When Your Partner is Your Partner

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Presentation given at SXSW 2007 by me and my wife, Dori Smith, about the ways that we've managed to learn to balance our personal and professional collaborations.

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  • DORI/TOM
  • TOM
  • TOM

    DORI
    Every relationship, personal and professional, has both heaven and hell.
    In learning how to do it better, we found that others were also doing it
  • DORI
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • TOM
    •Here’s a little background on what we do.
    •Work together on some projects, alone on others.
    •Been together for 13 years, been working together 10 years, and married 5 years.
    •We've raised a son who is now a freshman in college.
    •After our own experience, and speaking with others in same situation, we’ve found that there are 3 areas that are critical to being successful, and we’re going to touch on each one:
    oRoles and Responsibilities
    oWorkstyle
    oBoundaries and Balance
  • When Your Partner is Your Partner

    1. 1. When Your Partner is Your Partner Dori Smith and Tom Negrino
    2. 2. • Flickr • Hesketh.com • Six Apart • TidBITS • Ranchero • Carson Systems Software • …and us.
    3. 3. Roles & Responsibilities
    4. 4. Inside / Outside
    5. 5. Inside / Outside • Set ground rules
    6. 6. Inside / Outside •Set ground rules • Who does what?
    7. 7. Inside / Outside •Set ground rules • Who does what? • Splitting income/expenses
    8. 8. Inside / Outside •Set ground rules • Who does what? • Splitting income/expenses • Decide on the credit
    9. 9. Inside / Outside
    10. 10. Inside / Outside • Working with clients
    11. 11. Inside / Outside •Working with clients • Who's the contact
    12. 12. Inside / Outside •Working with clients • Who's the contact • Project manager
    13. 13. Inside / Outside •Working with clients • Who's the contact • Project manager • Play to strengths
    14. 14. Working Out the Workstyle
    15. 15. Our work styles
    16. 16. Our work styles • Dori: Silence is golden
    17. 17. Our work styles • Dori: Silence is golden • Tom: Plays that funky music
    18. 18. Our work styles • Dori: Silence is golden • Tom: Plays that funky music • Tom: Writes with voice recognition
    19. 19. Our work styles • Dori: Silence is golden • Tom: Plays that funky music • Tom: Writes with voice recognition • Dori: Damn you, code!
    20. 20. The solution
    21. 21. The solution Tom's Office Dori's Office
    22. 22. • Working differently isn't working wrong
    23. 23. • Working differently isn't working wrong • Collaboration tools
    24. 24. • Working differently isn't working wrong • Collaboration tools • Now Up to Date, Google Calendar
    25. 25. • Working differently isn't working wrong • Collaboration tools • Now Up to Date, Google Calendar • iChat, Adium
    26. 26. • Working differently isn't working wrong • Collaboration tools • Now Up to Date, Google Calendar • iChat, Adium • SubEthaEdit
    27. 27. • Working differently isn't working wrong • Collaboration tools • Now Up to Date, Google Calendar • iChat, Adium • SubEthaEdit • FTP to share documents
    28. 28. • Working differently isn't working wrong • Collaboration tools • Now Up to Date, Google Calendar • iChat, Adium • SubEthaEdit • FTP to share documents • Google Docs
    29. 29. Boundaries & Balance
    30. 30. Separation without anxiety
    31. 31. Separation without anxiety • Office phones don't ring in the house
    32. 32. Separation without anxiety • Office phones don't ring in the house • No email in the house
    33. 33. Separation without anxiety • Office phones don't ring in the house • No email in the house • Set business time
    34. 34. Separation without anxiety • Office phones don't ring in the house • No email in the house • Set business time • "The Rule of Ten"
    35. 35. Separation without anxiety • Office phones don't ring in the house • No email in the house • Set business time • "The Rule of Ten" • No business talk in the bedroom
    36. 36. Separation without anxiety • Office phones don't ring in the house • No email in the house • Set business time • "The Rule of Ten" • No business talk in the bedroom • Stop working, darn it! Make the "us" time.
    37. 37. Personal Couple Me Together Alone Work: Us Work: Me Professional
    38. 38. How do you keep from killing each other?
    39. 39. Practice… Practice… Practice!
    40. 40. It's worth it.
    41. 41. Thanks for being here. Got questions? not.marriage.counselors@gmail.com Our blog: backupbrain.com

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