Welcome back to the Vermachtnis Legacy, a legacyundergoing an alien revolution. Last chapter, the fiveVermachtnis kids entered college and found love.Palmer was dating a mean maid named Lexie whilePenelope was dating Malcolm Landgraab. Malcolmwas once a prisoner when Palmer ran a people zoo inthe backyard yet was the only one to escape, earningPalmer’s eternal ire. And with that, we’re ready toget going . . .
Palmer was chosen in a poll at SiMania to be heir, so here’s his college portraitin the Urele Ara Hoh library. Palmer is, of course, the mean, outgoing andplayful evil mastermind that we’ve all come to know and love. With thisdecision, the rest of the kids were free to start planning their lives sans heirship.
Paul and Parker dropped out of college to go marry their girlfriends,cheerleader Caryl and cow mascot Elle, respectively. In an interesting choice,they decided to grow up in matching orange and pastel plaid outfits. Hmm.
This left Palmer and his favorite sibling, Penelope, as well as their brother Prescottand his girlfriend Sierra. Sierra is a knowledge sim so it would break her heart toleave college, thus she gets to stay. It would break Prescott’s heart to be awayfrom Sierra so he gets to stay too. I’ve always had an appreciation for knowledgesims so the way to guarantee a college education in my game is to roll thataspiration. Or date one apparently.
With junior year rolling around, Palmer has a chance to change his aspiration, which I have him jump on. His previous aspiration was fortune with the LTW to have 6 pets top their careers. This gave me headaches just thinking about completing it, so I roll my die again . . .. . . and get family. Whut.Palmer is so not a family sim, but I can’t disobey therules, so that’s what he’ll stay.“Winnipeg, I’m going to get married some day and Ican’t wait and then I’ll have lots and lots of babies!Isn’t that just special?”This is obviously a good idea because . . .
You know who would make a great husband and father?This guy right here.
Penelope’s LTW is, of course, to eat 200 grilledcheese sandwiches. She had actually done a hugeportion of this so far in college, so I decided toactually complete the LTW and collect the grilledcheese grave eventually. “Penny?” “Yeah, Palmer?” “I want to ask you something important.” “Ok.” “Is that an eagle or a hawk?” “Um, a hawk.” “Oh ok. Also, want to move back home with me after graduation?” “Sure.”
Penny and Sierra head down to the venue one more time toaccomplish a few things. As usual, it is attended by Vermachtnisspares (like Julian, at left) and the usual assortment ofplaceholders and zombies. The zombies *really* like the venueand show up more often than anyone else.
Penelope works on knocking outcheese sandwiches for her LTW.At first I had her doing equaltime on the stove and thetreadmill to try to keep her trim,but I could see that it was goingto take forever to get to 200 if Iwas focused on her appearance,so I let Penelope put on theweight and keep it there, at leastfor now. When she reaches herLTW, then we’ll talk. Until then,eating five sandwiches in a row(that’s how many you can eatbefore the sixth one rots, btw) isin her best interests.
“Just doing a littlegardening – a spray here,50 sprays there – y’know,that kind of thing.” Ever since Parker transformed on this very same lot, knowledge sim Sierra has been dying to also become a plantsim. After what seemed an interminable number of sprays, she finally succumbs and sprouts. I think she makes a very lovely plantsim, but nearly every sim in the entire neighborhood that knows her or is related to her – even distantly – wants her to turn back. Sorry guys, not happening!
Back at Urele Ara Hoh, Palmer divides his time between wooing and beingwooed by Lexie and playing games on Penelope’s computer in her lovely pinkand cheese colored room. Technically, Palmer has the better computer in hisroom, but he really likes this one for some reason.
Here’s the ladies of generation six. Penelope is the only natural bornVermachtnis in this group, but the rest are all wives of or engaged to aVermachtnis. They spend some quality girl time over – what else? – grilledcheese. Sierra, no longer needing food, paints in the background.
The summer was an unusually stormy one and we’ve had more than afew weather problems. Besides the usual burnt trees, lightening alsostruck Penelope, turning her a lovely shade of charcoal that matches thebathroom perfectly.
The final semester is nearly over and allthe kids have good grades and full studybars, so they’re free to mess aroundsome, whether that means reading forfun, calling friends, or playing on yoursister’s computer for no apparentreason in the middle of the night whileshe’s trying to sleep.
Back home, the main Vermachtnis household gets ready to make a move. The last house was built 4 years ago and considering I used to build a new house every few months, I just can’t abide by that.We have to say goodbye to our awesome shrine toFluffy the cowplant (though Fluffy herself camewith us – she’s been around since generation 2after all) and also to Mary and June’s graves.Before heading off to join the graves at theVermachtnis cemetary, their ghosts wave goodbyeto each other. Even in the afterlife these twomake a very sweet couple.
I’m rather proud of the house. We’regoing for a modern minimalist vibe, andthe inside of the house is decoratedmainly in greens, in honor of our greenheir. Kitchen, living room and study aredownstairs, as well as a center areawhere the dogs live. Upstairs arebedrooms, a nursery and a playroom forthe kids. The third floor is a skilling atticwith all manner of career rewardobjects and craft benches.
Before we get back to the college, let’s check what’s going on at the home base.Let’s see . . .Maddie is pelting Max in the face with a baseball while Mr. Humble glitches onour stairs? Yeah, that sounds about right.
The current residents of theVermachtnis house are the nearlyelderly couple Max and Maddie,and their two dogs, Kiki and littleRolf. Kiki and Rolf also had a litterof three puppies who are nearlygrown. So far they’re identical butthey grow up interestingly.
From top left clockwise we haveZoe, who looks like a bigger versionof her grandfather, Quorn, wholooks exactly like Kiki, and Captain,whose looks are in a category alltheir own. Just because she’s themost different (and leastdeformed), we end up keeping Zoeand the other two are put up foradoption.
Zoe likes to be right in the middle of everything. She observes Maxgiving her brothers away to the police officer before later joining theVermachtnis tradition of Communal Bathroom Time. Unlike her poorlytrained mother, however, Zoe knows that the human bathrooms arenot the place for her business.
Now let’s check in on Paul and Parker.Parker scares the pee out of Zaube IIbefore having a crisis of his own. I thoughtI could keep a vampire/plantsim happy byliberal application of grow lights, but he’sforever trying to run outside. Parker isvery hard to keep alive and I’m glad he’snot part of the main family so I don’t haveto play him much any more. Paul, asthroughout his entire life, takes a calmbackseat to his dramatic siblings.
When he’s not trying to commit suicideon the front lawn, Parker is very happyto spend time with his wife Elle (foronce out of her cow suit) and their twoboys: Trevor (in red) and Rory (inbrown).
Paul is also leading a happy family lifedespite being a romance sim. He andwife Caryl have two children: Arthur andVivian.
And now back to the college house. After strugglingwith Parker, I discover that Sierra, despite not beinga vampire, is not much easier to keep happy, thoughshe is infinitely easier to keep alive. She doesn’treally like spending time outside and would ratherbe flirting with Prescott or reading in the library.Between constant tree maintenance and parking herat the easel under a grow light, I mostly do okay withher, but she does spendmore than a few nightspassed out under the stars.
DID YOU KNOW? – PALMER FAQDid you know? Palmer’s favorite place in the world is abathtub. He can find many activities to do in a bathtub.Now you know! Knowledge is power!
“Congratulations, sir. You’ve spent so much time goofingoff on your sister’s computer in her pink and yellow roomthat we would like to invite you to our private club.”NO! Don’t encourage him!
The kids all pass their exams with flying colors and the time has cometo grow up and move out and on. We’ll check in with Prescott andSierra before moving back to the main home.
I’m very sad that Sierra’s hair changedand can’t be changed back, but suchare the compromises a plantsim mustmake, I suppose. After a privatewedding, Prescott and Sierra beginraising Sierra’s spore baby, Ivy.Prescott is a great dad to her despitenot being related and Ivy grows up verysmart and beautiful.
Having survived three whole days of raising a toddler, Prescott and Sierra decide they’re ready for a challenge and have five kids. Unfortunately they have four boys so I couldn’t use the Leaf many nice girl plant Oak names I thought of and end up naming the boys some pretty dumb things.Rose Thorn Ash
Finally we’re back at the main house. Palmer has arrived home and invited Lexie tomove in. Penny also moves home to provide a cheese grave. Astoundingly, Lexiebrings $11,000 with her, which is the most I’ve ever gotten from an NPC. How muchwas she getting paid at that maid service? Lexie’s personality is 8/7/7/1/2 andbesides maxed cleaning she has a good smattering of skills.Anyway, Max and Maddie had a small, private wedding, but we’ve all been planningfor a grandiose one for Palmer and Lexie. The family gets to know each other firstover – yes – plates of grilled cheese.
The wedding is held that evening, after sunset so that Parker can attend. Palmerinvites every Vermachtnis he knows plus a few extra friends and characters, andnearly everyone shows up despite only a few of them actually liking Palmer.Some kind of alien magnetism is going on, I guess. My computer froze for a goodtime while it generated the hordes of guests that descended on the house fromboth sides. Of course, it wouldn’t be a party if a few fights didn’t break out, sowe had one of those at the very beginning over at the right of the picture. Lexiestarted her bridal walk from the far corner of the lot to give everyone time toseat themselves.
Even despite that a good number of guests never made it to seats, but by thetime Lexie had made her way around the house, most of them had. Some ofthe pictures aren’t as great as I would have liked due to the lighting, but it was avery beautiful wedding nonetheless. Certainly it was a well attended one.For more details and pictures about the wedding and the following honeymoon,please check out the extra story “Greetings from Romantic Twikkii Island,” alsoon my livejournal.
Palmer and Lexie said their vows andkissed and it was official – Lexie wasnow a Vermachtnis and the sixthgeneration was complete.
Palmer, now a family sim (grumble), was elated at the marriage.Lexie, a romance sim, didn’t fear thewedding but might have had somesecond thoughts as she quicklyrushed away from the ceremony andthe guests. Interestingly, I had givenall my main sims second aspirationsand Lexie rolled family. Perhaps thatmade the difference. Palmer’s wascheese, yet another commonality forhim and Penelope.
The party was a roaring success and besides being a great time, it provided many opportunities for visiting with Vermachtnises of generations past.After a little alone time upstairs, Palmer andLexie joined the party and socialized untilalmost 4 am. Tired but happy, theyimmediately left for their honeymoon onTwikkii Island.
While there they stayed at aVermachtnis-owned beach house andexplored the many activities andlocales the island had to offer.Palmer become obsessed withsandcastles and built one on everybeach they came across. Sometimestwo.
Unlike most Vermachtnis brides, Lexie did not become pregnantimmediately before or after her wedding. Rather, she enjoyed five fulldays of vacation time before conceiving. Once she had though, she wasmore than happy to tell all the locals about it. Finally the time came to gohome, and the two happy newlyweds were ready to start their family.
Hey Malcolm, whatcha doin’ at the Vermachtnis house?“Oh crap, this is their house?! I thought it was just some new family. I’mgetting out of here!”Someone is trying to evade his destiny. Too bad Palmer didn’t catch him.
Now that Palmer and Lexie arehome again, we can move on withthe regular business of the legacy.It’s finally time for Max and Maddieto age up. Max goes first andMaddie follows . . .
. . . And aww, they’re still super cutetogether. I’ve been saving this pinkelder outfit forever – it’s just so Max.I love his hair too. He looks like acrazy Mozart to me, hee hee.
Lexie finally shows her pregnancy. Pregnant sims in mygame get pretty much whatever they want, and what Lexiewants is to make pottery. Mmkay. She’ll eventually get hersilver talent badge by the time the baby’s born, and thenforget all about the wheel, never to desire it again. Sims canbe so fickle.
Time to start painting the official portraits of generation six.They go on a longinterior wall thathouses all theportraits, stretchingback to the founder,Asher Vermachtnis.
Only a few days into adulthood, Penny finally finishes her LTW while hergreat aunt Jay looks on. Now that Penelope is permaplat . . .
. . . It’s time to get back into shape.The bottom picture wasn’t exactlythe shape I had in mind, but sheeventually settles out to a nice,normal sim size.Like I’ve found with a lot of ‘largecount’ wants (with the notableexceptions of kids or pets) the trickis to get the bulk of the want out ofthe way in college, when there’s lessother stuff to focus on. Penelope’sLTW ended up not being so badafter all, and now she’s going to bein great form to help care for thenewborn when it arrives.
There are several reasons whyPalmer and Lexie might notmake the best couple, chiefamong them being theirconflicting aspirations.However, they’re head overheels in love and will happilyspend long periods of timejust interacting with eachother. They have two boltsand I have a strong suspicionthat it would be three if theiraspirations were compatible.
Oh, Palmer. Palmer, like any self-respecting mean sim, cheatsat chess horribly. He normally gets away with it but after aboutfour cheats in a row, Max finally catches him and is none toohappy. I love Palmer’s reaction, though: “Who, me? Nah.”
“Um, thanks for baking me dessert and all, Maddie, but you’dthink an executive chef would be able to not burn thecheesecake.”“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?”
Finally the time comes for the first birth ofgeneration seven early in the morning, rightafter sunrise. Our little nooboo is a green- skinned, black-eyed, red- haired little charmer named Samwise, Sammy for short. Yes, he’s named after the hobbit. I am a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge Tolkien nerd. I actually came this close to naming gen. 3’s Gabi Galadriel. Samwise seems a bit more normal so I’m sticking this baby with it.
Oh joy! Lexie performs the handoff andwe all know what that means. But wait– why is Penny receiving nooboonumber one instead of Palmer? Well,he thought the middle of the birth of hisfirstborn was a good time to go cleanthe dog bed. When he comes back, helets Maddie know he had a baby.“I know, fool! Unlike some people, Iwas here for it.”
Yay! The cheesecake paid off and they hadtwins! With the extra adult (Penny) in thehouse, we can only get away with threechildren so the next pregnancy will also becheesecaked so I can slip in an extra child fora total of 4. Baby number two also has black eyes and red hair, but has skintone number three. I love the black eyes with the normal skin! It looks like Palmer’s genetics are highly heritable. We name the second-born Sebastian.
The new parents are fairly occupied, butwhat’s going on with the elders? Well,Maddie continues to be a ridiculous tubpirate, and both Maddie and Max completetheir second LTW of becoming celebritychefs. Palmer and Lexie couldn’t try for babyagain, so I realize I have to get rid of one ofthe dogs and I let Kiki go. Max is close to allthe dogs and is distraught when the officercomes for Kiki. I felt very bad, but two kids isclearly inadequate for a Vermachtnisgeneration.
Just a few days later and it’s the babies’ birthday. I hope they getPalmer’s big eyes!
Well, Sammy has big eyes thoughnot quite as big as Palmer’s were atthis age. Sebastian has normal sizeeyes, but he’s a cutie nonetheless.Both the boys are pretty adorable,but Sebastian has that extrasomething that puts him over thetop. You can’t tell with their unrulyhair, but both boys have pointy earsas well.Sammy’s personality is 7/8/9/10/1.Sebastian’s is 10/8/4/10/0. Lookslike the mean gene is pretty strong.I wonder if we’ll get anyone evenjust moderately mean thisgeneration.
“I, Sergeant-At-Arms Madeleine Vermachtnis, call this meeting to order.”“And I, President Maxwell Vermachtnis, would like to welcome you all totoday’s meeting of the Idiots’ Club. First order of business: we’ll stand aroundin the nursery and ‘hang loose’ at each other for several hours. Sound good?First, though, let’s read the minutes from yesterday. Secretary LexieVermachtnis?”“Present. Yesterday, we stood around in the nursery and ‘hung loose’ at eachother for several hours.”“Excellent.”
“It’s so nice of you guys to bake me dessert when I’m pregnant. Youknow how hungry I get. And I am so glad the cheesecake isn’t burnt thistime. I don’t get why it’s always cheesecake, though.”“You legacy women never do at first. You’ll get there eventually, dear.”
The Wall O’ Portraits is right in the middle of everything upstairs, so theelders often stop to look at them all. There’s something very symbolicabout Max gazing at the last red-headed man to lead the legacy.
First as babies and then as toddlers,the twins get a lot of attention withfive adults in the house. They arevery loved by all of their relatives andlearned all their toddler skills, andthen were often played with in thenursery.
Lexie’s second pregnancy comes to an end and she gives birth to . . . one baby.That’s . . . that’s not acceptable, Lexie. So here’s how it works, apparently.Cheesecake will give you the ninth sim in the house, but it will not give you theeleventh sim plus pet in the house. Boo.Anyway, kid number three is named Sean, and has all the same coloring as olderbrother Sammy.
“Penny, we can’t have just three kids. We just can’t. That’s only happenedonce before in this legacy and that was before we really knew what wewere doing. I was wondering if you would mind moving out so we could tryagain. And could you take Rolf with you? We desperately need the spaceto try for twins.”“Sure, Palmer. I’ve got some plans of my own anyway. No hard feelings.”“Plans of your own, huh? I wonder if they include Malcolm . . .”
This moment of wrongness has been brought to you by Freetime.
With three little sims in the house – soon to be five - and all four (nowminus Penny) adults working, someone needs to stay home, so thatsomeone is Maddie and she retires.Palmer’s LTW is to become Education Minister. Lexie’s is to becomeCelebrity Chef. Thankfully they both got easy LTWs but they need towork to get there. Max stays employed because it keeps him out of myhair for three days out of the week.
I know everyone else is probably over it by now, but hey, I just got upto date with all my EPs and I adore this little table. The boys are socute playing at it, they get to learn a different skill, and they makefriends while they do it! How great is that?These pictures are mostly here just because they’re really sweet.
Like his brothers before him, Sean is a very well cared for baby.I’m a little frustrated that we got another boy. Palmer’sgeneration had four boys and only one girl and I’m afraid I’mgoing to end up with a generation of ALL boys. My game seemsto be rather fond of them at the moment. The last three birthsbefore this – in the Masterpiece legacy – were all boys too.
DID YOU KNOW? – PALMER FAQDid you know? Even as an adult with lots of responsibilities,Palmer still works in plenty of bathtub time. He’s very good atsneaking away to play in it! Now you know! Knowledge is power!
The twins have a birthday and continue tobe very cute. It’s more obvious thatSammy has more of Lexie’s genes and Sebis an unabashed cutie pie. Their first dayat school, they bring home two distant,also red-haired cousins: Ethan and MorrisJr. Vermachtnis, the sons of Morris andLydia Vermachtnis.
That evening, Morris comes over to collect his sonsbut not before a little inane gossip with fellowAcademie Le Tour alumni Madeleine. “Did youhear?” she asks. “My not-son got married!”“I know,” he sighs. “I was there. Remember, I gotinto a fight? Oh yeah, I was there.”
The twins are both a little strange in their own ways. Seb is super neat sohe really enjoys cleaning things autonomously, just like his dad. Sammyseems to be a genius and learned things very quickly as a toddler. As achild, he continues to learn quickly but he also keeps desiring to raise hismechanical skill. I rarely see children so interested in skilling.
Sean’s birthday! Everyone – including baby Sean in the very middle ofgrowing up – is fascinated by the bunny man that came home withLexie from work.And Sean is a clone of Samwise. Damn you, firstborn effect! I hadhonestly forgotten all about it until I looked at Sean’s face andpersonality. So now we have two big-eyed aliens with the samepersonality. Super. At least they’re cute.
“Say ‘bottle’, Sean.”“Okay, okay. Bottle. What’s the big deal?”Ooh, looks like we got ourselves another genius. Sean is very quickto learn his skills.
Cuteness in the playroom!As usual, Zoe finds her way right into the middle of everything andlures Sean away from the table for some cuddling. I love it whenthe dogs approach a sim for a little love. Now that she’s the onlydog in the house (since Rolf moved out with Penelope) Zoe needsall her socializing from the Vermachtnises, but that bar isn’tbottoming out any time soon with all the loving she gets, especiallyfrom the kids.
An epidemic of best friend-ism isgoing around at the Vermachtnishouse. With the help of the playtable, all three of the boys are fastfriends with each other. The kidsare also best friends with most ofthe adults in the house. There’splenty of BFFing going on too asthe kids get older and know theirparents and grandparents longenough. All three of them gotplenty of cuddling and play asbabies so they had a good headstart on friendship with the oldersims.
With the space provided by Penny and Rolf moving out, Palmer and Lexie areable to try for baby again. Lexie is once again fed cheesecake and we sit andwait for the final kids of this generation.Throughout most of her pregnancies, Lexie has continued to work. She getspretty hungry when she’s pregnant but otherwise doesn’t seem to mind it at all. If Roxy Masterpiece is the worst pregnant sim I’ve ever had, Lexie is probablythe best.
Finally the birth comes and the cheesecakeworked – we have two adorable new babies. Both babies have Palmer’s blue eyes. Thefirst baby, on the right, is a boy named Sidwho is the only baby with Palmer’s brownhair. On the left, we finally have . . . A GIRL! Little Sasha is another red-headed greenbaby. I’m so happy that we finally got a girlbut I thought it was funny that two gens in arow have four boys and one girl.
“Hey, a new nursery! We can relocate the Idiots’ Club meetings! Hangloose everyone!”
“. . . So I said, what is this, the aerospace museum?”“Ha ha, good one, Sean. Your wit is as fast and clever as a spinningtop.”“Truly, the pieces of that joke fell into place like a puzzle.”Oh, who am I kidding? It went like this:“I like toys.” “Me too.” “Me three.”
Seb and Sammy are both adorable in their own way, but I thinkSebastian really wins the cuteness contest . . . and paper, rock,scissors. After all their time together in the nursery and at theplay table, they’ve grown up to be besties and they spend alltheir free time playing one game or another together. Exceptfor brief spells of hanging out with Morris’ kids, they’re alwaystogether.
Oh lady, you picked the wrong family to fight. Another one ofLexie’s coworkers causes a different kind of commotion bypicking a fight with Maddie for no apparent reason, but Maddiegives as good as she gets. Little miss coworker had better watchherself from now on.
We’ve got a triple birthday todayas Sean and the younger twinsare all growing up. Thecelebration takes place in thebabies’ nursery because it has themost room at the moment.Everyone is there to celebrate asthey sparkle and twirl.
“Hey, perfect time to recruit for the Idiots’ Club. Boys, watch this!”
Here’s Sean as an adorable little nerd. Even though he’s a clone I wanthim to have his own identity. For now he’s staying in the older twins’room until the toddler twins grow up. Then he’ll share a bedroom withSid and Sasha will get her own. Until then, though, the toddlers aresharing a nursery and we cram three boys into one room.
And her’s our little twins. Sasha got the big eyes! Yay! She’s so cute! Both twinshave the pointy ears so that makes five kids with pointy ears! Except for the ears,Sid didn’t get any alien traits and his face, especially his eyes, shows a lot ofevidence of his mother. To make him stand out even more, he’s the only nice simof the generation with a whopping 10 points!Sid’s personality is 4/7/10/4/10.Sasha’s is 8/8/10/1/0.I’m really happy with this generation. All the kids turned out cute and a lot of thealien genetics came through.
Now for a little story time. Let’s catchup with Penelope after she left the mainhouse.I had originally wanted her to stay toprovide the platinum cheese grave, buttwo things changed my mind. First, wereally did need the extra space.Secondly, her lifetime want wasn’t asdifficult to accomplish as I originallythought, so I can redo it with an heirbefore the end of the legacy. It was ahard decision for me though becausePenelope was actually my favorite, evenover Palmer (though only by a little).Penny may be my fave but Palmer is theheir and the heirs get what they want.Now it’s time to resolve this conflict.When Penny moved out, she quicklyinvited Malcolm to move in with her.They moved to a mansion called TheCheese Palace, decked out in Penny’scolors of pink, orange, and yellow andgot busy celebrating their new life.
Meanwhile, Palmer contemplated his stolen picture of Malcolm in his lab. He feltconflicted. Did his love for Penny win out over his hatred of Malcolm? His hatredwas pretty strong – he had been nursing it since childhood. Plus, Palmer was aperfectionist and hated to leave projects unfinished.He decided to have a conversation with Malcolm and try to sort out his feelings.
“I’m going to make you a deal that youshould consider very carefully,” Palmersaid. “Leave my sister alone and I’ll spareyour life.”“Not a chance,” Malcolm replied.“Besides,” he laughed. “Who else is goingto ever love a cheese freak like Penelope?I’m just marrying her to get in on thatVermachtnis fortune. I am a fortune sim,after all, and I know how these things work– freak or no.”“You take that back!”“Make me!”“I think I will! I didn’t like you before andthat was when I thought you actually hadher best interests in mind. You’ll regretthis, Landgraab. I’m going to mess up yourlittle plan to get your hands on our money.”“Yeah, over my dead body.”“That can be arranged,” Palmer said icily.
“This better be one good apology toinvite me over in the middle of the nightfor,” Malcolm said testily.“Sure, sure,” Palmer replied. “But first,have you seen this plant? It’s probablyworth millions of dollars!”“What are you talking about . . . Ooh,cake!”A deep crunch echoed through HRH asthe cowplant’s jaws snapped shut.
A few minutes later, Penelope ran up. “I heard that Malcolm was comingover and he said he was going to beat you up. I came to warn you!” shesaid, out of breath. “Wait, where is Malcolm?” Then she noticed thegrave. “Oh no! He found the cowplant before he could get to you! Oh,Malcolm,” she cried.“That’s . . . exactly what happened,” Palmer lied. The deep satisfactionhe had been savoring moments before cracked as his stomach sank atthe sound of Penelope’s sobs.
“Penny, you actually cared for him,” Palmersaid softly.“Of course I did!” she said, her voice suddenlysharp. “And now he’s gone!” Her wail ofanguish made the cowplant shudder. Palmerthought for a moment.“Look,” he said. “There’s still something wecan do. We have this old legacy artifact thatcan bring people back from the dead. It’s aresurrection phone – I saw it in storage when Iwas little. You just call up the reaper and payhim to resurrect Malcolm. I mean, I’ll evenpony up the money. Just pay whatever youthink is right.”“Oh Palmer! You’d do that for me? But it’snot necessary. Malcolm was a frugal man.He’ll be furious if I resurrect him for afortune.”“I’m sure that’s true, Penny,” Palmer repliedwith a wry grin. “Go ahead and lowball Death. . . Malcolm should appreciate that.”
Palmer carried the resurrection phone out from the storage area under thehouse, sweating and breathing hard. “It’s a lot heavier than I thought,” hesaid, wiping his brow. Penny simply hugged him.He stood by while Penelope picked up the phone and dialed. He hoped thathis gamble would pay off. Since he had planned on leaving Malcolm deaduntil he saw Penny’s grief, he hadn’t thought the plan through carefully.Would Malcolm’s return make things even worse? He knew the change thatwas coming . . . could it possibly make Malcolm a better man?A blinding orange flash lit up the neighborhood for miles around, and from acloud of sulfurous smoke there came a deep groan . . .
“Hey man, thanks for the idea to resurrect me. I never even saw that cowplant coming. Weird, huh?” “Very,” Palmer replied. “I’m just so happy to be back. This . . . this changes everything. Thank you both!” Palmer winked. “Don’t mention it . . . brother.” Malcolm sat down on the couch with a sigh and wrapped his arm around Penny with a smile.“You guys,” he said. “I have a new lease on life. Er,death. Or unlife. Whatever I have, I’m a changed man. I had an epiphany on the other side.” He took Penny’shand in his and said, “I never did right by you, butthat’s behind us now. From here on out, my life is justfamily . . . and cheese.” Penny smiled and Palmerlaughed, saying “A happy ending for us all.”
That night, after they had waved goodbyeto Palmer and he faded in the distance,Malcolm pulled something from his pocket.“When I bought this, I didn’t do it for theright reasons, but I am now. PenelopeVermachtnis, will you marry me?”Penelope shrieked. “Of course!” Beforethe rings had faded from over their heads,they were married. “It’s a good thing, too,”she said, opening her coat to reveal herrounded belly. “Just in time.”
Malcolm and Penelope Vermachtniswent on to have three children. Fromtop left clockwise we have brothersCaleb and Vance, and their sisterBethany. They lived a life full of loveand cheese, and Malcolm became thehusband that Penelope deserved.The End.
Thanks for reading, everyone! Check back next time to answer theseburning questions:Will sensitive Sid survive a household of meanies? (probably)Will Palmer and Lexie reach their very easy LTWs? (yes, duh)And who will become the generation 7 heir? (actually a good question)Thanks again and I’ll see you at SiMania!
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