Coping With an Affair - Why Did My Spouse Cheat on Me?                       http://www.saving-relationships.comWhen copin...
If you are coping with the discovery that your spouse had an affair, it is perfectlynatural to be grasping for some sort o...
If you are coping with the discovery that your spouse had an affair, it is perfectlynatural to be grasping for some sort o...
One of the biggest challenges the victim of an affair faces is getting an understandingof why their spouse made the decisi...
One of the biggest challenges the victim of an affair faces is getting an understandingof why their spouse made the decisi...
The bottom line is your spouse made the decision to cheat. A conscious decision tobreak your trust and faith that you had ...
The bottom line is your spouse made the decision to cheat. A conscious decision tobreak your trust and faith that you had ...
1) Don’t Press for Details Too SoonIf you just recently learned of the affair, I will caution you that asking for details ...
2) Journal Post-Affair EmotionsWhatever you do, you do not want to bottle up the emotions you are dealing withwhen coping ...
It is truly a difficult time with you are coping with an affair, and these are just a coupleof steps to help. However, to ...
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Coping With an Affair - Why Did My Spouse Cheat on Me?

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When coping with an affair, a common question that you may be asking yourself is “Why?” Or perhaps, “How could you do that to me?” Whatever the question may be, if you are reading this, you are most likely looking for answers.

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Coping With an Affair - Why Did My Spouse Cheat on Me?

  1. 1. Coping With an Affair - Why Did My Spouse Cheat on Me? http://www.saving-relationships.comWhen coping with an affair, a common question that you may be asking yourself is“Why?” Or perhaps, “How could you do that to me?” Whatever the question may be, ifyou are reading this, you are most likely looking for answers.
  2. 2. If you are coping with the discovery that your spouse had an affair, it is perfectlynatural to be grasping for some sort of understanding of why your spouse cheated onyou. You are, no doubt, hoping to find some sort of explanation and you can find atleast some semblance of peace.
  3. 3. If you are coping with the discovery that your spouse had an affair, it is perfectlynatural to be grasping for some sort of understanding of why your spouse cheated onyou. You are, no doubt, hoping to find some sort of explanation and you can find atleast some semblance of peace.Affair victims tend to have an enormous load of emotions to grapple with afterdiscovering that their spouse cheated on them. It can be all-consuming and take up avast amount of energy and lead to all sorts of mental gymnastics, making it hard tofunction in their everyday life.
  4. 4. One of the biggest challenges the victim of an affair faces is getting an understandingof why their spouse made the decision to cheat. Sometimes the answer is not sosatisfying as one would like it to be, but it is indeed a simple one. Your spouse has acharacter flaw.
  5. 5. One of the biggest challenges the victim of an affair faces is getting an understandingof why their spouse made the decision to cheat. Sometimes the answer is not sosatisfying as one would like it to be, but it is indeed a simple one. Your spouse has acharacter flaw.At times, that answer can be a bit controversial. Can it really be as simple as that?Often affair victims will ask, “How can it not be something I was doing wrong?” or“What did I do that drove them to seek out someone else?” And although you mayhave indeed contributed to your relationship not being as strong as it could be, it isNOT your fault that your spouse had an affair.
  6. 6. The bottom line is your spouse made the decision to cheat. A conscious decision tobreak your trust and faith that you had in them. The simple fact is that we all havecharacter flaws. But one where the gift of trust is thrown back in the face of the giveris one that seems exceptionally bad, because it causes such immense pain andsuffering on the part of the person who gave the gift.
  7. 7. The bottom line is your spouse made the decision to cheat. A conscious decision tobreak your trust and faith that you had in them. The simple fact is that we all havecharacter flaws. But one where the gift of trust is thrown back in the face of the giveris one that seems exceptionally bad, because it causes such immense pain andsuffering on the part of the person who gave the gift.While this answer may not always be completely satisfying to some, there are acouple of ways I may suggest to help you as you are coping with an affair:
  8. 8. 1) Don’t Press for Details Too SoonIf you just recently learned of the affair, I will caution you that asking for details of theaffair from your spouse can do you more harm than good. Often victims of an affairthink that knowing all of the specifics of the conversations, meetings, and feelings thattook place would somehow purge them of the emotional pain they are burdenedwith.I am here to tell you it won’t. Your focus early on needs to be on healing first. If youfeel there are questions that you need answered down the road, then at that pointyou can weigh the pros and cons of having that knowledge. But right after learning ofthe affair is not the time.
  9. 9. 2) Journal Post-Affair EmotionsWhatever you do, you do not want to bottle up the emotions you are dealing withwhen coping with an affair. You have got to release them and let them drain from you.One very effective means for doing this is through daily journaling.Write down everything you are feeling or thinking, with no judgments. It doesn’tmatter if you use a notebook, loose-leaf paper, a computer program: the point is tohave a safe haven to go to and let this stuff out.Journaling can also help you sort out what you’re feeling. You may notice commonthemes, or particular sticking points that you are struggling to get past. A journal canhelp guide you on next steps as you cope with the affair.
  10. 10. It is truly a difficult time with you are coping with an affair, and these are just a coupleof steps to help. However, to fully restore yourself and your marriage, I stronglyrecommend for you to download this FREE course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg. Click herenow for instant access. Taylor Ranidae is passionate about love and relationships and writes articles focusing on helping people save their relationships and marriages. Her articles are a must read for anyone who is looking to either salvage or further enhance their relationship.

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