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Steven  Vitto Breaking down the walls for parents of defiant children at  challenge of the children conference 2010
 

Steven Vitto Breaking down the walls for parents of defiant children at challenge of the children conference 2010

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PRESENTATION BY STEVEN VITTO AT CHALLENGE OF CHILDREN CONFERENCE IN HOLLAND MICHIGAN 2010

PRESENTATION BY STEVEN VITTO AT CHALLENGE OF CHILDREN CONFERENCE IN HOLLAND MICHIGAN 2010
STRATEGIES FOR DEFIANT CHILDREN

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  • On the individual level, knowing why should always be our goal and effective treatment should be the result So how do we find out why? Through the process of functional assessment.
  • “ Fix” tasks-tell question/answer ahead of time; prepare student that he will be called on, read story ahead of time. Behavior Momentum: slip in non-preferred task into series of preferred activities Ex. Hey you just earned yourself a token. Hey, good job, slap me five. Way to go! Open your book. Nicer job coming in from lunch. Give yourself a pat on the back. Take out your math book. Prompt incompatible: knitting/eating; carrying books/walking in line bothering people Any attention-good or bad; Donald Graves activity

Steven  Vitto Breaking down the walls for parents of defiant children at  challenge of the children conference 2010 Steven Vitto Breaking down the walls for parents of defiant children at challenge of the children conference 2010 Presentation Transcript

  • BREAKING DOWN THE WALLS Strategies for Defiant Children Presented by: Steven Vitto, M.A., CCII., CTCI., MIBLSI Coach, Behavior Specialist, Muskegon Area ISD The 2010 Challenge of Children Conference
    • The key to controlling someone else is teaching them how to control you!!
  • DEFIANCE What it looks like…
  • The Grocery Store
  • Positive Parenting
  • Lets begin at the end of the journey: Adulthood YOUR CHILDREN
    • What are your dreams for them?
    • What do you want them to be like?
    • What qualities to you hope they will possess?
    • What lifes skills do you believe they will need?
    • What is the most important gift you can give them?
    • What kind of relationship do you want them to have with you?
  • Hopeful Responses
    • Character
    • Caring
    • Confident
    • Decent
    • Law Abiding
    • Assertive
    • Trustworthy
    • Honest
    • Healthy
    • Drug Free
    • Happy and Well Adjusted
    • Successful
  • What influences the way you parent?
    • The way you were parented.
    • What you feel is right.
    • How someone has told you to parent.
    • What the research says.
    • What healthy adults say.
    • What unhealthy adults say.
  • The research is clear. In over 10,000 studies conducted all over the world, the most common variable associated with a child having a healthy social emotional adjustment is: a. strict discipline and limit b. consistent punitive consequences for bad behaviors c. being your child’s friend d. rewarding good behavior e. believing that they are loved Multiple Choice
  • The research is clear. In over 10,000 studies conducted all over the world the most common variable associated with a child having a hearty social emotional adjustment is:
    • :
    e. believing that they are loved by you!!
  • So how do we get there????
    • We walk the talk.
    • We model the behavior we want to see in them.
    • We learn how to listen.
    • We learn how to forgive.
    • We teach and guide rather than punish and control.
    • We are consistent and fair
    • We are firm
    • We are fun
  • Always show your child that they come first, that they are the most import thing in your life
    • "To the world you might be one person, but to one person, you might be the world." -Anonymous
  • But surely their needs to be consequences, but….
    • Consequences should be viewed as an opportunity to teach
    • Punitive Consequences are the least effective way to change “bad” behavior
    • So what changes bad behavior?
    • Teaching, loving, guiding, listening, relating, investing time, loving, and enforcing limits that are fair and built on trust!!!!
  • What about spare the rod??? “The Rod” was intended to be a symbol of guidance. There is no record of Jesus EVER encouraging parents to hit their children!!!
    • What message do we send kids when we hit them?
    • Do we want our children to fear us or turn to us for guidance?
    • Will hitting them when they make a mistake increase the liklihood of coming to us with a problem???
    • Absolutely NOT!!!
  • The Conflict Cycle DO WE FEED INTO THE CONFLICT CYCLE?
  • Stress Model of Crisis TCI TRAINING [5]
  • THE VERBAL ESCALATION CONTINUUM
    • Questioning
    • Refusal
    • Release
    • Intimidation
    • Tension Reduction
  • All Children Need Boundaries
    • What happens whe we are inconsistent?
    • What happens when we blame others?
    • What happens we make excuses?
    • (an “ability” persperctive)?
    • What happens when we are divided?
    • How do we advocate therapeutically?
  • Authoritarian Parenting Style
    • Rigid, controlling
    • Demanding
    • Punitive
    • Unreasonable expectations
    • Adult-like job, chores
    • Parent always right
    • Parent makes decisions
    • Little affection, warmth
    • Unexpressed ideas, feelings
    • Parent in control
    • Little encouragement, praise
    Building Strong Families – Positive Discipline Overhead #1 Minimally Effective and more likely to create defiance in children
  • Permissive Parenting Style
    • Parent avoids control
    • High level of nurturing, communication
    • Few rules, guidelines
    • Inconsistent
    • Parent easily frustrated
    • Few expectations
    • Few demands
    • Few social rules
    • Parent behaves as friend
    • Obedience not encouraged
    • NOT EFFECTIVE
  • Authoritative Parenting Style
    • Parent clearly in charge
    • Firm guidelines
    • Flexible boundaries
    • High level of communication
    • Respects ideas, feelings, emotions
    • Mutual respect
    • Teamwork, give and take
    • Parent accepts uniqueness
    • Allows for mistakes
    • Reasonable expectations
    • Appropriate responsibilities
    • Healthy role modeling
    • Encourages independence
    • Affectionate
    MOST EFFECTIVE PARENTING STYLE
  • The Origin of Defiance
    • In general, parents who are very rule-oriented or rigid are more apt to set up monumental power struggles with the defiant child.
    • When they also often take the child's behavior personally, seeing his negativity as aimed directly at them instead of as an attempt to organize his world, the situation is compounded. "He's just doing that to make me angry
  • Behavior Mantra: “ It is easier to prevent a behavior from occurring than to deal with it after it has happened.” The best intervention is prevention!! Bausano & Vitto, 2007 Slide 18
  • Learn your child’s triggers Contra-Indicated Behaviors Strategies for the Oppositional Student
    • Ultimatums
    • Strict Boundaries: Drawing the Line in the Sand
    • Counts, Warnings, Threats
    • Being touched
    • Prolonged Eye-Contact
    • Infringing on Personal Space
    • Social Disapproval
    • Judgmental Responses
    • Response Cost and Punishment
    • Strict Boundaries or Contracts
  • Are response cost systems contributing to defiance and aggression?
    • Are we using evidenced based behavior management ?
    • Is there a balance, better yet, an overbalance of Positive Incentives and Feedback for Desired Behavior?
    • Are we over-relying response cost systems to manage behaviors (i.e. taking things away)?
    • Power and control approaches can backfire with the oppositional child resulting in passive aggressive attempts to maintain control.
  • The Parenting Tips Booklet Positive Approaches for Challenging Behaviors   Developed by Susan Mack, MA Steven Vitto, MA MAISD Behavioral Consultants A POSITIVE BEHAVIORAL SUPPORTS PROJECT
  • Basic Principles of Positive Behavior Support
    • “ If you know why, you can figure out how….”
    • All behaviors meet needs
    • Positive approaches teach children a better way to meet needs
    • One of the best ways of teaching desired behaviors is by modeling them
    • When it comes to children, we need to “walk the talk.”
  • Recognize that all behaviors meet needs. The needs are:
    • To obtain or avoid:
            • Attention
            • Task or Activity
            • Item
            • Person
            • Power and Control
            • Sensory
  • WHAT CAN I DO TO GET THAT KIND OF REACTION AGAIN?
  • Behaviors Meet Needs
  • Behaviors Meet Needs
  • The Use of Rewards
    • 5:1 Positives to Negatives
    • Always pair with Relationship
    • Do not use rewards to punish or control
    • Concrete and Immediate Depending on Child’s Age
    • Intermittent Schedule
  • STRATEGIES FOR DEFIANCE
    • An explanation of the diagram can be found on the slides that follow.
  • An Initial Line of Inquiry Strengths of student: What the student does well. Student’s strengths, gifts, & talents. Slow Triggers (Setting Events) Fast Triggers (Antecedents) Behavior Problem Actual Consequences Perceived Function Events that may occur before and/or during the targeted response that causes the student to respond to a “typical” situation in an “atypical” way. Specific conditions, events, or activities that make the problem behavior worse? (missed medication, history, Lack of sleep, illness, ADHD, temperament, Generalized Anxiety, etc. Events with a discrete onset and offset, that occur immediately before the challenging behavior (e.g., task demand, correction, social disapproval, conflict with sibling, change in routine An observable and measurable description of the behavior(s) of concern (“No” I won’t do it.”” I did not!!” Those events that occur after the behavior (e.g., peer attention, escape task) or as a result of the behavior (e.g., time out, spanking, loss of privilage) What usually happens after the behavior occurs? (e.g., parental reactions, other sibling’ reactions, power struggle …) Obtain Attention Escape or Avoid Avoid adult control Obtain Sensory
  • What are the triggers or antecedents of your child’s behavior?
    • Given a group or individual direction
    • Given a demand to perform a task or routine
    • Expectation to follow a rule or expectation
    • (keep hands to self, wait your turn, sit quietly)
    • The removal or reduction of direct adult supervision
    • (outside, sibling interactions, playing with friends, alone time)
    • Limited access to a preferred item or activity
    • Expectation to terminate a desired activity
    • Being told “no” or “not now”
    • Behavior targets peers and/or adults, or specific adults
    • (e.g., mom or dad)
  • Consequences What are the consequences when your child engages in the problem behavior
    • Ignoring
    • Reprimands and social disapproval
    • Looses privileges or rewards at home
    • Time out
    • Forced compliance
    • Gets attention from adults and peers
    • Gets different reactions from different adults
    • Spanked or punished at home
    • Gets more attention than sibling
    • Gets out of non-preferred tasks or activities
    • Spanked
    • Other
  • Setting Events
    • What are the causes of defiant behavior?
  • What is Oppositional Defiance Disorder?
  • Definition of ODD
    • Oppositional Defiant Disorder is the persistent pattern (lasting for at least 6 months) of disobedient, hostile, negativistic, and defiant behavior in a child or teen without serious violation of the basic rights of others (mentalhealth.com).
      • If a student displays the same kinds of behavior that DOES violate the basic rights of others it is often labeled conduct disorder. Children with ODD often become adults with conduct disorder if the right steps aren’t taken to control the behavior. (Bailey and Northey and Silverman and Wells 2003)
  • Understanding Aggressive Behaviors
    • Reactive Aggression
      • Affective or expressive aggression
      • Loss of control and emotional flooding
      • Emotions are dominant
    • Proactive Aggression
      • Instrumental or operant aggression
      • Goal oriented
      • Cognitions are dominant
    TCI TRAINING [11]
  • Scott
  • What Causes Oppositional Defiance Disorder?
    • The cause of Oppositional Defiant Disorder is unknown at
    • this time. The following are some of the theories being
    • investigated:
    • It may be related to the child's temperament and the family's response to that temperament.
    • A predisposition to ODD is inherited in some families.
    • There may be problems in the brain that cause ODD.
    • It may be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.
    • Children with ODD have often experienced a break in
    • attachment or bonding during the first 2 years of life
  • How does a student with ODD think? (Frank et al. )
    • I am the equal of those in authority- no one has the right to tell me what to do.
    • Yes, I sometimes do the wrong thing, but it is usually your fault.
    • When you punish or reward me, I feel that you are trying to control or manipulate me.
    • Because I know how much you want me to change, I will be very stubborn about changing behaviors. In spite of experiencing your intended punishments and/or rewards, if I change, it will be on my time and for me.
    • My greatest sense of control comes from how I make others feel.
  • The Evolution of Adversarial Relationships and Subversion
    • As aberrant behaviors begin to surface an unhealthy communication paradigm emerges
    • A phone call home, a detention slip, a suspension
    • THE STAGE IS SET
  • What Johnny Learns
    • Johnny is becoming increasingly dis-enfranchised with school
    • Johnny figures out that he if he tells his parents he was picked on, singled out, overly or repeatedly punished, then his parents will begin to focus on the school rather than his behaviors.
    • It becomes increasing probable for Johnny to misrepresent the school. He escapes punishment and takes the focus off of him.
    • By blaming the school, the parents avoid blame, and are relieved of the feeling of helplessness,
    • The end result: a parent who rescues, defends, accuses
    • a child who has a escape card-any time he wants to use it.
  • “ If you know why, you can figure out how….” W. Edward Deming
  • What is the Function or Motivation of Defiant Behavior?
    • Obtain …
    • Peer Attention
    • Adult Attention
    • Items/Activities (tangible)
    • Sensory (seeking)
    • Avoid…
    • Peer(s)
    • Adult
    • Task or Activity
    • Sensory (defensive)
  • What is the motivation or function of defiance?
    • Most adults say it is “control.”
    • But is reality is avoidance of being controlled by others?
    • In many instances the defiant student is resisting the control of the adult, not trying to make the adult do something they don’t want to do.
    • In many instances the defiant student is resisting the agenda of the adult or authority figure
  • We all like to be in control of our lives. It’s how we meet that need that sets us apart.
  • What can a Child Control
    • Items and Things-e.g., Video Games
    • Others-peers and adults
    • Choosing to follow adult expectations
    • Choosing to participate or engage
    • Appearance and Hygiene
    • Eating and toileting
    What can we control???
  •  
  •  
  • Attention, Sensory or Escape Avoidance Control
  • Possible Functions of Defiance
    • Escape/Avoidance
    • Attention
    • Sensory-Power Control
  • Behavior Mantra: “ It is easier to prevent a behavior from occurring than to deal with it after it has happened.”
  • The Tough Get Tougher
    • “ Getting tough ” with persistently defiant, non-compliant kids is counter productive.
    • These youngsters don’t succumb to coercion.
    • Rather, they are incited by it.
    • If our penalties are harsh and repeatedly applied, we might possibly be able to subdue the rebellion and create a non-motivated, withdrawn kid
  • Setting Limits
    • Present the expected behavior and logical consequence as a decision and place responsibility on the student.
    • Always lead with the positive outcome that will occur if the student make the choice to calm down or follow directions.
    • Allow a few seconds for the student to decide.
    • Withdraw from the student and attend to other students. Limit direct eye-contact.
    • Follow though with limits established.
  • What ?! Me Change?!
    • THEY’RE
    • the problem.
    • (not me) .
    • When we attempt to overpower a child who finds power struggles reinforcing, we fight a losing battle.
    • We create the very conflict we would like to avoid.
    • Sun Tzu: ( The art of war ). The greatest victory is to win without ever having battled .
    • Tom McIntyre: The sweetest victory is one in which both sides are winners .
  • SETTING EVENT STRATEGIES
  • Setting Event Strategies
    • Building a connection or positive relationship
    • Designing the physical space
    • Established a predictable agenda
    • Established home expectations
    • Meaningful Incentive Systems
    • Teach and model expected behaviors
    • Opportunity for choices
    • Leadership opportunities
    • Establishing a positive home environment
    • Pre-arranged consequences
    • Children can feel a greater sense of ownership when they are invited to contribute to their behavior management plan.
    • Children also tend to know better than anyone else what triggers will set off their problem behaviors and what strategies they find most effective in calming themselves and avoiding conflicts or other behavioral problems.
    Have the Child Participate in Creating a Behavior Plan (Walker, Colvin, & Ramsey, 1995).
    • ANTECEDENT STRATEGIES
    • should make the target behavior irrelevant
  • Contra-Indicated Behavioral Strategies for the ODD Child
    • Ultimatums
    • Strict Boundaries: Drawing the Line in the Sand
    • Counts, Warnings, Threats
    • Prolonged Eye-Contact
    • Infringing on Personal Space
    • Social Disapproval
    • Judgmental Responses
    • Response Cost and Punishment
    • Strict Boundaries or Contracts
    • Suspension and Detention, Progressive Discipline
    Marion
  • Defiant Kids: How do I deliver a command without power struggles?
    • You can increase the odds that a student will follow a teacher command by:
      • Approaching the student privately, using a quiet voice.
      • establishing eye contact and calling the student by name before giving the command .
      • stating the command as a positive ( do ) statement, rather than a negative ( don’t ) statement.
      • phrasing the command clearly and simply so the student knows exactly what he/she is expected to do.
  • Avoiding Triggers
    • ASD Example
    • Treating with mutual respect
    • Avoiding the three “don’ts”
  • Defiant Kids: Teacher Command Sequence: Extended Version
    • Make the request. Use simple, clear language that the student understands. If possible, phrase the request as a positive ( do ) statement, rather than a negative ( don ’ t ) statement. (E.g., “ John, please start your math assignment now. ” ) Wait a reasonable time for the student to comply (e.g., 5-20 seconds)
    • An explanation of the diagram can be found on the slides that follow.
  • RATIONALE DETACHMENT OUR ABILITY TO MAINTAIN A THERAPEUTIC APPROACH
  • SETTING LIMITS
    • Simple and concise
    • Reasonable and Pre-arranged
    • Enforceable
    • (avoid demands that make physcal
    • management to enforce)
    • WHERE IS THE LINE?
    • THE DEFIANT CHILD SHOULD HAVE VERY CLEAR BOUNDARIES !!!
  • Nine things to do instead of Spanking
    • 1. Get Calm
    • 2. Take Time for Yourself
    • 3. Be kind but firm
    • 4. Give Choices
    • 5. Use logical consequences
    • 6. Do make ups
    • 7. Withdraw from Conflict
    • 8. Use kind but firm action
    • 9. Inform Children ahead of time
  • Antecedent Interventions
    • Deal with Difficult Behaviors
    • Provide frequent non-contingent attention and interaction
    • “ Fix” difficult tasks
    • Build behavioral momentum
      • Ask for 2-3 likely behaviors before an unlikely behavior.
    • Prompt incompatible, desired behavior
    • REPLACEMENT STRATEGIES
  • REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR SWEARING ESCAPE TASK DEMANDS (WRITING) Function Behavior R
  • REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR SWEARING ESCAPE TASK DEMANDS (WRITING) REQUEST A BREAK X Behavior Function R
  • REPLACEMENT BEHAVIORS for Defiance
    • Taking leave appropriately
    • Refusing in a respectful manner
    • Choosing between two task or demands
    • Responding to a coded signal
    • Taking part in plan development
    • Performing three non preferred tasks per day
    • CONSEQUENCE STRATEGIES
  • Have a Routine for Responding to Minor Problem Behavior Specific Request If, Compliance Walk Away & wait 5-10 seconds If, Non-Compliance Reinforce! “ Please _________” Request in a calm voice If, Compliance If, Noncompliance Preplanned Consequence Walk away & Wait 5-10 sec . Reinforce!
    • Punishment
    The Pitfalls of
  • CONSEQUENCES
    • Drawing the line and sticking to it!!
    • Setting Priorities
    • Setting Limits
    • Enforcing those Limits
    • Implement consequences that are reasonable and consistent
    • Implement consequences in a calm manner!
    • Bigger, tougher Consequences is NOT what we mean by a Correction System
  • Consequence Concerns
    • Repeated loss of anything tends to establish and discount orientation-I don’t care
    • The child may start to believe that they can’t be successful and acclimate to a life without privileges
    • These kids tend to move us to an ultimate consequence philosophy- we tend to up the severity of punishment thinking that a more sever consequence will do the trick
    • If the child doesn't want to do something or engage, punishing usually makes things worse
    • If we have to get in the habit of escalating or yelling the child may gradually become desensitized to authoritarian approaches
    • If the behavior is chronic there is a likelihood that something about the consequence may be reinforcing
  • Reinforcement History
    • Has reinforcement been used as a means of acknowledging approximations of desired behavior?
    • Has reinforcement been used as a means of control, leading to resentment, and loss of motivation?
  • Problems with Reward Systems
    • “ What I giveth I can taketh away.”
    • The Marion Story
    • May not be reinforcing to that child
    • May have been used to control bad behavior rather than celebrate good behavior
  • Setting up Reinforcement Systems
    • A. The child should have input
    • B. Delivery should be rich, random, and not tied
    • to intervals or activities at clearly defined times
    • C. Response Cost Systems should be avoided
    • D. The reward system should NEVER be used to control the child!!
    • E. The reinforcer menu needs to vary!!
    • F. DO NOT USE EMBARASSMENT WHEN THE CHILD HAS NOT EARNED A PRIVILEGE OR REWARD. THIS WILL LIKELY CAUSE THE STUDENT TO DISCOUNT YOUR REWARD.
    • G. PROVIDE AGREED UPON CELEBRATIONS EVEN IN THE FACE OF INPERFECTION!!
  • Ross Greene’s Three Basket Method
    • Three goals with this method:
    • 1. To maintain adults as authority figures.
    • 2. Teach skills of flexibility and frustration
    • tolerance.
    • 3. Awareness of the child’s limitations.
  • Three basket method: How it works
    • Behaviors are divided into three baskets.
      • Basket A -are non-negotiable behaviors- usually fall into the safety and rights of others category.
        • These behaviors are those that are important enough to endure a “meltdown” over.
        • Child must be capable of successfully exhibiting this behavior on a fairly consistent basis.
        • Basket B - These behaviors are important but can be worked on over time. They are not behaviors worth inducing a “meltdown” over.
        • Basket C - These behaviors are those that could be ignored without any significant repercussions.
  • Remember the PURPOSES of negative consequences
    • Do not expect negative consequences to change behavior patterns.
    • Negative consequences are a way to “keep the lid on”
    • Teaching changes behavior.
    • Prevent escalation of problem behaviors
    • Prevent/minimize reward for problem behaviors
  • Are you going to finish strong?? (Building Resilience) TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN NOT TO GIVE UP..
  • FOR MORE INFORMATION
    • http://www.slideshare.net/svittoatmuskegonisd.org/steve-vitto-positive-approaches-for-all-children
    • Bridge4kids.com
    • PBIS.org
    • Casel.org
    • eboard.com.michiganpbs
    • PositiveParenting.com
    • Parentsuccess.com
    • Parenting.org
    • Kidinfo.com/parent_resources/Parenting_tips.html
    • Parentsmart.com
    • Kidsourcectdta.org/parenting
    • http://muskegonisd.org
  • GO OUT AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE!! Steve Vitto at Slide Share.com