What Does it Look Like
Threats of Violence
89% of teens between 13-18 report they have been in dating relationships
1 in 5 high school students report being physically and/or sexually assaulted
by a dating partner
1 in 4 teens who have been in a serious relationship report to have been
pressured to only spend time with only their partner.
1 in 3 girls who have been in a serious relationship say they have been
concerned about being physically hurt by their partner.
1 in 3 girls age 16-18 report that sex is expected in a relationship. Half of
this number report feeling pressured to have sex or the relationship would
40% of girls 14-17 report knowing someone their age that has been hit or
beaten by a boyfriend.
Nearly 80% of girls who reported that they had been physically abused
by a boyfriend continued to date their abuser.
In 2012 the World Health Organization
(WHO) Reported that:
1 in 3 Women will be the victim of sexual
assault and/or domestic violence in their
Look for a Pattern of Behavior
Dating Violence is typically not a one time
incident, instead a pattern of behaviors to
gain and maintain POWER and CONTROL
over another person. This will include:
Use of Drugs and Alcohol
History of abuse
Unhealthy models of relationships at home
Peers in abusive relationships
View relationships as “private” matters
Traditional gender roles and rigid gender stereotypes
Objectification of women in the media
Violence in the media desensitizing
Adults viewing teen relationships as “puppy love”
What Should We Do?
1. Recognize that this is a society/community wide effort.
2. Teens need to know the difference between a healthy and
3. We need to teach our children respect for each other.
4. Communities need to become educated on the issues and what to
do to help.
5. Take it seriously!
6. Look for unhealthy behavior and signs of physical abuse
7. Educate, Educate, Educate
Abusers May Be…
Very Charming in public and be very well liked
Make light of abuse
Blame the victim for abuse
Isolate victim from others
Come from an abusive home or unhealthy environment
Show signs of jealousy
Utilize technology to control victim
Has no respect for victim’s privacy
Threaten to commit suicide if victim leaves them
Threaten to hurt or kill victim or loved one’s of the victim
Why Do Our Kid’s Stay
Hoping the abuser will change or stop
Feeling a strong emotional bon- loyalty to abuser
Feeling isolated and not knowing how to get help
Worried about getting in trouble or being embarrassed
of being judged
May feel dependant on the abuser for….
Scared to leave
They may think this is normal behavior
Victim thinks they can control the situation
Warning Signs of Abuse
Does abuser look at you in ways that scare you?
Act jealous of possessive?
Put you down or criticize you in public or online?
Try to control where you go and what you wear or what you do?
Text you excessively?
Monitor your email?
Look through your phone or personal belongings?
Blame you for hurtful things they say or do?
Threaten to hurt you or themselves if they leave?
Try to stop you from being with friends or family?
Try to guilt you or force you to have sex?
Do they hit, slap or kick you?
Restrain you from walking away from an argument?
Yes to even one of these questions may indicate an abusive relationship
How to Help
Don’t ask why they stay
Get professional help from the Police and an Advocate
Know the hotline number to a DV Shelter
Safety plan with the victim
This is NOT the victim’s fault! Reinforce this over and over.
Take any reports of abuse seriously