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  • Crucial ConversationsWhat makes them crucial?Being persuasiveNOT being abrasiveOur “Usual” Communication ResponsesPhysiologicalEmotionalSocialDeveloping a Leader’s VoiceData, Emotion, and Symbols
  • Why are FACTS important?Where can it go wrong?Some facts obscure the truthSome facts are difficult to believe (even if true)Some facts are falseSome facts get twistedSome facts get white-washedSome facts get interpreted differentlySome facts can be ignored
  • Use numbers to tell a GREAT storyFacts aren’t boring … but you might beMake facts memorableMake facts stick through humorDisplay facts visuallyFACTS provide underpinning of logic to a messageUSE THEM to create a compelling, memorable story of what the facts MEAN
  • New CEO on the day before he takes over the reigns of a company, advice received from his predecessor:Tomorrow, two things will be true tomorrow that are not true today. First, you will be CEO. Second, you’ve heard the truth for the last time.Colin Powell upon becoming Secretary of State in the Bush administration stated that unless they STRIVE to become open and collaborative they will become isolated. “Prepare to be lonely”, he told his colleagues. Does our leadership communication feel more like a Comedy or a Tragedy???
  • Psychologists agree there is a basic set of emotions universal to all mankind, although they can’t agree on the exact set … love, hope, sadness, anger, happiness – just like primary colors – are part of a leaders’ palate. WHY?Feelings – the universal nature of feelings reminds us of our basic role in life, human beingsPower – Leaders need to appeal to our ‘best selves’, our most noble desires – leaders help us find our powerEncouragement – we all want to believe that we count, that we matter, that our work matters, and that we contribute. Hope/Optimism – Optimism is a key ingredient in success for all industriesEnergy – any style of leadership that isn’t boring is probably a good styleEmpathy – understanding the emotions of an individual or group, being understoodHumor – what does humor do with others? Creates ties, gain approval, manage stress, etc.
  • What are symbols?Logos, brands, slogans, theme songs, parables, metaphors, legends, word pictures, mottosEverything from Nike’s “Swoosh” to McDonald’s “Golden Arches” as brand emblemsColors – like the National Geographic yellow border to the brown of UPSStylized letters or textACTIVITY: Right now, try to identify at least 5 symbols
  • All, Bubblicious, Campbell's, Dawn, Eggo, Fritos, Gatorade, Hebrew National, Icee, Jell-O, Kool-Aid, Lysol, M&Ms, Nilla, Oreo, Pez, Q-Tip, Reese's, Starburst, Tide, Uncle Bens, V8, Wisk, Xtra, York, and Zest
  • Symbols are AS POWERFUL as the emotion or action it portraysSymbols fuse logic and emotion together in a person’s mindSymbols are a communication ‘short-cut’ that do the ‘heavy lifting’ for both the sender AND receiverSymbols convey mutual meaning and understanding

Transcript

  • 1. Speak Up, Speak Out:Be Persuasive, Not Abrasive, on Topics that Matter
    Tara Kuipers, MSNW Area Community Development Educator
  • 2. Our Agenda
    Understanding Our Crucial Conversations
    Considering Our Usual Response
    Developing a Leader’s Voice
  • 3. Understanding Our Crucial Conversations
  • 4. What makes a conversation “CRUCIAL”?
    Strong Emotions
    Varied Opinions
    High
    Stakes
  • 5. Persuasive or Abrasive?
    These conversations can feel like a verbal ‘tug-of-war’ … that no one wins.
  • 6. What happens during these conversations?
  • 7. Considering Our Usual Response
  • 8. How do we take in information?
  • 9. How does this go wrong?
  • 10. Climbing a Ladder Of Communication
  • 11. The Ladder of Inference
    Actions
    Believe
    Conclusion
    Assume
    Add Meaning
    Filter
    Observe
  • 12. Ladder of Inference - An Example
    I’m going to quit sharing information with Jack and encourage others to do the same.
    Jack is unreliable and doesn’t care about this project.
    Jack is always late.
    I remember Jack being late to other meetings too.
    Jack walked in to our 7 am meeting at 7:45 am.
  • 13. Developing ALeader’s Voice
  • 14. When we communicate, we hope our hearers will…
    Understand
    Agree
    Care
    Take Appropriate Action
  • 15. The Brain and Communication “Channels”
  • 16. The 3 Communication “Channels”:
    FACTS
    SYMBOLS
    EMOTIONS
  • 17. FACTS
    “We worship at the ‘altar of data’…”
    “Facts alone seldom persuade and rarely inspire.”
  • 18. FACTS: Telling the Story
  • 19. EMOTIONS
    “We follow leaders because of how they make use feel …
    …yet the very process of becoming a leader creates emotional distance.”
  • 20. EMOTIONS: Creating a Connection
  • 21. SYMBOLS
    “…symbols are the shortcuts to the great truths that guide our lives.”
    “If a leader does not define brand, vision, or strategy symbolically, constituents will.”
  • 22.
  • 23. SYMBOLS: Make Shared Meaning
  • 24. FACTS, EMOTIONS, AND SYMBOLS…
    What happens when a piece is missing?
  • 25. FACTS, EMOTIONS, & SYMBOLS…
    What happens when a piece is missing?
    Lack of Understanding
    Lack of Agreement
    Lack of Caring
    Lack of Appropriate Action
  • 26. Putting it All Together:
    TOOLS TO HELP US
    SPEAK UP & SPEAK OUT
  • 27. #1: Get A Grip
    Tools for your Crucial Conversations
  • 28. #2: Slow Down
    Tools for your Crucial Conversations
  • 29. #3: Collect Your Thoughts
    Tools for your Crucial Conversations
  • 30. #4: Get Organized
    Tools for your Crucial Conversations
  • 31. #5: Don’t Forget To End
    Tools for your Crucial Conversations
  • 32. Speak Up, Speak Out:Be Persuasive, Not Abrasive, on Topics that Matter
    Tara Kuipers, MSNW Area Community Development Educator