Speak Up, Speak Out:Be Persuasive, Not Abrasive, on Topics that Matter
Tara Kuipers, MSNW Area Community Development Educator
Our Agenda Understanding Our Crucial Conversations Considering Our Usual Response Developing a Leader’s Voice
Understanding Our Crucial Conversations
What makes a conversation “CRUCIAL”? Strong Emotions Varied Opinions High Stakes
Persuasive or Abrasive? These conversations can feel like a verbal ‘tug-of-war’ … that no one wins.
What happens during these conversations?
Considering Our Usual Response
How do we take in information?
How does this go wrong?
Climbing a Ladder Of Communication
The Ladder of Inference Actions Believe Conclusion Assume Add Meaning Filter Observe
Ladder of Inference - An Example I’m going to quit sharing information with Jack and encourage others to do the same. Jack is unreliable and doesn’t care about this project. Jack is always late. I remember Jack being late to other meetings too. Jack walked in to our 7 am meeting at 7:45 am.
Developing ALeader’s Voice
When we communicate, we hope our hearers will… Understand Agree Care Take Appropriate Action
The Brain and Communication “Channels”
The 3 Communication “Channels”: FACTS SYMBOLS EMOTIONS
FACTS “We worship at the ‘altar of data’…” “Facts alone seldom persuade and rarely inspire.”
FACTS: Telling the Story
EMOTIONS “We follow leaders because of how they make use feel … …yet the very process of becoming a leader creates emotional distance.”
EMOTIONS: Creating a Connection
SYMBOLS “…symbols are the shortcuts to the great truths that guide our lives.” “If a leader does not define brand, vision, or strategy symbolically, constituents will.”
SYMBOLS: Make Shared Meaning
FACTS, EMOTIONS, AND SYMBOLS… What happens when a piece is missing?
FACTS, EMOTIONS, & SYMBOLS… What happens when a piece is missing? Lack of Understanding Lack of Agreement Lack of Caring Lack of Appropriate Action
Putting it All Together: TOOLS TO HELP US SPEAK UP & SPEAK OUT
#1: Get A Grip Tools for your Crucial Conversations
#2: Slow Down Tools for your Crucial Conversations
#3: Collect Your Thoughts Tools for your Crucial Conversations
#4: Get Organized Tools for your Crucial Conversations
#5: Don’t Forget To End Tools for your Crucial Conversations
Speak Up, Speak Out:Be Persuasive, Not Abrasive, on Topics that Matter Tara Kuipers, MSNW Area Community Development Educator