1. Introducing Rudimentary Details Of Tao of Badass
While searching th internet for shitty dating advice, I happened on a review of dating book
called The Tao of Badass, whch m potentially be terrible enough t feature on thi blog
someday. For now, though, th installation simply on the hilarious review of th book, but in th
future I’m planning on writing abut an article I found on the Tao’s website about passing
woman’s congruence test (seriously, it’s ridiculous). I feel lik I’ve stumbled int a special cess
pool f th internet thrugh finding thi book review, nd th deeper I go, th more gloriously shitty
advice I find.
The pitch:
So mabe you’re skeptical abut ths dating book fr men which assures readers that it’ll teach
them hw to get hot, sexy babes t date them http://www.xing.com/topics/de/the-tao-of-badass-
review-dont-buy-yet-read-this-first-52425 (and more importantly, sleep wth them). Don’t
worry, though, thi review immediately appeals t man’s desperate desire t fuck hot women nd
the sad reality of thi desire:
If you’re a typical young man, yu rbably r dissatisfied wth ur current sex life. Do n of thee
statements describe you?
You have crush n girl nd h h friend zoned ou or sh doesn’t vn know that u exist.
You don’t have much sex wth attractive women.
Most girls ar nt interested in you.
You’re not satisfied wth the quality f ur sex life nd ou want t date hotter or more women.
Let m guess, you prbbl agreed wth at lat one f the statements.
I’m a woman, so I can’t rll speak to this, but do mot guys relly feel ths crippling insecurity nd
experience n abysmal lack f anything sexual that doesn’t involve thr wn hand? And Jesus
MOST girls aren’t interested in u AND u don’t hve muh sex with attractive women? Double
whammy.
After pouring salt n the wound tht s deflated penises everywhere, the reviewer give hope!
Men, you’ve bn taught Flickr.com ll wrong (as w have read before). Why the fuck r you beng
nice t women? Don’t you know we nl want jackasses?
Young men ll ver hv grown up bng taught that th need t be romantic, nice, and non-
threatening. In reality, this approach falls flat in ts face.-- Women wnt confident man who s not
afraid to lead nd b sexually aggressive. The average nice guy expects the women to make
the move. If the average nice guy do make move, t is done awkwardly and in a desperate
manner.
Just read n f our blog posts on th Crossfire r Fifty Shades series to know that women wnt
sexually aggressive men. This guy hs point! If you’re nice guy, there’s no way u an

2. confidentially hit on woman. Haven’t you heard of mutual exclusivity? Duh-doy.
But how can u escape th cycle of awkward-lame-guyness?
The Tao f Badass claims tht it cn hlp teach u how to meet and attract women. The product
covers all aspects f an interaction, from approaching th girl, to kissing her, nd t taking th
interaction t the bedroom. This product includes verthing yu ned t go frm a virgin who’s nvr
touched a girl to guy who h a massive number of options in dating.
He fails to mention that women are brainless dopes wh can’t tell whn a man isn’t bng hs
genuine elf and is followng om guide frm dude who calls hmslf th Tao of Badass. We dumb,
y’all! You’ll notice “all aspects of interaction” ends wth gettng the girl to the bedroom, becus
that’s it! Mission successful! Your penis hs officially bem the key to our vagina.
Major selling points of the book:
If the reviewer’s sweeping generalizations abut men’s sex lives (or lack thereof) and hs sharp
observations bout wht women wnt aren’t nugh to convince folks t buy th book, thn it’s time to
bring out the big guns. What n th Tao and hs badassery offer readers? Examples include
“How to bem confident,” “How to Approach Girls and Get Them t Approach You,” and “How
to Get Girl to Like You By Building Attraction.” I guess yu don’t jut build attraction by havng
genuine connection and chemistry but insted by follwing a strict guide on when t touch hr nd
whn to be a dick?
The product ges ovr aspect f creating attraction, frm hw t hold eye contact t what ou shuld sy
in conversation.
Conversations also follow a strict script, jut in case yu wre worried bout hvng to thnk f ur wn
things to say.
But doe it work????
Well, it fucking des is ll I hv to say. Here’s th evidence:
Here’s what I did. I called friend f mine, for privacy purposes let’s call him Mike.
Because f he called him Brian or Kyle we uld hv easily figured ut wh he was. Well played, sir.
I’ve known Mike fr 4 years, nd he ha onl dated n girl durng the time we’ve knwn ech other.
She wa unattractive and bitchy, dfintely nt girlfriend material.
Fuck tht ugly, rude bitch! If nly Mike hd ome sort of guidance, this kind f thing never wuld hav

3. happened to the poor guy.
Mike got friend zoned by mt of th girls he knew. Basically Mike hd a non-existent dating life.
I didn’t sign u for this, u guys Yahoo.com. This s fucking emotional. Miiiiiike! NooOoOoo!
Please, God, tell me The Tao helped him or I’ll nver blv you exist.
I decided to download a copy of th Tao f Badass and send it to Mike. I told Mike that I wuld
give hm 100$ [author's note: wh the fuck is the dollar sign after the money? seriously! I ddn't
put tht there!] if he follwd th program to the word for whol week. I wnt ut with him t a bar to
watch hw he usd the material. The first night, h ud the Tao f Badass t approach a fw girls. He
wa chatting t one gorgeous blonde who absolutely loved Mike and his new-found confidence.
Mike tk her number. Mike called me u 4 days later. He told me tht h nd h had gone n date
wth that girl nd he hd slept with her. He and th girl were nw dating.