Master Your People Skills Effective Communication Building Relationships Influencing People Ten3 Micro-course Vadim Kotelnikov, Author & Founder Ten3 Business e-Coach Ten3 Business e-Coach The world’s leading source of inspiration, innovation, and unlimited growth! We help you change the World! 1000ventures.com We help you change the World!

Ten3 Business e-Coach The world’s leading source of inspiration, innovation, and unlimited growth! We help you change the World! 1000ventures.com We help you change the World! Friends & Family Fun Learning Environment Work Finance Health Achievement LOVE PERSONAL SUCCESS 360 (Ten3 Mini-course) This micro-course is a chapter from Ten3 Mini-course Personal Success 360 http://1000ventures.com/products/personal_success360.html

The Role of Your People Skills Success Secrets Your People Skills (85%) Your Knowledge (15%) Your financial success comes from: Some experts estimate that 15% of your financial success comes from your skills and knowledge, while 85% comes from your ability to connect with other people and engender trust and respect. More information at 1000ventures.com: “ People Skills ”

Map is not the Territory – Understand People’s Perceptions NLP Solutions: Effective Communication REALITY Your Mental Map of Reality Your Prospect’s Mental Map of Reality Beliefs Values Beliefs Values Believing is seeing "We see the things not as they are, but as we are." Area of Good Understanding – H.M.Tomlinson More information at 1000ventures.com: “ Effective Communication ” © Vadim Kotelnikov

Face-to-Face Communication The Way Your Message Is Conveyed Words (10%) Tone of voice (40%) Body language (50%) Five-Why Process In most situation, real problems and root causes are obscured by apparent problems. The intent of the "Five-Why" procedure is to assure that the route causes and not merely superficial symptoms are corrected. More information at 1000ventures.com: “ Face-to-face Communication ”

I prefer to talk to people who are great: Speakers 20% Listeners 80% Ten3 global polls « Advise !» Communication Source: Ten3 global Internet polls 1000ventures.com, 1000advices.com 80% of people prefer to talk to great listeners, not great speakers

Effective Listening "A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something." – Wilson Mizner More information at 1000ventures.com: “ Effective Listening ” Encouraging Pretending ignorance Noting and reflecting emotions Paraphrasing Summarizing . Effective Listening Techniques we "know" what we are going to hear; we judge delivery (how they say it), not content (what they say); we are seeking confirmation, not information; what's being said is getting in the way of what needs be said. Barriers to Effective Listening

Encouraging

Pretending ignorance

Noting and reflecting emotions

Paraphrasing

Summarizing .

we "know" what we are going to hear;

we judge delivery (how they say it), not content (what they say);

we are seeking confirmation, not information;

what's being said is getting in the way of what needs be said.

The Tao of Effective Listening Harmonizing Passive and Active Listening Understand perceptions Listen to words Listen to body language Listen to emotions Yang Active, Creative Active Listening Yin Passive, Receptive Passive Listening Encourage Ask questions Paraphrase Summarize “ Allow your softer, more intuitive, and less dominating feminine qualities to rise to the fore, so that you're surrendering rather than dominating, receiving rather than broadcasting, loving rather than fighting.” – Lao Tzu © Vadim Kotelnikov 1000ventures.com

Understand perceptions

Listen to words

Listen to body language

Listen to emotions

Encourage

Ask questions

Paraphrase

Summarize

Building Relationships A Short Course in Human Relations Author unknown More information at 1000ventures.com: “ Building Relationships ” "I" The least important word: "We" The one most important word: "Thank you." The two most important words: "If you please." The three most important words: "What is your opinion?" The four most important words: "You did a good job." The five most important words: "I admit I made a mistake." The six most important words:

The Tao of Building Relationships Balancing Giving and Taking Listening Receiving help Asking for something Being understood Yang Active, Creative Giving Yin Passive, Receptive Taking Telling Helping others Being there for people in need Understanding others “ The weak and the tender overcome the hard and the strong. There is nothing softer and weaker than water, And yet there is nothing better for attacking hard and strong things.” – Lao Tzu © Vadim Kotelnikov "Think once before you give, twice before you take but a thousand times before you ask for something." – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach More information at 1000ventures.com: “ Building Relationships ”

Listening

Receiving help

Asking for something

Being understood

Telling

Helping others

Being there for people in need

Understanding others

Rapport The Key to Influencing People, Including Yourself Rapport is a process of building a sustaining relationship of mutual trust, harmony and understanding. Below Surface beliefs values mental maps Body Language posture movement and gesture breathing Speech language content key words, predicates voice tone and quality Areas of Similarities Between People Who Are In Rapport It is essentially meeting individuals in their model of the world. Rapport is your ability to be on the same wavelength and to connect mentally and emotionally. 1000ventures.com

Below Surface

beliefs

values

mental maps

Body Language

posture

movement and gesture

breathing

Speech

language content

key words, predicates

voice tone and quality

The Tao of Influencing People Satisfying and Creating Needs © Vadim Kotelnikov Satisfying needs and desires Being interested in people Knowing people Understanding emotions Effective listening Observing people True compassion Creating needs and desires Managing attitude Establishing rapport Asking effective questions Persuading Leading and coaching Inspiring and energizing "Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. To convince them, you must yourself believe." – Winston Churchill Yang Active, Creative Inside-Out Yin Passive, Receptive Outside-In More information at 1000ventures.com: “ Influencing People ”

Satisfying needs and desires

Being interested in people

Knowing people

Understanding emotions

Effective listening

Observing people

True compassion

Creating needs and desires

Managing attitude

Establishing rapport

Asking effective questions

Persuading

Leading and coaching

Inspiring and energizing

How To Make Effective Presentations Focus On Your Audience More information at 1000ventures.com: “ Effective Presentations ” Focus on your audience, not yourself – tell them what they need to know, not all you know! The Way Audiences Receive Your Message Keep Your Audience Interested Make eye contact Use body language Show you're happy to be there Move around Don’t read notes, present Use visual-aids Vary your presentation modes Get the audience involved Be a good listener Be yourself Five-Why Process In most situation, real problems and root causes are obscured by apparent problems. The intent of the "Five-Why" procedure is to assure that the route causes and not merely superficial symptoms are corrected.

Keep Your Audience Interested

Make eye contact

Use body language

Show you're happy to be there

Move around

Don’t read notes, present

Use visual-aids

Vary your presentation modes

Get the audience involved

Be a good listener

Be yourself

The 10 Essentials of Effective Communication More information at 1000ventures.com: “ Effective Communication ” Listen carefully to all responses. 7 Be mindful of what you face and body are conveying nonverbally. 6 Think from your audience point of view. 5 Know exactly what you want to achieve. 3 Respect your audience and suspend judgments. 2 Find a way to get your audience to explain what they think you said. Discuss differences until you hear a satisfactory version of the message you wanted to convey. 10 Stay focused on what you want to achieve and don't get distracted. 9 Be willing to share what you know and hear what you don't know. 8 Think and organize before you proceed. 4 Know your audience and match your message to the audience. 1

NLP Solutions: Understanding Yourself & Others Mental Maps: Preferred Modes of Thinking The Visuals (“see” the world) Think by analyzing sounds Get more information from how you say things than from what you are saying Love to hear themselves and others talk The Kinethetics (“feel” the world) Three Groups of People and their Share in the Population 1000ventures.com Act on what they feel Get more information from touch, emotions, gut instincts, and hunches Love to touch people and things The Auditories (“hear” the world) Think by making pictures in their mind Able to understand something much better if they see it Appearance is very important These are preferred modes of thinking, not exclusive ones Visuals (35%) Kinethetics (40%) Auditories (25%)

Think by analyzing sounds

Get more information from how you say things than from what you are saying

Love to hear themselves and others talk

Act on what they feel

Get more information from touch, emotions, gut instincts, and hunches

Love to touch people and things

Think by making pictures in their mind

Able to understand something much better if they see it

Appearance is very important

Effective Negotiating Nine Principles 1000ventures.com Source: "Getting to Yes", by Fisher, R, and Urey. W., the Harvard Negotiation Project Admit, when appropriate, the validity of the other party's arguments 9 Avoid ultimatums and other forms of non-negotiable demands 8 Avoid use of personal opinions in arguments 7 Present arguments calmly, without personalization, and make sure they are logically supported 6 Summarize frequently: this enhances understanding 5 Avoid deadlines, lessening the chance for needless concessions 4 Avoid presenting too many issues, highlight the strongest ones 3 Utilize "human factors" and be open about feelings and motives: this will enhance trust 2 Set the tone early, offset any bad rumors, be candid 1

Effective External and Internal Conflict Resolution A 10-Step Yoga Approach Adapted from: “ Ten-Step Guideline for Resolving Inner and Outer Conflict ”, Rama Vernon More information at 1000ventures.com: “ Conflict Resolution ” Remember God or "Higher Self" 10 Study the l ives & w ritings of i nspirational r ole m odels 9 Develop e quanimity 8 Cultivate c ontentment and s erenity 7 Purify motives 6 Regulate the s enses to avoid self-indulgence 5 Assume an a ttitude of n on- p ossessiveness 4 Develop n on- c ovetousness (n on -e nvy ) 3 Express t ruthfulness 2 Practice n on- v iolence 1

NLP Solutions: Perceptual Positions Increasing Your Effectiveness in Relating to Others SELF OBSERVER OTHER – the other person’s reality, how it would look, sound and feel if you were THEM. – how the situation appear to someone who is not involved. Watch both parties interact and understand without experiencing either person’s emotions. – your own reality, how you see, hear and feel about the situation in terms of what matters to YOU. Situation More information at 1000ventures.com: “ Perceptual Positions ”

Win-Win Mindset A Synergy of Your Three Character Traits An Abundance Mentality – this is a world of plenty and there is enough for everybody 1000ventures.com WIN-WIN Mindset Maturity – th e balance between courage and consideration Integrity – keeping promises and treating everyone by the same set of principles

Thank you Master Your People Skills Effective Communication Building Relationships Influencing People Ten3 Micro-course Ten3 Business e-Coach The world’s leading source of inspiration, innovation, and unlimited growth! We help you change the World! Vadim Kotelnikov Author & Founder Ten3 Business e-Coach THANK YOU! 1000ventures.com We help you change the World! This micro-course is a chapter from Ten3 Mini-course Personal Success 360 http://1000ventures.com/products/personal_success360.html