What they didn’t tell you

About teaching

Twas the night before term starts

And all through the house

Not a creature will be stirring

Except you still marking

Whilst your friends have a life

You won’t!

You suddenly find yourself saying

“ I can’t not on a school night”

“ Friends become distant acquaintances

That you catch up with Christmas and Birthdays

You find yourself telling people the same thing in three different ways

When it’s the end of term When it’s the end of term

You won’t be doing this

You will be doing this

Or this

Teaching is like being a comedian

Your audience expects to be entertained

So expect heckling at every opportunity

Punters to talk over you

Continual trips to the loo

The aroma of stale B.O.

Rustling of stashed crisp packets

And if you are really nervous

They CAN smell your fear

And will turn into this

You must always be positive

Even when you want to do this

When you go shopping

Spotting you will be the highlight of their day

Except they don’t want your autograph

They are just amazed you are actually a real person

If you are really hated or loved it will like having your own paparazzi

With your shopping trip documented on You Tube

So drive 40 miles away if you want any of these

Or these

And you will need to find alternatives to swear words Fudge it! Shoot Oh Billiards

And learn a whole new version of the English language You gypsy Chav That’s so gay Minger

But there are positives!

You get to watch interesting student debates

Attend inspiring meetings

Enjoy the thrill of not being listened too all day

Being spoken to like a piece of …

Endure teenage hormones that even parents don’t want to put up with

Have your performance constantly measured

But the ultimate in pleasure has to be . .

Just when you get teaching sussed out

You get a new Government initiative

That was ditched 15 years ago for what reason?

So why teach?

For love?

For respect?

For money?

The excellent pension?

NO ?

Well there is a credit crunch!

And finally what do you call a group of like minded teachers?

A whinge!

Jacqueline Hicks © 2008 [email_address]