Having a Marriage of Influence<br />Week 1: Impacting Family<br />Guest Speakers<br />Bill & Dawn Bowan<br />October 2, 20...
Whatdoesitmean to influence?<br />Matthew 5:13-16<br />    “You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its salt...
Having a Marriage of Influence<br />ImpactingYourFamily<br />
Our Family…<br />
Our Family…<br />
Whatlegacy do youwant to leave for yourfamily?<br />
ImpactingFamily<br /><ul><li>Today’sFamily
Christ’s Expectations
 Real Life Examples & Application</li></li></ul><li>Today’sFamily<br />Whatdoes the Modern Family look like?<br />
Today’sFamily:What has the family unit become?<br />
Today’sFamily:Doeshavingchildrenmake parents more active churchgoers?<br />
What are the long termeffects of churchattendance?<br /><ul><li>8 out of 10 adultsremembersconsistentlyattendingSundayscho...
Of people who attended Sundayschooleveryweek as a child, 50% went to church the previousweek and 32% reportedhaving an act...
Of people whonever attended as a child, 26% went to church the previousweek and 17% reportedhaving an active faith.</li></...
Christ’s Expectations: FaithStartsAt Home<br />I Timothy 3: 4-5<br />    “He must manage his own family well and see that ...
Christ’s Expectations: Daily Life ShouldRevealFaith<br />Deuteronomy 6:6-7<br />    “These commandments that I give you to...
Christ’s Expectations: Faith’s Influence Endures<br />Proverbs 22:6<br />    “Train a child in the way he should go, and w...
Real Life ApplicationHow do weactupon the challenge to influence ourfamilies?<br /><ul><li>  Start Simple
  Be REAL
  Set a standard
Make service a part of yourfamily</li></li></ul><li>Real Life ApplicationStart Simple<br />Colossians 3:2<br />    “Set yo...
Real Life ApplicationBe REAL<br />CNN Article <br />More teens are becomingfakeChristians…<br />"If teenagers lack an arti...
Real Life ApplicationSet a Standard<br />Colossians 4:5-6<br />    “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the ...
Real Life ApplicationSet a Standard<br />Wayswehideour light…<br /><ul><li>Being quiet whenweshouldspeak
Allowing sin to dimour light
Not explainingour light to others</li></li></ul><li>Real Life ApplicationSet a Standard<br />Let your light shine…<br /><u...
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Having a marriage of influence impacting family 10.02.10

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Impacting Family message from Bill and Dawn Bowan at the October 2, 2010 Living Marriage young couples event at Elmbrook Church. Week one of the three week Having a Marriage of Influence series.

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  • BILLDiscuss: In today’s world influence is thought to be associated with money, power, politics, etc… We are called to be lights in this world – a Godly influence to those around us. We will focus on this topic the next 3 weeks and really yearn to find tangible ways to influence the world and to learn from each other how to accomplish this in a way that honors Christ. Today we will focus on how marriage influences your family!
  • BILLIntro night and intro us.DAWNPrayer
  • DAWN“Family” might mean different things to each of you… We thought we’d share a little about our family… One year ago we were loving our family of 2 and dreaming about what an expanded family of 3 or more could look like… dreaming about being parents and loving the idea of having a little one to love!…today this is our reality!
  • BILLHow you influence your family today will determine the legacy left in the next generation…Discuss with spouse this question – ask for volunteers to share… Discuss goals for her and that our focus should really be 100% that she hers “God’s voice” in her life. (reference Pete Briscoe)
  • DAWNTonight want to take some time to discuss 3 different aspects of Family…
  • DAWNInsert Modern Family clip…This is how Hollywood sees today’s family unit…. Definitely not ideal or perfect or Christlike…
  • DAWN Not only fictional viewpoint… but reality TV has a big focus on family as well… most of which are filled with controversy, turmoil and brokenness.We should think of Jesus as a part of our family – as a person sitting at our dining room table or in our living room.Because the tv examples and culture does not reflect how Christ would have us live, that further shows the importance of us being a light and an example to the world of how we should live – what are the statistics for Christian families and how are children impacted by the Church
  • BILLhttp://www.barna.org/family-kids-articles/391-does-having-children-make-parents-more-active-churchgoers?q=family+statisticsInsert – pie chart from barna website
  • BILLReduce verbiage…http://www.barna.org/family-kids-articles/321-new-research-explores-the-long-term-effect-of-spiritual-activity-among-children-and-teensDiscuss: In some ways you would think it would be a higher % … These statistics can be discouraging – church attendance alone does not necessarily build a strong Christian foundation. What direction does the Bible give to help us establish a foundation that becomes a Godly legacy.
  • BILL
  • BILLStart with verses from I Timothy … Set the stage for what Timothy is focusing on and discuss Christ’s call to lead your family FIRST!
  • DAWNWe’ll talk about this a little later on within the application part, but these verses really should be guidance for daily living… each of us need to challenge ourselves to have Christ be a major part of our lives – not just a Sunday church activity. We also need to support our spouses and act upon this challenge and continually “check” ourselves and where we are on this journey.
  • DawnWe think of a lot of different things we train our child to do… sleep training and potty training and training wheels for their bikes… Definition: to develop or form the habits, thoughts or behavior by discipline or instruction.So much emphasis on the number of words a toddler says or what college a high schooler is accepted to attend… we need to TRAIN to have an understanding of Christ!
  • BILLTalk about how we are still working in this area and that we are challenged too…
  • BILLPrayer and devotionsPsalm 19 – as we begin each day – determine that God’s love will guide what we do and sayDiscuss: Commit to simple things… make a prayer list that you keep next to your child’s bed, make it a habit to pray, ask them what they want to pray for/aboutMaybe use story of Addison &amp; Clay: Playing Jesus and the Disciples…
  • BILLBased on research interviewing 3,300 American teenagers“Moralistic therapeutic deism” = watered down faith portraying God as devine therapistMost teens cannot speak articulately about their faithToo much emphasis on “being nice” &amp; just keeping kids away from drugs and sexCalls to witness, take action, be involved our missingNeed to instill a deep faith that will “bear the weight of deeper questions”Parents should “do something radical” to live out their faith in front of their childrenDiscuss: Article and Dean’s book “Almost Christian” - share personal story about growing up in the Catholic church – focus on “good deeds” etc – easy to agree with… how did it become REAL
  • DAWNDiscuss: Bill and I have a very interesting mix of family situations. We have one set of parents that are Christians and truly show daily examples of Christ’s love to those around them and to us. We have another set of parents who are not Christians and who over the years have really challenged us to “set a standard” as this slide urges us to do… Beyond not being Christians, there is often tension present during visits b/c of anger, fighting and a substance abuse problem… It seems as tho when we are visiting we go with good intentions of sharing and shining, but we end up just trying to “not upset the apple cart” – so to speak and to get in and out and hope that nothing too upsetting happens!Christ died for us and shows us the ultimate grace daily – we need to show grace to family members … be reminded of the price Christ paid.
  • DAWNDiscuss: Our families and road blocksDiscuss the fruit of the Spirit – this is where we start! – Gal 5:22: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.Discuss tangible ways to fight against hiding our light. Plan in advance ways to bring up Christ in conversation.Ask the Holy Spirit for words and boldness when opportunities present themselves.Stay calm when stressful circumstances arise.Ask your spouse for support/help. Be a team!
  • DAWNDiscuss: Our families and road blocksDiscuss the fruit of the Spirit – this is where we start! – Gal 5:22: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.Discuss tangible ways to fight against hiding our light. Plan in advance ways to bring up Christ in conversation.Ask the Holy Spirit for words and boldness when opportunities present themselves.Stay calm when stressful circumstances arise.Ask your spouse for support/help. Be a team!
  • Dawn
  • BillClosing comments… lead into small group time
  • Having a marriage of influence impacting family 10.02.10

    1. 1. Having a Marriage of Influence<br />Week 1: Impacting Family<br />Guest Speakers<br />Bill & Dawn Bowan<br />October 2, 2010<br />
    2. 2. Whatdoesitmean to influence?<br />Matthew 5:13-16<br /> “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”<br />
    3. 3. Having a Marriage of Influence<br />ImpactingYourFamily<br />
    4. 4. Our Family…<br />
    5. 5. Our Family…<br />
    6. 6. Whatlegacy do youwant to leave for yourfamily?<br />
    7. 7. ImpactingFamily<br /><ul><li>Today’sFamily
    8. 8. Christ’s Expectations
    9. 9. Real Life Examples & Application</li></li></ul><li>Today’sFamily<br />Whatdoes the Modern Family look like?<br />
    10. 10. Today’sFamily:What has the family unit become?<br />
    11. 11. Today’sFamily:Doeshavingchildrenmake parents more active churchgoers?<br />
    12. 12. What are the long termeffects of churchattendance?<br /><ul><li>8 out of 10 adultsremembersconsistentlyattendingSundayschool or someotherreligious training before the age of 12.
    13. 13. Of people who attended Sundayschooleveryweek as a child, 50% went to church the previousweek and 32% reportedhaving an active faith.
    14. 14. Of people whonever attended as a child, 26% went to church the previousweek and 17% reportedhaving an active faith.</li></li></ul><li>Christ’s Expectations<br />FaithStartsat Home<br />Daily Life ShouldRevealFaith<br />Faith’s Influence Endures<br />
    15. 15. Christ’s Expectations: FaithStartsAt Home<br />I Timothy 3: 4-5<br /> “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”<br />I Timothy 3: 11<br /> “In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers, but temperate and trustworthy in everything.”<br />
    16. 16. Christ’s Expectations: Daily Life ShouldRevealFaith<br />Deuteronomy 6:6-7<br /> “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”<br />
    17. 17. Christ’s Expectations: Faith’s Influence Endures<br />Proverbs 22:6<br /> “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”<br />I Corinthians 9:23-24<br /> “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; be we do it to get a crown that will last forever.”<br />
    18. 18. Real Life ApplicationHow do weactupon the challenge to influence ourfamilies?<br /><ul><li> Start Simple
    19. 19. Be REAL
    20. 20. Set a standard
    21. 21. Make service a part of yourfamily</li></li></ul><li>Real Life ApplicationStart Simple<br />Colossians 3:2<br /> “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”<br />Psalm 19:14<br /> “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”<br />
    22. 22. Real Life ApplicationBe REAL<br />CNN Article <br />More teens are becomingfakeChristians…<br />"If teenagers lack an articulate faith, it may be because the faith we show them is too spineless to merit much in the way of conversation." <br />
    23. 23. Real Life ApplicationSet a Standard<br />Colossians 4:5-6<br /> “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”<br />
    24. 24. Real Life ApplicationSet a Standard<br />Wayswehideour light…<br /><ul><li>Being quiet whenweshouldspeak
    25. 25. Allowing sin to dimour light
    26. 26. Not explainingour light to others</li></li></ul><li>Real Life ApplicationSet a Standard<br />Let your light shine…<br /><ul><li>Plan in advance to discuss Christ in conversation
    27. 27. Ask the Holy Spirit for words and the boldness to acceptopportunities
    28. 28. Staycalm in stressful situations
    29. 29. Askyourspouse for help and support</li></li></ul><li>Real Life ApplicationMake Service a Part of YourFamily<br />Opportunities to Serve…<br /><ul><li>Leading and Participation in Small Groups
    30. 30. HelpingFamilies in Need
    31. 31. Investing in extendedfamily
    32. 32. Building connections outside of yourfamily</li></li></ul><li>Real Life Application<br />Matthew 5:13-16<br /> “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”<br />
    33. 33. Small Group Discussion <br />Whois one person in yourfamilythatyouwouldlike to influence?<br />Whatfamilymembers have mostinfluencedyour life? How have youfelttheir influence?<br />Share an experiencewhenyouwere able to positively influence a familymember – whatwere the results?<br />What habits and/or traditions have you and your spouse created that demonstrate Christ in your daily life?<br />
    34. 34. Living Marriage Blog<br />Recaps of each event<br />Couples devotional<br />MP3 audio of messages<br />Access to other marriage resources<br />livingmarriage.wordpress.com<br />
    35. 35. Looking Ahead …<br />Having a Marriage of Influence<br />Week 2: Impacting Your Spouse<br />Guest Speakers<br />Shane & Andrea Fell<br />October 9, 2010<br />

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