20090916 Communication

WELCOME

W. A. T. C. H. W = WORDS A = ACTIONS T = THOUGHTS C = CHARACTER H = HEAD & HEART

One Day Seminar on Communication & Interpersonal Skills Presentation For Nagarjuna Fertilizers & Chemicals Ltd. Hyderabad Prof. V. Viswanadham WELCOME TO THE HEAD, HEART & HANDS OF NAGARJUNA

COMMUNICATION Importance, Basic Principles, Process, Types, Channels, etc. [ in the organizational context ] Compiled and presented by: Prof. V. Viswanadham

Ability to communicate effectively makes all the difference

Need for Communication • Very strong in Human beings • Considered as a basic need, as in the case of eating, sleeping, etc. • Established as both a social & individual need

Intended message is frequently mis-communicated, misunderstood, mis-quoted or even missed altogether because of ineffective interpersonal communication skills.

Communication helps : people reach some understanding of each other, learn to like each other, influence one another, build trust, and learn more about themselves and how people perceive them.

People who communicate effectively know how to interact with others flexibly, skillfully, and responsibly, but without sacrificing their own needs and integrity.

Communication plays a very significant part in human life. In today’s team-oriented workplace , the development of effective communication skills and good interpersonal communication skills constitute important keys to success. To build the competence and commitment of employees, a manager has to … … … ?

Uniqueness of Organisational Communication

In an organisation,

groups,

departments,

branches and

services,

tend to develop

philosophies,

strategies,

tactics, and

views of their own

which promote,

sustain and

protect

their own special interests.

At times, these different things

may sub-optimise the organisational goals

thus creating conflict situations

Benefits of improving communication skills

Understand better what others are saying.

Better understand how to get your own message across.

Enhance relationships.

Increase productivity.

Reduce stress.

Importance Of Communication

Organizational / Functional: greater information access and awareness

Improves coordination: reduces logical gaps

Encourages cooperation: helps bring everyone in the mainstream

Gives a direction: to tasks and activities

Morale and empowerment

Decision making aid

Speeds up the organizational processes

Better focus on customer requirements

Generates a greater sense of organizational commitment and involvement

A problem solving tool: by clarity, preciseness and feedback

What needs to be communicated Information/data + Attitudes Values Moods Emotions

Communication is a two-way process of giving and receiving information through one or more number of channels.

Basic Principles of Communication

Communication

Communication

is the process of sending and receiving messages

What is Communication ?

Communication is an exchange of information

from the sender to the receiver

with the message being understood

as intended by the sender

Idea Decode Idea Listens Reads Observes Speaks Writes Acts Draws Words Actions Pictures Numbers Encode Symbols The receiver Sender

THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS

COMMUNICATION PROCESS SOURCE ENCODING MESSAGE DECODING RECEIVER FEEDBACK Ideas, Info, Intentions and Purpose Necessity of using words, symbols or forms in a precise manner Its final shape and form depends on the channel selected and the speed Interpreting message in terms of background experience and expectation Understood and acted in the light of it

To act as a speaker, writer, listener or reader, the learner must be able to act out a sequence of skilled actions. To speak , the learner must be able to : Plan and organize a message (cognitive skills); Formulate a linguistic utterance (linguistic skills); Articulate the utterance (phonetic skills); To write , the learner must be able to : Organize and formulate the message (cognitive and linguistic skills); Hand-write or type the text (manual skills) COMMUNICATIVE LANGUAGE PROCESSES

To listen , the learner must be able to : Perceive the utterance (auditory phonetic skills); Identify the linguistic message (linguistic skills); Understand the message (semantic skills); Interpret the message (cognitive skills); To read , the reader must be able to : Perceive the written text (visual skills); Recognize the script (orthographic skills); Identify the message (cognitive skills). Understand the message (semantic skills); Interpret the message (cognitive skills).

Flow of communication

At the workplace

Upward From subordinates to superior

Downward

From superiors to the subordinates

Lateral

From one employee to another

Types of communication Formal Informal

COMMUNICATION NETWORKS

Formal communication network :

follows the hierarchical structure

of the organization,

or the "chain of command."

Informal communication network:

i nvolves communication

that follows the "grapevine."

Formal Communication Workers H E A D Managers Managers Workers Workers Efforts at coordination Information Instructions and directives Workers

DIRECTION OF COMMUNICATION FLOW

Downward communication

flows from upper management down

to the employees at lower ranks.

Job instruction

Ideology

Information

Feedback

Upward communication

is initiated by those at the lower levels of the organization

positive

timely

support current policy

CHANNELS OF COMMUNICATION Face to Face Interactive TV - high speed connections (two way) Video-Voice / Data Channel (one way) Telephone E-mail Personal written correspondence Formal written message Public speaking Data Reports Broadcast e- mails / reports

CHANNELS OF COMMUNICATION VOCAL NON-VOCAL VERBAL SPOKEN WORDS WRITTEN WORDS NON-VERBAL SIGH FACIAL EXPRESSION GRUNT POSTURE / GESTURE INFLECTION SPATIAL RELATIONSHIP

Whether one is speaking informally to a colleague, addressing formally a conference or meeting, writing a newsletter article or Preparing a formal report, the following 11 basic principles apply:

Know your audience.

2. Know your purpose.

3. Know your topic.

4. Anticipate objections. 5. Present a rounded picture. 6. Achieve credibility with your audience.

7. Follow through on what you say. 8. Communicate a little at a time. 9. Present information in several ways.

Use multiple

communication techniques.

Develop a practical, useful way

to get feedback.

Misconceptions of Communication

Communication is complex. When listening to, or reading someone else's message, we often F I L T E R what's being said through a screen of our own opinions. One of the major barriers to communication is our own ideas and opinions. What are Communication Misconceptions ?

What are Communication Misconceptions ? WORDS HAVE MEANING, BUT MEANINGS ARE NOT IN WORDS. Your perception about the world is not the same as mine. Our experiences may give different colors and hues, life and meanings to words. And because your perception determines the meanings you attribute to words, in communication, the message SENT is not necessarily the message RECEIVED. And for your listeners, real communication is the communication they received.

MORE COMMUNICATION IS NOT ALWAYS BETTER. Too much talking is, many a time, counter-productive. How much talking ? The decision is contextual. Study the audience . Let not the audience got bored, irritated, and come to the conclusion that – the speaker does not know how to manage his time, the content of his message, and himself. Sometimes, it is much better to stop talking. What are Communication Misconceptions ?

NO SINGLE PERSON OR EVENT CAUSES ANOTHER REACTION. Earlier events, their impact and intensity, earlier experience, may be with other persons, and of course, earlier experience, with the same person – all combined together is likely to cause the REACTION What are Communication Misconceptions ?

What are Communication Misconceptions ? COMMUNICATION CAN SOLVE ALL PROBLEMS. Communication, no doubt helps in solving problems. However, it is best to bear in mind that communication will not solve all problems. Problems of people are not only caused by miscommunication.

Communication is Transactional Each person is both sending and receiving simultaneously. Parties communicating have an impact on each other

Communication is a Process Changes in events and relationships are part of a continuous flow. Every communication experience is the result of the accumulation of experiences preceding the present one. Every new experience affects the future ones.

1. You have the right to be treated with respect. 1. You have the responsiblity to treat others with respect. Communication Rights and Responsibilities

2. You have the right to have and express your own opinions 2. You have the responsibility to listen to the opinions of others. Communication Rights and Responsibilities

3. You have the right to ask for what you need and want in order to be effective 3. You have the responsibility to acknowledge and address the needs of others. Communication Rights and Responsibilities

Workplace Communications 5 types of communication relationships: Collaborative, Negotiative, Competitive, Conflictive and Non-recognition.

Non-Verbal Communication: People send messages to each other without talking. They communicate through facial expressions, head positions, arm and hand movements, body posture, positioning of legs & feet, and the way people use “space”

Body Language

Interpreting body language is vital

in any communication process

Observe the body movements and postures

Match the other person’s body language,

if appropriate and if required.

Two basic groups of body language

OPEN/CLOSED and

FORWARD/BACK

RESPONSIVE ENGAGED leaning forward open body open arms open hands EAGER (sprint position) open legs feet under chair on toes leaning forward READY TO AGREE closes papers pen down hands flat on table REFLECTIVE LISTENING head tilted lots of eye contact nodding high blink rate EVALUATING sucks glasses/ pencil strokes chin looks up and right legs crossed in 4 pos. (ankle on knee) ATTENTIVE (standing) arms behind back smile open feet FUGITIVE BORED staring into space slumped posture doodling foot tapping LET ME GO feet towards door looking around buttoning jacket REJECTION sitting/moving back arms folded legs crossed 11 pos (thigh on knee) head down frown DEFENSIVE (standing) feet pointing in hands clenched COMBATIVE LET ME SPEAK finger tapping foot tapping staring AGGRESSIVE leaning forwards finger pointing fists clenched DEFIANT (standing) hands on hips frown LYING touches face hand over mouth pulls ear eyes down glances at you shifts in seat looks down and to left

Being aware of non-verbal communication, one can interpret the signals of others, or send signals to others. Awareness of non-verbal communication helps people: • Project an image of confidence and knowledge. • Demonstrate power or influence • Express sincerity, interest and cooperativeness. • Create trust. • Recognize personal tension in self and others. • Identify discrepancies between what people are saying and what they are actually thinking. • Change behavior and environment to encourage productive discussion.

Intrapersonal Communication: When people talk to themselves, communication takes place within the brain. Individual reflection, contemplation, meditation are examples of Intrapersonal Communication. It embraces their thoughts, experiences and perceptions during a communication event. Behavior responses on all other levels of communication essentially begin on intrapersonal level.

Interpersonal Communication: This type of communication can occur in both a one-on-one and a group setting. This also means being able to handle different people in different situations and making people feel at ease. Gestures such as eye contact, body movement, and hand gestures are also part of interpersonal communication.

Interpersonal Communication: … contd. The most common functions of interpersonal communication are listening, talking and conflict resolution. Types of interpersonal communication vary from verbal to non-verbal and from situation to situation.

Communication styles

Communication Styles Every time a manager speaks, s/he chooses and uses one of four basic communication styles: Passive Aggressive, Passive-aggressive and Assertive.

1.Passive Style : Passive communication is based on compliance and hopes to avoid confrontation at all costs. In this mode, people do not talk much, question even less, and actually do very little. They usually have a low sense of self-esteem, and have a difficult time recognizing their own needs and knowing how to meet them more appropriately. They internalize discomfort rather than risk, upsetting others. This style tends to result in a lose-win situation, and results in feelings of victimization, resentment, and a loss of a sense of control.

2. Aggressive Style : Aggressive communication always involves manipulation. Managers adopting the aggressive style create a win-lose situation. They use intimidation and control to get their needs met, and they are disrespectful and hurtful to others in communications. They have the underlying beliefs that power and control are the only way to get needs met. They operate from a real sense of inadequacy and may have a lack of empathy for others.

3. Passive-aggressive Style : A combination of styles, passive-aggressive avoids direct confrontation (passive), but attempts to get even through manipulation (aggressive). The passive-aggressive people incorporate elements of both the styles. They try to use procrastination, forgetfulness, and intentional inefficiency rather than being direct aggressive in their communications with others. This style of communication often leads to office politics and rumour-mongering.

4. Assertive Style : The most effective and healthiest form of communication is the assertive style. It’s how people naturally express themselves when their self-esteem is intact, giving them the confidence to communicate without games and manipulation. The assertive people are direct with the goal of creating a win-win situation. They operate from the belief that each person is responsible for solving his or her own problems, and neither party in communication has to justify themselves to each other. They take responsibility for their own decisions and actions.

FOUR APPROACHES TO SPEAKING

MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY: THE AGGRESSIVE APPROACH

“ You must…”

“ Because I said so”

“ You always/never….”

There is nothing subtle to the aggressive approach.

The following are the common behaviours :

Blaming, accusing

Intimidating body language

Demanding, ordering

Raised voice

Harsh, personal language

Verbal browbeating

2. THE APPEASING WAY: THE NON ASSERTIVE APPROACH

“ Uh…if that’s the way you want to do it...um, that’s fine with me.”

“ I don’t know if I could do that.”

“ I’ll talk to him soon about that problem; I’ve been really busy.”

“ I am sorry to ask you.”

“ I hate to bother you.”

“ May be that’s a good idea”

Behaviours:

Soft voice

Overly agreeable, no point of view expressed

Avoidance

Withdrawn body language

Sounding unsure

Beating around the bush

Sounding hopeless and helpless

3 . SUBTLE BUT AGGRAVATING:

THE PASSIVE - AGGRESSIVE APPROACH

“ I knew that wouldn’t work.”

“ If that’s the way you want it…..”

“ How could you even think of that?”

“ When was the last time you helped me?”

“ The problem with Joe is….”

Behaviours:

Appears to agree but really does not agree

Tells others but not the source of concern

Makes subtle digs and sarcastic remarks

Keeps score and sets conditions

Nonverbal message contradicts the verbal massage

Holds back expressing concern or providing assistance

Criticizes after the fact

4 . STRAIGHT AND POSITIVE:

THE ASSERTIVE APPROACH

“ Yes that was my mistake.”

“ As I understand your point…..”

“ Let me explain why I disagree with that point.”

“ Let’s define the issue and then explore some options to help resolve it.”

“ Please hear me and then work with me to resolve my concern.”

Behaviours:

Takes responsibility

Listens actively

Takes initiative

Speaks up, is direct and constructive

Shows sincerity

Is solution focused

Assumes confident voice and body language

Addresses concerns directly to the source

Requests needs

Understanding the four basic types of communication will help managers learn how to react most effectively when confronted with a difficult person. They always have a choice as to which communication style to use. If they are serious about taking control of their life, they should practice being more assertive. It will help them diffuse anger, reduce guilt and build relationships - both personally and professionally.

STRATEGIES FOR DEVELOPING ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION • Watch your body posture – practice using an open, assertive body language and voice. • Think before you speak. Take a few seconds to make sure you are conveying the right message, and in the way you want to convey it. • Don’t apologize if it’s not warranted. • Remember it is ok to say “no”. • Remember everyone is entitled to an opinion, and don’t try to convince others beyond a limit.

3. Reading: Good reading habits and strategies help managers handle their tasks more efficiently. six reading strategies for optimal results: • Knowing what is needed to be known, and reading appropriately • Knowing how deeply to read the document: skimming, scanning or studying • Using active reading techniques to pick out key points and keeping the mind focused on the material • Using the table of contents for reading magazines and newspapers, and clipping useful articles • Understanding how to extract information from different article types • Creating a table of contents for reviewing material

Barriers and Roadblocks of Communication

Barriers to communication INITIATION OF MESSAGE Different personalities of sender and receiver Different perceptions of sender and receiver Receiver evaluates credibility of sender Words have different meaning Receiver hears what he wants to hear Code not understood Noise Distorted message

Common Roadblocks to Communication Communication roadblocks are an inevitable aspect of every workplace. These roadblocks distort the normal flow of communication. Managers should realize the importance of understanding the interpersonal communication process at the workplace, focusing on:

Communication Roadblocks • The way minds work • Sender’s behavior • Receiver’s behavior

The way minds work

Perceptions of the reality

Prejudices

Perceptions of the relationships

Gender differences

Sender’s behavior

Inability to choose the right word

Different words may mean different things

to different people

3. Hiding Thoughts and Feelings

4. The Sender may be blind to others’ emotions

or blinded by them

Receiver’s behavior

Hearing through own filters

Receivers are easily distracted –

- lower levels of ability to concentrate

3. Reactions that block communication

4. Offering solutions by interrupting

5. Avoiding others’ concerns

How to overcome Communication Roadblocks ? • Effective Listening • Reading body language • Effective Speaking • Skill Training

The Process of Listening

Types of Listening

Active vs. Passive

Positive vs. Negative

What Kind is it?

Appreciative

Empathic

Discriminative

Analytical

Effective Listening Behaviors that support effective listening Behaviors that hinder effective listening

Effective Listening Behaviors that support effective listening • Maintaining relaxed body posture • Leaning slightly forward if sitting • Facing person squarely at eye level • Maintaining an open posture • Maintaining appropriate distance • Offering simple acknowledgements • Reflecting meaning (paraphrase) • Reflecting emotions • Using eye contact • Providing non-distracting environment

Effective Listening Behaviors that hinder effective listening • Acting distracted • Telling your own story without acknowledging theirs first • No response • Invalidating response, put downs • Interrupting • Criticizing • Judging • Diagnosing • Giving advice/solutions • Changing the subject • Reassuring without acknowledgment

Listening

Since people have two ears and only one mouth, listening might be the most important communication skill. Unfortunately few people are good listeners. Listening is more than merely hearing with our ears. Listening is a combination of what another person says and involvement with the other person who is talking.

Active listening is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding, overcoming communication roadblocks. There are five levels of active listening:

Basic Acknowledgments

(2) Questions

(3) Paraphrasing

(4) Mirroring feelings

(5) Reflecting meanings

Listening

Basic Acknowledgments:

Basic acknowledgements include

verbal,

visual – nonverbal signs and

vocal sounds

that let the speaker know

how the audience is listening with interest and respect, such as:

head-nodding,

leaning forward or backward,

making eye contacts,

“ uh-huh”, “oh really”, “no-kidding”, ‘tell me more”, “I hear you”, “so..”, “I see”, “yes”.

Listening

(2) Questions:

The idea of asking questions may seem contradictory to the idea of listening. But,

an active listener is asking questions in order to show the speaker his/ her interest

(a) in what is being said

(b) in knowing more to gain a better understanding of the speaker’s point of view.

Open-ended questions are preferable to close-ended questions, because they are providing opportunities for the speaker to open up, to explore his/ her thoughts and feelings.

It is also important to ask one question at a time.

Listening

(3) Paraphrasing:

Paraphrasing focuses

on the speaker’s content, and

summarizing what was said

in order to clarify and confirm correct understanding.

The steps of the paraphrasing process are:

(a) Let the speaker finish what he/she wanted to say.

(b) Restate with your own words what you think the speaker has said

(c) If the speaker confirms your understanding continue the conversation

(d) If the speaker indicates you misunderstood ask the speaker to repeat. “I do not understand. Could you please say it again?”

Listening

(4) Mirroring feelings

Mirroring involves reflecting back to the speaker the emotions s/he is communicating. Do not miss the emotional dimension of a conversation, by focusing exclusively on the content. Encourage the speaker to disclose feelings – may be joy, sorrow, frustration, anger or grief. The reflection of feelings will help the speaker understand his/ her own emotions and move toward a solution of the problem.

In order to understand and mirror feelings:

(a) Observe the feeling words the speaker uses.

(b) The speaker may not use feeling words at all because suppression of feelings is so widespread in our culture. Then, focus on the content and ask yourself: If I were having that experience, if I were saying and doing those things what would I be feeling?

(c) Observe the body language, facial expressions, the tone of the voice, gestures and posture.

Listening

(5) Reflecting meanings

Once a person knows how to reflect feeling and content separately it is relatively easy to put the two together into a reflection of meaning.

It would be useful to use the formula:

“ You feel (insert the feeling word)

because (insert the event or other content

associated with the feeling)”

Summative Reflections

A summative reflection is a brief restatement of the main themes and feelings the speaker expressed over a longer period of discussions.

A good summarization may help the speaker have a greater coherence, a better understanding of the situation and draw conclusions.

2. Body Language – Reading the Body Language Non-verbal communication, i.e. body language, has been a means of interpersonal communication and was used long before language appeared. In a message , words are effective carriers of factual information. The content of the conversation can be important. But when emotions are engaged they should receive primary attention and they are mostly conveyed by non-verbal elements. Understanding the body language is one of the most important skills for effective communication. In order to do it:

Focus attention on the important clues: Facial expression – especially eyes Vocal expression Tone of the voice gives information about speaker’s feelings, anger, boredom, depression, enthusiasm or disbelief Posture and gestures – movements of the head, legs, and hands reveal the levels of self-esteem and inner energy Clothing and environment style give clues about personal characteristics Body Language – Reading the Body Language

Note discrepancies When there is a discrepancy between words and body language, both messages are important. Search for the meanings – the contradictions Be aware of own feelings and bodily reactions Non-verbal communications can by-pass the conscious mind and trigger responses. By becoming aware of what one’s body is experiencing one becomes more sensitive to what other people are feeling. Body Language – Reading the Body Language

Reflect the feelings back to the sender Read non-verbal signs in the context . Sometimes, body language is very clear and unambiguous, but at other times it can be difficult to decipher. But mastering the art and science of decoding the non-verbal signs can improve communication dramatically and overcome many obstacles. Body Language – Reading the Body Language

3. Speaking When sending a message as speakers, people should: • Know what they mean and express it clearly, with respect and sensitivity. • Check or build the common understanding of the words they use, because words can have different meanings for different people, especially if coming from different cultures and educational backgrounds • Use de-escalatory language, resist the temptation to make personal attacks and accuse, by replacing accusatory “you” statements with less provocative “I” statements. Body Language – Reading the Body Language

4. Skill Training Skill-building training can improve communication abilities. Reading Books and/or attending training programmes, will surely improve your understanding and knowledge of the main concepts. Higher levels of communication effectiveness can be reached only through intensive and well-designed training programs. More importantly, continuous and committed practice on the part of the individual is particularly necessary for skill development.

Improving Communication Skills

IT ISN’T JUST WHAT YOU SAY BUT HOW YOU SAY IT

What you say is important,

but how you say it often carries more weight

Most people haven’t been taught how to truly listen;

therefore, you can’t count on them to listen fully and effectively when you speak to them

Make steady eye contact

Maintain eye contact

Look in the right places

Posture

Facial expressions - tells all or nothing at all

Gestures - use in unison with your speech

Project your voice - vary speed and pitch

Show inflection in your voice

Display sincerity in your tone

Enunciate your words clearly

Insert pauses occasionally in your message

Match your pace with your listener’s pace of speaking

AVOID:

Displaying threatening gestures

Showing no gestures

Exhibiting distracting habits

Sounding uncertain

Being too soft spoken

Speaking too slowly

Mumbling

Being too loud

Dropping voice at the end of the sentence

Sounding monotonous

Putting people down with your tone

Having harshness in your tone

Speaking too fast

Using excessive filler sounds.

Sugarcoating

Staring and glaring Looking away and all round Darting glances Blinking excessively Focusing on one person, not everyone Glazing over Invading space Hovering over the listener Looking blank Looking stern Folding your arms

Arena Blind Spot Facade Unknown Known to self Unknown to self Feed Back Known to Others Unknown to Others E X P O S U R E Communication – Johari Window Model

Additional slides on Improving effective listening skills

Ten Commandments of Effective Listening

1. Stop talking!

You cannot listen when you are talking. You will only be thinking about what you are going to say next instead of paying attention to what the other person is trying to say.

Consciously focus your attention on the speaker.

2. Put the speaker at ease:

Relax, smile, look at the speaker and help that person feel free to talk.

Look and act interested.

Remove distractions:

close the door;

stop what you are doing, and pay attention.

3. Pay attention

to the nonverbal language of

physical gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and body posture.

[ An authority on nonverbal language says that 55 percent of the message meaning is nonverbal, 38 percent is indicated by tone of voice, and only 7 percent is conveyed by the words used in a spoken message. ]

Few people know how to listen to the eyes; what a tapping foot means; a furrowed brow; clenched fist; the biting of nails. These often reveal the key feelings behind the words.

4.Listen for what is not said also.

Ask questions to clarify the meaning of words and the feelings involved, or ask the speaker to enlarge on the statement.

People often find it difficult to speak up about matters or experiences that are very important or highly emotional for them. Listen for how the speaker presents the message. What people hesitate to say is often the most critical point.

5.Know exactly what the other person is saying.

Reflect back what the other person has said in a "shared meaning" experience so that you can completely understand the meaning and content of the message before you reply to it.

A good listener does not assume they understand the other person. You, as the listener, should not express your views until you have summarized the speaker's message to his satisfaction.

6.Be aware of "tune out" words.

These are words which appear in the media that strike an emotional chord in the listener and interferes with attentive listening (e.g. abortion, nuclear war, communism, homosexuality).

Avoid arguing mentally. Listen to understand, not to oppose.

7.Concentrate on "hidden" emotional meanings.

What are the real feelings behind the words? What is the tone of voice saying?

What does the emphasis on certain words mean?

Notice how the meaning of the following question is changed when you change the emphasis from one word to the next.

What do you want?

What do you want?

What do you want?

What do you want?

8.Be patient.

Don't interrupt the speaker.

This is disrespectful and suggests you want to talk instead of listen.

Allow plenty of time for the speaker to convey ideas and meaning.

Be courteous and give the speaker adequate time to present the full message.

9.Hold your temper!

Try to keep your own emotions from interfering with your listening efficiency.

When emotions are high, there is a tendency to tune out the speaker, become defensive, or want to give advice.

You don't have to agree to be a good listener.

Don't argue! Even if you win, you lose.

10.Empathize with the speaker.

Try to "walk in the other's moccasins" so you can feel what that person is feeling and understand the point of view the speaker is trying to convey.

Conclusion

"What is so important about listening? I listen!"

Sure you do. But how? How adept are you, for example, in getting people to come right out and really talk to you?

Before you can get the most out of a listening situation, others must first believe that you really want to listen. They must feel that when they tell you something, it will be received by you in the proper spirit.

Learn to listen beyond the words, with your heart as well as your ears.

Observe the signs of the inner feelings such as voice quality, facial expressions, body posture and motions, etc. These actions are revealing, and sometimes may have an opposite meaning from the spoken word.

A friend put it this way: "You listened as if you wanted to hear what I was going to say, as if it was really important to you. And that makes me feel good!"

Communication Ethics

If knowledge is power, - implying that information is knowledge, and if we have information, then we must respect and handle our communication with restraint.

Key Points:

maintain confidentiality -

Confidential information is trust reposed

- not trust betrayed

Certain information is `need to know’ - the job demands it, certain information is `desire to know’ - it may help in my job, and certain information is `desirable to know’, it may increase my power, fame and status.

… . Communication Ethics

Ownership of information - Permission of the owner is a must before using it.

Knowledge of information vs. use of information - having information does not mean you can use it.

Communication must flow through a proper channel - cutting across channels causes heartburns, hurt and misunderstandings

Timing and place - be careful and be sensitive to it.

Gossiping - is like `stabbing in the back’

WITH GRATEFUL THANKS to many authors, writers, teachers & good friends whose combined contribution inspired me in compiling this presentation

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