Crucial Conversations In Social Media

Slide 1: Crucial Conversations In Social Media The truth you should know about the art of conversation today Kelsey Ruger // Pop Labs Got Social Media 2008

Slide 2: I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you Neo - The Matrix

Slide 3: How Does The Matrix fit with Social Media?

Slide 4: The Matrix offers an excellent allegory for our highly COMMERCIALIZED, MEDIA DRIVEN society. Industrialization Standardization Depersonalization Today’s business world isn’t that different than the world of STRUCTURE and CONTROL created by the machines in the Matrix.

Slide 5: Social Media offers a great OPPORTUNITY for businesses to reconnect with people. if they realize that business today is not necessarily REPRESENTATIVE of REAL WORLD desires.

Slide 6: Markets are conversations. The Cluetrain Manifesto

Slide 7: e oes th What d on on versati word c rea lly mea n? Markets are conversations. The Cluetrain Manifesto e ’tw a ren ving W hy a t h ns? Wha od a tio t ar go rsa e th nve bas e co con ics of vers atio How n? can w impro e ve ev eryda conve y rsatio n?

Slide 8: Your company can have Engaging Conversations with employees and clients

Slide 9: you must understand the FOUR ways communicating with MARKETS has CHANGED

Slide 10: MARKET IDEA No 1 Technology has given us power. The time of the the passive masses has passed.

Slide 11: MARKET IDEA No 2 We live in an attention economy. Lots of people are talking but not everyone is actively listening.

Slide 12: MARKET IDEA No 3 New ways of communicating inside and outside organizations don’t exactly mesh with the ‘corporate norm’

Slide 13: MARKET IDEA No 4 We don’t want to be ‘talked at’ but rather ‘talked to’

Slide 14: Why Conversation and Social Media?

Slide 15: Conversation is a FUNDAMENTAL part of being HUMAN. For centuries COMMERCE was largely based on conversation and the INTERACTION BETWEEN PEOPLE.

Slide 16: ‘‘ ‘‘ The human condition changes, yet never changes. The fears, hopes and desires of a Babylonian 5,000 years ago probably closely matches our own fears, hopes and desires.

Slide 17: Because companies have not evolved... commerce has been effectively divorced from people the on whom it depends

Slide 18: Social media tools don’t make the CONVERSATION they support it. By understanding how social media support the HUMAN DESIRE for CONVERSATION businesses can open up vibrant INTERACTIONS with INDIVIDUALS and COMMUNITIES.

Slide 19: The Matrix was about the struggle between man and machine but it parallels some of the struggles that are emerging between many businesses and consumers.

Slide 20: What is a Conversation?

Slide 21: What is a Crucial Conversation?

Slide 22: When a crucial conversation occurs you have THREE choices ...

Slide 23: avoid the conversation, and suffer the consequences.

Slide 24: handle the conversation poorly and suffer the consequences

Slide 25: discover how to communicate best when it matters most.

Slide 26: Why are Crucial Conversations so important?

Slide 27: We benefit from more ACCURATE and RELEVANT information Make BETTER CHOICES, and are more WILLING TO ACT on whatever decision they all make.

Slide 28: The nature of conversation and verbal exchange is surprisingly ENDURING even across culture and time...

Slide 30: So are there real RIGHTS and WRONGS in conversation? Cicero thought so...

Slide 31: Cicero wrote the essay “On Duties” in 44BC. In it he set forth the following rules, which all could still apply today and even to the latest form of blogging “conversations”... 1. Speak clearly 2. Speak easily, but not too much, give others their turn 3. Do not interrupt 4. Be courteous 5. Deal seriously with serious matters, gracefully with lighter ones 6. Never criticize people behind their backs 7. Stick to subjects of general interests 8. Do not talk about yourself 9. Never lose your temper

Slide 32: Why Do We Suck At Crucial Conversations?

Slide 33: Do you work in a Command and Control Environment? Conversations are where INTELLECTUAL CAPITAL gets generated, but conversations flourish only in an atmosphere of FREE and OPEN exchange.

Slide 34: Does n dialo o pe ur g tak re D oes yo prece denc e the dialo g ge e zat ion wa e ove Ar of organi ? deba te? r l s ine cross s? internal wars a en t a rtm d ep If you can't GET YOURSELF RIGHT you'll have a Do dem peopl and e hard time getting conversations right. inst resp ead of e ect resp arn ect ing ? e l eb op and Do p n pe nt eople Ca pare hout pract s wit ice ac an ? tive tr ful cified listen truth cru ing sk ills? g b ein

Slide 35: We live is a CULTURE OF CONFLICT where winning is everything.

Slide 37: Most people when in an argument don't have a goal of LISTENING, instead we use every possible tactic to win. The ARGUMENT CULTURE urges us to approach the world and the people in it with an adversarial frame of mind.

Slide 38: Most people when in an argument don't have a goal of LISTENING, instead we use every possible tactic to win. The ARGUMENT CULTURE urges us to approach the world and the people in it with an adversarial frame of mind. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLPuGuaZTx8

Slide 39: The Forgotten Art of Dialog The key to successful conversation is being open and honest in expressing opinions, feelings, and theories, and having a willingness to share views even when the ideas in question are controversial or unpopular.

Slide 40: Critique and Criticism are not the same thing. critique in this sense is not a general term for analysis or critical review but rather a synonym for criticism.

Slide 41: 3 Practices to Start Your Conversations

Slide 42: PRACTICE 1: Get to know who you are talking to.

Slide 43: PRACTICE 2: Listening is more important than talking

Slide 44: PRACTICE 3: If you’re going to be talking - have something important to say.

Slide 45: There are SIX stories you need to master ...

Slide 46: I just met you Who Are You anyway? The first question people ask themselves the minute they realize you want to influence them is "who is this person". A story helps them see what you want them to see about you. If you demonstrate who you are, rather than tell me who you are, it is much more believable. A story lets you demonstrate who you are. “Why Am I” story - The Story Factor

Slide 47: What does this person Want From Me? Before you let someone know what's in it for them, they want to know what's in it for you. It's a big mistake to try to hide selfish goals. This type of story usually reveals enough for people to make a distinction between healthy ambition and dishonest exploitation. If your goals are selfish, people don't mind as long as you are up-front about it, there is something in it for them, and you frame your goals in a way that makes sense to them. “Why Are I Here” story - The Story Factor

Slide 48: OK, so What’s in it for Me? If your listeners are comfortable with who your are and why you are here, then they are ready to listen to what you think is in it for them. You have to take the time to find a story of your vision that that connects with people clearly. “Vision” story - The Story Factor

Slide 49: OK, so What Do You Stand For? Without a doubt the best way tell people your values in by demonstration. The second best way is by telling a story. Story lets you instill values in a want that keeps people thinking for themselves. “Values in Action” story - The Story Factor

Slide 50: How Did You Know What I Was Thinking? When you tell a story that makes people wonder if you are reading their minds, they love it. It isn’t hard to do. If you have done your homework on the group you wish to influence it’s easy to identify their objections. “I Know What You Are Thinking” story - The Story

Slide 51: What Are My Next Steps? 1. Listen, Look and Learn. 2. Start Having Real Conversations.

Slide 52: Kelsey Ruger http://www.themoleskin.com