GETTING UNDERWAY WITH THE WIND AT YOUR BACK

LIFE FOR TEENS IS NO PLAYGROUND It is a maze full of right or wrong turns-right or wrong choices. Parents can teach teens skills to help them make better choices.

“ WE CAN’T MAKE THEIR DECISIONS FOR THEM, BUT WE CAN GIVE THEM THE RIGHT TOOLS THEY NEED TO MAKE RIGHT DECISIONS.”

NAVIGATION NECESSITIES What are Effective Teens Choices Based on? PRINCIPLES

Are they reactive or proactive ? Do they know where they are going ? Do they prioritize the things they have to do? Do they see life as a competition ? Do they talk first and then pretend to listen or listen actively ? Do they cooperate with others or do they think they are better off doing everything by themselves? 7. Are they so busy with life that they do not have time to: Spend quality time with family and friends To do their homework Read good books Exercise Take time for nature or other inspirational things? What is an effective teen?

Are they reactive or proactive ?

Do they know where they are going ?

Do they prioritize the things they have to do?

Do they see life as a competition ?

Do they talk first and then pretend to listen or listen actively ?

Do they cooperate with others or do they think they are

better off doing everything by themselves?

7. Are they so busy with life that they do not have time to:

Spend quality time with family and friends

To do their homework

Read good books

Exercise

Take time for nature or other inspirational things?

PARADIGM The way you see something, your point of view, frame of reference, or belief.

What is a paradigm shift? A paradigm shift is a way of looking at something differently. We are stepping “outside the box”. When we make a paradigm shift we can see, think, feel and behave differently. Example: Ptolemy thought the earth was the center of the universe. Copernicus believed the sun was the center of the universe. (a paradigm shift occurred)

Frank Koch wrote: Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow." "Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out. Lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant we were on a collision course. The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees." Back came the reply, "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees." The captain said, "Send, I'm a captain, change course 20 degrees." "I am a seaman second class" came the reply. "You had better change course 20 degrees." By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send, I'm a battleship. Change course 20 degrees." Back came the reply, "I'm a lighthouse." We changed course. Steven Covey (in “The 7 habits of Highly Effective People”) tells that story to teach that principles are “like lighthouses.” They are natural laws that cannot be broken.”

RESPECT To show regard or value for someone or something.

Emotional Bank Account Like a checking or savings account, you can make deposits or withdrawals. Personal -How you feel about yourself. (Amount of trust and confidence in yourself.) Relationship -How you feel about others. (Amount of trust and confidence you have in each of your relationships)

Personal Bank Account Deposits Keep promises to yourself Do small acts of kindness Be gentle with yourself Be honest in all your dealings Enhance your talents Take care of yourself Think positively and use positive self-talk

Keep promises to yourself

Do small acts of kindness

Be gentle with yourself

Be honest in all your dealings

Enhance your talents

Take care of yourself

Think positively and use positive self-talk

Personal Bank Account Withdrawals Break promises to yourself Isolate yourself Put yourself down Think negatively and use negative self-talk Be dishonest with yourself Neglect your talents Wear yourself out Expect yourself to be perfect

Break promises to yourself

Isolate yourself

Put yourself down

Think negatively and use negative self-talk

Be dishonest with yourself

Neglect your talents

Wear yourself out

Expect yourself to be perfect

Relationship Bank Account Deposits Keep promises to others Do small acts of kindness Be loyal to those not present Listen actively Say you are sorry Set clear expectations Allow others to be different

Keep promises to others

Do small acts of kindness

Be loyal to those not present

Listen actively

Say you are sorry

Set clear expectations

Allow others to be different

Relationship Bank Account Withdrawals Break promises Keep to yourself Gossip and break confidences Do not listen Be arrogant Set false expectations

Break promises

Keep to yourself

Gossip and break confidences

Do not listen

Be arrogant

Set false expectations

7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens Habit 1 Be Proactive Habit 2 Begin With The End in Mind Habit 3 Put First Things First Habit 4 Think Win-win Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Habit 6 Synergize Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw

Habit 1 Be Proactive Teenagers are the product of their environment, upbringing, and choices. Are their choices proactive or reactive? They need to take responsibility for their choices and their life.

Teenagers are the product of their environment, upbringing, and choices. Are their choices proactive or reactive? They need to take responsibility for their choices

and their life.

CIRCLE OF NO CONTROL CIRCLE OF CONTROL Attitudes Weather Birthplace Parents What other people say and do Choices & Responses Ourselves

Habit 2 Begin With the End in Mind Define their mission and goals. Values are self-chosen & provide foundations for decision making about where they are going in life.

Define their mission and goals. Values are self-chosen & provide foundations for decision making about where they are going in life.

Habit 3 Put First Things First Prioritize Actions flow from that which is important.

Prioritize

Actions flow from that which is important.

Habit 4 Think Win-win Mutual Benefits. Have an “ everyone can win” attitude. Win-win is like an all you can eat buffet.

Mutual Benefits.

Have an

“ everyone can win” attitude.

Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Communication solves problems. Listen to people sincerely.

Communication solves problems.

Listen to people sincerely.

Habit 6 Synergize Open-mindedness. Teamwork. New ways to do things. Work together to achieve more. Celebrate differences. A fruit salad is delicious precisely because each fruit maintains its own flavor.

Open-mindedness. Teamwork. New ways to do things. Work together to achieve more.

Celebrate differences.

A fruit salad is delicious precisely because each fruit maintains its own flavor.

Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw Continuous self-renewal and self-improvement in: your brain your heart your body your soul

Continuous self-renewal and self-improvement in:

SOLUTION ORIENTED PROBLEM SOLVING 1. Name the problem, and who owns it. (Be sure it is the REAL problem) 2. Describe it specifically. (Name the parts of the problem.) 3. Brainstorm. (Name all the solutions you can think of, no matter how crazy they may seem.) 4. Think about each solution: Does it honor the values of your parents, yourself, and others whom you respect? Would it solve the problem? Would it affect yourself and others for better or worse? 5. Choose a solution, and act on it. 6. Evaluate the outcome: Is the problem solved? Did the solution produce the results you expected? How did the solution fit with your feelings and values? Did the solution fail to meet your or the other party’s needs in any way? What else happened? Would another solution work better?

SOLUTION ORIENTED PROBLEM SOLVING

1. Name the problem, and who owns it. (Be sure it is the REAL problem)

2. Describe it specifically. (Name the parts of the problem.)

3. Brainstorm. (Name all the solutions you can think of, no matter how crazy they may seem.)

4. Think about each solution:

Does it honor the values of your parents, yourself, and others whom you respect?

Would it solve the problem?

Would it affect yourself and others for better or worse?

5. Choose a solution, and act on it.

6. Evaluate the outcome:

Is the problem solved?

Did the solution produce the results you expected?

How did the solution fit with your feelings and values?

Did the solution fail to meet your or the other party’s needs in any way?

What else happened?

Would another solution work better?

Expected Outcomes Increased engagement and motivation Greater responsibility for learning Increased peer collaboration skills Greater confidence and self-esteem Increased listening skills Greater content mastery Better peer collaboration More time on task More skill in analyzing and solving problems

Expected Outcomes

Increased engagement and motivation

Greater responsibility for learning

Increased peer collaboration skills

Greater confidence and self-esteem

Increased listening skills

Greater content mastery

Better peer collaboration

More time on task

More skill in analyzing and solving problems

GETTING UNDERWAY WITH THE 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens