Unusual Vision | Success Resources Richard Tan
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Unusual Vision | Success Resources Richard Tan



Turn A Challenging Situation Around By Seeing It Differently

Turn A Challenging Situation Around By Seeing It Differently



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Unusual Vision | Success Resources Richard Tan Unusual Vision | Success Resources Richard Tan Document Transcript

  • Our lives are surrounded with bad experiences and challenging situations. The economy is depressing, we may not have the best working environment, we may be unhappy in our relationships, we don’t have enough money to pay the bills, and nothing seems to be going the way you planned. We could say something to make you FEEL better but that rarely solves anything. What we will do is introduce a strategy that will radically change the outcomes in your life. The meaning of any experience we have in life depends on the frame we put around it. If you think about the sound “Click,” it could mean nothing to you. But for someone who had been robbed at gunpoint, it could take on a totally different meaning; create completely different emotions. Your experience may provide you with a context for that sound and determine if it relaxes you or frightens you. That same “Click” could indicate your spouse coming home early. So, our current situations are framed by the experiences we faced in our past, giving it context or meaning or a frame. Therefore, if you change the frame-the context-the meaning changes instantly. One of the most effective tools for personal change is learning how to put the best frames on any experience. This process is called reframing. Success Resources: http://www.srpl.net/
  • A Story of Unusual Vision A touching Pulitzer Prize-winning article by Alice Steinbach illustrates the power of reframing. It appeared in The Baltimore Sun in 1985 titled, “A Boy of Unusual Vision,” about a young boy named Calvin Stanley. Then 10-year-old Calvin rides a bike, plays video games, plays baseball, goes to school, everything a typical boy his age would do. Except see. How could this little boy do all these things while many people in the same situation would be paralyzed by depression and just give up? It was his mother. She took every experience Calvin has-experiences that others would have classified as “limitations”- and REFRAMED them in Calvin’s mind. She remembers the first day Calvin asked why he was blind. “I explained he was born that way and it was nobody’s fault. He asked, ‘Why me?’ I said, ‘I don’t know why, Calvin. Maybe there’s a special plan for you.’” Then she sat her son down and told him, “You’re seeing, Calvin. You’re just using your hands instead of your eyes. And remember, there’s nothing you can’t do.” Success Resources: http://www.srpl.net/
  • One day, Calvin was sad because he realized he’d never see his mother’s face. But Mrs Stanley knew what to tell her only child. “I said, Calvin, you can see my face. You can see it with your hands and by listening to my voice and you can tell more about me that way than somebody who can use his eyes.’” Calvin wants to become a computer programmer and someday design programs for the blind. The world is full of Calvins and we need more people who are adept reframers like Mrs Stanley out there (even if she didn’t realize what she was practicing was called). The Process of Reframing Think about a major mistake you made in the last year. You might feel an instant rush of dread and regret. But chances are, the mistake was part of an experience with more successes than failures. And if you thought about it, might have been one of the greatest learning experiences in the year. Deliberately looking for the benefits in any situation is an important strategy in reframing. Success Resources: http://www.srpl.net/
  • Remember, you are in control. You’re in control of how you view an experience, the meaning you assign to it, the emotion it creates, and your reaction to it. Reframing is one of the most powerful ways to take charge of your your life. Try it for yourself, take a moment and reframe these situations: 1. My boss yells at me all the time. 2. I had to pay $4,000 more in income tax this year. 3. We have no extra money to buy gifts for Christmas. 4. Every time I start to get ahead, I sabotage my success. Here are some possible reframes: 1. It’s great to have a boss that cares enough to tell me how he/she really feels. I should have been fired. 2. That’s outstanding! I made more money this year than last year. 3. Terrific! I can get creative and make something unique and personal for the people I love. 4. It’s wonderful that now I’m aware of my pattern of behaviour in the past, I can figure out how to change it forever! Success Resources: http://www.srpl.net/
  • Almost every seemingly negative experience can be reframed into a positive. How often have you said to yourself, “Someday I’ll look back on this and laugh.” Why wait for “someday?” Why not look back and laugh at it now? It’s all a matter of perspective. Take a minute and think of three challenging situations you’re facing now in your life. How many different ways can you see each of these situations? What do you learn by seeing them differently? How does this free you to act differently? You may say, “It’s not so easy to do,” or “That’s easier said than done,” or “You don’t understand what I’m going through,” or “I’m not in the mood to do anything about it.” STOP! Don’t fool yourself. What’s your mood? It’s a state. We’ve mentioned before in a previous newsletter that you can change your state from an unresourceful one to a resourceful one. Do it now. Have you ever gone somewhere expecting to have a bad time and instead met someone special or made an incredible business connection? Making unexpected discoveries is one of life’s greatest treasures. When you start seeing things differently, you’ll start to see life as filled with gems to unearth and respond differently. Then you’ll find that it’s not your situation that improves… it’s yourself! Success Resources: http://www.srpl.net/