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Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!
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Book Summary - What got you here wont get you there!

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  • 1. Prof  Shivananda  R  Koteshwar   Director,  The  Amaatra  Academy   shivoo@pes.edu  /  Facebook:  shivoo.koteshwar   What got you here wont get you there Sept 23rd 2013 v1.0 BLOG: http://shivookoteshwar.wordpress.com SLIDESHARE: www.slideshare.net/shivoo.koteshwar
  • 2. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 2 The Book   What Got You Here Won’t Get You There   By Marshall Goldsmith   ISBN-10: 1-84668-137-5   ISBN-13: 978-1-84668-137-0 How successful people become even more successful Success people’s stories are not so much about overcoming enormous obstacles and handicaps but rather about avoiding high-risk, low reward situation and doing everything in their power to increase the odds in their favor 2
  • 3. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 3 Perception – You vs. Your boss/colleague/subordinates/clients You think you are They see it as Having all the answers Arrogance Contributing to a situation with helpful comments Butting in Delegating effectively Shirking responsibilities Holding your tongue Unresponsiveness Letting people think for themselves Ignoring them Giving people benefit of your years of experience Micromanaging and excessive meddling Winning over your client with overwhelming evidence Egoistic personality 3
  • 4. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 4   Past performance   I have succeeded   Ability to influence their success (Rather than just being lucky)   I can succeed   Optimistic belief that their success will continue in future   I will succeed   Sense of control over their own destiny (as opposed to being controlled by external forces)   I choose to succeed Why successful people have resistance to change?4
  • 5. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 5   I have succeeded   Because of my skills and talent I have won consistently. When I get up in the morning, I edit my failures and choose to reel the highlight of my success. This motivates me to get up –Self Aggrandizing   When I face a pitcher whom I have hit well in the past, I always go up to the plate thinking I ‘own’ this guy. When I face a pitcher whom I have not hit well in the past, I go up thinking I can hit this guy because I have hit pitchers a lot better than he is   I can succeed   I have capability within me to make desirable things happen. I believe through sheer force of personality or talent or brainpower, I can steer a situation in my direction – Self Efficacy   I see opportunities where you see threats. I will take greater risks to achieve greater returns.   I will always bet on myself and not a victim of fate. Success is earned through motivation and ability and not luck, random chance or external factors. I believe there is a link between what I have done and how far I have come   I will succeed   Its not just I can manufacture success, I believe success is my due   I set a goal, publicly announce it and do whatever it takes to achieve the goal   My over commitment is not because I am trying to save a sinking ship but I am drowning in a sea of opportunities   I choose to succeed   When I do what I choose to do, I am committed. Self Determination   Personal commitment encourages me to stay the course and not give up when the going gets tough   Because of my cognitive dissonance, I don’t buckle and waver when times get tough. I am committed to my goals and beliefs. Through the eyes of successful people – 4 success Beliefs5
  • 6. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 6   Fact : “I am successful and I behave this way”   Successful people read that as: “ I am successful because I behave this way   Instead of: “I am successful in spite of this behavior”   We will succeed attitude sometimes leads to staff burnout, high turnover and a weaker team than the one you started with. Over commitment is dangerous   More we believe that our behavior is a result of our own choices and commitments, the less likely we are to want to change our behavior Success sometimes breeds behavioral problems 6
  • 7. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 7 1.  Winning too much 2.  Adding too much value 3.  Passing judgment 4.  Making destructive comments 5.  Starting with No, But or however 6.  Telling the world how smart we are 7.  Speaking when angry 8.  Negativity or Let me explain why it wont work 9.  Withholding information 10.  Failing to give proper recognition 20 Habits to avoid 11.  Claiming credit that we don’t deserve 12.  Making excuses 13.  Clinging to the past 14.  Playing favorites 15.  Refusing to express regret 16.  Not listening 17.  Failing to express gratitude 18.  Punishing the messenger 19.  Passing the buck 20.  An excessive need to be me 7
  • 8. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 8   All flaws are around information and emotion (Either more or less)   Information Compulsion or Withholding information AND   Emotion Centered   Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations   Its not a genetic defect, you are just living out the expectations you have chosen to believe   The only difference between the near great and the great is that the great ones never have an off switch for caring and empathy and showing respect. Its always on 20 Habits to avoid 8
  • 9. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 9 1.  Winning Too much   If the need to win is the dominant gene in our success DNA the overwhelming reason we are successful, then winning too much is a perverse genetic mutation that can limit our success 2.  Adding too much value   When someone comes to you with an idea, rather than just patting him on the back and saying “Good idea”, your inclination is to say “Good idea, but it would be better if you tried it this way”. Now you might have improved the content by 5% but you have reduced his commitment to execute by 50% because you have taken away the ownership of the idea   Higher up you go in the organization, more you need to make other people winners and not make it about winning yourself Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations 9
  • 10. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 10 3.  Passing Judgment   There is nothing wrong with offering an opinion in the normal business discussion as you want people to agree or disagree freely but its not appropriate to pass judgment when we specifically ask people to voice their opinion about us   People don’t like to be critiqued, however obliquely. That’s why passing judgment is like pushing people away and hold ourselves back from greater success. The only sure thing that comes out of passing judgment on people’s efforts to help is that they wont help us again 4.  Passing destructive comments   Destructive comments are the cutting sarcasm we make with or without intention, that serve no other purpose than to put people down, hurt them or assert ourselves as their superiors   They are different from comments that add too much value – because they add nothing but pain   The fact that a destructive comment is true is irrelevant. The question is not, “Is it true?” but rather “Is it worth it?” Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations 10
  • 11. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 11 5.  Starting with “No”, “But”, or “However”   When you start with “No”, “But”, or “However”, or any other variation thereof, no matter how friendly your tone is, the message to the other person is “You are wrong”. Nothing productive can happen after that   Never use “That’s true, however …” or “Yes, but…” 6.  Telling the world how smart we are   What backfires is need to win people’s admiration, need to let them know that we are atleast their intellectual equal if not their superior, need to be the smartest person in the room   Being smart turns people one, but announcing how smart you are turns them off Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations 11
  • 12. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 12 7.  Speaking when angry   Emotional volatility is not the most reliable leadership tool. When you get angry, you are usually out of control and when you are out of control its hard to lead people.   You may think you have a handle on your temper that you can use your spontaneous rages to manipulate and motivate people, but its very hard to predict how people will react to anger   Anger is rarely someone else’s fault. It’s a flaw that’s solely our own 8.  Negativity or “Let me explain why that won’t work”   “Let me explain why that won’t work” is a unique flaw because it is pure unadulterated negativity under the guise of being helpful Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations 12
  • 13. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 13 9.  Withholding Information   Information is power which makes withholding information even more extreme and irritating   Intentionally withholding information is the opposite of adding value. We are deleting value. Yet it has the same purpose: To gain power   The problem with not sharing information is that it rarely achieves the desired effect. You may think you are gaining an edge and consolidating power, but you area actually breeding mistrust.   Withholding information is nothing more than a misplaced need to win 10.  Failing to give proper recognition   In withholding the recognition of another person’s contribution to a team’s success, you are not only sowing injustice and treating people unfairly but you are depriving people of the emotional payoff that comes with success   In depriving people of recognition, you are depriving them of closure and everybody needs closure in any interpersonal transaction   Successful people or achievers become great leaders when they learn to shift the focus from themselves to others Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations 13
  • 14. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 14 11.  Claiming credit that we don’t deserve   Claiming credit is adding insult to injury that comes with overlooked recognition   When someone you work with steals the credit for a success that you created, they are committing the most rage-inducing interpersonal crime in the workplace   Great leaders need to transform self from credit miser to credit philanthropist   Look at every episode and ask yourself if its in any way possible that someone else might deserve the credit for your achievement. If yes, acknowledge 12.  Making Excuses   Once people reach the age of accountability, no matter what people do to them, it cannot be an excuse for any mistakes they make   If we stop excusing ourselves, we can get better at almost anything we choose Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations 14
  • 15. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 15 13.  Clinging to the past   Going backwards is not about creating change, its about understanding.   Understanding is perfectly admissible if your issue is accepting the past. But if your issue is changing the future, understanding will not take you there   People who cling to the past, convince themselves why they are the way they are and don’t change. They also use it to contrast it with the present –usually to highlight something positive about themselves at the expense of someone else   Sometimes we blame other people not as an excuse for our failures, but as a subtle way of highlighting our successes   Stop blaming others for the choices you made   Never use “When I was your age …?” 14.  Making Excuses   Our recognition of people may be linked to how much they seem to like us rather than how well they perform. That’s the definition of playing favorites   Rewarding those who heap unthinking, unconditional admiration upon us is not right   Leaders can stop encouraging this behavior by first admitting that we all have a tendency to favor those who favor us, even if we don’t mean to Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations 15
  • 16. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 16 15.  Refusing to express regret   We think apologizing means we have lost a contest   All the fears that lead us to resist apologizing – the fear of losing, admitting we are wrong, ceding, control – are actually erased by an apology   If you put all your cards in someone else’s hands that person will treat you better than if you kept the cards to yourself   Apologizing is one of the most powerful and resonant gestures in the human arsenal –almost as powerful as a declaration of love   Do admit guilt, ask for an apology and plea for help. When you declare your dependence on others, they usually agree to help 16.  Not Listening   Not listening is a silent invisible activity. People rarely notice you doing it. You cannot be listening because you are bored or distracted or busy composing what you want to say and no one will know it but when you display extreme impatience, they notice it   Poor listening can happen because you think you already knew what you are about to hear or your mind works so fast that you could comprehend any message by filling the blanks yourself   In the past very bright people would put up with disrespectful behavior, but in the future they will leave   Stop saying or thinking – “NEXT” Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations 16
  • 17. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 17 17.  Failing to express gratitude   “Thank you” is what you say when you have nothing nice to say. It will never annoy the person hearing it   Positive or negative feedback, always say “Thank you” because no matter what someone tells you, remind yourself, “I wont learn less”   When somebody makes a suggestion or gives you ideas, you are either going to learn more or learn nothing. But you are not going to learn less.   Hearing people does not make you dumber, so thank them for trying to help   Never say “I am confused ..” when someone suggests something because its subtle and dishonest. You are actually saying “You are confused” which means “You are wrong”   Saying “Thank you” keeps people talking to you. Failing to say “Thank You” shuts them down   Gratitude is not a limited resource, nor is it costly. It is as abundant as air. We breather it in but forget to exhale 18.  Punishing the messenger   Its not always the unjust retaliatory action we take against a whistle blower or the angry tirade we heap upon someone who tells us something we don’t enjoy hearing, it’s also the small responses we make throughout the day whenever we are inconvenienced or disappointed- like a momentary snort of disgust you exhale Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations 17
  • 18. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 18 19.  Passing the buck   A leader who cannot shoulder the blame is not someone anyone will follow blindly into battle   Passing the buck is the dark flip side of claiming credit that others deserve. In addition to depriving others of their rightful glory for a success, we wrongfully saddle them with the shame of our failure   Nobody expects us to be right all the time but when we are wrong, they certainly expect us to own up to it. Being wrong is an opportunity to show what kind of person and leader we are   How well you own up to your mistakes makes a bigger impression than how you revel in your successes 20.  An excessive need to be “me”   It would be easy for each of us to cross the line and begin to make a virtue of our flaws –simply because the flaws constitute what we think of as “me”. This misguided loyalty to our true natures- this excessive need to be me is one of the toughest obstacles to making positive long term change in our behavior   “Good job” on a report even when the performance was not 100% perfect never damages the reputation of a demanding boss. The pay off in terms of improved morale and performance will be enormous.   Less me , more them equals success   When you find yourself resisting change because you are clinging to a false notion of “me”, its not about you, its about what other people think of you Appreciate the flaw and work to suppress it in your interpersonal relations 18
  • 19. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 19   By itself, goal obsession is not a flaw but taken too far, it can become a blatant cause of failure   It comes from misunderstanding what others want us to do   Goal obsession is not a flaw but a creator of flaws   Our quest for a successful outcome may end up doing more harm than good to our organization and ourselves   Short sighted goal is dangerous. While achieving a task, never forget the organization's mission   After all the efforts and display of professional prowess, you don’t want to find yourself at a dead end, asking, “What have I done?” 21 Habit: Goal Obsession 19
  • 20. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 20   As mentioned earlier, all the flaws are centered around information and emotions   Information and emotion - Nothing wrong in either sharing or withholding   Its good to share that helps people   Its good to withhold when it harms people   Key is to ask 2 Questions when sharing information/emotions 1.  Is it appropriate? 2.  How much should I convey? How can we change for better? 20
  • 21. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 21   7 Step method for changing our interpersonal relationships and making these changes permanent 1.  Feedback 2.  Apologizing 3.  Telling the world or Advertising 4.  Listening 5.  Thanking 6.  Following up 7.  Practicing Feedforward How can we change for better? 21
  • 22. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 22   We need feedback to see where we are, how we are doing, where we need to go and to measure our progress   Feedback tell us what to change, not how to do it   Traditional Feedback issues   Feedback are usually focused on the past (Failed past) and not towards positive future   Negative feedback can shut people down and change cannot happen in this environment   Change involves 2 parties. Person who’s changing and the people who notice it   Before working your flaw, you need 4 commitments from your coworker 1.  Let go off the past 2.  Tell the truth 3.  Be supportive and helpful – not cynical or negative 4.  Pick something to improve yourself – so everyone is focused more in improving than judging Feedback 1 22
  • 23. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 23   Stop asking for feedback and then expressing your opinion   Our opinion will sound defensive however we say it. It will resemble a rationalization, a denial, a negation or an objection   Pure issue-free feedback that make change possible has to solicit advice rather than criticism, be directed towards future rather than obsessed with past and be couched in a way that suggests that you will act on it   Feedbacks comes to us in 3 forms 1.  Solicited 2.  Unsolicited 3.  Observation Feedback Known to Others Unknown to Others Unknown to Self Known to Self Public Knowledge Private KnowledgeUnknowable Blind Spots Feedbacks 1 23
  • 24. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 24   Solicited Feedback   Ask the right people, Ask the right questions, Interpret the answers properly and Accept them as accurate   Unsolicited Feedback   What is unknown to us might be known to others. We can learn from that   If we stop, listen and think about what others are seeing in us, we have a great opportunity. We can bring the real changes that are needed to close the gap between our stated values and actual behavior   Observational Feedback (5 ways) 1.  Make a list of people’s casual remarks about you. By ranking them as negative or positive, you are turning in the world with 2 new weapons: Judgment and Purpose 2.  Turn the sound off (Watch the gesture and body language). With this you are increasing your sensitivity to others by counterintuitive eliminating the precious sense of hearing 3.  Complete the sentence   List the positive benefits that will accrue to you if you achieve your goal. As you go deeper into it, answers become more personal. As the benefits you list become less expected and more personal and meaningful to you, that’s when you know that you have given yourself valuable feedback –that’s when you have hit an interpersonal skill that you really want and need to improve   This is a retrograde analysis – Seeing the end result and then identifying the skill you will need to achieve it 4.  Listen to your self aggrandizing remarks   Stuff people boast about as their strengths, more often than not, turn out to be their most egregious weakness   Stop saying: “May be I am not an expert in this, but ..” – This means you believe you are an expert. Similarly “May be I wasn’t paying attention, …” – Means “I was paying full attention and I don’t agree with what you are saying”   By doing this you are flipping your world upside down and seeing that you are no different from anyone else 5.  Look homeward   Your flaws at work don’t vanish when you walk through the front door at home   You realize not only you need to change but why it matters so much Feedback 1 24
  • 25. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 25   Without apology there is no recognition that mistakes have been made, there is no announcement to the world of the intention to change and most important this is no emotional contract between you and the people you care about   Its not what you say, its what they hear   When it comes to apologizing, get in and get out as quickly as possible. The sooner you get the apology over with, the sooner you can move on to telling the world Apologizing 2 Telling the world or Advertising 3 •  After you apologize, you must advertise. Its not enough to tell everyone that you want to get better; you have to declare exactly in what area you plan to change 25
  • 26. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 26   What good listeners do: (Have a toll booth between their mind and tongue!)   They think before they speak   They listen with respect and   They are always gauging their response by asking themselves “Is it worth it”   Tricks for developing good listening skills   Listen   Don’t interrupt   Don’t finish the other person’s sentences   Don’t say “I knew that”   Don’t even agree with the other person (Even if he praises you, just say “Thank you”   Don’t use the words, “no”, “but”, “however”   Don’t be distracted. Don’t let your eyes or attention wander elsewhere while the other person is talking   Maintain your end of the dialogue by asking intelligent questions that show you are paying attention, move the conversation forward and require the other person to talk   Eliminate any striving to impress the other person with how smart or funny you are. Your only aim is to let the other person feel that he/she is accomplishing that   Don’t interrupt, judge, dispute or deny when listening. Shut mouth except for saying “Thank you” Listening 4 Thanking 5 •  Thanking works because it expresses one of our most basic emotions – Gratitude •  When someone does something nice for you, they expect gratitude and they think less of you for withholding it 26
  • 27. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 27   Follow-up is   how you measure progress   how we remind people that we are making an effort to change and that they are helping us   how our efforts eventually get imprinted on our colleagues' minds   How we acknowledge to ourselves and others that getting better is an ongoing process   More than anything, Follow-up makes us do it.   Follow-up is important because   Not everyone responds to executive development, at least not in the way the organization desires or intends   There is an enormous disconnect between understanding and doing   People don’t get better without follow-up   Becoming a better leader or a better person is a process, not an event Following Up 6 27
  • 28. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 28   Feedback is past tense, feedforward is future perfect   Feedforward works because leaders don’t particularly like hearing criticism (Negative feedback), successful people love getting ideas for the future   Unlike feedback, which often introduces a discussion of mistakes and shortfalls, feedforward focuses on solutions and not problems   When it comes to our flawed past, leave it at the stream. It does not mean we should always let go of the past. One needs feedback to scour the past and identify room for improvement. But you can’t change the past; to change you need to be sharing ideas for the future.   Feedforward is a simple 4 step process 1.  Pick the one behavior that you would like to change which would make a significant positive difference in your life 2.  Describe this objective in one-on-one dialogue with anyone you know 3.  Ask that person for two suggestions for the future that might help you achieve a positive change in your selected behavior 4.  Listen attentively to the suggestion. The only response you are permitted to say is “Thank you” Practicing Feedforward 7 28
  • 29. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © 29 1.  You might not have a disease that behavioral change can cure (It might be a skill problem) 2.  Pick the right thing to change 3.  Don’t mislead yourself about what you really want to change 4.  Don’t hide from the truth you need to hear 5.  There is no ideal behavior – Sometimes desire for “perfect” can drive away “better” so be careful 6.  If you can measure it, you can achieve it 7.  Monetize the result, create a solution 8.  Best time to change is “NOW” 8 rules that will help you get better handle on the process of change 29
  • 30. Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar © Thank You ! Prof Shivananda R Koteshwar shivoo@pes.edu BLOG: http://shivookoteshwar.wordpress.com SLIDESHARE: www.slideshare.net/shivoo.koteshwar

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