People are full of verbal and non-verbal, intended, accidental messages.
The words we say are only the tip of the ice-berg – 7 to 30% of our messages.
The volume and tone of voice we use, the degree of eye contact we make, the tilt of our head – all help the receiver to interpret our words and take meaning from them.
Basic Two
The way we being our message often determines the outcomes of the communication.
If we are not careful our first few words can cause to turn out or to reject our message.
Basic Three
The way the message is delivered always affects the way the message is received.
How we say something is often more important then what we say.
People use a variety of senses to listen to and interpret our messages.
Basic Four
The real communication is message received not the message intended.
It is very easy for a message to be received in a far different way than we expected.
Basic Five
Communication is a two way street we have to give as well as gather.
We need to hear the other person’s point of view clearly.
Listen Listen Listen
The Chinese character for listen pronounced thing, is made of four characters; the heart, the mind, the ears and the eyes.
With high-quality listening we can understand peoples intensions, aspirations and fears.
Paraphrasing meanings – This allows you to check your understanding and it encourages the speaker to continue.
Reflecting feelings – If someone is expressing emotion or feelings convey your empathy.
Reflecting facts.
Ask the Right Questions People make comparisons everyday words like better, worse, easier better than what ? Worse than what? General Questions
Listening
To gather good information genuinely attend to what the speaker is saying, feeling and meaning. We do this with our eyes, ears, hearts & minds.
There are four ways to checkout what the speaker has said :
Paraphrase it by putting it in your words
Ask more questions to uncover more details
Summarise your understanding
If somebody gives opinions ask what facts they base them on
If feelings are missing we can ask how they feel about the topic
Choose positive words Don’t be Negative Be Positive I can’t do this until Monday I will be able to do this on Monday You don’t understand this Let me explain this one more time What is your problem How can I help you Problem Issue It is okay It is greet
Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem is how we feel about ourselves.
Our opinion of ourselves critically influences everything from our performance at work, our relationships and our role as students, workers, friends etc.,
Self-Esteem
Watch your thoughts, they become words
Watch your words; they become actions
Watch your actions they become habits
Watch your habits; they become character
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny
Raise your Self-Esteem
Do you think you are a valuable person?
Our level of self-esteem reflects our feelings of self-respect.
People with high self-esteem feel comfortable and confident/ They are able to communicate clearly
Our self-esteem is our constant companion, guiding our thoughts, our actions and our communications.
Tips to raise your self-esteem
Instead of blaming others, take responsibility for being happy, achieving your goals.
Instead of focusing on your facults think positive thoughts and feelings that build your confidence.
Associate with people who have high self-esteem and who make you feel good about yourself.
Instead of living in the future or the past live in the present.
Instead of focusing on your failures, acknowledge and celebrate your achievements.
Commitment
An integral part of a good value system is commitment.
Commitment is not like an enforceable legal contract.
It acts as glue that bonds relationships.
Commitment to friendship implies maintaining confidentiality.
Commitment to marriage implies fidelity .
Commitment to decency implies staying away from vulgarity
Commitment to job implies integrity.
Commitment to patriotism implies sacrifice.
By three methods we learn wisdom. The first is by Reflection, which is noblest
The second is by imitation which is easiest
The third is by experience which is bitterest
Some factors that prevent positive relationship
Selfishness
Lack of courtesy
Not meeting commitments
Lack of honesty
Lack of listening
Suspicious nature
Unwillingness to accept the truth, Inconsistency
Lack of Compassion cruelty courtesy is a sign of weakness
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