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Rajini can't do



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  • 1. 8 t SCREEN I MONDAY 4 OCTOBER 2010 FUNSPACE AS ENDHIRAN FEVER GRIPS THE COUNTRY — LET’S REMIND OURSELVES ONCE AGAIN WHY THERE IS WONLY VUN RAJINI! ● When Rajinikanth does ● Rajinikanth kills two kicked one of the corners off. those scars. ● Rajinikanth killed ● Rajinikanth can give pain push-ups, he isn’t lifting him- stones with one bird. ● Rajinikanth can build a ● Rajinikanth once warned a Spiderman using Baygon to painkillers and headache self up. He is pushing the ● Rajinikanth killed the Dead snowman out of rain. young girl to be good “or Anti Bug Spray . to Anacin. earth down. Sea. ● Rajinikanth can watch the else”. The result? Mother ● Rajinikanth puts the ● Rajinikanth knows what ● There is no such thing as ● Rajinikanth gave Mona show 60 Minutes in 20 min- Teresa. ‘laughter’ in manslaughter. women really want. evolution, it’s just a list of Lisa that smile. utes. ● Rajinikanth electrocuted ● Rajinikanth goes to court ● Time and tide wait for creatures that Rajinikanth ● Rajinikanth can drown a Iron Man. and sentences the judge. Rajinikanth. allowed to live. fish. ● Rajinikanth can handle the ● As a child when ● Rajinikanth can divide by ● Rajinikanth once got into a truth. Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he zero. fight with a VCR player. Now ● Rajinikanth can teach an simply re-scripted the alpha- ● Rajinikanth can judge a it plays DVDs. RAJINIKANTH HIS EMAIL old dog new tricks. bet. book by its cover. ● Rajinikanth once ● Rajinikanth grinds his cof- ● Rajinikanth doesn’t need a ● Rajinikanth can delete the ordered a plate of idli KNOWS WHICH ID IS GMAIL@ fee with his teeth and boils visa to travel abroad, he just Recycle Bin. CAME FIRST, the water with his own rage. jumps from the tallest build- ● Rajinikanth can slam a RAJINIKANTH. ● The last time Rajinikanth ing in Chennai and holds revolving door. THE CHICKEN COM killed someone, he slapped himself in the air while the ● Rajinikanth once kicked a OR THE EGG himself to do it. The other earth rotates. horse in the chin. Its descen- guy just disintegrated. ● Rajinikanth’s brain works dants are today called Resonance. faster than Chacha giraffes. ● Rajinikanth can lick his Chaudhary’s. ● Rajinikanth can make elbows. ● Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. onions cry . He only takes blood baths. ● Rajinikanth destroyed ● To be or not to be? That is the periodic table, because the question. The answer? he only recognises the Rajinikanth. element of surprise. ● The quickest way to a ● Rajinikanth once got man’s heart is with into a knife-fight. The Rajinikanth’s fist. knife lost. ● Where there is a will, there ● Rajinikanth never RAJINIKANTH is a way Where there is . wet his bed as a CAN STRANGLE Rajinikanth, there is no other child. The bed wet way . itself in fear. YOU WITH A ● Rajinikanth doesn’t bowl ● Rajinikanth does CORDLESS strikes, he just knocks down not own a stove, one pin and the other nine oven, or PHONE faint out of fear. microwave, ● Archaeologists unearthed because revenge is an old English dictionary dat- a dish best served ing back to the year 1236. It cold. defined “victim” as “one ● Rajinikanth has who has encountered already been to Rajinikanth”. Mars, that’s why THERE IS NO SUCH ● Once a cobra bit there is no sign of life Rajinikanth’s leg. there. THING AS GLOBAL After five days of ● Rajinikanth doesn’t WARMING. RAJINIKANTH excruciating move at the speed of pain, the cobra light. Light moves at the WAS FEELING COLD, SO died. speed of Rajinikanth. ● Rajinikanth is ● When you say ‘no one is HE BROUGHT THE SUN a champion in perfect’, Rajinikant takes this as a person- CLOSER TO HEAT THE the game hide-n- seek, as no one can al insult. EARTH UP hide from ● Google won’t RAJINIKANTH’S Rajinikanth. find Rajinikanth CALENDAR GOES ● Rajinikanth proves because you don’t Newton wrong all the time. find Rajinikanth; STRAIGHT FROM RAJINIKANTH Every time he performs an Rajinikanth finds MARCH 31 TO DOESN’T action, he simply elimi- you. nates anything and ● Rajinikanth APRIL 2. NO ONE BREATHE. AIR RAJINIKANTH’S everything that can leaves messages FOOLS NEXT FILM IS HIDES IN HIS RAJINIKANTH provide the reaction. before the beep. RAJINIKANTH ● Rajinikanth is a ● Rajinikanth calls CALLED TWITTER LUNGS FOR CAN ANSWER A weapon created by god Voldemort by his name. — HE PLAYS 140 PROTECTION MISSED CALL to use on doomsday to ● Rajinikanth is so fast, end the world. he can run around the world CHARACTERS ● Aliens do indeed exist. and punch himself in the They just know better than back of the head. to visit a planet that ● Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a Rajinikanth is on. watch. He decides what time RAJINIKANTH ● Rajinikanth does not style it is. ● Rajinikanth once ate an his hair. It lays perfectly in ● In an average living room KNOWS WORDS LIKE entire bottle of sleeping place out of sheer terror. there are 1,242 objects AWESOMENESS, pills. They made him ● When Rajinikanth plays Rajinikanth could use to kill VICTORIA’S ● Rajinikanth will BRILLIANCE, blink. Monopoly it affects the world , you, including the room itself. attain separate state- ● Rajinikanth does economy . ● When Rajinikanth is asked SECRET hood in 2013. LEGENDARY ETC WERE not get frostbite. ● Rajinikanth is the only to kill someone he doesn’t ● Rajinikanth did, in ADDED TO THE Rajinikanth bites man to ever defeat a brick know, he shoots the bullet and fact, build Rome in a frost. wall in a game of tennis. directs it the day he finds out. day. DICTIONARY IN THE ● Rajinikanth got his ● Rajinikanth’s house has no ● Rajinikanth has counted to ● Rajinikanth can YEAR 1949. THAT WAS drivers licence at the doors, only walls that he infinity twice. , in McDonald’s, and got it. play the violin with a age of 16 seconds. walks through. ● There are no weapons of ● Rajinikanth can win at piano. THE YEAR ● The statement mass destruction in Iraq. Solitaire with only 18 cards. ● Rajinikanth kills RAJINIKANTH “nobody can cheat death”, Rajinikanth lives in Chennai. ● The Bermuda Triangle Harry Potter in the eighth WAS BORN is a personal insult to ● Water boils faster when used to be the Bermuda book. Rajinikanth. He cheats and Add to this list. Rajinikanth stares at it. Square, until Rajinikanth ● Rajinikanth gave the Joker fools death everyday. Tell t2@abpmail.com