WHY and HOW TO LISTEN: Effective Listening Rules, Techniques, Tips and Quotes

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    At Its Best Listening Involves: Not merely hearing the words, but really listening for the message Understanding the information Listening to how something is said Understanding the emotions and body language Feeding back to check your understanding Being empathic and nonjudgmental Listening actively: repeating key words, paraphrasing, encouraging, asking questions Seeing it from the person's viewpoint Listening to yourself, being aware of your own emotions 12 Rules of Effective Listening By: Geoff Nightingale Listen for ideas, not facts – ask yourself what they mean Judge content, not delivery, i.e. what they say, not how they say it Listen optimistically – don't lose interest straight away Do not jump to conclusions Be flexible, adjust your note-taking to the speaker Concentrate – don't start dreaming – and keep eye contact Do not think ahead of the speaker – you will lose track Work at listening – be alert and alive Keep emotions under control when listening Open your mind – practice accepting new information Breathe slowly and deeply Relax physically, get comfortable

    More Humorous Quotes “ I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects.” – Oscar Wilde "A bore is a person who talks when you wish him to listen." – Ambrose Bierce “ Only one fellow in ten thousand understands the currency question, and we meet him every day.” – Kin Hubbard “ If you can't say anything nice about a man, let's hear it.” – Unknown “ My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” – Jimmy Durante “ A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.” – Mark Twain “ One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.” – Oscar Wilde “ Say what you want and be who you are because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” – Dr. Seuss “ Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give, but dreadfully uneasy to take.” – Josh Billings “ No one so thoroughly appreciates the value of constructive criticism as the one who is giving it . ” – Arthur Robinson “ Never call a man fool; borrow from him.” – Addison Mizner “ A true friend stabs you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde “ Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards.” – Harold Coffin “ Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde “ We often forgive those who bore us, but we cannot forgive those whom we bore.” – La Rochefoucauld “ I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect .” – Oscar Wilde “ There may come a time when the lion and the lamb will lie down together, but I am still betting on the lion.” – Josh Billings

    To Listen Well You Must: Be able to hear what's being said Actively focus your attention on what's being said Understand and accept what's being said for what it is, independent of your feelings about it Evaluate what has been said Give feedback NLP Solutions: Engage All of Your Senses Most people simply listen to the words that are being said to them, but words contain only 10% of the message. The remaining 90% is hidden in the body language and the tone of voice. Understanding body language can help you look beyond what people say to what they really mean. To remember better what's being communicated to you, try to engage all your senses whilst listening as human brain stores pictures, feelings, smells and tastes more effectively than words. Understand you preferred mode of thinking, your mental map: whether you are a visual ('see' the world), auditory ('hear' the world), or a kinesthetic ('feel' the world). If you are a visual, when you're listening to someone, first of all make what they're are telling you into a movie. As brains remember better things that are out of the ordinary, you can try distorting pictures or making them funny. To enhance the effect, add sounds, link feelings to your movies, put the taste and smells in. And exaggerate everything. Benefits of Active Listening facilitates understanding and working with others to produce creative solutions and solve problems encourages speakers to keep communicating, to share more and go deeper promotes open relationships prompts your prospects to release their feelings more easily makes your prospects feel less controlled by you and less afraid of a negative response  

    "A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something." – Wilson Mizner   The Value of Listening "Listening broadens us, lays the groundwork for peace, elevates the quality of our relationships, and opens the way to success. If nothing else, when you listen, you'll find you are the most popular person in the room,“ says Linda Eve Diamond, the author of Rule#1: Stop Talking! – A Guide to Listening . When we can listen to others, we learn about ourselves and our capacities to do something good. When we are listened empathically, we feel honest respect and appreciation. In such an environment, conflicts are prevented and harmony flourishes. Establish an Empathic Connection People need to feel that they are really being heard. Listen carefully to your prospect to established an empathic connection with him or her. When appropriate, summarize back to your prospect what he or she was saying and feeling. Effective Listening Techniques Pretending ignorance or 'Socratic': Socrates pretended ignorance in order to encourage others to express their views fully Encouraging: Using various verbal and non-verbal means to encourage others to continue talking. Noting and reflecting emotions: Identifying and sorting out the other person feelings. Paraphrasing: Restating what the other person said in different words to allow him or her to confirm that you have understood what they I intended. Summarizing: Restating the conversation or a large part of it. Types of Listening Empathizing: Drawing out the speaker and getting information in a supportive, helpful way Analyzing: Seeking concrete information and trying to separate fact from emotion. Synthesizing: Proactively guiding the exchange towards an objective. Asking Effective Questions Know which questions to ask – it will help you get the right response.

    "A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something." – Wilson Mizner   The Value of Listening "Listening broadens us, lays the groundwork for peace, elevates the quality of our relationships, and opens the way to success. If nothing else, when you listen, you'll find you are the most popular person in the room,“ says Linda Eve Diamond, the author of Rule#1: Stop Talking! – A Guide to Listening . When we can listen to others, we learn about ourselves and our capacities to do something good. When we are listened empathically, we feel honest respect and appreciation. In such an environment, conflicts are prevented and harmony flourishes. Establish an Empathic Connection People need to feel that they are really being heard. Listen carefully to your prospect to established an empathic connection with him or her. When appropriate, summarize back to your prospect what he or she was saying and feeling. Effective Listening Techniques Pretending ignorance or 'Socratic': Socrates pretended ignorance in order to encourage others to express their views fully Encouraging: Using various verbal and non-verbal means to encourage others to continue talking. Noting and reflecting emotions: Identifying and sorting out the other person feelings. Paraphrasing: Restating what the other person said in different words to allow him or her to confirm that you have understood what they I intended. Summarizing: Restating the conversation or a large part of it. Types of Listening Empathizing: Drawing out the speaker and getting information in a supportive, helpful way Analyzing: Seeking concrete information and trying to separate fact from emotion. Synthesizing: Proactively guiding the exchange towards an objective. Asking Effective Questions Know which questions to ask – it will help you get the right response.

    "A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something." – Wilson Mizner   The Value of Listening "Listening broadens us, lays the groundwork for peace, elevates the quality of our relationships, and opens the way to success. If nothing else, when you listen, you'll find you are the most popular person in the room,“ says Linda Eve Diamond, the author of Rule#1: Stop Talking! – A Guide to Listening . When we can listen to others, we learn about ourselves and our capacities to do something good. When we are listened empathically, we feel honest respect and appreciation. In such an environment, conflicts are prevented and harmony flourishes. Establish an Empathic Connection People need to feel that they are really being heard. Listen carefully to your prospect to established an empathic connection with him or her. When appropriate, summarize back to your prospect what he or she was saying and feeling. Effective Listening Techniques Pretending ignorance or 'Socratic': Socrates pretended ignorance in order to encourage others to express their views fully Encouraging: Using various verbal and non-verbal means to encourage others to continue talking. Noting and reflecting emotions: Identifying and sorting out the other person feelings. Paraphrasing: Restating what the other person said in different words to allow him or her to confirm that you have understood what they I intended. Summarizing: Restating the conversation or a large part of it. Types of Listening Empathizing: Drawing out the speaker and getting information in a supportive, helpful way Analyzing: Seeking concrete information and trying to separate fact from emotion. Synthesizing: Proactively guiding the exchange towards an objective. Asking Effective Questions Know which questions to ask – it will help you get the right response.

    At Its Best Listening Involves: Not merely hearing the words, but really listening for the message Understanding the information Listening to how something is said Understanding the emotions and body language Feeding back to check your understanding Being empathic and nonjudgmental Listening actively: repeating key words, paraphrasing, encouraging, asking questions Seeing it from the person's viewpoint Listening to yourself, being aware of your own emotions 12 Rules of Effective Listening By: Geoff Nightingale Listen for ideas, not facts – ask yourself what they mean Judge content, not delivery, i.e. what they say, not how they say it Listen optimistically – don't lose interest straight away Do not jump to conclusions Be flexible, adjust your note-taking to the speaker Concentrate – don't start dreaming – and keep eye contact Do not think ahead of the speaker – you will lose track Work at listening – be alert and alive Keep emotions under control when listening Open your mind – practice accepting new information Breathe slowly and deeply Relax physically, get comfortable

    "A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something." – Wilson Mizner   The Value of Listening "Listening broadens us, lays the groundwork for peace, elevates the quality of our relationships, and opens the way to success. If nothing else, when you listen, you'll find you are the most popular person in the room,“ says Linda Eve Diamond, the author of Rule#1: Stop Talking! – A Guide to Listening . When we can listen to others, we learn about ourselves and our capacities to do something good. When we are listened empathically, we feel honest respect and appreciation. In such an environment, conflicts are prevented and harmony flourishes. Establish an Empathic Connection People need to feel that they are really being heard. Listen carefully to your prospect to established an empathic connection with him or her. When appropriate, summarize back to your prospect what he or she was saying and feeling. Effective Listening Techniques Pretending ignorance or 'Socratic': Socrates pretended ignorance in order to encourage others to express their views fully Encouraging: Using various verbal and non-verbal means to encourage others to continue talking. Noting and reflecting emotions: Identifying and sorting out the other person feelings. Paraphrasing: Restating what the other person said in different words to allow him or her to confirm that you have understood what they I intended. Summarizing: Restating the conversation or a large part of it. Types of Listening Empathizing: Drawing out the speaker and getting information in a supportive, helpful way Analyzing: Seeking concrete information and trying to separate fact from emotion. Synthesizing: Proactively guiding the exchange towards an objective. Asking Effective Questions Know which questions to ask – it will help you get the right response.

    What Is Active Listening? Active listening is a structured form of listening and responding that focuses the attention on the speaker and motivates both the speaker and the listener. Why Active Listening? Often when people talk to each other, they don't listen attentively or they don't show the speaker they're listening. They are often distracted, think about what they want to say or about something else. Such attitudes often result in misunderstanding, conflicts, and broken relationships. Active listening helps you avoid these problems, improve your communication skills and build stronger relationships. 12 Active Listening Tips Mentally put yourself in other person’s shoes. Keep the conversation on what the speaker says, not on what interests you. Spend more time listening than talking. Let the other speaker talk. Do not dominate the conversation and do not interrupt incessantly. Pay attention, never become preoccupied with your own thoughts when others talk, take brief notes to concentrate on what is being said. Do not finish the sentence of others. Ask questions, but do not answer questions with questions. Be aware of biases and perceptions. Control your biases and validate your assumptions. Encourage the speaker, provide feedback and paraphrase to show you are listening. Plan responses after the other person has finished speaking, not while they are speaking. Analyze by looking at all the relevant factors, ask clarifying and open-ended questions. Summarize – walk the person through your analysis.

    "A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something." – Wilson Mizner   The Value of Listening "Listening broadens us, lays the groundwork for peace, elevates the quality of our relationships, and opens the way to success. If nothing else, when you listen, you'll find you are the most popular person in the room,“ says Linda Eve Diamond, the author of Rule#1: Stop Talking! – A Guide to Listening . When we can listen to others, we learn about ourselves and our capacities to do something good. When we are listened empathically, we feel honest respect and appreciation. In such an environment, conflicts are prevented and harmony flourishes. Establish an Empathic Connection People need to feel that they are really being heard. Listen carefully to your prospect to established an empathic connection with him or her. When appropriate, summarize back to your prospect what he or she was saying and feeling. Effective Listening Techniques Pretending ignorance or 'Socratic': Socrates pretended ignorance in order to encourage others to express their views fully Encouraging: Using various verbal and non-verbal means to encourage others to continue talking. Noting and reflecting emotions: Identifying and sorting out the other person feelings. Paraphrasing: Restating what the other person said in different words to allow him or her to confirm that you have understood what they I intended. Summarizing: Restating the conversation or a large part of it. Types of Listening Empathizing: Drawing out the speaker and getting information in a supportive, helpful way Analyzing: Seeking concrete information and trying to separate fact from emotion. Synthesizing: Proactively guiding the exchange towards an objective. Asking Effective Questions Know which questions to ask – it will help you get the right response.

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    WHY and HOW TO LISTEN: Effective Listening Rules, Techniques, Tips and Quotes - Presentation Transcript

    1. Inspirational micro-course (10 slides) by Vadim Kotelnikov Founder Inspirational Business e-Coach We don’t teach, we inspire! 1000ventures InsBeCo 1000advices success360 fun4biz Why and How To Listen Effective Listening Rules , Techniques , and Tips
    2. I prefer to talk to people who are great: Speakers 18 % Listeners 8 2 % 82% of people prefer to talk to great listeners, not great speakers InsBeCo global polls « Advise !» Communication Source: InsBeCo global Internet polls InsBeCo
    3. Listening Quotes Wilson Mizner A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something. Peter Drucker The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. Linda Eve Diamond Listening broadens us, lays the groundwork for peace, elevates the quality of our relationships, and opens the way to success. If nothing else, when you listen, you'll find you are the most popular person in the room. Frank Tyger Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble. Jimi Hendrix Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. Melville Landon A bore is a man who spends so much time talking about himself that you can't talk about yourself.
    4. Yin and Yang of Effective Listening Harmonize Passive and Active Listening
      • Understand perceptions
      • Listen to words
      • Listen to body language
      • Listen to emotions
      Yang Active, Creative Active Listening Yin Passive, Receptive Passive Listening
      • Encourage
      • Ask questions
      • Paraphrase
      • Summarize
      “ Allow your softer, more intuitive, and less dominating feminine qualities to rise to the fore, so that you're surrendering rather than dominating, receiving rather than broadcasting, loving rather than fighting.” – Lao Tzu © Vadim Kotelnikov InsBeCo
    5. Barriers To Effective Listening InsBeCo
      • we "know" what we are going to hear
      • we judge delivery (how they say it), not content (what they say)
      • we are seeking confirmation, not information
      • what's being said is getting in the way of what needs be said
    6. To Listen Well You Must InsBeCo
      • Be able to hear what's being said
      • Actively focus your attention on what's being said
      • Understand and accept what's being said for what it is, independent of your feelings about it
      • Evaluate what has been said
      • Give feedback
    7. Three Types of Listening InsBeCo Proactively guiding the exchange towards an objective Synthesizing Seeking concrete information and trying to separate fact from emotion Analyzing Drawing out the speaker and getting information in a supportive, helpful way Empathizing
    8. Linda Eve Diamond’s Rule #1of Effective Listening Stop Talking! InsBeCo You can't multi-task speaking and listening. If you're talking, you're not listening. This rule also applies to the talking inside your head. If you're thinking intently about what you want to say, you're not listening to what is being said.
    9. Effective Listening Techniques InsBeCo Restate the conversation or a large part of it. Summarize Restate what the other person said in different words to allow him or her to confirm that you have understood what they intended Paraphrase Identifying and sorting out the other person feelings Note and reflect emotions Socrates pretended ignorance in order to encourage others to express their views fully Pretend ignorance Use various verbal and non-verbal means to encourage others to continue talking Encourage
    10. Active Listening Benefits and Techniques
      • Active Listening Techniques
      • Verbal
      • Encourage
      • Paraphrase
      • Repeat key words
      • Ask for clarifications
      • Summarize
      • Non-verbal
      • Express empathic emotions
      • Send body signal
      • Make eye contact
      • Allow the speaker time to think
      InsBeCo
      • It tends to open people up, to get them to say more.
      • It forces you to listen attentively to others.
      • It avoids misunderstandings, as you have to confirm that you do really understand what the speaker has said.
      Benefits of Active Listening
    11. InsBeCo Listening To Emotions Listen To What Is Not Said Be aware of your own emotions. Your feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, fear or happiness are often the first clue that your prospect is communicating an important emotional message. Listen to yourself You can be accepting and respectful of the person and their feelings and beliefs without invalidating or giving up your own position, or without agreeing with the accuracy and validity of their view. Be empathic and nonjudgmental Don’t concentrate so hard on what is said. Attitudes, and emotional reactions may be more important. Listen to how something is said
    12. Why and How To Listen Inspirational Micro-course Thank You! Vadim Kotelnikov We don’t teach, we inspire! 1000ventures InsBeCo 1000advices success360 fun4biz Would you like to discover more? Click here! InsBeCo

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