Circle of Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviour

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An explanation of how our thoughts, feelings and behviour are linked and can impact on our relationships.

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  • Circle of Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviour

    1. 1. <ul><li>Circle of </li></ul><ul><li>Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviour </li></ul><ul><li>thecoupleconnection.net © One Plus One </li></ul>
    2. 2. Thoughts Behaviour Feelings It is helpful to understand how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are linked. This diagram shows how each influences the other.
    3. 3. So for example, when I think that I cannot rely on my partner for support ... I can’t rely on my partner Thoughts
    4. 4. ... I am likely to behave in ways that exclude my partner from supporting me ... When my partner tries to help I turn away Behaviour Thoughts
    5. 5. ... with the result that my feelings are affected – I am likely to feel unsupported, angry and probably lonely. I feel unsupported, angry and lonely Behaviour Feelings Thoughts
    6. 6. These feelings reinforce my thoughts that I cannot rely on my partner ... I can’t rely on my partner Behaviour Feelings Thoughts
    7. 7. .... and so I continue to behave in ways that discourage support from my partner ... When my partner tries to help I turn away I can’t rely on my partner Behaviour Feelings Thoughts
    8. 8. .... and so the circle rolls on ... I feel unsupported, angry and lonely I can’t rely on my partner When my partner tries to help I turn away Behaviour Feelings Thoughts
    9. 9. As a result I become more and more dissatisfied with my relationship, more disparaging of my partner’s attempts to help me and increasingly hopeless about anything changing. I feel unsupported, angry and lonely I can’t rely on my partner When my partner tries to help I turn away Behaviour Feelings Thoughts
    10. 10. But the good news is that because my thoughts, feelings and behaviours are linked, if I want things to change I can enter the circle at any point ... Behaviour Feelings Thoughts I feel unsupported, angry and lonely I can’t rely on my partner When my partner tries to help I turn away
    11. 11. ... and any change I make in either my thoughts, feelings or behaviour is likely to make a series of changes. Thoughts Behaviour Feelings
    12. 12. So, if I choose to change my behaviour by allowing my partner to help me ... I choose to let my partner help me Behaviour
    13. 13. ... I am likely to feel supported and that my needs are being recognised ... I feel supported, and that my needs are being recognised Behaviour Feelings
    14. 14. ... and this in turn will influence my thoughts – I am more likely to think that my partner respects me and cares for me. I know my partner respects and cares for me Behaviour Feelings Thoughts
    15. 15. As the circles rolls on ... my changed behaviour will show my partner that I am turning towards them, rather than away and they too will feel needed by me and think that we are getting on better. I feel supported, and that my needs are being recognised I choose to let my partner help me I know my partner respects and cares for me Behaviour Feelings Thoughts
    16. 16. Thoughts Behaviour Feelings thecoupleconnection.net © One Plus One

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