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Training Techniques Training - Day 3 Coaching Skills
 

Training Techniques Training - Day 3 Coaching Skills

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Training Techniques Training - Day 3 Coaching Skills

Training Techniques Training - Day 3 Coaching Skills

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    Training Techniques Training - Day 3 Coaching Skills Training Techniques Training - Day 3 Coaching Skills Presentation Transcript

    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir IMPROVED STRATEGIC MANAGEMENT CAPACITY PROJECT Training Techniques Training – Session 3 Jocelyne Rasé Coaching skills November 2013
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Day Three Why Coaching? – Telling people what to do does not work Principles of Coaching – – – – The 5 steps The purpose The change of mindset necessary The outcome Practice
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coaching is about Change Before After
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Telling people what to do … Does it work?
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir How many times do I have to….? Efforts 26/11/2013 80/20 Results 5
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir How long will it take before you realise that it does not work? 6
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Compliance is NOT the same as engagement
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir What is below the surface? Superficial agreement . Resistance
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir 1 2 3 4 5 Coaching 6 7 8 9 10 Motivation - Performance Stretch zone Strategic Management Comfort Zone Reform has been in place since 2003 10 9 8 7 6 Being directive 5 Time 4 3 2 1
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir From being directive to coaching I am a Directive I am Coaching Beliefs I operate from – ‘I know best’ Beliefs – ‘You know what is best for you’ I find solutions. I make decisions You can generate great solutions I am responsible for the actions of people You are responsible for the results you create Skills required Skills required Organise, solve problems, Focused listening, open questions, reflection, make decisions, giving orders Feedback, open observation, dialogue What I am actually doing What I am actually doing Give instructions Understand, challenge interpretations, Tell the person what to do Encourage others to think differently Coaching requires a change in mind-set
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coaching Skills: a 5 step process 1. Building rapport 5. Constructive Feedback 4. Effective Questioning 2. Structure the conversation 3. Focused listening Helping the person think differently
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir In order to influence people to change, you need to build trust Emotions - Feelings Opinions - Beliefs Facts - Information Ritual - Cliché Time Risk Trust Rapport
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Levels of Listening Little effort/focus Cosmetic Listening „I‟m engaged in the conversation, listening, talking, thinking, talking, thinking, again and again, etc. Conversational Listening Active/Attentive Listening ‘I‟m more focussed on you than me, I‟m getting a sense of who you are.‟ ‘If it looks like I‟m listening, I‟m not really, I‟m kind of someplace else…‟ Deep Listening Focused intention „I‟m very focussed on what you’re saying, paying attention, recording facts‟
    • Quality Questions Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Don’t ask WHY Great questions have the following characteristics: – They are simple – They have a purpose – They are open, i.e. no hidden agenda or motive – They influence thought or learning Open How..? Closed Did you..? Yes or No? Tell me more… Have you..? What does it mean..? Is this the issue..? Can you explain…? Is that what stops you? What would…..? Get the person to talk more Get the person to talk less
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Challenge the person’s way of thinking 26 November 2013 15
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coach the PERSON, NOT the ISSUE!!!
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir The coaching approach The coachee directs him/herself I am directive - I tell what to do Dependence 1 Directives Guidance 2 Advice Sharing 3 Opinions 4 Support 5 Suggestions Delegation Encouragement 6 Impressions 7 Options 8 Trust Independence 9 Alternatives 10 Possibilities 17
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir From being directive to trust… BEING DIRECTIVE Questions Outcome Directives Do that! DEPENDENCE Advice May I recommend that you…? Guidance Opinions May I share my opinion? ...I think that… Sharing Suggestions Have you thought about…? Support Impressions My I share my impression ... It is that you seem … Delegation Options What are your options? Encouragement Alternatives What else could you think about? Openness Possibilities You could do X, Y, Z Trust COACHING I know you will make the right decision INDEPENDENCE18
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir What is the issue? The girl on her way to Ibiza…
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir What is below the surface? Topic . Listen to the words, question them, ask for different words… Listen to the emotion, ask for clarification Issue
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Time Out
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coaching Skills: a 5 step process 1. Building rapport 5. Constructive Feedback 4. Effective Questioning 2. Structure the conversation 3. Focused listening Beliefs we operate from
    • Practice Sessions Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir • Break into groups of 3 Coachee: Prepare a topic for coaching : Talk about an important change you are considering but you have not done anything yet about it. – Person A = Coach – Person B = Coachee – Person C = Observer A “I am thinking about a significant change….” B Coach: Help the person think differently Observer: Write notes, make suggestions, give feedback. Ask the coach: What did you do well? C What could you have done better? What will do you differently next time? 23
    • When the coachee says, « I am thinking about…» Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir • How do you feel about the change? What else do you feel? - Are you stepping IN or OUT of a situation? • What are you leaving behind? – How will you keep in touch? • What are you stepping into? (+) When the coachee has a positive fantasy - Lets picture your fantasy - Have you checked with anyone? (-) When the coachee imagines a negative situation - What evidence do you have that it will be so bad? Let’s imagine the worst scenario • Have you experienced this kind of change in the past? - How did you cope? - What worked? How can you apply this to NOW? - What didn’t work? What can you learn from this past experience/failure? • Who/ What can help you? - How can you make better use of the resources available to you ?
    • 50% Human dilemma PARALYSIS of ANALYSIS Doing Nothing – Status Quo Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir 50% 55% 60% 70% 80% Dual Thinking 25
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Enabling factors Who or What can help you make a decision? Who else? What else?
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir And Or Either Coaching is about reconciling 2 options which seemed exclusive of one another
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir What are the blocking factors?
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Open the realm of possibilities Dual Thinking 30
    • Practice Sessions Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir • Break into groups of 3 Coachee: Prepare a potential topic for coaching: a dilemma you have, a situation where you feel stuck – Person A = Coach – Person B = Coachee – Person C = Observer A “I know I should … but.... ” Coach: B Help the person think differently – switching from dual thinking(either/or) to win-win (AND) Observer: Write notes, make suggestions, give feedback. Ask the coach: What did you do well? What could you have done better? C What will do you differently next time? 31
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir When you are in the box…. You need coaching…
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Inaction Anger Pessimism Negativity Powerlessness Isolation It won‟t work I should Boredom Dual Thinking Helplessness either/or black or white Fear I can‟t.. Resistance Resentment Apprehension I really, really want to… Depression Envy Jealousy Disbelief Confusion Judgment Criticism Lack of vision
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir When a team is in the box…. They need coaching…
    • When the coachee says, «I have to… I can’t…» Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir • What puts you in the box, exactly? How does it feel? How long are you willing to stay? • What is stopping you from….(stepping out of your box)? • What are the benefits of keeping things the way they are? i.e. staying in your box? (secondary gains) • What are the consequences of not doing anything? (negative outcomes) • Which old tape are you listening to? – – – – What evidence do you have that it is true? Who are you loyal to, when you are listening to that tape? Have you talked to anybody about this dilemma? Who? Did that help you make a decision? Have you talked to someone who believes the opposite? (searching for another opinion) • What is the worst scenario? • What woud you do if you were not afraid?, if you were sure to succeed? 35
    • Practice Sessions Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coachee: • Break into groups of 3 Prepare a potential topic for coaching: a dilemma you have, a situation where you feel stuck – Person A = Coach – Person B = Coachee – Person C = Observer A “I don‟t know if I should or not do X or Y” Coach: Help the person think differently B At the end, review your experience on coaching Observer: Write notes, make suggestions, give feedback What did you do well? What could you have done better? C What will do you differently next time? 36
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir WIN and WIN
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Discussion with your coach – in pairs • What puts you in the box? • What keeps you in the box? • How do you cope? What exactly do you do? Does it work? • What price are you paying for doing the same thing over & over? • How long are you going to stay in the box? • What will happen if you stay in your box? • What are the secondary benefits to staying in the box?
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Discussion with your coach – in pairs • What would it take to step out of the box? • Lets imagine the best scenario, how would you handle it? • What does it look like? • What would you do if you were not afraid? • What or Who can help you? • What are you going to do differently, concretely from now on?
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir It’s up to you… IN THE BOX I have to «get along with» … or else… • • • • There will be conflict, I will be reprimanded, There will be negative consequences, I will be fired, I will have a bad reputation, etc = NEGATIVE OUT OF THE BOX I choose to «get along with… » because… • We will collaborate better to finish the project on time • I might learn something from him • The atmosphere will more positive, etc = POSITIVE 40
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Don’t take the monkey
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Emotional Maturity – 360° feedback Self Denial Awareness ‘Intra’ personal emotions & behaviours Acting out Self or Management Addiction Source: Daniel Goleman Lack of empathy of others Abuse Awareness ‘Inter’ personal emotions & behaviours Fight or Relationship Management Flight 42
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coaching to develop emotional maturity Self - Awareness How do you feel? What do you mean? What exactly makes you upset? Use different words What else do you feel? Explain Source: Daniel Goleman 43
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coaching to develop emotional maturity Self - Management What do you usually do when you are upset? What have you done so far? What worked, what did not work? What can you learn from that? Who/what could help you? What else could you do? What other option do you have? Source: Daniel Goleman 44
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coaching to develop emotional maturity Awareness of others How do you think the other person feels? What is the impact of your behaviour on other people? How would you feel if you were in the same situation? Have you discussed this with the other person? Why not? Source: Daniel Goleman 45
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir How do they feel?
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coaching to develop emotional maturity Relationship Management What evidence do you have that the person will respond negatively to your request? How can you approach the person differently? What is stopping you? What are you afraid of? What is the worst that could happen? What would you do if you were not afraid? What would you do if you could not fail? Source: Daniel Goleman 47
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coaching myself to develop my emotional maturity… Self - Awareness Awareness of others How do I feel? How do I think the other person feels? What do I mean? What exactly makes me upset? What is the impact of my behaviour on other people? What other words can I use to express how I feel? How would I feel if I were in the same situation? What else do I feel? Have I discussed this with the other person? Can I explain? Why not? Self - Management What do I usually do when I am upset? What have I done so far? What worked, what did not work? What can I learn from my past experience? Who/what could help me? What else could I do? What other option do I have? Source: Daniel Goleman Relationship Management How do I cope with people‟s emotions? What evidence do I have that the person will respond negatively If I speak to him/her? What can I do? How can I approach the person differently? What is stopping me? What am I afraid of? What is the worst that could happen to me if…? What would I do if I were sure to succeed? 48
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Coaching others to develop their emotional maturity… Self - Awareness Awareness of others How do you feel? How do you think the other person feels? What do you mean? What exactly makes you upset? What is the impact of your behaviour on other people? What other words can you use to express how you feel? How would you feel if you were in the same situation? What else do you feel? Have you discussed this with the other person? Can you explain? Why not? What stopped you? Self - Management What do you usually do when you are upset? What have you done so far? What worked, what did not work? What can you learn from your past experiences? Who/what could help you ? What else could you do? What other option do you have? Source: Daniel Goleman Relationship Management How do you cope with people‟s emotions? What evidence do you have that the person will respond negatively If you speak to him/her? What can you do? How can you approach the person differently? What is stopping you? What are you afraid of? What is the worst that could happen to you if…? What would you do if you were sure to succeed? 49
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir 26 November 2013 Change management 50
    • Bu proje Avrupa Birliği ve Türkiye Cumhuriyeti tarafından finanse edilmektedir Assignment