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Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"
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Mature: Episode 7, "Bookstore"

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  • 1. Mature "Bookstore" Written by Bryan Kett episode 007
  • 2. Mature "Bookstore" 1. INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - EARLY AFTERNOON ZACH, NEAL, and BRENT enter a bookstore. Brent is holding a stack of books. ZACH Okay, I’m gonna go browse. BRENT Self-help section? Brent sneers. NEAL Don’t be rude. ZACH No, he’s right. Have fun returning those to get money to help you open that bar. BRENT Not opening a bar, taking the bar. As in the law exam. As in, preparing for something ahead of time. As in, something you’d know nothing about. Zach glazes over, nods his head, and exits. Brent and Neal stare at each other. Brent shakes his head. NEAL You cool here? Yep. BRENT Brent gets in a long line. Neal exits. INT. BACK OF BOOKSTORE - SELF-HELP SECTION - EARLY AFTERNOON Zach drags his finger along the spines of the different books on the shelves. ZACH (to himself) Drywall, engine repair, bonsai. (beat) Oh, understanding your inner you! He reaches for a book, flips through it, and looks down the aisle. His jaw drops.
  • 3. Mature "Bookstore" CONTINUED: Oh my God. 2. ZACH (CONT’D) He turns and runs. INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - LINE - MOMENTS LATER Zach stands in line holding his stack of used textbooks. Next to him, MANDY (20s) is holding one of the same books he is. BRENT I see you’re also selling back Johnson’s “Professional Conduct.” Didn’t you think it was a total waste of time? MANDY (cold) I’m buying it. And I’m really looking forward to it. BRENT Yeah, it’s really good. Glad we agree. I’m jealous that you haven’t read it yet. Wish I could take it all in for the first time again. MANDY Do you even go here? Or are you just one of those guys who hangs out in bookstores for shelter or whatever? BRENT No, no. I go here part time. Studying for the bar now. MANDY (warm) Really? That’s so cool. BRENT I’d be happy to give you any advice. I almost became a teacher, too, you know. (beat) I love kids. Zach bursts in, out of breath. ZACH Brent, listen to me.
  • 4. Mature "Bookstore" CONTINUED: 3. BRENT (trying to keep his cool) Do I know you? ZACH (panting) There’s a girl...over there...I think she’s...a vampire. Brent turns to Mandy and smiles. BRENT Excuse us for one moment. He grabs Zach’s arm. BRENT (CONT’D) What is wrong with you? ZACH Listen man, she’s pale. Like, real pale. BRENT Pale people aren’t vampires, Brent. I don’t know how many times we have to go over this. ZACH No, but all vampires are pale. It’s like the rectangle and the square. BRENT I don’t care. (beat) Wait, what? ZACH You know, a square can be considered a rectangle, but a rectangle can’t be considered a square. Same thing here. Can’t believe you don’t know that. And you want to be a doctor? Eeesh. What? No- BRENT ZACH She’s got a real dark vibe to her. BRENT Maybe she’s just gothic or something?
  • 5. Mature "Bookstore" CONTINUED: (2) 4. ZACH Vampires, goths. Good point. But again, rectangle and square. I’m after it. Zach runs away. Brent, speechless, turns back to Mandy. BRENT Where were we? INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - FANTASY NOVEL SECTION - THAT MOMENT Neal stands, idly browsing some of the titles. He turns to see an undergraduate, GABBY (18), browsing. Neal leans over to him. NEAL If you’re looking for something worthwhile, I’d recommend The Crystal Sword. You’re welcome. Smug, Neal goes back browsing. GABBY I’ve read it. NEAL Ah, very good then. Sorry to intrude. I’ve just always thought of it as a cornerstone to all things magical realism. Really? GABBY NEAL I mean, sure. Look at its sense of mystery, its fantastical elements, and not to mention its political commentary. (beat) Sorry, I’m babbling. Enjoy. GABBY (in awe) What else do you know? INT. BACK OF BOOKSTORE - SELF-HELP SECTION - THAT MOMENT Zach casually walks over to the VAMPIRE GIRL (early 20s, dark clothing).
  • 6. Mature "Bookstore" CONTINUED: 5. ZACH (not making eye contact) Nice weather we’re having. Overcast. I guess. VAMPIRE GIRL ZACH I imagine if it was sunnier, you wouldn’t be here. VAMPIRE GIRL I guess I’d be out doing something else? ZACH Right, right. Zach, trying too hard to be casual, reaches for a book. ZACH (CONT’D) Hey, check it out. Cookbook. VAMPIRE GIRL Looks like it. She turns away. He runs in front of her. ZACH You like to cook? VAMPIRE GIRL Um, I guess? ZACH No garlic, though. Right? He winks at her. INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - LINE - THAT SAME MOMENT Brent stands in front of a small crowd of students, all watching him in admiration and holding stacks of textbooks. BRENT I mean, I wouldn’t say “expert” or anything, but I know my law texts. Watch. (pointing to the texts in each person’s hand) Dumb, dumb, important, dumb, dumb, important, important, dumb, dumb.
  • 7. Mature "Bookstore" CONTINUED: 6. MANDY Wow, Brent. You know so much. BRENT I know. And once I sell these back, maybe I use those proceeds to buy you a cup of coffee. Mandy smiles. Brent steps to the front of the line, face to face with the CASHIER (30s). BRENT (CONT’D) Hi, I’d like to sell these back. The cashier takes the books and scans them. CASHIER That comes to $1.34. BRENT Whoa, a hundred and thirty four bucks? Sounds like the cost of lunch when I’m a big time lawyer. He turns back to see if Mandy is impressed. CASHIER No, one dollar and thirty four cents. You missed the sell-back window. BRENT I think you’re misunderstanding me: The courses still use these texts. The information hasn’t changed. CASHIER And I think you’re misunderstanding me: while the information hasn’t changed, the price has. BRENT This is unjust. MANDY It’s okay, Brent. She puts her hand on his shoulder. So does a random NERD IN LINE. NERD IN LINE Yeah, it’s okay Brent.
  • 8. Mature "Bookstore" CONTINUED: (2) 7. He puts his hand on Brent’s other’s shoulder. Brent immediately takes his arm off. BRENT (to cashier) This is an excellent example of culpability. The crowd behind him “oohs” and “aahs.” BRENT (CONT’D) And it’s an example of double jeopardy. And maybe even triple jeopardy. CASHIER You’re welcome to sell them elsewhere. BRENT You just did yourself in. Checkmate. Dug your own grave, grave digger. He violently rings the bell at the checkout counter and storms away. Mandy follows. INT. BACK OF BOOKSTORE - SELF-HELP SECTION - LATER Zach stands uncomfortably close to the Vampire Girl. ZACH So you want to get together sometime? Grab a bite? She stares blankly at him. VAMPIRE GIRL No, I’m fine. Thanks. You sure? ZACH He pulls down a flyer for a blood drive that’s pinned to a bulletin board nearby. ZACH (CONT’D) Why don’t we make a day of it? Blood drive? She starts to edge away. ZACH (CONT’D) No? Not into it? Don’t run.
  • 9. Mature "Bookstore" CONTINUED: 8. She walks away. He follows her. ZACH (O.S.) (CONT’D) Come over here and let me see your reflection. (beat) Or lack there of. INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - LINE - MOMENTS LATER Brent stands off to the side, stewing. Mandy approaches. MANDY So, about that coffee? BRENT Not thirsty. (beat) If I sell the book directly to the consumer, that’ll show them, right? MANDY (losing interest) Okay? BRENT That way, we’ll both get more money than we would have. MANDY So that’s a no on the coffee? BRENT Eliminate the middle man, yeah. Mandy storms away. Brent sees LAW STUDENT #1 (mid 20s) browsing a bookshelf. He approaches and tries to get his attention through the bookshelf. BRENT (CONT’D) (whispering) Psssst. Law Student #1 looks around, pulls out a book, and sees Brent’s face in the opening. BRENT (CONT’D) Here’s a riddle: what’s expensive and rectangular, and read all over? Answer: the books here. Right? Law Student #1 puts the book back, covering up Brent’s face. Brent comes from around the corner.
  • 10. Mature "Bookstore" CONTINUED: 9. BRENT (CONT’D) What can I do to interest you in something cheaper? Law Student #1 quickly shuffles away. INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - FANTASY NOVEL SECTION Neal stands before a large crowd. NEAL And the thing is, yeah, it’s a bit over the top with its depiction of goblins. I’ll be the first to admit that, but it gets the job done. The crowd murmurs in agreement. VOICE IN THE CROWD (O.S.) What’s your take on hobbits? NEAL Oh, great question. The crowd leans in. INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - LAW SECTION - EARLY AFTERNOON Brent casually approaches LAW STUDENT #2 (early 20s) looking at the same book Brent tried to sell back earlier. BRENT You gotta buy that for class? Mhmmm. LAW STUDENT #2 BRENT What about this one? I’ll knock 20 bucks off of whatever they’re offering. LAW STUDENT #2 Seriously? I don’t know... BRENT Come on, man. Don’t be a baby. Live a little. LAW STUDENT Okay, I guess.
  • 11. Mature "Bookstore" CONTINUED: 10. Law Student #2 goes to get his wallet. At that moment, a SECURITY GUARD puts his hand on Brent’s shoulder. Brent spins around. SECURITY GUARD Is this the guy that was harassing you? Brent turns, behind the security guard is Law Student #1. SECURITY GUARD (CONT’D) (to Law Student #1) Was he also harassing you, sir? He nods. The security guard directs Brent towards the door. BRENT (turning, yelling) Come on, we were street. Not cool. Don’t be a snitch. (beat) I’m sorry. I’ll knock thirty bucks off? Forty? (yelling) Neal! I need you! Where are you? INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - FANTASY NOVEL SECTION - THAT MOMENT Neal stands before his adoring crowd. NEAL And sometimes it’s like, science fiction? I’d like to see that peer reviewed. The crowd laughs heartily. GABBY How does someone so cute know so much? Neal! BRENT (O.S.) Neal stands up and looks into the distance. What is it? GABBY NEAL I need to go. My skills are needed elsewhere.
  • 12. Mature "Bookstore" CONTINUED: 11. He looks longingly at her and then darts away. Gabby sits speechless. INT. COLLEGE BOOKSTORE - FRONT DOOR - MOMENTS LATER Neal approaches to see Zach and Brent detained by the Security Guard. Zach stands calmly while Brent thrashes. BRENT Gotta bring down the entrepreneur, huh? Typical. Squashing the little guy. ZACH I’m just saying, there’s a real threat here. You’re all going to be super sorry when you get bitten and turn into the undead. BRENT You’re banning me with this guy? You know how humiliating this is? ZACH (to Brent) It’s cool. We’re banned brothers, now. SECURITY GUARD These two belong to you? Neal nods. SECURITY GUARD (CONT’D) They gotta go. He starts marching them out. Neal follows. Two nerdy girls look at Neal in admiration. He winks. They giggle. BRENT Stop it, Zach. Banned brothers isn’t even a thing. ZACH If we can send Neal back in to buy it for us, there’s a book I found that you should read about understanding your inner you. END OF ACT

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