Chinese Proverbs—PHP|tek

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A PDF version of my slidedeck for the closing keynote at PHP|tek titled "Chinese Proverbs" and given at PHP|tek Chicago in May 2009.

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Chinese Proverbs—PHP|tek

  1. 1. fix bullets ensure quote marks fix builds Chinese Proverbs terry chay PHP|tek 2009, Closing Keynote 2009-05-23T11:30-0500
  2. 2. How it begins... look up what the chinese invented first maybe some images of each
  3. 3. CIO Magazine
  4. 4. WTF is a CIO?
  5. 5. Title of CIO Magazine article
  6. 6. programmatic total loss to % of business inefficiency business Enterprise 10% 1% 0.1% Web 10% 100% 10%
  7. 7. You’re Fired! Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer RailsRails Developer Rails Developer Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer Rails Developer
  8. 8. not good enough to be good at your job
  9. 9. Problems
  10. 10. The World is Flat
  11. 11. They say if you repeat [Terry Chay]’s name out loud six times before a mirror in a darkened room all your commit messages are replaced with profanity. —Paul Reinheimer
  12. 12. The World is Flat Actually it’s the opposite… The World is Spiky.
  13. 13. If someone tells you that you are one in a billion, there are a thousand people just like you in China —Ancient Chinese Proverb Confucius (551 BC – 479 BC)
  14. 14. Our economy in a single word…
  15. 15. The economy
  16. 16. Chinese are scary feeling of awe harsh conditions rain-drenched, sun stroke 15 hours a day tai-chi no time for pee breaks outsourcing (New York Times, December 9, 2005)
  17. 17. The first person whose job needs to be outsource is the manager that made the outsourcing decision in the first place. Someone in India can make that same decision at a fraction of the price —Ancient Chinese Proverb Zhuangzi (4th century BC)
  18. 18. 4-Hour WorkWeek Add graphic for arbitrage Add quote about what an ahole timothy ferriss is
  19. 19. graphic for rails book traffic graph, them vs. me Rails book
  20. 20. Ed Finkler
  21. 21. it’s not about being good enough find out how manyThe people in the summer games are really good at what they do (all 2008 of performers in the games them) the only thing that separates you from them is you
  22. 22. Opportunity
  23. 23. Web market share PHP Everything else Chris Shiflett story 4 million PHP developers (zend) 40% 60%
  24. 24. PHP rock/hard place Front end: Ajax eliminates templates Memcache eliminates Database bottleneck (Ahmdahl’s Law)
  25. 25. Security NIST NVD 2006 php applications 6604 total entries php applications (remote file inclusion) non-php php language 2803 PHP-application 895 remote file inclusion related 28.9% (allow_url_fopen) ~33 PHP language related 57.1% 13.6% 0.5%
  26. 26. Tim Bray on PHP… Whenever I use PHP, I think…
  27. 27. “If you want soul destroying, try working in porn.” —Ancient Chinese Proverb Laozi (6th century B.C.)
  28. 28. Recession = Opportunity
  29. 29. Recession Churn is the opportunity We need to create real value The difference between you and the thousand Chinese just like you is you.
  30. 30. Mythical Man- Month Software as Construction vs… other models
  31. 31. Make the slide and builds First consider something like painting a fence: everything is partionable (man-month). …add a constant time for training. …add communication cost: n(n-1)/2. Compare to the unpartionable (single man) Adding people to a late project makes it later! partionable +training +communication unpartionable
  32. 32. Solutions
  33. 33. high-concept, high-touch
  34. 34. Design (Dieter Rams@Braun) innovated (not copied) useful (optimize utility) aesthetic (inspires) understood (self-explanatory) unobtrusive (tools, not decorations) honest (don’t manipulate) durable (not trendy, no waste) thorough (to details)
  35. 35. How PHP is different Scalable Cheap Pragmatic
  36. 36. get elephant images PHP Community (Star War)
  37. 37. Who do you want to be?
  38. 38. “Coding these web apps involves a lot of swearing—a lot of blood, sweat, and swear.” —terry chay tychay@php.net http://terrychay.com/blog
  39. 39. “Fuck this shit” —Sun Tzu (722–481 BC) fuck thsi shit, other quote person

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