Training Objective: How you can better cope, interact with, deal with, and survive Difficult People in your daily encounters.
The Core Rules for Dealingwith Difficult People.
Rule #1 in Dealing with DP Don’t take DP personally. DP are equal opportunity annoyers.
Rule #2 in Dealing with DP Don’t try to change DP; it usually won’t work. You can only change the way you react to DP.
Rule #2 in Dealing with DP Don’t try to change DP; it usually won’t work. You can only change the way you react to DP. “Managing Behaviors v. Fixing People.”
Rule #3 in Dealing with DP The system (not you) needs to work at removing difficult people.
Rule #4 in Dealing with DP Don’t let difficult people suck you in or change you.(Don’t fight back, retaliate or try to beat DP at their own game. They’ve been practicing their whole life; you’re a lowly amateur.)
Rule #5 in Dealing with DP Don’t try to merely appease DP. (DP will keep coming back for more; change the way you react to DP and your life will be better)
A Basic Strategy for Dealing with DP1. Start out by examining yourself.2. Explore what you are experiencing with a trusted friend or colleague.3. Approach the DP for a private discussion using an “I” message.4. It’s okay to confront the DP publicly.5. Be direct but use the right tone.6. Listen for interests not issues.
A Basic Strategy for Dealing with DP1. Deal with the issues and interests; not with changing the person.2. Competitive people: treat the situation as a sport (“win-win”).3. Avoiders and Compromisers: treat the situation as an exercise in self-improvement.4. It’s ok to test!5. Learn from your experiences!
Dealing with Specific Types of Difficult People
“Accept what you can’t change.”“Try to understand these fallible humans.” --Albert Ellis
“ As novices, we think we’re entirely responsible for the way people treat us. I have long since learned that we are only responsible for the way we treat people.”—Rose Lane“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” —Lao-tzu