This presentation is a semi-serious exploration of the new balance of power between the sexes. It contains strong language, but not strong enough to replace caffeine. It is intended for an immature audience so that they may become mature. (Of course, we know YOU are mature and that you’re just browsing these slides for the sake and education of a “friend.”)
Okay, let’s start with what we KNOW. You’ve learned about these two fundamental truths before:
1. There will always be taxes. 2. Death will eventually come. The third truth is that …
In the past, where women had restricted access to professional work, they relied on a husband to provide economic security.
Yes, size DOES matter. The size of his wallet.
In those days, a man who had a good stable job, even if it’s blue-collar, was considered “good matrimonial material.”
The universal female strategy was to hang on to something “good” until something “great” comes along. If nothing “great” comes up, well, “good” is good enough.
It’s even better if a woman could “marry up” (that is, marry a man who comes from a higher socioeconomic class).
The best example of “marrying up” (way, way up!) is Natalia Vodianova, the Russian supermodel who rose from rags to riches by marrying the aristocratic Justin Portman.
Well, let’s get back to planet Earth, where most of us non-aristocratic folks have to compete without the advantage of nobility.
Today, things have changed. (Okay, men, this is where you have to start paying attention. The following will greatly affect your romantic life!).
Women no longer need to “marry up.” If they need something “up there,” they’ll just go up there and get it ! (While, of course, looking fabulous in the process of getting whatever it is that they’re trying to get!)
In other words, women today are sexually, socially AND economically liberated.
And they are inspired, too. They feel that nothing can stop them.
Personally, I think that somebody should tell Oprah that she did a great job, and invite her to retire before she does more “damage” to the male species.
Although it’s true that women still earn less than their male counterparts, their “stock value” is rapidly growing.
The new qualities mentioned by Dan Pink in his latest book on the new economy, such as Story-telling, Meaning, Design, etc. are all qualities that are markedly feminine.
Corporations are also beginning to pay attention to qualities and traits that women in general possess naturally, such as relationship-building, service orientation, communicative ability, etc.
In contrast, many men are beginning to feel a mysterious burden, a psychological tiredness that comes from not having clear career aims. This is reflected in the phenomenon documented by Harvard Business Review and known as “Middlescence.”
So if more and more women can do the work that was previously done by men, and if more and more women can become economically independent on their own, then how does THAT change the balance of power between the sexes?
More specifically, what exactly is a woman looking for in men that she is dating? What is she thinking? My answer is…
I have absolutely NO CLUE ! (Somebody please lend me a copy of the movie What Women Want by Mel Gibson! I only watched it five times already, I still don’t get it…)
Most importantly, as a man, how does all this affect your romantic strategy ? How should you change your dating strategy? (If you had one!).
How can you still maintain a suave and debonair composure when you KNOW that you DON’T KNOW what she wants? (So forget about how she wants it!).
Okay, men, let’s think!! Who can help us here?
How about Dr. Phil? Well, I checked his website and it seems he has switched to the girls team!
Indeed, he has a whole section full of checklists and assessment tools which enable women to RATE potential male candidates! (I kid you not!).
And what about this standup comic called Greg, who wrote a best-selling book titled “He’s just not into you”, urging women to preemptively dump men who don’t commit fully and early in a relationship.
Oh, great. Just what we needed. Women who take matrimonial advice from a comedian!
Of course, there’s nothing really wrong with Dr Phil giving women tools with which to evaluate men. And there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with urging women to drop guys who can’t commit.
The main issue for men is: “If manhood is best defined by what women expect of men, then WHAT do women expect of men now that women seem to have more freedom, more autonomy, more everything!
“ How can a man steer his manly development in the direction that will meet with female approval and thus ensure romantic success?”
Things are getting so complicated… It’s not like in the old days. When I was a teenager -- well, okay, in my early 20s – the only question I had to resolve in my head when dating a girl was: “At what point in the proceedings is it appropriate to kick her stuffed animals off the bed and conduct serious legit business?”
Enough about me and my escapades… What should YOU do?
For instance, should you try to impress the next woman you date by casually pulling out of your vest pocket, during dinner, a crisp copy of your updated resume?
Would that impress her or would it be a sign of male insecurity?
If it’s a sign of male insecurity, then I have an urgent message for Julie, Lily, Erica, Stephanie, Michaela, Lina, Chantal, Sophia and Jenny: “Girls, I showed you my resume as a joke! No, really, it was a joke!!”
The question is this: “If women can make it on their own, professionally and economically, then what the heck do they need men for?” (If you’re a man and you do not feel panicky at this point in the presentation, you definitely need an urgent injection of caffeine!)
And to make matters worse , chocolate companies keep creating all kinds of flavors and textures that give women such a wide range of subtle yet unmistakable pleasures! Chocolate is the enemy of manhood. Chocolate is a weapon of mass destruction of male utility.
How can men compete against the rising hegemony of chocolatism , also known as female pleasure on demand! (Anytime, anywhere! Absolutely reliable as a vehicle for bliss delivery! And it fits so neatly into a small purse! Ahh!)
In the end, it is clear that inter-gender relations will continue to evolve. What is also clear is that women will continue to acquire more power in social as well as economic spheres. What is NOT clear is how that newfound power for the collectivity of women will affect and impact men’s concept of manhood.
The only thing that men can do is grab a beer and, casually, most casually, call up a female friend and try to do what man has tried to do since since the dawn of time: elucidate this great mystery called womanhood!
Peter is CEO & co-founder of Talentelle, the company for successful women. He totally understands why Dr. Phil loves to serve women. They are great! He has been writing about beautiful, talented and exceptional women for 14 years, as feature writer for a newspaper called Asian Leader. He sincerely hopes his future wife will let him continue his work. To this day, he still has the bad habit of writing about himself in the third person. He can be reached at [email_address]