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How to Forgive After an Affair - Here is a Method You May Not Be Aware of
 

How to Forgive After an Affair - Here is a Method You May Not Be Aware of

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It is not always easy to figure out how to forgive after an affair. The pain and suffering you feel when a spouse has been unfaithful is devastating and not something to easily overcome. You may be ...

It is not always easy to figure out how to forgive after an affair. The pain and suffering you feel when a spouse has been unfaithful is devastating and not something to easily overcome. You may be wondering if forgiving an affair is indeed a necessary step in repairing your relationship.

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    How to Forgive After an Affair - Here is a Method You May Not Be Aware of How to Forgive After an Affair - Here is a Method You May Not Be Aware of Presentation Transcript

    • How to Forgive After an Affair - Here is a Method You May Not Be Aware of http://www.saving-relationships.comIt is not always easy to figure out how to forgive after an affair. The pain andsuffering you feel when a spouse has been unfaithful is devastating and notsomething to easily overcome. You may be wondering if forgiving an affair is indeed anecessary step in repairing your relationship.
    • An angle that many men or women who have experienced infidelity do not realize isthat forgiveness often times is more for your own benefit than for that of yourcheating spouse. You may want to read that sentence again.
    • An angle that many men or women who have experienced infidelity do not realize isthat forgiveness often times is more for your own benefit than for that of yourcheating spouse. You may want to read that sentence again.The stress and mental anguish that often accompanies a spouse’s affair can manifestitself in physical ways. In fact, the longer your anguish persists, the more damagingthe effects can be.
    • An angle that many men or women who have experienced infidelity do not realize isthat forgiveness often times is more for your own benefit than for that of yourcheating spouse. You may want to read that sentence again.The stress and mental anguish that often accompanies a spouse’s affair can manifestitself in physical ways. In fact, the longer your anguish persists, the more damagingthe effects can be.When you experience stress, the body releases powerful chemicals that are indeedessential to your survival in highly stressful situations. But the longer they areproduced, the more harmful they become to you and your body will suffer the effects.High blood pressure is just one of many examples. From a psychological standpoint,depression is often a common development.
    • But you may be reading this and saying to yourself that you just don’t think you canget yourself to forgive your spouse for what they did. You simply do not know howyou could get yourself to forgive after an affair.
    • But you may be reading this and saying to yourself that you just don’t think you canget yourself to forgive your spouse for what they did. You simply do not know howyou could get yourself to forgive after an affair.Quite honestly, maybe your spouse does not deserve to be forgiven at this time. But,as I stated earlier, forgiveness is often times more for your benefit than for yourspouse and for your own well being you must come to terms with it in some fashion.
    • But you may be reading this and saying to yourself that you just don’t think you canget yourself to forgive your spouse for what they did. You simply do not know howyou could get yourself to forgive after an affair.Quite honestly, maybe your spouse does not deserve to be forgiven at this time. But,as I stated earlier, forgiveness is often times more for your benefit than for yourspouse and for your own well being you must come to terms with it in some fashion.So let’s look at a method that will help you as opposed to simply outright forgivingthem and help to get you back on the right track and indeed improve your overallhealth and mindset.
    • Acceptance: An Alternative to Help Escape from the TurmoilIn his book, How to Survive an Affair, Dr. Frank Gunzburg introduces an alternative toforgiveness that he calls acceptance. Essentially, this means coming to terms with thatwhich you cannot change. You can’t change the reality of your spouse’s affair nomatter how much you may want to. But you can accept this awful past so you canmove on toward a brighter future, and doing so may diminish your stress levels agreat deal.
    • Acceptance: An Alternative to Help Escape from the TurmoilIn his book, How to Survive an Affair, Dr. Frank Gunzburg introduces an alternative toforgiveness that he calls acceptance. Essentially, this means coming to terms with thatwhich you cannot change. You can’t change the reality of your spouse’s affair nomatter how much you may want to. But you can accept this awful past so you canmove on toward a brighter future, and doing so may diminish your stress levels agreat deal.To use this method to help you through your current state, here are a few steps to getyou started:
    • 1. Name Your PainWhen you are ready to move forward and restore your well being and indeed leave behind the negative and unhealthy feelings, one of the first steps you can take is to actually name the emotions you are feeling. This is a way to acknowledge and identify exactly how and what you are feeling at this time.
    • 1. Name Your PainWhen you are ready to move forward and restore your well being and indeed leave behind the negative and unhealthy feelings, one of the first steps you can take is to actually name the emotions you are feeling. This is a way to acknowledge and identify exactly how and what you are feeling at this time.Ask yourself what thoughts or feelings are tormenting you? Are you feeling anger? Disappointment? Despair? Jealousy? What thoughts are directed towards your spouse and what visual plays through your mind when they do?
    • 2. Process Your EmotionsOnce you have identified the emotions you are feeling, you need to process them. Tothis point, you have probably been suppressing them and stuffing them away. Youneed to address them and come to terms to help your own well being. Here are a fewtechniques that will help you do just that:
    • 1. Breathe Take a few minutes to breathe deeply. Focus on the air coming into your body and think about what it feels like as it passes through your nostrils. As you exhale, let go of all the tension in your body and say the word “relax” to yourself. This technique alone can have a very positive impact on your health.
    • 1. Breathe Take a few minutes to breathe deeply. Focus on the air coming into your body and think about what it feels like as it passes through your nostrils. As you exhale, let go of all the tension in your body and say the word “relax” to yourself. This technique alone can have a very positive impact on your health.2. Distract Yourself If you can’t breathe through your emotions, distract yourself from them. Brooding tends to amplify negative feelings. Try taking a time out from life. You might go for a jog, go see a funny movie, or take a long, hot bath.
    • 1. Breathe Take a few minutes to breathe deeply. Focus on the air coming into your body and think about what it feels like as it passes through your nostrils. As you exhale, let go of all the tension in your body and say the word “relax” to yourself. This technique alone can have a very positive impact on your health.2. Distract Yourself If you can’t breathe through your emotions, distract yourself from them. Brooding tends to amplify negative feelings. Try taking a time out from life. You might go for a jog, go see a funny movie, or take a long, hot bath.3. Talk it out with a Friend If you can’t rely on your spouse, you may be able to talk to a trusted friend instead. Getting your emotions off your chest this way can be a big advantage.
    • 3. Accept When You are ReadyThe process of acceptance does not necessarily have a timeline attached to it. You willcome to terms with these emotions as you are ready to do so. This generally occursonce you have a firm understanding of what emotions you are feeling and realize justhow they are affecting you.
    • 3. Accept When You are ReadyThe process of acceptance does not necessarily have a timeline attached to it. You willcome to terms with these emotions as you are ready to do so. This generally occursonce you have a firm understanding of what emotions you are feeling and realize justhow they are affecting you.As you work through the affair and it starts to move to the back of your mind, youmay feel yourself moving toward acceptance. Don’t block this progress because youthink you “should” still feel bad about the affair. Do what is right for you and yourmarriage, and only you can know what that is.
    • If you are not sure just how to forgive after an affair, then acceptance may be theanswer for you. However, this is just one very small step to repairing the damagedone. To restore yourself, rebuild the trust, and save your marriage from divorce Istrongly recommend for you to download this 7‐Part course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg.Click here now for instant access Taylor Ranidae is passionate about love and relationships and writes articles focusing on helping people save their relationships and marriages. Her articles are a must read for anyone who is looking to either salvage or further enhance their relationship.