1) Let love be genuine. (V9) What is love? 1 John 4:10 (ESV)In this is love, not that we have loved Godbut that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
The Biblical view on BGR canonly be found in its high view ofmarriage.
1) Let love be genuine. (V9) • Marriage should be the end goal of Christian courtship. Ephesians 5:31-33 (ESV) 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become oneflesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1) Let love be genuine. (V9) • Marriage is a profound mystery. It is about Christ and His Church. Ephesians 5:31-33 (ESV) 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become oneflesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
The gospel tells us the source ofinspiration for all love stories.One that points to our deepestlonging – God.
1) Let love be genuine. (V9)• Marriage is a foreshadow of the gospel. GOSPEL Creation Fall Redemption Restoration
The gospel is the story fromGenesis to Revelation of anever-faithful sovereign CreatorGod pursuing the unfaithfulbride He has set His eternalaffection upon.
1) Let love be genuine. (V9)• Marriage is a foreshadow of the gospel. GOSPEL Redemption Where we are: The “Now And Not Yet” Restoration
How we ought to view one another in the light of the gospel…
Romans 12:1I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by themercies of God, to present your bodies as aliving sacrifice, holy and acceptable toGod, which is your spiritual worship.Christians ought to see all of life asworship, including our BGRs and marriages. Yes, it isthat radical.Implication: There is no space for recreational datingin Christianity.
On the “now and not yet” ofmarriage…Because this momentarymarriage is a foretaste of theeternal one, it is therefore verygood. At the same time, it alsodoesn’t truly satisfy.
“Most foundationally, marriage is the doingof God. And ultimately, marriage is thedisplay of God. It displays the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his people tothe world in a way that no other event orinstitution does. Marriage, therefore, is notmainly about being in love. It’s mainly abouttelling the truth with our lives. And stayingmarried is not about staying in love. It isabout keeping covenant and putting the gloryof Christ’s covenant-keeping love on display.” - John Piper
I, Yvonne, take you, Jacob, to be my wedded husband.With deepest joy, I come into my new life with you.As Christ is to His Church as Lord, I joyfully pledge myself to be your loving andfaithful wife.With confidence, I submit myself to your headship as to the Lord.I promise I will live first unto God above any others, and even above you.I promise I will follow you as you lead me towards faith and hope in ChristJesus, remembering and reminding us to follow Him wherever He leads us and notgrow comfortable in this world.I promise to support you, comfort you and encourage you through this life.I promise to love you unconditionally in every way, all your flaws and imperfectionsand all your sorrows and tears, which include all of your past and all that is to come.I promise to share all that I am with you, and that includes my favourite food.I promise, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health,To laugh, cry and walk with you till we are both grey and our lives completely pouredout like drink offering.These promises are the weightiest and most joyful commitment I have ever made andall these I know, requires enablement from God. With that, I pledge myself to you, bythe grace of God, as your loving and faithful wife.
A Quick Note on “Singleness” • Knowing the weight of marriage does not downplay the gift of singleness• Both the gifts of marriage and singleness points to the eternal glory that is to come.
"If marriage is good, singleness is also good. Its an example of thebalance of Scripture that, although Genesis 2:18 indicates that it is good tomarry, 1 Cor 7:1 (in answer to a question posed by the Corinthians) saysthat "it is good for a man not to marry." So both the married and the singlestates are "good"; neither is in itself better or worse than the other. "Eachperson has his or her own gift of Gods grace" (1 Cor. 7:7).During my 20s and 30s, like most people, I was expecting to marry oneday. In fact, during this period I twice began to develop a relationshipwith a lady who I thought might be Gods choice of life-partner for me.But when the time came to make a decision, I can best explain it bysaying that I lacked an assurance from God that he meant me to goforward. So I drew back. And when that had happened twice, I naturallybegan to believe that God meant me to remain single. Looking back, withthe benefit of hindsight, I think I know why. I could never have traveledor written as extensively as I have done if I had had the responsibilities ofa wife and family.Although I have no children of my own, I have hundreds of adoptednephews and nieces all over the world, who call me "Uncle John." Icherish these affectionate relationships; they greatly lessen, even if theydo not altogether deaden, occasional pangs of loneliness."
Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)“Let love be genuine.” (V9)Are we prepared to allow the gospelto re-define our idea of love?
Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)1) Let love be genuine. (V9)2) Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. (V9)
2) Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. (V9)
2) Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. (V9) Discernment God’s Word Community
2) Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. (V9) • God’s Word is our Definition Romans 12:2Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed bythe renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
How do we define Mr or Ms Right? Listof criteria?• A recent convert• Widowed• Broke• Homeless• From a family noted for incest• Has a bitter mother-in-law
A quick note on being “equally yoked” (2 Cor 6:14)
CommunityOption 1: Option 2:Master GODMission Mate BOY GIRL
“The two enemies of the gospel areirreligion (antinomianism) and religion(legalism). One disobeys God to getwhat you want, the other obeys God toget what you want. Christians ought torepent not just for the wrongs wedo, but for the reasons we do rights.” – Tim Keller (paraphrased)
How we can use God to get what we want Option 2: Option 1: GIRL BOY Mate Mission GOD “Master”
Romans 12:9-10 (ESV)1) Let love be genuine. (V9)2) Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. (V9)3) Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. (V10)
3) Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo oneanother in showing honor. (V10) 1 Timothy 5:1-2 Do not rebuke an older man but encouragehim as you would a father, younger men asbrothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
The Christian community ought to bemarked by radical warmth.How can we show one another brotherlysisterly affection without “sending thewrong signal” or “tempting ourselves tohave the wrong motive”?
How we can show dishonor to oneanother in a Christian community 1) “It’s my love language!” 2) “Feels good but I don’t know where we are heading.” (more for guys) 3) “My hobby is to collect admirers.” 4) “Well, I’m still giving him a chance.” (more for ladies) 5) “I need a fellowship group to find a partner!”
Romans 12:9-10 (ESV) 9Let love be genuine. Abhorwhat is evil; hold fast to what isgood. 10 Love one another withbrotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
• Maximise your singleness for God• He should initiate and she should respond• Do not pursue a relationship until you are ready to marry• Theology and hermeneutics matter• Be careful of reducing relationships to a set of formula• Guard your heart for the Lord• Join a DG!Wait… what about FAQs like is it okay to date a non-Christianor have premarital physical intimacy? (go back to Rom 12:1)Finally, Practical Advice
“Doesnt He want meto be happy?” (I heardan echo of Eve inEden.)“He wants you most tobe holy.”- ElisabethElliot, “Passion andPurity: Learning toBring Your Love LifeUnder Christs Control”
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