COMART2: Tightening Wordy Sentences

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COMART2: Tightening Wordy Sentences

  1. 1. Tightening Wordy Sentences<br />Eliminating Redundancies<br />1. Alfredo still has not paid last month’s tuition fee yet.<br />2. Elena’s blouse is small in size and yellow in color.<br />Avoiding Unnecessary Repetition of Words<br />1. Our fifth guest in the seminar is a multi-awarded guest.<br />2. We visited the capital city of Malolos City, which is the capital of Bulacan.<br />Cutting Empty / Inflated Phrases<br />1. I like grammar in spite of the fact that it is time-consuming to learn.<br />2. The school has no authority to exclude a student from enrolment solely for the reason<br />that he/she is married.<br />Simplifying Needlessly Complex Sentences<br />1. It is important that students remain inside the campus during class hours.<br />2. We took a trip to Calamba, which was the home of Jose Rizal.<br />Choosing Appropriate Language by:<br />Avoiding Jargon<br />1. In order that I may increase my expertise in the area of delivery of services to clients, I feel that participation in this conference will be beneficial.<br />2. We intend to designate new parameters for optimal employee participation in the company, and to target year-end norms for employee output. This will enable us to optimize the size of our workforce and facilitate downsizing by year end.<br />Avoiding Doublespeak / Highfalutin Language<br />1. In the West, when their progenitors reach their silver-haired and golden years, they frequently entomb them in homes for senescent beings as if they were already among the deceased.<br />2. Teachers are educators these days, or classroom mangers, or learning facilitators who possess effective instructional delivery skills which they demonstrate in microteaching sessions. Teaching is called the learning process and learning is called adjusted behavior. Students don’t study, they spend time on task in their learning environment.<br />Avoiding Archaic and Slang Words<br />1. And anon, the teacher assented thereto with good will, and so in all haste the student<br />made amends betwixt him and his classmate. The other student gave him leave, for fain<br />would she have been accorded with him.<br />2. You talk crap! That’s a hot song. I’d die for tickets to a Juan Dela Cruz reunion concert anytime. I’m dying to see Joey “Pepe” Smith in person. He’s cool!<br />Avoiding Sexist Language<br />1. Every call center applicant wants to know how much he will make.<br />2. If you are a senior government official, your wife is required to report any gifts she receives that are valued at more than P1,000.<br />

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