Conflict is when two or more values, perspectives and opinions are contradictory in nature and haven't been aligned or agreed about yet, including: 1. Within yourself when you're not living according to your values; 2. When your values and perspectives are threatened; or 3. Discomfort from fear of the unknown or from lack of fulfillment. Conflict is inevitable and often good, for example, good teams always go through a "form, storm, norm and perform" period. Getting the most out of diversity means often-contradictory values, perspectives and opinions.
Conflict is often needed. It: 1. Helps to raise and address problems. 2. Energizes work to be on the most appropriate issues. 3. Helps people "be real", for example, it motivates them to participate. 4. Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences. Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict isn't the problem - it is when conflict is poorly managed that is the problem
no one achieves his or her true desires and the underlying reasons for conflict remain unaffected.
uses force, superior skill, or domination to win a conflict.
occurs when each party to the conflict gives up something of value to the other.
one party achieves its desires and the other party does not.
involves working through conflict differences and solving problems so everyone wins.
the conflict is resolved to everyone’s benefit.
Approach Objective Your Posture Supporting Rationale Likely Outcome Forcing Get your way. “ I know what’s right. Don’t question my judgment or authority.” It is better to risk causing a few hard feelings than to abandon a position you are committed to. You feel vindicated, but other party feels defeated and possibly humiliated. Avoiding Avoid having to deal with conflict. “ I’m neutral on that issue. Let me think about it.” Disagreements are inherently bad because they create tension. Interpersonal problems don’t get resolved, causing long-term frustration. Accommodating Don’t upset the other person. “ How can I help you feel good about this issue? ” Maintaining harmonious relationships should be our top priority. Other person is likely to take advantage of you.
Approach Objective Your Posture Supporting Rationale Likely Outcome Compromising Reach an agreement quickly. “ Let’s search for a mutually agreeable solution.” Prolonged conflicts distract people from their work and cultivates bitter feelings. Participants become conditioned to seek an alternative, rather than effective solution. Collaborating Solve the problem together. “ This is my position. What is yours? I’m committed to finding the best possible solution.” The positions of both parties are equally important (though not necessarily equally valid). Equality emphasis should be placed on the quality of the outcome and the fairness of the decision-making. Participants find an effective solution.