Managing Conflict and Arguing After an Affair - 3 Steps to Preserve Your Marriage
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Managing Conflict and Arguing After an Affair - 3 Steps to Preserve Your Marriage

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Managing conflict and arguing after an affair is a key component to recovering from infidelity in your marriage. Emotions are running a muck, the offended spouse is hurt and upset, while the cheating ...

Managing conflict and arguing after an affair is a key component to recovering from infidelity in your marriage. Emotions are running a muck, the offended spouse is hurt and upset, while the cheating spouse often is defensive and sometimes even rebellious. In this article, we will show you three steps to keep your conflicts from escalating to the point of being destructive.

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    Managing Conflict and Arguing After an Affair - 3 Steps to Preserve Your Marriage Managing Conflict and Arguing After an Affair - 3 Steps to Preserve Your Marriage Presentation Transcript

    • Managing Conflict and Arguing After an Affair - 3 Steps to Preserve Your Marriage http://www.marriage-sherpa.info Managing conflict and arguing after an affair is a key component to recovering from infidelity in your marriage. Emotions are running a muck, the offended spouse is hurt and upset, while the cheating spouse often is defensive and sometimes even rebellious. In this article, we will show you three steps to keep your conflicts from escalating to the point of being destructive.
    • With or without an affair involved, anytime two people spend significant time together, especially over an extended period, there are bound be to disagreements. That is only human nature and arguments do occur. There are times when arguing can be good, but also can be bad and very damaging.
    • With or without an affair involved, anytime two people spend significant time together, especially over an extended period, there are bound be to disagreements. That is only human nature and arguments do occur. There are times when arguing can be good, but also can be bad and very damaging. Do You and Your Spouse Control Your Conflicts, or Do They Control You? If you are reading this, you and your spouse have most likely had arguments that you have felt have gone too far and perhaps one or both of you said things you wish you could take back and never would have said in a rational state.
    • With or without an affair involved, anytime two people spend significant time together, especially over an extended period, there are bound be to disagreements. That is only human nature and arguments do occur. There are times when arguing can be good, but also can be bad and very damaging. Do You and Your Spouse Control Your Conflicts, or Do They Control You? If you are reading this, you and your spouse have most likely had arguments that you have felt have gone too far and perhaps one or both of you said things you wish you could take back and never would have said in a rational state. In a marriage, some arguing is actually a good thing. It means that you care about the relationship. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t waste your time having the argument in the first place.
    • But you need to evaluate how arguments go in your own example. Do they escalate to name calling? Does one or both of you use disrespectful and/or unsavory language? If so, than this is a possible marriage problem sign. Your conflicts are crossing a line and you need to put a halt to this.
    • But you need to evaluate how arguments go in your own example. Do they escalate to name calling? Does one or both of you use disrespectful and/or unsavory language? If so, than this is a possible marriage problem sign. Your conflicts are crossing a line and you need to put a halt to this. Managing Your Conflicts As a human being, you cannot help how you feel, but you can indeed control how you conduct yourself when those feelings occur. Feelings tend to include issues and beliefs that you feel strongly about. Your expression of these feelings requires a certain set of skills you will want to employ to ensure your conflicts do not escalate to unhealthy levels and lead to marriage problems.
    • Step 1: You Need to Accept That as a Couple There Will Be Disagreements If you feel very strongly about an issue, it would be unreasonable to expect you to just pack it away and ignore those feelings or simply wait and hope that they go away. Frankly, bottling up your emotions generally does more harm than good.
    • Step 1: You Need to Accept That as a Couple There Will Be Disagreements If you feel very strongly about an issue, it would be unreasonable to expect you to just pack it away and ignore those feelings or simply wait and hope that they go away. Frankly, bottling up your emotions generally does more harm than good. When you and your spouse are in disagreement on an issue, even if it is major, it does not mean your marriage or relationship has to become damaged because of it. You did not marry your clone, so accept that you going to have differing points of view from time to time.
    • Step 2: Put the Brakes on a Heated Discussion When you feel a conversation starting to escalate and head towards a heated argument, you need to take a breath and step back. I know, sometimes it may feel like that is easier said than done. It does require discipline, but you can master it. Simply acknowledge to your spouse that this is an issue that requires further discussion, but you want to pause it for now, as you feel it is becoming too heated.
    • Step 2: Put the Brakes on a Heated Discussion When you feel a conversation starting to escalate and head towards a heated argument, you need to take a breath and step back. I know, sometimes it may feel like that is easier said than done. It does require discipline, but you can master it. Simply acknowledge to your spouse that this is an issue that requires further discussion, but you want to pause it for now, as you feel it is becoming too heated. When you master this discipline, you will find that the simple act of acknowledging to your spouse verbally that there is indeed an issue to discuss can help to take some of the venom out of a conflict.
    • Step 3: You and Your Spouse Need to Agree to Focus on the Specific Conflict Issue at Hand How many times have you been caught up in an argument with your spouse, and the next thing you know, one of you says something to the effect of: “ Like that time when your mother made the comment about me losing my job, and you never said anything to her afterwards about it…” “ But, that was in 1994!”
    • Step 3: You and Your Spouse Need to Agree to Focus on the Specific Conflict Issue at Hand How many times have you been caught up in an argument with your spouse, and the next thing you know, one of you says something to the effect of: “ Like that time when your mother made the comment about me losing my job, and you never said anything to her afterwards about it…” “ But, that was in 1994!” Sometimes today’s conflict can drag into it issues that fester from the past. If this is a pattern that you have been noticing in your arguments, you and your spouse must agree to focus on the issue at hand and not dig up old issues to use as weapons during a conflict. Be firm and simply state that you are going to discuss the current issue and nothing else.
    • Taylor Ranidae is passionate about love and relationships and writes articles focusing on helping people save their relationships and marriages. Her articles are a must read for anyone who is looking to either salvage or further enhance their relationship. Managing conflict and arguing after an affair is just one component in the process of repairing your marriage. To restore the trust and save your marriage from divorce, start by downloading this FREE 21 STEP GUIDE from renowned expert Dr. Frank Gunzburg. Click here now for instant access: http://saving-relationships.com/marriage-sherpa.html .