fix bullets
ensure quote marks
fix builds
Chinese Proverbs
terry chay
PHP|tek 2009, Closing Keynote
2009-05-23T11:30-0500

How it begins...
look up what the chinese
invented first
maybe some images of
each

CIO Magazine

WTF is a CIO?

Title of CIO Magazine
article

programmatic total loss to
% of business
inefficiency business
Enterprise 10% 1% 0.1%
Web 10% 100% 10%

You’re Fired!
Rails Developer Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer
RailsRails Developer Rails Developer
Developer Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer Rails Developer
Rails Developer Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer Rails Developer
Rails Developer Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer Rails Developer
Rails Developer

not good enough to be good at
your job

Problems

The World is Flat

They say if you repeat [Terry
Chay]’s name out loud six times
before a mirror in a darkened
room all your commit messages
are replaced with profanity.
—Paul Reinheimer

The World is Flat
Actually it’s the opposite…
The World is Spiky.

If someone tells you that you are one
in a billion, there are a thousand
people just like you in China
—Ancient Chinese Proverb
Confucius (551 BC – 479 BC)

Our economy in a
single word…

The economy

Chinese are scary
feeling of awe
harsh conditions
rain-drenched, sun stroke
15 hours a day tai-chi
no time for pee breaks
outsourcing (New York Times,
December 9, 2005)

The first person whose job needs to
be outsource is the manager that
made the outsourcing decision in the
first place. Someone in India can
make that same decision at a fraction
of the price
—Ancient Chinese Proverb
Zhuangzi (4th century BC)

4-Hour WorkWeek
Add graphic for arbitrage
Add quote about what an
ahole timothy ferriss is

graphic for rails book
traffic graph, them vs. me
Rails book

Ed Finkler

it’s not about being good enough
find out how manyThe people in the summer games are really good at what they do (all 2008 of
performers in the games
them)
the only thing that separates you from them is you

Opportunity

Web market share
PHP Everything else
Chris Shiflett story
4 million PHP developers (zend)
40%
60%

PHP rock/hard place
Front end: Ajax eliminates templates
Memcache eliminates Database bottleneck (Ahmdahl’s Law)

Security NIST NVD 2006
php applications
6604 total entries php applications (remote file inclusion)
non-php
php language
2803 PHP-application
895 remote file inclusion related 28.9%
(allow_url_fopen)
~33 PHP language related
57.1%
13.6%
0.5%

Tim Bray on PHP…
Whenever I use PHP, I think…

“If you want soul destroying, try
working in porn.”
—Ancient Chinese Proverb
Laozi (6th century B.C.)

Recession = Opportunity

Recession
Churn is the opportunity
We need to create real value
The difference between you and the thousand Chinese just like you is you.

Mythical Man-
Month
Software as Construction
vs… other models

Make the slide and builds
First consider something like
painting a fence: everything is
partionable (man-month).
…add a constant time for
training.
…add communication cost:
n(n-1)/2.
Compare to the unpartionable
(single man)
Adding people to a late project
makes it later!
partionable
+training
+communication
unpartionable

Solutions

high-concept, high-touch

Design (Dieter Rams@Braun)
innovated (not copied)
useful (optimize utility)
aesthetic (inspires)
understood (self-explanatory)
unobtrusive (tools, not decorations)
honest (don’t manipulate)
durable (not trendy, no waste)
thorough (to details)

How PHP is different
Scalable
Cheap
Pragmatic

get elephant images
PHP Community (Star War)

Who do you want to be?

“Coding these web apps
involves a lot of swearing—a lot
of blood, sweat, and swear.”
—terry chay
tychay@php.net
http://terrychay.com/blog

“Fuck this shit”
—Sun Tzu
(722–481 BC)
fuck thsi shit, other quote
person