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Chapter 5.3: Magic and Mayhem
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Chapter 5.3: Magic and Mayhem

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Chapter 5.3 of The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy

Chapter 5.3 of The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy

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Chapter 5.3: Magic and Mayhem Chapter 5.3: Magic and Mayhem Presentation Transcript

  • Welcome to Chapter 5.3 of The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy, the legacy where the lines of who's really in control are not just crossed, but sprinted over! Before we rejoin the Chandlers, we have a little bit of catching up to do with the Simselves...
  • "Great to be home again, isn't it, Spike?" "Not too sure about that, luv. I could have done with more time in bed, if ya know what I mean." "Spike!" "Just doing my job as the token lecherous non-vampire here." "*sigh* You're forgiven."
  • "Fire! You're back! How was the trip!" "Great! Sorry about running out on you guys like that." "Hey, it's fine. Big white weddings aren't for everyone. Where's Spike?" "He's, erm, coming."
  • "Don't you dare laugh." "Wouldn't - *snort* - dream of it." "You're laughing!" "Bahahaha! Guess you CAN get burned by the sun!" "Lucy, be nice to my new husband or I'll get out Rodney's Death Creator." "Fine. *giggle* You guys better pack your stuff again." "Why?" "We're moving."
  • "We're what?" I made you guys a new Simself HQ. Consider it as a mass wedding present. "Not bad, RealFire."
  • You like it? "Love it. And the new clothes and makeover aren't bad either." Sort of a new look to bring in Generation Six. "IF you ever get them out of college and IF Veronica doesn't kill Rin." Well. Yes.
  • "Well, better get started with the recap, yes?" Good plan. "Okeydokey."
  • "Last time, the poisonous Veronica Smith wormed her way into the heart of our cheerful spare, Matt Chandler." They're like second cousins or something. Very squicky.
  • "But Tempe intervened, and introduced Matt to his soulmate. Who kicked the crap out of Veronica." Jolly good show.
  • "Our heir, Rin, managed to go on hepas of dates, one of which culminated in her being attacked by a mad vampire." Which was rectified immediately.
  • "And lastly, we got our first glimpse of the mysterious and familiar Commander, who is the brains behind Vanessa/Veronica's takeover attempt." Right. Thanks for the recap. On with the show!
  • "Nessa! You're back! I was getting worried!" "I'm okay Rin. I just needed... some... space. Yes. Space." "I'm sorry that Matt found the love of his life while you were in the room." "Could we not talk about that?" "Sure. Sure."
  • Naive girl. She actually believes I felt something for her pathetic brother. Now I just need to win her trust so I can send her to her doom. Hmm. I must be inventive. She'll never fall for a cowplant. Perhaps poison? A rigged microwave? Evil. Evil evil evil.
  • Getting close to her won't be a problem, it seems.
  • "So what did you get for question five?" "Well, first I... Um, Rin?" "Yeah Ness... oh. Karen? Would you mind leaving the room please? I don't think Nessa's quite comfortable with you around." "Whatevs." "Thanks."
  • "Hey. Carrot-Top." "What - OW!"
  • "If you think you've won this fight, you're wrong. You might not be my target, but you're going to be the first locked in with Gladys when I take over. Will you take the quick, painless death, or suffer in pride and die in an agony of starvation?" "Get away from me, weirdo!" "Weird, am I? Well, I'll show you!"
  • Put the knife down, Veronica. "...I'm just making omelettes." Oh. Sorry. Can't blame me for being jumpy. "Not really. But I prefer more devious means of murder. Such as strangulation." How is that devious? "Well, it isn't. But it's satisfying."
  • "Dearest Corinna, you are like the sun at dawn in your brilliance and beauty." "Steven, you're so sweet." "Shall we go on a date? Tonight?" "Sure. I'll call you. Where to?" "Red's?" You must be one of their top customers by now, Rin. "Getting there."
  • Wow. Nice dress, Rin. "Yeah. I wanted something special. I want to tell Steven about the whole Romance Sim thing." This could get... ugly. "Nothing a few smoochies won't fix."
  • "So. I haven't been exactly exclusive with you, Steve. I'm sorry, but I just can't settle for one guy. It's who I am." "Rin, it's okay. I knew from the start what I was getting into. I mean, you're a Romance Sim. I've read enough stories to know what to expect." "So... you're fine with all this?" "To a point. Don't go kissing other guys in front of me, mkay?" "Okay."
  • "Wow, Steve, you're just so... understanding." "Well, any guy would be after a bit of very hot photobooth WooHoo." "Thanks. Really."
  • "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a vampire to threaten." "Can I watch?" "If you must."
  • "Hello, Contessa." "Do you mind, dearie? I'm eating here." "I'm just passing on an unfriendly warning. If you bite me, or any of my family, without their permission, I will hunt you down and hand you over to the Simselves as a pet." "You wouldn't." "I would. Consider yourself warned."
  • Clearing the air with Steve hasn't stopped you, has it? "Um, no? The whole point of that conversation was to make sure I could do this more often." Lovely, Rin. I'm sure Steven will appreciate it. "Yay!" You're as dense as Holly. Saaaaaarrrrrrrrcaaaaasmmmmm. "Oh."
  • RIN! "What? This one's cute, even by your standards." That's not the point. "Fire, back off. I have a LTW to fulfil and men to pick to father my kids. Give me a little space here."
  • "Corinna, my love, you are like the sun shining upon me. My life was blackest night before I found you." You found yourself an eloquent one. "I think it's sweet. But if he compares me to a summer's day, I may have to deck him."
  • "Makeover time! Bowlcuts are so... well, they were never very fashionable. Let's fix that, shall we?" "Are you going to take very much off?" "We-ell, I'm not sure. I've only used this thing a couple of times..." "Is it too late to opt out of this exercise?" "Sweetie, whatever I do to you can't possibly be as bad as that 'do."
  • "It's wonderful. Thank you, dearest." "Aww, you're so sweet... *surreptitiously checks wrist* Big Exam Tomorrow." "Sorry?" "Uh, sorry. Wrong wri... I mean, I'm just reminding myself by saying it out loud." "It's written on your wrist." "Oh, silly me. See, I forget things so easily..."
  • Black hair again, Rin? "Yeah, the black regrowth in the red dye was annoying me. But I've put pink in it now!" Won't the regrowth look worse? "...No. It will not. I will make it so."
  • Matt? "Mgarafire?" You're graduating soon. You may want to pop the question to Karen soon. "Grrphwfhwillsoonmmgrunch." If Tempe catches you with that pizza, you're a gonner. "Mrgghnotgonnacatchmephhhmg."
  • "Karen, from the moment I saw you, I knew you were my One. The one I was meant to set aside my philandering for and spend my whole life with. Please, marry me." "Oh, Matt..."
  • "Of course I will! You're my One, too!"
  • "Smoochums!" "Cuddle Bug!" Okay, break it up. Matt's got some graduatin' to do.
  • And so the first Generation Five child (finally) leaves college. One down... several to go. "Two. Not counting Vanessa who's the placeholder, and Karen, who's dropping out." Who's... what?
  • "Hello? I'd like to formally drop out of college, please. No, I won't reconsider." You really should. "I know, but I want to start my life now, not live through a year of sadness without Matt."
  • And then there were three. I think we can diverge from the storyline a bit here to see how these two go.
  • Matthew and Karen married in a quiet, private ceremony in their backyard. Matt had refused the endless cash supply offered to all Legacy spares. He simply wanted to make his own way with his wife.
  • Not everyone was happy about the marriage. Our lovely ex-placeholder Jackie happened to barge her way in while Matt and Karen were, erm, necking. Of course, this lead to this angryface from Jackie...
  • ...and this from Matt, who as a Family Sim, fears cheating on his various exes.
  • The couple had one son, named Geoffrey, who inherited brown hair from his grandmother Bella, Matt's dark blue eyes, and rather curiously shaped ears... Yes, Karen has elf ears. I forgot to mention this in the last chapter. Oops. Let's move back to the girls at Annya-Nagard-Cham, shall we?
  • "Can you come over straight away?" Why do I get the feeling that you're not calling a repairman? "Because nothing's broken?" Not true.
  • "CORINNA CHANDLER! I need to do my term paper and you BUSTED THE COMPUTER!" "I didn't do it!" "YOU SO DID!" "You can't prove it!" See? "Hmm. No, I don't want a repairman. I want a witch."
  • This is awfully familiar. "So, can you do it?" "Yes, but be warned. Your mother has brought us a bad name. If you sully us further, we will take our revenge." "How can the reputation of an evil witch be tarnished?" "She lost! If people think we're beatable, we'll lose all the fear and respect!"
  • "This... tingles." I'm sure it does. Like mother, like daughter. "I am NOTHING like my mother."
  • "I'd better test this thing out." Why? "Well, mostly for the warm tingly feeling I get from doing evil."
  • "Hey, Tempe, where's the... bwuck?" "The... what, Rin?" "Buck-buck-buck-kawk!" "Have you been drinking espresso again?" "Bwuck?"
  • "Excellent! Now, for the real magic... a little spell I like to call Mr. Death In A Wand." Ooh. Scary. "Laugh it up, mewling mortal. I am going to finish this Legacy as soon as this is brewed."
  • Not likely. Rin's getting in an awful lot of heir-practice with her newest man. "She can't have babies if she's DEAD." Good luck with that.
  • RIN! "What?" Another one? So soon? "If I want to fulfil my dream, I need to have a high man-turnover rate, yes? This is me being productive." They have a different word for what you are, Rin. And it ain't 'productive'. Shouldn't you be in bed? "Great suggestion, but I need to investigate something. Carl here's just a cover so Nessa goes to bed."
  • Investigate what? "She's put this little shed up and she won't let us near it. I plan on snooping." Not your best idea, Rin. "I never have good ideas."
  • "...It's a cauldron." Thank you, Captain Obvious.
  • "This means she's a witch. An evil witch. Just like Stella." Uh. Yeah. "I have to do something about this. Now." Rin, it's midnight. Wait until the morning, then tell Tempe about it. "Yeah. Night."
  • You've been rumbled, Veronica honey. Gig's up. "Not for long. I've been working on a little something." Mr. Death In A Wand? "Well, yes. But I now prefer the name Mr. Zappity."
  • "Hey, Vanessa, what are you doing out in the rain like thi- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" RIN! NO!
  • Rin? Oh no. No. TEMPE! GET THE BOOLPROP OUT HERE NOW!
  • HMM. WASN'T EXPECTING TO GET THIS ONE YET. OH WELL, RULES ARE RULES. "Excuse me? Mr. Death?" WHAT DO YOU WANT, MORTAL? "I want my sister. Alive and undamaged." NOT POSSIBLE. SHE IS ON THE LIST. "All right. I didn't want to have to resort to this."
  • "Pleeeeeeeease? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?" ALL RIGHT, I CAN OFFER YOU THE STANDARD GAMBIT. Veronica, I know you're faking. "Shush, it's working."
  • THE LEFT HAND? DON'T YOU MEAN THE RIGHT HAND? "No. Left hand." *sigh* FINE. YOU GET HER BACK. BUT YOU MAY NOT LIKE THE PRICE.
  • "Whatever, Bony-Butt. I win! In your face!" IT IS RARELY WISE TO ANTAGONISE ME, CHILD. I TEND TO COLLECT THOSE WHO IRRITATE ME A LITTLE EARLY. "Yeah, yeah. Do your resurrection mojo already."
  • VERY WELL. DO TRY TO KEEP HER ALIVE THIS TIME. Vanessa! Quit fake-crying! "I'm *sobsob* not faking this time! She's *sob* alive!"
  • "Tempe! You saved me!" "You shouldn't wander outside in the rain like this! Let's get inside before you get hit again." Drat. Drat drat drat. *does happy dance* In your face, Veronica. "Oh, do shut up."
  • What's up, Rin? "I feel... different. I'm missing a big chunk of memory." What? "Yeah. I remember kissing Carl goodnight, then nothing. And I feel... meaner. Darker." Well, let's check your stats... Uh-oh. "What?" You've lost whole heap of nice points and playful points. "Leave it. I... think I like it."
  • "Hel-looo there, Dark Rin." The hair sucks. "Oh, leave me to angst on my own, will you? I need a drink."
  • "I'll have the strongest drink you got." Rin, this is silly. Okay, you're all angsty and crap now, but you can't just get wasted because you nearly died. "I can't think of a better reason."
  • "Bottoms up." This will end badly. "Worse than being hit by lightning? I don't think so."
  • *several hours (and drinks) later...* "Haven't you had enough, Miss?" "I'll shay when I've had enough, thanksh muchly." "You're slurring a bit, is all." "I am not shlurring. I have retained all my eloquenshy."
  • "Rin? Rin, where are you? Get home, you've been out for hours." "Aw, Tempe, can you just let me drown my shorrows in peashe? It'sh bad enough with Fire yattering at me." No. Get home. Now. Or I'll haul your butt home for you." *click* "Geesh, she'sh a pain in the - " PG-13, please, Rin.
  • "Okay, okay, I'll walk home. I might jusht take a lil nap here firsht." Oh boy.
  • "Rin, I was worried sick about you. Why didn't you tell me something was wrong?" "I don't need to tell you everything, Temperanshe." "You're going to hurt yourself, Rin."
  • "Whatever. I'm going to bed. I don't need your help any more." "Rin..." Let her go, Tempe. She's grateful you saved her; she just needs time. "Can you keep an eye on her for me?" Of course. I'll always be watching her.
  • "Oh, here's mother's note from her university days. I'll have to get rid of it." Good girl. "I almost think I should leave a note about Vanessa in here." Don't; she might find it. "True. Oh well. I have an exam to go to anyway." Good luck.
  • "Wow. It's finally all over. I can't believe it." Congrats, Tempe. "I better get going, then." Mmm. Yes. Going.
  • "Taxi to Veronaville, please." Er, you're not actually going to Veronaville. "Where am I going, then?" Well... I kinda volunteered you for a Bachelor Challenge. From an OWBC. For Lark. You remember Lark. "A Bachelor Challenge? Are you nuts? I don't like boys! And if Lark's the crazy redhead with the Tombstone of Life and Death, I'm out." You don't like anyone. I want you to loosen up a little. And be nice to Lark. "Grrrr." Do this for me, and I'll give you the tower, the persian cat and all the mad scientist bells and whistles. "Fine." Off you go then.
  • "Tempe? Tempe! She didn't even say goodbye..." She didn't want any fuss, hon. That's who she is. "Yeah... didja tell her about the BC?" Yep. She did not take it well. "Hee hee."
  • "Last ever paper, Fire. I can't wait to get outta here." Yeah. On to Gen Six. "Nuh-uh. I want to have some fun in the real world first."
  • "I'm gonna miss you, Gladys." "Moo?" "I hope Vanessa keeps up your food. We don't want any more townies dead, do we?" "Moooo!"
  • Suddenly... "It's over. I'm done." Want a party, Rin? "...No. I just want to get out of here."
  • "I'm going to miss the place a bit." You've got the rest of your life ahead, Rin. "I just have to make sure I don't lose that life ever again."
  • Good luck, Rin. "Why? You'll be there when I'm starting my new life." I just wanted to wish you luck, is all. "Oh. Thanks."
  • "Mua ha ha." Y'know, I'm surprised you didn't try to finish the job when Tempe left. "Change of plans." Why... why are you so pleased? "The Commander wishes to speak with you." No. No way. "Do you recall the Simself Act, page 35, paragraph 5 C? I believe your presence, when summoned, is mandatory." Fine. I'll go. "Hehehehehe."
  • In a dark, scary mansion somewhere in Veronaville... "Ah. The mighty and omnipotent Fire. I have been expecting you." Why have you summoned me here? "To take you out of the equation."
  • What? "I'm installing a fourth wall, Fire dear. You're going to be totally shut off from the Simselves and your precious Legacy. And I'm going to be able to finish my master plans." You can't. "I think you'll find that I can."
  • "See?" ... "Excellent. It's worked."
  • "And now, I have work to do." ..... That's the end of chapter 5.3. Join us next time to see Rin take the reins of the Legacy, and to find out how everyone is going to handle this... mess. ------->
  • "Ow!" Never touch a witch's grimoire, Rin. It hurts.
  • "Ahahahahaa! They will never know it was meeeeee!" This is actually Matt's home; Stella likes to take his newspaper.
  • And, lastly, the llama/cow fight score for the duration of this college stay... Llama: 3 Cow: 0 Thanks for reading!