20 ways to make your husband love you doc


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20 ways to make your husband love you doc

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  2. 2. 20 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND LOVE YOU Compiled by Godwin Iroh and Michael Susana Many married women today are anything but happy. For many, a happy marriage is more of a fairy tale than a reality. For the most part this is because many wives are full of complaints about their husband’s shortcomings. This raises the question: Is it necessary for a wife to make her husband happy especially when he is not making her happy? The role of the woman is not to fix her spouse, but she has the ability to take responsibility for her own happiness. She can accomplish this more fully if she focuses more on giving rather than receiving. When this happens, the game changes from “What have you done for me lately?” to “What have I done for you lately?” Then instead of a perennial feeling of disappointment in what your husband has not done, you can begin to experience great peace knowing that you are doing him good and nothing bad all the days of his life. Do you know how this will ultimately play out? I can tell you with certainty that when you respect your husband and go out of your way to make him happy, he will turn around and pour that love right back to you. That is why we present to you the Top twenty ways to make your husband happy. 1. YOUR HOME SHOULD BE A HAVEN. There is a difference between a house and a home. A house is merely a building that serves as living quarters for one or a few families, but a home refers to a congenial environment that is not only delightable but is both comfortable and pleasant. As a woman your goal is to make your living apartment a home and not just a place to sleep and hurry off the next day. Your husband may have had it rough in the day. When he walks into the door, he should easily breathe a sigh of relief. When he’s rounding off from work each day, he should be looking forward to going back home with blissful expectancy. He should not dread the thought of going home, which could even lead to thinking of going to an alternative place to burn away Page | 2
  3. 3. the time, so he could just come back late in the night and go straight to bed. He should always feel that he is going back home and not going back to his house. So you need to think of how you welcome your husband when he comes back home. Does your greeting make him feel welcome? Does he see the back of your head as you are busy typing furiously on the computer or busy with some other tasks? Or you don’t even greet him at all? Or do you even abandon whatever it is you are doing, walk up to him, and looking him straight in the eyes and say, “Honey I’m so glad you’re home”? What husband will not be in a hurry to run back home as quickly as possible to receive such kingly red-carpet welcome? Don’t be a drama queen. It’s alright to throw a fussy fit now and then if your man disrespects you. But no matter what, don’t exaggerate a situation or blow it out of proportion just to prove a point. Men can see through the acts of even of the best drama queens. Be a good cook. No matter what people say, the adage, ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach still holds good’. 2. KEEP A TIDY HOME. Keeping a tidy home equates to giving your husband a place to love. Every husband loves a clean home to express his love. True, they might not contribute to the cleanliness of the home to the extent you may desire but they sure do appreciate the effort you put into keeping the home clean because they find it refreshing to express their loving nature. Untidiness puts men off. It kills their crave to try to be playful and cheerful with their wife because the atmosphere isn't conducive for that anymore unlike how it used to be during their courtship. He has no one to blame but you and gradually loses respect for you and at the same time his desire for romance will reduce because the home is not conducive for that. A good suggestion along this line is doing something to decongest the home. Perhaps you can try out the ‘IN&OUT’ Method. That is, purchase one new clothing material and then you could give away or even throw away two older clothing materials. 3. LET YOUR HUSBAND TAKE THE LEAD: For many women the idea of total submission to a man leaves them up in arms. This should not be for a woman of grace that wants to be happy and at the same time desires to make her husband happy. Men are crafted to lead but this does not mean that as a woman you become his door-mat. What it does mean however, is that you respect your husband’s role as leader in the home. When issues arise and you have humbly made your suggestion and expressed your feelings, the final decision belongs to your man. It is always so much easier to work in concert with him when his decision is in harmony with your suggestions. Truth is the true test of your respect and loyalty to him comes when he makes a decision against your express wish. If you were to continue your support and cooperation with him even at that, you would have endeared yourself to him. See him as your father and the head of the family. Esteem him more than your superior or Boss in the office. Page | 3
  4. 4. 4. MAKE SEX A PRIORITY: Does this come to you as a surprise? It shouldn’t because the only way a man knows how to be intimate with a woman is through sex. Therefore, sexual fulfilment is a top need of a man that should be filled by his woman who intellectually understands this historical truth. Therefore, your actions should demonstrate in every way that you really get this point. You may have spent quality time taking care of the kids, preparing delicious dinner, and even endured so much stress for the better part of the day. When you compare yourself to other wives that you know, you are perfectly convinced that you are doing pretty well. Yet unknown to you, you may be discounting his need for fulfilling sex. I tell you this truth; most husbands would rather have dishes in the sink and a wife waiting in the bedroom. Yes, let all those pending tasks wait. Join him in the bedroom. Learn to seduce him. Seduction doesn’t stop in bed. Be sexy around him and be creative wherever you go. Take initiatives in bed. Your spouse may like taking control in bed, but when you dominate him and show off your confidence, he can’t help but be awed by your confidence and sexiness in bed. Be sexually innovative. Know your moves in bed and everywhere else. Have sex in different places, role play with him, wear an apron and nothing else while cooking something special, tie his hands to the bedpost… You get the drift, don’t you? 5. BRING BACK YOUR DATE NIGHTS: Ordinarily date nights will cost you less than marriage counselling. It is good that you have a regular time to connect with your spouse in a fun and romantic way. If kept regular, it gives you something to look forward to. Such date nights attempts to relive the pleasant times you had while you were dating and courting before plunging into marriage. It is therefore important to avoid turning date nights into family business meetings. Your date nights are to be guarded as pure recreation and pleasure. Date nights keeps the fire of love burning endlessly. Be spontaneous. Shock him, awe him, make plans for the evening or plan an entire elaborate date by yourself. Surprise him and never be too predictable. 6. MAKE YOURSELF ATTRACTIVE: Yes, become his sexy Mama. You have responsibility to take care of your personal appearance. When you were dating, your husband found your body type very attractive. That was why you swept him off his feet. He was totally hooked on your looks. Now that you’re married, it is important that he still finds you attractive. When you take time and effort to watch your weight and dress nicely for your spouse, it communicates volumes. You are telling him, ‘I care about you. You’re still the one for me. I want you to approach me’. No matter the changes you have undergone over the years, be it in stages, in levels, in colour, in weight, in height you can always sustain your attractiveness to your husband and this is very easy if you are conscious of it. There is always a sexy lovely woman in all stages of your life. Just make sure you are the best of what you have become. Get the right clothes, the right hair Page | 4
  5. 5. style, the right colours etc. Get magazines, browse the net, and watch how lovely women of your size and colour put their looks together. Do not ever give up. Try to improve, don’t stay where you are or manage your rubbish. Not all men like rubbish. Give him rubbish they put you in the bin- where you SHOULD NOT belong. Don’t change yourself. Stay true to the real person that you are. Don’t change yourself constantly assuming he doesn’t like your personality. Be creative, but stick to your comfort zone. Smell great all the time. Yes, always smell great around him but don’t overpower subtle fragrances with sickly sweet perfumes though. Always smell good, and pay special attention to your personal hygiene and body odour. Be his arm candy. Look good in his arms when both of you are together. Get a new hairstyle now and then, look fashionable and classy and he’ll never want you to leave his arms. 7. RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND’S NEEDS: Are there some of your husband’s needs that you have discounted? Could it be sex, the cookies you used to bake him, quality time together or going to play games together? When your husband brings his needs to your attention it would be counter-productive to go on the defensive. Listen to him, digest his concerns and act promptly to meet his needs as much as you can. 8. KISS EVERYDAY FOR FIVE TO THIRTY SECONDS: Your husband will definitely like this one. This does not cost money and it will not take you any time to accomplish. When there is a healthy dose of passionate kissing between you and your spouse, it will boost your marriage and keep the flame of love burning between you two. Try to give out plenty of kisses, just like when you were dating. You can for example always see him off to his car garage and leave him with a goodbye kiss. 9. BE ON THE SAME PARENTING PAGE: The kids know that they have the ability to divide and conquer. Don’t ever let this happen. When the kids succeed, your home would have lose its peace. You and your husband are not on opposite Teams when it comes to raising the children. Both of you need to get on the same Team so you can form a united front for the ultimate benefit of your children. As a woman, you need to get your husband to trust you in the upbringing of his kids. A Man wants to be very sure that his kids are brought up perfectly. But women think it is the easiest thing to do but it isn’t. Child training on its own is a fulltime job. Since women spend more time with the children, this brings so much responsibility on the woman. No matter how busy she is, she cannot allow herself to be too preoccupied to the extent that she ignores the allimportant task of bringing up the children. Little wonder why issues relating to the upbringing of kids bring so much fights between husband and wives. 10. BE SMART AND ENTERPRISING: This is the symbol of a virtuous woman. A woman who just goes to work/sleep/care for kids won't attract more love from her husband. Your husband needs to see that you are industrious, that you think beyond your limits and you are bubbling with money making ideas. Even if he decides that he does not want Page | 5
  6. 6. you to work secularly it should still be easy for him to see that you are hardworking and enterprising. When he keeps getting more ideas from you on how to move the family forward, then will he know you are truly his helper and not just a piece of furniture in the house. Have intelligent conversations. A guy may want an arm candy when he’s on the streets, but he also wants a lover who can communicate with him and have intelligent conversations at the end of the day. Men and women don’t always think along the same lines. Learn to think like him and his eyes will well up with happy tears to have the love of a woman so special. Awe his friends. Men are competitive. As long as he thinks he has the best woman in his social circle, he’ll always cling to you and want to be with you. Awe his friends and make them think you’re a great girl, and you’ve done a great job. 11. GIVE HIM SOME SPACE TO LOVE YOU. Most women are always at their husbands faces, giving them no breathing space at all. Either accusing them of this, complaining about that or nagging at every given opportunity they find. Instead of being a wife to your husband he begins seeing you as an opponent that must be defeated to get his peace for the day. He then puts up a hardened face against you and goes on the defensive. A man cannot love a woman from whom he is working very hard to protect himself. Anything you have said twice to your husband in anger and frustration, do not have to say it the third time ...be sensible enough to give God the job to do it for you. Else you project yourself as a nagging wife 12. BE HIS RESUSCITATOR. Every man needs a woman who is there to bring back life to him when he is downcast. A woman who is always there to deactivate, when he activates his defeat mode. A wife whose arms are always open and ready to pick him up when he is falling or when he falls(with her money, her words of encouragement, her love, her time and her prayers). Be his shoulder to lean on Help him deal with life. Men may behave like the saviours of the world. But inside, they’re still little boys who need a cuddle and a hug now and then. Help your man deal with the issues life throws at him. Give him your strength and support when he’s low on morale. Reassure him and help him confide his problems to you. Be his confidant and his warm pillow when he’s in the dumps and he’ll treat you like a goddess. 13. KIND THOUGHTFUL SPEECH: Speak kindly. If someone were to repeat all the things you say to your husband, would it be “news that’s fit to print?” Are you heaping on praise and encouragement, or criticism and sarcasm? Treasure your husband’s efforts to please you and provide for your family. Don’t trash what he does either to his face or behind his back. Your words matter more to him than anyone else’s. 14. SHOW HIM LOVE AND HOW TO LOVE YOU: If you begin to feel those little things that both of you used to spice up your relationship does not matter anymore and complacently allow them to gradually disappear; then before you know it even those Page | 6
  7. 7. ones you consider to be vital will wither away. Therefore, no matter how busy you imagine you are, do not ignore those vital spices. When you ignore those little things, you train him to do the same. Marriage is like a pot of well prepared soup. What makes the soup so sweet and tasty are not the ingredients put in large quantities like oil, water, vegetable etc, Rather, what brings out the sweet taste of the broth are those spices put in very small quantities like salt, maggi, curry etc. Therefore, do not ignore the all important little things that lubricate your marriage and makes it spicy and enjoyable. To achieve this always see your husband as your customer. Your husband is your regular customer. Make sure you keep your customer by giving him good customer service. Public display of affection is in good place. Your spouse may shy away from a bit of PDA, but he still loves it when you cling to his arms like a damsel in distress. It makes him feel more powerful and sexy! 15. HAVE A MEASURE OF INDEPENDENCE: Be in control of your finances and have a well settled job or business. Men love a woman with a steady head on her shoulders. At the same time, they stay a mile away from careless spendthrifts and women who come off as lazy and docile! Men appreciate women who are their complement in the area of finances also. Be independent and dependent. Does this sound contradictory? Be dependent when you’re with him. Be independent when you’re by yourself. It’ll make him feel more like a man when you’re around without really feeling like you’re needy when he’s busy doing something else. Make him proud of you. Men may be shallow at first sight, but they still want a girl they can respect and admire. Be an achiever and a girl he can look up to in awe. Make him dependent on you. As long as he thinks he can’t live without you or if he feels helpless without you, he’ll always stay interested in you. 16. BE HIS FRIEND: A woman can take proactive step to become her husband's good friend. You can learn to spend quality time with your husband in a shared activity. For example, if he is watching a sporting event you could sit down and share it with him. If he is busy on a project, you could hang out nearby to help out, to ask him questions or just to be his companion at the very least. Is he going fishing? You could ask if you could sit in the boat with him....just to be in his world. For a woman to build quality friendship with her husband requires quality shoulder-to-shoulder time alongside him. Whip him when he can’t behave. Treat him like a spoilt child when he doesn’t behave. Ignore his childish behaviour or scold him when he behaves like a slob. Be unpredictable when he misbehaves, and he’ll fear you and respect you at the same time. 17. BE A HAPPY WOMAN: No matter what you do, you cannot make your husband happy if you are not happy. Imagine yourself walking into the living room to join your husband smiling happily. What will be his reaction? Even without your saying a word, he will join you in smiling. Yes, happiness is contagious. Smile. You’ve probably heard the saying “Happy wife, happy life.” Most, if not all, husbands would certainly agree to that! When Page | 7
  8. 8. a wife is unhappy, everyone in the household knows. Some days you may not feel like smiling around the house, but go ahead and fake it at first. Put that plastic smile on and most likely, your natural beautiful smile will emerge shortly thereafter. When you smile, you are telling your husband “I’m happy to be married to you. I am thankful for a great life with you.” Happiness is infectious. No matter what you are going through maintain you peace. Mood changing will always result to what I call The Give and take Drama. When you give out the sad and angry mood/look it affects your husband (and every member of your family) so he gives you the same look and then you draw him away from you. Men are babies; they don't have the time to console you all the time. It is not in their nature. They've got a lot to think about so they need to be consoled too. So stop being a cry baby. Too hard to do but it's the truth. You will only frustrate him the more. Be happy and interesting in every way. Be interesting and creative with your life. See the happy side in everything, even in the most mundane of days. When you’re an optimist, your infectious happiness will definitely rub off on him. 18. MAKE HIM FEEL APPRECIATED: Many husbands feel that their wives do not appreciate the things that they do. By nature, men are doers. Think about it, from the beginning of time men have been leaving the cave, going out and killing something, and dragging it back to provide for their families. Granted, times have changed and there are plenty of women who leave the cave and go out and kill stuff now too, but men's perspectives have not changed all that much and they want to know that their wives appreciate the things they do. Telling him and showing him that he is appreciated will go a long way to making your husband fall in love with you again. One way to accomplish this is to praise him both privately and in front of others. This should not be a mere act of hypocrisy or to show off, but such praises should come from your heart. When the woman in his life shows her appreciation for him in front of others, he’ll be grateful and glad to have someone who supports him and stands by him. Show interest in his hobbies. A man would absolutely love a woman who shows interest in his special hobbies, be it watching his favourite team play or some other out-door games. Men want to spend their lives with a woman who truly understands them and connects to them. 19. MAKE HIM FEEL SECURE: This is particularly important if your husband has the tendency to be jealous. I really doubt if there’s any man who is not jealous. Do not make him feel that you are interested in someone else or he isn't man enough to meet your sexual needs. While men may have epic egos, they’re also extremely fragile when it comes to the matters of the heart. They feel threatened easily, and go into an insecure shell. Avoid making him feel insecure in the right way and he’ll love you more. For example you can include him in a conversation as a saviour. Men have a protective instinct, and Page | 8
  9. 9. so does your man. Your jealous husband may feel threatened by other guys talking to you or flirting with you and may feel uncomfortable about it. The next time a friend of yours tries to flirt with you or sweet talks with you when you’re with your Hubby, pull your Hubby closer by his arm in jest, and dramatically tell him you need “help with an annoying guy” or “his assistance in proving a point to your friend who’s bugging you.” By involving him when someone’s flirting with you, it would definitely reassure your jealous Hubby and stop him from wondering if there’s something sneaky going on behind his back. Even if he is not the too jealous type, this move by you will make him more crazy about you. Another thing you can do is to involve him in your social activities Jealous husbands can create epic fantasies and illusions in their mind when they’re feeling threatened. Every time you go out with your friends, he may end up brooding about what you’re doing, whom you’re flirting with or who’s pawing you. To make him feel better and stop spinning flirty tales in his head, try to involve him in your social activities for a few months. Let him realize by himself that you’re not on a flirting spree every time you go out with your own friends. Learning to have him in your arms is another way. Jealous husbands are easily unsettled with the simplest scenarios. And it all starts and ends with you talking to other guys. It’s really annoying, but if you do want to help him lose the jealous streak, have him in your arms at all times when you’re hanging out with a group of friends. By “showing him off” when you’re around male friends, you’ll be able to help him trust you and feel better, especially if you’re constantly giving him your attention. Indulging in public display of affection with your husband may make him uncomfortable, but he would still love it. By getting cuddly in public, either by holding his hands or kissing his cheek, you’re willing to let the world know that both of you are a couple. And that can be a huge reassurance especially if he is the jealous husband who’s always looking for little reasons to wonder if you really do love him. If yours is the jealous husband, always re-assure him rather than getting angry. Let’s face it, jealous men are not the best husbands to have. But in almost all cases, a man doesn’t become jealous unless he feels insecure or assumes you’re not really in love with him. Jealousy is actually a plea for help, and not a way to show off his domination over you. So if you ever find him sulking or sitting in a corner and huffing and puffing, don’t get upset or angry with him. Instead, hold his face in your palms and remind him about how much you love him. You’ll see a big toothy grin popping out of his face in no time! Page | 9
  10. 10. 20. PRAY TO GOD: Pray to God to continually keep the love you share safe. And if it appears as if you are losing it, ask God to restore it. Do not underestimate the plan of the devil. In one day he can destroy a love story of many years. Always Pray to have the heart of your husband. 21. WIN OVER HIS FAMILY: Yes, we know we promised to show you twenty ways to make your husband love you. Now we are giving you twenty-one ways. You can take this last one as a bonus. It is very important to win over your husband’s family. Men are attached to their families and a few guys are even loyal mama’s boys. Make his family and friends think you’re a catch and he’ll definitely love you more. So which of these suggestions do you think would bless your husband the most? Try implementing that tip this week and then keep adding to your repertoire. You will have one very happy husband! And he’ll never leave you. Page | 10