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Relationships and the Web
 

Relationships and the Web

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A look at how our interactions and relationships are changing because of our digital connectedness.

A look at how our interactions and relationships are changing because of our digital connectedness.

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  • Can now be social on a much, much, much larger scale Talk outside of your “circle”, perceived social class, etc Faster, smaller and less formal (what you ate, what you are thinking, doing); Lead to less time to think about actions Express individuality - real life has become the school uniform; social media is now your flair
  • Now have video and pictures to animate what you are doing Mom still sends me clippings of articles she wants me to read about how to change a tire, eat healthy -- Now twitter -- means more involved in people’s decisions Foursquare/Bright kite the next way to bring people together? Just introduced to a guy yesterday because we frequent the same coffee shop
  • There is a wall between our fans, followers, readers, etc allowing us to reveal more of ourselves without immediate consequences Everything is public you have to own up to what you post Changing level of trust -- less on what the outside thinks and more what the inner circle says and thinks (result of noise and transparency)
  • Cultural notions about love and romance are changing 40 million unique users visited online dating sites in the United States alone, according to U.S. News & World Report
  • Tell story of jen & sarah - why unfriending All those separate groups you only hung out with for certain things are now gathering all in one place Online friends are no longer a strange thing for geeks -- jokes during wordcamp brought people together Being connected in so many ways means conversation can devolve
  • You use body language, tone, and observation to determine what’s allowed. Same applies to social media. When you move those relationships offline, make sure those “rules and scripts” still apply Let your offline friends know about online events, invite online friends to offline events, get people mixing and talking, then judge what’s best I keep it free flowing. Facebook is kept to people I am currently in contact with and that changes (no highschool, few college) Keeping friend count low means I personalized messages and make friends feel valued What do you do? What rules do you follow?
  • Share story about friend on Africa trip finding out boyfriend how broken up with her Context more difficult and more important than ever - how can you fight through a text message? With instant communication, when they don’t answer that can challenge trust Couples need privacy but don’t have privacy Person is one way online, different in real life
  • Keep update about work general - no names, no specific events, broad statements (I dislike when people don’t clean up their messes) Honesty - let supervisor/staff know you are on these social networks but keep them as a separate group. Encourages openness and less of a feeling of being watched or you saying something behind their backs Can you really fake being another person everyday for 40 years? If you are one person online, show that person in your interview and at work. Less shock if people are on your profiles or find them, as well as most likely will make you more comfortable in your interactions with co-workers.
  • No reason you should be able to invite someone to coffee if there are no barriers to interactions In person interaction still important to relationships - strengthens trust that they are who they say, can help provide context and tone so you can envision that in your head during online interactions If you aren’t available during a certain time, establish that early. If you don’t post on weekends or if you don’t like certain posts/messages, get that out there Social media all about authenticity and openness - great, let’s move that into the real world

Relationships and the Web Relationships and the Web Presentation Transcript

  • Relationships & the Web How to behave when everything is online
  • Katie Charland @katiecharland
    • Raising Arizona Kids magazine
    • Phoenix Comicon
    • Liberal de-friender and un-follower
  • But I’ve always been social…
    • Now…
    • Scalable
    • Limited barriers
    • Instantaneous
    • Express individuality
  • Letters - Texting - ???
    • Has it really changed?
    • Letters and texting still limited to just words
    • MMS, video and apps
    • Clipping to Tweeting
    • What’s next?
  • Tonight on the Real World…
    • Living life in a confession booth
    • Forced ownership
    • Changing level of trust
    www.presentruth.com
  • Friending
  • I wasn’t invited to your party?
    • Different groups are now gathering in one place
    • Nature of making friends changing
    • Friendships form faster
    • All talk, ALL THE TIME
  • Will you be my friend?
    • Feel out the room
    • Merge groups
    • Save conversations for offline
    • Following & Friending
    • What do you do with your Facebook? Twitter?
  • Dating
  • You found out over Facebook?
    • Harder to date/be in relationship now
    • Context
    • Trust
    • Lack of privacy
    • Different personas
    Photo: Marieclaire.com
  • I’m going to be alone forever
    • Not so…
    • View all profiles
    • Show up at the same groups
    • Keep arguments private & offline
    • Make sure you what you mean is what you say
  • Working
  • Why Facebook is so going to get you fired…
    • Keep work updates general
    • Problems offline
    • Honesty
    • Be yourself
  • Takeaways
    • Move relationships offline
    • Set expectations
    • Honesty
    • SHARE TIME!