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YIN and YANG of PERSONAL SUCCESS

by Vadim Kotelnikov on Oct 09, 2009

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Free smart & fast mini-course by Vadim Kotelnikov, Founder of Inspirational Business e-Coach (InsBeCo)

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The Two Polar Energies Yin and yang represent two fundamental forces that create and harmonize the Universe by their interaction. These two opposite, conflicting forces found in every action. They symbolize the two polar energies that, by their fluctuation and interaction, are responsible for the dynamic universe. The notion means that the reality consists of relationships between opposite and opposite principles. Origin of the Yin-Yang Concept The concept yin-yang stems from the Book of Change (I-ching), a Chinese book of wisdom and oracles, dating from the transition period between the Yin and Chou dynasties. The essential philosophy of the Book of Change is based on Confucianism, but there are also Taoist ideas present. It is based on the idea of two polar energies, by whose activities all things are brought about and come into being. Initially, these two energies were simply called the light and the dark, but later were referred to as yin and yang. The interaction of yin and yang produces change, which is to be understood as the movement of the Tao. Yin and yang are polar manifestations of the Tao – the supreme ultimate. The One is divided through the creative powers of the Tao into two opposite energetics and dualities, which then give birth to "the ten thousand things", their concrete manifestations being Earth and Heaven. The Yang and Yin operate in the universe primarily through the agency of the five elements: Earth (Saturn), Water (Mercury), Metal (Venus), Wood (Jupiter), and Fire (Mars). These elements under the guidance of the five planets form, with the Sun and Moon, the seven rulers. Each of the elements may also be Yang or Yin, so that combinations of all these could produce broad number possibilities (sic) and astrological alternatives. Each, of course, has its symbol which can be, and often was, incised into jade. The Manifestation of Continuous Change From the intermingling of yin and yang arise the five elements – water, fire, wood, metal, and earth - the five phases of transformation, or five energies, that determine the course of natural phenomena. This manifestation of all phenomena is seen as a cyclic process, an endless coming into being and passing away, as everything, upon reaching an extreme stage, transforms into its opposite. The underlying shared characteristic of yin and yang therefore consists in giving rise to this continuous change, which is said to be the movement of the Tao.
I-Ching – the Secret of Success I-Ching is the secret of all success in life and business. The key to success is living in harmony with nature. I-Ching reflects the changes that are constantly operating throughout all levels of the universe – the cycles and tides of luck which you must learn and ride if you wish to achieve success. It helps you understand these mysterious rhythms, and to re-align your live so that you can live more in harmony with the laws of nature. I-Ching is divided into two systems of wisdom: Space and Time I-Ching System and the Tao of Change. Space and Time I-Ching System The Space and Time I-Ching System helps you forecast events through the use of the date, time, and Five Elements – Earth, Water, Fire, Air, and Space . Unlike many other methods of forecasting, Space and Time I-Ching System does not simply foretell future events, but also helps you turn opportunities to your advantage by offering sound 5Ws advice on: 1. Who: the best person whom you should deal with 2. What: the action to be taken and what should be done 3. When: the best time in which something must be done 4. Where: the direction in which you should proceed, and 5. How: the way of doing things, how you should start and maintain the direction. The Tao of Change, or Taoist Methodology The Tao of Change consists of many sets of guiding principles that help you understand the universal laws. The person who fights the universe always loses because the will of the universe cannot be changed. Nothing stands still. For everything there is a proper time. Nothing lasts forever. All that exists must change. Everything, including success and decline, follows a specific pattern of succession and occupies a specific period in time. The pattern of change is repetitious. The Tao of Change helps you understand this pattern and, thus, find true contentment. Fighting decline or any other changes will result in misery, Do not strive to hasten good fortune prematurely and accept inevitable decline if you wish to achieve true contentment. Tread the middle path of balanced progress to avoid all conflicts by aligning yourself with steady rhythms of the universe and finally become one with Tao.
Balancing Giving and Receiving Your life can only be in balance when giving and receiving are in balance. Every interpersonal relationship is built on this fact of life. He who always gives acts against this principle just as much as he who only takes. This basic truth is valid without exception everywhere where people deal with people. Aligning Your Behavior With Your Beliefs Balance isn’t an issue of time, but an issue of choice. It’s about living your values by aligning your behavior with what you believe is really important. Maturity Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. Balance Out Your Work With Play "We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." – George Bernard Shaw "People whose work and play are in balance are composed and self-assured, radiating inner strength. You can be this way, too, and you don't need a doctor or a pharmacist to get you there. Just listen to your inner voice. It will tell you what you have to change in order to get in balance. Your inner voice never lies. And the wonderful thing is – this "medication" has no side effects," says Bruno Gideon Feng Shui Feng Shui teaches us how to create harmony and balance around us. It is a 5,000 year old tradition which comes to us from China. The purpose of Feng Shui is to balance the flow of energy in your immediate environment to promote harmony, happiness, and success. Intuitive Management Intuitive management is about making the right decisions at the right time through integrating and balancing left (analytical) and right (creative) brain management skills. Balanced Investment Portfolio When is comes to building your investment portfolio, finding a balance between your investment needs, strategic goals, and tolerance for risk is essential.
Choose To Be Happy The only source of happiness – and unhappiness – comes from inside yourself. Happiness is not something that comes to you. It is something you create now, today. Waiting for something to change in order to be happy is waiting to live your life. It is not what happens to you that counts. It is how you react to what happens to you. It is your attitude. When you adopt a positive attitude, life becomes a rewarding adventure instead of something to get through . Being In Harmony With Reality : Selected Quotes “ Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.” – Earl Nightingale “ I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires rather than in attempting to satisfy them.” – John Stuart Mill “ Even the most mundane objects are things of wonder, if we stop to look at them, and the fact that we are alive is the biggest wonder of all.” – David Fontana, Zen “ Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi “ Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” – Francesca Reigle “ Those only are happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness: on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself the ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way.” – John Stuart Mill “ People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.” – Ramona L. Anderson “ You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.” – Bette Davis
The Tao of Success and Achievement – Balancing Action and Reflection Creating success involves creating a delicate and ongoing balance between two somewhat opposing forces – reflection of where you are now and action of pushing toward where you need to go. This balance between reflection and action is very similar to the balance of Yin and Yang in the Tao philosophy. “ Reflecting and acting at the same time is very difficult as our mind can only hold one thought at a time. You need to be focused on either reflection or action at one point and then be able to switch quickly and effortlessly to the other polarity when required. There are also times when you must focus your energy in one of the two polarities to bring balance back. This is an important point to remember when you are considering focus and balance your life.” (Paul Frazer) The Thought-factor in Achievement "All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts," wrote James Allen, the author of As a Man of Thinketh. "A man's weakness and strength, purity and impurity, are his own, and not another man's; they are brought about by himself, and not by another; and they can only be altered by himself, never by another. His condition is also his own, and not another man's. His suffering and his happiness are evolved from within. As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains. A strong man cannot help a weaker unless that weaker is willing to be helped, and even then the weak man must become strong of himself; he must, by his own efforts, develop the strength which he admires in another. None but himself can alter his condition. It has been usual for men to think and to say, "Many men are slaves because one is an oppressor; let us hate the oppressor." Now, however, there is amongst an increasing few a tendency to reverse this judgment, and to say, "One man is an oppressor because many are slaves; let us despise the slaves... All achievements, whether in the business, intellectual, or spiritual world, are the result of definitely directed thought, are governed by the same law and are of the same method; the only difference lies in the object of attainment.“ Lessons from Great Achievers: Steve Jobs, the Co-Founder of Apple "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become."
‘ Tao Te Ching’, Verse 36 – written by Lao-Tzu If you want something to return to the source, you must first allow it to spread out. If you want something to weaken, you must first allow it to become strong. If you want something to be removed, you must first allow it to flourish. If you want to possess something, you must first give it away. This is called the subtle understanding of how things are meant to be. The soft and pliable overcomes the hard and inflexible. Just as fish remain hidden in deep waters, it is best to keep weapons out of sight. Influence – the Key to Success Every hour of every day, in every organization, at every level, influential people succeed and non-influential people don't. “There are always two choices: either you can persuade others to help you or you can be persuaded to help them. It is one or the other. Most people are not aware that every human interaction involves a complex process of persuasion and influence. And being unaware, they are usually the ones being persuaded to help others rather than the ones who are doing the persuading.” (Brian Tracy) The Art of Influence in the Ancient Greek Philosophy Ethos – concerns your credibility, your emotional bank account Pathos – deals with emotions and motivation Logos – deals with the logical reasoning process Self-Awareness – the First Step to Influencing Others Great leaders, coaches and communicators don't focus extremely on their followers, players and audience. They have a high degree of self-awareness. We all have basic skills to lead, coach, or communicate; unfortunately, most of us have a few psychological blocks when it comes to applying those skills well and consistently. Knowing yourself will help you overcome your own blocks. Rapport – the Key to Influence Rapport is the key to influence. Rapport and influence start with acceptance of the other person's point of view, their state and their style of communication. To influence you have to be able to appreciate and understand the other person's standpoint. And these work both ways: I cannot influence you without being open to influence myself.
“ Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens,” – Jimi Hendrix Yin of Communication “ Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower Good communication is not about clever techniques, it is about sincere understanding. Everyone needs a person to whom they can open up. Human beings are desperate to feel important and valued. This amazing quote from Mary Kay Ash "Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck. It says, 'Make Me Feel Important',“ is so true. That’s why great listeners are so popular everywhere. Learn to listen. Show people that their thoughts and insights are important to you. Use silence to encourage other people to talk. Silence, listening and caring about the answers is a great conversation skill. Strive to understand others. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to see things through his or her eyes. Learn to listen to body language and emotions and to hear what isn't being said. Finally, as Wilson Mizner put it, “A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.” You should always focus on learning. Learn from the best. Find people who are getting the results you want to achieve and ask them for advice. Always ask people around you for feedback... What mistakes are you making? How could you improve? Yang of Communication "You can't not communicate. Everything you say and do or don't say and don't do sends a message to others." – John Woods Learn how to communicate effectively your ideas to others. The two parts of a message – the content and the message – must complement each other. For effective communication, avoid both too little and too much communication. Break complex messages into parts and explain the relationship of the parts. Know what your body is saying. Communication is not just about the words you use. In fact, you communicate more with your gestures and expressions, your body language. In communication circles, there's the Elevator Speech. You've got to be able to get your key point across in a matter of seconds, in the time you'd spend taking a short elevator ride. Focus is everything. Don't dilute your message. Don't cloud the main issue by insignificant information. “ One kind word can warm three winter months.” – Japanese proverb
To Listen Well You Must: Be able to hear what's being said Actively focus your attention on what's being said Understand and accept what's being said for what it is, independent of your feelings about it Evaluate what has been said Give feedback NLP Solutions: Engage All of Your Senses Most people simply listen to the words that are being said to them, but words contain only 10% of the message. The remaining 90% is hidden in the body language and the tone of voice. Understanding body language can help you look beyond what people say to what they really mean. To remember better what's being communicated to you, try to engage all your senses whilst listening as human brain stores pictures, feelings, smells and tastes more effectively than words. Understand you preferred mode of thinking, your mental map: whether you are a visual ('see' the world), auditory ('hear' the world), or a kinesthetic ('feel' the world). If you are a visual, when you're listening to someone, first of all make what they're are telling you into a movie. As brains remember better things that are out of the ordinary, you can try distorting pictures or making them funny. To enhance the effect, add sounds, link feelings to your movies, put the taste and smells in. And exaggerate everything. Benefits of Active Listening facilitates understanding and working with others to produce creative solutions and solve problems encourages speakers to keep communicating, to share more and go deeper promotes open relationships prompts your prospects to release their feelings more easily makes your prospects feel less controlled by you and less afraid of a negative response
"Think once before you give, twice before you take but a thousand times before you ask for something." – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach Giving and Receiving – An Ongoing Balancing Act Your life can only be in balance when giving and receiving are in balance. This basic truth is valid without exception everywhere where people deal with people. Every interpersonal relationship is built on this fact of life. He who always gives acts against this principle just as much as he who only takes. Life doesn't go very well when you fail to strike a healthy balance between the two. Remind yourselves of love and translate the word "love" into action, because that is the basis of harmonic relationships and gracious giving and receiving. When giving and receiving are in proper balance, you have time both to listen and to tell, to help others and to receive help, to be there for people in need and to ask people for something. Your Most Important Relationship Your relationship with yourself is your closest and most important relationship. What kind of relationship with yourself have you chosen – a judging, a coaching, a fearful, or a loving one? "Ask yourself in meditation what kind of friendship you want to nurture with your own self – do you want an inner friend who constantly judges you and denies you love, or do you want an inner friend who accepts you just as you are?" advises John Selby. NLP Technology of Achievement: Exploring Relationships Don't forget that your and your prospect's map of the reality is not the same – the meaning of the same thing is different for different people Explore what you think about the relationship. Label both your own and the other person's behavior. Change the state – shake off all bad feelings. Explore the relationship from the other person's point of view. Imagine how they experience your behavior. What sort of label would they put on it? How do they feel? Shake off that emotional state before continuing. Go outside the relationship, become a detached observer – imagine a stage and see both of you on stage. See that other person doing what they do, and see yourself responding to them. Shift your question from 'How can I change that person's behavior?' to 'How am I reinforcing or triggering that person's behavior?' Explore how else you could respond to him or her.
Cultural Differences at Work When working with someone from a different culture, use cross-cultural differences management techniques and skills, in particular: Remember that cultural difference arise from different origins: birthplace; nationality; ethnicity; family status; gender; age; language; education; physical condition; sexual orientation; religion; profession; place of work and the corporate culture of the previous employer. Cultural differences can result in higher or lower levels of perceived performance, and in more or less need and acceptance of feedback. Be explicit with yourself and with your multinational team members about the implications of the cultural differences. Commit to building shared values and shared expectations - in terms of management style, need for creativity, adherence to deadlines, frequency of progress checks, etc. Case in Point: Dell Computer Corporation When Dell Inc. moved into Asia, people told them that their Western concept wouldn't work there. "But rather than tailoring the strategy to fit the culture, we said, " We think our direct model will work cross-culturally. And we're willing to take the risk," writes Michael Dell, Chairman and CEO of the Dell Computer Corporation. "To be sure we do some localization," he continues. You obviously can't sell English-language computers in China. And from a cultural perspective, customers in other countries are different. We learned, for example, that some Germans aren't comfortable telephoning in a response to an advertisement; they find it too forward. They will, however, respond to an ad that features a fax number. They'll send in a fax, asking for more information, and will provide their name and phone number so that a Dell representative can call them. The conversation that ensues is almost exactly the same as that which would have occurred if the German customer had made the call himself. It was a slight modification that allowed us to adapt to cultural differences without altering our business strategies."

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YIN and YANG of PERSONAL SUCCESS Presentation Transcript

Inspirational micro-course (10 slides) by Vadim Kotelnikov Founder Inspirational Business e-Coach We don’t teach, we inspire! 1000ventures InsBeCo 1000advices success360 fun4biz Yin and Yang of Success Balancing Passive, Receptive and Active, Creative Strategies
Yin and Yang The Symbol of Tao The yin-yang symbol stands for the universe composed of yin and yang, which form a whole only in combination. Properties and Associations The two spots in the symbol indicate that each of the two energies – at the highest stage of its realization – already contains the seed of, and is about to transform into, its polar opposite. InsBeCo Hard Soft Bright Dark Creative Receptive Active Passive Masculine Feminine Yang Yin
The Success Formula According to Taoism S = P + O Success is the sum of preparation and opportunity Preparation Success Opportunity
- I-Ching is divided into two systems of wisdom:
- Space and Time I-Ching – helps you forecast and manage opportunities
- The Tao of Change – helps you prepare for and manage change
I-Ching is the secret of all success in life and business InsBeCo
Balance A Key Element of a Happy Life and Sustainable Business Yin (passive, receptive) and Yang (active, creative) are both opposing forces and complementary pairs. Problems arise not when the two forces are battling, but when there is an imbalance between them in the environment. Conflicts, business problems, health disorders, divorce, and other problems – all can be attributed to disharmony in the forces of yin and yang. Why Balance? Balance is about how you live your life and manage your business and people. When your life or business is out of balance, nothing works. Finding the right balance in your body, your mind, your life, and your business will help you refine your goals and hasten you towards them. It will lead to lasting success in your journey to improved health, spirit, and well-being. InsBeCo
Yin and Yang of Happiness Balancing Acceptance and Achievement Being in harmony with what you have Yang Active, Creative Yin Passive, Receptive Creating new things and making a difference “ If you can find true contentment, it will last forever.” – Tao Te Ching © Vadim Kotelnikov "A well guarded mind brings happiness. Those who are free from all worldly desires will attain Nirvana. Never covet what others have. It is deadly sin which grows away from all happiness. Learn to be happy with what you have.“ – Buddha “ Happiness is a continuous creative activity.“ – Baba Amte InsBeCo
Yin and Yang of Achievement Balance Between Reflection and Action
- Master the technology of achievement
- Quiet your mind
- Take and maintain “a helicopter view” of the situation
- Think strategically, set your goals and milestones
- Listen and learn continuously
- Analyze, develop solutions
Yang Active, Creative Action Yin Passive, Receptive Reflection
- Motivate yourself
- Manage your attitude
- Think positively
- Create positive energy
- Take initiative
- Experiment
- Turn failures in opportunities
- Never give up
“ Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi © Vadim Kotelnikov InsBeCo
Yin and Yang of Influencing People Satisfying and Creating Needs
- Satisfying needs and desires
- Being interested in people
- Knowing people
- Understanding emotions
- Effective listening
- Observing people
- True compassion
- Creating needs and desires
- Managing attitude
- Establishing rapport
- Asking effective questions
- Persuading
- Leading and coaching
- Inspiring and energizing
"Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. To convince them, you must yourself believe." – Winston Churchill Yang Active, Creative Inside-Out Yin Passive, Receptive Outside-In © Vadim Kotelnikov InsBeCo
The Tao of Communication Balanced Exchanges Forms How? Purposes Why? © Vadim Kotelnikov InsBeCo Writing Reading Showing Watching Speaking Listening Yang Sending Yin Receiving Inspiring Being inspired Persuading Understanding Educating Learning Yang Sending Yin Receiving
Yin and Yang of Effective Listening Harmonize Passive and Active Listening
- Understand perceptions
- Listen to words
- Listen to body language
- Listen to emotions
Yang Active, Creative Active Listening Yin Passive, Receptive Passive Listening
- Encourage
- Ask questions
- Paraphrase
- Summarize
“ Allow your softer, more intuitive, and less dominating feminine qualities to rise to the fore, so that you're surrendering rather than dominating, receiving rather than broadcasting, loving rather than fighting.” – Lao Tzu © Vadim Kotelnikov InsBeCo
The Tao of Building Relationships Balancing Giving and Taking
- Listening
- Receiving help
- Asking for something
- Being understood
Yang Active, Creative Giving Yin Passive, Receptive Taking
- Telling
- Helping others
- Being there for people in need
- Understanding others
“ The weak and the tender overcome the hard and the strong. There is nothing softer and weaker than water, And yet there is nothing better for attacking hard and strong things.” – Lao Tzu "Think once before you give, twice before you take but a thousand times before you ask for something." – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach © Vadim Kotelnikov InsBeCo
Yin and Yang of Success Balancing Action and Reflection InsBeCo Creating success involves creating a delicate and ongoing balance between two somewhat opposing forces – reflection of where you are now and action of pushing toward where you need to go. This balance between reflection and action is the balance of Yin and Yang. Stumbling blocks to success include acting too often without a clear sense of direction or spending too much time reflecting without creating outcomes. Truly successful people developed the ability to move effortlessly and quickly from reflection to action and back again.
Yin and Yang of Success Inspirational Micro-course Thank You! Vadim Kotelnikov We don’t teach, we inspire! 1000ventures InsBeCo 1000advices success360 fun4biz Would you like to discover more? Click here! InsBeCo

YIN and YANG of PERSONAL SUCCESS

by Vadim Kotelnikov on Oct 09, 2009

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YIN and YANG of PERSONAL SUCCESS Presentation Transcript