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April27 dyc
 

April27 dyc

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Digital Communication Skills for April 27 presentation

Digital Communication Skills for April 27 presentation

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  • We live in a digital world – digital realities – so much of life occurring in digital spacesTons of debate about how technology should be used with teens – at home and at school
  • Ask participants what they want to get out of the workshop: and note it – if at the end a topic isn’t covered we will talk about it but likely most will be covered Note a lot of fear-based tactics and negative information – want to focus on positive things we can do – fear is a temporary motivator (talk about Harvard and about COPD cop story)
  • Want to be explicit we will touch on all these things – woven together -talking about things we can do to make ourselves safe, more supported and have more positive, productive experiences –ADD REVISED TOPICS
  • Talk about photo – Jodi’s 5-year-old
  • Want to make sure they understand I am not going to ask anyone personal questions, if I do ask questions it’s general informationSupport is available from school counselors, parents and trusted adults (teens, think about who those people are – if something comes up talk to someone)
  • What this tells us is that digital world not slowing down and not going awayI learned a lot of things preparing this and reviewing the research – things I can do better to protect privacy (and even some things I wasn’t doing !)Research shows that while kids are seen as experts by their parents using technology, in reality they aren’t the creators and developers – video about guy who talked about value in improving technological proficiencyEmbracing learning about how to use technology effectively and safelyGetting paid to do this
  • Activity
  • Activity
  • Things that are important to them right now - note to them about employers – something they will think more about as they get older
  • Tweens now will be online for more of their lives than today's adults. They will have large digital footprint due to time. As an example, google yourself to show them what comes up about you. Want a positive digital footprint, not a negative one.Invite them to think about as driving metaphor – don’t just jump in and drive – take classes, ride with parents, pass a test, then rules about where can go, with whom, etc. [mention law in Seattle about teens driving with other teens]
  • Adolescent brain – research – UCLA – neuroscientist – tested adults and teens – had them play video games while inside fMRI scanner to measure activity in different parts of their brainsResponse pattern of teens essentially the same response curve of seasoned drug addict – reward center can’t be stimulated by low doses – need big jolt to get pleasure. “in exciting real-life circumstances, this rational part of the brain gets overriden by the reward center
  • Research shows adults don’t really think much about this – and if they are not, what about kids? 61% of adults don’t pay attention to digital footprint
  • This is important – but only a piece – reactiveThink about what you do when you want to research a product – do the same thing on yourself.One or two tips for adults – here for daughters I for parent if haven’t checked own digital footprint do that
  • This is important – but only a piece – reactiveThink about what you do when you want to research a product – do the same thing on yourself/as a family.Story about Gracy’sfb page (anonymize) Environmental scan:In social networks where you have a profileIn places you frequent [chat rooms, im, etc.] general google/bing searchAsk what online spaces kids are in these days? Note.What thikn about what posted – nice comments, what mean? Is it nice, mean? Look at critically – what would someone think about only you based on what you posted.
  • This is important – but only a piece – reactiveThink about what you do when you want to research a product – do the same thing on yourself/as a family.Story about Gracy’sfb page (anonymize) Environmental scan:In social networks where you have a profileIn places you frequent [chat rooms, im, etc.] general google/bing searchAsk what online spaces kids are in these days? Note.What thikn about what posted – nice comments, what mean? Is it nice, mean? Look at critically – what would someone think about only you based on what you posted.
  • Our job is to suggest one way to help kids use the Internet safely and intelligently. Not because we want parents to spy on their kids but because we want the parents to be able to easily discuss issues with the kids that arise.Teach to drive – be on their own at some point encourage to get kids on their own
  • Holiday card study – talk about how we saw moms actually using internet and clicking away intuitively and randomly – INSERT ANOTHER SLIDE – PERMANENCE OF IT – ABILITY FOR INFORMATION TO GET FORWARDED – DO YOU KNOW HOW TO COPY AND PASTE – SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE – ANOTHER SLIDE – REASONS TO THINK BEFORE YOU CLICK
  • Holiday card study – talk about how we saw moms actually using internet and clicking away intuitively and randomly – INSERT ANOTHER SLIDE – PERMANENCE OF IT – ABILITY FOR INFORMATION TO GET FORWARDED – DO YOU KNOW HOW TO COPY AND PASTE – SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE – ANOTHER SLIDE – REASONS TO THINK BEFORE YOU CLICK
  • Fear of missing out = FOMOTalk about Holiday card study and what expert said about skinner’s box – intuitiveBrainstorm ideas about controlling impulse
  • HOW MANY USING FACEBOOOK? FIND OUT HOW MANY – LEGAL AGE CAN USE FACEBOOK ACCORDING TO TERMS OF SERVICE 13 – let them know they are there – put on tip sheet – here’s where go to get instructions to adjust privacy settings – facebook constantly changing something – includes privacy settingsTalk about prevention and going through heart hospital with its director and he said we aren’t very good in this society at prevention. Same thing applies here – so much reactive information, so much fear-based information. Let’s look at simply things you CAN do to make yourself safer and improve your privacy. These things will help with all of scary stuff out there.Activity – go throughfacebook privacy settingsGive attorney general brochures
  • This is probably one of the most important skills to learn about in digital spaces – offline and online interactDigital communications IS differentExperts rate up to 80% of communication is non-verbal – in digital spaces we don’t have those things – tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures, use of body space, etc.Talk about research study on comm and generations – biggest problem everyone talked about was text messages or IMs or messages getting misinterpreted- talk about language – talk about impression managementActivity – scenario – story and ask people how interpret – give to two girls
  • The book How to Talk so Teens Wills Listen and Listen So Teens Will TalkVery specific stuff and steps and scenarios and types of communication, but generally, this is some of what they recommendAlso work in education – feedback, Nurture shock also talked about this in inverse power of praiseOn brainstorming and compromise – researchers found- teens divide world into categories of control – certain things parents have the right to control over but certain things that are solely in their control – tension comes when parents and teens don’t always agree what goes on in which category – what affects only the teens or that affects others – another opportunity to talk about creating life skills - What does brainstorming means – ok to come up with lots of ideas and choose from As a parent there are things you will not compromise onActivity?
  • About inquiry – talk about my job really getting people to open up and share their lives – learned more than I ever dreamed possibleIt’s inductive [upside down triangle] – instead of going into a situation thinking we have the answers and we are ‘looking’ to prove or disprove what we think we know, we enter a situation with open eyes and open ears – without expectation or thinking we know the answer. Good to do with parents and kids, for classmates, for everyone!Explain reference bias and what we know about working in research and surprises we learn. Talk about the value of going into a situation assuming we don’t know the answer and seeking the details and information to help us understand what’s happening – walking in someone else’s shoesWe all have bias – lens – seeing the world a certain way and acting towards people and situations based on how we ‘think’ they areWe want to understand how things happen over time, too. If a friend of yours usually isn’t mean and one day she really snaps at you, well, it’s not something that always happens. So maybe there’s something going on she could use your support with. Then again, if someone is consistently acting like an “unhealthy friend” you will want to understand that so you can make a choice about how you want to interact with her
  • Remember what I talked about digital communication?have 2 girls read a script in which they relay an overhead conversation. Have a 3rd girl write down 1 phrase she hears. Hand that paper to a 4th girl who has been out of the room. Ask the 4th girl to guess what is happening. Show how we interpret based upon snippets. We do it offline and even more so online.
  • Remember what I talked about digital communication?have 2 girls read a script in which they relay an overhead conversation. Have a 3rd girl write down 1 phrase she hears. Hand that paper to a 4th girl who has been out of the room. Ask the 4th girl to guess what is happening. Show how we interpret based upon snippets. We do it offline and even more so online.
  • Activity about – what is harm? Each person [or pair, group] gets an act and they decide if it’s harm or not – two columns – then review and discuss – no right or wrong answers but recognizing harm can mean many thingsWho can tell what bullying is? Talk about different meaning for same word – important to understand how harm can be experienced differently for each personReasons students don’t report cyberbullying: embarrassment, fear of escalation, adults don’t understand, adults will blame the victim, adults will restrict digital access
  • Activity about – what is harm? Each person [or pair, group] gets an act and they decide if it’s harm or not – two columns – then review and discuss – no right or wrong answers but recognizing harm can mean many thingsWho can tell what bullying is? Talk about different meaning for same word – important to understand how harm can be experienced differently for each personReasons students don’t report cyberbullying: embarrassment, fear of escalation, adults don’t understand, adults will blame the victim, adults will restrict digital access
  • Activity about – what is harm? Each person [or pair, group] gets an act and they decide if it’s harm or not – two columns – then review and discuss – no right or wrong answers but recognizing harm can mean many thingsWho can tell what bullying is? Talk about different meaning for same word – important to understand how harm can be experienced differently for each personReasons students don’t report cyberbullying: embarrassment, fear of escalation, adults don’t understand, adults will blame the victim, adults will restrict digital access
  • Talk about we make unhealthy and healthy choices – we can be both – we want to be able to recognize people who are consistently, over time, unhealthy friends so that we can make choices about how we interact with them
  • – watch video – think, pair, share – teens with teens and parents with parentsQuestion for kids: how would you support her if you knew her?Parents: how would you support her if she was your daughter?
  • Popcorn: each girl group is given scenario about a type of unhealthy friend behavior (based on types of bullying) and then b) gives solution- insert slide on directions – later – talk to each other about this activityAsk kids what is your school’s policy on this stuff? MA just passed law with zero tolerance
  • Popcorn: each girl group is given scenario about a type of unhealthy friend behavior (based on types of bullying) and then b) gives solution- insert slide on directions – later – talk to each other about this activityAsk kids what is your school’s policy on this stuff? MA just passed law with zero tolerance
  • Mom and guilty – observation of personal safety sessions – balance with positive example of how tools used

April27 dyc April27 dyc Presentation Transcript

  • Building Digital Communication Skills
  • About Alex Wills
    I have worked for years trying to better understand people and their lives. I have volunteered in both Americorps and Peace Corps and have worked in a number of non-profit organizations and school systems.
    I have a bachelor’s degree in journalism and a masters degree in sociology. For the past several years I have worked as an ethnographer, which means I have traveled the U.S. and the world to spend time with people and learn about their lives so that companies can learn more about the people who buy their products. I have been lucky enough to make a living learning about the world around me.
    Thank you for having me.
  • What we will learn today
    • How real-life transitions into digital spaces
    • Creating a positive digital footprint
    • Strategies and techniques for improving digital communication, digital safety and digital responsibility
  • Some topics
    Girl Drama Online
    Cyber Bullying
    Online Predators
    Helping/Supporting Friends Online
    Your Online Reputation
    Creating a Strong and Positive Social Network
  • What it’s really about
  • Our Commitment during this process
    Confidentiality
    Pledge “I, _____, so solemnly swear that I will keep confidential what we talk about in this workshop.”
    General “we”
    Support is available
  • Some stats and information
    71% American teenagers own mobile phone (Pew Internet & American Life Project)
    58% teens have a social network site profile (Lenhart et al., 2008)
    10-40% of youth report experiencing cyber bullying, and 10% admit to bullying at one time or another (Cyberbullying Research Center)
    81% of parents and 79% teens agree children not as careful as they should be posting things on line; AND,
    62% of parents with teens and 62% of online teens agree children do things online they wouldn’t want their parents to know about (Pew Internet and American Life Project)
  • Understanding the text generation
    Activity
    We are going to ask our daughters to help us understand why their age group loves texting so much.
    Top 3 reasons we love to text.
    Top 3 things we wish our parents would understand about whywe love to text.
  • Digital Footprint
  • Digital footprint as a cornerstone
  • Digital footprint = Online Reputation
    Content posted by you, about you
    Can be posted by you or someone else
    Includes pictures, posts, videos, documents and more
    Largely permanent
  • Consider this:
    Largely indifference or negligence, not malice
    Consequences, what consequences?
    The adolescent brain (Nurture Shock)
  • Consider this:
  • Creating a positive digital footprint:
  • Creating a positive digital footprint:
    Periodically “review” yourself
    Have you “Googled”/“Binged” yourself lately?
    What do you see? What’s the “message”?
    Don’t think about just the literal words, but think about the overall meaning they convey
    Analogy: Think about going to a store and seeing a display of merchandise – what words, images and arrangements do you see?
  • Creating a positive digital footprint:
    Periodically “review” yourself
    Pretend you are someone else looking at your comments, posts, photos, etc. What do they say about you?
    Examples: Mean, two-faced, innocent, bashful, sporty, musical, excited, loves to travel, etc?
    Your message can be positive and negative at the same time
    Don’t rely on keyboard courage
  • Creating a positive digital footprint:
    A lot of experts recommend computer use occur in shared spaces at home
    A lot of experts recommend parents, with their kids, periodically review themselves online/on their phones
  • Creating a positive digital footprint:
    Think before you click
    Cognitive control: “But it isn’t just about managing information; it’s also part of the process of squelching frustration and anger, and stifling an inappropriate or impulsive response.” (Nurture Shock, page 171)
    Don’t be an impulse junky!
  • Creating a positive digital footprint:
    Think before you click
    Anyone can copy and paste
    Anyone can forward
    Anyone can ‘quote’ you, correctly or incorrectly
  • Creating a positive digital footprint:
    Do you suffer from FOMO?
    Activity: One-minute brainstorm
    What can you do before you click/press send?
  • Privacy
    Good use of privacy settings worth their weight in gold
    What social networks and digital programs are you using?
    Activity
    Let’s check out privacy settings using a popular social networking site – Facebook!
    Visit this video for more information (http://www.wiredsafety.org/fbprivacy/)
  • Communication
  • Communication
    Validate feelings
    I statements – avoid the b-word
    Critical feedback
    Brainstorm solutions
    Negotiate, compromise, agree
  • Bottoms up!
    make informed
    conclusions
    look for patterns
    walk a mile in someone else’s flip flops
    eyes and ears open
    It’s not about proving what we think we know
  • Understanding the whole story
    Did you know a group of Roman Mathematicians developed an equation to describe how gossip travels on the internet?
    In a test it only took 17 hours to spread a rumor across the globe using digital communication.
  • Understanding the whole story
    Activity – Can you guess what’s going on?
    2 volunteers have a conversation about a friend
    Another volunteer overhears the conversation
    She shares that information with a volunteer outside the room
    The volunteer outside the room then comes back in and tells us what the conversation was about.
  • Digital drama
    “Willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computer, cell phones, and other electronic devices.” (Cyberbullying Research Center)
    Activity
    What is harm?
  • What is Harm?
    Your best friend told Bryan you LOVED him after you told her it was a secret
    You didn’t get invited to the birthday party of the most popular girl in school
    Your friend forgot to wish you a happy birthday
    You see a boy get thrown into a locker at school and don’t do anything
  • What is Harm?
    Your friend forgot to tag you in a photo of the party
    You didn’t ask your friend how you should respond to a text from her boyfriend
    During an IM your friend says “You are so stupid”
    You have a chat scheduled with a friend but then have to do your chores and then she gets mad
  • The Unhealthy Friend
    Tries to control what you do, say or wear
    Threatens not to be your friend when you don’t do what she wants
    Always makes decisions for you when you’re together
    Gives you the silent treatment
    Makes you feel bad about yourself
    Doesn’t listen to yourideas
    Gets jealous when you spend time with others
    Embarrasses you in public
    Fights a lot without trying to solve problems
    Tells your secrets to others
    Source: Understanding Girl Bullying and What to Do About It
  • Bullying: What do we do?
    http://socialtimes.com/bullied-teen-quietly-takes-a-stand-on-youtube_b43727
    Activity: Think, Pair, Share
    How would you support her if you knew her?
    How would you support her if she was your daughter?
  • What can we do about it?
    To intervene or not to intervene, that is the question?
    No one size fits all
  • What can we do about it?
    Activity
    Popcorn: handling drama – pair up
    Each group reads a scenario of a digital drama and comes up with a strategy to deal with it
    Parents listen, then offer their solutions after each group presents
    What are the policies around bullying at your school?
  • Just some things to think about
    We model behavior every single day
    Life is full of teachable moments
    Everyday we teach life skills
    One day they will leave nest
    It’s messy, hard and full of gray areas
    We are in this together
  • Some books
    Nurture Shock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman (Hachette Book Group, 2009)
    How to Talk so Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (HarperCollins, 2005)
    Girl Bullying and What to Do About It by Julaine E. Field, Jered B. Kolbert, Laura M. Crothers and Tammy L. Hughes (Corwin, 2009)