Today I attended a Coaching Academy Introduction to Personal Coaching weekend. I booked on to refresh and practice my skills with people outside my network, observe how a coaching workshop is delivered learning from the trainers and spend time considering how to achieve my goals around coaching.<br />The background and knowledge of coaching from those attending varied considerably. There were also a large variety of words used by individuals to describe their feelings at the start of the day. Words like energised, optimistic, eager, confused, apprehension and excited. <br />This exercise in checking how you feel is important in every thing we do because your feelings influence your behaviours. Hindering feelings can lead to behaviours that are not useful and can prevent you from achieving your goals.<br />Although when in the midst of a flood of emotion it doesn’t seem so but, being the master of your emotions is possible. Sometimes we all like to wallow in our feelings and for a short while that may be OK. However, when negative emotions strike in our daily lives, we need to recognise and then change them or our performance will suffer. This may be done by changing the things you say to yourself, picturing a more useful memory or by thinking about a better outcome.<br />Coaching is all about beginning with the end in mind, according to Stephen Covey. It doesn't matter where you are coming from; all that matters is where you are going (Brian Tracey). On this point, we were asked to consider what we wanted to leave the two days saying to ourselves. A different way to clumsily asking; “What are your objectives?”<br />0206375<br />The iceberg above the surface represents our behaviours and opinions. These are things that are visible to others. Beneath the water line are our capability, beliefs and identity. <br />It is important to avoid make assumptions about what lies beneath the water line based on someone’s behaviours and opinions. <br />Remember when we ASSUME, we can make an ASS out of U and ME!<br />Coaching is all about asking high quality questions that unlock someone's thinking so they can access richer resources. Often, the questions can make someone bump up to the edge of their perception of the world and reality. Or using the iceberg analogy is it can take them to the point where they are dipping their toes into the icy water. At this point they could look uncomfortable, confused and struggle to answer the questions. It is when they then go for it, dive in and access the areas beneath the surface they become able to make changes to reveal new resources.<br />Alexander and Whitmore developed a neat approach to coaching around which quality questions can be hung. This model is the GROW model. You may know it.<br />GOALS; what are you aiming for? <br />What do you want? <br />How will you know when you achieve it? <br />When do you want to achieve it by? <br />What will you gain or lose by attaining this goal? <br />REALITY; exploring the present reality<br />What have outdone specifically so far to achieve the your goal? <br />What challenges have you met & overcome?<br />What other challenges do you expect to meet?<br />OPTIONS; Stretching beyond what the client has tried or thought about before<br />What could you do?<br />What else....?<br />What if....?<br />WILL & WAY FORWARD; Gaining commitment from the client towards taking action<br />Which option will be fastest/easiest/preferred?<br />What might stop you?<br />What are the consequences and impact of your approach?<br />When will you take action?<br />Many people in the group struggled with the goals and actions bit. Goals are things we all know about and understand the importance of. Defining the little devils, now that was where things often get a little sticky. Roll forward the Wheel of Life.<br />The steps are as follows:<br />
Firstly define the sectors on your wheel and label the Red Priorities bulls eye. Some ideas include: career development, personal growth, spiritual, friends and social life, contribution to society, financial prosperity, family relationships, work-life balance, relationships with partner, home, health and well being, fun and recreation, travel and adventure and relationships with kids / teens. These are some ideas. You may have others. Whatever labels you choose are the right ones.
Rate how happy you are with each sector in the Red sector on a 1 – 10 scale.
Select the sector you want to focus. Your level of happiness from 2 may guide you. Now write down what you want to achieve in the yellow goal sector.
Define your strengths in relation to that sector. Think of all the positive things you have done in relation to that area. Ask yourself “what is working well in this area?” What are the skills you have that are useful to that area? What helpful habits do you have?
Now what could you possibly do to reach this goal? What else? Who could you possibly involve? How could you possibly get their buy in? How could you possibly communicate with them? What possible assumptions are you making? What possible obstacles are there? What are the possible ways round?
Prioritise the possibilities, checking you believe the prioritised steps are do-able and schedule them into your diary and include how you know you will have done them. Write them in the blue Actions section.
State the benefits to doing these actions.
There are loads of reasons why people do not set goals. FEAR is the main one. Remember though that FEAR is:<br />False<br />Evidence <br />Appearing <br />Real<br />Other common reasons that are worth noting why people do not set their goals include:<br />A coach has a key role in supporting a client through these fears and hindering beliefs. Approaches to this will be in tomorrows blog post…..<br />