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Realtionships dating sex love life all
Realtionships dating sex love life all
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  • 1. Cant seem to find a date? Here are proven ways by experts that make menmore attractive to the opposite sexIt takes more than just good looks to woo a woman, but having the looks of aGreek god doesnt hurt either. If you have been languishing at bars hoping for awoman to return your seductive glance, there must be something you are doingwrong. With science on your side, thankfully reconstructing your face is not theonly option. Here are five ways researchers have proven that will have womengoing gaga over you.Attitude mattersA woman can determine what kind of relationship you are looking for from yourattitude. If you smile a lot and are a warmer person during a date, women takethat as an indicator that you are looking for a long-term relationship. So if youare dating a woman for the long haul, be nice. The contrary is true too.A study showed women photographs of men who seemed disinterested anddistracted during a date. The men who look like they dont care were picked bythose who were looking for a fling. So if you are looking for a great night outwith a woman, just be sure to be a little moody.Smell nice, but just rightNow everyone knows that a woman loves a man who smells good. But studiessay that you should not overdo it. The study in question has found that womensubconsciously determine whether a man is genetically compatible with herthrough her sense of smell. So, in order to ensnare a woman who you think isattractive, you should wear a light cologne so that your natural odour can comethrough. That does not translate into not taking bath before a date.Get some definition to your jawNot everyone is born with a Brad Pitt jaw line. Thank god for facial hair.Researchers have found that women who are in the most fertile phase of theircycle prefer men with chiseled jaw lines. Men with weak chins can use facialhair to give your face more definition.V for victoryMost men know of the 0.7 waist to hip ratio that is supposed to set menstoungues wagging. Research has shown that women too have a number on theirmind. Studies have shown that the women love Vshaped bodies on men, andthe ideal waist-to-hip ratio is between 0.9 to 1. Now, to achieve this in thelong run, you need to hit the gym. But if you are too lazy, or work takes up toomuch of your time, try using your clothes to do the same. The easiest way to
  • 2. make is to fake it. So, dont buy suits off the shelf, get them tailored to givethe impression that you have broader shoulders. To slim your torso, try v-necktops.Its all in the symmetryStudies say that women dont really care if a man has facial hair or not, as longas you stick to your look. Like with everything else, this too points a primevalunderstanding of the opposite sex. A man who is symmetrical looking, isconsidered to be a healthier mate. Play around with your facial hair, but keepthings even. If you are going for a clean shaven look, be sure not to keeppatches of hair on your face, or if you have a goatee, shave off the surroundinghair. The point is to balance both the halves of your face. For the moreadventurous, try tweezing your eyebrows. It will hurt, but science says itsworth the pain.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------If youve been waiting for your man to pop up ‗Will you marry me?‘ or insisting he buys that rock solidsolitaire, its time you rethink your game plan. Follow our practical tips to get your guy down onbended knees...1. Dont talk about weddingsDont make it obvious that you are dying to be proposed to as chances are that your guy will run a mile.So, every time you pass a wedding procession pretend to be irritated. If theres a wedding scene in afilm you both are watching, yawn and if you go to a wedding together, complain about the length ofthe ceremony and the poor quality of food. At home, keep saying, "I just hope youll never make me dothat."2. Feel bad for engaged and married pairsWhen you meet up with your oldest pal whos got everything according to you - the house, the man andthe kids -pretend that you guys are better off than them. On your way home, keep telling your manhow you thought that they looked miserable and bored. Even if know you are lying to yourself - justkeep telling your guy that you both are far happier than them. Hes bound to be surprised.3. Holiday with your girlfriendsDitch your man and head to an exotic destination with your gal pals. Save up and take that dreamholiday youve been vying for a long time. Now, even if you do spend every night in a ram shackledresort talking about how much you miss your love, he wont know that. Let him go green with envythinking youre in indulgence heaven, getting hot and heavy with other eligible men.4. Keep your parents awayDont suggest he spend his Diwali holiday with your family. Let him enquire why he wasnt invited, thentell him, "Why trouble yourself honey!" This is likely to make him feel left out, but at the same time itwill make him wonder. Once he feels these two emotions about you, hell have no choice but to pin youdown and beg you to be his eternal flame.5. Resist the temptation to move in with your guyYoure dying to stay over after that night of wild sex and never leave his cozy sex pad. Youve evenmade place in his medicine chest in the loo for your belongings, but woman remember moving in minusthat commitment is just giving it too easy to your man. Hes likely to never ask for your hand, coz hesenjoying all the perks of marriage, minus the responsibilities. So, keep that distance and keep himwanting more when you kiss him goodnight at the door.
  • 3. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------If hitting all the so-called single spots isn’t helping you find your dream match, rethink your routinewith some out-of-the-box guy-meeting tactics.1. Find your friends’ friends : Combine your love of online shopping with the best way to meeteligible men —through friends, recommends Rachel Greenwald, author of Why He Didnt Call YouBack:1,000 Guys Reveal What They REALLY Thought About You After Your Date. Scroll through yourfriends‘ friends on social networking sites like Twitter or Facebook and play a game Greenwald calls, ―ISpy a Cute Guy.‖ Find someone intriguing who‘s also single (check with your mutual friend if his profileis private)? Ask to be introduced. ―Because Facebook isn‘t an official online dating site, the pressure isoff,‖ she says. ―You can get to know each other first as friends and go from there.‖2. Brush up on current affairs : It‘s a good idea to make info-gathering an everyday part of your life—and not to impress guys (even though it‘s a fact that they like smart, well informed babes), but foryour own IQ and confidence. Make news channels like Times Now, CNN or BBC your Internet homepage, subscribe to political and news magazine that gives you each week‘s news stories. You‘ll be ableto strike up a conversation in no time.3. Twitter for love : Everyone seems to have been bitten by the Twitter bug. Now use Twitter formore than getting the lowdown of your friends‘ lives. Send a tweet on Friday afternoon that you‘remeeting friends at your favorite watering hole for an impromptu happy hour. Tell your followers tobring their friends. You‘re bound to meet new people, and even if they‘re not single, they might knowsomeone to fix you up with later.‖4. Go Solo : It can feel odd to watch a movie by yourself or sit solo at a coffee shop, but many happilyattached women know that spending some time by yourself is a surefire way to meet someone great,says Karrine Steffans, author of The Vixen Manual. So chill at a Barista with your laptop and a latte,take your dog for a long walk or treat yourself to lunch at an outdoor café—solo!5. Say Yes More Often : It can be tempting to cancel on a party invite if you‘re feeling pooped or dyingto catch the new episode of your favourite show, but accepting an invite or two each month that you‘dotherwise turn down can give your love life a life, says Brenda Della Casa, author of Cinderella Was Aliar: The Real Reason You Cannot Find (Or Keep) A Prince. Asked out by a guy who doesn‘t fit yourdream definition? Just say yes!6. Recycle the single guys you know : Everyone knows interesting guys who aren‘t right for them(think your single best male pal, coworker or a former date who‘s now just a friend) but who might beright for someone else. Go ahead and guy-cycle. Organise a low-key get-together and recycle thosegreat-but-not-for-you guys by inviting single women to the party. Set a one-single-guy minimum,encouraging female guests to bring at least one guy they‘d recommend to other girls. Then watch thesparks fly!7. Get sweaty!: Local sports clubs let you get in shape by playing softball, swimming, karate, tennis orany other sport you enjoy, and they‘re full of athletic, fun-loving guys.8. Learn how his stomach thinks : The best place to meet guys is at a busy restaurant at lunch. Sohead out more often for that lunch break at a popular eatery as there is always a line of cute guysaround the corner. Apart from a heart meal, men feel these are perfect places to strike up aconversation.9. Make more female friends : The next time you walk into a party, don‘t scan the room for handsomemen only, but rather seek out the most social, outgoing woman you can find. Get to know her and
  • 4. invite her for coffee. Chances are, if you were drawn to her, she‘ll have a lot of other friends—including male ones—who were drawn to the same qualities as you.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We share with you 10 ways to get romantic, despite the monsoon...Time for some musicBollywood movies and filmi songs come to your aid. Be it a sensuous song or a fun number, there‘s asong for every situation. Pull out that CD of romantic rain songs and listen to some good musictogether.Have a photo shootIf you can‘t get out of the house and listening to music isn‘t your cup of tea, you can definitely pull outyour digi-cam and try out a photo session with your partner. Whether to make it a naughty or flirtysession... well, that‘s up to you. So get clicking.Go bowlingIt may not seem like the most romantic thing to do, but for those couples who are really sporty, thiscould be an ideal way to spend some quality time together.Have a movie marathonThere‘s nothing more romantic than snuggling under a blanket and watching some nice romcoms on arainy day. Bring out the romance with the help of Bollywood or Hollywood classics. You and yourpartner can take turns and pick the movies you want to see.Cook a romantic dinnerIf you aren‘t confident about your cooking abilities, then ordering something from a good restaurantcan be an option too. But if you want to watch your purse, then whipping up a meal of your partner‘schoice can be a good option. Light some candles to get the romance going.Snuggle timeIf you are just not in the mood to watch a movie or read a book or get out of your home, then theperfect thing to do would be to spend your day in bed with your partner. It‘s not only extremelyromantic, but also cost effective. What better way to spice up a rainy day, right?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------s your marriage on the rocks? Well, heres how you can save it.Alisa Bowman, in her new book, Project: Happily Ever After, offers advice and tips toother miserably-married couples who may be finding themselves at the point of noreturn, reports FoxNews .1. Look in the mirror. I initially thought that my husband was 100 per cent to blame forour marriage problems. It wasnt until I took a good, hard, humbling look in the mirrorthat I was able to see that our problems originated with me. Id failed time and timeagain to tell him what I wanted, what I was thinking, how I felt, and how his actions (orinactions) affected me. Once I started speaking up for myself, our marriage improved.2. Drop the idea of fairness in favour of the idea of happiness. What it takes to improvea marriage isnt always fair. You might have to be the big person most of the time. You
  • 5. might have to make the first (or 100th) move to warm up your marriage, be moreaffectionate, or keep things civil.3. Become a problem solver, not just voice it. Shift from complaining about whatswrong to doing something about it. Marital problems are no different from any other lifeproblem. Attack them with an open mind.4. Stop stockpiling old grievances. Fight about current issues. Forgive the old ones. Manypeople use the words "I cant" when talking about forgiveness, as in, "I cant bring myselfto do it." But you probably can. Forgiveness is a decision. When you feel like you cantforgive, its because you are holding onto the old hurt as if it were a precious jewel, andyou are afraid to let it go.5. Be adventurous in the bedroom. Most of us have learned how to have sex somewhataccidentally. As a result, we end up relying on a small number of techniques that we useover and over again. This, however, leads to sexual burnout. Pretend you are 16 againand that you know nothing about how to please a man or a woman. Learn everything youcan, and ask your partner to do the same. See if there are new positions you might wantto try.6. Focus on before play, not on anti-play. Think of before play as everything that getsyou warmed up about your spouse. It includes compliments, thank yous, favours, hugs,physical intimacy, skin on skin contact, listening, and support. Think of Anti-Play aseverything that turns you off: sarcasm, henpecking, ignoring, putting things off, slackingwhile you are hard at work, criticism, and more. The more your practice before play andthe less you practice anti-play, the happier your marriage will become.7. Communicate assertively, without blame. Dont brace for a fight. Just ask for whatyou need, and do it in as few sentences as possible. Do it as warmly as possible, too.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1. Talk, and listenMake sure to share your thoughts with each other, daily, if possible, and to take interest in each otherslives. Make sure to check in with your spouse to ensure that theyre truly hearing what youre saying --and that youre receiving and understanding right back. "This is a responsibility that both people2. Kiss goodbye and hello"Hugs, kisses, quick squeezes, even holding one anothers gaze are ways in which the couple can affirmtheir connection and commitment to one another,". Pausing for a hug and a kiss before you leave forwork in the morning may seem like a small thing, but the warm glow it gives you is something to lookback on all day.3. Do fun activities togetherFind a shared outside activity: Ballroom dancing, jogging, foreign films and gardening are someexamples. They can help you both keep learning about each other. "While these hobbies can seemfrivolous, they can actually serve to remind the couple of what they have in common and encouragethem to relate to one another as a real people."4. Have independent livesDont live life glued together. Make sure to have your own hobbies, interests and friends on top of yourshared activities; youll maintain a sense of your own individual identity and have lots to talk aboutwith your partner to boot. "Before we ever knew our spouse existed on the planet, we had dreams,
  • 6. ambitions and interests that probably contributed to us making that love connection." Both partnerscontinue to pursue at least one independent hobby or activity in order to nourish both themselves andtheir relationship.5. Plan aheadFrom parenting philosophies to thoughts on money to prioritizing goals and dreams, marriage meansmaking plans together -- and the earlier, the better. Financial planning, for instance, "can often be adeal-breaker in a marriage." Dont assume that your partner knows how you feel about important issues-- sit down and discuss them before they have the chance to become a problem.6. Fight with a purposeHandling conflict constructively is key. A three-point plan for making sure fights have a positiveoutcome. First, acknowledge that every couple faces arguments, and that theyre "not an indicationthat the relationship is doomed." Second, "each person should examine their own contribution to theconflict and be prepared to own up to it." Finally, both partners have to be able to spell out what upsetthem and how they would like the problem to be resolved. "By having this level of clarity, the couple isthen in a position to talk about what happened in a focused way."7. Make time for intimacy"Sex is really the culmination of all of the little things that are done throughout the day," a reminder ofhow much you enjoy your spouse." So, the more, the better, right? Well, its not so simple. What isimportant is that you are meeting each others needs for intimacy -- which means they need to bearticulated, as well (see 1, above). And intimacy doesnt necessarily mean sex, per se. "The broader thecouples physical repertoire, the better," This means that everything from kisses to cuddles to sharedglances is game.8. Focus on the positiveSometimes, all it takes to brighten someones mood is an honest compliment from someone he or sheloves. One consequence of being part of a deeply committed relationship is trusting your partnersopinion, whether its a compliment or a put-down. Dont take this power for granted. So if you thinkyour partner looks cute in her new dress, say so -- and if youre not crazy about the shoes, keep yourmouth shut. Its all about the greater good, after all.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Think having sex with your partner would improve you married life? Well, you maywant to reconsider that idea after reading this.Rosie, who tried indulging in sex for a complete month, every day, found herselfunhappy for the first time in eight-year relationship, reports the Daily Mail .Being a journalist, she experimented to have sex every day for a month and keep adaily diary of the results.She heard of people claiming that having sex every day brings a couple closer, inducesnew levels of intimacy and rejuvenates sex lives. But it rather had an adverse effectas it ultimately destroyed her relationship.In the course of having sex for 30-days, just three days in, it became obvious it wasgoing to be more challenging than she imagined.By day four, desire had been usurped by boredom. Actually we flunked it. On the fifthday we managed a desultory fumble and it was only a change of scene on day six thatrevived us.
  • 7. We happened to be staying at my parents house. Decorum dictates that you do notindulge in frenzied sex when your mum and dad are in the next room. But we had sexsimply because it felt a bit naughty.At the end of the week, however, we were flagging again. Wed been to a friendswedding and were staying in a Travelodge. Frankly, the unalluring surroundings wouldhave quenched even the tiniest spark of desire. Once again we failed.By day eight the tension was building. Going to bed each night was no longer arelaxing experience, but something to be dreaded because they both knew what wasexpected of them.With time, sex became mechanical, passionless and irksome.And when the 30 days ended-having replaced several required steamy encounters withnights sitting side-by-side in bed, simmering with resentment-their argumentscontinued.Sex, once a shared joy, had become about as appealing as squeezing lemon juice intoa finger cut. And now we werent compelled to do it for the experiment, it wasnteven happening spontaneously.In short, the compulsion had killed intimacy stone dead. Now that there was nophysical closeness to patch over the cracks when we had a row, the fractures in ourrelationship grew into a chasm."Youve always known I want children. And weve both conceded we had such a goodrelationship it would be hard to end it because you dont. But as weve been arguing somuch lately, now seems the right time to split up," her partner said.The silly but well-intentioned experiment designed to bring them closer had actuallydriven the couple apart.She said that it seems the most important thing is to have enough sex to make youand your partner happy, not an arbitrary amount dictated by scientific experiments.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Match, set, go... easier said than done. Here we list tips on ways to understand your partner betterThey say marriages are made in heaven. But then, there are also those made here on earth. Though anarranged marriage may feel like a pre-historic concept, such matches are still prevalent in society.Whether you marry someone youve fallen in love with, or someone your parents have chosen, as acouple you are bound to go through some ups and downs. Its just that if its an arranged marriage, itmay take you a tad longer to understand the thought process of your partner. If you are about to enterinto an arranged marriage, here are some pointers you need to keep in mind:Pre-marital jitters
  • 8. Pre-marital jitters are very common among couples who opt for an arranged marriage. And if youreexperiencing them, ask yourself what is causing the anxiety. Among the most prominent reasons is thefear of sharing space and adjusting to a relatively unknown partner. Then, of course, is the fear of howto deal with a new family; how much youd have to change your behaviour to adapt to their thoughtsand habits.The best way to overcome this problem is by interacting frequently with your partner. It will put you atease with your partner and also improve the intimacy between the two of you.Never complainAn arranged marriage means more responsibilities and expectations. Both partners are under pressureto make the marriage work. Your partner may not share all your likes and dislikes and his/her familymay not follow the same values as yours. You may be constantly corrected about the way things aredone in this house. Relax!Adjustment is the name of the game. Have a frank talk with your partner, list out your anxieties andfigure out a way to do things without antagonising your new family. In the initial days of your marriage,dont take rude remarks or the seemingly harsh moves of your partner too seriously. Also, dont adoptthe tit for tat philosophy. Stay away from troublemakers and look for allies. Also, dont complain orsound whiny to your partner. Remember, he/she is just as confused and nervous as you are.The magic of loveLove is that essential ingredient that can help both of you overcome hurdles. If love at first sight hasnthappened, dont worry. It may take time, but you will grow to love each other. Even if youre in lovealready, dont expect your partner to immediately reciprocate the feelings. Give him/her time andwork on how you can earn his/her love. Be patient and dont get frustrated every time your partnersays or does something wrong.Remember, marriage is like a whirlpool which takes one from a carefree world to a world filled withcommitment and sacrifice; a world with love as its backbone.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This arranged match is now a love affair for a lifetimeWhenever a female acquaintance sees my husband doting on me, she invariably says, "Aww...lovemarriage?" When I reply in the negative, the next question usually is "Love-arranged?" I then offer,"arranged-cum-love," proud to have coined a new term in relationship studies.My husband proposed to me over the third "date" set up by our families. I had successfully managed tomaintain the mystery about myself with my short and sweet answers, which he labelled "goodheartedness" (honestly, I was just not as eloquent as the "big fan of communication" that he is). I feltas if I had known him for a lifetime and was ready for six more. At that time, I thought I was saying "Ido" to a quirky US-returned guy who loved eating Thai food, visiting museums, and skiing. Being thesmall town girl that I am, I liked Indian-Chinese, felt drowsy in museums and preferred siesta oversport (I wasnt exactly sure what skiing was). "Im okay if youre okay," I said, accepting his dealromantically.I dont know why I said yes, though. Maybe because he made my favourite part of the fairytale - ofsomebody going down on one knee with a ring - come true for me. Or maybe because, with him, I feltcomfortable the very first time we met. So after his proposal and my acceptance began our not-so-comfortable courtship. I had to "report" to him every night on the phone what I did during the day. Atfirst, I went blank on encountering the question I had never been subject to before and had seldomthought about: What did you do today? Well, I ate and slept and watched TV. But of course I wasntgoing to tell him that.
  • 9. Now I think I was probably attracted to him because he was so much the opposite of everything I wasthat we had to be together. Im extremely impatient, while he talks and listens carefully, savours foodand feels gratitude. While I am always anxious about the future, he relishes the present like no othertense exists. I am supersensitive and nothing and nobody can ruffle him. While I like to flaunt mygreatness for no reason at all, he likes to "live in the shadows" (like the proverbial source who wisheshis identity be kept undisclosed). I need everything to go right in order to be happy and he feels hedoesnt have any reason to be unhappy (He has me, after all).Sometimes his many positives get on my nerves. Why does he have to be rational all the time? Whycant he take what I say at face value without doing a cost-benefit analysis? Why doesnt he pamper me?Why does he want me to become independent? Why is he so righteous that he cannot fight impulsivelyfor me like Ghataks Sunny Deol or swear like Sholays Dharmendra? Why does he never show hispossessiveness for me? Thankfully, knowing that he loves me above everything and everybody makesthese trifles hardly worth bothering about.Many things have changed over the last two years since we met, but some havent. I still aminexpressive but he somehow comes to know whats on my mind. Even now, when the doorbell rings inthe evening, I struggle to make a mental note of what Im going to say when he asks me what I didduring the day. I have realised, though, that whatever I do (and that includes doing nothing) doesntmatter to him as long as I am happy. I have come to love Pad Thai, I dont mind going to museums withmy husband sporadically (with the exchange offer that he will take me to watch a romantic comedy thenext day). And after trying skiing on bunny slopes last winter, I have told him to take me skiing toColorado next. What has changed in him? Well, he now goes to Hindi movies with me (and almostalways cries during the emotional scenes). And he wears jeans with a flashy yellow jacket just becauseI like it.On our "proposal" anniversary, he surprised me with a day trip to a palace hotel in Rajasthan. It wasperfect - there was a swimming pool attached to our room, we pretended to be royalty, he gifted meSwarovski earrings and after a seven-course dinner we had delicious chocolate cake. With that day asthe benchmark, I was looking forward to our wedding anniversary, wondering how he would outdo hisown surprise. We sat by the Charles river (weve been in the US for some time now) and munchedpizza. When I dramatically asked my year-old husband why the "proposal anniversary" enjoyedsuperiority over the actual wedding anniversary, he gently said, "Because I married you in my mind onthat day, darling." I guess it was a love marriage then.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Between covers, isnt that where love is supposed to lie? Shouldnt all love — or the making thereof —get your knickers in a twist? So why the fuss, the surprise, the tamasha and the brouhaha overforbidden love and those who forbid it? Love actually must be more chhupa chhupi than khullamkhulla, and whats the fun of pyaar without the protest?For decades, true love had to contend only with crass commerce every Valentines Day. The makers ofcards, candles and heart-shaped everything in yucky shades of pink. The sellers of wine and roses. Themerchants of diamonds which were supposed to be forever but which strangely had to besupplemented every year, or oftener.We had prided ourselves on being the originators of the book of love. Now we have to ask ourselves thequestion: What came first, the Kama Sutra or the VHP? Or the Shiv Sena, MNS, Ram Sene and everyother self-appointed, self-righteous custodian of our morals, our culture, our entertainment and ourwardrobes.So forget the old adage about forbidden fruit tasting sweetest. You wont get much chance to find out.For, barely after you have savoured the first nibble, you might find yourself in the police station
  • 10. and/or the casualty ward. In fact, love has lost its premier position in the forbidden league. It findsitself with all manner of bedfellows as our professional protestors keep extending their eclectic rangeof targets. The canoodler is now in the company of the filmmaker or the beer drinker. Anything is gristto the milling goons.The point to be made is that when you let the hate brigade decide on matters of love, it doesnt stop atcouples. It becomes open season on anything that offends anyone. Everything is pushed into theforbidden pit. Push is already becoming shove. The magic of the movies has turned into a witchescauldron. Cuddling lovers have to be burnt at the stake. Gays are evil incarnate. Who knows, next theymay even convert the missionary position into an act of the Devil.And yet, heres the irony. Everything is forbidden exists in an urban environment which also subscribesto the culture of anything goes. Just do it is as much a part of our social lexicon as Dont you dare.Globalised India is cocooned in a surround-sound of liberalism. The Net, iPods, cellphones, hoardings,television, print, all media exhorts you to smile and bare it. It seductively persuades you to let go,come what may.The young are experimenting like never before and at an age when even their older siblings were babesin the woods instead of being a tangle in the thickets. Family equations have changed with parentsdesperately wanting to be cool instead of getting hot under the collar over their childrens hormonaladventurism. In this no-holds barred scenario, nothing is non-kosher. Fore-bidden has replacedforbidden. And it isnt happening only in some sliver-thin upper class pickled in Western decadence. Goto any public park. You wont have to look hard. Its so brazenly in-your- face that all but theunabashed voyeur would squirm.However, events of the past few years have forced us to believe that its not only Cupid who sharpenshis arrows in preparation for February 14. He has serious competition from an entire army of smashers,bashers and other crashers of parties. So each year, after the lust and the bloodlust, when the hurly-burlys done, when the battles fought and won, we are left wondering, Whose V-Day was it this time?That of the lovers or that of those who hate love?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We fully agree with age-old adage that competition between lovers makes a relationship sour, but whatif the competition is packed in some utterly romantic love games?Well, in such a case, these love games will strengthen your love ties by bringing you closer to yourmate thus taking both partners to newer heights of interactivity and intimacy. In short, lovecompetition adds the much needed spice to your relationship.Sometimes it takes something as simple as being playful to ward off the monotony surrounding our lovelife and to get you both back into the mood for romance and passion. So, get into the act folks as itsplaytime and remember theres nothing like a sexy romantic game to sizzle up the action between thesheets. Theres no time like the present moment so go ahead and get acquainted with these fun-filledlove games that seek to unleash the playboy in your man and the sex siren in you. You dont have to bea newly-wed to play these love games. These games are the best remedy when you feel the sparkfizzling out of your love shack. Just gear up for some love action coz as the saying goes - couples thatplay together, stay together!
  • 11. 1. Hide and SeekBefore you chuck this idea out as a stale game, let us tell you that its a uncovered hide and seekmatch that we are proposing! So, make sure your blinds are down before you both decide to do theFull Monty or peeping Toms in your neighbourhood may just end up having a field day.Rules: When the game is intensely naughty, the rules have to be sexier to keep up the tempo. Howabout something like: "If he finds you, he wins 10 minutes of extreme pleasure." And in case he fails,hell be your love slave for the day and vice versa. Exploit his weakness to the fullest!Add the sizzle: Rather than being stark without clothes, wear just one piece of clothing that simplyturns your partner on. How about a garter belt or those killer stilettoes? Men, how about those sexythongs or how about flaunting that tattoo near your navel. Finding you wearing just what he/shedreams of will add to the victory match!2. Bursting balloonsWho said only kids play with balloons? Even adults do! By the end of this balloon game, resisting eachother will be simply impossible. Blow up ten (or more) round party balloons. Place them between youand your lover while lying in bed together. Now, both of you start to hug, squeeze and kiss each other,while squashing the balloons in between your bodies resulting in them going pop! The bet is to break asmany of them as possible.Rules: You cant break the balloons alone by riding on them, but strictly by squashing them betweenyour hot bods.Add the sizzle: Pep up the thrill of breaking the balloons by putting sweet little love notes into some ofthem. The balloons are a lot harder to pop this way than you might imagine.Image Courtesy: Getty ImagesRe: Top 10 love-games by Rahul » 08 Jan 2010 01:563. Basketball strip gamePlaying basket ball with your partner is a good idea to induce some physical exercise. All you need todo is set up a basketball hoop in your home and start shooting hoops. Doesnt sound interesting enough?Why not make it titillating by adding a sensuous reward for every shot you get through?So, every time he scores, you have to strip a piece of clothing you have on and if you get through, hestrips and so on. This acts as an exciting twist in your normal basketball routine and is surely going toset the temperature soaring with sweaty passion. Before you know it, waiting for that last winning shotwill be actually interesting!
  • 12. Rules: Abandon the usual tracks or shorts and dress formally from head to toe. More the number ofclothes...more is the sexual excitement as you view your partner stripping off every last piece ofclothing to keep up with your sex drive!Add the sizzle: The winner gets it all as the losing partner has to do anything and everything thewinner demands. The more creative you are, the more fun the exercise promises to be!4. Sniff the kiss zoneIn this game you need five diverse fragrances sprayed on five different spots of your body. Now, letyour partner employ his senses to detect those sweet smelling spots and leave his love mark there!Reward? Hmm...whats better than a sweet smelling kiss or a long lasting hickey?Rules: The hunter is strictly supposed to do a nose job with no skin touches until he/she locates thesweet smelling spot and once its done; the other partner simply has to surrender.Add the sizzle: Get experimental! Instead of regular flowery smells...go for heady fragrances to driveyour mate to new heights. The effect will not just be magical, but lasting as well.5. Nooky numbersThis will only make initial play even more intense. All you both need is a deck of cards here. Shuffleand place them face-down between you and your partner. Now, take turns to pick out cards from thepile. Follow the rules below and keep playing till you can resist taking the big plunge.Rules: If you draw a number card, you get to kiss that many spots on your partners body.You drew a King/Queen? You win a 15-minute, sensual body massage.If a Jack is drawn, simultaneously pleasure each other for ten minutes in all your favourite love spots.Aces are considered wild card entry here! If you are lucky to draw one, it grants you one of your carnaldesires.Add the sizzle: Surprise your partner with a yummy smooch in his/her desired body part if you lovedthe massage. You never know...you may end up hitting the jackpot!TopRe: Top 10 love-games by Rahul » 08 Jan 2010 01:576. Blind Berry HuntingIn this love hunt, one partner blindfolds the other. Whoever is not blindfolded hides small quantities ofberries (raspberries, blueberries, etc) all over their body and the other has to hunt them out. Thereward is that the hunter wins wishes equaling the number of berries he has located.Rules: The hunter is not allowed to use hands, only mouth-work here. And the other partner has togrant the hunters most exciting wishes.Add the sizzle: Dont let the excitement finish at just discovering the berries. Hand feed them to your
  • 13. beau on the very body part you located them. Tickling caused by your eating coupled with the magic ofberry-juice dripping while you eat will turn-on your partner leaving him/her craving for more action!7. Love PictionaryYou must have played Pictionary as a child. We are just making it love pictionary for the adults. In thisgame, one of you makes a sketch of the surprise you want to have at night from your partner.Forinstance, draw a beach, sand, sun and sea if you want to get dirty on the beach this weekend! And ifyour partner guesses your clue right...you dont have to ask for another reward! He too wins a chanceto etch out his wildest fantasies! A win-win situation for both!Rules: Whosoever is drawing should not speak and the guessing mate cant deny actually performingwhats been drawn. What if he fails to guess? He doesnt get a chance to draw what he wants till hemakes the right guess.Add the sizzle: The drawer can be as suggestive as he/she can while drawing out the clues. After all,you want your partner to guess right!8. Ultimate patience testAs the name suggests, in this game both the partners take chances to test each others patience. Oneof them is active, while the other is a passive partner. The passive partner has to lie still, while theactive partner takes charge to do just about everything pleasurable to the other. Being active, yourmotto is to elicit a response from the other, while the latter has to strive to control so as to enjoymaximum gratification.Rules: It is only when the passive partner reacts (moans or moves) that the doer wins his pleasure trip.Add the sizzle: The active partner is allowed to touch all levels of teaching and touching to excite thepassive partner. The best part about this game are the discoveries you make about your partner -sensitive areas on his/her body, most erogenous zones, favourite pleasurable techniques, sensualresponses, the list is endless. Every game will make you more adroit to excel in the second round.TopRe: Top 10 love-games by Rahul » 08 Jan 2010 01:589. Catch an alphabet!You must have played it in your schooldays. It was something like this - one person started with a citystarting with A as the other called out a citys name starting with the alphabet on which the first cityended. Replace the cities with parts of each others bodies now! Let him start with a body part startingwith A and then you take it forward. The tease here is that each one has to kiss the body part beingcalled out. If theres no body part corresponding to an alphabet, just get creative and name it yourselfto keep the passion soaring sky high.
  • 14. Rules: You cant skip your turn. Whosoever fails to find a body part loses the golden chance to kiss. Asthey say one persons loss is anothers gain - the other partner takes over his chance to get naughty witha particular part of your body. So try and win!Add the sizzle: Dont just limit yourself to kissing your lovers body part!10. Role playingAll of us cherish certain wild fantasies relating to certain professions and professionals. Some lovegetting spanked by a head mistress, while others just love watching a doctor taking over. If even youhave one such naughty fantasy...get into some serious role playing! Dress up the way your partnerwants and play act a naughty role just for him/her. How about a wicked schoolgirl getting spanked by astrict teacher or a sexy librarian and student or for that matter a hot detective and his suspect? Thepossibilities are wild...Rules: While play-acting, forget your real self. You can only use the props and places suiting the role.For instance, a teachers spanking stick or a doctors stethoscope checking out never explored places inyour body will create quite a ripple.Add the sizzle: Ask your partner what all he fantasies doing with/doing to his favourite character andhelp him achieve the perfect part.Try these love games, and youll be surprised to watch your relationship grow all the more exciting andhealthy!Tips & Warnings1. Dont shy away from trying these games. If one isnt good for you, another must be. So, explore...2. Let your imaginative juices flow while playing these games to get the desired results.3. Make sure you know your partners preferences before you trigger off any love game. Everybody isnot equally sporting=---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Best selling American author and columnist Sherry Argov tells you why you need to shed the good girltag to win the love matchSugar and spice isnt always nice. A dash of hot n sour is what turns a bland dish into a gastronomicdelight. Likewise, in the dating game, just being nice to your man doesnt make him more devoted; attimes you need to be the bitch to walk down the Valentine path.That, in a nutshell, is best-selling author and columnist Sherry Argovs premise of her seminal booksWhy Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches . "Men secretly respect a woman who is strong, hasconfidence and dreams of her own," says Sherry. "They dont want women who are needy and desperate
  • 15. for approval."So the key to conduct new-age relationships is: discover the feisty attitude "that will turn you into adiva from a doormat," says Sherry.Why nice girls finish lastEver wondered why despite putting your best face and foot forward, and treating your dreamboat likea dream, he seems to go for someone smarter, sassier and sexier — aka The bitch? Its possiblybecause: »You are making it too obvious that you are looking to find a man and your happiness isdependent on that. »You are unable to be alone.»You dont want to wait for the right person. Your impatience leads you to rush into a situation youwouldnt have chosen otherwise.Do men like strong women?The general consensus is that men get intimidated by strong, opinionated women who pose achallenge. But the truth is that any extreme is a turnoff. Whether you are the super aggressive sort orthe dreamy, shy type, extreme behaviour signals insecurity. On the contrary, there is nothing moreattractive than a woman who has dignity and pride in who she is. So to woo the love of your life, besomeone he desires. And he cant desire something that is too easily available. It doesnt mean youhave to be unnecessarily aggressive or too stand-offish. It simply means you must be in control andkeep him guessing. Besides, never forget the golden rule of relationships: You dont marry a perfectperson. You marry an interesting person. And Sherry gives you the guide to be exactly that.The bitches dont...» Call or text him frequently» Ask where he is or what hes doing »Say You dont call me enough, or, You never tell me you loveme. Unpredictability is your asset. Dont let your loved one decode you easily» See a guy every night of the week. A woman who is easy wont scratch his competitive itch »Agreewith everything he says. When you never express your opinion, a man starts feeling bored» Go looking for him or chase him down at three different places where he said he might be having adrink. To be his steady, let him come track you down» Get mad when he doesnt call you in four days» Rearrange your schedule to spend time with him» Be rude because being considerate is more effective. But doesnt mean you have to compromiseyourselfThe bitches DOs
  • 16. Walk the tightrope......between being intimidating and independent by being feminine, yet quietly strong. When you donttelegraph or make obvious what your strengths and weakness are, your partner wont be able to readyou. And when a man cant read a woman fully, he respects her more. Its not about demeanour, itsabout self-control. A woman with self-control has power and men are turned on by that.Eliminate the third angleWorried about finishing second best in the love race? Well, first ensure you are the one he is amorousabout. If he meets you and is crazy for you, other women should be a non-issue. If you are number 2for any length of time, it means there are "too many queens in the castle." Then, just walk out. Calmlytell him the relationship is "no longer interesting" and wish him luck. This resonates self-worth anddignity, and will blow him away. Often, this will get him to play straight and prioritise you. If not, itsno loss. A man with a third wheel is never worth pursuing.Be happy and positiveValue yourself and your peace of mind. Do not chase happiness outside yourself. Most importantly, trynot to give energy to what others think of you; it takes away your power. If you feel good inside, othersno longer can control you emotionally. This kind of calm and self-sufficiency is very attractive. Men areused to women who wear their heart on their sleeve and go crazy for the one they cant control.Pursue your own dreamsFocus on interests outside the relationship. He can know you care, but doesnt need to know how much.Men dont want to compete with other men for your attention, they want to compete for your timebecause you arent waiting for him 24x7. When he cant control you mentally, or remain invested inyour own life, you become much more interesting to share life with.(Sherry Argov is the author of Why Men Love Bitchesand Why Men Marry Bitches. Her work has beenfeatured in leading magazines and her books are published in 30 languages)-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------There are certain qualities in men that women absolutely dig.It‘s not just about being tall, dark and handsome. There are certain ‗manly‘ qualities about guys thatcan make any woman go weak in her knees. And while you may think it‘s all about the looks, guesswhat? There‘s more. It‘s a potent mix of both, physical attributes and of course, that all importantemotional touch. Here, we tell you about six points you need to heed.Well groomed
  • 17. Yes, we said tall but the reality is that height is really not as important a factor as how you presentyourself. Just like guys like a women who is well turned out, women too dig guys who ensure that theyare perfectly groomed a la Leonardo DiCaprio. The basic funda women believe in is that if you arecareful enough to take care of yourself, they can trust you to take care of them. So, remember guys,sloppy dressing, uncombed hair, dirty nails, smelly socks, stained shirts or jeans and the likes are anabsolute no-no when you are trying to make that all important impression on someone from theopposite sex.A sense of styleWomen would rather have you splurging on them than on obscenely priced designer wear. So, even ifit‘s a typical roadside purchase that you swear by, make sure you adopt a certain classy and stylisedlook and maintain it. Women don‘t really expect you to be a picture copy of a Pierce Brosnan or aDavid Beckham, but trying to imitate their style will surely up your popularity quotient. Keep yourselfupdated on the latest trends. Also, just as you have your reservations against the ‗nun-type‘ dressers,women too hesitate when it comes to the boring office type dresser.Laugh it outOne of the most important trait that woman dig is a sense of humour. Women have more than enoughproblems to deal with and don‘t really need the company of another equally depressed soul. Yes, youhave your bad days, but it does go a long way if you have a good sense of humour, and clean humour atthat. Beware, taking a dig at others and constantly putting others down do not really spell fun forwomen. And we can‘t tell you enough how much women love people who can laugh at themselves andtheir own mistakes.Show them you careWomen need to be constantly reassured that they are loved and cared for. Acts like holding their handwhile walking down the road, watching the sunset, an occasional hug and peck on the cheeks andmaking sure that they cross the road safely mean that you are proud to be seen with them and care forthem. Remember, not displaying your affection openly is a sign that you are ashamed of who you arewith. However, beware of being crass while displaying you affections.A sexy smile/winkThere‘s a reason why women absolutely adore Richard Gere or Hugh Jackman and it has a lot to dowith the way that they smile or that glint in their eyes. Believe us when we tell you that if you look atthem and smile like that, it does make them feel very special, like they are one in a million.Be calmWoman are known to be harrowed and frenzied. Yes, they do tend to get hyper very easily and that is
  • 18. the precise reason why you need to be the calming factor in their lives. It really doesn‘t help if you tooget stressed out or fly off the handle at any and every incident. Your sex appeal lies as much in yourlooks as it does in your attitude - women dig guys with a cool and peaceful attitude, the one who isable to calm them down and reassure them that all is well----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------Though I love our image of the perfect couple, but if I read between the lines, may be I amunsatisfied.Its been three years, but I am still desperately waiting for the day when my lady love will take thesexual lead and surprise me with her moves. Many times, I thought of discussing it with her, butdropped the idea as she may find it derogatory. Though we share a great chemistry, be it in or outsidethe bedroom, still I crave for the day when she would make the first move," confesses Samrat Tripathi,a 29-year-old Delhi-based media person.Samrat isnt the only one craving for his girl to initiate the action in bed. "Is it just me who wants sex?","Am I failing to satisfy her?", "Is my technique wrong?", "Does she wish for more pampering and initialplays?" are some of the thoughts that keep haunting men. This thought process keeps them so occupiedthat most of the time they fail to see some of the very obvious reasons for their problem.It takes no rocket science to understand your beloveds physical needs, you just need to be caring andsensitive to figure out whats stopping her from making the first move. Here are some of the mostcommon reasons holding her back...Will he respond?Many women with fragile ego find it difficult to kick start the action in the bedroom, as the fear ofrejection keeps hounding them.Aarti Rawat, a call centre executive says, "I am not afraid of telling my boyfriend what I need fromhim, but something holds me back initiating sex. Guys are so complicated and its difficult tounderstand their needs so I keep guessing whats on his mind. I can just give him subtle signals likerubbing my cheeks against his or a passionate kiss to reveal my innate desires, but most of the times hefails to understand my hidden passion within these moves. It obviously hurts me so, even if I want to,so I let him take the lead."Expert speak: Dr Himanshu Saxena, a relationship expert opines, "Men are more vocal about theirsexual desires than women, that is one of the reasons they end up initiating sex almost always.
  • 19. Everybody loves to be on the receiving end and may be she doesnt mind it. So, if you want to turn thetables, then practice some self-control. Maybe for a couple of days, seduce her the way you always do.Wear the smell that she loves, give her a soothing massage, a luscious kiss, after you realize that she isgetting turned on, gradually pull away. If you continue this for a few days, she might not be left withany option but to drag you to bed and take charge to sustain a night of pleasure."He might make fun of me!Some men are really critical when it comes to love-making and that is why their partners believe injust following the lead.Sunaina Verma, a corporate communication manager with a firm adds, "I was seeing this guy for nearlytwo years. Though I was deeply in love with him, but he I felt his love-making skills were veryamateurish. He was so focused on what he wanted that he usually used to forget my comfort levels.Therefore, to tell him what I wanted, I decided to take the lead one day. I had read that guys lovebeing kissed all over while making out, but the trick didnt work for me. After 15-20 minutes of my hardwork he said, dont treat me like candy, its no fun. It was humiliating for me."Expert speak: Dr Sameer Parekh, a noted psychiatrist says, "Everybody has their own comfort zonesand pleasure points. If you do not like your beloveds love-making techniques, rather than making funof her, tell her what makes you go week in the knees. Make love to her the way you want her to treatyou. Criticizing her will only hurt and will not help either of you. If you dont behave properly, shemight not ever dare to try anything new to please you."Baby it hurtsThe definition of enjoyment might be completely different for you and your wife.Nita Sahni, a homemaker informs, "I got married a couple of months back. It almost took us a month forme to get completely at ease with my hubby. As a result of my fear of physical proximity, I used towithdraw from my hubby. I noticed a great deal of disappointment in my hubby because of that. Idecided to keep silent about my discomfort and just go ahead with sex mechanically."Expert speak: "Encountering pain during sex is the most common problem that most of couples face,but finding a solution is necessary. Sometimes the reason can be just change in sexual behavior orinadequate inital play. But in some cases, you may have to seek medical help. Your partner might besuffering from a sexually transmitted disease. Therefore act responsibly and take note of whatsbothering your better half," tells Dr Saxena.
  • 20. Not tonight honey!How often do you hear this? But merely blaming your partner for never being in the mood is not fair.Sheela Oberoi, a school teacher says, "I am in my mid 30s, have a family to look after and a job thatconsumes nearly ten hours everyday. When I go back to my bedroom at 11 oclock in the night, I am leftwith no energy to do sex. May be my age has also affected my sex interest. Many times my hubbycomplains about it, but there is nothing I am able to do about my low sex interest."Expert speak: "If your partners interest in sex has dropped significantly, try to make make an effort tofind out what is it that is responsible for the same. If it is just stress and fatigue, then you should findout ways to relive the mental tension. Be it a surprise vacation, an encouraging massage or just anelongated conversation at a lavish dinner - try out diverse ways to take your lovers mind off the nittygritties of life. And never forget to experiment in bed," suggests Dr Parekh.She thinks its a tabooDo guys really think highly of girls who take the lead in sex? Many girls grow up with this question intheir mind.Sawati Arora, a bank employee says, "I am getting married in a few months, but I have no plans to takethe lead in bed with my future hubby. My friends have made me believe that if I do so, he may thinkthat I have had some past experience and may doubt my loyalty. According to the normal perception,guys are supposed to initiate things in bed and I plan to stick to the same."Expert speak: Dr Mittal says, "Most of new age women also have this fact imprinted in their mindsomewhere. So you should make all possible efforts to erase these doubts from her mind forever. On adate, try to talk to her about what turns her on and how eagerly you want her to make efforts topamper you in bed. She may take sometime to get okay with the idea, but if you try to make hercomfortable, soon she will express her desires in every possible way."Employing the subtle tricks of engaging her in sexual activities, patience and some sexperiment you arelikely to get what you have been vying for.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------A Hollywood hunk, ex-lovers, an adult film scene and even what to buy in a grocerystore-these are things that women think of while having sex.
  • 21. Some women have now revealed what really scores with them between the sheets.Single comedian Shazia Mirza, 34, said that some of her friends revealed that duringsex they are mentally writing a to-do list, remembering clothes they have to wash,what theyve got to buy at Tescos or those shoes they love in Selfridges.And some women even think of men they secretly fantasise of."A friend of mine, who really loves her husband, told me that during sex she cant helpthinking about all the men she secretly really desires, like Jeremy Beadle and JeremyPaxman," the Sun quoted her as saying."Ive been married twice and had many lovers and to be honest, with past lovers Ivebeen so bored in bed, Ive taken to compiling mental grocery lists and calculatingexactly how many shoes are in the wardrobe (82 pairs)," said author Kathy Lette, 51."Most wives are taken for granted. But how wed like to be taken is by a muscular-thighed Adonis with pecs appeal."Luckily sex with Johnny Depp is only the flick of a light switch away. Ah, Johnny - aman whose sex appeal is so deadly it should be registered at police headquarters as alethal weapon."Doing the horizontal tango with George Clooney is also amazing - if only hed beenwith me at the time!" she added.Sarah Millican, 33, is in a relationship, and she said: "I never walk out of a film at thecinema. Im the same with sex. I always think it might get better. To be honest, aslong as Ive got a bag of Maltesers, Im not going anywhere."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Heres what women want from men1. When we talk listen, it shows us that you care about our feelings.2. Men should be smart enough and understand that not all our bad moods are connected to PMS-ing.
  • 22. 3. Guys, developing an EQ (Emotional quotient) would help. That however, does not mean that theyneed to cry at the drop of a hat, it just means you need to be more sensitive towards us.4. With women communication is the key, so try and talk to us often.5. Here are some traits we wish men would display – chivalry, making an extra effort with our friendsand family, because we do the same!6. Cook for us once in a while – this one may sound like a cliche, but we love surprises so an occasionaleffort wouldnt hurt, would it?7. Your machoism is not directly proportional to the speed at which you drive your car. Rash driving isso uncool.8. Be protective, not possessive, hear that?9. We need our man to proclaim love all the time and we leave it to you as to how you wish to show it.10. Remember the quickest way to lose a woman is to lie to her; so be honest.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Men talk and think a lot about sex while women desire it more often. We explore the reasons...Men think, while women desire. Gone are the days when demanding sex was considered exclusively amans forte. Today women demand sex greater than men. And they have no qualms about getting vocalabout it. "I read these funny E-mail forwards that stress on men begging for sex and women denying it.It sounds so funny to me. Its totally the opposite in my case. While men can have a good laugh over itbelieving that this notion exists, I literally have to seduce my husband to get him hooked on to theact," quips production assistant Megha Mehra. And she is not alone. Many girls/women had a similarstory.We spoke to women from different backgrounds to figure out what is making them addicted to sex.Its physically pleasurableAmongst all the other reasons to remain glued to sex, this is the most prominent one. Good sexsatisfies your physical urge, which is very normal for anyone to experience. Psychologist Seema Nainaopines, "Sex is the most basic need of any person. And I am increasingly getting cases where women arecomplaining that men are unable to satisfy their physical needs."
  • 23. Creates positive feelings about oneselfIdeally, great sex means you are enjoying the sexual act and participating equally. It makes you feelgood about yourself, thus adding to your self esteem. Shares housewife Neelam Nehra, "When myhusband comes back from a whole day at work and we have our sack session, it increases my selfesteem. The very feeling that I am able to satisfy him is a great pleasure. And since I never want to goout of shape to look unappealing to my husband (and other men), it even acts as a motivation to workout and feel desirable." Wondering why?"Sex has healing powers. It generates positive emotions and makes one feel more confident. When awoman sees her man passionate in the act, admiring her body and moves, it infuses a lot of goodfeelings within her," opines psychologist Sunaina Bajaj.Brings them closer to their manPhysical intimacy releases hormone Oxytocin, which is also known as the love hormone. Agreesrelationship expert Vandana Mitra, "I have always maintained that couples should never take sexcasually. Its a very important ingredient for any relationship to sustain. It helps couples to nurture therelationship and strengthen the bond." So whoever said having more sex with your partner means lessercases of infidelity, made sense.Content developer Prachi Sinha states, "I feel a major connect with my boyfriend after we make love. Ijust feel like being close to him. My faith in him and our relationship grows stronger." Prachis boyfriendagrees, "When she told me about the 7 days a week sex, I initially could not stop laughing. I mean, thisis not the only thing we have to do. But honestly it has got us closer. I just cant take my eyes off hereven when we are moving in a crowd."Negates unwanted emotions/ Stress-relieverSex is not just a physical sensation but its comforting and relaxing. Call centre executive Neetu Sharmashares her experience, "Whenever I have a bad day at work, sex really helps me unwind. It totally takesthe stress out of my mind and makes me feel relaxed and rejuvenated." Psychologist Reena Kapurexplains why. "Sex involves a lot of deep breathing and touching and the hormones that are releasedduring the act calm you down."Great form of exerciseThirty minutes of sex burns more than 85 calories. We have read it almost everywhere that sex helps inburning calories. Confirms fitness consultant Stuti Batra, "While I do not suggest giving up work outs,doubling up the session makes you drop more weight." While this is the most deadly mix, many girls areseriously taking to it. "It may sound a little funny, but while making love I prefer to play the dominant
  • 24. role. It helps me burn greater calories, leaving my guy in ecstasy," says Payal Verma.Invokes passion"Sometimes I feel like a pervert, because I find myself always thinking about my boyfriend, and whatwe did the night before. It gives me a kick and makes me crave for our next sack session. He thinks Iam crazy, but it really happens to me," shares call centre executive Richa Sharma."It is completely normal to imagine about sex. But I have heard it can freak a guy out- we men are stilladapting to the concept of women demanding sex more than us. But we love that passion," admitspsychologist Prateek.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------An author has come up with a list of 10 top dating tips to guide men on what they shouldnever say to women.David DeAngelo, author of "Double Your Dating", says there is nothing worse than makingmistakes that will later be regretted and one way to avoid them is to remember thefollowing, "Bullz-Eye" reported.First of all, a man should never ask a woman if he can kiss her, as she will only say, aman should never "ask" for a kiss.Asking her for a kiss will only make a man look like a boy, which is what a woman is notinterested in, and even if she says "yes", it could mean she is just being polite, while onthe inside her attraction meter will read a firm, "No".Secondly, a man should never ask a woman if he can take her out on a date sometime, asshe would like to be with a man who is a leader and in control, not someone who asks herpermission to hit on her.A man should confidently ask a woman out, by simply saying, "We should hang out...whats your number?" or tell her about a specific place he wants to take her to.Thirdly, a man should never brag about the car he has or the kind of house he lives in, asit would seem like he is trying hard to impress her.Women would be far more impressed by a mans material possessions if he does notmention them in conversation.
  • 25. The fourth thing a man should never ask a woman is what she wants to do for the night,as she likes a "man with a plan".The man needs to have a game plan before he calls her, so as to ensure that she will notbe burdened with having to think about what to do.Fifthly, a man should never ask a woman if she likes him, as this is one phrase that turnsoff a woman completely.He should just assume that she likes him, and never ask the question, as it would look likehe has no confidence.The sixth tip is that a man should never ask a woman why she never answered hismessage, as one, it would show that he cared she did not reply back, and two, it wouldgive her a guilt trip, which is seen as insecurity by women.The seventh tip is that a man should never ask a woman how men she has slept with, asthis shows that he is suffering from insecurity.The eighth tip is that a man should never hint at a future date with a woman he has justmet, as she not only wants but needs a guy who is somewhat of a "challenge", and willlose interest if she senses she has won.The ninth tip is that a man should never end a phone conversation with a woman with a"next step", as firstly it would kill any spontaneity by being predictable, and secondly hewould kill any chances of her calling him.The tenth tip is that a man should never talk bad about a womans guy friends especiallyif he hasnt met them and doesnt know her very well, as this is the fastest way for her tomark him as "insecure".---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Men are crazy. And they get crazier when they see you approach him in those redpumps and skinny jeans with a baggy and casual tee in style and confidence. Althoughthere are a thousand things which make your irresistible, here are the top mostunbelievable ones:
  • 26. 1. No make-up: Oops. Sorry girl. There‘s a great chance that your guy hasn‘t evennoticed your smokey eyes or the new bronzer on your face. Save money and turn himon!2. Lingerie that doesn’t match : And you though you should pair your lacy, satinpurple underwear with a purple bra? Show him that you are unprepared and yet givein to his desires and make yourself hotter!3. Wit : You thought it was all about physical contact? Crack a joke or flash your smileand he‘s sure to get wooed! Tip: It‘s better still if you are game even for jokes thatare played on you. And why not? It just proves how self-assured you are.4. Curvy is sexy: He doesn‘t like flat abs and zero sizes. Men love love-handles.5. Intelligence, confidence, emotional maturity and sexual openness : Flaunt yourreal self (sans the gloss), support him when he is down, talk excitingly and show yoursensual attitude, and girl, you‘ve got him!6. Wearing a baggy tee to bed: Stay casual and he‘ll be more comfortable in yourcompany. Don‘t intimidate him by being prim always or sounding like a know-it-all.7. Unkempt hair: Whoa, why get prim and proper when your man likes your bed-hairor smudged kohl eyes?8. Eye contact: Make yourself irresistible by looking at his eyes and putting acrossyour point. Don‘t be shy.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Just the kind of drink you choose or what you wear can make a huge difference. We explain...Sunny smile: The way you smile can say a lot about the person you are. Make sure that if you aremeeting a guy for the first time, you are don‘t come across as someone who‘s eager to please andtherefore laughs at all his jokes a tad too enthusiastically. At the same time don‘t appear too stern bykeep a serious face.Dress it up: What you wear is obviously one of the first things that a guy is likely to judge you on.Whether you are a tom boy or a girlie girl... it is all revealed by the way you dress and most guys willdecide whether or not to make a move just by looking at the way you dress.Your drink: The best way to figure you out is by your drink. Your drink can demystify you within notime. Like, if you are a woman aged between 21 and 24 years having rum and coke, you may be
  • 27. thought to be someone who doesn‘t have an adventurous life.Can you talk? Don‘t try to fake interests where you have none. So, if the guy is talking about footballand you have no clue about it, don‘t pretend to be an avid fan. Just tell him outright that it isn‘t yourfield of expertise.Hair scare: Are Plain Janes associated with a bun? The kind of hairstyle you sport is definitely going toleave an impression. An out-of-the-bed look is fine, but if your hair is downright messy then it can be amajor turn off.Watch your cleavage: Yes, if he is a man he is bound to check out your cleavage. So, be aware of whatyou are projecting yourself to be. A buttoned-up shirt is likely to give you a conservative look, whileshowing off too much may make you seem like an easy girl. So know what you are showing.What’s in your bag? If your bag resembles a haversack, it‘s not going to be very appealing, you maynot be high-maintenance, but if you keep bringing out stuff it may give a guy an impression that youare a hoarder or high-maintenance.Glam it up or tone it down: You don‘t need to look like an made-up doll if you are at a coffee shop,similarly don‘t look like you have had no time to even wash your face if you are at a party. Neither isappealing, and a guy is bound to notice.Clean it up: We are talking about your skin here. Guys don‘t notice things like a blemish on your face.But a fake tan or just an unwashed face can be a turn off. It‘s okay to not put on any make-up, butensure that you look clean.Hold yourself: The way you sit or stand or move says a lot about you. Fidgeting too much in your seatis a clear indication of your nervousness, while sitting far too straight may make you seem a bitstressed. Relax, be calm and just be yourself.We list 10 things every woman should know1. Calling you does not mean we are hitting on youMost men are left wondering that why‘s it that just because he called you, you assumed he wants youto fill in the post of his girlfriend. He may actually just want to hang out with you.2. You are much prettier without all that makeupYour basic foundation and kajal is fine, but layers upon layers of makeup only makes you unappealingto your guy. So keep it simple.3. When you act giggly, it’s seriously embarrassingWhen you spot your gang of girls while you are out with your boyfriend, don‘t squeal and go giggly orjump up and down. Most men find it extremely childish.4. Gossiping, whispering and writing notes makes you look shallowWhen you pass notes or whisper when you and your friends are sitting at a table along with othersmakes it seem like you are still in your classroom.5. Boys worry about what you think of their hair, skin, weight and clothesDo tell your boyfriend if you think his new haircut makes him look cute or if his favourite T-shirt needsto be done away with.6. PMS is no excuse to be meanYes, men do understand that every month you are likely to get crabby for a few days, but that‘s notreason enough to be mean and cranky all the time.
  • 28. 7. Talking about your butt is boringIt‘s a known fact that no boyfriend — who doesn‘t want to be dumped — will ever tell his girfriend thatshe is looking fat. So no in point discussing, arguing and then discussing some more, about weight issueswith your boyfriend.8. Tight clothes make you look sort of desperate and insecureYou may be in shape but anything that amounts to too much skin show is not going to be appreciatedby your boyfriend. Don‘t keep showing how desperate you are. It can be a big put off if the guy isserious about you.9. Most boys are looking for the right girlIt‘s not just women who are looking for Mr Right, but boys are looking out for their Miss Perfect too. Sodon‘t be scared to play the love game.10. If you like him, just tell himDon‘t pretend to ignore him and then cry when he asks another girl out for dinner. If he‘s interested inyou, and if you feel the same way then respond. Don‘t keep the guy waiting too long.Its indeed a fine line – one where the quintessential player of the game is separated from the eternalwannabe. To the above-average go lucky male(aka the proverbial alpha male), flirting is a mere tool, aritual to be performed before getting down to the real action, but for the rest of us, it is the oneobstacle which prevents access to the untold world beyond. Granted, flirting is a complex behaviourthat is largely seen as a male trait. While 100% of men are ever-willing to offer advice on the topic,few are actually masters of it in their own right. But this time, that is beside the point.There might come a time in life when one does not have to try too hard. Like the ad for that talc goes,"Is it me, is it you, is it now", we may never know. But to put it straight, if that girl across the room(oracross the table) is actually trying to initiate a flirting session with you, and you miss the obvious signs,there is just no excuse for your sin. To save you from such a predicament, we list 5 simple signs thatcould tell you the light is green…opportunity never knocks twice!5. Eye contactThis is in fact a preliminary test for the merit of the male she has her eyes on. As has been drilled intoour brains over time, "anyone who frequently breaks eye contact is not to be trusted". While here it haslittle to do with trust, it can of course stand out as a lack of confidence. Yet, make sure you dontoverdo it by staring back as if you have nothing else to focus on. Look away for a while and then trainyour eyes back on her…very naturally! The longer she looks, the more the interest level.4. Lip gamesA very flexible maneuver, it can be employed under almost any circumstances, irrespective of thesurroundings – be it in office, a pub or the restaurant round the corner. It may be a simple smile atfirst, but in more opportunistic surroundings it could well go on to a seductive chew on her lower lip.Remember, for an entire generation Y, this was the extent of sexuality in Bollywood – for there is nodenying that a man finds a womans lips seductive. While the latter is perhaps a little too bold andoften avoided for fear of the filthy connotations, a smile is a very safe bet. Slowly running her fingeracross her lips after a sip is also a fair enough sign.3. Copying body movementsIt is a known fact that when a human focuses attention on another, he/she begins to absorb certaintraits from the other person. This is most often at a subconscious level and can happen irrespective ofthe gender of the people involoved, as long as the level of interest is high enough. Notice how sheholds her glass, crosses her legs or even the tone of her voice. If traits such as these are unusual in hermanner, she may well be giving you a rock-hard sign that shes flirting. Imitation is a form of flattery,
  • 29. and is at its best when unplanned.2. Playing with her hairWhile this may seem immaterial at first and often make you ask "Am I just imagining things?", it is infact a major giveaway on her part. It is actually her underlying feminine mystic quality rearing its headas she twirls her hair or lets a lock of it fall unassumingly to cover one eye while in conversation. But ofcourse, it will definitely get her your attention.1. Creating opportunities for youIf she keeps breaking away from her gang, and acts lost, that is a good cue for you to move in. Thelevels may continue to rise, if shes already sitting right across your table. Consciously leaning over justenough for you to catch a whiff of her perfume, or making sure she lets you know her guard is down,are all silent ways of saying "Come on, mister…is that all youre planning to do all day?". Now are youreally waiting for her to touch you?Ironically, it is once the 5 cues are all in place that the trouble begins for most men. This is where theactual line of flirting is drawn. But just remember, when it comes to relationships, women talk. Andwhen given the chance, women flirt…just as much as men do.Karina Bose was watching Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa and couldnt stop laughing when SuchitraKrishnamoorthi got angry after Shah Rukh Khan called her a flirt.A surprised Karina says, "What was so insulting about it? Whats wrong with a little harmless flirting!"Were with you Karina! Theres nothing wrong about it. In fact, it can mean a lot of fun.Havent tried it yet? Well you are missing out on something, so here are some tips.Look shy and sexyNeha Arora, 26, an MBA student, says you should dress in a sexy manner, without looking provocative."You might end up attracting the wrong kind of guys, if youre showing too much skin," she says.Neha uses the coy, vulnerable look instead. "And boy, does it work! I have got myself a lot of dateswith that look," she says.Use your eyesRebecca Ferreira, a 25-year-old textile designer, says using your eyes is the best way to communicate."Once he catches your eye, raise your eyebrow and give him the once-over from top to bottom andback again!Then flash a flirtatious smile in his direction and hell instantly be drawn towards you," she says.Use the magic touch"It helps to get a little touchy-feely when you are flirting," says 23-year-old psychology student AnitaRebello. She suggests you pretend to reach out just beyond the guys shoulder and (innocently!) putyour hand on his shoulder."You dont need to do much. A light touch will communicate your interest," she adds.Body language"Always keep your cool and dont appear too eager," advises Karuna Pradhan, a 27-year-old interiordecorator. But let yourself loose. Yes, we mean literally!
  • 30. "Dont hold your limbs too tightly against your body. Maintain a little distance, but not so much that youare completely out of his personal space," Karuna says.Flirting is a great stress reliever, but if you dont intend to take him home with you for the night, donttake it too far. Learn the difference between harmless flirting and giving out a signal that youreavailable for some naughty fun."Its safest to flirt while you are hanging out with your friends. If things get out of hand, you have helpat hand," adds Neha.Sparks can certainly fly and there can be wonderful spells of romantic undertaking even inthe sultry summer evenings.And summer can be the best time to discover the bliss of togetherness. All you need to do isto make sure that youve got the right ingredients to make the nights and days too, sizzle.Read on...Ice ice baby:A cube of ice, if used as a prop with imagination, can work wonders. Pick one of the ice cubesfrom the freezer and let it act as a tool of before play. How? Use your imagination – hold theice cube in your mouth and begin by trying to plant a kiss and then simply put – carry forwardif the formula clicks.Summer coolers:Is there any better mode of seduction than wearing a see-thru top? Make sure that it is soakedenough to tempt your partner to take notice of what you want to say. What about wrappingyourself up in a damp towel just before going to sleep? If you have a water bed, fill it up withcold water. And then let the chemistry sizzle. Remember, cold is hot.The morning after:If the long summer day makes you feel pooped out during the night, dont worry. Both of youcan make some effort to get up a tad early. Well, an ice cold coffee topped with vanillaflavored ice cream can act as an appetizer. What about sharing the coffee together?So, indulge yourself. Fantasize. Buy yourself something that will melt with the sweat causesalty is sexy. What is food without salt anyway?Lifes equations keep changing. Sometimes, unknowingly, owing tocircumstances we often tend to ignore the issues that come in the way.Before reaching a stage where there is no other alternative but to call it aquit, giving time to think what is or what has been going wrong can help oneiron out the differences in a relationship. Particularly, in a man-womanrelationship, there are many factors like lack of spending quality time,inability to listen to the partner, lead to misunderstandings which may give
  • 31. rise to fractures otherwise not warranted in a healthy relationships.There are certain things, which may not look as very significant factors, butwhen paid attention to can act as buffers which will save ones relationship.Here is how:1. Never look lost in things while your partner is saying somethingimportant. This may give rise to the feeling that you are least interested inlistening to what he or she feels or that you dont think his/her opinioncounts much in your life.2. Ask for your partners opinion when in doubt. But if you think the adviceproves counterproductive to what your logic says, politely convey the sameand explain without losing cool why you think your viewpoint will be theideal solution for the problem.3. Even if at the working hours, pay equal attention to the calls from yourfamily. There must be some reason why someone very close to you wants tospeak to you. If you think repeated calls come in the way of work, politelyand affectionately explain why one should not do so without losing yourcool.4. Gifts, parties, hangouts, food joints are alright. But there is somethingmore than just material pleasure. Get closer on an emotional level and seeyour relationship working wonders.5. Work towards physical compatibility. One does not just enter arelationship for the sake of fun. So share your likes and dislikes on the bedand go ahead to make it a wonderful experience.Celebs debate whether Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewarts month long no-sex agreementis the new therapy to heal relationships.Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been trying to patch up after Kristenwas photographed getting cozy with director Rupert Sanders in July. The couple has soughtthe help of a counsellor, who advised them to sign a no-sex pact. This means that eventhough the two share the same living space, they will sleep in separate rooms for a monthwhile they work on communicating, healing wounds and trust exercises. We explore whetherthis is a practical solution for couples.Its advisableCity-based counsellor Ian Faria says this kind of advice is given to couples in troubled
  • 32. relationships. He says, "Both partners might have different sex desires — husbands might havea bigger one, while the wife, not so much. Taking a month-long sabbatical helps, because itfrees the wife of sexual obligations and will help her gather her thoughts. Earlier, wiveswould take breaks every year and visit their parents home with the children, which doesnthappen now. This lack of space can make it suffocating to be in a relationship."Abstinence is goodModel Faith Panday thinks abstinence is a good thing and says, "Abstinence is probably thebest decision to make while in a relationship. These days, love is replaced by sex, which, inturn, begets a string of negatives that our generation is getting used to, especially with whatthey see around them and on the big screen. But facades can change and mistakes can bereversed. If Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart stay abstinent, good for them!"Its all a gimmickFashion guru Prasad Bidapa thinks Robert and Kristens no-sex pact might be a publicity stunt."The timing seems suspect as their film is due for release soon. Nowadays, romance seems tobe the most disposable thing. The personal lives of celebrities is always under scrutiny andthey live under a lot of pressure, but when they dont get enough attention, they feel lost."Its natural instinct to move onto a new relationship after leaving a sour one behind.But in most cases, one looks for comfort, someones shoulder he or she can cry on. And thats where,one confuses a rebound with a new relationship. Here are some tips to decipher if you are in a reboundrelationship:- The most common sign is that you quickly rush into a new relationship just to get over your ex. Thepain of the previous relationship is too much to deal with and thus, you cannot get over your ex.Therefore, getting into a new relationship works as a form of catharsis.- One expects his or her new partner to possess the desirable qualities and traits that their ex lacked.Chances are that one begins to be demanding with regard to expectations from their new partner.- Sometimes you expect your current partner to possess the same qualities and traits that you founddesirable in your ex. For example, good culinary skills, taste in clothes etc.- You cant help but draw comparisons between your current partner and your ex. Thinking is adifferent matter but saying it aloud is a sure shot sign that you are in a rebound relationship.- At times, you enjoy doing things with your new partner but are somehow reluctant to get physicallyintimate, unlike with your ex. This is another sign that you are unable to move on.- Last but not the least, you are still in love with your ex but you either fail to realise this or youreunable to accept the truth. You think more about your ex than your current partner.Experts have given a few sings to look out for if you want to know weather your wife ischeating on you.Firstly, phone calls - any change in phone calls including frequency of calls, time of day, toneof voice or a change in text messaging habits could all signify that she is cheating. When sheanswers the phone, does she drop her volume or suddenly sound as flirtatious as she did when
  • 33. you were first dating?If it seems like her phone habits are changing and you cannot understand the changes, youmay be witnessing an affair, the Huffington Post reported.Secondly, dates with girlfriends - is she spending more time with her girlfriends than in thepast? Are there many evenings out with the girls, when there were almost none just a shortwhile ago? When you ask her who she will be with, does her answer sound sincere?If any of these scenarios ring a bell, your wife may be going out, but not with the girls. If shewas not socializing with her friends with the same frequency that she is now, that is a sign. Ifshe is doing different things than she did with the girls in the past, that is a good indicationthat all is not what it seems.Thirdly, showering and the gym - does she come home freshly showered, when in the past shedid not shower during the day? Does she seem to be going to the gym more often than sheused to?There are two parts to this one. The gym excuse could be legitimate; it just might be that sheis going there more frequently. The problem is that she might be working out more to impressher new love interest. And if she is not in need of her usual shower at night, chances are sheis showering after an afternoon of interesting sex, followed by a hot shower.Fourthly, cologne - does she ever smell of different cologne, one that is more masculine thanhers? Do you ever comment on the new scent she is wearing, only to find that she does notapply the same scent at home?It could be that the new scent is not hers, but his. Do you by any chance recognize the scentas one you might have tried in the past? Do you recognize it as a scent one of your friendswears?Fifthly, eye contact - has she stopped making eye contact when answering questions aboutwhere she has been and what she has been doing? Does she avoid looking you straight in theeye, when that was not an issue before?For most people, it is very challenging to look someone who knows you very well in the eyeand tell an out-and-out lie. If your wife is lying to you, there is a very good likelihood that shewill be looking anywhere but into your eyes when she does.Next, alcohol and other substances - is she drinking outside the home at odd times or morethan before? Have you suspected drug use, where there was none before? Does she ever smellof cigarettes, even though she doesnt smoke?If you are seeing any of these scenarios, there is probably a partner in crime. Sex, drugs androck and roll all go together, as does alcohol, and could all be indulged in during a tryst. Ifshe smells of cigarettes and she does not smoke, you can bet that he does. You know, almostcertainly, that someone else is influencing her choices if these behaviours are taking placewhen they were not happening before.Lastly, sexual deviations - does she want sex less often than usual? Does she seem to just be
  • 34. going through the motions? Is she asking for things you never did before or teaching you newtricks?Any extreme variances in sexual behaviour are possible indications that there is a newinfluence in her life. While there are other possible circumstances, the most likely scenario isthat she is getting fulfilled outside of the relationship or realizing that there are new anddifferent things that she enjoys and is bringing them into your bed.Sixteen signs that you like someoneSIXTEEN:When youre on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when itwas just two minutes ago.FIFTEEN:You read their Texts and Ims Over and over again.FOURTEEN:You walk really slow when youre with them.THIRTEEN:You feel shy whenever theyre around.ELEVEN:When you think about them, your heart beats faster but slower at the same time.TEN:You smile when you hear their voice.NINE:When you look at them, you cant see the other people around you, you just see him/her.EIGHT:You start listening to slow songs while thinking about them.SEVEN:
  • 35. Theyre all you think about.SIX:You get high just from their scent.FIVE:You relize youre always smiling when youre looking at them.FOUR:You would do anything for them, just to see them.THREE:While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time.TWO:You were so busy thinking about that person, you didnt notice number twelve was missingONE:You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself.Ten signs your partner is not into youThere must have been moments when youve sat up all night waiting for an elusive call from the oneyou love.That is what Ayesha did after she went out on a date with her colleague. She imagined his reaction,consulted her friends, analysed his every move in minute details, but after a point it was clear that thecall wasnt coming. In office the next day, her colleague generally avoided her even as she triedguessing what was going on in his mind. His behaviour left Ayesha miffed. She avoided future dates andno amount of persuasion could make her think otherwise.
  • 36. For all those who can relate to Ayesha, now a book written by former Sex and the City writer GregBehrendt and Liz Tuccillo, " He is not that into you ", has debunked many myths that women haveabout men and dating. The bottom line is that men are not complicated and there are no mixedmessages. If he doesnt ask you out, call you soon after a date or want to come to your place after adate, then hes just not that into you.Amit Behl couldnt help feeling like a loser when the girl he dated for three days, refused to call oracknowledge him in public. "Coming up with reasons that your partner might not have called that arenot critical to you is a natural defense mechanism," says New York City psychoanalyst Gail Saltz, andauthor of Becoming Real : Defeating the stories we tell ourselves that hold us back. So, here are tenindicators that tell you when to heed the signs and decide that the one you are dating really isnt intoyou.All about menYou are just back from a magical date and you expect it to be rounded off with a kiss : Yet it neverhappens. He leaves you lingering at the doorstep with an excuse that he has an early morningappointment in office or has to catch a late night flight. No calls that night and you keep wondering ifhe enjoyed your company. Get it clear in your head that there would be no more calls and datesbetween the two of you.Expert Speak : Says psychologist Aditi Ghosh, "It is difficult to analyse the situation when you are at thereceiving end of such cold behaviour; but once you do so, everything seems less complicated.Sometimes there is something going on in his mind, which is just not about you. It could possibly besomething that is going on in his life or may be about the background he comes from. Often we neverlook into all these facts, but they play an important role in bonding."What not to do : When faced with such a dilemma, its best not to keep awake the entire night mullingover the smallest of details. Instead take a deep breath and try to put the encounter behind you. Enjoya restful sleep and wait for him to give you a cue on your future interaction. If he doesnt initiateanything special, then its better to simply try to be friends with him.Can we give this some time : Clearly, he is in no hurry and wants to keep you at a distance for sometime. There is something about the relationship he isnt much in favour off (read: he is put off) andthus feels the need to rethink. He is more likely to treat you as an acquaintance and would be irritatedif you pursue him strongly.Expert Speak : "Men often go silent about their feelings, especially the negative ones. When they are
  • 37. not feeling good about something, they merely decide to keep it to themselves and expect women totake hints. In most likelihood, the relationship you share isnt the way he had imagined it to be. Just beyourself and give him the space he so craves for," suggests Ghosh.What not to do : Often the more he asks for "space", the less you give. Instead of screaming at him ordemanding for an explanation, plan out a girlie party and unburden your frustrations. Never show yourdependence on him, instead work at being self sufficient and a happy individual.Re: Ten signs your partner is not into you by Rahul » 09 Aug 2009 19:30He likes playing hot and cold : He is all mushy when you agree to get physically intimate with him. Onother occasions, he is irritable and angry. He insults you before his friends and then apologises behindclosed doors.Expert Speak : This is a common phenomenon with men who suffer from an inferiority complex, advisesGhosh. According to her, men need the emotional support that they get from their partners, but dontwish to show their dependence openly. Also for a man to insult in public and apologise privately is asure shot warning that things are not quite right and he needs professional help. In such cases, it isbest to treat him with a lot of patience and convince him to seek help.What not to do : Do not let him continue with this behaviour, though its best to be tolerant with him.Men are likely to continue with this behaviour if they see any kind of encouragement. Tell himassertively that you dont like what you are seeing. Heed the signs and move out of the relationship assoon as possible.He cosies up to his colleague every time you turn your back : You have heard from your friends thathe has a roving eye, but never believed any of it. And every time you want to question him about hisflirtations, he melts you with his warm kisses and longing looks. However, its time now to take the call.Especially when his "colleague" gives you very knowing glances, you know its time to hit the ceiling.Expert Speak : "Men often do this. Especially when they are dating one woman and their interestwanes, they hardly ever take the pains to inform the woman they were formally dating. Thats becausemost guys want to escape the crying and accusations that they believe they would be put through.Hence they adopt a simple style where they think the message can be clearly conveyed without anyfuss. However, no matter what, its important to face the reality and confront the problem," explains
  • 38. Ghosh.What not to do : Do not let the man go easily. You deserve an explanation and he owes you one.However, do not blame yourself for the break up and stress incessantly over it. On the other hand, goout with your friends, develop a positive outlook and see the relationship as best over with.All about womenShe pats you on the cheek at the end of a date : A clean statement that she treats you like a brotherand is not looking for any other kind of serious relationship with you. She is protective and fond of you,but that doesnt mean you stand to become her prospective husband.Expert Speak : Psychiatrist Anil Khanna says, "Women are easily attracted to men who have qualitieslike their brother. Women tend to share a great rapport and prefer them as close friends. But womenalso draw a clear line between the attributes of a brother and the traits of a husband, and that needsto be understood by the man concerned."What not to do : Do not go obsessively pondering about her decision. If she has made her stand clear,respect it, for most likely, that isnt going to change. Also avoid fighting and quarreling with her and donot influence her to think otherwise. Guys, it wont work.She says, "Lets meet again" : It doesnt mean you decide she is completely floored by you. Chancesare she is still testing you and trying to fit you into some category. If you hurry now, you might justlose her!Expert Speak : "A man and a woman can share a platonic relationship. In fact they make the best offriends. However, its best not to confuse it with anything else. That is what most people end up doingand realise later that it wasnt meant to be. A relationship requires time and a lot of patience," advisesKhanna.What not to do : Do not try to create misunderstandings about each others feelings. Examine therelationship, but not to the minutest detail. Most of all, it is best to simply enjoy the moment and letdestiny decide its course.Re: Ten signs your partner is not into you by Rahul » 09 Aug 2009 19:31She indulges in a one night stand with you : Women today are liberated and free thinkers, so it wouldbe foolish to think that she would want anything more out of you just because you had sex one night.
  • 39. She might just not want to have anything to do with you anymore or might just want to remainfriends.Expert Speak : Khanna points out, "Mostly men think women seek more than just plain sex. Howeverthat is no longer the case. Women today want to seek pleasure for fun and wont take it any further. Itdoesnt mean that men should expect anything more. Just like a man, a woman might think there needsto be something more for her to be with that man."What not to do : Do not treat her disrespectfully just because she encouraged physical intimacybetween the two of you and did not take it further. The important thing is to build trust and friendshipand leave it there if thats what she wishes.She invites you over to her place without her husband in the background : It doesnt mean you areallowed to make a pass on her or think that she is available. She might be talking to you like aconfidante, but it isnt reason enough to think otherwise.Expert Speak : "Women need to be treated like individuals with a mind of their own. She might betravelling without her husband or without a male escort, yet it doesnt give any one to think she islooking for some fun," points out Khanna.What not to do : Treat her like she is available. If you are linked professionally, its best to keep themeeting within those limits, if its a friendly call, do not transgress those boundaries.If she has broken up and called you over : Even if you have never wanted her relationship to work outand are secretly happy about it, do not try to take advantage of the situation. Sooner or later shewould find out and things would take a turn for worse from thereon.Expert Speak : "Men think they become attractive when they lend a shoulder to cry upon. But forwomen seeking such help, its nothing more than a friendly gesture to which they pay a lot ofimportance. Most often, men want to take it up from there, but that shouldnt be the case. Even if thewoman agrees to a relationship on the rebound, she is bound top see the truth sooner than later," saysKhanna.What not to do : Physical intimacy is a complete no-no if she is going through an emotional crisis. Shewill hate you the moment the realization dawns upon her.She gets you to meet her parents : Men hold on, it doesnt mean a marriage proposal for you. It justmeans she finds you good enough to introduce you to her folks.
  • 40. Expert Speak : Khanna explains, "Yes, people naturally think that meeting someones parents indicatesfuture plans. But women tend to do this very often with their friends, as they try to convey that themen they call friends are safe enough to bring over to their house. But there isnt anything more thanthat. So take caution."What not to do : Do not expect her to treat you like a king at her place. Instead be ready to get yourleg pulled because she would definitely do that in front of her parents. Take a deep breath and join inthe fun!Do you have a toxic partner?Is your partner toxic for you? Is your relationship having a negative effect of you?If you feel mentally, emotionally and financially exhausted when you are with them, then its time tofind out if you should let go or hold on. We look at dysfunctional relationships that could be killing yousoftly.The image of a blood sucking vampire evokes thrill and terror, and this deadly combination, thoughlethal is still attractive to many, and is probably one of the main reasons why vampire romances havebecome all the rage in recent times. However, you dont always have to step outside to encounter ablood sucking vampire on the prowl, for he or she may be right by your side, killing you softly withtoxic love.Is your partner a vampire who is draining you emotionally?Toxic people can be like vampires draining your energy. As a result, you end up feeling mentally,emotionally and financially exhausted around them. Clinical psychologist and traumatologist, Dr SeemaHingorrany, says, "Any relationship that is less than nurturing for the partners involved can be termedas toxic. Sometimes, the effects of such a relationship are not obvious, and it takes time for the peopleinvolved to realise that there is a problem and they are in a dysfunctional relationship."But awareness is not the only way out. Having the courage to walk away when things get bad is crucial,says Reena Shah, a 25-year-old, call centre executive. She adds, "I was being emotionally blackmailedinto staying in a toxic relationship for the longest time by my ex. While he threatened to commitsuicide if I left him, his mother promised to press charges against me if anything happened to her son. Iwas confused and did not know what to do. Insecure about my future and helpless because I did nothave the courage to walk away from something that was killing me softly."Signs to determine if your relationship is toxicYou know you are in a dysfunctional relationship when:You feel angry all the time or are fearful, stressed and exasperated whenever you are with yourpartner. Guilt, shame, exhaustion, dissatisfaction and a feeling of inadequacy are what you experienceon a daily basis.Dysfunctional relationships are detrimental to your well-being
  • 41. Dr Seema adds, "Generally toxic people are plagued with low self esteem and a feeling of inadequacystemming from insecurities. In some cases, they have been victims of toxic relationships themselves.Purge the poison before it kills you Ameeta Shanghavi Shah, a relationship expert, adds, "There aredifferent reasons why people are negative, the key is to realise when its taking a toll on you and yourrelationship and to fix it immediately."10 ways to deal with toxic partners1. Stay away from drama queens: Toxic partners often try to use your sympathy for them against you.Dont let them draw you in, with their sob stories. Look at things from different angles and avoid takingwhatever they say at face value.2. Learn to say no: Its okay to put yourself in someone elses shoes at times. However, its alsoimportant to stand up for yourself and to put your foot down when required.3. Dont let them get to you: Difficult and negative people have toxic things to say about everythingand to everyone. So take what they say with a pinch of salt.4. Stay positive: This is hard to do when you are constantly surrounded by negative vibes, but itsessential that you stay positive for your emotional and physical well-being.5. Take walks in the park or garden: Instead of reacting to a comment or a remark in anger, leave theroom and mull over it as you take a walk in the park. It will give you a clearer perspective and also liftyour spirits.6. Watch yourself: Sometimes people are negative towards you because of non-verbal cues that yousend out. Avoid rolling your eyes or shaking your head in disagreement as it makes the personuncomfortable.7. Avoid judging the person, observe them, and dont let your ego come in between.8 Walk away, if you need to If all else fails , walk away from the relationship if thats what it comes to.9. Ask yourself probing questions: If you feel there is a disturbing pattern, where you get into badrelationships, examine why that happens.10 Approach a counsellor Seek answers to questions like why do you attract toxic partners? Do youhave low self esteem? Do you know what are the qualities you want in a potential partner? What is ityou are looking for in your relationship?First impression is the last impression. If that holds true, can a first bad kiss rule out thepossibilities of a good partner in the future? Gen-X speaks their mind..."With a heavy heart I say, yes, I would end my relationship then and there, if the man I amdating doesnt even knows how to kiss?" laughs collegian Ambika Mathur, who remembersdumping her first crush for the same reason. Adding further she says, "Had I been born in anera where to have a television set and cable connection was still a big deal, I would havecompromised. But with so much of the western influence and exposure, I dont think men orwomen in India can be bad kissers."Agreeing completely with Ambika, is working professional Karan Kharbana as he says, "Kissingsomewhere is the real test of the love, especially when it is for the first time. I would havenever gone for a girl who doesnt even know the art of kissing. A real relationship starts from
  • 42. kissing and then goes on to various other levels. If one goes wrong there, everything just fallsapart. The first kiss is ought to be great".Even collegian Latika Kapadia feels that "going ahead after a bad first kiss is too much of arisk". She adds, "For me, it is a simple and straight rule that a bad kisser will be bad in bed."But for Kalpana Mishra, life is all about giving chances. "Yes, I dont deny that I would bedisappointed when the person I am dating is a kissing illiterate. But thats fine for me. Ithappens! Moreover, it is a good turn on for me as I can then teach him how to kiss. I can trainhim. Also, the real test happens while making out. If my man is good in bed, who cares!"laughs Kalpana.(Names have been changed on request)Whether you are a newbie or you consider yourself a veteran kisser, there are some rules that youshould follow and, at times, break. Heres what you should know about lip-locks before you pucker-up.Check for bad breathThats the basic thing you should be careful about. Dont have a garlic-laced lunch before a make-outsession. If you cant do this, then dont be surprised if the girl turns away her face in disgust.Dont smoke before kissingImagine kissing an ashtray... Kissing a person who has just smoked is exactly like that. Make sure thatyou are nowhere near a cigarette before you decide to pucker-up.Avoid chapped lipsIts simple... use a chapstick often. Theres no reason why you or your partner should suffer because ofsomething like chapped lips. Make kissing a pleasurable experience not a painful one.Tone down the lipstickWe know you love your glossy lipstick, but cut down on the use of it when you are likely to be headedfor a make out session. You man may like the way your lips look after you apply lipstick, but hedefinitely doesnt want to have it for dinner.Dont open your mouth too wideThat just looks gross. Most girls decide within the first few seconds of kissing a guy about whether therelationship has any future. If you lunge at her with your mouth open shes sure to show you the door.Guys, shave before you pucker upMost girls have admitted that kissing a man with a stubble isnt very appealing. So try to shave beforeyou kiss-and-tell. Your girlfriend is bound to reward you for your neat and clean act.Go slowIf its your first kiss dont try to go to fast. Dont try to French-kiss your girl. Also, if this is your first kisswith your new partner then make sure that your hands dont go out of bounds.Dont try French-kissing in public
  • 43. You may be crazy about your girl but that doesnt mean you forget where you live. Yes, things arechanging and we are more liberal, but trying to opt for a French-kiss in middle of a mall is plain stupid.Dont be surprised if you are asked to leave the premises.Dont be selfishYes, kissing is all about pleasure, but be sensitive. The person you are kissing may or may not beenjoying the pace you are going at, so be careful and dont just think about yourself. A good kisseralways thinks about his/her partner.Watch the kissMany people think that its rude to keep their eyes open while kissing, but it actually depends fromperson to person. If you and your partner enjoy kissing with your eyes open, then there is nothingwrong with it. There are no hard and fast rules where kissing is concerned.Dont ask him/her to compareDont ever ask your partner to compare your kissing style to that of his ex. Similarly, dont ever rateyour partner. Dont go into detailed analysis of your former boyfriend/girlfriends kissing techniques.Dont gloat in front of her friendsYou think your make-out session with your girlfriend was a big hit, but that doesnt mean you gloatabout it in front of her friends. Avoid such things, especially when your girlfriend is a little shy. Its notnecessary to share all details and be applauded for every achievement.Try not to criticise your partner if he/she doesnt meet your expectationsNo one is perfect, so dont think that you have the right to go blast your partner for his/her kissingskills if he/she doesnt turn out to be a good kisser. Instead, be patient and try a different technique.You never know, a bad kisser can be moulded to be your partner for life.Kissing doesnt have to lead to sexSorry guys, but thats the truth. A lip lock doesnt necessarily mean that the girl is ready to take thingsfurther. Dont treat the kiss as the road to the bed, instead treat it like a destination.Before you pucker up one more time, take this quiz to find out where you figure on the kiss-o-meterWhen you kiss your special someone, are emotions involved in it?A. Yes. For me, it is a combination of physical and intense emotional pleasure.B. Sometimes it is.C. No, of course not. It is just a physical thing.What do you generally think of when you are kissing?A. I enjoy every moment and make sure we are both comfortable.B. I try and relax most of the time...C. I get very nervous and keep thinking about the result of the kiss.Does your kissing style change with partners?
  • 44. A. Yes, of course. The way I am doing it depends on the kind of person I am with!B. It does change sometimes.C. No. I am the way I am. I never change my style.Do you forget about everything when you kiss?A. Of course! I just live for that moment. Everything else can come later.B. Very rarely. Only if the person is very special.C. What? Why would I?Intimacy or a comfortable position — what is more important when you are kissing?A. Both. Position and intimacy are both essential.B. Not sure. I am okay kissing anywhere; position isnt that important for me as long as I am enjoying it.C. Neither. To kiss, you just need another pair of lips!Does your kissing have a certain rhythm?A. Yes.B. Maybe.C. Wouldnt know.Your answers:Mostly AA good kisser. Whoever you are with is sure lucky! You are someone who believes that when you kisssomeone you are in love with, it is truly special. If you can forget about everything when you arekissing, it means that you are totally into it. A good kisser always adapts to their partner and that iswhat you do. The combination of physical and emotional pleasure is the key to an amazing kiss.Mostly BA selfish kisser. For you, a kiss does not involve any kind of physical thing at all. You are usuallyrelaxed and do not make much of it and that is a good thing but because you rarely change your styleof kissing it can hamper your pleasure.Mostly CNeed to try harder. You are someone who is usually very disconnected from the actual act of kissingand that does not help at all. You should allow some emotions to creep in to make it work. The factthat you keep thinking about the result of the kiss can hamper your performance.Read on to find ways to be the tagged as the perfect girlfriend1. Hang out with his buddies:As Much as you would like to spend time with him alone. Chilling and spending time with himand his buddies will make him feel that you are easy going and want to be involved with whathe likes to do.2. Buy him tickets to a game:One of the most easiest things to impress him is to buy two tickets to a game he loves, the
  • 45. other ticket being for his friend. This clearly shows that you want him to have his time off andenjoy without you.3. Do not buy clothes for him:If you guys have just started dating, then girls beware not to go and buy clothes for him. Thiswill make him think that you are not comfortable with his dressing style. He as it must begetting loads of clothes from his mother. You sure do not want him to think in those terms?4. Forget something feminine at his place:Purposely forget a piece of jewellery or something delicate like that at his place so that he isreminded of you pretty often. He will always connect you to something as delicate as that.5. Leave a message behind:Leave a nice cute sms on his phone for the date that happened last night, saying how great itwas. You can get naughty by writing something like, "Last night was amazing. Want to repeattonight?"6. Give him a quick kiss:Try giving him a quick sexy signal when his friends are around. He will have a morale boostknowing that you can give him a peck infront of people he knows.7. Too much too bad:PDA is fine to an extent but guys do not like it, if their girls overdo things. Infact peoplearound you too may not be comfortable seeing the two of you. Girls please do not commit thismistake. It will put off your guy.8. Naughty you:Wear a matching underwear and bra in light pastel shades.Give him a little peek at whats instore while you still look feminine and innocent.9. Hard to get:If you do not end up reaching a climax, tell him so. But then, do not forget to tell him thatyou still enjoyed the act. You can guide him the next time. He will appreciate the effort.10. Homemade eats:While visiting his parents, you can bake a small cake or some cookies. This will make his momfeel that her sons giel actually spent time thinking about what to give rather than just buyingsomething off the shelf from the market.11. Weekend getaway:
  • 46. In the beginning of the relationship, plan for some adventure trips. This will indeed make yourbond strong.It doesnt take a Ferrari to hook the best looking girl in the room. Just follow this incantation to raiseyour sexiness quotient immeasurably..TIP 1: Spin a taleTo involve a girl in conversation, you need to learn how to tell a story. Even if it is about that one timeyou ran away from home. Remember all the mythology and even graphic novels you read. They all havecommon patterns and structure. Spin your story around this structure. The good guy must always win,albeit after a few failures. Weave in conflict, disappointment, tension. Make your school adventures akiller tale and women will listen in rapt attention.TIP 2: Mix arrogance with humourTwo most noticeable things in a guy are humour and confidence. Combine them both for a winningformula, and push the envelop to cocky. The trick is saying audaciously funny things, but within a limit.This also makes you unpredictable. Think of James Bond and all the smart-ass things he gets away with.But watch the signs so you dont overdo it.TIP 3: TeaseTeasing is a concealed way of checking if shes interested. But this is not third grade teasing, so dontsay mean things in a nice way. It has to be fun. And build up on it, but in an unpredictable way. Themore you raise her anticipation, the more hooked she gets.TIP 4: AnticipateLearn to read non-verbal demands and situations. Read the dynamics of the people in the room beforestriking a conversation to use it to your advantage. This way, you wont be stuck in the corner with thewife of the suspicious and vengeful boss. Once you are able to read to people in this way, youll knowwho is approachable and what to say to them.TIP 5: Know the gameKnow how a relationship progresses (from attraction to sex to commitment), how much time to spendat each level and how to progress to the next. Know what the indicators of each level and who is incharge. This way, youll know what the woman expects from you and whether you are ready to give itto her. It also helps avoid unnecessary heart burn.Our world has been transformed whether you like it or not. Full stop. Some of our older generationshave been left behind holding onto their old ways and doing their best to get by without using newtechnology. This can be a problem for those not wanting to learn new technologies as they will oftenbecome disadvantaged as society implements new methods of communication and electronic filing suchas mobile phones, computers and other mobile devices.The older generations are finding it particularly difficult as businesses such as banks and doctorssurgerys move to improve their own efficiencies by implementing electronic statements and emailingwhich will require the end user to have the necessary knowledge in order to keep up to date withprogress and communications from organizations they are associated with.Some older folk are starting to get involved with recent technologies such as using mobile phones andsending sms messages which is also important in communicating with their relatives and friends. Tafecolleges are running introduction courses for the older generations teaching basics such as internet,
  • 47. email, word and excel applications.Online dating is also something past generations are not used to however research shows there is agrowing market for this group as they start to catch on and appreciate the advantages the internet canoffer given the right knowledge. How times have indeed changed in a short amount of time for ourolder generations. The standard regular options for meeting single ladies and men 20 years ago arepretty much all but history. Gone are the days of the local Friday night dances at the local communityhall.Instead, available single ladies and men can be found at singles events or on dating sites that can easilybe located on the internet. Options to meet single ladies and men these days are far advanced than 20years ago, the only problem singles face is which dating site they should join."Long walks on the beach, a passion for music and movies" justisnt going to cut it anymore in the rough and tumble world ofonline dating.Struggling at finding love on the Web? Start by blaming your onlinedating profile, which may contain out-of-date photos, blanddescriptions, or one too many white lies. Correcting thesecommon mistakes should go a long way toward avoiding anotherValentines Day alone.Last edited by Rahul on 19 Feb 2008 13:08, edited 1 time in total.Is your profile right?"Look around; you tell me -- how good are profiles these days,"said Evan Marc Katz, dating expert and author of "I Cant BelieveIm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet
  • 48. Dating." Katz has written some 500 profiles for clients on hisonline profile writing service, E-Cyrano."People, after years of doing this, theyve gotten the message thattheyve got to do better," he said. "But most people dont knowwhat that means."Just ask Mark Sweeney how the wrong profile can doom dating.Sweeney, 49, a gay retired mental help aid in upstate New Yorkwho bought his first computer last year on friendsrecommendations, had been out of the dating scene for sevenyears. When he first put up his dating profile, he suffered througha number of bad experiences and mismatches. "People were justlooking to regularly exchange with as many people as they can,"he said. "They were just perverts."Sweeney later joined Match.com, which helped him polish hisimage. "They can help put into words if youre not a good writer."He said his new and improved profile helped him land a date 3-1/2months ago with Joe, who lived 30 minutes away.
  • 49. Get the right user nameTry to be different. Remember, if youre alone, youre in goodcompany."Theres a lot of people looking for love; they dont know whatthey dont know," Katz said. Avoid being one of them. Here arefew tips to start with.The profile sprucing begins with the very first line -- your username. Make it pop, advises Gail Laguna, spokeswoman for SparkNetworks, owner of sites including JDate.com,ChristianMingle.com and BlackSingles.com.Forego generic abbreviations of your name such as JSmith101.Laguna suggested something more expressive, like Live2Laugh orWhiteWaterWarrior. by Rahul » 19 Feb 2008 13:05Be specificExperts also suggest that you try to be more specific in your profile. Anyone can say they love candle-lit dinners and sunsets, said Janet Siroto, editorial director of Match.com, a division of
  • 50. IAC/InterActiveCorp."Try to replace them with things that are more specific or unique to you," she said. "If youre a greatvegetable gardener, not everyone can say that. You like bluegrass music on weekends, share that." Singles surfing the Internet for relationships may need to more careful; a new poll shows many singlesbelieve it is acceptable to tell a little white lie while dating online.According to the latest Manners And Behaviours survey by the US company, Engage.com, 24 per cent ofthe respondents believe it is okay to tweak the truth while dating online. The site, co-founded bySuneet Wadhwa, requires people to engage family and friends in the matchmaking effort.While 30 per cent of the men polled believe one can lie while dating online, the corresponding figurefor women was 19 per cent.Twenty-one per cent of the respondents identified income as the main topic singles lie about in theironline dating profile.Next come weight/ body type (16 per cent) and age (14 per cent); 12 per cent consider it okay to lieabout their height and the reason why they are looking for a relationship."Truthfulness may be the ideal, but many online daters seem to feel it is both necessary andacceptable to use little white lies," said Joelle Kaufman, vice president, Engage.com."For instance, we know women generally feel pressure to be younger when dating online, but theEngage.com survey shows men may feel even greater pressure to lie about their age. Users oftraditional online dating sites complain about the lack of honesty within profiles."When asked to rate their dating manners, 82 per cent rate themselves good to excellent. They alsothink their own dating manners are better than the manners of the people they date; only 66 per centof respondents rated the manners of their dates as excellent to good.As far as communications rules were concerned, 30 per cent say it is okay to blog about your date/romantic relationship. Nearly 20 per cent feel it is acceptable to discuss details of your break-up onWeb-based outlets like as MySpace or YouTube.However, more than 80 per cent of the respondents felt it was improper to break up with someone viaemail, chat, instant messenger or SMS. Only nine per cent admitted to having separated with agirlfriend/ boyfriend using these modes of communication.Nearly a quarter of the singles polled think it is appropriate to say I love you for the first time usingemail, chat, instant messenger or SMS, but only 11 per cent said they had ever done so. More men (29per cent) than women (19 per cent) felt this was okay.Some suggestions for singles who plan to use the Net to find their soulmate:*Be honest when writing your profile.*Be VERY clear about what you expect from a partner and mention these details in your profile.*It is very easy to be swayed and charmed by well-written e-mails. However, take your time and findout as much as possible about the person, before getting emotionally involved.
  • 51. *Confide in your elders; they can guide you if required.*And last but not the least, listen to your heart, it never betrays.Anita Bora, in her article on Dos and donts in cyberspace, gives these tips:While writing a profile*Make sure to jot down your thoughts before actually posting them online.*Organise your words and check your spellings. You dont want to be hasty and careless if youre lookingto attract your potential soul mate!*Be relaxed when you write the profile. Try not to lie, but dont reveal anything that you dont wantto.*Try to be yourself. If you are not a person who drops witty online liners in conversations, then donttry it in the ad.*Be honest and straightforward about who you are and what youre looking for*Be sincere. Your goal is to make someone sit up and take notice, not to make them run in the oppositedirection.While reading a profile*Instead of focusing on the vital statistics of the person, pay attention the tone of the profile. A personcan look great on paper, but can leave a lot to be desired in person.*What is the general feeling you get from the ad and how do you feel? *Does he/ she sound modest,pompous, funny, witty, genuine, caring?*Does he/ she sounds negative, concentrating only on aspects that he/ she does not possess?*Is the information provided enough for you to take the next step? If its too sketchy, you might want tomove on.Diwan Rahul Nanda is chairman and MD, security organisation, Topsgrup, makes these suggestions forwomen who are dating online.*While dating online, do not, under any circumstance, reveal any personally identifiable information inyour profile, personal ads, or private e-mails. Use only the communication tools provided by yourdating service or chat rooms.*Use your judgement here.*When you e-mail in private, you may want to consider using an anonymous e-mail account at a freesite.*Take your time to establish communication and move at your own pace.*Be careful with your email signatures. They sometimes include phone numbers and addresses.So, if you are planning to date online, have fun but be safe
  • 52. The 8 Phases Of dating
  • 53. -----------------------A new University of British Columbia study has concluded that women find happy guyssignificantly less sexually attractive than swaggering or brooding men.The study- that helps to explain the enduring allure of "bad boys" and other iconic gendertypes - found dramatic gender differences in how men and women rank the sexualattractiveness of non-verbal expressions of commonly displayed emotions, includinghappiness, pride, and shame.The study is also the first to investigate the attractiveness of displays of pride and shame."While showing a happy face is considered essential to friendly social interactions, includingthose involving sexual attraction – few studies have actually examined whether a smile is, infact, attractive," said Jessica Tracy of UBCs Dept. of Psychology.The study found that women were least attracted to smiling, happy men, preferring thosewho looked proud and powerful or moody and ashamed. In contrast, male participants weremost sexually attracted to women who looked happy, and least attracted to women whoappeared proud and confident.The study has been published online in the American Psychological Association journalEmotion.
  • 54. Perfect girlfriend has a big sex drive!Men believe that the perfect girlfriend is the one who has a high sex drive, enjoys ahearty meal and gets ready to go out in 10 minutes.Apart from this, the perfect girlfriend is a career-minded woman who earns more thantheir partner but at the same time wants to stay at home and bring up the children.The clue to these seemingly contradictory demands lies in the men polled, 3,000bachelors.Near the top of their girlfriend checklist is the requirement that she should have a "pertbottom" – which may explain why they are still single.And while three-quarters of the men polled said their ideal woman would keep her weightin check, 89 per cent also wanted her to tuck into a big meal without worrying. Theseperfect ladies will have luscious long hair, be skinny and trim and confident enough to goout without make-up."While many women might find these standards hard to live up to, six in 10 men firmlybelieve their perfect girlfriend is out there somewhere. However, there are a fewcontradictions which might make it hard for them to get their ideal date," the DailyExpress quoted Nicole Clowes, spokeswoman for UKDating , which carried out the poll, assaying."There arent many women who can tuck into a mountain of food every day and stayskinny. And there is some confusion about whether men would like to date a high earneror someone who stays at home with the children."The ability to hold an intelligent conversation isnt a big concern for men – 61 per centprefer someone who likes a laugh and a joke.Some spices can enhance your lustful performanceIndia is the land of spices and the second-most populous country in the world. Though the two factssound disarrayed, they are actually linked! Research proves that our sex life gets affected (and spicedup) by some spices.Fenugreek seeds: Saponins which can be found in fenugreek seeds play a role in increasing theproduction of testosterone, the male hormones, which, in turn, causes the raise in male desire.Cardamom: These green wonders increase energy and relieve fatigue, and help you rock your lovemaking process.Clove: They heat up the body and maybe thats what increases the hotness quotient on bed!Fennel: Saunf, as they are called in Hindi, contain an estrogen-like substance (estirol) that turns outdesire. So careful before you grab a handful of it at a restaurant after dinner.
  • 55. Ginseng: It helps improve male erectile dysfunction (ED)Saffron: Theres a reason why old Hindi films had saasumas forcing bahus to add saffron to the milk onthe first night. And you thought it was just for a fair child!Nutmeg: Its one of the most popular natural aphrodisiacs. Research proves that nutmeg has the sameeffect on mating behavior as many medicines. Sprinkle some in your kheer for a long night!Cloves: They boost your energy levels. They also have one of the best aromatherapy scents that helpimprove your sexual behaviour.Garlic: Eating green chilies with garlic is an old (tried and tested) way of enjoying sex for a longerperiod. Peel off its top layers, crush cloves and then fry in butter, and your partner is ready to be anutter!So before you start your performance, hit to the kitchen. Get spicy!Sex secrets sure to drive him wild!Men reveal sex secrets that drive them wild. They maybe simple things women do most unconsciously,but they are potent enough to have a man go up in smoke - thank heavens, not literally!When it comes to sex and initial play, men think differently and so do women. What may work for thegoose, may not necessarily work for the gander as well, and so to have sex that is thrilling, memorableand completely au naturale for both, men let women onto their secret fantasies!Action: Pretend to not want to make-out. Keep your lips closed and clench your legs together.Effect: Once he notices that you are not kissing him back, he will realise you are up to something. Hiskiss will become passionate as he will try to pry your mouth open. Fighting for it brings on anexhilarating primal instinct in men.Action: Have plenty of white tees. Wear them while working with water – watering the garden,washing the dishes and more.Effect: See-through, wet clothes are a real turn-on for men and they cant wait to pull them off you.Action: A woman gliding her lips on the mouth of a bottle – whether its water or an aerated drink.Effect: The touch of her lips on the bottle makes men go weak in the knees and their imagination runsaway with them, wishing those lips were on them.Action: While out shopping, take him along with the clothes you want to try on, into the changingroom, especially if you are buying lingerie.Effect: Hell love you for thinking on your feet!Action: Climb into bed looking very innocent, then do wonderfully unimaginably adorable deeds.Effect: Looking pure and being devilish is a heady combination and every mans dream.Action: Do yoga and let your man watch.
  • 56. Effect: It can be the most exciting form of before play without touching each other.Action: Kiss the patch of skin in front of his ears.Effect: Its an exciting zone and he will quickly beg you for more.Action: When your man leans forward to kiss you, hold the back of his neck in your hands.Effect: Its a tender move and will definitely bring your bodies closer to each other.Action: Play with your mans chest often.Effect: Its another exciting zone. Tantalise him with light, feathery kisses to get the fire burning.Action: Whisper your mans name during the session.Effect: It can really turn up the heat!The woman in your life may give you her heart, soul and, of course, her body, but still theres a partof her being that shell never share with you ... stuff that makes her a mystery.Yes, your woman is a den of mysteries hinted to you in her sly smile, enigmatic laughter or that suddensilence. She just pretends to be one, but is never an open book to you. Her deepest secrets are whatadd to her charm ... but render you an outsider in her own ‗Secret Garden. Secrets of her unsharedyearnings, cherished fantasies or for that matter, a secret lover from the past ...Heres a peep into those hidden secrets ... dig into them at your own risk!- I might just hate it when you sleep in that office shirt, but when you are away, I love to snuggle up inyour shirt because it smells of you.- Though I insist on paying the bill or sharing it in our initial dates, Ill find you cheap and so non-chivalrous in case you dont insist on making the payment.- Long before we explored each others bodies, I had been fantasizing about being with you. Thatinhibition was only to get assured that you are all mine.- I do think about my ex-es and compare them to you. Mostly you win, but you are not all perfect.- ‗I dont care you call or not is pure pretence. In fact, I start waiting for your next call the momentone ends. Not just this, I eagerly want you to plan our next date even before the current one ends. Imight not show it. So, dont fret about looking desperate just call! The gap looks like a lifetime to me.- During the initial days of our relationship, I used to save all our chat histories and your SMSes andread them again and again. Sometimes, made my friends read them, too.- The day you shared your password with me, digging into your chat records and mails was the firstthing I did.- I would love to know what turns you on. Though, I know its going to be hilarious as Ive seen yourfrequently-visited adult sites.- You dont have to be a ‗good boy with me all the time. I dont mind talking a little dirty.
  • 57. - You are my soul mate, but my ‗best friend is my confidante. From the size of your pay cheque, bankaccount to the size of your other assets...she knows it all. So, till you are telling her how much youlove me alls fine. Remember shes my best friend and never yours.- You rightly blame me for bombarding you with so many questions. But, thats my way of testing you. Ijudge and analyse you on every word, expression, action, e-mail or SMS you write to me or someoneelse. So, when I ask ―Do you fantasize about other women?,‖ the answer has to be ―Why would I when Iam with you?‖ So, better watch out!- I love to make you a little jealous as it makes me feel wanted. So the next time you spot me flirtingwith your friend, know that Im actually flirting with you through her.- Every time I fight with you is because I feel ignored. Dont get into your cocoon when Im bad. Justgive me what Im fighting for – a little attention and Ill be all yours.- I love to get constant reminders of the much known fact that – you need me. So, whats the harm indropping liners saying ‗You complete me or ‗Dont ever leave me alone ... ?- Last but not the least, irrespective of how independent and self-driven I am, how ever much I maysay that I dont need a man to be happy, but still I want you to take charge when we are in bed.Dear Friends,"Love in the heart was not meant there to stay. Love is not love till you give it away".For love to be ever lasting and eternal every one should be aware of the differentstages of love and know its significance. Following are the different phases throughwhich you will travel in your love life and only those who pass it will have an endlesslove.ATTRACTIONAttraction can be defined as something, which is more than friendship and is a steptowards getting ready for a relationship. Now attraction is of two types:a. Physical Attraction - happens when your body reacts to another person. Heart rateincreases; temperature rises, palms get sweaty; stomach flutters; throat tightens;etc. This is what will tell you that you are ready for the first contact and also whetheryou are comfortable in the company of the other person.b. Emotional Attraction - develops next if the circumstances are right. After beingdrawn to a person physically, you then begin to come closer. If you find you have thingsin common -- hobbies, ideologies, career, education, or some other common ground --then an emotional attraction starts to form. Sometimes an emotional attraction canoccur even when a physical attraction does not. And in this case, the bond will be
  • 58. stronger between the two who connect, since no preconceived notions based onphysical appearance has occurred.INTIMACYIntimacy is something, which a person experiences when you learn to trust and believeyour lover. It is a close association with another person of the deepest nature. Youshare you thoughts, feelings, and dreams. You feel free to discuss everything with thisperson and you are absolutely comfortable in his company. Thus intimacy developsgradually. If you cant establish intimacy with your partner, your relationship may workfor a while, but is unlikely to endure throughout the years. Intimacy is actually thepath to a true, healthy and beautiful relationship.ROMANCERomance is the essence of a relationship. Without romance your love life will not exist.Romance is the true identity of your love. It brings out your true self and helps you bea better lover, husband and partner. Romance is a celebration of the life you live aspart of a couple. It springs naturally and originates from within your heart. It makesyou do things that you possibly couldnt have imagined to do otherwise. It shows youwho you are and reminds you of the role you play in a relationship. Romance is notresponsibility but it is caring about your responsibilities towards your lover andpartner. Romance is the appreciation of two people who are celebrating the luckycoincidence that they found each other.PASSIONThe third stage is passion, which basically means a desire for another person, whichhas grown to an intensity that cant be ignored. This is often where an emotionalrelationship turns into a physical relationship. The passion stage is very important. Forfrom here you will understand the true meaning and nature of your relationship. Ifthere is no passion then its best to let go but if there is passion in your relationshipthen it is time to go on to the next stage.COMMITMENTThe last stage is commitment. This is when you know that you want to spend your wholelife with this person you love and you can do anything for him. It is when your wholeworld just revolves round your lover and you take a pledge to remain true to your matethroughout good and bad times, be by his side whenever he needs you.
  • 59. eyes meet,it is like a touch...a spark...----------------Attractionthe touch of the eyeswas as if,it was...------------------ Infatuationthe flameof her body is felt,his breath starts igniting...------------------ Loveshe touches him like a whisper,as if silence is mixed in her eyes,he prays, a little consciously,a little unconsciously...------------------ Reverencehe is entangled on her path,entangled in her armslove now turns to...------------------ Worshipliving is an obsession...dying is an obsession...apart from this there is no peace...------------------ Obsessionlet him rest in the lap of death...let him drown his body in her soul...------------------ Death
  • 60. Women prefer men to be funny, notperfectA survey has revealed that women prefer funny men to flawless.Sixty five per cent of women surveyed said they are turned off by guys seeking physical perfection,with 86 per cent citing vanity as one of the biggest turn-offs in a man, reports The Age .Although one in four men view a muscular tanned physique as desirable, women prefer a man with awarm inner glow to hot looks.A convincing 99 per cent of women would in fact prefer a funny guy with good manners to the perfectParagon.While people may be extra cautious about what they wear on a date, a British survey hasfound slim women wear the least sexiest underwear for such an occasion.Women size eight and below are most likely to wear sensible cotton pants. But size 16s makethe most of their feminine figures by opting for sexier matching sets in lace and silk, the Sunreported.Size ten to 12 women are also unadventurous, but size 14 women are most likely to wear asuspender belt, it added.Over half of the women will select special underwear for a Valentines date, and a third willbuy new undies.Toni-Ann Linsday, from fashion clothing line TU at Sainsburys, who carried out the research,said: "This survey really highlights that women are embracing their curves and feelingconfident about their figures.""You might expect classic model-sized ladies to be more confident and adventurous.""However, it seems that the curvier ladies are more likely to choose sexier and chicunderwear this Valentines Day."ncreased stress in men is associated with a preference for heavier women,according to a new study led by an Indian origin researcher.Researchers, led by Viren Swami of the University of Westminster in London,compared how stressed versus non-stressed men responded to pictures offemale bodies varying from emaciated to obese.They found that the stressed group gave significantly higher ratings to thenormal weight and overweight figures than the non-stressed group did, andthat the stressed group generally had a broader range of figures they found
  • 61. attractive than the non-stressed group did.These results, the authors write, are consistent with the idea that peopleidealize mature morphological traits like heavier body size when theyexperience an environmental threat such as stress.The study was recently published in the open access journal PLOS ONE.Researchers have found that a majority of women really do prefer a man with a smoothchest.Researchers compared the attractiveness of men before and after shaving their chest, andfound only 20 per cent of women preferred the more hirsute version, the Daily Mail reported.However, the team from Slovakia admit they are still baffled as to why so many women chosethe hair free men.The reason humans are not nearly as furry as our closest primate relatives has puzzledevolutionary biologists for more than a century.One of the most prominent theories has been that, by choosing a hairless mate, women areactually trying to avoid the lice and other bugs that can live in a furry male.However, in one of the biggest ever studies into womens body hair preferences, the teamfound this so-called "ectoparasite avoidance hypothesis" was not the answer.In fact, 80 percent of women prefer relatively hair-free men, according to new research.This preference for smooth skin holds whether or not parasite risk is high."According to evolutionary view, hairless men should be preferred, particularly in areas (orcultures) with high parasite threat, which means close to the equator, where parasiterichness is highest," Pavol Prokop, a professor of biology at Trnava University in Slovakia,wrote in an email to LiveScience."We compared only two countries that differ in parasite threat, but we found no differencesin womens preferences," he wrote.The study is published online in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.Here are ways to be tagged as the girl of his dreams...Hang out with his buddiesAs much as you would like to spend time with him alone, chilling and spending time with him and hisbuddies will make him feel that you are easy-going and want to be involved with what he likes to do.Buy him tickets to a game
  • 62. One of the easiest things to impress him is to buy two tickets to a game he loves, the other ticket beingfor his friend. This clearly shows that you want him to have his time off and enjoy without you.Do not buy clothes for himIf the two of you have just started dating, girls beware, do not buy clothes for him. This will make himthink that you do not like his dressing style. He, as it stands, must be getting loads of clothes from hismother. You sure do not want him to think in those terms, do you?Forget something feminine at his placePurposely forget a piece of jewellery or something delicate at his place so that he is reminded of youpretty often. He will always connect you to something as delicate as that.Leave a message behindSend him a cute SMS about the date that happened last night, saying how great it was.Give him a quick kissTry giving him a quick sexy signal when his friends are around. He will have a morale boost knowingthat you can give him a peck or a tight hug in front of people he knows.Too much too badPDA is fine to an extent, but guys do not like it if their girls overdo it. In fact, people around you toomay not be comfortable seeing the two of you and it will put off your guy. Try not smother him.Naughty youWear a matching underwear and bra in light pastel shades. Give him a little peek at whats in storewhile you still look feminine and innocent. You will surely make him go weak in his knees!Homemade eatsWhile visiting his parents, you can bake a small cake or some cookies. This will make his mom feel thather sons girl actually spent time thinking about what to give rather than just buying something fromthe market.Weekend getawayIn the beginning of the relationship, plan for some adventure trips. The adrenaline rush during the tripwill help both of you understand each other. This will indeed strengthen your bond.Red alertYou can tell him how good he is as a person but never tell him how amazing your ex was. You do notwant him to think that you have not got over your ex.Praise himGirls are used to getting compliments. But try praising your man every now and then, he will really feelspecial and wanted.
  • 63. How can we spot if our partners are having an affair? There are five tell-tale signs:Conversation: Our partners may mention the name of a particular woman or man more often thanusual, sometimes repeating what they have said. Their conversation may feel slightly different andthey may suddenly entertain new ideas that seem to have appeared from nowhere. The man whosuddenly declares that hes heard that Evening Primrose Oil is good for long life, and starts taking it, isa man to watch. A woman whos never been known to read more than a magazine but who suddenlystarts trying to wade through Proust might also be the subject of slight suspicion.Sexuality: Its not just people who go off sex altogether, claiming to have a headache or are too tired,who may be having an affair. Sometimes betrayers are so turned on sexually by their new lover thatthey start having more sex, rather than less, with the person back home.General behaviour : They may become more secretive. They frequently claim to be exhausted orstressed, which usually means the betrayed feels inhibited about initiating a discussion about theirsuspicions - which is exactly what the person having the affair hopes to avoid. Guilt makes them bad-tempered or angry if anything intimate is mentioned. If you start questioning, they may well reply:`Get off my back. Of course, Im not having an affair. How the hell would I have time? An innocentperson would probably take the time to reassure you lovingly.Appearance : People who are having affairs usually start to look better, partly because theyre payingmore attention to their appearance by exercising or buying new clothes, but partly, too, because itsimpossible to hide the happy flush of sexual and loving excitement that infuses them.Your intuition: Perhaps the most tell-tale sign of your partner having an affair is your own intuition.Unless you have a long history of unfounded jealousy or paranoia, then youre almost certainly right. Ifyour partner isnt having an affair, he or she is almost certainly thinking about it. We trust our intuitionfar too little these days.In the past, there have been some rather pathetic claims about how affairs can have a beneficial effecton a marriage. Maybe a very few have that effect, because they force the unfaithful person to realisehow much he or she has risked losing, but on the whole theyre destructive. `While its true that if youasked Joe Bloggs what hed do, in theory, if his wife had an affair, hed probably say hed leave her, thereality is that more people stay together than split, says Julia Cole. `The problem is that the breech oftrust is incredibly difficult to repair. One young man said that when his wife had an affair it was asthough a crystal vase had fallen from his grasp and he was now trying to fit all the shards back togetheragain.
  • 64. Being privy to every little quirk of your partner might not prove beneficial to your relationship...Lovelorn couples; heres a red alert! Sitting in a coffee shop, sipping on endless mugs of coffee andhaving a conversation to know absolutely everything about each other might really get you nowhere. Arecent study claims that not knowing your partner could be the key to a long-lasting relationship.The study, conducted by two psychologists from a renowned Swiss university, found that couplesmarried for an average of 40 years know less about one anothers preferences than do partners whohave been married or in committed relationships for a year or two. For many, the only explanation tothe outcome of this study is that not knowing and liking is a better option than knowing and not liking.Simply put, ignorance is bliss.Art dealer Vedhika Choudhurry completely agrees with this theory. She says, "If I come to know myhusband smokes, flirts with his PA at work and is a closet misogynist, would I want to stay with him?Never. I find it better not to know what his faults are and accept him at face value rather than find outwhat he really is and go knocking on the doors of the family court!"Psychologist Namitha says this study can be perceived in two ways. "One, people find denial morecomforting than the hard truth," she says, "Another way to look at it is that rather than getting to knoweverything about a person in a short span, getting to know them over a number of years, discoveringsomething new about them every day as you grow older, could be the secret magic ingredient. Thebest way to go about it is to achieve a balance in how much you disclose because as bad as it maysound, sometimes complete honesty really does kill."This study might come as an irony of sorts in this age — a time that hails and celebrates the virtues oflive-in relationships. An increasing number of young couples are opting for this marriage-without-being-married concept so they can get to know their partner inside out before saying the sealing I Dos.Software engineer Kamal Krishnan says, "On one hand, it gives me jitters when I think of marryingsomeone I dont know entirely. On the other, theres got to be a darned good reason why couples whoget married after a live-in period still split. It might have to do with raised expectations. For example,when youre courting, you find out everything about your partner, you remember that they dont likeonions in their food. After marriage, if you happen to forget this little detail, all hell breaks loose.Might as well maintain some ambiguity from the word go, then."However, happily married for 30 years, bank manager Saraswati Ramachandran rubbishes this study. "Ithink its absolutely necessary to know what kind of a person your partner is. To know his likes anddislikes, his personality traits, his attitude and aptitude is a must. After all, you have to spend foreverwith him — hes not a roommate, hes your soul mate."5 steps toward a strong and healthyrelationshipIf you think your romantic relationship is on the rocks, dont worry, for an expert has offered tips tokeep it alive and happy.
  • 65. "Keeping the love in a relationship is about understanding who the other partner is and workingextremely hard to keep the lines of communication open," said Josh Klapow, of the University ofAlabama at Birmingham.Klapow said a relationship is doomed if the communication is not there. "Very often its the littlethings, the daily hassles and decisions that couples need to make that lead to bigger problems; learningto make decisions together is critical for the survival of your relationship," he said.Here are the five things Klapow recommends for making decisions together:Set a specific goal"What do each of you want? Make sure you are very specific. Eating dinner out is not a specific goal.Going to a restaurant where you can get a steak, your partner can get grilled shrimp and you both canrelax in a quiet booth is specific. The more specific you are the better."Monitor your discussion"As you are discussing the decision at hand, make sure you are staying on track. Often couples will startdiscussing a goal and stray to some other topic, which can lead to frustration. So, if you notice yourselfor your spouse getting off the subject, come back to the specific goal."Arrange the situation for success"Decision making doesnt work well when someone is tired, hungry, short for time or pre-occupied withother activities. Before you start the discussion, make sure each of you is in the right frame of mindand you have the time. If not, table the discussion as it is likely to go awry or fail."Recruit support from one another"A collective decision means that sometimes there will be compromise. If you are going into thediscussion to win, then you are not making a collective decision; you are fighting a battle. Remind eachother that you are a team and that you are in it to win collectively, not necessarily individually."Treat yourselves"Celebrate the success of a decision together. A hug, a celebratory reward, anything that acknowledgesthat together you have accomplished this task will help keep you motivated to make decisions togetheragain." (ANI)If you‘re working to improve your marriage, here are a few habits of happy couples.1. Go to bed at the same timeRemember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn‘t wait to go to bed with each other tomake love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at thesame time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.2. Cultivate common interests
  • 66. After the passion settles down, it‘s common to realise that you have few interests in common. Butdon‘t minimise the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If commoninterests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interestsof your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing toodependent.3. Walk hand in hand or side by sideRather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand inhand or side by side. They know it‘s more important to be with their partner than to see the sightsalong the way.4. Make trust and forgiveness your default modeIf and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can‘t resolve it, happy couples defaultto trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrongIf you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what heor she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for.Happy couples accentuate the positive.6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after workOur skin has a memory of ―good touch‖ (loved), ―bad touch‖ (abused) and ―no touch‖ (neglected).Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the ―good touch,‖ which can inoculate yourspirit against anonymity in the world.7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morningThis is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battletraffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feelThis tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in therelationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.9. Do a “weather” check during the dayCall your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjustexpectations so that you‘re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner ishaving an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about somethinggood that happened to you.10. Be proud to be seen with your partnerHappy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact -hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather justsaying that they belong with each other.Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behaviour that you doautomatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new abehaviour to become a habit. So select one of the behaviours in the list above to do for 21 days andvoila, it will become a habit...and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don‘t
  • 67. despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back inthe habit.If there was one key to happiness in love and life, and possibly even success, it would be to go intoeach conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind, "JustListen."Focussing on partners looks may ruinrelationshipConcentrating on your partners physical attractiveness may make you less happy in relationships,according to a new study.The study also found that magazines and movies that portray people as sex objects can cause you tosee your partner in that light, though not yourself, reports Live Science.Self-objectification; when a person is obsessively concerned about how he or she looks; has been shownto affect womens self-image, school performance and life happiness. But this quality hasnt beenstudied much in the context of romantic relationships.Partner-objectification, where that focus is placed on a partners physical qualities over everythingelse, hasnt been studied at all in this context."If you have these kinds of thoughts and beliefs about your partner, it might be a block that stops youfrom having that intimacy, which is important in relationships," said study researcher Eileen Zurbriggenof the University of California, Santa Cruz.For her study, Zurbriggen polled 159 sophomores at her university. The students were asked to fill outa survey on their romantic relationships (current or previous), their media consumption and theirfeelings of objectification.Objectification was measured by how strongly the students agreed or disagreed with statements suchas: "I rarely think about how I/my partner looks"; "I rarely compare how I/my partner looks with howothers look"; and "I often worry about whether the clothes Im/my partner is wearing make me/themlook good."The men showed higher levels of partner-objectification than the women, but both reported similarlevels of self-objectification, in contrast to previous studies.Women are traditionally believed to be more self-objectifying.Based on the participants responses, Zurbriggen found that the greater their consumption ofobjectifying media of all kinds, the more likely they were to focus on their partners looks.Zurbriggen found that partner-objectification lowered relationship satisfaction, as well as mens sexualsatisfaction.
  • 68. "This could be because concentrating on your partners attractiveness tends to make you less concernedwith your partner as a whole, leading to a less satisfying relationship and decreased intimacy," shesaid.Wondering why your last relationship ended on the wrong note? Well, the reason could be your tastein music.A new study has suggested that music actually predicts sexual attraction.The most recent issue of Psychology of Music exmaines the link between identity, music and whatmakes people click.This had led the LA Weekly blog to explore what it is about why we like, what we like, and perhapsmore importantly, how this can make or break a relationship.During adolescence, music becomes a symbol of your identity to help you belong.Research duo North and Hargraves say that music functions as a badge which people use to not onlyjudge others but at the same time, to express their own ideas.For instance, the child who wants to appear rebellious picks music that seems like its made by peoplewho rebel.This symbol of identity also helps you strike a balance between belonging but also being original.You do this by liking a genre that your friends like, but to try and stand out while not becoming a totaloutcast, you find a performer within that genre which no-one else knows about.Eventually however, you get into music that reflects your values.According to researchers, rock is associated with social awareness and rebelliousness while pop islinked to values about gender roles and conformity.Scholars Rentfrow and Gosling discovered that people who like blues, jazz, classical, and folk areliberal and more open to experiences.The blog also points to a study, which found that a womans devotion to country music diminishes herattractiveness to a potential male mate and a mans interest in country music make him less attractiveto women.But devotion to classical music and heavy metal rock has a different effect depending on if youre aman or a woman."A dates devotion to country music was found to diminish attraction in respondents of both genders. Incontrast, devotion to classical music and to heavy metal rock proved to be gender specific," the Daily
  • 69. Mail quoted the study as saying."Fascination with heavy metal rock greatly enhanced the appeal of men, but it proved detrimental tothat of women. Adoration of classical music produced the reverse consequences."It tended to facilitate the appeal of women, but to diminish that of men.It also found that men were more strongly attracted to women with whom they shared musical tastes,"the study added.The study has been published in the Communication Research journal.Signs of a rebound relationshipIts natural instinct to move onto a new relationship after leaving a sour one behind.But in most cases, one looks for comfort, someones shoulder he or she can cry on. And thats where,one confuses a rebound with a new relationship. Here are some tips to decipher if you are in a reboundrelationship:- The most common sign is that you quickly rush into a new relationship just to get over your ex. Thepain of the previous relationship is too much to deal with and thus, you cannot get over your ex.Therefore, getting into a new relationship works as a form of catharsis.- One expects his or her new partner to possess the desirable qualities and traits that their ex lacked.Chances are that one begins to be demanding with regard to expectations from their new partner.- Sometimes you expect your current partner to possess the same qualities and traits that you founddesirable in your ex. For example, good culinary skills, taste in clothes etc.- You cant help but draw comparisons between your current partner and your ex. Thinking is adifferent matter but saying it aloud is a sure shot sign that you are in a rebound relationship.- At times, you enjoy doing things with your new partner but are somehow reluctant to get physicallyintimate, unlike with your ex. This is another sign that you are unable to move on.- Last but not the least, you are still in love with your ex but you either fail to realise this or youreunable to accept the truth. You think more about your ex than your current partner.There is a close two-way connection between bad sex and a bad relationship, and the giveand take between physical contact and emotional connect is just the tip of the iceberg.Although many people refuse to understand the enormity of sexual dissatisfaction inrelationships, the fact is that sexual compatibility and appetite is as important as any otheraspect of a couples life together. Today, Dr. Pulkit Sharma, Clinical Psychologist and
  • 70. Psychoanalytical Therapist at Vimhans Hospital, Delhi, unravels the mystery of why bad sex isequal to a bad relationship.Bad sex as a mirror of relationship crisis: In many couples who come for counseling withcomplaints of sexual intimacy, it is often seen that bad sex is just an expression of deep-seated issues in the relationship. Either one or both partners harbor rage, envy andresentment towards each other and this gets mirrored in their sex life. Since sexual intimacyinvolves opening up to the other person, these people resent it. In such cases a change ispossible by working on emotional and psychological issues.Bad sex and dissatisfaction: Either one or both partners fail to understand that mutuallysatisfying sex is an integral part of a good relationship. People still hold on to the myth that ifyou are truly in love, sex does not matter so much. The fact is that it matters a lot and oftenpeople feel embarrassed in sharing this. The negative emotions pile up eventually ruining therelationship.Bad sex and neglect: Having bad sex indicates that either one or both the partners areneglecting the needs and the wishes of the other person. In a good relationship, both partnerstake keen interest in gratifying the needs of the other person including the sexual ones.Bad sex and personality misfit: Bad sex can also indicate that both the partners are verydifferent from each other and do not understand each other well. Psychologicalincompatibility in personality can also lead to an incompatibility in sex life. Often peoplehave very different excitement patterns and intimacy needs from each other and a commonunderstanding needs to be built in the relationship.Bad sex and inhibition: Bad sex can also be an indicator that either one or both partners feelclosed and inhibited emotionally in the relationship. This is a vicious cycle, which makes boththe relationship and sex life deteriorated.Youngsters believe in a no-strings and no-emotions attached relationshipwith only sex as the important part of their relationship today...Gone are the days when a guy and girl came together because they wereinterested in a relationship or wanted to be friends! With relationshipsbreaking up more often, guys and girls develop friendship with benefits.There was a movie Friends with Benefits recently on this new age friendshipstarring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis but movies are about happyendings and this one also had the two expressing love for each other in theend. In real life however, guys approach girls these days for a relationship
  • 71. that spells friendship, involves casual sex but a clause that states therelationship should be free from any emotions or attachment whilst theyexclusively date each other. Since sex is a biological need Gen Y feels thatwhen emotions get involved with sex, it gets complicated, there is the fearof heartbreak, tears, and the challenge to get over a bad relationship. Whenthe relationship does not have such baggage, it is easy to break up!But is it so easy? At least, not for the individuals who have been through it.Moni Panchal, an advertising executive tells us how she had such arelationship with her boyfriend and then emotions did get involved. Shesays, "We had sex, but then I realized I was dependent on him for manyother things in life. I spoke to him regularly, met him on weekends, andbefore I could realize it, I was in love. And when I confronted him about it,he developed cold feet and fled! So as much as women get involved fasterwhen sex is involved, men take time to get into a relationship and it couldbe vice versa too." In the case of Samir Trivedi, a married businessman gotinvolved with his best friend and it was understood that since he wasmarried, this relationship was only about enjoying the present. But he soonrealized he was more happy with his best friend once he got comfortablewith her, sharing his life, while his best friend was only using him for sex.A single woman, Gauri Dutta, is a lawyer and whenever she is depressed andfeeling low, finds solace in her friend Rahul Desai. Both of them go out on aholiday, enjoy a relationship and then come back to their homes living theirseparate lives. Gauri says, "It takes the pressure off from me to find a manto have sex. Besides marriage does not guarantee good sex. My friend knowswhat I like and also comforts me when I am feeling depressed. He alreadyhas a girlfriend but that does not bother me and I dont want them to breakup so long as he is good with me."It seems life is not really like they show in the movies anymore. Real loveand a committed relationship is now seen as a baggage full of trials andtribulations and Gen Y is trying to find a convenient way out!
  • 72. REFER TO BEAUTY AND BRAINS LOVE AND DATING VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE…..REALLY NICE ONE..This ones exclusively for our male readers. But ladies, its got more than enough of hints you can makenote of and, put to use. For starters, flirting is defined as to court triflingly without serious intentions,play at love. And guys, if youre wondering why we are defining flirting for you, its because we aregoing to tell you what are those sure shot signs to tell that the lady is flirting with you, or to put it instreet lingo, hitting on you. Opportunity never knocks twice and missing the obvious signs is not at all agood idea. So read on to know what you just cannot afford to miss. And mind it, we, quite literally,have the dope straight from the horses mouth.Playing with her hair: "If she moves her hand through her hair repeatedly or twirls the strands into alock and lets it absent-mindedly fall across her face, its a sure shot sign that shes flirting," says StanleyMartins, a project manager with an MNC. This incidentally was the one sign that every man we askedtold us.Laugh riot: According to actor Sudhanshu Pandey, if a girl laughs at almost everything you are saying,even though it may not be funny, it could mean just two things. "Either she has a bad sense of humouror she is flirting with you. Id like to believe its the latter," he adds.Eye spy: How she makes eye contact is a dead give away of whether the lady is flirting or not. "She willremain focussed on you no matter who else is around. Also, she will make all efforts to be a part ofyour group or sit at your table so that you are aware of her presence," says Shreedhar Kabra, marketingmanager of a pharmaceutical firm.Damsel in distress act: "If shes always looking for opportunities to enlist your help on some task or theother, no matter how trivial they are, it means shes interested in you. When she wants to flirt, she willtake every possible chance to touch you or hold your hand and will pout if you dont respond," saysbusinessman Kishore Butani.Get closer baby: According to musician Kieran Athaide, a girl who is flirting will not miss anyopportunity to get physically as close to you as possible. "Even when youre in a large group, shell takethe seat next to or right opposite you. Shell even attempt to get close to you in the virtual world, overchat," he says.Decking up for you: How many times have you been out on a date and the girl you are with excusesherself at regular intervals to freshen up. And everytime she comes out, youll notice fresh makeup orthat her hair has been rearranged. "This means she is going out of her way to get you to notice her,"says Ravi Kamath, a graphic designer.She makes a lot of handgestures: "Shell move her hands a lot during the conversation. There will be gestures for each andeverything, even if its not necessary. This is her way of drawing your attention towards her. And if youcomment on her nail colour or some hand jewellery she is wearing, shell blush," says Marino Fernandeswho works with an IT firm.Leggy affairs: "If a woman is flirting with you, she will rub her legs against yours. That of course isapart from every opportunity for physical contact — like touching your hand, or smoothing out yourhair, or straightening out a non existant crease on you shirt," says MNC employee Dhruv Pandit.
  • 73. The woman in your lifeThe woman in your lifeNo offense guys heheTomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are; Who is earning almost as much as you do;One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister havent, as she was busyin studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinaryachievements.One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25years of her life;One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt yourhome, your family, your ways and even your family ,nameOne, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to herpredicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchenOne, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day,even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be aservant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesnt want to; and is learning just like you are as towhat you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you wont like it if she is toodemanding, or if she learns faster than you;One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those,who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid yourirrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but wont, simply Because you wont like it, eventhough you say otherwiseOne, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
  • 74. One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire lifea grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - yoursupport, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.treating her with respect, caring about her well-being and happiness, showing her that she matters. Itmeans being faithful to her, honest with her, being there for her. It means going the extra mile to showher that youre thinking about her.Treat the woman in your life with respect. It means putting her inhigh regard no matter who she is and where she came fromBut not many guys understand this......Please appreciate "HER"............ ......Have you thought about what it means to be the other woman in a mans life? Simi Kuriakose asksthe experts to help you outThere is always that one woman you cant help but notice. Its that demi-goddess were talkingabout, who paves her way into the heart of that hot married man you cannot resist.While thereason why you are so irked by her could just be jealousy, you prefer guising that jealousy underthe garb of the Other Woman to that man being the home-wrecker. We do not blame you forpointing your finger on her. Its all thanks to the societys stereotypical thought.There is no harm in being attracted to a married man. Then again, if you are contemplating beingthe other woman in his life, maybe these pointers can help you sort yourself:1. Examine what you need out of life : For any person (especially women), commitment andsecurity in a relationship is extremely necessary. Are you ok with the short-term pleasure youreceive? Why are you not willing to settle for something better?2. Examine the goals of your relationship with that man : Psychologist Varkha Chulani says thatyou should question yourself about things like why is it that you are compromising and willing tobe the second fiddle to a married mans wife. Are you so die-hard of love and attention? At times,you just might be high on confidence and self-esteem, with a million men wanting to be with you,but you still lay your hands on that married man. Is it just a way to show that you are the ultimateseductress who can woo any man regardless of his relationship status?3. Put yourself in the wifes shoes : Think once, will it be ok for you to see your husband havingan extra marital affair? You might just be able to figure how heart-wrecking such a situation canbe. It is important for you to remember that everything he told you about why he is in arelationship with you, might just not be true. You might be missing out his wifes stand.4. Weigh the consequences : Dr Chulani suggests you try the hedonic calculus method, i. e.
  • 75. gauging the short term and long term consequences. You do not want to realise five years laterthat you should not have wasted the prime of your youth on him instead of looking for other,better options. It is important to ask the man you love whether he is willing to stand up for you.See if he is man enough to protect you when you are being judged by others. Does he ever standup for you and take the onus of being linked with you? If the answer to all these questions are no,hes treating you as that snack you would like to munch on once in a while but never have for adaily meal.5. Be ready to be tagged as the home-breaker : Think of how people will be wary of you,keeping their husbands away from you. Dr Chulani says that the man will never share the blamewith you. However, you will be held responsible for being the woman who breaks his house,despite whether you entered in the relationship while he already had a bad marriage or not. DrChhabria says its important that you are secure in your head that you never intended to break hismarriage.6. Men tend to get a little over-posessive about their women, be it their wife or theirgirlfriend. They want the best of both worlds. Bear the difficulties that may ensue if at all youleave the relationship. Remind yourself that you knew he was married and you had to makecompromises. You just might be heart-broken without him, but trust us it will be worth it.7. Look for someone who would give you first preference. If you are the one who is ready topull out a tissue from your purse on the death of an ant, then probably it is best for you to moveon and find a companion for yourself, who will give you what you want. Like Dr. Chhabria says, ifyoure looking for a stable relationship, this is not the one. Being in a relationship with a marriedman is like walking into a furniture store and asking for clothes.Here are 7 things that tell us what goes on in a womans head...A man with a homeWomen are looking for stability in a relationship, and a man who has his own pad definitely scores overthe rest. If you want to be engaged but are still living at home, its time you change that.Groove togetherMany women enjoy concert or dancing dates. Its a nice way to get to know if they can match moves onthe dance floor and are compatible without the stress of having to think about a topic to talk about.Clothes make it a manWomen pay attention to how you dress, while saggings pants and baseball caps worn backwards may beideal for a rapper look, its not something that appeals to most women. Well fitted pants, jeans and t-shirts will always stay in style.Text, dont call
  • 76. Some women prefer text messages to phone calls early in a relationship.Women dont like jerksWhile they dont mind you speaking your mind, and being assertive, women dont like the company ofjerks. They need someone who treats them like an equal, but who will also stand up for them.Show you care with genuine questionsWomen are looking for men who really care about them. You can express this by asking the rightquestions and getting to know more about their job, family and friends. Be a listener and help themsort their problems, they are sure to rely on youTaboo topicsSome topics are just off limits. Women dont want to be pressuried into discussing their pastrelationships as they are not interested in comparing notes. If they want to they will bring up the topic,otherwise just let it be.Why girls find bad boys sexier?Women really do find moody bad boys sexier than cheerful chaps, a study has found.Psychologists say brooding or swaggering males were far more alluring than happy men whosmiled a lot, reports express .In contrast, men were more attracted to smiling women compared to as straight-facedwomen.Volunteers were shown pictures of the opposite sex projecting different emotions for thestudy at the University of British Columbia in Canada.Researchers said evolutionary theories suggest a confident, proud posture in a maleexaggerates masculine features, implies status and an ability to provide for a partner andoffspring.Smiling was associated with a lack of dominance in men and "submissiveness andvulnerability" in women.http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=DMQTKu46cXA#t=0s watch this VIDEO
  • 77. Most single girls use male pals for sexA third of single girls use their male friends for sex, a new poll has revealed.The survey, conducted by the UK based website MyCelebrityFashion, found thathalf of these women call on ‗friends with benefits‘ because they do not want aserious relationship.The data showed that 19 per cent hopped into the sack ‗to have fun‘, while 22per cent said that the romps were ‗not planned‘, and eight per cent hoped thefling might develop into something more.―The idea of ‗friends with benefits‘ is growing in popularity,‖ the Sun quotedAndy Barr of MyCelebrityFashion as saying.―Perhaps people shouldn‘t automatically think all women want to settle downright away and have a serious relationship,‖ Barr added.The poll found only 29 per cent of the girls stayed friends with ex partners, asone in five said their best pal was a man.When it comes to friendships, single women prefer not to be friends withmarried men...Ishani is a 35 year old working woman and has several married men at workasking her out for coffee, inviting her to watch a movie or even offering a"no strings attached" relationship if she is willing to take the offer. Thereare several other women like Ishani who face these advances from marriedmen not only at work but also outside work. She says, "I had so many malefriends earlier who got married. Now it is difficult to maintain the samefriendship with them because every time I ask them out for coffee or justsharing a conversation the way they used to before, I have to think twicebecause her spouse would not appreciate that. Secondly, today men are alsowanting a way out from the daily humdrum of life and so seek single womencompanions to share their everyday problems and in the process getinvolved."
  • 78. Shashank Rathod, a 40 year old businessman says that it is not always abouttrying to have a sexual relationship with a single woman. He says, "It neverstarts off that way. Initially, its just friendship but then regular meetingsand finding solace in each others company sometimes leads to sex. Youwatch movies, go out for coffee and take care of each other as friendsinitially but then the attraction increases and then you end up having arelationship."Married men are often accused of generally making advances at singlewomen under the excuse that they dont get any emotional support fromtheir wives and when it comes to freedom and enjoying life, its better donewith friends than their wives. Wives are also sometimes aware of this specialfriend her husband has and generally keeps quiet about it.Kruti Shah, a sociology professor feels that married men want variety in lifeand they seek such single women friends because they also want toenlighten up their bedroom life. They want to experiment sexually andhaving sex with just one partner is something that men dont reallyunderstand. She says, "There are married men everywhere looking foropportunity. There are few who will draw a line between friendship andattraction. Also, even if they want you as just a friend they are not willingto go out with you for coffee in public places, only talk on sms, talk late inthe night when their wives are asleep, and meet only at home when there isno one around. They can never share a friendship thats normal becausemost of the time they fear their wives will misunderstand them. So its nopoint being friends with a married man."Mostly, married men are asking their single friends out for dinner or a moviewhen their wife goes to her moms place on a holiday or are expecting ababy. This is the time when they are bored at home alone and looking forsome adventure with their single women friends. Says Dr Ashish Trivedi,"Single women should be aware of such selfish married men because theyare plenty. But having said that there are genuine friendships happening butvery few. You generally cant trust a married man much, asking you out for
  • 79. coffees and movies regularly without his wife being there."So then, when it is already difficult for single women to find a social life,she has to cut off from her good male pals also when they get married.Ishani says, "It is sad but it is better to find single men friends then befriends with some married guy who is forever thinking of his wifes reactionto the friendship or wanting to make indecent proposals later."Happy being single foreverThey are smart and funny. Wherever they go, they tend to strike a chord in womens hearts. Yet, theystay away from commitment and are happy being single and forever ready to mingle.That is just how they like it. Media professional Rahul Sharma says its great to be single. "Its cool asyou dont have to worry about being in a binding relationship. You have the freedom to do what youwant. And since youre not tied down to anyone, you have the opportunity to meet many women. Youcan use this opportunity to have a nice fling," he winks.Many men believe that being a bachelor allows them to be more expressive and live life to the fullest.IT professional Aneet Jhaveri is one such guy. "I like being single as you dont have the burden ofputting someone elses needs and desires before your own. I love to travel, and experience citiesthrough their nightlife and restaurants. I make it a point to visit cities within the country and abroad atleast once a year. I dont think I would have been able to do that if I was married with a wife and kids."For some, it is not so much a choice but simply a part of life. Marketing manager Rohit Kapoor is atypical single and available guy who loves hanging out with his friends at his favourite bar and has hadmany relationships. "I always knew that I wasnt the kind of person who would get into a seriousrelationship. I like it this way. And I have made some cool friends along the way."When Bryan Adams sang 18 Till I Die he would have hardly imagined that many guys would make it themotto of their lives. At least this is what seems when you speak to interior designer Akash Roy. Heenjoys being single, and says that its all about feeling young. "No one can say that being married with afamily is an easy task. Being single gives me the opportunity to live every single dream of mine and notworry about responsibilities. I can take risks, and I dont have to worry about ruining someone elseslife."While many people may shy away from the concept of bachelorhood always, these men are embracingthe joys of single hood happily.(Names have been changed to protect privacy)
  • 80. You know you are a great catch but cant figure out why you are are still single. Suggestions for whatyou could do to find a man.Okay, you really and surely want to be in a relationship but find yourself eating out alone? You knowyou are far better than anyone of them, yet they all have a boyfriend unlike you. You wouldnt haverealised it, but for all you know you could be engaging in a little self-sabotage when it comes to findingyour special someone . You could be giving the impression , "Im not interested," when you actuallyare.. So, heres how you could reach the "Im taken" status.Youre unconsciously ignoring your relationship needsMany people have a lot to do yet they are open to relationships and are more than willing to makespace for one. Some tell-tale signs: Every time someone extends an invitation your some unfinishedproject on your desk convinces you to say, "Not tonight, but once my workload lightens up, I will joinyou. Or, you find yourself saying things like, "Ill start really looking for someone once I get mypromotion/finances in order" (which, alas, may not be any time soon).Solution:You need to have an honest chat with yourself: Do you really want a romantic relationship in your liferight now? If yes, make at least one step toward carving out some space for it. Go out and meetfriends, sign into an online dating. And dont let a few bad dates drive you back to your workaholicways—once you have a good one and see what youve been missing, youll understand what all thehubbub is about.You dont think before you speakAgreed, in todays high-paced life you cant afford to waste time thinking whether the person is rightfor you or not. So, you give it three seconds to decide ! Like Leena Bajaj, a young executive with aprivate bank confesses, "It takes me just five seconds to decide if I want to have more conversationwith a guy or not." But the fact is most of us arent great at making a killer first impression . "It surecould explain why I havent had a date in a year," Leena continues. "I dont give men a chance to showme who they are. A little patience would probably help."Mens guide to spotting single womenThis is the season for single men to be out looking for lovely single girls. Thanks to everyone dressingup in an attractive and similar manner, it does become tough for the men to figure out who is who andif they are, at all, single!Wondering how to discover if the women you are interested in is single? Fox News has come up withseveral hints.Shes full of eye contact: If her eye contact is darting all over the room as if looking for potentialmates, you may be able to approach her because usually people who are already in a relationship dontbother to look around much.Shes making eye contact with you and smiling: Eye contact is usually one of the first signs of interest,and if shes making intense eye contact with you from across the bar, then chances are she wants you
  • 81. to head on over and give her a try.Shes talking to every guy in the bar: If you see her talking to many guys from a distance, it may meanthat shes open to conversation.She looks at other couples with sadness: If youre observing her from afar and you notice her looking atother couples, she could be longing for the days when she was once also attached.Her body language says it all: Body language says a lot about a person. If she is not single, then chancesare she wont be twirling her hair and touching other men ever so casually. Try to observe what herbody language is saying:Arms crossed, standing back: "Get away or Ill kick my heel in your face."Touches your arm or leg subtly or her own arm (she wants you to touch her): "Lets keep talking."Shes a chatterbox: If you start talking to a woman you work with, for example, and in one conversationshe tells you that she has a dog named Max, does a lot of cooking, goes to the gym every week, andtakes art lessons, chances are she doesnt have a man to come home to.Out with the girls... again: Single women tend to go out and have fun with their girlfriends. If you seethe same girl out with her friends more than once at the same bar, within a short period of time,chances are shes solo.She dances with other men: If the two of you frequent the same club and shes often seen dancing withdifferent men (but you know she came with the same group of female friends she always comes with),its likely that shes dancing to her own tune, unless her and her boyfriend have a very "open"relationship.Shes overly friendly: Generally women who are not single tend to be less friendly with other men. Ifyou notice that a woman is very sweet and friendly with most men she encounters, its possible thatshes single.Spot a single woman with stealth: You can always find out whether a woman is single by approachingher and asking for her number; she may say she already has a boyfriend, and whether or not thats trueis a toss up - but its always worth a try. Although its difficult to directly approach a woman, you canuse the aforementioned hints as clues to her status.No relationship is smooth sailing. As much as the love exists, arguments, however petty, are bound tocrop up occasionally. Whats important, however, is how you deal with them — let them simmer andboil out of control or nip them in the bud. If youve had an argument with your loved one, heres howto get things back on track.Let it go:Once the argument has died down, keep out of each others way for a while. Dont make snap decisionsor prolong the argument.Keep it frost-freeIt can be very tempting to want to freeze the other out by staying out of his/her way for as long aspossible. But remember, the longer you leave it, the harder it will be to start talking again.
  • 82. Calm downShouting and screaming will not help. Not only will it give you a sore throat, but youre also more likelyto say things you dont mean. So, stay calm.The blame gameThere are two sides to every argument. Trying to lay the blame on one person before the matter hasbeen fully discussed is pointless and can lead to more resentment.Dont get violentIf you think theres a chance that you or your partner are going to become violent during an argument,move out of there straight away.Walk awayIf your point isnt getting through, call a halt to the argument and give yourself some time to think overwhat to do next.Take a breakIf you feel your relationship is mostly made up of arguments and this is bringing you down, take a breakfrom the relationship if thats possible. Distance does make the heart grow fonder.Theyre famed as much for their work and talent as they are for their dark traits, then be it theirwomanising behaviour or for being moody, aggresive and tempremental. Yet theres something aboutsuch bad boys that makes them insanely likeable to the opposite sex. Check this out. Be it ShaneWarne or Salman Khan or Sanjay Dutt or Colin Farrell, they continue to enjoy an ever growing femalefan following.As most experts will tell you, women associate these bad traits with masculinity. From timeimmemorial, its been men like warriors, gladiators, soldiers, etc, whove set feminine pulses racing.The intersting thing about bad boy is that they exude a kind of untamed masculinity, confidence andindependence that women absolutely dig. And just like a womans feminine charms turn a man on, thisovert masculinity is almost like a natural aphrodisiac for the ladies."Some women love men with unconventional traits. Not only do these traits make them attractive, italso makes them more sexually appealing. Women get the feeling that these macho men can satisfythem better than the usual, run-of-the-mill kind of men will be able to," explains clinical psychologistSeema Hingorrany. According to her, these kind of men give women an adrenaline rush."That apart, bad boys are famous and these women find it enjoyable and exciting to be in theircompany and be known as their friends," Seema adds.Dr Kanan Khatau Chikhal, clinical and health psychologist says, "Most of these women who fall for thesekind of men are intimidated by the outside world. They are shy by nature and are instantly attracted tosomeone who can take on the world, protect them and take care of them."The interesting thing about bad boys is that they are a potent mix of confidence, indifference,mystery, intrigue and most importantly, excitement. Nothing they do is conventional or as per the rulebook. As for their women, these bad boy knows how to tell her just what she wants to hear.
  • 83. Seema, however, quickly warns that this fascination is just a passing phase and that as women matureand start thinking of long-term relationships and marriage, stability is the most important quality theylook for.Here are seven reasons why girls love bad boys:They are confidentYes, bad boys wouldnt be able to pull off half their antics if they werent brimming with confidence.The intersting this is that this attitude of confidence overflows into everything that they do, be it thefriends they make, the food they eat, the car or bike they drive, the way they drive, the way theyorder their drinks and even the way they talk to other women, even though the girlfriend may be just astep behind. And no matter what, such overt confidence is a major major turn on for women.They are indifferentThey just dont give a damn. Rule books are not applicable to them and when it comes to getting thingsdone, its either their way of the highway. You cant expect to change him, or set him straight as theymake their rules and believe that life is to be lived on the edge. Take it or leave it, thats the attitudethey flaunt and thats one reason why they fare so well with women.They are exciting and adventurousAmong the most prominent characteristics youd find abundantly in bad boys is their love forexcitement and adventure. According to them, if they arent living on the wild side, they arent livingat all. Bad boys are always testing the boundaries and pushing the envelope when it comes to their lifeand women just cant get enough of this attitude. They find it intriguing and extremely exciting. Andwhen you put exciting and adventurous beside the other rebellious traits, it sends women into a tizzy.They are challenging and mysteriousRemember, if your behaviour becomes routine, women are bound to find you boring. women dig menwho are a good challenge. As for the mysterious streak, contrary to popular belief that women love thetried and tested, the guessing game actually given them a high like no other.They are very masculineThis often goes hand-in-hand with being confident, indifferent, exciting, adventurous... etc. Bad boysare often rugged and in-control. That doesnt mean that they are controlling, they just know how to getwhat they want without breaking into a sweat. They speak clearly and confidently, they look you in theeye, they are passionate about what they believe in... but most importantly, they still know how totreat a lady and make her feel good.They give women a feeling of powerIts rightly said that the illusion of control is often more powerful than power itself. And when it comesto bad boys, they exude an air of power like no other, thus giving their women an air of strength and
  • 84. togetherness. Also, this power high does eventually rub off, even if just a bit, on their woman, too...and she laps it up!They know how to talk to womenOne of the main reasons why these macho men are such chick magnets is because they are soconfident, especially when it comes to chatting up females. They give out this dont give a damnattitude and are knowledgeable of almost every topic under the sun. Thats not all, they are not afraidof putting across their opinion or making their point. Most importantly, they know how to woo a womanand her feel good with words. Smooth-talkers, they can waltz their way in and out of situation is styleand panache and consequently set hearts racing.Some guys just dont know to approach a girl. What hurdles do they face?If you have passed out of college, here is a character you must have met sometime or theother. It is that of a guy who falls for a girl but doesnt know how to approach her. Withwobbly knees and besotted eyes, he waits for her at the bus stop, hoping that she wouldsmile at him for a nanosecond. If he bumps into her in the classroom, he starts getting uneasythe moment she starts chatting with some other guy. He is often bullied for being apermanent member of the club of universal brotherhood, that is, a guy who turns into everygirls brother because he fails to convert his crush into a relationship.What are his major problems?Imagining relationships: Whenever he falls for a girl – and he generally falls for too many girls– he tends to believe that she is in love with some other guy. Even if the girl has a casualconversation with a guy, our friend assumes that the two of them are on the verge of arelationship, if not in one already. That multiplies his hesitation manifold, and his emotionsremain unstated till the girl actually finds someone. And, that someone turns out to besomeone else.Ladies first: This character is a moron. Overconfident and suffering from megalomania, hebelieves that every second girl has the hots for him. He doesnt have the guts to propose, buttells the world that the girl should be the one who ought to come forward. That neverhappens, and he continues to vegetate.Too good: A victim of inferiority complex, this guy manages to pedestalise every girl he fallsfor. She is so good that she is beyond reach: that thought keeps his lips sealed, whether ornot the girl is a Meg Ryan lookalike. He continues to torment himself without making anyeffort to reach out. She, you are right, remains clueless.Everything in life takes some effort. So do relationships. Most seem to know that, barringthose who wait near the bus stop, hoping for that smile that means nothing.
  • 85. Simple gestures can impress your womanSimple gestures and a splash of romance can elicit smiles from your loved ones...Giving surprises to your loved ones can spice up the romance and reignite the passion in a relationship.Ask HR professional, Smita Jaisingh, who planned a love-filled surprise for her husband, who was goingthrough a busy time because of his travelling schedules. "That month, we hardly spent time together.Both of us were irritated and frustrated and the frequency of fights increased. I realized that the causeof our problem was lack of time. So, on our day off, instead of whining over the issues, I planned a dayout for the two of us. We went for a long drive, stopped by at our favourite joints and I surprised himwith a romantic dinner." A long chat and some love-filled moments really worked for Smita.Who doesnt like surprises? But when it comes to guys surprising girls, the fairer sex usually ends upwaiting endlessly. Finally, they directly ask their partner to plan a surprise for them. But Richa Jain, anIT professional, feels that whatever it is, a surprise is a surprise. "He is romantic. But when it comes togiving surprises, he is bad. I had told him many times, both directly and indirectly, about how much Iloved getting surprises. But, I always ended up being disappointed. Then one day, after a hectic day atwork, when I returned home, I saw that he had organised a little party for the two of us. Not only hadhe prepared a lavish dinner but also tidied the entire house. I really felt special and loved."Yes, surprises need not necessarily be planned for special occasions. Surprises add a feel good factorto your relationship; whether you are 18 or 80. And, a sudden surprise can turn your dull day bright. Asudden something under your spouses pillow, is enough to put a smile on his/her face. When you are ina relationship for years, sometimes love seems to fizzle out. During such occasions, surprises help inreviving a relationship.Dating tips for guys 1. Wear the right kind of after-shave lotion or perfume. But remember, not too much, not too less! 2. Though you would like her to think of you as a toughie so she feels protected in your presence. This particular attitude puts off a lot of girls. Most of the times guys are so consumed with acting macho that makes girls think you are not sensitive enough! So, take it easy! 3. Most of the men dont think they have to pay attention to the way they dress. Well...you may not want to apply make-up though some guys do but that doesnt mean you land up on your date just like that! Remember to shave and a neat haircut should make you presentable. Cmon ...all you guys want your partners to look their best so why not look presentable yourself. She wouldnt like going out with a shabbily dressed date herself, right? 4. Remember to complement your date. But it should be genuine! It could be her hair, her smile, her outfit, her lipstick, her sense of humor... or just about anything! After all shes YOUR date! Theres definitely something about this girl or you wouldnt be dating her in the first
  • 86. place, right? 5. Say their names every time you speak to them. It does make a person feel important. Having a pet name for them thought by you after a few dates together is a nice idea. It will make them feel special!Dumb women go after rich guys Women with low IQs are more likely than smarter women to go after rich men, according to a new research. Experts say that its not that women with a low IQ are naturally greedy, but they may instinctively be trying to line up financial security for their future kids. Study author Dr. Christine Stanik of University of Michigan told the Daily Mail that its only natural for poorly educated women with dismal job prospects to seek out rich men. "In ancient times, women evolved an attraction to men with wealth because they knew such a mate could improve the chances of their offsprings survival," the New York Daily News quoted Stanik as saying. "It is a very strong gut feeling that is hard to shake off, especially when a woman does not have her own career, which would give her financial independence," Stanik added. The research also revealed that smart women who are independently wealthy are more likely than dumb ones to have a short-term affair, a phenomenon that Stanik said was due to the womens heightened confidence.Men like dumb women for one-night-stands When it comes to finding a mate, gentlemen prefer a woman who looks dumb and sleepy enough for a one-night-stand, rather than look for charm and intelligence, according to a new study. In the study, University of Texas at Austin graduate student Cari Goetz and her team focused on the so-called sexual exploitability hypothesis, which is based on the different ways in which men and women approach reproduction. The goal of the study was to test out the hypothesis that a woman who appears silly or inert, or in other words more sexually exploitable, is a turn-on for the average straight man, the Daily Mail reported. In the evolutionary psychology sense, the word exploitable simply indicates that a
  • 87. woman is willing or can be more easily pressured into having sex.The researchers began testing their model by asking a large group of undergraduatestudents to nominate some specific actions, body postures, attitudes and personalitytraits that might signal vulnerability, such as exhaustion, intoxication, or lowintelligence.In the end, the participants of the study had produced a list of 88 signs that a womanmight by especially receptive to a mans advances.Next, Goetz and her colleagues scoured the Internet for publicly available images ofwomen displaying each of these 88 cues.Once they had pictures of women licking their lips, partying, wearing sexy clothing,etc., the researchers cross-checked them with a separate group of students whopresumed that the photos indeed matched the cues.The researchers then invited a fresh group of 76 male students and presented themwith the images of presumably ripe-for-the-picking women, asking them what theythought of each womans overall attractiveness, how easy it would be to exploit herusing anything from a pickup line to physical force, and her appeal to them as either ashort-term or a long-term partner.The study revealed that the images of fat or short women had no effect. Theparticipants of the study did not view them as either easy to bed or appealing aspartners.But when it came to reading the more psychological and contextual cues-pictures ofsilly or childish-looking women, or of women who looked sleepy or drunk, men ratedthem as being easy to score with.More importantly, the dumb-looking and inert women were also perceived as beingmore attractive than their more lucid or intelligent-looking peers, but only when itcame to short-term relationships.When the men were asked to judge the same liquored-up, silly-looking women in thephotos as potential girlfriends and wives, they had entirely lost their appeal on them.A follow-up study has also found that the more promiscuous men who happened also tohave deficiencies in personal empathy and warmth were the ones most attuned tofemale exploitability cues.An article describing the findings will soon be published in the journal Evolution andHuman Behaviour.
  • 88. 10 cruel things women do to men Despite being known as the fairer gender, women can be downright nasty and often do cruel things to men. Now, Fox News has compiled a list of top 10 cruel things that women do to men and how they play with the guy‘s emotions or ego. 10. They don’t pick up the phone While men feel good as they manage to take the girls‘ phone number, the girls often give them a fake number or don‘t pick up the call. 9. Use men for free drinks Some women go out never planning to spend any of their own money on drinks at the bar or club. Instead, they count on their feminine wiles to convince guys to shell out for their libations. While some of them might begin to get to know him, the cruel and heartless ones will take that drink, flirt a little and move on. 8. Use men as placeholders If she is a decent person, she‘ll just get it over with and dump the boy, but if she‘s cruel, she‘ll hold on to him for a while until somebody new comes along. These girls don‘t like to be alone and without a relationship, so instead of putting you out of your misery and ending it, she‘ll string you along until she meets someone to replace you. 7. Emotionally manipulate men Men don‘t like to see women cry and some cruel women take advantage of the fact and use it to get what they want. A few tears would make men do anything to get it to stop. 6. Use physical violence While men hitting girls are often termed nasty, some cruel women feel it‘s perfectly acceptable to hit their boyfriends, as he would never hit her back. This type of woman feels like she can inflict any kind physical pain on him without fear of repercussion. 5. Criticize their men in public Cruel women criticize and humiliate their men in public places. They often poke fun at her man or even soundly debase him. 4. They don’t disclose their relationship status It‘s certainly not the worst thing a woman could do to a man, but it is annoying when she‘s already in a relationship and lets you assume that she‘s available so that she can enjoy the man‘s flirtation and flattery. 3. They withhold sex This is a time-tested, and frequently used, cruel thing for women to do to men. For most men, sex is as important as breathing, so withholding it in order to get something she wants or simply to punish her man for his transgressions is a pretty awful thing to do, even if it is effective.
  • 89. 2. They test their men You‘re all ready to go for a night out with your friends, when your girlfriend calls and asks you to change your plans to be with her instead. She doesn‘t have any particular reason; she just wants to see you. She knows that you had plans to meet up with the guys, but if you really loved her, you‘d come over to her place instead. If her request comes with an "if you really loved me," then it‘s a test. If you choose anything other than immediately rushing to her side, you‘re going to fail. This kind of testing in a relationship is indeed cruel and petty. 1. They flirt to inspire jealousy Maybe she‘s feeling underappreciated, maybe you‘ve just had a big fight or maybe she just enjoys the tortured look on your face. For whatever reason, girls who flirt obviously with other guys in front of their boyfriends are immature and manipulative.10 things hes sure to notice about you Just the kind of drink you choose or what you wear can make a huge difference. We explain... Sunny smile: The way you smile can say a lot about the person you are. Make sure that if you are meeting a guy for the first time, you are don‘t come across as someone who‘s eager to please and therefore laughs at all his jokes a tad too enthusiastically. At the same time don‘t appear too stern by keep a serious face. Dress it up: What you wear is obviously one of the first things that a guy is likely to judge you on. Whether you are a tom boy or a girlie girl... it is all revealed by the way you dress and most guys will decide whether or not to make a move just by looking at the way you dress. Your drink: The best way to figure you out is by your drink. Your drink can demystify you within no time. Like, if you are a woman aged between 21 and 24 years having rum and coke, you may be thought to be someone who doesn‘t have an adventurous life. Can you talk? Don‘t try to fake interests where you have none. So, if the guy is talking about football and you have no clue about it, don‘t pretend to be an avid fan. Just tell him outright that it isn‘t your field of expertise. Hair scare: Are Plain Janes associated with a bun? The kind of hairstyle you sport is definitely going to leave an impression. An out-of-the-bed look is fine, but if your hair is downright messy then it can be a major turn off. Watch your cleavage: Yes, if he is a man he is bound to check out your cleavage. So, be aware of what you are projecting yourself to be. A buttoned-up shirt is likely to give you a conservative look, while showing off too much may make you seem like an easy girl. So know what you are showing. What’s in your bag? If your bag resembles a haversack, it‘s not going to be very appealing, you may not be high-maintenance, but if you keep bringing out stuff it may give a guy an
  • 90. impression that you are a hoarder or high-maintenance. Glam it up or tone it down: You don‘t need to look like an made-up doll if you are at a coffee shop, similarly don‘t look like you have had no time to even wash your face if you are at a party. Neither is appealing, and a guy is bound to notice. Clean it up: We are talking about your skin here. Guys don‘t notice things like a blemish on your face. But a fake tan or just an unwashed face can be a turn off. It‘s okay to not put on any make-up, but ensure that you look clean. Hold yourself: The way you sit or stand or move says a lot about you. Fidgeting too much in your seat is a clear indication of your nervousness, while sitting far too straight may make you seem a bit stressed. Relax, be calm and just be yourself.10 things women should know about mensbrains Having a tough time understanding whats going on in your mans mind? Things might just get easier for you, as experts have revealed ten things you should know about a mans brain. A mans brain varies tremendously over his lifetime. From his wandering eye to his desire to mate for life, there are some things every woman need to know about a man. According to Live Science, heres are the things you need to know about guys minds. 10. More emotional While females are generally considered the more emotional, infant boys are more emotionally reactive and expressive than infant girls, researchers have found. Adult men have slightly stronger emotional reactions, too-but only before they are aware of their feelings, found a 2008 study published in the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology . 9. More vulnerable to loneliness While loneliness can take a toll on everyones health and brain, older men seem particularly vulnerable, said Louann Brizendine, of the University of California, San Francisco, and author of The Male Brain. Men tend to reach out less than women, which exacerbates loneliness and the toll it takes on their brains social circuits, she said. 8. Focused on solutions While many studies suggest that women are more empathetic than men, Brizendine stressed this is not entirely true. The empathy system of the male brain does respond when someone is stressed or expressing a problem. But the "fix-it" region quickly takes
  • 91. over.7. Hard-wired to check out womenWhile often linked to aggression and hostility, testosterone is also the hormone of thelibido. And guys have six times the amount surging through their veins as women, saidPranjal Mehta, of the Columbia University in New York.Mehta and colleagues found that testosterone impairs the impulse-control region of thebrain. While it has yet to be studied, this may explain why, as Brizendine says, men oglewomen as if on "auto-pilot."They often forget about the woman once she is out of their visual field, said Brizendine.6. Must defend turf"Part of the male job, evolutionarily-speaking, is to defend turf," said Brizendine. Moreresearch is needed in humans but in other male mammals, the "defend my turf" brain areais larger than their female counterparts, she said.While women too have fits of possessiveness, men are much more likely to become violentwhen faced with a threat to their love life or territory, she said.5. Embraces chain of commandAn unstable hierarchy can cause men considerable anxiety, said Brizendine. But anestablished chain of command, such as that practiced by the military and many workplaces, reduces testosterone and curbs male aggression, she said.4. Matures over time, reallyPre-occupation with establishing pecking order, which starts as early as age 6, motivatesthe "male dance, where they are always putting each other down," added Brizendine."It is better to be aggressive in a verbal jab than to duke it out," she said.Psychological studies have shown that one-upmanship holds less appeal for older men.Instead, they pay more attention to relationships and bettering the community, saidBrizendine.The change is likely aided by the slow natural decline in testosterone as a man ages.3. Primed for fatherhoodThe male brain becomes especially primed for cooperation in the months before becominga father. Fathers-to-be go through hormone changes-prolactin goes up, testosterone goesdown-which likely encourage paternal behaviour, found a 2000 study in Evolution andHuman Behaviour.2. Daddy-playDaddy-specific ways of playing with their kids-more rough-housing, more spontaneity,
  • 92. more teasing-can help kids learn better, be more confidant, and prepare them for the real world, studies have shown. Also, involved dads lessen risky kids sexual behaviour. 1. Covets wedding bells, too Women want to settle down, and men want to sow their wild oats forever, the refrain usually goes. But this might be one of the largest misconceptions stemming from the U.S. tendency of using undergrads as test subjects. Infidelities are most likely to occur before men hit 30, found a study of Bolivian men published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society in 2007. After that, men primarily focus on providing for their families, the study found.Whats your love style? Research has conclusively proved that love comes in several different forms that can be further categorized. These few styles may be a blend of two or three styles! Love! Ah, what does one say - it‘s like a cool breeze on a hot, muggy summer night, a magical droplet from the sky, a warm kiss from a lover, a hug from a buddy. Although, the experience may be very divergent, what‘s certain is that love means different things to different people. Hues of love: How do I get this done love: Some people experience love as a game to be played with other people‘s emotions. The desire is to gain control over a partner through clever calculation. People who experience this kind of love have multiple love interests where they are in complete control. Lying, cheating and deception are common for these people as it is part of the game. For people who experience such love, it is satisfying to outwit a partner and exploit his or her weak spots. Madly, deeply, irrevocably in love: Some people experience love with a lot of passion, intimacy and intensity. Here the love has a strong sexual and emotional component. People who experience love this way want to be emotionally and physically close to their romantic partners and tend to idealize love. Such love is marked by passion as well as compassion (kindness and consideration). This kind of love is best viewed as romantic, passionate love - the type that creates excitement at the beginning of a new relationship. Obsessed, possessed love: For some people, love is being out of control! It turns one‘s life upside down and results in a complete loss of one‘s identity. People who experience this kind of love fall in love quickly, but their love tends to consume them, and is likely to burnout even before it gets the chance to mature. Such love is often marked by extreme delusions, rash decisions and vulnerability. Steady slow love: Some people experience love as a gradual and slow process. When love is like this, getting to know a potential partner comes before having intense feelings for that
  • 93. person. Falling in love requires genuine liking and understanding and it develops slowly over time. It is often compared to the love that one has for a friend. In fact, people who experience this kind of love often fall in love with their friends. Nurturing love: For some people, love is taking care of a person. It is the overwhelming desire to look after a partner like one would after a child or a parent. Such love is attentive, caring, compassionate and kind - an altruistic type of love. Logical love: However oxymoronic it may sound, but there are some people who take a practical approach to love. It is a clear-cut way of thinking based on common sense and reason. People who experience this kind of love tend to pick a ‗suitable‘ mate after much deliberation and thinking. Practical concerns underlie this type of love.55 Reasons why I love You 1) The way you stand by my side 2) The times you make sure nothing will harm me 3) How you always find a new way to "WoW" me 4) When Im sad, you take the pain away with a joke 5) How you always look deep into my eyes 6) How you can make my heart melt with your soft lips 7) The way you hold my hand so tight 8) The way you never let my hands go 8) How you always watch out for me 9) They way you make sure I have everything I need 10) How you always know what to say when I get mad at you 11) When you buy me things out of the blue 12) How you say the cutest things over and over and never gets old 13) The way you play with my hair when Im falling asleep 14) The way you stare at me as if I am the most handsome guy in the world! 15) The times when you where determind for me not to be mad at you anymore
  • 94. 16) The way you look when I get all dressed up17) The smile you give after Im done kissing you18) The way you act like a dork but make me laugh19) The way your not embarrased to say or do anything in front of me20) How you can just defend me and not be scared21) They way you walk when you get sad!!22) The look you make when you get jealous23) When Im feeling the worst, you make me feel the happiest24) The way you sing to be all cheesy25) How you can just drive hours to see me for a day26) How you always finish my sentences27) How your the only one who thinks im NOT weird28) How your the only one who gets my joke... and laughs29) The way we play stupid games, but you play anyways30) How I can never hate you31) How you love me like no other32) The way you touch me as if I might break33) How you tell me long stories that have no meaning, but you know Ill listen anyway34) How you listen to me talk for hours35) How you forgive me when I do wrong36) How you hardly ever get mad at me37) The way you look after I say I love you38) How times it seems like were the only ones here39) the way your not embarrased to call me sweet things in front of anyone
  • 95. 40) The way you call me every freakin minute 41) The way you always find a way to see me or talk to me 42) How you put ME before you friends 43) How you would do anything I say 44) The way you get my attention 45) The way I turn you on, without me doing anything 46) How you can just speak your mind 47) How your not afraid to tell me your feelings 48) How you can cry in front of me with out being shy or embarassed 49) How you can diss parties to just stay home with me all night 50) How we talk on the phone all night 51) How we both get along so well 52) The way you spend all your money to buy calling cards for me 53) The way were so much alike!! 54) How you make me feel when I think Im nothing 55) the way you inspire me with your thoughts and emotions!!!!Tips to woo women in style Though a tad coquettish, the lady standing across the hall has been giving you ‗the eye‘. Not only is she gorgeous, people around her seem enthralled by her intelligence too. The flirt in you takes over, but how do you make the first move? Hear it from Milind Soman, a connoisseur of sorts, on attracting the girl of your current dreams. CLEAR INTENTIONS Earlier, I used to get carried away easily. While never intending to be unfaithful to my girlfriend, I would go ahead and flirt with other women. This would upset my girlfriend, but now I‘ve realised that I showed complete lack of respect towards her feelings. While
  • 96. flirting is fun, it is best to know your own intentions because someone else‘s feelings are involved. If you initiate, also know where to finally draw the line by subtly communicating your intentions to the other. Both you and your flirting partner may be in relationships. If you don‘t want to jeopardise yours, the truth needs to come out. Without sounding defensive, let her know that though you are flirting, you‘re well grounded in your relationship. SLOW AND STEADY The fun is in the anticipation, in watching how long the undercurrents last. Long chats over the internet or SMSes prior to meeting the person heighten that sense of thrill. You can‘t add chronology to flirting but for starters, if you find someone attractive, start with eye contact. Be conscious of your body language and if a conversation follows, never intrude her personal space. Let things take their own course. HONESTY helps The only error in judgment that the other person might make is in understanding how far you will go, if the flirting takes on a sexual overtone. Erroneous judgments aren‘t completely unavoidable. While the fun lies in fooling each other about what will happen next, don‘t get personal. If she snubs you, a quick remedy is offering personal information, which will put her at ease because you‘d seem vulnerable then. Honesty sets the power equations straight. Alternately, if someone comes on to you too fast and makes you uncomfortable, understand her intentions. If the ―transgressor‖ is smart with the response, trust me, it‘ll only make things more interesting! LET YOUR EYES TALK Eye contact is the first step. It should ideally communicate only a definite appreciation of the other and tempt her to respond. At times, the language of your eyes and expressions is so telling that a conversation seems redundant. Wit and a greater understanding of each other‘s minds takes flirting to another level. Body contact follows next. But, it‘s very difficult to have innocuous or non-sensual body contact. A pat on the shoulder is seemingly neutral, but it doesn‘t take long to reach the woman‘s hair or neck. Move ahead only when both people can handle the excitement of casual body contact. A phrase like ‗flirting with danger‘ exists for obvious reasons! SPONTANEITY ace Nowadays, it would not be taken amiss if you suggested you should meet again. When in a good mood, I flirt with people spontaneously. To me, flirting has no obvious or necessary sexual connotations. I can flirt with anyone; age is of no consequence because flirting is all about feeling good about yourself and attempting to mirror that feeling in others around you. Who cares about society? Life is too short. If you like somebody, show it!Predict the fate of your marriage Always thought newlyweds who yell or call each other names are bound to get divorced in the near future?
  • 97. Well, apart from this there are other fighting patterns that can also lead couples to legallypart ways, says a new University of Michigan study.A particularly toxic pattern is when one spouse deals with conflict constructively, by calmlydiscussing the situation, listening to their partners point of view, or trying hard to find outwhat their partner is feeling, for example—and the other spouse withdraws."This pattern seems to have a damaging effect on the longevity of marriage. Spouses whodeal with conflicts constructively may view their partners habit of withdrawing as a lack ofinvestment in the relationship rather than an attempt to cool down," said U-M researcherKira Birditt, first author of a study on marital conflict behaviours and implications fordivorce.Couples in which both spouses used constructive strategies had lower divorce rates, Birdittfound.The data are from the Early Years of Marriage Study, supported by funding from theNational Institute of Aging and the National Institute of Child Health and HumanDevelopment.It is one of the largest and longest research projects to look at patterns of marital conflict,with 373 couples interviewed four times over a 16-year period, starting the first year oftheir marriages.The study is also one of just a few to include a high enough proportion of Black couplesthat researchers can assess racial differences in conflict strategies and their effects.The researchers looked at how both individual behaviours and patterns of behaviourbetween partners affected the likelihood of divorce.They also examined whether behaviour changed over time, and whether there were racialor gender differences in behaviour patterns and outcomes.Astonishingly, the researchers found that 29 per cent of husband and 21 per cent of wivesreported having no conflicts at all in the first year of their marriage—1986.Nonetheless, 46 per cent of the couples had divorced by Year 16 of the study—2002.Interestingly, whether or not couples reported any conflict during the first year of marriagedid not affect whether they had divorced by the last year studied.Overall, husbands reported using more constructive behaviours and fewer destructivebehaviours than wives.But over time, wives were less likely to use destructive strategies or withdraw, whilehusbands use of these behaviours stayed the same through the years.
  • 98. "The problems that cause wives to withdraw or use destructive behaviors early in a marriage may be resolved over time. Or, relationships and the quality of relationships may be more central to womens lives than they are to men. As a result, over the course of marriage, women may be more likely to recognize that withdrawing from conflict or using destructive strategies is neither effective nor beneficial to the overall well-being and stability of their marriages," said Birditt. Birditt and colleagues found that black American couples were more likely to withdraw during conflicts than were white couples, although black couples were less likely to withdraw from conflict over time. The study has been published in the current issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family.Delay sex for a better marriage Today its common for couples to explore their sexual compatibility before making long-term plans together. But a new study sides with a delayed approach, in which people wait for a deep level of commitment before having sex. The study involves 2,035 married individuals who participated in a popular online marital assessment called "RELATE." From the assessments database, researchers selected a sample designed to match the demographics of the married American population. The extensive questionnaire includes the question "When did you become sexual in this relationship?" A statistical analysis showed the following benefits enjoyed by couples who waited until marriage compared to those who started having sex in the early part of their relationship: - Relationship stability was rated 22 per cent higher. - Relationship satisfaction was rated 20 per cent higher. - Sexual quality of the relationship was rated 15 per cent better. - Communication was rated 12 per cent better. - For couples in between – those that became sexually involved later in the relationship but prior to marriage the benefits were about half as strong. "Most research on the topic is focused on individuals experiences and not the timing within a relationship," said lead study author Dean Busby, a professor in Brigham Young Universitys School of Family Life.
  • 99. "Theres more to a relationship than sex, but we did find that those who waited longer were happier with the sexual aspect of their relationship," Busby added. "I think its because theyve learned to talk and have the skills to work with issues that come up." Sociologist Mark Regnerus of the University of Texas at Austin, who was not involved with this research, read the study and shared his take on the findings. "Couples who hit the honeymoon too early – that is, prioritize sex promptly at the outset of a relationship – often find their relationships underdeveloped when it comes to the qualities that make relationships stable and spouses reliable and trustworthy," said Regnerus, author of Premarital Sex in America, a book forthcoming from Oxford University Press. Because religious belief often plays a role for couples who choose to wait, Busby and his co-authors controlled for the influence of religious involvement in their analysis. "Regardless of religiosity, waiting helps the relationship form better communication processes, and these help improve long-term stability and relationship satisfaction," Busby said. The study appears in the American Psychological Associations Journal of Family Psychology.Top 10 ways to keep your girl interested How does one catch and keep the attention of a beautiful woman one has just met? Try not to be perplexed as by following these quick tips, you should stay on the right track... You met her for the first time when you were jogging in the park in your block and so was she. She had dropped her mobile somewhere and you had helped her hunt for it. Now that you are friends, you fear losing her to someone more suitable. Don‘t worry as here‘s a ready reckoner on how you could keep her interested in you – always! # 1 Improve yourself It‘s utterly delightful for a woman to meet someone who smells fresh, looks divine and is most articulate. Take out sometime to work on yourself. Invest in yourself – get an education on how to attract women naturally – and that‘ll do more than anything else to put you on the path to success with the woman you want. # 2 Re-align your body language Isn‘t it always the physicality of things? When you‘re approaching a woman, remember that
  • 100. your body language is more important than the words you use. Don‘t be submissive,apologetic body language and voice tones. Think about how youd act if you were the―selector‖ – if you wanted to find out if she‘s exceptional enough that you‘d want to get toknow her better, instead of you being concerned about whether or not shes going to likeyou.# 3 Know what to say ahead of timeYou wouldn‘t want to be tongue-tied in front of a woman. So think carefully about thedifferent ways you could start a conversation, pick your favourite, and mentally rehearseit. Most of the guys I know who are great with women use the simplest of simpleconversation starters. "Hi." "What are you drinking?" "Hey, are you from around here?" Irealize that these sound simple, and they are. But theyre so simple that theyre disarming.They dont come across as canned "pickup lines,‖ and they help you figure out very quicklyif the woman youre talking to is friendly.# 4 Be in chargeWhen you‘re out with a woman and you‘re teasing her, she might say: "Youre mean... Stopit!" or "I dont like that..." Usually it‘s because shes trying to see if she can control you,because she perceives that you are now taking control. When this happens, try shootingsomething back like: "Im glad you like it." This is confusing to them. Women may arguewith you, but deep down they will respect you and feel more attracted towards you.# 5 Three more dos and donts of body languageDo hold yourself upright; think of how youd hold yourself if you were the most confidentman in the world. Do move slowly, gesture slowly and speak slowly. This communicatescomfort and confidence. Do pause often. Stay cool, and pause if you need to in order tokeep your composure. Don‘t talk too fast or too much. This communicates that yourenervous (unless youre naturally a chatty guy). Don‘t break eye contact. At first, you needto maintain eye contact until she breaks it. This establishes, at an unconscious level, thatyoure not afraid. Practice these tips over and over again, and you‘ll notice a big differencein how women respond to you.# 6 Get numbers smoothlyIt might surprise you, but if the conversation is going well, a woman will often give you hernumber within a minute or two of meeting you. The secret is to ask correctly when you‘releaving. Ask her if she has e-mail, then when she says yes, tell her: ―Great, Im leaving, butId like to chat with you again. Here, write it down. And write your number there, too."Youll find that many of the women you ask will just give you their e-mail and number thateasily. The more you do it, the easier it gets.# 7 Be comfortable with awkward silencesMost guys get uncomfortable at some point during a date, and they begin to let theiremotions and insecurities get the best of them. They start to think, "Uh-oh. I need to dosomething to impress her, or say something to make her laugh or she wont like me.‖ If youbegin to feel this kind of thing happening, its probably time to do something. Get up, gofor a walk and move around. Tell a funny story about something that happened to youwhen you were a kid. Go to the store and look at magazines and make fun of famouspeople. Just do something! The thing that determines whether a silence was
  • 101. "uncomfortable" or not is what you do after the silence is over. If you act cool and casual, then it wont be a big deal. # 8 Forget the tricks Many guys think they need to use ―trickery‖ to figure out something important about a woman. Lets say youve placed a personal ad online, a cute woman replies, she sends you a picture, but it only shows her face – and youre interested in women who are tall and slim. Don‘t make the mistake of trying to figure out some slick way to get her to share how much she weighs without having to ask. Just e-mail her and say: "Hey, how tall are you and how much do you weigh? I really prefer women who are slim. Let me know.‖ Thats it. Be classy but direct and you‘ll get to where you want to go faster. # 9 Online attention The mistake men make online is writing normal, boring stuff and asking normal, boring questions. Instead, when you get a reply, e-mail and ask her for her number and tell her that youre swamped with a million messages from supermodels who keep bragging about how much money they have, and she needs to act fast or youll be gone. Do not, under any circumstances, talk about lame, normal stuff. This will give you an advantage over 90 per cent of the other men looking for women online. #10 Dont give in to tantrums Many women will test you by complaining about themselves. The next time this happens, take whatever she‘s saying and turn it up a notch. If she says: "My hair makes me look so ugly,‖ just reply, "You know, I wasnt going to say anything, but..." Remember, combine cocky with funny and you have an excellent chance of hitting her attraction buttons. If you really want to be bold, just say: "So, what am I going to get paid for babysitting tonight?" Or even better, "Did this stuff work on your dad? Why didnt he spank you more?"10 ways to get romantic this monsoon We share with you 10 ways to get romantic, despite the monsoon... Time for some music Bollywood movies and filmi songs come to your aid. Be it a sensuous song or a fun number, there‘s a song for every situation. Pull out that CD of romantic rain songs and listen to some good music together. Have a photo shoot If you can‘t get out of the house and listening to music isn‘t your cup of tea, you can definitely pull out your digi-cam and try out a photo session with your partner. Whether to make it a naughty or flirty session... well, that‘s up to you. So get clicking. Go bowling It may not seem like the most romantic thing to do, but for those couples who are really sporty, this could be an ideal way to spend some quality time together.
  • 102. Have a movie marathonThere‘s nothing more romantic than snuggling under a blanket and watching some niceromcoms on a rainy day. Bring out the romance with the help of Bollywood or Hollywoodclassics. You and your partner can take turns and pick the movies you want to see.Cook a romantic dinnerIf you aren‘t confident about your cooking abilities, then ordering something from a goodrestaurant can be an option too. But if you want to watch your purse, then whipping up ameal of your partner‘s choice can be a good option. Light some candles to get the romancegoing.Snuggle timeIf you are just not in the mood to watch a movie or read a book or get out of your home,then the perfect thing to do would be to spend your day in bed with your partner. It‘s notonly extremely romantic, but also cost effective. What better way to spice up a rainy day,right?If you thought the only benefit of sex was, well, pleasure, heres some news for you.Making love is good for adults. And making love regularly is even better! Not only does ithelp you sleep well, relieve stress and burn calories, there are several other reasons whyyou need to have sex more often.Improves cardiovascular healthA recent study says that men who have sex more than twice a week, had a lesser risk ofgetting a heart attack than men who had sex less than once a month.Relieves painIf youre using your headache as an excuse not to have sex, stop doing it. Just when youreabout to climax, the level of oxytocin, a hormone increases by five times. The release ofendorphins reduces aches and pains.Increases immunityRegular love making increases the bodys level of the immune-boosting antibodyimmunoglobulin A (IgA), which will make your body stronger against illnesses like thecommon cold and fever.Reduces stressStressed out with work or family problems? Dont let it affect your performance in thebedroom. Not only will having sex improve your mood, but a study has proved that folkswho indulge in regular bedroom activities can handle stress better and are happier peoplegenerally.Promotes longevityWhen one reaches a climax, a hormone called Dehydroepiandrosterone is released, whichimproves your immunity and repairs tissue and keeps the skin healthy. Men who have atleast two climaxes a week have live longer than men who have sex just once every few
  • 103. weeks.Increases blood circulationBecause your heart rate increases when youre having sex, fresh blood is supplied to yourorgans and cells. While used blood is removed, you also discard things from your body thatcause you to feel tired.You sleep betterNotice that just after you make love, the sleep you get thereafter is much more relaxed.Getting a good nights sleep will make you feel alert and healthy overall.Improves overall fitnessIf you find going to the gym mundane or working out at home a task, heres another way tohelp you lose the flab and keep in shape. Regular sex will do wonders for your waistline.Half an hour of love making burns more than 80 calories.Increases your levels of estrogen and testosteroneIn men, testosterone is what makes you more exciting in the sack. Not only will it make youfeel way better in bed, but it is also known to improve your muscles and bones, keeps yourheart healthy and a check on your cholesterol. Estrogen in women protects them againstheart disease and also determines a womans body scent.A study has found that the way one interacts with his or her partner in daily life can affectthe persons long-term mental and physical health.In one of the first studies to look at the longer term, Professor Angela Hicks investigatedthe physiological and emotional changes taking place in couples the day after conflictoccurred, specifically taking into account the differing styles of emotional attachmentbetween participating partners."We are interested in understanding links between romantic relationships and long termemotional and physical well-being. Our findings provide a powerful demonstration of howdaily interpersonal dealings affect mood and physiology across time," she said.Hicks study involved a sample of 39 participants in established co-habiting relationships,who were tested for the association between conflict (assessed with end-of-day diaries)and sleep disturbance, next-morning reports of negative affect on mood, and cortisolawakening response.Prior to testing, the emotional attachment styles of all participants were measuredaccording to how anxious they were in their relationship, and to what degree they avoidedemotional attachment.The study found that all participants across the sample as a whole experienced sleepdisruption after conflict, bearing out the adage "dont go to bed angry".There was however the greatest degree of sleep disruption amongst individuals who werehighly anxious in their relationship. The lowest degree of sleep disruption was found
  • 104. amongst individuals who strongly avoided emotional attachment.Conflict was also found to have repercussions for next-day mood. However, someparticipants found their mood negatively affected more than others.Individuals more at ease with emotional attachment found their mood was affected morethan individuals less comfortable being intimate with others.The researchers found no general association between conflict and the next morningcortisol awakening response (a physiological, stress-related preparation for the day ahead).Their findings showed a particular association only, amongst women who were highlyanxious in their relationships, whose cortisol response was significantly dampened on daysafter conflict.The results of this study have significant implications for the greater understanding of howroutine relationship experiences influence emotional and physical health over time."We already know from prior research that people in stable, happy marriages experiencebetter overall health than do those in more conflicted relationships," Hicks said."We can now further conclude from our current research that individuals who are ininsecure relationships are more vulnerable to longer-term health risks from conflict thanare others," she added.The study has been published in the journal Personal Relationships.If you think your romantic relationship is on the rocks, dont worry, for an expert hasoffered tips to keep it alive and happy."Keeping the love in a relationship is about understanding who the other partner is andworking extremely hard to keep the lines of communication open," said Josh Klapow, of theUniversity of Alabama at Birmingham.Klapow said a relationship is doomed if the communication is not there. "Very often its thelittle things, the daily hassles and decisions that couples need to make that lead to biggerproblems; learning to make decisions together is critical for the survival of yourrelationship," he said.Here are the five things Klapow recommends for making decisions together:Set a specific goal"What do each of you want? Make sure you are very specific. Eating dinner out is not aspecific goal. Going to a restaurant where you can get a steak, your partner can get grilledshrimp and you both can relax in a quiet booth is specific. The more specific you are thebetter."
  • 105. Monitor your discussion"As you are discussing the decision at hand, make sure you are staying on track. Oftencouples will start discussing a goal and stray to some other topic, which can lead tofrustration. So, if you notice yourself or your spouse getting off the subject, come back tothe specific goal."Arrange the situation for success"Decision making doesnt work well when someone is tired, hungry, short for time or pre-occupied with other activities. Before you start the discussion, make sure each of you is inthe right frame of mind and you have the time. If not, table the discussion as it is likely togo awry or fail."Recruit support from one another"A collective decision means that sometimes there will be compromise. If you are goinginto the discussion to win, then you are not making a collective decision; you are fighting abattle. Remind each other that you are a team and that you are in it to win collectively,not necessarily individually."Treat yourselves"Celebrate the success of a decision together. A hug, a celebratory reward, anything thatacknowledges that together you have accomplished this task will help keep you motivatedto make decisions together again." (ANI)Its natural instinct to move onto a new relationship after leaving a sour one behind.But in most cases, one looks for comfort, someones shoulder he or she can cry on. Andthats where, one confuses a rebound with a new relationship. Here are some tips todecipher if you are in a rebound relationship:- The most common sign is that you quickly rush into a new relationship just to get overyour ex. The pain of the previous relationship is too much to deal with and thus, youcannot get over your ex. Therefore, getting into a new relationship works as a form ofcatharsis.- One expects his or her new partner to possess the desirable qualities and traits that theirex lacked. Chances are that one begins to be demanding with regard to expectations fromtheir new partner.- Sometimes you expect your current partner to possess the same qualities and traits thatyou found desirable in your ex. For example, good culinary skills, taste in clothes etc.- You cant help but draw comparisons between your current partner and your ex. Thinkingis a different matter but saying it aloud is a sure shot sign that you are in a reboundrelationship.
  • 106. - At times, you enjoy doing things with your new partner but are somehow reluctant to getphysically intimate, unlike with your ex. This is another sign that you are unable to moveon.- Last but not the least, you are still in love with your ex but you either fail to realise thisor youre unable to accept the truth. You think more about your ex than your currentpartner.Lifes equations keep changing. Sometimes, unknowingly, owing tocircumstances we often tend to ignore the issues that come in theway.Before reaching a stage where there is no other alternative but tocall it a quit, giving time to think what is or what has been goingwrong can help one iron out the differences in a relationship.Particularly, in a man-woman relationship, there are many factorslike lack of spending quality time, inability to listen to the partner,lead to misunderstandings which may give rise to fracturesotherwise not warranted in a healthy relationships.There are certain things, which may not look as very significantfactors, but when paid attention to can act as buffers which willsave ones relationship.Here is how:1. Never look lost in things while your partner is saying somethingimportant. This may give rise to the feeling that you are leastinterested in listening to what he or she feels or that you dontthink his/her opinion counts much in your life.2. Ask for your partners opinion when in doubt. But if you think theadvice proves counterproductive to what your logic says, politelyconvey the same and explain without losing cool why you think yourviewpoint will be the ideal solution for the problem.3. Even if at the working hours, pay equal attention to the callsfrom your family. There must be some reason why someone very
  • 107. close to you wants to speak to you. If you think repeated calls comein the way of work, politely and affectionately explain why oneshould not do so without losing your cool.4. Gifts, parties, hangouts, food joints are alright. But there issomething more than just material pleasure. Get closer on anemotional level and see your relationship working wonders.5. Work towards physical compatibility. One does not just enter arelationship for the sake of fun. So share your likes and dislikes onthe bed and go ahead to make it a wonderful experience.By Navya Malini, TNNSex today has lost the plot and youngsters below 40 are beginning to feel the lackof excitement in todays age of hooking up and ziplessnessNobody needs to be seduced these days. While, to woo and be wooed, has longbeen consigned to history books, (read novels), the art of seduction too is amisnomer in the intimate getting together of two people.Erica Jong who coined the term ziplessness meaning sexual encounters free ofremorse and guilt, has asked the question Is sex less piquant when it is notforbidden? Considering Indias steady increase in population, sex itself may not bedead, but (again in the words of Erica) sexual passion may be on life support. Itsall out there in the open. Nothings a secret, nothings taboo. Its sex first and talklater for most youngsters who hook up every week almost with interestingpeople. Its not strange then that theres just no need to seduce anyone. The heartdoesnt miss a beat either, when she walks into the room!Couples and singles of all generations appear to be on a treadmill, looking for thenext thrill because the last one has just become boring. And, things only go downfrom here.No more taboos, no more thrillsThere are no more taboos in todays coupling. The others wife, husband;boyfriend; girlfriend; father; mother; daughter; son, everyones a potential partnerand if the setting and the alcohols right at the party, you can expect more that
  • 108. just the harmless flirt to hit on you. With regard to public display of privateemotions, its moral policing that brings about the check rather than any socio-cultural signposts. Society today accepts kissing and necking in public (and a lotmore at rave parties in Mangalore), so forgive me if holding hands doesnt send athrill up and down your spine and increase your heartrate 10-fold.Sex first, talk laterAccording to student counselor Prathna D, "When youngsters hook up these days, inseveral cases, theyre in bed within 12 hours of meeting each other. A night outthat doesnt end in sex is a lost cause for many. The morning-after may present adifferent truth, and both parties are more than okay to part ways if things dontquite spill over to Date Two. If it does go further, physical compatibility is what isresearched first before emotional compatibility.Law of diminishing marginal utilityAccording to experts, "Disillusionment with sex is not a trend, its biology. Ourbrains are designed to seek out novelty. The amount of novelty each of us seeksdepends on our own wiring and neurochemicals that activate that wiring. When wedont get enough novelty, we get bored. Even a diet of ice cream can get dull ifyoure having it everyday."The solutionThe solution may actually lie in abstinence; abstinence not for long, but justenough to rewire yourself to find excitement with the routine. Family counselorJason S says, "If the long road of sexual adventure has gotten weary and listless,and the scenery seems unchanged, maybe you need to get off the road and searchwithin. Take time off to think and find the one person you really enjoy being with.And, not just because of the sex, but because, say, you laugh best with her. Itstime to seek a deeper adventure. A journey of understanding yourself and yourpartner. The human brain is an amazing organ and can easily re-adjust the body tofind excitement even in the mundane, but this must be accompanied withemotions. Working on the love for the person, and setting out on an adventure indiscovering your partners personality may actually trigger the novelty factor andlight fires that had long been put out. When you set out on this new journey, youwill be amazed at how seduced your partner feels!"Enjoy the ride!A study has revealed that women are fast losing interest in sex. And this has been revealedby a number of 40-something men.
  • 109. Loss of Sexual Desire in women, or low sexual desire, is the most common sexual problemfor members of the fair sex and the major reason why they seek sex therapy. It affectsupto 33 per cent to 67 per cent of women, depending on how sexual desire is defined andreported. And men arent beyond this too. But since it only affects about half as many menas women, it is nowhere close to mens top sex problems.Loss of Sexual DesireSexual desire is one of the most difficult factors to define for the simple reason that it ismore psychological than physiological. Loss of Sexual Desire refers to a lack of interest insex for a prolonged period. Most women are conscious of this feeling. And unfortunately,many of these ladies dont like the idea of confessing it to their husbands.Normal in women?It is important to understand that the loss of Sexual Desire is not a disorder. How can it bea dysfunction if one-third of all women, no matter what their age, report that they loseinterest in sex? Low sexual desire is an understandable result of an imbalance in your life.It may root to your relationship, your stress, or simply, changes in your body.Secondly, just because loss of Sexual Desire in women is common, it doesnt mean you cantfix it.Even worse, losing interest in sex can mean you miss out on a lot more than simply one oflifes few non-fattening pleasures. It can begin to drain the passion out of the rest of yourlife, as well.Causes of loss of Sexual DesireBiology: Sex can have serious consequences for women - a baby for starters, to take careof for the next twenty years. Not surprising that females seem hard-wired to approach sexwith slightly less abandon than males do.Social conditioning : The messages women get from society with its double standards andattitudes towards sex, have a big affect on their sexual desire. Even with adult womenwhove been exposed to the Sex And The City culture, there is still a social conditioningprevalent that men are studs if they are sexual, while women are characterless.Quality of relationship: For women, desire is strongly elicited to the relationship. "If wedont talk and connect, we dont have sex," they often say. Its not what happens in thebedroom - their desire arises when they are interacting with their partner. If the quality ofthose intimate but non-sexual contacts arent being attended to, most women just wontfeel "in the mood."Hormones: Hormonal fluctuations with pregnancy, breast-feeding, and then withmenopause a little later in life all can lessen desire to some extent.Medications: Depression and the anti-depressants used to treat it can also inhibit desire.
  • 110. So also can certain blood pressure-lowering drugs. Conditions such as endometriosis,fibroids and thyroid disorders can also be a cause.Life stages: Life changes - especially the birth of a child - can cause a loss of Sexual Desirein women. It often occurs to women in their 20s with a child under five or six - their lack ofinterest doubles and triples. You dont need to be a rocket scientist to figure it out -physical stress and fatigue are also considered big factors.How important is experimentation in bed to keep the zing in the sexual lives of couplesalive?Be it behind the bike sheds or at the school disco, you are more likely toremember your first romantic kiss with your partner than even loosing yourvirginity.Scientists have claimed that most of us can recall 90 per cent of the details ofthe experience—a memory more vivid than losing their virginity, reports theDaily Mail .But, the art is so complex that scientist Sheril Kirshenbaum has written a bookabout it.In The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us, Kirshenbaum writesthat men see kissing "as a means to an end" and possibly with a "view toswapping other bodily fluids later",Women try to "extricate the significance of a relationship based on a single kissand often that leads to miscommunication."Men are more aggressive kissers, as they are trying to pass on a "testosteronebomb" to a lover.However, testosterone passed on during sessions of smaller but frequent kissesstays in the body longer, and can push a woman to falling in love more quickly.The author, a researcher at the University of Texas, measured the magneticcurrent in brains of men and women in response to images of people kissing.Purple rules when it comes to bedroom colour for sex, a survey claims.It found that couples with purple-themed bedrooms have sex on average more thanthree times a week, slightly ahead of those who prefer red, the Mirror reported.
  • 111. For those inspired by EL Jamess Fifty Shades of Grey, they would hardly make lovetwice a week.The survey of 2,000 adults by online retailer Littlewoods.com also found thatlovers who sleep on silk are active between the sheets 4.25 times a week - morethan anyone else.Those who prefer cotton average 2.72 sex sessions, nylon 2.35 and polyester 2.33."For years I have been telling British homeowners, a beige bedroom makes for abeige sex life. Thats one thing I wouldnt want to wish on anyone," the Mirrorquoted Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, Homes Style Expert for Littlewoods.com. assaying.And the sexiest combination is purple walls, lilac silk sheets and a violet duvetcover.The Littlewoods statistics revealed that couples adopting this heady mixture ofcolour and texture would have sex more than five times a week.Best bedroom colours in order: Purple, Red, Sky blue, Pink, Black, Navy blue,Yellow, Orange, Brown, White, Beige, Green, Grey.Wanting to make your sex life rocking? Well, then how about taking a shower together?Yes, you read it right.Gone are the days when men were shown in movies asking for the towel or bar soaps andthen trying to pull their ladies inside the bathroom, all efforts in vain though. Couplesseems to have come out of the closet now and entered the bathroom, for a good shower.Couples tell us how taking a shower together can actually help you not only have a goodsex but also build intimacy between each other."We actually have days fixed for a bubble bath together," excitedly adds Aruna. She furtheradds, "It is not like every time we bath together we ought to have sex but yes sometimeswe do end up having it. But yes, both of us feel that it is the best way to de-stressourselves. Also, we have this thing that we think of something new to do during thatsession. It is no doubt a lovely experience."But trying such a thing for the first time really needs a lot of thinking. "When my boyfriendfirst proposed to me this idea, I was taken aback. But then we made a deal of just havingfun within limits. I was also a bit shy since I was quite conscious of my body stats. But Ithink this has helped me a lot to bond with my boyfriend. We have opened up quite a lotafter the first time we took a shower together. It is fun but only if you trust someone," saysTanushree.Mehul, a working professional recently got his bathroom renovated with different
  • 112. equipment to add to the excitement. "I now have a mobile shower and got it converted intoa steam bathroom as my fiancee sometimes likes me to have sex with her in the bathroom.Although it was her idea, I have started liking it now. We also give each other a spongebath sometimes which is quite a turn on for her," he shares.You are born out of it. It is your creative energy. It can take you to enlightenment,says OshoDeva Agni, sexual energy is another name for your life force. The word sex has beenmuch maligned, especially by religious groups; but theres nothing wrong with it.Sexual energy is a natural energy: you are born out of it. It is your creative energy.When the painter paints or the poet composes or the musician plays or the dancerdances, these are all expressions of your life force. Not only are children born out ofyour sexual energy, but everything that man has created on the earth has come out ofsexual energy.Sexual energy can have many transformations: at the lowest, it is biological; at thehighest, it is spiritual. It has to be understood that all creative people are highlysexual. You can see the poets, you can see the painters, you can see the dancers. Thesame is true of mystics. Perhaps, they are the most sexual people in the world,because they are so full of life energy.Sexual powerBut sexual power is a totally different thing. Sexual power is politics. It is using yoursex to dominate people. Domination can be done in many ways: somebody dominatesbecause he has money, somebody dominates because he has physical strength,somebody dominates because he has knowledge, somebody dominates because he issmart enough to befool people and get their votes, and somebody can dominatethrough sexual power. One of the most beautiful women in the world was Cleopatra.She was a queen in Egypt. She used her power— her sex, her beauty, her charm — andremained the queen without ever taking her armies to fight with anybody. Sexualenergy should not be used as a political weapon.Spiritual potentialSexual energy is your potentiality for spiritual growth. You can become enlightenedbecause of your sexual energy. I have been searching for almost 35 years in all kinds ofbooks, strange scriptures from Tibet and Ladakh and China and Japan and India whichhas the greatest number of scriptures in the world, and I have been looking for onething: has there ever been an enlightened but impotent person? There is no recordedevidence anywhere... The impotent person has no life force; he is hollow. He cannotcreate anything.To create oneself as an enlightened being needs tremendous energy.Never use your sex as a commodity, as a strategy to dominate, because then you aredestroying the power that can take you to the highest peak of consciousness...And as you start moving upwards...the name of the ladder is meditation...sex becomes
  • 113. love, sex becomes compassion, and ultimately sex becomes the explosion of your innerbeing, the illumination, the awakening, the enlightenment.Sexual energy has to be understood naturally and helped through meditation to moveupwards towards silent spaces, to pass through your heart and reach to the seventhcentre at the highest point in your body...you will feel grateful towards the energy.Right now you feel only ashamed.(Abridged from The Great Pilgrimage: From Here to Here; Courtesy: Osho InternationalFoundation)Keeping your woman happy is just the beginning of changing your relationships for thebetter.Always be yourselfWoman are much more attracted to men who display a lot of self-confidence because menwho believe in themselves are oh so very sexy. You must have seen guys that are none tooattractive with a beautiful woman. This is because she is attracted to his self-esteem andpersonality, which actually make an ugly guy look attractive.Little things countIf you know she needs help with something, just do it without asking because she will feellike you really do notice what is going on and she will love you for it. Woman do notice andappreciate these things.Dont take her for grantedLet her know everyday, or at least whenever you are with her, that she is special to youand you want to be with her and no one else. It really is okay to look but dont make a bigdeal out of how stunning the woman at the next table is. A woman wants to feel like she isthe most beautiful in the room in your eyes, so if you want to keep your woman happy,make sure she feels that way.Make her laughWomen love men with a good sense of humour even though men seem to think that itsgood looks that attract a woman. If you can make a woman laugh, she will be much morelikely to feel connected to you.Be sensitiveTry to be aware of how she is feeling because unfortunately woman sometimes go throughsome emotional days. If you are sensitive to whatever she may be going through, she willbe aware of it and will definitely appreciate that you care enough to pay attention.There are some questions that you just dont have answers for. Relationship-wise, aquestion that has probably been around forever is - can a guy and a girl be justfriends? While there maybe five in every 10 people who disagree, rest assured, therewill be six out of ten who will agree. Looking for a middle ground? Enter thefakelationship.
  • 114. Confused? Well, an urban dictionary explains the phenomenon of a fakelationship as afriendship in which the guy and the girl talk, hang out, text, email ...well you get thedrift, on a regular basis. A slight alteration in the aforementioned schedule will makeeither party feel like a huge chunk of their lives is simply missing.Be warned, fakelationships dont involve hooking up or casual sex — in fact, most ofthem are quite platonic, but the emotional connect, the dependency upon the otherindividual in the fakelationship runs deep. It is sort of like there is that someone inyour life, yet you arent really going out with that person.If you are nodding your head in consent, you arent alone. Anita Shivdas, an aspiringphotographer explains, "Fakelationships are the easiest to get into, simply because youdont realize that you are in one! Most relationships, I am sure, everyone will agree,begin along the lines of a friendship. But I can admit that I have in fact, had a coupleof fakelationships. It seemed like such a great idea and it did work for me quite well.But then, when things got complicated, the situation became quite messy and althoughI hate to admit it, I was as emotionally invested as I would be in a real relationship."To be fair, a fakelationship necessarily need not be one all along and it can blossominto something that is real. "I ended up marrying the woman who I thought would neverbe anything more than a friend," says Karan Roy, a software engineer, who has beenmarried for five years now. "Sure, there was nothing known as a fakelationship backthen, but when I first met Priya (my wife), neither of us were ready for a relationship.However, we gradually found that we relied upon each others support and connectedmore on an emotional level first, rather than a physical level. Two years after gettingto know each other, getting married seemed like an excellent idea since we were socomfortable with each other," he reminisces.An instance where a fakelationship would most likely work, according to HarshiniKrishnan is probably when either one of the people involved in it is already married."Well in a way its true," she chuckles. "When you know you connect that well,emotionally, to someone and that someone happens to be married, naturally questionswill pop up. Suddenly it becomes imperative that you define the relationship and youneed to name it. In that case, fakelationship does in fact, save the day. It hashappened to me before!" she adds.Like all real relationships, fakelationships have the discretion of being fulfiling anddisappointing, enduring as well as brief at the same time. So the real question here ishow do you actually break up with someone you are not dating? Well, it may take twoto tango, but it takes just one to stop tangoing. The least that you can do is to walkaway from it with dignity. Stop answering his/her phone calls, emails, text messages...the works! Hang out with your real friends, yes; the same ones you ignored while youwere encompassed in your fakelationship. It will feel like a real relationship breakupbut hey, at least you got out of it when you wanted to.
  • 115. The fact remains that you have relationships with virtually everyone that you meet.Like Harishini says, "You have a relationship with your father, mother, brother, yourneighbour - they are just all different kinds. As long as you know what you are gettinginto and are ready to face the consequences, then the world is indeed your oyster."A woman going an extra mile to do something for her spouse or boyfriend is common. Butthat doesnt mean the men are being left behind. Men in the city are bringing a smile ontheir spouses faces with many personal, heartfelt gestures.Its the simple things that turn a frown into a smile. Pradeep PG, who is a marketingmanager in an IT company, decided to surprise his girlfriend with a special meal when shewas in a bad mood. "She loves Mexican food, and unfortunately, I am a very bad cook. But,I wanted to make her happy, so I tried my hand at cooking and made her favourite dish,Guacamole. She couldnt stop smiling when she saw me serving her the dish."While flowers, chocolates or a pretty gift is the usual way to go, software engineerPrashant Maskara decided to use his computer skills to show his love for his wife. he says,"On Valentines Day, I surprised my wife by making a website in her name. It containedeverything from her childhood to our anniversary. She was at a loss of words when she sawit. Now, she flaunts the site to everyone possible to show how happy and lucky she is."They say when a spouse argues with you, s/he does it out of love and concern. And takingthe first step makes all the difference. Sales manager Rohit Awasthi heeded his fiancesadvice after a small tiff. "As my work needs lot of running around, I never bothered aboutmy appearance. My fianc?, Roshini, was always unhappy with me for the same. So once, Iwent to the parlour and got a pedicure and manicure done. This soon became a ritual forme, and now, I go to the parlour every 15 days. It made her happy and I feel great too."And women are also surprised by their partners various efforts. Content writer PadmaPavithran recently saw a different side of her husband. "My husband hates sizzlers, and wenever go to any restaurant that serves them. But, to my surprise, he once took me to asizzler restaurant in Kalyani Nagar. While he might have not enjoyed it, he was happy tosee me enjoying my dinner. It was truly a beautiful and special evening for me."It is these special moments that help a couple come closer in their relationship. Accountmanager Shreysi Chandra tells us of the surprise her husband planned for her on thecompletion of their first month after their marriage. "My husband is not the kind of personto do something sweet and romantic. But that day, he secretly took a half day anddecorated our home with flowers, balloons and lights. He also put up a life-size poster ofhim and me on the wall. I was thrilled when I returned home to see it."A unique offering and a simple message of love is all it takes to bring two people closer.Every person falls in love with someone or the other but have you ever wonderedwhat keeps the relationship strong? Well, its the way you look at your partner.Scientists have confirmed that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder after finding
  • 116. that people rate their partners more attractive than strangers do.They also reported that this "positive illusion; about a partners hotness might helpkeep relationships stable, reports the Daily Mail.Earlier studies had suggested that people rated their partners as especially kindand intelligent compared with other people but it was not known if this positiveoutlook extended to physical looks.According to Livescience, researchers from the University of Groningen in TheNetherlands tested the idea with 70 heterosexual couples.All the volunteers had their photograph taken, then half of the couples filled out aquestionnaire about their ratings of their own attractiveness and their partnersattractiveness.Next, they filled out some dummy questionnaires about other topics to throw themoff the scent of the experimental question. After that, they got to look at thephoto of themselves and their partners taken at the beginning of the session andwere told to rate the attractiveness of both.The other couples completed the same process, but looked at the photos first.The results showed that both men and women consistently rated both their ownhotness and that of their partner higher than the strangers did.The researchers had thought that people might rate the photographs moreobjectively, since photos make awkward features hard to ignore, but that wasntthe case. Attractiveness ratings based on photos were only slightly lower thanattractiveness ratings based on peoples own memories.In this dream scenario, an increasing number of urban Indian couples are losing their sexlives to ambition and success.Youre finally earning a 6-digit salary, your careers on fast-track. Its tough but youremanaging to squeeze in a 45-minute workout three times a week. You also ran your firstmarathon this year- and cant wait for the next.In this dream scenario, fit in a forever blinking Blackberry, everyday pressures and aworking wife (that = work stress x 2) an increasing number of urban Indian couples arelosing their sex lives to ambition and success. Heres how you can avoid the trap...Remember when you first had a steady girlfriend you couldnt keep your hands off? Yoursingle mates envied your persistent public displays of affection and youd gloat over thosesneaky-quickies that followed. You hated parental restrictions for getting in the way of a
  • 117. five-minute under-the-shirt action and fantasised about a married life, minus the rules andpacked with lust. You thought this lust would last forever, didnt you?Now picture this reality. Youre home from a 12-hour workday and an hour-long commute tofind her on a conference-call, making throatslitting gestures to her absent boss while youcollapse in an exhausted heap on the couch. Forget your favourite wine, youre seriouslythinking about drinking a glass of milk every night, youve been told itll help you sleep.Sex? Shudder- youre almost praying for her to have a headache!It isnt an exaggeration to say the sex lives of urban couples is in crisis mode these days.Workplaces from hell, killer commutes, bills and loans, snarky colleagues and 24/7 cricketon ESPN, none of it is geared to make you feel sexy. Youre not alone.According to a recent survey in the US by the National Sleep Foundation, one in fourAmericans whore married/living with someone say theyre mostly too tired to have sex. "Iwould even say its an epidemic," said Peter Fraenkel, a New York-based couples therapist,in an interview to CBSs 48 Hours. Another survey reports that nearly half of all marriedcouples in the US have sex only between once and thrice a month.Yet, sex is a basic need and its critical to a relationship-not to mention, its a ton of fun!What you need, then, are ways to factor sex into your life without feeling youre ticking offanother task on your bottomless to-do list. Start here!1. Planning is underratedDo you show up at airports without booking a flight? No. Leave hotel reservations onvacation to chance? No. Hell, do you show up at a clients without an appointment? Naah.Fact is, planning pays big dividends. Yet, when it comes to sex, planning is consideredunexciting. Whats really unexciting, however, is the spontaneous sex youre never havingbut want to nonetheless.You dont have to detail every aspect of your sex lives ahead of time, but figuring out withyour partner how often you both ideally want sex, then working towards making time for it,is hardly rocket science. Theres no right and wrong frequency, just what works for the twoof you. "My wife and I have been married five years and recently we found we simplywerent getting it on for weeks.She was tired or I was, or we had social commitments that exhausted us post-work. Ipanicked-I mean, I was barely 30 and it looked like my sex life was over! We talked it overand have made a zero-tolerance rule ever since-Friday nights are ours alone. We dont go toparties, events or anywhere else. The only time the rule is broken is if one of us istravelling on work, or if eithers parents have anniversaries/birthdays," says RohanNadkarni, 31, a Mumbai-based commodities trader."Friends made fun of us in the beginning and there was whining when we didnt show up ata pals dinner or birthday, but over time everyone respects our choice. We go out to dinneror grab takeaways together-sometimes well stay in and cook, talk, open a bottle of wine.Its just the perfect, low-stress way to start a weekend. And most Fridays, were having sex!
  • 118. Sure, we know it ahead of time. But that only makes it better when, Friday evening Im driving home from work and I know what the evening-and the whole night- has in store," he laughs. Have kids? Make one day a week non-negotiable for the two of you, and ignore anyone who says otherwise. Kids who grow up with parents that act like a couple, not just mom-dad, are way likelier to have a positive view of relationships in the future.2. Stay edgy Weve all heard the homily about sex being between the ears and not between the legs; thats as true today as it was when you first heard it. Sex is the outcome of attraction, and attraction isnt a cactus plant-it wont grow on air and water alone. It needs all the signs you first showed when you started dating-you stayed fit, dressed hot, laughed often, surprised her, flirted with her publicly, held her hand or put your arm around her waist. You played footsie under tables and had private jokes that no-one else got. You made out in the car and sometimes at parties in the dark. Your connection was intimate, naughty, urgent. Sure, the urgency will recede, and the need to impress wont be allconsuming. And thats a good thing, it spells the end of initial insecurities about each other. What isnt good? Losing the intimacy that went with it. You can have one without the other, though. Touch each other, make certain gestures or conversations intimate instead of routine, and see how you can keep things simmering. "I read something in a magazine once that sounded so simple, I didnt see how it could matter," reveals Sanjukta Shankar, 27, Gurgaon-based interior designer whos been dating boyfriend Amit Jindal, 30, for five years. "It said touch each other even when theres no need to; like, if I wanted my boyfriend to give me the car keys, for instance, I should reach into his pocket for them instead of asking. So I did; we were at this bar with friends, and I deliberately slid my hands into the back pocket of his jeans to ostensibly get the keys. You will not believe how his eyes widened," she grins. "He was far more aware of me the rest of that evening." That awareness is what keeps you tuned into each other physically.3. If Arnab Goswami is the soundtrack to your bedroom encounters, it may explain why youre not in the mood very often. Sexy is a state of mind, even more so for women, whore very sensitive to atmosphere. No, that doesnt mean you turn into a sop with a frilly pink bedroom, but you certainly need to work at setting the tone for a relaxed, seductive space. A few small touches- chillout music, intimate lighting, a couple of candles-go a long way, with little effort. The bigger challenge? Keeping your bedroom a no-TV zone; ditto for laptops and other stress- inducing gadgets. As for the Blackberry? Keep it on silent and out of arms reach post 10pm if you want to have any kind of sex life at all! This isnt all psycho-babble. As early as 30 years ago, Alvin Toffler, legendary futurist, warned us of information overload in his bestselling book Future Shock. Arguing that the human brain has a fi nite ability to process information, he demonstrated that unless we consciously limit
  • 119. how much information we access every day, mental and physical stress are inevitable. And as research has repeatedly shown, the first thing to take a hit when stress strikes a couples life? Sex! To prevent your sex life from becoming a victim of information overload, consciously turn your bedroom into a purely leisure zone.4. Half the battle is won when you can get your mind primed to think about sex often, despite a stressed-out, packed schedule. A trick that works? Turn it into a creativity game with your partner. Have a sexy shelf/drawer (lockable, please, unless youd like to give a nosy maid the shock treatment) in your bedroom to aid creativity: Start with a variety of condoms; lube; a silk scarf; exciting DVDs or even literature; a sex toy or two, if that works for you. Agree that each of you needs to add elements to the shelf on a monthly basis; itll keep you both thinking of creative things you can use in the bedroom, and put sex front-and-centre on the agenda. "My girlfriend and I had great sex, but it was fairly typical," says Neeraj Dutt, 38, partner in a New Delhibased consulting fi rm. "Then, on a trip to Germany, I was transiting at Frankfurt airport and saw a naughty shop. I strolled in out of curiosity and it was, of course, a fetishists dream. The store attendants and other customers were so blase that it gave me the nerve to pick up a fun pair of handcuffs," he laughs. "To be honest, its been three months and we havent used them yet, but just bringing them home to Ritika (his girlfriend) has sparked things up hugely. We tease each other about how well use them; and who gets to go first." The benefits arent limited to the bedroom alone, though. "Sharing something quirky or intimate like this totally makes you closer, its like a dirty secret only the two of you know," says Neeraj. "Ritika and I have this innuendo thing going on, sometimes even in company, all based on the handcuffs, except no-one else gets the jokes but us. Its sexy and fun, and Im constantly amazed how one impulse buy has shaken things up so much for us." 10 romance tips for men, by Miranda Kerr Australian model Miranda Kerr has offered men ten tips on how they can have romantic harmony with their partners and continue doing so. Kerr, 27, told men‘s lifestyle website AskMen.com that usually it is the little things that count, and that no matter what, they should at all times be themselves and pay attention to their partner‘s needs. She also said that staying healthy, showing affection and a willingness to pamper are also attractive qualities in the eyes of the fairer sex. ―In my experience, it is the random small gestures that I find the most romantic,‖ the Sydney Morning Herald quoted her as telling the website. ―It could be something as simple as making me a cup of tea or being given a foot massage while we are watching a movie at home after a long day at work. If more men made an effort to do these little things for their partner throughout their everyday life they would be guaranteed to have a more romantic relationship,‖ she added.
  • 120. Kerr’s 10 romance tips :1. Treat her like a goddess2. Pamper her3. Be healthy4. Get a baby sitter5. Tell her she is beautiful and romance her6. Don‘t be afraid to show her love7. Know what you want8. Connect with her9. Listen to her10. Buy the right sizeWe clicked our tongues in deep shock when we found out how a woman had unceremoniouslykilled the child of her married lover (also her co- worker) in a fit of rage, just to get revenge.A couple of months ago, a top-level employee in a leading publishing house made headlines forhis controversial relationship with a co-worker. Both of the above instances are classicexamples of office romance, gone horribly wrong.Given the large number of hours we spend in our office, it is not surprising that many peopletoday look within the cubicles of their office for potential partners. In fact, if the results of arecent survey are to be believed, 25 per cent of workers who started an office relationship,ended up getting married to their partners. The same survey also suggested that about 41 percent of employees think that an office romance can jeopardise their career.So is it love actually, or mere fatal attraction? ―It is not just the physical attraction, but anemotional bond that brings two individuals together at the workplace,‖ says Ritesh K, asoftware engineer. ―The girl I dated in my previous office, was more than just a pretty thing.We bonded over a common love for movies and eventually found that we shared a lot of otherinterests too. But, somehow, it never worked out and things got so awkward that I finallyquit,‖ he says poignantly.The bigger problem regarding romance in the workplace may be what appears to be a growingtrend — relationships that are blossoming among employees who are married to someone else.―I fell in love with a married man who I worked with and it was disastrous,‖ admits Reshma, adesigner and single mother. ―Even though I knew I was being foolish, I couldn‘t help butcontinue the relationship. Eventually, I had to be treated for severe depression and I put in mypapers‖.In some cases, however, it doesn‘t merely end with one of the two involved quitting thepresent workplace. ―Even if one of them happens to be in a powerful position in theorganisation, the partner will make full use of the opportunity to cash in on the courtship andclimb the ranks,‖ opines Sheriff Ansari, a HR manager. And most often, it is the men inpowerful positions who face the music. ―Even when the relationship ends, these men would beforced to agree to the terms posed by their ex, primarily to hush up the whole affair,‖ he adds.
  • 121. Women, it seems, have it easier. ―It is a tad easier for women to play victim,‖ observes MridulaShankar, a merchandiser, ―I have seen many of my friends getting sympathy and attention thisway.‖ The bottomline is, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with seeing someone from yourworkplace. However, remember that you will be playing with fire. Be cautious and try tomaintain professionalism and integrity. You never know when things will spin out of control.Picking up the pieces :- Keep your dignity intact and keep it as professional as possible.- Stay discreet. Don‘t further add to the gossip circulating on your floor about why yourrelationship didn‘t work out.- Release some of the anger. Delete e-mails, phone numbers and text messages or just chuckpebbles into the sea — whatever gives your anger a physical form.- Worst case scenario — quit your job and start afresh elsewhere. Change is always good.- Forgo revenge. Thrashing his/her computer or causing him/her physical harm might seemextremely appealing, but it is up to you to be the better person. Don‘t stoop down to suchlevels.- If you are unable to cope with the depression, visit your therapist before you do somethingdrastic.Washington, Dec 01 (ANI): A new study has found that surgeons married to physicians face morechallenges in balancing their personal and professional lives than do surgeons whose partnerswork in a non-physician field or stay at home.The research focuses specifically on how surgeons fare in being partnered with other surgeons,with other (non-surgical) physicians, with non-physicians or with spouses who stay at home.The researchers used data from a large 2008 national survey of members of the AmericanCollege of Surgeons (ACS), and set out to find how surgeons in dual-physician relationshipsdiffer from other surgeons whose partners are not physicians in their demographics, practicecharacteristics, family lives, distress (ie, burnout, depression, and quality of life), and jobsatisfaction.They found that surgeons in dual physician relationships had a greater incidence of careerconflicts and work-home conflicts whereas surgeons partnered with fellow surgeons faced evengreater challenges in these areas than surgeons partnered with non-surgeon physicians.In addition, surgeons in dual-physician relationships were more likely to have depressivesymptoms and low mental quality of life than surgeons whose partners stayed home."To help facilitate the lives of dual-career couples, health care organizations should considercoordinated schedules, daycare provisions in the workplace, adjusted timelines for promotionand tenure, and planning for spousal employment during recruitment," said Liselotte N. Dyrbyeof Mayo Clinic College of Medicine in Rochester, Minnesota and the lead author of the study.The survey was completed by 7,905 members, of whom 7,120 (90 percent) were married or indomestic partnerships. Nearly half (3,471 of 7,120 or 48.8 percent) of surgeons partners did
  • 122. not work outside the home.Among the remaining 3,649 surgeons whose partner worked outside the home, 31.9 percent(1,165) indicated their partner was a fellow physician; nearly a third of the physician couples(335 of 1,165) were surgeon-surgeon couples.The study is published in the November issue of the Journal of the American College ofSurgeons. (ANI)When two people are dating we often hear about their puppy love, tiffs, both big and small butthe moment they get into a serious relationship, we barely get to know what‘s really going onin their life. We help you get an insight into the secret of modern marriages!The unspoken pressure on married couples to present a happy, healthy relationship to theouter world doesn‘t let anyone get a peek inside their real world. Admitting that you areunhappy can be seen as failure so people prefer to keep such details to themselves. Also, assoon as we experience a lull in our sex life, we assume that everyone else must be having moresex than we are. We found out five common issues that all married couples face...Sex can be boring, occasionallyTrue, sex can occasionally be messy, painful, boring and unwanted. Shares HR consultantDeepika Kapur, ―The first time we had boring sex, I was left shaken. I thought our chemistrywas over and now our sack sessions would never be good again. But I soon got over the fear.Our next sack session was one of the best that we ever had.‖One partner is always left cravingNo two people in a marriage have the same libido. One is always left craving for sex. Modernlife has also given way to new sexual pressures and expectations that can not always be met.Says consultant Hemant Sinha, ―I have always had a high sex drive. My wife and I havefantabulous sex but there are many times when I am craving for it and she‘s not in a mood.‖Sex drive disappears once in a whileThe reality is that a large number of couples experience sexual difficulties at some point oftime in their marriage. This is when their sex drive drops. Suggest sex therapist Payal Kapoor,―Instead of thinking how badly it reflects your feelings for the partner, concentrate on biggerissues that are making you feel disinterested in sex.‖ Payal goes on to add, ―Sometimesseparate beds can reignite the spark! It has helped many couples I have known. It breaks themonotony and makes them long for each other.‖Sexually unfaithful thoughts are commonSome people need constant reminders of how desirable and sexy they still look. When thatdoesn‘t happen, they look for admiration outside. And having sexually unfaithful thoughts arecommon. Someone rightly said, ‗Sex pulls you away but love gets you back!‘ Adds psychologistSeema Hingorani, ―It is human tendency to feel wanted. And when couples don‘t get it in theirmarriage, they seek it outside and such thoughts are common.‖Incessant fights are normalYou often wonder seeing a happy couple around you how they manage to be so in love, while
  • 123. you pull the trigger almost every second day. Do not feel guilty thinking you are the only onewho does it. All couples fight, and this is the rule!The woman in your life may give you her heart, soul and, of course, her body, but still theresa part of her being that shell never share with you ... stuff that makes her a mystery.Yes, your woman is a den of mysteries hinted to you in her sly smile, enigmatic laughter or thatsudden silence. She just pretends to be one, but is never an open book to you. Her deepestsecrets are what add to her charm ... but render you an outsider in her own ‗Secret Garden.Secrets of her unshared yearnings, cherished fantasies or for that matter, a secret lover fromthe past ...Heres a peep into those hidden secrets ... dig into them at your own risk!- I might just hate it when you sleep in that office shirt, but when you are away, I love tosnuggle up in your shirt because it smells of you.- Though I insist on paying the bill or sharing it in our initial dates, Ill find you cheap and sonon-chivalrous in case you dont insist on making the payment.- Long before we explored each others bodies, I had been fantasizing about being with you.That inhibition was only to get assured that you are all mine.- I do think about my ex-es and compare them to you. Mostly you win, but you are not allperfect.- ‗I dont care you call or not is pure pretence. In fact, I start waiting for your next call themoment one ends. Not just this, I eagerly want you to plan our next date even before thecurrent one ends. I might not show it. So, dont fret about looking desperate just call! The gaplooks like a lifetime to me.- During the initial days of our relationship, I used to save all our chat histories and your SMSesand read them again and again. Sometimes, made my friends read them, too.- The day you shared your password with me, digging into your chat records and mails was thefirst thing I did.- I would love to know what turns you on. Though, I know its going to be hilarious as Ive seenyour frequently-visited adult sites.- You dont have to be a ‗good boy with me all the time. I dont mind talking a little dirty.- You are my soul mate, but my ‗best friend is my confidante. From the size of your paycheque, bank account to the size of your other assets...she knows it all. So, till you are tellingher how much you love me alls fine. Remember shes my best friend and never yours.- You rightly blame me for bombarding you with so many questions. But, thats my way oftesting you. I judge and analyse you on every word, expression, action, e-mail or SMS you write
  • 124. to me or someone else. So, when I ask ―Do you fantasize about other women?,‖ the answer hasto be ―Why would I when I am with you?‖ So, better watch out!- I love to make you a little jealous as it makes me feel wanted. So the next time you spot meflirting with your friend, know that Im actually flirting with you through her.- Every time I fight with you is because I feel ignored. Dont get into your cocoon when Im bad.Just give me what Im fighting for – a little attention and Ill be all yours.- I love to get constant reminders of the much known fact that – you need me. So, whats theharm in dropping liners saying ‗You complete me or ‗Dont ever leave me alone ... ?- Last but not the least, irrespective of how independent and self-driven I am, how ever much Imay say that I dont need a man to be happy, but still I want you to take charge when we are inbed.A scenario such as this came into my life, not directly, however I played a role in helping myfriend who lost his wife to his best friend at the time, as a result of manipulation and blindtrust. This is not a made up story for the purposes of producing an article, I simply feltcompelled to share this story so others can take measures not to fall into the same trap.Steve and Michelle met when they were both 17 years old and went on to marry forging a 14year relationship. Steve was Michelles first real boyfriend and also her first sexual partner. Shehad never been involved in dating other singles until Steve come along. Steve and Michellewere like 2 peas in a pod and became as one making their relationship the envy of all theirmutual friends, of which there were many including myself. After leaving school, Steve,Michelle and our various friends would regularly socialize whether it be clubbing, bars orvisiting friends. There was never any sign of mis-trust or infidelity between Steve and Michelleand their bond seem to get tighter as the years went on. Throughout the years their friendswere dating other singles and were experimenting in the singles scene as most young peopledo. Steve and Michelle were content, they has found their respective soul mates.Tony, a mutual friend of ours and right from the start, was best friends with Steve and alsofairly close to Michelle. Tony held some sort of influence over the pair which grew as timeprogressed. Tony was rarely known to be dating other singles, instead the 3 of them would goeverywhere together and virtually lived in each others pockets. No-one really ever seriouslysuspected that anything romantic would ever eventuate between Tony and Michelle and the 3way bond was just excepted by their friends as the norm. No-one could ever conceive(including myself) that such a betrayal would ever be possible considering how close Steve andTony were.Towards the end of Steve and Michelles marriage, Tony and Michelle became very close friendswhich involved shopping together and other girly type activities like taking in a movie (withoutSteve) however Steve didnt mind he was happy for his wife and best friend to have foundfriendships that made them happy. So close was Tony entrenched in their lives, he seized onthis opportunity and gave Michelle all the things that he knew were lacking in her life andproceeded to fill the gaps. It was at this stage (later determined) an affair was imminent. Evenat that point though, the thought of betrayal was never under consideration, hence the
  • 125. manipulating influence Tony had over the pair. I for one can verify that Steve is no fool, ishighly intelligent and is very successful in other areas of his life. However he was no match forthe deceit and under handed blow his best mate was about to land on him.For the next few months Steve and Michelles relationship began to crumble as Tony now hadMichelle in his web but it was all the while still a very big secret. The day Steve and Michellesplit, Michelle broke off their marriage and put her decision down to the fact that they were nolonger getting along and made no mention of the fact the she and Tony had calculated theoutcome for many months.It was at this point that Steve, Michelle and Tonys friends started putting the pieces togetherhowever Steve was still blind to the real reason Michelle ended things. After the split, Tonycontinued to be friends with Steve and would flatly deny any rumors of his involvement withMichelle, which Steve, as always, blindly took his word placing unrelenting trust in his bestfriend. Over the next month or so Tony proceeded to twist the knife by concocting untruestories about Steve to further re-assure Michelle that she had done the right thing by leavingher husband for him. No-one is really sure just how long Tony had his sights set on Michelle,although alarm bells should have been raised due to the fact that Tony refrained from datingother people and didnt seem to actively pursue opportunities for dating other singles.As there were so many mutual friends, the truth was bound to come out. So I set upongathering the evidence to set Steve straight once and for all, and set him straight I did. Therewere also many lost mutual friendships as a result of Tonys betrayal and shows that somepeople will stop at nothing to satisfy their own desires and fantasies.Take this quiz to find out...Would you go out with a guy just because he pays you compliments?A) Of course, I like people who appreciate me.B) Not really. I would try to gauge if he‘s being genuine or not.C) Not at all, In fact I would keep away from that person.Someone asks out within 15 minutes of meeting you. You would...A) Wouldn‘t mind going out if he‘s been goodlooking guy and he‘s been flattering me.B) I would definitely want to know more about the guy.C) Run in the other direction...On the first date would you kiss the guy?A) Would depend on how well he has wooed me.B) No way. There has to be some kinds of protocol.C) He should consider himself lucky if I let him hold my hand.On your first date what would you dress code be?A) My new skimpy outfit. I always dress to impress.B )S o m e t h i n g comfortable that‘s not suggestive.C) Jeans and s n e a ke r s. That‘s my dress code.You are on the dance floor with you date, you would...
  • 126. A) Dance suggestively, just to make him aware how hot I am.B) Just have fun, without thinking too much about impressing anyone.C) Dance at an arm‘s length from the guy.Mostly As:It‘s good fun to be fun and flirty, but you are overdoing it. You need to relax and just be alittle chilled out. You need to set some kind of rules when it comes to things like kissing on thefirst date and the kind of clothes that you would opt for. You wouldn‘t want to send out thewrong signals and land yourself into a bad situation, right?Mostly Bs:You don‘t appear to be overtly eager to be out on a date, at the same time you are not closedto the idea of dating someone interesting. Allow yourself to be spontaneous. However, it seemsthat your dating fundas are in place. So don‘t hesitate to enjoy yourself when on a date.Mostly Cs:You need to loosen up big time. Yes there‘s nothing wrong with keeping a safe distance on yourfirst date, or not allowing the guy to kiss you the, but don‘t be out on the date because youhave to. If you don‘t enjoy being out on a date it‘s ok.A sexy set of lingerie might appear to be the most intimate gift for your girl, but buying it orrather buying the right kind of lingerie can be quite a daunting task.Particularly, if you wish to increase your intimacy with her, a wrong choice can do more harmthan good. After all, nothing can be as embarrassing for a girl than getting a sexy corset in asize thats way too small, or big, for her.So, if you want to avoid the untimely death of your relationship, better brush up your stylesense before going lingerie shopping for your girl. We bring you a few quick tips:Size and style rule the roost: The first step to avoid making a blooper is to know her actualsize and her taste. While buying a smaller size may cause her embarrassment, buying a largersize can give her an indication that you think she is bigger than what she actually is. So, it isalways better to do a little homework beforehand. Check out her lingerie drawers and examinethe labels where her size too will be mentioned.Similarly, having an idea about her style sense will be a big help. Buying a bold black corsetmay be a wrong choice for a girl who loves flowery lacey stuff. A bad choice can only make hercringe, so observe what she loves to flaunt when you get into some steamy action. If youmanage to get even a little close to what she loves, know that you have hit the jackpot. Afterall, finding her something she loves to flaunt is the greatest achievement for a man. So, let thetime be your guide!Shop for her body typeIf she is tall and slim: Garter belts cut the body horizontally and make your leggy lass appearall the more sexy. These belts accentuate the legs and highlight the curves in her body. Thesebelts form the basics of sexy lingerie and stand a rare chance of going wrong. Just make sure
  • 127. you buy complementing stockings, underwear and a bra to complete the set.If she has bigger assets and is well-endowed: Nothing works better to turn a big bust line intoa sexy cleavage than a corset. Not just that, it also takes attention away from her fuller tummyby giving it a flattening effect together with highlighting the waistline.If she is bigger and fulsome: If you think a tight fitting corset or bra will squeeze your fulsomebabe into a lesser size, you are heading into trouble. Rather than making her realise she is big,give her something that not only makes her feel comfy, but covers her rounds in the bestpossible way. A sexy negligee will do the best to hide all the sins. Something like a baby dollthats fitted at the bust and flairs down, her bum will not only accentuate her cleavage but willalso camouflage her big bottom. Go for dark colours as they have a slimming effect; nets andsee-through fabrics are absolute no-nos.If she is fit and athletic: Wanna make your tomboyish girl look sexy for a change? Boy shorts ina sexier style are what you must buy. Not only will they make her athel etic bod look curvier,they will also accentuate her well toned butt. Anything from a bra to a corset complements aboy short well. So go ahead and let your sporty babe pose sexy tonight.If she is shy: Not everyone is blessed with a girl who is confident enough of her body anddoesnt mind sporting even the most daring of lingerie styles. If your girl is not verycomfortable showing-off that tiny-miny underwear that you bought for her, just ease her byadding a satin robe. The robe will take away her hesitation and the satiny effect against herbody will make her feel sexy and sensual. And you never know what else it does to her mindand you might just get lucky!Points to ponder- Make sure what you buy doesnt accentuate or clings to a body part that she prefers to hide.For example a big tummy or thighs...you know your girl so better pick up something that flowsdown those areas making her look curvy.- Your aim should be to gift something that enhances her best assets.- Darker colours have a slimming look.- When it comes to fabric, cotton is a big no, as women prefer it for everyday use and as a giftoption, looks boring.- Lace, silk and satin are the safest bets. They look sensuous and feel beautiful on the skin too.- Go for lycra only if either your girl has a ten-on-ten figure or doesnt mind showing off thosebuldges. The fabric has a tendency to cling to the body.- Same goes for nets and see-through fabrics. Buy only if she is comfy carrying them.Make the sales woman your friend for a day, tell her your choice and let her help you find thebest piece for your princess.
  • 128. Wanna spice up your sex life? Indulge in some naughty fun by using edible lingerie as a post-dinner dessert!Probably one of the most mischievous discoveries of the time, edible undergarments are apt foradding that missing spunk to your love life.These luxury pieces come in different shapes, sizes and colours that suit one and all. And likeice-creams or sweets, edible lingerie is also available in a variety of yummy flavours. Thongsfor women as well as men, bras and undies - all come in edible varieties. The most popular andfavoured are the candy ones in bright colours made of fruit flavoured candy pieces. Whatsmore, these come with add-ons of chocolate or maple syrup! So, if red is your colour, go for astrawberry-flavoured red or if black turns you on, you can pick blackberry jelly. Fruit roll-upsare also pretty common. If you dislike the idea of eating fruit this way, but like the candy,candy sprinkles is the option for you. Those who savour the taste of burnt sugar can choosecaramel flavoured lingerie.Another hot favorite is the whipped cream variety. This too has a range of flavours like mango,litchee, strawberry, chocolate, honey and more. Treat for people with a sweet tooth, thecalorie conscious can choose from the healthy varieties such as cabbage, pumpkin or coconut.Are you a marshmallow lover? Pretty pink, white, green, yellow marshmallows stuck on sexywear are an irresistible combo. Gummy soft candies cut out in attractive shapes too lookinviting.You can also make your own edible lingerie. It is easy if you have the basic know-how ofsewing. For example; Marshmallows or candies can be simply pinned up using a white thread orapplying some whipped cream on your assets will make you ready for the future action! Youcan surprise your partner by gifting him one that you have made. Add a personal touch bychoosing fruits, candies and flavours keeping in mind your partners taste. Also, wearingmatching edible accessories like necklaces, belts or flavoured lotions will boost the effect.Here are ways to up the heat in the lovelymonsoons...Early morning sex surprise: Begin your day by surprising him! How about turning the tableand you playing the initiator in an early-morning romp before turkey and trimmings stuff youtwo?Massage time: The early morning steamy action must have left him tired. Its time to pamperhim a little. Go ahead turn your bathroom into a spa and arrange for a sexy massage for yourman. Get out those seasonal smelling lotions, candles and warm towels and let your hands dothe magic on his body. You never know, he may just want to return the favour!Yummy sexy breakfast: By the time the massage is over, the two of you will be tormentedwith hunger pangs. So, brace up for a yummy breakfast, prepared by the two of you together.Make sure you only have the most sensuous of food items on your plate for the day! You canalso try feeding each other sensual fruits like strawberries.Gifts galore: Gift time is not restricted to certain days of the year. What better way to surprise
  • 129. him in the afternoon by turning into a hot gift yourself? Drive him wild by wrapping yourself innothing but ribbons. Lace-up yourself in a sexy bra and knicker set and add the final touch withbows for him to untie later. Do you still say afternoons are boring?Text him sex: Just when he though it was all over for the day, send him a racy text messagehinting whats in store for the evening. The excitement isnt over yet!Rub of love: Keep the early evening for a refreshing bath. Rub each other with anything staringfrom yummy strawberry and chocolate sauces followed by a final rinse with sweet smellingbathing gels. All set for the eventful night.Its time to party: Set the mood for a really sexy party that includes just the two of you.Titillate him by dancing around in a sensuous party dress. Bring some more fun by adding astrip tease only for him.Dinner cant get sexier: The party is sure to leave you in some hot surprises between thesheets and of course hungry! So, instead of going out, order your favourite food at home andserve it on your body. Yes, you heard it right, blind fold your man and let him eat his food offyour hot bod!Good night surprise: Wrap up his eventful day by wearing proper, old-fashioned sexy, silkystockings and suspenders. Trust us, he will from now onwards only shower you with all you thestuff you have been craving for!A new survey has revealed the top 20 tricks women employ to make themselves feel seductive.A simple spray of favourite perfume comes top of the list for helping women feel sexy.A new hairdo and a happy smile also rank highly.Women also hailed settling down into a warm bath, showing off their well-maintained legs andwearing a push-up bra as quick fixes for achieving the "it" factor.The study commissioned by UKs health and beauty retailer, Superdrug, also revealed that theaverage woman only feels truly irresistible once a week - usually on a Saturday night."This poll clearly indicates that while women know exactly what they have to do in order tofeel sexy, they obviously arent doing it often enough," the Daily Express quoted Sara Wolversonof Superdrug as saying."Maintaining a beautiful, polished appearance can take time - something most busy womendont have enough of."But with a little bit of effort, such as a splash of scent, a pair of fluttering false lashes and abig smile, ladies can feel confident and incredible," she stated.The study of 2,000 women found more than half of those polled consider a simple spritz ofperfume was all it took to make them feel special.
  • 130. More than one third said a new hair colour or highlights made them feel sexy.The poll also revealed that women feel sexier if they spend hours getting ready.Other contributors to a sexy look include waxing, applying an all-over fake tan andstraightening or curling hair, exercising religiously, wearing a tight-fitting top, a short skirt andjewellery.Theres nothing nicer than those moments when you and your boyfriend or husband feel super-close and in love. The trick, of course, is to keep discovering new ways to stay in sync andexcited about each other as your relationship progresses.And recently, scientists have been turning up some fascinating findings. "All the latest researchis showing that real happiness and good relationships stem from micro-opportunities to connectsmall, sometimes fleeting instances when we experience positive emotions with anotherperson, says psychologist Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., author of Positivity. "These acts ofaffection make both of you feel open, creative, connected, and fulfilled. As a result, youcontinue to fall harder for each other, even if youve been together for years.This is a whole new way of thinking. In the past, many people approached love with a fix-it-when-its-broken mind-set. But since no couple is problem-free, focussing on tackling issues isfruitless and exhausting. Instead, relationship experts now say its more important to play upthe best parts of your bond in easy, everyday ways; like popping a towel in the dryer while hesin the shower so its waiting and warm for him, laughing at an inside joke, giving him a surprisesexy touch, and showing how much you appreciate him. Try the tips below and hell soon pickup the habit and do the same types of things for you.Celebrate good news in a big way.Give him a quarterbackstyle whack on the butt, open a bottle of bubbly, and ask for detailswhen he lands a client or aces the GMAT. A University of California at Santa Barbara studyfound that the best couples arent just supportive but also genuinely thrilled when good thingshappen to each other.Rave aboutthe new restaurant he picked for dinner.Challenge him to a race.A spontaneous sprint to the car or up the mall escalator instantly boosts your bond even thoughit might seem kiddish. Stimulating situations get couples feeling more in love, a Stony BrookUniversity study confirmed.Really thank him.If he helps you paint your bathroom, leave his favourite salty snack in the pantry.Defuse a fight.Calling him by his pet name in the heat of an argument cools things down, according to a studypublished in the Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology. Say something like "Baby, I hate
  • 131. fighting with you. Twosomes who find ways to break the tension feel closer after adisagreement and make up quicker.Mini-massage his neckin public, like when you walk up behind him at the bar. It creates an instant connection, andhe knows every guy there is thinking, hes a lucky bastard.Learn a funny joketo tell him later that night. Couples who tell him later that night. Couples who believe theyshare a similar sense of humour report higher rates of satisfaction.Secretly do hismost dreaded chore: take out the trash, match his clean socks, defunk his fridge. A ColumbiaUniversity study found that giving him a hand behind the scenes boosts his mood and feelingsfor you more than doing it out in the open.Play the What If?game. Take turns asking questions like "What if you won a game show thats giving out a tonneof money? or "What if you had only five days to live?Buy him some luckyunderwear for the big work meeting hes been stressing out over.While hes showering,steal his robe and towel...and anything else he can cover up with. Love thrives on sexy,mischievous deeds and the fact that you want to see him without clothes will reinforce hisdesire for you, thereby amping yours as well.Roughhouse with him.Wrestle him to the carpet, straddle him and tickle, nip, and kiss him all over. Adrenalineboosting activities enhance love, according to research from Stony Brook University.Without asking,swap his empty beer for a fresh one when hes watching the game.Help him be his best.If hes always wanted to learn Japanese, load his iPod with beginner lessons. Couplesresearchers call this the Michelangelo effect; like sculptors chipping away at a pile of rocks,great pairs help each other uncover their finest selves.Every once ina while, send him an e-mail stating a reason why hes awesome, like "Youre the best becauseyou know how I like my coffee.Hand himhis favourite section when you grab the newspaper first.Give him opportunities
  • 132. to shine. For example, if hes excellent at cricket, bring along a ball and bat for a pickup gamein the park. If hes a wine connoisseur, ask him to pick out the bottle at your birthday dinnerCheck him out.Stop and just look at him. Watch the way he moves. Listen to the sound of his voice. He doesnteven need to know youre counting up all the obscure things you love about him, like his sexy,sideways grin. Your happy, loving attitude has a ripple effect on the way you act around him,and hell feel it.Slide your handdown and graze his goods when you can tell hes had a hellish day. Your caress sends themessage that youre picking up his vibe but sparing him probing questions.While youre walkingdraw his arm around you. This triggers his protective, connective instincts.When you introduce him to friends or co-workers, highlight any recent impressiveaccomplishments of his.By Colleen RushBreaking up is never easy. And its even tougher for exes to be friends. But, if you have thesignal clear that you like being friends with the person, then its best to stick to the decision.Here are ways you can tell your partner when its time to take a step backward and get into thejust friends zone, without ruining it all.Talk it out: Its always good to discuss where your relationship is headed. Talk to yourgirlfriend/ boyfriend asking them the status. If they try and joke about it, be stern and makethem feel that what you are going to talk to them about is something serious. But dont scarethem out.Let them be priority: He/she has the right to be the first to know you are about to break up.Make sure you dont flaunt this news to your other friends (especially common friends) first.Find the right place and time to break the news. Dont be the harbinger of bad news at a badtime.Be clear: Make it a point to let him/her know that you have no problem with them as a personbut that youre better off as friends than as a couple. Also, if you want to, you can tell him/herthat youd like to remain acquainted.Listen: When you are talking to him/her and they would also want to put their point across,give them a chance to speak. And, make sure to listen to what they say. But if their onlymission is to to cry and make you change your mind, be strong enough to say no.Apologise if needed: If there are times you have hurt the person by your behaviour and actions,this is the right time to let them know you are sorry for hurtful things, that you may have doneknowingly or unknowingly.
  • 133. Lighten the moment: Breaking up is never easy, no matter what stage of relationship you arein. Dont ruin it by crying, sniffing and sobbing. Instead, talk about how you both will benefitfrom it. Say silly things like "Now you wont have to keep waiting endlessly for me". Also, makesure they dont misinterpret your intentions and thus, end up feeling hurt.Bid adieu in a positive manner: Leave without making things bitter. Say things like See yousoon or It was nice being with you. And if you really want it, make sure you stayacquaintances.Guys, heres your chance to know the seven sex secrets women wish their partner knewA good talk is a great aphrodisiacMany women find talk a great turn-on. For them, talking and feeling loved are very important.Good conversation during walks or while the couple is relaxing can be a great aphrodisiac. Aman could tell his woman how much he loves her, which acts as a reassurance that he is withher mentally during those intimate moments.Many women are anxious about their looksFor a couple that has been together for long, sometimes it is natural that women may feel thattheir partner may find them less alluring. Because of this some women undress only under thecover of darkness. Caring men can sense such anxieties. There is no need to lie and say shesgorgeous if she isnt, nor is there a need to say that she is not attractive anymore. One canalways appreciate and praise what you do find attractive.For a woman sex isnt separate from rest of her lifeOn the other hand, men tend to compartmentalise, feeling that stressful aspects of life can beparked mentally and separated from sexual activity. Women need good feelings andexperiences during the day to have satisfying sex. How her lover treats her out of bed, greatlyinfluences her response in bed. Inattentiveness, harsh language, rude tones, hurtful words, andcriticism can make it difficult for a woman to get involved, feel enthusiastic and be passionateduring sex.A Climax is not a necessityMany men feel that a good lover is one who can bring his woman to climactic sexualculmination. It is great to have such moments, but arent always essential. Many women feelpressure from partners and even from themselves to reach a climax. Sometimes instead ofreaching climaxes, women prefer to engage in just playing.Sex need not be a serious actPlayfulness is a great quality. Many men are far too serious about sex. They forget to laugh, beromantically mischievous, have fun. Playfulness and light-heartedness can make intimatemoments enjoyable and relaxing. This takes performance pressure off from both partners.Women cherish non-sexual touching and tendernessWomen love romance, cuddling, hand-holding and kissing. But many women complain that theirmen never do this except during playing. A woman should make her man realise the joy oftouching. As you give him a relaxing massage and stroke his face and hair tenderly, he starts
  • 134. experiencing the joy of this kind of non-sexual touching. Tell your man what makes you feelloved.Warm attention after sex is importantA womans need for tender moments goes beyond the actual sex. Some women complain thatmen fall asleep immediately after the act. It is true that when a man is having sex, hisendorphin level is very high. Almost immediately after climax, he goes through a refractoryphase where he loses his top gear and all his systems gear down. In females this phase happensgradually. However, if you dont like him falling asleep immediately, tell him without puttinghim down. Alternatively, let him sleep in your arms for a few minutes and gently wake him upafterwards.(Dr Rajan B Bhonsle, consultant in sexual medicine and counselor)Men reveal sex secrets that drive them wild. They maybe simple things women do mostunconsciously, but they are potent enough to have a man go up in smoke - thank heavens, notliterally!When it comes to sex and initial play, men think differently and so do women. What may workfor the goose, may not necessarily work for the gander as well, and so to have sex that isthrilling, memorable and completely au naturale for both, men let women onto their secretfantasies!Action: Pretend to not want to make-out. Keep your lips closed and clench your legs together.Effect: Once he notices that you are not kissing him back, he will realise you are up tosomething. His kiss will become passionate as he will try to pry your mouth open. Fighting for itbrings on an exhilarating primal instinct in men.Action: Have plenty of white tees. Wear them while working with water – watering the garden,washing the dishes and more.Effect: See-through, wet clothes are a real turn-on for men and they cant wait to pull them offyou.Action: A woman gliding her lips on the mouth of a bottle – whether its water or an aerateddrink.Effect: The touch of her lips on the bottle makes men go weak in the knees and theirimagination runs away with them, wishing those lips were on them.Action: While out shopping, take him along with the clothes you want to try on, into thechanging room, especially if you are buying lingerie.Effect: Hell love you for thinking on your feet!Action: Climb into bed looking very innocent, then do wonderfully unimaginably adorabledeeds.
  • 135. Effect: Looking pure and being devilish is a heady combination and every mans dream.Action: Do yoga and let your man watch.Effect: It can be the most exciting form of before play without touching each other.Action: Kiss the patch of skin in front of his ears.Effect: Its an exciting zone and he will quickly beg you for more.Action: When your man leans forward to kiss you, hold the back of his neck in your hands.Effect: Its a tender move and will definitely bring your bodies closer to each other.Action: Play with your mans chest often.Effect: Its another exciting zone. Tantalise him with light, feathery kisses to get the fireburning.Action: Whisper your mans name during the session.Effect: It can really turn up the heat!Having an affair with a co-worker, but fearing that it might land your job in trouble? Well,now you can hide that office romance by following only a few tips.Here is a set of guidelines on how to conceal your passionate office romp...Dont change your routineThe best way to conceal an office romance and cast a protective shell around your newrelationship is to maintain your schedule throughout the work day. Nothing should change.People always notice significant changes in routine, especially if theyre the gossipy officetypes, so avoid doing anything out of the ordinary. This means no lunches with your newpartner; especially if youve never been known to socialize with this person on a friendly basisbefore.Keep it to yourselfYou may have a few close friends at work with whom you really want to share the events ofyour recent hookup, but you cant give in to this urge. This is a very crucial rule to follow whenyou want to conceal an office romance. Dont brag to them in your office and send them awaywith a vow never to tell anyone. Its acceptable to tell friends or family who dont work in theoffice, but you better make damn sure they have no possible connection to your workplace.Dont document it
  • 136. There are a number of ways to conceal an office romance while communicating with your loveduring the workday. You might think you can get away with sending 100 e-mails back and forthevery day, but do not use your business address. Most companies have internal servers that cantrack any and all e-mails sent between employees, and if anybody over in IT happened to look,they would find more than enough evidence to convict.Restrict yourself to cell phone texts and voice mail; anything that has a chance of being seenby a co-worker isnt worth the risk.Avoid attending office social gatherings togetherWant to spice things up in the bedroom? Well, then turn your attention to a new book thatprovides tips on how to turn on your partner. Barbara and Allan Pease‘s new book aims atmaking love life even sexier, reports a British daily...According to the book, five rules for better sex and romance are:Women should initiate sex: The custom of a male approaching a female may not always workout, as men are often apprehensive of being rejected. Hence, the authors believe sometimesit‘s better if women initiate kinky things.Washing up can be an aphrodisiac: Men who do household chores seem sexier to women.Men need to dress to impress: A survey conducted by anthropologist John Townsend and GaryLevy from Syracuse University showed that expensive clothing can lure women. The polledwomen said they preferred having sex with men wearing smart suits, white shirts with designerties and expensive watches to those dressed in low status clothing, such as T-shirts and jeans,vests, baseball caps and a fast food restaurant uniform.Smart women often make bad love choices: Lot of studies have shown that smarter womenmake wrong choices when it comes to matters of the heart.Author of Success Intelligence, Dr Robert Holden insists that intelligent women waste theirtime analysing the true meaning of their relationships, instead of being open.Humour is an aphrodisiac: A good sense of humour always gives an edge to men when they hiton a woman.Flirtexting a.k.a. sexting has become the perfect tool to let a potential partner know whatsexactly on your mind, and that too without any hesitation.With exchanges like "XOXO" (hugs and kisses), "French" (French kiss), "IWSN" (I want sex now),"<3" (heart), or "LOML" (love of my life), the digital wireless communication is enablingpotential partners to make first impressions and helping couples rekindle the passion.According to Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, authors of "Flirtexting," text messagingis the most widely used mobile data service on the planet, reports Fox News.
  • 137. But, not everyone knows the proper textiquette of efficiently utilising their mobile phones forpleasure, and thus there are rules to this messaging madness.The seven rules of sexting are:1. Timing is everythingWhile it can be tempting to respond right away, being overly eager can be a turn off. This isespecially true for those just getting to know each other. Rein in your enthusiasm from time totime, using time as a tease in responding to certain text messages (TMs). This makes youappear laid back and easy-going. This increases the perception that youre fun to hang outwith, and more...2. Texting has a curfewKnow that if you TM somebody after 10 p.m., its considered a late-night booty call.3. Dont beat around the bushTMs can be easily misunderstood. People like them for the fact theyre succinct and direct. Youwant to flirt, and with that hint. Just dont be cryptic. These are supposed to be time-savingtitillations.4. Dont drink and textGetting drunk equals getting stupid. And while it can be funny, its not so sexy. So stick withsober messages.5. Avoid breaking major news via textTexting should not involve first professions of love, marriage proposals or the breaking of badnews.6. Discretion is the best optionIf youre sexting more than one person, do not leave your phone out while on a date. Do notcheck your phone in front of a date. Turn off your phone if you find yourself having a"sleepover."7. ProofreadAny TMs involving sexual encounters, especially those complemented by racy pictures, need tobe double-checked. It should be sent to the intended receiver.Want to spice things up in the bedroom? Well, then turn your attention to a new book thatprovides tips on how to turn on your partner. Barbara and Allan Pease‘s new book aims atmaking love life even sexier, reports a British daily...According to the book, five rules for better sex and romance are:Women should initiate sex: The custom of a male approaching a female may not always workout, as men are often apprehensive of being rejected. Hence, the authors believe sometimesit‘s better if women initiate kinky things.Washing up can be an aphrodisiac: Men who do household chores seem sexier to women.
  • 138. Men need to dress to impress: A survey conducted by anthropologist John Townsend and GaryLevy from Syracuse University showed that expensive clothing can lure women. The polledwomen said they preferred having sex with men wearing smart suits, white shirts with designerties and expensive watches to those dressed in low status clothing, such as T-shirts and jeans,vests, baseball caps and a fast food restaurant uniform.Smart women often make bad love choices: Lot of studies have shown that smarter womenmake wrong choices when it comes to matters of the heart.Author of Success Intelligence, Dr Robert Holden insists that intelligent women waste theirtime analysing the true meaning of their relationships, instead of being open.Humour is an aphrodisiac: A good sense of humour always gives an edge to men when they hiton a woman.Want to put the spark back in your romantic relationship? Start dating other couples, suggestsa new study.Romantic relationships often start out as enjoyable or even exciting, but sometimes maybecome routine and boring. A Wayne State University study has revealed that dating coupleswho integrate other couples into their social lives are more likely to have happy and satisfyingromantic relationships.Richard B. Slatcher, assistant professor of psychology in WSUs College of Liberal Arts andSciences and a resident of Birmingham, Mich., specializes in social and health psychology.His recent research suggested that spending quality time with other couples might be animportant way to improve long-term dating relationships.His study investigated 60 dating couples in a controlled laboratory setting. The object was tobetter understand how friendships between couples are formed, and to learn how thesefriendships affected each couples romantic relationship.Each couple was paired with another couple and given a set of questions to discuss as a group.Half of the groups were given high-disclosure questions intended to spark intense discussion,while the other half were given small-talk questions that focused on everyday, unemotionalactivities."In this study, we discovered that those couples who were placed in the "fast friends" group feltcloser to the couples they interacted with, and were more likely actually to meet up with themagain during the following month," said Slatcher. "We also learned that these same couples feltthat this friendship put a spark in their own relationships, and they felt much closer to theirromantic partners."The couples in the high-disclosure group reported greater increases in positive feelings afterthe intense interaction. They also felt the interaction was more novel and that they learnednew things about their romantic partner compared to couples in the small-talk group. In
  • 139. addition, one-third of the couples in the high-disclosure group contacted the other couple theymet in the study, while none of the couples in the small-talk group initiated contact with thecouple they had met."This study suggests that if your romantic relationship has a case of the doldrums, having funwith another couple may help make your own relationship more satisfying," said Slatcher.The study recently appeared in Personal Relationships.Yep, we thought only women had some of the most frigid melting points. If its your guy whostough to please, take a leaf out of his own book and draw out some weapons of massseduction!Fire upAlright, you know flowers wont do the trick and hes had oh-a-dozen chocolate boxes from youalready. And in any case, chocolate doesnt melt his heart. But an unexpected gift when its nothis birthday or your dating anniversary, surely will, at least somewhat. Better still; make it abasketful of his favorite things - his brand of poison, the latest gizmo hes set on and perhapshis kind of music. Keep your ammunition ready and fire as soon as he comes home!Hijack happyDrive over to his office (wear some femme fatale shades for added effect) and take him awaywithout a word. We know and you do too, that the surprise session planned out for theafternoon will be worth going through all the trouble and him delaying an appointment. Youdecide if its got to be a quick lunch somewhere close by or some stolen...you know what!Face offOne day, just drop by in your revamped avatar. He is bound to take notice. If youve alwaysbeen the jeans and tee shirt variety, get yourself some sexy spaghetti straps instead and ashort skirt maybe? If youre up to it, turn up in a sarong with Hawaiian style flowers foraccessories, at his apartment. Tell us if hes still pouring over annual reports.Strategic ambushingGet home before he does, and turn the lights off. Light some candles everywhere and strewflowers on the doorstep. The novelty of it all will get him going and you know youve ambushedyour target nicely enough.Killing him softlyThis can never go wrong, can it now? Drop some love notes where you know he will see, getsome sensuous music going and have a normal conversation about work when hes all mushedup. Watch the effect!Just try all these tips and get even your hard-to-please all crazy and panting over you!
  • 140. Men rarely divulge their secret desires to the women in their lives and thougheveryone has different needs and desires there are some moves and attitudes thatmost men want. Read on to find out what they are and then give him the time of hislife!Give some subtle suggestionsFor men (even though hes known you for a while now) a womans libidinous longingsare not always easy to decipher. If you drop some hints about what all you want andguide him along, he will love you for it.Trust us, the man who really loves you would love to please you in every way possible.So, talk to him and tell him if hes doing just what you wanted or if you want him tocontinue with something a little longer.Bowl him over with a wild moveDo something unexpected and wild when you both are at it. Something exciting thathe will not be able to forget soon. Make your session stand out by coming up withsignature moves. Work on pleasuring him in different ways.Offer the spice of varietyChange in speed, positions and pressure can really make the entire experience verydifferent. Whether it is the before play or the actual act, if there is variety he willnever really know what to expect and therefore it will help a great deal in revving uphis senses.Turn it on yourselfSince women take time to get turned on, men love women who can take thatresponsibility off them so that he can actually get to work. Though your man may loveto do all that he needs to in order to get you excited but he would definitely like it ifyou were already half-way there. Somehow the fact that you are already in an excitedstate is a huge thing for him.Spring a surpriseFor men it is a massive ego boost to know that you want him too. Surprising him with aspontaneous seduction act can really win him. He will not be likely to forget it in ahurry.Dont be scared to be naughtyDont hold back when you are with your guy. Yes, we know that you have this good-girl image that you hold sacred. Men like to see this other side of you when you arenot scared to break his good-girl image of you. They will never cause offense byactually asking you to do it. Just show him that you are really into him and want himas much as he wants you.
  • 141. Give him an eyefulLeaving something on your body, for him to remove can be very exciting. When youare at it just make sure you are near a mirror so that you can see yourselves in action.It can be hot.Get roughYes, he wants it rough at times and he would love it if you let him know that you wantit too. Bring out the beast in him and tell him you are having the time of your life.Take overSometimes men just want you to take over while he just lies down and enjoys. It is anultimate fantasy for them.Wear his fav lingerieShow him that you care by wearing his favourite lingerie.Dating tips for guys1. Wear the right kind of after-shave lotion or perfume. But remember, not too much, not too less! 2. Though you would like her to think of you as a toughie so she feels protected in your presence. This particular attitude puts off a lot of girls. Most of the times guys are so consumed with acting macho that makes girls think you are not sensitive enough! So, take it easy! 3. Most of the men dont think they have to pay attention to the way they dress. Well...you may not want to apply make-up though some guys do but that doesnt mean you land up on your date just like that! Remember to shave and a neat haircut should make you presentable. Cmon ...all you guys want your partners to look their best so why not look presentable yourself. She wouldnt like going out with a shabbily dressed date herself, right? 4. Remember to complement your date. But it should be genuine! It could be her hair, her smile, her outfit, her lipstick, her sense of humor... or just about anything! After all shes YOUR date! Theres definitely something about this girl or you wouldnt be dating her in the first place, right? 5. Say their names every time you speak to them. It does make a person feel important. Having a pet name for them thought by you after a few dates together is a nice idea. It will make them feel special! Flirting tips foe all 10. Flirting is all about attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!
  • 142. 9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the person youve got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the street, never to be seen again! 8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability. 7. Use props. Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you. Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent, a distinctive bag from your favorite store or an interesting book or newspaper. 6. Be the host. Change your behavior from the role of guest to host. You are not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee. 5. Make the first move. Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say hello! You can move closer to your perfect match online right now by contacting your perfect match for free. 4. Listen. You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you. Everyone loves to be heard.2. Eye contact. Make eye contact, but please look your partner in the eye gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away. Dont stare, its a turn off. 2. Compliment. Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise. The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed them. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When you receive a compliment the best response is merely to say Thank You! 1. Smile. It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable. A smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You will be a people magnet. Try it! One in ten women lie about the number of people theyve slept with to their new partner, a new study has revealed. The study found younger women are twice as likely to be economical with the truth when they meet a new bloke. But the biggest fib told by women covers the amount of money they spend on clothes, with 26 per cent glossing over the cost of their shopping sprees.
  • 143. 20 per cent of lasses said they had lied about their weight, whilesix percent claim to be younger than they really are, the Sunreported.But blokes can be even worse than the girls when it comes totelling porkies.The research found that men lie 650 times a year, compared to just537 fibs for women.The most common lies for the fellas are excuses for being late, orpretending theyll be home earlier than they will be.20 per cent of men admitted to lying about the amount of alcoholthey drank.One in five of us admit that we lie to save face, and a quarter saywe lie because we feel "interrogated" by friends and family.The study into why we lie was carried out to mark the DVD releaseof spy thriller Safe House, which stars Denzel Washington."The research shows Brits lie an extraordinary amount, about awide variety of things," a spokesman for the flick said."The main victims of our deception are those closest to us, withboth men and women most likely to lie to their other half."We may like to think were sparing them hurtful truths but most ofthe fibs are actually about saving face or trying to change the waypeople think about us," he added.Girls likelier to have unprotected first sexual encounter than boys: StudyWashington, Nov 9 (ANI): A study into adolescent sexual habits has revealed that femalesare more likely to have an unprotected first sexual encounter than their male counterparts.
  • 144. Nicole Weller, an Arizona State University graduate student, attempted to find answers toquestions like: Are adolescents more likely to have unprotected sex or protected sex? Areadolescents who know the risk of sexually transmitted diseases more likely to usecontraception?"This in particular was an interesting finding because males usually report that they arehaving more sex than females," she said."In general, the younger that you are when you have sex, the more at risk you are ofcontracting a sexually transmitted disease," Weller said.Analysis of data from the National Survey of Family Growth that has been conducted since1973, showed that young people are waiting longer than in the past to have a first sexualencounter, but the age at which people contract a sexually transmitted disease isdecreasing."Fifteen to 19-year-olds have the most sexually transmitted diseases," Weller said.She also found that African American males and females are more likely to haveunprotected sex than their peers.Further research that Weller will conduct on the subject includes looking at the differenttypes of contraception use since some methods prevent pregnancy; others prevent sexuallytransmitted diseases; and some such as condoms can prevent both.Another focus of her studies is if the type of relationship has an influence on the type ofcontraception used, whether it is a serious boyfriend-girlfriend relationship or a randomhook-up."Young people probably are not thinking about having children later. When you are young,youre not necessarily thinking of those future consequences." (ANI)Our brains process images of men and females differently and seemen as people and women as body parts, according to a new study.When casting our eyes upon an object, our brains either perceive it inits entirety or as a collection of its parts.The new study suggested that these two distinct cognitive processesalso are in play with our basic physical perceptions of men and women- and, importantly, provides clues as to why women are often thetargets of sexual objectification.The research found in a series of experiments that participants
  • 145. processed images of men and women in very different ways. Whenpresented with images of men, perceivers tended to rely more on"global" cognitive processing, the mental method in which a person isperceived as a whole. Meanwhile, images of women were more oftenthe subject of "local" cognitive processing, or the objectifyingperception of something as an assemblage of its various parts.The study is the first to link such cognitive processes toobjectification theory, said Sarah Gervais, assistant professor ofpsychology at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and the studys leadauthor."Local processing underlies the way we think about objects: houses,cars and so on. But global processing should prevent us from thatwhen it comes to people," Gervais said."We dont break people down to their parts - except when it comes towomen, which is really striking. Women were perceived in the sameways that objects are viewed," she explained.In the study, participants were randomly presented with dozens ofimages of fully clothed, average-looking men and women. Each personwas shown from head to knee, standing, with eyes focused on thecamera.After a brief pause, participants then saw two new images on theirscreen: One was unmodified and contained the original image, whilethe other was a slightly modified version of the original image thatcomprised a sexual body part. Participants then quickly indicatedwhich of the two images they had previously seen.The results were consistent: Womens sexual body parts were moreeasily recognized when presented in isolation than when they werepresented in the context of their entire bodies. But mens sexual bodyparts were recognized better when presented in the context of theirentire bodies than they were in isolation.
  • 146. "We cant just pin this on the men. Women are perceiving women thisway, too," Gervais said."It could be related to different motives. Men might be doing itbecause theyre interested in potential mates, while women may do itas more of a comparison with themselves. But what we do know isthat theyre both doing it," she noted.Would there be an antidote to a perceivers basic cognitive processesthat lead women to be reduced and objectified? Researchers saidsome of the studys results suggested so. When the experiment wasadjusted to create a condition where it was easier for participants toemploy "global" processing, the sexual body part recognition biasappeared to be alleviated. Women were more easily recognizable inthe context of their whole bodies instead of their various sexual bodyparts.Because the research presents the first direct evidence of the basic"global" vs. "local" framework, the authors said it could provide atheoretical path forward for more specific objectification work."Our findings suggest people fundamentally process women and mendifferently, but we are also showing that a very simple manipulationcounteracts this effect, and perceivers can be prompted to seewomen globally, just as they do men," Gervais said.The study has been published in the European Journal of SocialPsychology.We tell you ways to know what your man will be like in the sack (without evengoing there!)So you think youve found the man of your dreams? Hes tall, dark andhandsome, frets over you, gets you flowers every now and then and is lots offun to be with. Though most women wont admit it but as much as they lovebeing with the perfect guy they cant help but wondering if hes equally goodin bed. Before taking that next step, you do want to be sure that hes the guyfor you. Experts say that you dont need to keep wondering about how your
  • 147. man will perform between the sheets. His everyday behaviour itself will giveyou an indication of what hes like.Phone addict - Is your man constantly on his cell phone? While its great thathes quick on the phone, if hes spending more time with his gadgets than withyou, it cant be a good sign. Occasional texting and updating of socialnetworking sites is all right, but if your man is always on his phone, it means hehas less of a connection to you. This is a sure-fire sign that hes going to beeasily distracted in bed and the sex will be less satisfying.Grooming fanatic - All women love their man to be well-groomed. Soft hair, astubble thats in control and clean short nails all go a long way in making himall that more desirable. But if your man has taken the metrosexual fad a bit toofar and uses more hair gel, cream, body products or cosmetics than you do,then youre dating Mr Vain. And his obsession will extend right till the bedroom.A man who is overly conscious about his looks, will be self-absorbed sexually.You can bet that hell only be thinking of his wants rather than yours.Food matters - Dinner or meal-time with your lover should be fun with both ofyou sharing your dishes. However, if you notice your man refuses to share hisappetiser and thinks you shouldve ordered your own plate of fries, he may beungiving in other ways too. Men who refuse to share are more likely to bestubborn in bed. Youd want to think twice before continuing dating him.Dating a miser - Yes, all of us have different views when it comes to our moneyand how we want to spend it. If your significant other is the type who hardlyever tips at a restaurant or doesnt believe in ever picking up the tab, dontexpect much at home. Someone who is stingy outside, will be equally stingy inbed. So dont expect him to shower you with kisses and more. Also if hes acareless spender, he may be someone whos irresponsible in the sack. So watchout!Not fond of PDA - While everyone may not be comfortable with public displaysof affection, holding hands and putting your arm around the other personswaist never hurt anyone. Men who get easily embarrassed or stiff when theirgirlfriends show some affection, may have some serious issues when it comesto sex. It could be an indication that he is not very comfortable with his bodyor yours and may have trouble connecting physically. You can bet he wont be avery sensual lover.If youve been waiting for your man to pop up ‗Will you marry me?‘ or insisting he buys thatrock solid solitaire, its time you rethink your game plan. Follow our practical tips to getyour guy down on bended knees...
  • 148. 1. Dont talk about weddingsDont make it obvious that you are dying to be proposed to as chances are that your guy willrun a mile. So, every time you pass a wedding procession pretend to be irritated. If theresa wedding scene in a film you both are watching, yawn and if you go to a weddingtogether, complain about the length of the ceremony and the poor quality of food. Athome, keep saying, "I just hope youll never make me do that."2. Feel bad for engaged and married pairsWhen you meet up with your oldest pal whos got everything according to you - the house,the man and the kids -pretend that you guys are better off than them. On your way home,keep telling your man how you thought that they looked miserable and bored. Even if knowyou are lying to yourself - just keep telling your guy that you both are far happier thanthem. Hes bound to be surprised.3. Holiday with your girlfriendsDitch your man and head to an exotic destination with your gal pals. Save up and take thatdream holiday youve been vying for a long time. Now, even if you do spend every night in aram shackled resort talking about how much you miss your love, he wont know that. Lethim go green with envy thinking youre in indulgence heaven, getting hot and heavy withother eligible men.4. Keep your parents awayDont suggest he spend his Diwali holiday with your family. Let him enquire why he wasntinvited, then tell him, "Why trouble yourself honey!" This is likely to make him feel leftout, but at the same time it will make him wonder. Once he feels these two emotionsabout you, hell have no choice but to pin you down and beg you to be his eternal flame.5. Resist the temptation to move in with your guyYoure dying to stay over after that night of wild sex and never leave his cozy sex pad.Youve even made place in his medicine chest in the loo for your belongings, but womanremember moving in minus that commitment is just giving it too easy to your man. Heslikely to never ask for your hand, coz hes enjoying all the perks of marriage, minus theresponsibilities. So, keep that distance and keep him wanting more when you kiss himgoodnight at the door.If hitting all the so-called single spots isn’t helping you find your dream match, rethinkyour routine with some out-of-the-box guy-meeting tactics.1. Find your friends’ friends : Combine your love of online shopping with the best way tomeet eligible men —through friends, recommends Rachel Greenwald, author of Why HeDidnt Call You Back:1,000 Guys Reveal What They REALLY Thought About You After YourDate. Scroll through your friends‘ friends on social networking sites like Twitter orFacebook and play a game Greenwald calls, ―I Spy a Cute Guy.‖ Find someone intriguingwho‘s also single (check with your mutual friend if his profile is private)? Ask to beintroduced. ―Because Facebook isn‘t an official online dating site, the pressure is off,‖ shesays. ―You can get to know each other first as friends and go from there.‖
  • 149. 2. Brush up on current affairs : It‘s a good idea to make info-gathering an everyday partof your life—and not to impress guys (even though it‘s a fact that they like smart, wellinformed babes), but for your own IQ and confidence. Make news channels like Times Now,CNN or BBC your Internet home page, subscribe to political and news magazine that givesyou each week‘s news stories. You‘ll be able to strike up a conversation in no time.3. Twitter for love : Everyone seems to have been bitten by the Twitter bug. Now useTwitter for more than getting the lowdown of your friends‘ lives. Send a tweet on Fridayafternoon that you‘re meeting friends at your favorite watering hole for an impromptuhappy hour. Tell your followers to bring their friends. You‘re bound to meet new people,and even if they‘re not single, they might know someone to fix you up with later.‖4. Go Solo : It can feel odd to watch a movie by yourself or sit solo at a coffee shop, butmany happily attached women know that spending some time by yourself is a surefire wayto meet someone great, says Karrine Steffans, author of The Vixen Manual. So chill at aBarista with your laptop and a latte, take your dog for a long walk or treat yourself tolunch at an outdoor café—solo!5. Say Yes More Often : It can be tempting to cancel on a party invite if you‘re feelingpooped or dying to catch the new episode of your favourite show, but accepting an inviteor two each month that you‘d otherwise turn down can give your love life a life, saysBrenda Della Casa, author of Cinderella Was A liar: The Real Reason You Cannot Find (OrKeep) A Prince. Asked out by a guy who doesn‘t fit your dream definition? Just say yes!6. Recycle the single guys you know : Everyone knows interesting guys who aren‘t rightfor them (think your single best male pal, coworker or a former date who‘s now just afriend) but who might be right for someone else. Go ahead and guy-cycle. Organise a low-key get-together and recycle those great-but-not-for-you guys by inviting single women tothe party. Set a one-single-guy minimum, encouraging female guests to bring at least oneguy they‘d recommend to other girls. Then watch the sparks fly!7. Get sweaty!: Local sports clubs let you get in shape by playing softball, swimming,karate, tennis or any other sport you enjoy, and they‘re full of athletic, fun-loving guys.8. Learn how his stomach thinks : The best place to meet guys is at a busy restaurant atlunch. So head out more often for that lunch break at a popular eatery as there is always aline of cute guys around the corner. Apart from a heart meal, men feel these are perfectplaces to strike up a conversation.9. Make more female friends : The next time you walk into a party, don‘t scan the roomfor handsome men only, but rather seek out the most social, outgoing woman you can find.Get to know her and invite her for coffee. Chances are, if you were drawn to her, she‘llhave a lot of other friends—including male ones—who were drawn to the same qualities asyou.How does one catch and keep the attention of a beautiful woman one has just met? Try notto be perplexed as by following these quick tips, you should stay on the right track...
  • 150. You met her for the first time when you were jogging in the park in your block and so wasshe. She had dropped her mobile somewhere and you had helped her hunt for it. Now thatyou are friends, you fear losing her to someone more suitable. Don‘t worry as here‘s aready reckoner on how you could keep her interested in you – always!# 1 Improve yourselfIt‘s utterly delightful for a woman to meet someone who smells fresh, looks divine and ismost articulate. Take out sometime to work on yourself. Invest in yourself – get aneducation on how to attract women naturally – and that‘ll do more than anything else toput you on the path to success with the woman you want.# 2 Re-align your body languageIsn‘t it always the physicality of things? When you‘re approaching a woman, remember thatyour body language is more important than the words you use. Don‘t be submissive,apologetic body language and voice tones. Think about how youd act if you were the―selector‖ – if you wanted to find out if she‘s exceptional enough that you‘d want to get toknow her better, instead of you being concerned about whether or not shes going to likeyou.# 3 Know what to say ahead of timeYou wouldn‘t want to be tongue-tied in front of a woman. So think carefully about thedifferent ways you could start a conversation, pick your favourite, and mentally rehearseit. Most of the guys I know who are great with women use the simplest of simpleconversation starters. "Hi." "What are you drinking?" "Hey, are you from around here?" Irealize that these sound simple, and they are. But theyre so simple that theyre disarming.They dont come across as canned "pickup lines,‖ and they help you figure out very quicklyif the woman youre talking to is friendly.# 4 Be in chargeWhen you‘re out with a woman and you‘re teasing her, she might say: "Youre mean... Stopit!" or "I dont like that..." Usually it‘s because shes trying to see if she can control you,because she perceives that you are now taking control. When this happens, try shootingsomething back like: "Im glad you like it." This is confusing to them. Women may arguewith you, but deep down they will respect you and feel more attracted towards you.# 5 Three more dos and donts of body languageDo hold yourself upright; think of how youd hold yourself if you were the most confidentman in the world. Do move slowly, gesture slowly and speak slowly. This communicatescomfort and confidence. Do pause often. Stay cool, and pause if you need to in order tokeep your composure. Don‘t talk too fast or too much. This communicates that yourenervous (unless youre naturally a chatty guy). Don‘t break eye contact. At first, you needto maintain eye contact until she breaks it. This establishes, at an unconscious level, thatyoure not afraid. Practice these tips over and over again, and you‘ll notice a big differencein how women respond to you.# 6 Get numbers smoothlyIt might surprise you, but if the conversation is going well, a woman will often give you hernumber within a minute or two of meeting you. The secret is to ask correctly when you‘re
  • 151. leaving. Ask her if she has e-mail, then when she says yes, tell her: ―Great, Im leaving, butId like to chat with you again. Here, write it down. And write your number there, too."Youll find that many of the women you ask will just give you their e-mail and number thateasily. The more you do it, the easier it gets.# 7 Be comfortable with awkward silencesMost guys get uncomfortable at some point during a date, and they begin to let theiremotions and insecurities get the best of them. They start to think, "Uh-oh. I need to dosomething to impress her, or say something to make her laugh or she wont like me.‖ If youbegin to feel this kind of thing happening, its probably time to do something. Get up, gofor a walk and move around. Tell a funny story about something that happened to youwhen you were a kid. Go to the store and look at magazines and make fun of famouspeople. Just do something! The thing that determines whether a silence was"uncomfortable" or not is what you do after the silence is over. If you act cool and casual,then it wont be a big deal.# 8 Forget the tricksMany guys think they need to use ―trickery‖ to figure out something important about awoman. Lets say youve placed a personal ad online, a cute woman replies, she sends you apicture, but it only shows her face – and youre interested in women who are tall and slim.Don‘t make the mistake of trying to figure out some slick way to get her to share how muchshe weighs without having to ask. Just e-mail her and say: "Hey, how tall are you and howmuch do you weigh? I really prefer women who are slim. Let me know.‖ Thats it. Be classybut direct and you‘ll get to where you want to go faster.# 9 Online attentionThe mistake men make online is writing normal, boring stuff and asking normal, boringquestions. Instead, when you get a reply, e-mail and ask her for her number and tell herthat youre swamped with a million messages from supermodels who keep bragging abouthow much money they have, and she needs to act fast or youll be gone. Do not, under anycircumstances, talk about lame, normal stuff. This will give you an advantage over 90 percent of the other men looking for women online.#10 Dont give in to tantrumsMany women will test you by complaining about themselves. The next time this happens,take whatever she‘s saying and turn it up a notch. If she says: "My hair makes me look sougly,‖ just reply, "You know, I wasnt going to say anything, but..." Remember, combinecocky with funny and you have an excellent chance of hitting her attraction buttons. If youreally want to be bold, just say: "So, what am I going to get paid for babysitting tonight?"Or even better, "Did this stuff work on your dad? Why didnt he spank you more?"What does it take to be happy in a relationship? If you’re working to improve yourmarriage, here are a few habits of happy couples.1. Go to bed at the same timeRemember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn‘t wait to go to bed witheach other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at differenttimes. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things
  • 152. while their partner sleeps.2. Cultivate common interestsAfter the passion settles down, it‘s common to realise that you have few interests incommon. But don‘t minimise the importance of activities you can do together that youboth enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the sametime, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to yourmate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.3. Walk hand in hand or side by sideRather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walkcomfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it‘s more important to be with theirpartner than to see the sights along the way.4. Make trust and forgiveness your default modeIf and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can‘t resolve it, happycouples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrongIf you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you lookfor what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on whatyou want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after workOur skin has a memory of ―good touch‖ (loved), ―bad touch‖ (abused) and ―no touch‖(neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the ―good touch,‖which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morningThis is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each dayto battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feelThis tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still wantto be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than anysingle upsetting incident.9. Do a “weather” check during the dayCall your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great wayto adjust expectations so that you‘re more in sync when you connect after work. Forinstance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him orher to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.10. Be proud to be seen with your partnerHappy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionatecontact - hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showingoff but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
  • 153. Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behaviourthat you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of dailyrepetition of a new a behaviour to become a habit. So select one of the behaviours in thelist above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit...and make you happier as acouple. And if you fall off the wagon, don‘t despair, just apologize to your partner, asktheir forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.If there was one key to happiness in love and life, and possibly even success, it would be togo into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremostin your mind, "Just Listen."People with lower incomes value the institution of marriage just asmuch as those with higher incomes and have similar romanticstandards for marriage, a new study has revealed.The new research suggests that government initiatives to strengthenmarriage among low-income populations should move beyondpromoting the value of marriage and instead focus on the actualproblems that low-income couples face.The study, which analysed results from a survey of 6,012 people, wascarried out by Dr Thomas Trail and Dr Benjamin Karney from theUniversity of California Los Angeles.Although previous research has shown that divorce rates are higherand marriage rates are lower among low-income populations in theUS, the researchers found that on most measures low-incomerespondents held more traditional views towards marriage thanrespondents on higher incomes.Although low-income and high-income respondents reported similarromantic standards and similar problems with relationship processessuch as communication, low-income respondents were more likelythan affluent couples to report that their romantic relationships werenegatively affected by economic and social issues such as moneyproblems, drinking and drug use."Over the past 15 years, efforts to tackle declining marriage rates andincreasing divorce rates among low-income couples in the USA have
  • 154. been guided by assumptions about why there are fewer low-incomemarriages and why a higher percentage fail," Trail said."The aim of our study was to separate the myth from the reality," hesaid.Previous research has focused on specific low-income groups includingunmarried mothers and cohabiting couples with children.This study is the first to use a comprehensive survey to compare theattitudes and experiences of people from a range of incomes, and thefindings provide important new information about how similar peoplewith low- and high-incomes are in their values, standards, andexperiences of marriage.The researchers solicited the views of a stratified random sample of4,508 Florida residents, with smaller random samples from California(500), Texas (502) and New York (502).66 percent of the respondents were female, 53 per cent were marriedand 61 per cent were white.A further 14 percent were Black and 19 per cent were from non-Whiteor Black Latino/Hispanic communities. Interviews were conductedover the telephone and lasted an average of 27 minutes.The average age of the respondents was just under 46 years. Self-reported income put 29 percent in the low-income category, 26 percent in the moderate-income category and 35 percent in the high-income category.Just under 10 percent were receiving Temporary Assistance for NeedyFamilies (TANF).The team found that, compared to people with higher incomes, thosewith lower incomes held similar values toward marriage and were lesslikely to approve of divorce.
  • 155. However, lower income respondents were more likely than werehigher income respondents to value the economic aspects ofmarriage, including the husband and wife having good jobs."Prompted by the belief that the institution of marriage is in crisisamong the poor, the federal government has spent 1 billion dollars oninitiatives to strengthen marriage among low-income populations,"Benjamin Karney said."Often these are based on the assumption that there must besomething wrong with how people on low incomes view marriage orthat they just are not very good at managing intimate relationships,"he said.Dr. Trail concluded by giving an overview of the study and its findings."We found that people with low incomes value marriage as aninstitution, have similar standards for choosing a marriage partner andexperience similar problems with managing their relationships," Trailsaid."We suggest that initiatives to strengthen marriage among the poorshould also take social issues into account, as they can place atremendous amount of stress on a marriage," he added.The study has been published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.The next time you feel like getting naughty on a social networkingsite, think again.Writing or uploading not-so-innocent posts and pictures could put anend to your marriage. These seemingly harmless tasks are increasinglybeing used as material in divorce and custody proceedings in India. Soshould you stay off these sites if your relationship is on the edge? Itsadvisable, caution lawyers.
  • 156. Ace lawyer Satish Maneshinde declares that posting certaininformation and pictures online can be "dangerous". He informs, "InIndia, electronic evidence is admissible in a court of law. While asocial networking site may not disclose the evidence of a relationship,what is uploaded shows inclination of one person with another andcan be produced in court. I have seen a rise of at least 200 per cent incases like these in the last year alone. Electronic material is alsoconsidered a document under the Indian Evidence Act."Says lawyer Mrunalini Deshmukh, "Things uploaded on a site are notthe only source of evidence, but they can be used as corroborativeevidence. A lot of spying of accounts happens so you have to be verycareful of what you upload, especially if you are in a questionablerelationship," she advises.While it seems easy to have an affair or flirt with the opposite sex ona social networking site, it can wreak havoc in ones marriage. "Ivehad so many cases in the recent past where a a husband or wife havesaved a certain picture or post even though it was deleted later on, soit can be damning evidence to be used in court. Many times peoplehave contacted their exes or classmates and started a flirtation thathas led to something else," she says.The advice? "Make sure you have your ethics in place. Do not use thenet as a tool for distraction in your personal life and avoid getting toopersonal online."Break-up blues are now being done away with easily, with most Kiwi women holdingseparation or divorce parties to mark the end of the relationship.Christchurch woman Dale Smith, 43, whose husband of 10-years left her, decided to hold aseparation party in her backyard, complete with male dancer, food, wine and even herformer mother-in-law.She got male dancer, Leon, from UgotMale, and 15 girlfriends to help celebrate."It was a really good release, and the laughter – oh, there was just so much laughter," Stuffquoted Smith as saying."It had just been a really sad time and the s... had been huge, and we thought, Why not letloose and have some fun?" she stated.
  • 157. The party stemmed from a joke between Smith and a 22-year-old co-worker about hiring adancer to mark being newly single."Then I decided to make some calls, and before we knew it we had a date, he [the dancer]was booked and it was happening," Smith said."And Ill be doing it all again in two years or so when my divorce comes through," sheadded.Lee Amor, managing director of Whirl Productions event organisers, said divorce andseparation parties were growing in popularity in the South Island, while North Islandwomen had been enjoying them for some time.Heres how you can kiss away your kissing blues...Everyone wants be acknowledged as a good kisser. But sometimes over enthusiasm gets thebetter of you or lack of knowledge about the art of kissing lets you down. So here are a fewpointers that can help you liplock perfectly.Dont watchMost Bollywood and Hollywood movies that have kissing scenes can help you here. Have youever seen a kissing scene where the guy or the girl has their eyes open? Thats lessonnumber one for you. Always keep your eyes closed. It will help you feel the emotion whilelocking lips with each other.Keep it cleanMake sure you dont have an overdose of garlic-laced food just before you pucker up.Controlling the odour of your mouth is one of the important rules of kissing. When it cometo kissing you have you follow a certain hygiene level.Be cautiousEven if you are sure that you dont suffer from bad breath it wont hurt to use a mouthfreshener before kissing your partner. A few precautions can certainly help enhance yourimage as a good kisser.Dont askGo for a kiss only when you are sure about the feelings of your partner. Dont ever ask theperson you are on date with for a kiss. Also dont try and take too many liberties thinkingthat the person you are kissing wont notice.How intimate you get with a person should depend on how deep your relationship is. Dontexpect a make-out session every time you kiss someone.Watch your mouthDont open your mouth far too wide. It may seems as if your are aiming to eat yourpartners head rather than kissing his/her lips. Dont roll out your tongue every time youkiss your partner. Holding your partners head gently is fine, but holding his/her head to
  • 158. keep him/her from pulling away is not just bad manners, but its also criminal!Dealing with a bad kisserRemember that sometimes kisses can be awkward. So, even if you are faced with a badkisser, dont end the kiss abruptly or say it on that persons face. You can try and play therole of a teacher instead and be nice to the person.If you think the passion to kiss your partner is missing in your life, it could be dueto your marriage.A survey in Britian has found one in five married couples does not kiss for a wholeweek and when they do, it is usually a quick smooch lasting not more than fiveseconds.But younger sweethearts are more romantic, the survey finds, with those between18 and 24 saying they lock lips with a partner 11 times a week, the Daily Expressreports.The findings were released in a campaign by the British Heart Foundation to teachreviving skills like the kiss of life to schoolchildren as part of the nationalcurriculum.Celebs also revealed their most memorable kiss for the charitys YouTube video.British Olympics gymnast Louis Smith revealed his was at school, kissing "that onegirl thats older, who you think is amazing.""My friends jumped on me, celebrating like I had just kissed Victoria Beckham."ITV weather girl Clare Nasir said: "My greatest kiss was for my daughter at birth.She was six weeks premature and we almost lost her. It took us six years to have ababy and it was the best day of my life."What does it take to be happy in a relationship? If you’re working to improve yourmarriage, here are a few habits of happy couples.1. Go to bed at the same timeRemember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn‘t wait to go to bed witheach other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at differenttimes. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do thingswhile their partner sleeps.2. Cultivate common interestsAfter the passion settles down, it‘s common to realise that you have few interests incommon. But don‘t minimise the importance of activities you can do together that you
  • 159. both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the sametime, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to yourmate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.3. Walk hand in hand or side by sideRather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walkcomfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it‘s more important to be with theirpartner than to see the sights along the way.4. Make trust and forgiveness your default modeIf and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can‘t resolve it, happycouples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrongIf you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you lookfor what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on whatyou want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after workOur skin has a memory of ―good touch‖ (loved), ―bad touch‖ (abused) and ―no touch‖(neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the ―good touch,‖which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morningThis is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each dayto battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feelThis tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still wantto be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than anysingle upsetting incident.9. Do a “weather” check during the dayCall your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great wayto adjust expectations so that you‘re more in sync when you connect after work. Forinstance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him orher to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.10. Be proud to be seen with your partnerHappy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionatecontact - hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showingoff but rather just saying that they belong with each other.Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behaviourthat you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of dailyrepetition of a new a behaviour to become a habit. So select one of the behaviours in thelist above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit...and make you happier as acouple. And if you fall off the wagon, don‘t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask
  • 160. their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.If there was one key to happiness in love and life, and possibly even success, it would be togo into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremostin your mind, "Just Listen."So you love your fiance, but is he the right person to marry? Well, Father Pat Connor,missionary, marital expert and the first priest ever to be quoted by Glamour magazine,sure knows the answer.The Australian-born Catholic priest, now based in New Jersey, has condensed his wisdomfrom 40-odd years of counselling engaged couples into one manual of advice-Whom Not toMarry.He has conducted premarital counselling and presided over more than 200 weddings.He also lectures high school girls on the pitfalls of marrying the wrong guy.And he likes to catch women young, because once they have fallen in love they will be lesslikely to absorb his sensible and often unromantic advice.He believes there are no soulmates, only lovers to whom we commit.Connors central thesis is that you can be deeply in love with someone to whom you cantbe successfully married.He advises a year-long engagement to examine fully the values and character of yourfuture spouse.And Connors whom not to marry list is as follows:1. Mummys boys2. Men who are bad with money3. Men with no friends4. Men who put you down in public5. Men who are rude to waitering staff6. Men unable to laugh at themselves7. Men unwilling to share authority8. Men who never make demands countering yours
  • 161. 8 tips for divorce proof marriage1. Talk, and listen Make sure to share your thoughts with each other, daily, if possible, and to take interest in each others lives. Make sure to check in with your spouse to ensure that theyre truly hearing what youre saying -- and that youre receiving and understanding right back. "This is a responsibility that both people 2. Kiss goodbye and hello "Hugs, kisses, quick squeezes, even holding one anothers gaze are ways in which the couple can affirm their connection and commitment to one another,". Pausing for a hug and a kiss before you leave for work in the morning may seem like a small thing, but the warm glow it gives you is something to look back on all day. 3. Do fun activities together Find a shared outside activity: Ballroom dancing, jogging, foreign films and gardening are some examples. They can help you both keep learning about each other. "While these hobbies can seem frivolous, they can actually serve to remind the couple of what they have in common and encourage them to relate to one another as a real people." 4. Have independent lives Dont live life glued together. Make sure to have your own hobbies, interests and friends on top of your shared activities; youll maintain a sense of your own individual identity and have lots to talk about with your partner to boot. "Before we ever knew our spouse existed on the planet, we had dreams, ambitions and interests that probably contributed to us making that love connection." Both partners continue to pursue at least one independent hobby or activity in order to nourish both themselves and their relationship. 5. Plan ahead From parenting philosophies to thoughts on money to prioritizing goals and dreams, marriage means making plans together -- and the earlier, the better. Financial planning, for instance, "can often be a deal-breaker in a marriage." Dont assume that your partner knows how you feel about important issues -- sit down and discuss them before they have the chance to become a problem. 6. Fight with a purpose Handling conflict constructively is key. A three-point plan for making sure fights have a positive outcome. First, acknowledge that every couple faces arguments, and that theyre "not an indication that the relationship is doomed." Second, "each person should examine their own contribution to the conflict and be prepared to own up to it." Finally, both partners have to be able to spell out what upset them and how they would like the problem to be resolved. "By having this level of clarity, the couple is then in a position to talk about what happened in a focused way." 7. Make time for intimacy "Sex is really the culmination of all of the little things that are done throughout the day," a reminder of how much you enjoy your spouse." So, the more, the better, right? Well, its not so simple. What is important is that you are meeting each others needs for intimacy -- which means they need to be articulated, as well (see 1, above). And intimacy doesnt necessarily mean sex, per se. "The broader the couples physical repertoire, the better," This means that everything from kisses to cuddles to shared glances is game. 8. Focus on the positive
  • 162. Sometimes, all it takes to brighten someones mood is an honest compliment fromsomeone he or she loves. One consequence of being part of a deeply committedrelationship is trusting your partners opinion, whether its a compliment or a put-down.Dont take this power for granted. So if you think your partner looks cute in her newdress, say so -- and if youre not crazy about the shoes, keep your mouth shut. Its allabout the greater good, after all.Better opportunities are forcing couples to live separately. Experts on makingcommuter love workLong distance couples, now called commuter couples, given the amount of travellingeach partner does, are stuff that nice suburban legends are made of. We often hear ofso-and-so who lived in different cities for "eight years, can you believe it!" and haveprobably caught ourselves wondering at their superhuman will, and powers.Yet, maintaining long distance relationships (LDR), as those whove been in it can tellyou, is not easy. Ironically, the number of such commuter couples, say experts, hasgone up.Dr Katheryn Maguire, associate professor at Wayne State University, Michigan, whose15-year research focuses on communication in LDRs says, "Couples see LDRs as moremanageable now, and more of a necessity given the current economic climate anddifficulty obtaining and keeping well-paying jobs."Mumbai couples arent untouched by forces of economics either. Andheri-based Dr RajivAnand, psychiatrist, sex consultant and marriage counsellor says, "These days we comeacross at least eight to ten LDR couples a month."So what do these experts tell their clients about surviving a relationship?Use technology: Use Skype or any other video chat technology while eating breakfastor cooking dinner after a days work. Do your thing, while your partner does hers — co-exist, and make conversation intermittently.All conversations dont have to be long or meaningful. Talk about mundane stuff likewhat you ate for breakfast. Share your plans about what vegetables you intend to buyfrom the market. Keep it simple and quotidian. "These conversations allow us to keeptrack of the goingson in our partners life. Without them, we tend to get surprised,"says Dr Maguire.Make mutual decisions about chat timeBe cautious of the time you demand from your partner. Dont insist that they send yougood morning messages every day, because just like you, they too, are leading a lifewith its own rhythm and schedule."You need to give space in view of different time zones, surroundings and lifestyles. Ifone partner is inquisitive or suspicious, the other partner feels pushed and will beginavoiding interacting. This leads to the creation of an emotional distance," says Dr
  • 163. Anand.ChildrenKids miss their parents more keenly, so its important for them to have a routine thatthey can rely on, says Dr Maguire. The parent who has gone to another city should findways to creatively communicate with the child, as well. Send them a postcard or emailevery fortnight — this gives them something to look forward to with excitement.Know when to be presentMake yourself available for important occasions. If your anniversary is a big day foryou, plan ahead and apply for leave. Dont let anything get in the way of the journeysyou make for each other.Amsterdam-based Dr Ferdi Smit (32) and Mumbai girl Amrita Karunakaran (28), met inan online chat room 10 years ago — when Skype and Facebook werent around. Theydated across continents and time zones for eight years, before they got married in2010. Every year, one of them would make a trip to see the other for two months.That, says the duo, was imperative.So when the time came to marry, neither felt like a stranger in the others presence."It actually was fun to set up house and move into our own home. The fact that westayed in each others homes helped us adjust," says Karunakaran, who is now based inAmsterdam with her husband.Have a deadlineExperts point out that it is important for a couple to set a deadline of time to betogether again. For Smit and Karunakaran, it was till Smit finished his studies.Karunakaran made sure she was there for his PhD ceremony.What about sex?Like many good things in life, there is an app for this as well. Oni Chen, a 27-year-oldTaiwanese marketing major has come up with the LovePalz, which can be downloadedon a smartphone. The app comes with two devices — Zeus for men and Hera forwomen. And once connected online, these devices can tracks yours and your partnersmovements.Karunakaran says, "I dont think temptation is any stronger in a long distancerelationship. If you love and care for someone, you will find ways to make it work."While the thought of living in another city may be incomprehensible for some, thereare many who welcome it.Dr Maguire says, "One of the more interesting results that emerged from my research isthat some couples want to be in an LDR — they want their autonomy during the week,but connect with their partners on the weekends. Some couples tell me that they thinkthey would break up or divorce if they ever had to live together again for long periodsof time."
  • 164. By Ayesha Nair, Mumbai Mirroretween covers, isnt that where love is supposed to lie? Shouldnt all love — or themaking thereof — get your knickers in a twist? So why the fuss, the surprise, thetamasha and the brouhaha over forbidden love and those who forbid it? Love actuallymust be more chhupa chhupi than khullam khulla, and whats the fun of pyaar withoutthe protest?For decades, true love had to contend only with crass commerce every Valentines Day.The makers of cards, candles and heart-shaped everything in yucky shades of pink. Thesellers of wine and roses. The merchants of diamonds which were supposed to beforever but which strangely had to be supplemented every year, or oftener.We had prided ourselves on being the originators of the book of love. Now we have toask ourselves the question: What came first, the Kama Sutra or the VHP? Or the ShivSena, MNS, Ram Sene and every other self-appointed, self-righteous custodian of ourmorals, our culture, our entertainment and our wardrobes.So forget the old adage about forbidden fruit tasting sweetest. You wont get muchchance to find out. For, barely after you have savoured the first nibble, you might findyourself in the police station and/or the casualty ward. In fact, love has lost itspremier position in the forbidden league. It finds itself with all manner of bedfellowsas our professional protestors keep extending their eclectic range of targets. Thecanoodler is now in the company of the filmmaker or the beer drinker. Anything is gristto the milling goons.The point to be made is that when you let the hate brigade decide on matters of love,it doesnt stop at couples. It becomes open season on anything that offends anyone.Everything is pushed into the forbidden pit. Push is already becoming shove. The magicof the movies has turned into a witches cauldron. Cuddling lovers have to be burnt atthe stake. Gays are evil incarnate. Who knows, next they may even convert themissionary position into an act of the Devil.And yet, heres the irony. Everything is forbidden exists in an urban environment whichalso subscribes to the culture of anything goes. Just do it is as much a part of oursocial lexicon as Dont you dare. Globalised India is cocooned in a surround-sound ofliberalism. The Net, iPods, cellphones, hoardings, television, print, all media exhortsyou to smile and bare it. It seductively persuades you to let go, come what may.The young are experimenting like never before and at an age when even their oldersiblings were babes in the woods instead of being a tangle in the thickets. Familyequations have changed with parents desperately wanting to be cool instead of gettinghot under the collar over their childrens hormonal adventurism. In this no-holds barredscenario, nothing is non-kosher. Fore-bidden has replaced forbidden. And it isnthappening only in some sliver-thin upper class pickled in Western decadence. Go to anypublic park. You wont have to look hard. Its so brazenly in-your- face that all but theunabashed voyeur would squirm.
  • 165. However, events of the past few years have forced us to believe that its not only Cupidwho sharpens his arrows in preparation for February 14. He has serious competitionfrom an entire army of smashers, bashers and other crashers of parties. So each year,after the lust and the bloodlust, when the hurly-burlys done, when the battles foughtand won, we are left wondering, Whose V-Day was it this time? That of the lovers orthat of those who hate love?Reasons why I love u1) The way you stand by my side 2) The times you make sure nothing will harm me 3) How you always find a new way to "WoW" me 4) When Im sad, you take the pain away with a joke 5) How you always look deep into my eyes 6) How you can make my heart melt with your soft lips 7) The way you hold my hand so tight 8) The way you never let my hands go 8) How you always watch out for me 9) They way you make sure I have everything I need 10) How you always know what to say when I get mad at you 11) When you buy me things out of the blue 12) How you say the cutest things over and over and never gets old 13) The way you play with my hair when Im falling asleep 14) The way you stare at me as if I am the most handsome guy in the world! 15) The times when you where determind for me not to be mad at you anymore 16) The way you look when I get all dressed up 17) The smile you give after Im done kissing you 18) The way you act like a dork but make me laugh
  • 166. 19) The way your not embarrased to say or do anything in front of me20) How you can just defend me and not be scared21) They way you walk when you get sad!!22) The look you make when you get jealous23) When Im feeling the worst, you make me feel the happiest24) The way you sing to be all cheesy25) How you can just drive hours to see me for a day26) How you always finish my sentences27) How your the only one who thinks im NOT weird28) How your the only one who gets my joke... and laughs29) The way we play stupid games, but you play anyways30) How I can never hate you31) How you love me like no other32) The way you touch me as if I might break33) How you tell me long stories that have no meaning, but you know Ill listenanyway34) How you listen to me talk for hours35) How you forgive me when I do wrong36) How you hardly ever get mad at me37) The way you look after I say I love you38) How times it seems like were the only ones here39) the way your not embarrased to call me sweet things in front of anyone40) The way you call me every freakin minute41) The way you always find a way to see me or talk to me42) How you put ME before you friends
  • 167. 43) How you would do anything I say44) The way you get my attention45) The way I turn you on, without me doing anything46) How you can just speak your mind47) How your not afraid to tell me your feelings48) How you can cry in front of me with out being shy or embarassed49) How you can diss parties to just stay home with me all night50) How we talk on the phone all night51) How we both get along so well52) The way you spend all your money to buy calling cards for me53) The way were so much alike!!54) How you make me feel when I think Im nothing55) the way you inspire me with your thoughts and emotions!!!!There are certain qualities in men that women absolutely dig.It‘s not just about being tall, dark and handsome. There are certain ‗manly‘qualities about guys that can make any woman go weak in her knees. And while youmay think it‘s all about the looks, guess what? There‘s more. It‘s a potent mix ofboth, physical attributes and of course, that all important emotional touch. Here,we tell you about six points you need to heed.Well groomedYes, we said tall but the reality is that height is really not as important a factor ashow you present yourself. Just like guys like a women who is well turned out,women too dig guys who ensure that they are perfectly groomed a la LeonardoDiCaprio. The basic funda women believe in is that if you are careful enough totake care of yourself, they can trust you to take care of them. So, remember guys,sloppy dressing, uncombed hair, dirty nails, smelly socks, stained shirts or jeansand the likes are an absolute no-no when you are trying to make that all importantimpression on someone from the opposite sex.A sense of styleWomen would rather have you splurging on them than on obscenely priced designerwear. So, even if it‘s a typical roadside purchase that you swear by, make sure you
  • 168. adopt a certain classy and stylised look and maintain it. Women don‘t really expectyou to be a picture copy of a Pierce Brosnan or a David Beckham, but trying toimitate their style will surely up your popularity quotient. Keep yourself updatedon the latest trends. Also, just as you have your reservations against the ‗nun-type‘dressers, women too hesitate when it comes to the boring office type dresser.Laugh it outOne of the most important trait that woman dig is a sense of humour. Women havemore than enough problems to deal with and don‘t really need the company ofanother equally depressed soul. Yes, you have your bad days, but it does go a longway if you have a good sense of humour, and clean humour at that. Beware, takinga dig at others and constantly putting others down do not really spell fun forwomen. And we can‘t tell you enough how much women love people who can laughat themselves and their own mistakes.Show them you careWomen need to be constantly reassured that they are loved and cared for. Acts likeholding their hand while walking down the road, watching the sunset, an occasionalhug and peck on the cheeks and making sure that they cross the road safely meanthat you are proud to be seen with them and care for them. Remember, notdisplaying your affection openly is a sign that you are ashamed of who you arewith. However, beware of being crass while displaying you affections.A sexy smile/winkThere‘s a reason why women absolutely adore Richard Gere or Hugh Jackman andit has a lot to do with the way that they smile or that glint in their eyes. Believe uswhen we tell you that if you look at them and smile like that, it does make themfeel very special, like they are one in a million.Be calmWoman are known to be harrowed and frenzied. Yes, they do tend to get hypervery easily and that is the precise reason why you need to be the calming factor intheir lives. It really doesn‘t help if you too get stressed out or fly off the handle atany and every incident. Your sex appeal lies as much in your looks as it does in yourattitude - women dig guys with a cool and peaceful attitude, the one who is able tocalm them down and reassure them that all is well.We fully agree with age-old adage that competition between lovers makes arelationship sour, but what if the competition is packed in some utterly romanticlove games?Well, in such a case, these love games will strengthen your love ties by bringingyou closer to your mate thus taking both partners to newer heights of interactivityand intimacy. In short, love competition adds the much needed spice to yourrelationship.Sometimes it takes something as simple as being playful to ward off the monotonysurrounding our love life and to get you both back into the mood for romance and
  • 169. passion. So, get into the act folks as its playtime and remember theres nothing like a sexy romantic game to sizzle up the action between the sheets. Theres no time like the present moment so go ahead and get acquainted with these fun-filled love games that seek to unleash the playboy in your man and the sex siren in you. You dont have to be a newly-wed to play these love games. These games are the best remedy when you feel the spark fizzling out of your love shack. Just gear up for some love action coz as the saying goes - couples that play together, stay together! 1. Hide and Seek Before you chuck this idea out as a stale game, let us tell you that its a uncovered hide and seek match that we are proposing! So, make sure your blinds are down before you both decide to do the Full Monty or peeping Toms in your neighbourhood may just end up having a field day. Rules: When the game is intensely naughty, the rules have to be sexier to keep up the tempo. How about something like: "If he finds you, he wins 10 minutes of extreme pleasure." And in case he fails, hell be your love slave for the day and vice versa. Exploit his weakness to the fullest! Add the sizzle: Rather than being stark without clothes, wear just one piece of clothing that simply turns your partner on. How about a garter belt or those killer stilettoes? Men, how about those sexy thongs or how about flaunting that tattoo near your navel. Finding you wearing just what he/she dreams of will add to the victory match! 2. Bursting balloons Who said only kids play with balloons? Even adults do! By the end of this balloon game, resisting each other will be simply impossible. Blow up ten (or more) round party balloons. Place them between you and your lover while lying in bed together. Now, both of you start to hug, squeeze and kiss each other, while squashing the balloons in between your bodies resulting in them going pop! The bet is to break as many of them as possible. Rules: You cant break the balloons alone by riding on them, but strictly by squashing them between your hot bods. Add the sizzle: Pep up the thrill of breaking the balloons by putting sweet little love notes into some of them. The balloons are a lot harder to pop this way than you might imagine.2. Basketball strip game Playing basket ball with your partner is a good idea to induce some physical exercise. All you need to do is set up a basketball hoop in your home and start shooting hoops. Doesnt sound interesting enough? Why not make it titillating by adding a sensuous reward for every shot you get through? So, every time he scores, you have to strip a piece of clothing you have on and if you get through, he strips and so on. This acts as an exciting twist in your normal basketball routine and is surely going to set the temperature soaring with sweaty passion. Before you know it, waiting for that last winning shot will be actually interesting! Rules: Abandon the usual tracks or shorts and dress formally from head to toe. More
  • 170. the number of clothes...more is the sexual excitement as you view your partner stripping off every last piece of clothing to keep up with your sex drive! Add the sizzle: The winner gets it all as the losing partner has to do anything and everything the winner demands. The more creative you are, the more fun the exercise promises to be! 4. Sniff the kiss zone In this game you need five diverse fragrances sprayed on five different spots of your body. Now, let your partner employ his senses to detect those sweet smelling spots and leave his love mark there! Reward? Hmm...whats better than a sweet smelling kiss or a long lasting hickey? Rules: The hunter is strictly supposed to do a nose job with no skin touches until he/she locates the sweet smelling spot and once its done; the other partner simply has to surrender. Add the sizzle: Get experimental! Instead of regular flowery smells...go for heady fragrances to drive your mate to new heights. The effect will not just be magical, but lasting as well. 5. Nooky numbers This will only make initial play even more intense. All you both need is a deck of cards here. Shuffle and place them face-down between you and your partner. Now, take turns to pick out cards from the pile. Follow the rules below and keep playing till you can resist taking the big plunge. Rules: If you draw a number card, you get to kiss that many spots on your partners body. You drew a King/Queen? You win a 15-minute, sensual body massage. If a Jack is drawn, simultaneously pleasure each other for ten minutes in all your favourite love spots. Aces are considered wild card entry here! If you are lucky to draw one, it grants you one of your carnal desires. Add the sizzle: Surprise your partner with a yummy smooch in his/her desired body part if you loved the massage. You never know...you may end up hitting the jackpot!5. Blind Berry Hunting In this love hunt, one partner blindfolds the other. Whoever is not blindfolded hides small quantities of berries (raspberries, blueberries, etc) all over their body and the other has to hunt them out. The reward is that the hunter wins wishes equaling the number of berries he has located. Rules: The hunter is not allowed to use hands, only mouth-work here. And the other partner has to grant the hunters most exciting wishes. Add the sizzle: Dont let the excitement finish at just discovering the berries. Hand feed them to your beau on the very body part you located them. Tickling caused by your eating coupled with the magic of berry-juice dripping while you eat will turn-on your partner leaving him/her craving for more action! 7. Love Pictionary You must have played Pictionary as a child. We are just making it love pictionary for the adults. In this game, one of you makes a sketch of the surprise you want to have at night from
  • 171. your partner.For instance, draw a beach, sand, sun and sea if you want to get dirty on thebeach this weekend! And if your partner guesses your clue right...you dont have to ask foranother reward! He too wins a chance to etch out his wildest fantasies! A win-win situation forboth!Rules: Whosoever is drawing should not speak and the guessing mate cant deny actuallyperforming whats been drawn. What if he fails to guess? He doesnt get a chance to draw whathe wants till he makes the right guess.Add the sizzle: The drawer can be as suggestive as he/she can while drawing out the clues.After all, you want your partner to guess right!8. Ultimate patience testAs the name suggests, in this game both the partners take chances to test each otherspatience. One of them is active, while the other is a passive partner. The passive partner hasto lie still, while the active partner takes charge to do just about everything pleasurable to theother. Being active, your motto is to elicit a response from the other, while the latter has tostrive to control so as to enjoy maximum gratification.Rules: It is only when the passive partner reacts (moans or moves) that the doer wins hispleasure trip.Add the sizzle: The active partner is allowed to touch all levels of teaching and touching toexcite the passive partner. The best part about this game are the discoveries you make aboutyour partner - sensitive areas on his/her body, most erogenous zones, favourite pleasurabletechniques, sensual responses, the list is endless. Every game will make you more adroit toexcel in the second round.9. Catch an alphabet!You must have played it in your schooldays. It was something like this - one person started witha city starting with A as the other called out a citys name starting with the alphabet on whichthe first city ended. Replace the cities with parts of each others bodies now! Let him startwith a body part starting with A and then you take it forward. The tease here is that each onehas to kiss the body part being called out. If theres no body part corresponding to an alphabet,just get creative and name it yourself to keep the passion soaring sky high.Rules: You cant skip your turn. Whosoever fails to find a body part loses the golden chance tokiss. As they say one persons loss is anothers gain - the other partner takes over his chance toget naughty with a particular part of your body. So try and win!Add the sizzle: Dont just limit yourself to kissing your lovers body part!10. Role playingAll of us cherish certain wild fantasies relating to certain professions and professionals. Somelove getting spanked by a head mistress, while others just love watching a doctor taking over.If even you have one such naughty fantasy...get into some serious role playing! Dress up theway your partner wants and play act a naughty role just for him/her. How about a wickedschoolgirl getting spanked by a strict teacher or a sexy librarian and student or for that mattera hot detective and his suspect? The possibilities are wild...Rules: While play-acting, forget your real self. You can only use the props and places suitingthe role. For instance, a teachers spanking stick or a doctors stethoscope checking out neverexplored places in your body will create quite a ripple.Add the sizzle: Ask your partner what all he fantasies doing with/doing to his favouritecharacter and help him achieve the perfect part.
  • 172. Try these love games, and youll be surprised to watch your relationship grow all the moreexciting and healthy!Tips & Warnings1. Dont shy away from trying these games. If one isnt good for you, another must be. So,explore...2. Let your imaginative juices flow while playing these games to get the desired results.3. Make sure you know your partners preferences before you trigger off any love game.Everybody is not equally sporting.Research has conclusively proved that love comes in several different forms that can be furthercategorized. These few styles may be a blend of two or three styles!Love! Ah, what does one say - it‘s like a cool breeze on a hot, muggy summer night, a magicaldroplet from the sky, a warm kiss from a lover, a hug from a buddy. Although, the experiencemay be very divergent, what‘s certain is that love means different things to different people.Hues of love:How do I get this done love: Some people experience love as a game to be played with otherpeople‘s emotions. The desire is to gain control over a partner through clever calculation.People who experience this kind of love have multiple love interests where they are incomplete control. Lying, cheating and deception are common for these people as it is part ofthe game. For people who experience such love, it is satisfying to outwit a partner and exploithis or her weak spots.Madly, deeply, irrevocably in love: Some people experience love with a lot of passion,intimacy and intensity. Here the love has a strong sexual and emotional component. Peoplewho experience love this way want to be emotionally and physically close to their romanticpartners and tend to idealize love. Such love is marked by passion as well as compassion(kindness and consideration). This kind of love is best viewed as romantic, passionate love - thetype that creates excitement at the beginning of a new relationship.Obsessed, possessed love: For some people, love is being out of control! It turns one‘s lifeupside down and results in a complete loss of one‘s identity. People who experience this kindof love fall in love quickly, but their love tends to consume them, and is likely to burnout evenbefore it gets the chance to mature. Such love is often marked by extreme delusions, rashdecisions and vulnerability.Steady slow love: Some people experience love as a gradual and slow process. When love islike this, getting to know a potential partner comes before having intense feelings for thatperson. Falling in love requires genuine liking and understanding and it develops slowly overtime. It is often compared to the love that one has for a friend. In fact, people who experiencethis kind of love often fall in love with their friends.Nurturing love: For some people, love is taking care of a person. It is the overwhelming desire
  • 173. to look after a partner like one would after a child or a parent. Such love is attentive, caring,compassionate and kind - an altruistic type of love.Logical love: However oxymoronic it may sound, but there are some people who take apractical approach to love. It is a clear-cut way of thinking based on common sense and reason.People who experience this kind of love tend to pick a ‗suitable‘ mate after much deliberationand thinking. Practical concerns underlie this type of love.You thought infidelity breaks up marriages? Youre wrong, coz according to MaryseVaillant, a prominent French psychologist, "Men who keep mistresses improve theirmarriage".In her latest book, "Men, Love, Fidelity", Maryse says, "Infidelity is essential to thepsychic functioning of certain men who are still very much in love, and it can beliberating for women."So if your husbands been enjoying secret meetings with another woman, dont runafter him with a knife.For all you know, it could improve your marriage. Maryse says that infidelity is not, bydefinition, proof of love. Agrees engineer Charu Verma*, 29, "We practically spend ourlives in office, so naturally, one gets attached to colleagues. And why blame men;women too get into relationships of convenience. I work for 12-15 hours a day, andsince I dont get to see my husband often, we started having a lot of fights. I neededemotional support, and a colleague helped me out. Maybe its wrong for some people,but I wouldnt call it cheating. It took my mind off certain things, and my husband andI are doing fine."Chirag Bhalla*, 31, a CA, feels theres nothing wrong with an extra-marital affair. "Ourwives are so career-oriented that theyre willing to work in a different city for a higherposition. How are we supposed to control ourselves? And if having an affair helps onelead a normal married life, so be it," says he.But there are those who do think its unacceptable. "I have to disagree, because itmakes a mockery of faithfulness. If a marriage has to be judged by the number ofaffairs ones had, why get married at all?" asks 29-year-old HR pro Deborah Steele.Sumanta Mukherjee, 30, thinks "Men are programmed that way and cant help beingwomanisers. Its not true for everyone, though. Infidelity happens and there are waysto reconcile. But if it doesnt work out, why not try something new?"Weight problems, physical inactivity, excessive drinking, smoking, and hard drugs --facets of an unhealthy lifestyle may be linked with sexual malfunctioning in men.Additionally, people who are sexually inactive also tend to have unhealthy lifestyles,
  • 174. says a new study from Denmark.Researchers led by associate professor Morten Frisch, of Statens Serum Institut,Denmark, used national survey data from 5,552 Danish men and women aged 16-97years in 2005 to study the link between lifestyle factors with sexual inactivity andsexual dysfunction.Results found that a number of unhealthy lifestyle factors are associated withheightened risk of not having a partner-related sex life by up to 78 per cent in menand up to 91 percent in women, reports the Journal of Sexual Medicine.Among those who had a sexual partner, risk of experiencing sexual dysfunction wasgreater in men who lead unhealthy lives by 71 per cent in those with substantiallyincreased waist and more than 800 per cent in men using hard drugs, according to aStatens statement.Women who used hashish had almost three times increased risk of anclimaxia(difficulties or inability to reach climax during sexual activity with a partner)compared to non-users."Knowing about possible negative consequences of an unhealthy lifestyle to onessexual health may help people quit smoking, consume less alcohol, exercise more, andlose weight," Frisch said.Irwin Goldstein, editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sexual Medicine , said: "There aremany reasons for sexual dysfunction, including those over which you have no control,such as after cancer treatments, or following injuries."After a few years into a relationship, couples usually complain about the monotony andboredom creeping in. Here is what you can do to enhance your relationship:Romantic settingYour bedroom needs to be a comfortable place, your haven. The lighting, the kind of furnitureyou have, the mood your bedroom induces — everything plays a part when it comes to romancein your life.Dont rush through lifeOh yes, we know all about no time to stand and stare. Our lives these days are very hectic andbusy. No one really has the luxury of time anymore but if you want your relationship to carryon you will need to slow things down. Linger on the initial play time and make sure your timetogether with your partner is not just about the intercourse. Try calling in making love insteadof sex for a while. It makes a difference. Change the sceneYou should try and go a little away from routine. Why dont the two of you just rent a hotel
  • 175. room for a change? The new place may make make you adventurous!Appreciate your partnerComplimenting your partner and appreciating his/her moves can go a long way. Just lettingthem know how good they look can boost their confidence and make them do things in bed thatyou probably did not expect. If you find some particular move is doing you good and ignitingyour passion let your partner know it.InnovateDont go for the same routine. Arrange to put up a large mirror on the ceiling or a wall. Seeyourself in the act — it can be highly exciting. (Dont think of Feng Shui for a while) Take ashower together.Date your spouseYou both have probably been together for years now including all those years of your courtship.Just think of those days when you had just begun dating — you would never take your partnerfor granted, you would go all out. Do it again. Go out on a date and have a great time.In a bid to lead the ideal life, its rather easy, and a common occurrence, too, for couples tolose focus of the sexual side of their relationship. Sex, which is supposed to be all about funand spontaneous action, then becomes a tried and tested, and consequently, boring routine.And once boredom sets in, it often leads to couples growing apart from each other, falling outof love and in quite a few cases, searching for that spark outside the marriage.So before your relationship, too, falls a victim to such sexual boredom, here are some easyways to keep things as hot and happening, like it was when it all started between the two ofyou.Increase initial playIt may seem like an over hyped concept, but it is true that initial play definitely increases theproximity between a couple. Why? Because this is when you take the trouble of familiarisingand getting comfortable with each others bodies. But, dont restrict this pre-sex session to justthe four walls of your bedroom, indulge in a variety of activities that you increase theexcitement of the ultimate act, be it a sensual massage or a shower together. Focus on thepleasure of your partner and the favour is bound to be returned in equal, if not added,measure.Go beyond the bedroomSex is not meant only for the bedroom, there will definitely be a number of other locations inyour house that could be even more exciting. Its rightly said that familiarity breeds contemptand sometimes, a change of location and scenery is all it takes to re-ignite your passionateside. That ultra comfortable couch in your living room, the bathroom, the dining table, the rugin front of your TV, a swimming pool, the backseat of your car, the sky is your limit when itcomes to trying out something new.Take turnsListen up ladies, it is not just your mans responsibility to initiate every passionate act,sometimes you need to take the lead, too, especially if you feel that more sex will benefit your
  • 176. relationship. Also, take turn between yourselves to introduce an element of surprise. Dontbreak you head to think of something new everytime, you can indulge is the same routine andyet make it seem like something new by just doing things differently. Be innovative, thats thekey.What do those accidental brushes or your partners pout actually mean? Read onto know more...Up and close: When your partner hovers around you, it means that things can gethot in your bedroom.Copy that: Similar gestures and body positions are likely to get the person tonotice you. Copying each others actions in bed means that the couple iscompletely in sync with each other.Look into my eyes: People also use what are known as bedroom eyes to sendacross some strong signals. Dont just hold your partners gaze, but also try andfollow it. If his/her gaze rests on your lips it means I want to kiss you and when itmoves to other body parts it indicates I would like to touch you.Touch and go: Things that begin with accidental brushing that lead to touchingand can definitely move towards caressing. The way you touch your partner oryour partner is touching you can tell you whether he/she is being flirty or naughty.You have landed a first date and are ready to go. Make sure you dont goof up here and to avoidany faux pas on that day, follow these simple tips, as reported in telegraph.co.uk.Timing is key : First things first, dont leave your date hanging around waiting for you. It willstart the date off on a bad footing and may cause tension. If youre going to be late, make sureyou let them know well in advance.Dress to impress: Every girl loves a man whos dressed to impress, so under no circumstancesturn up in your work clothes or fancy dress. You may think its hilarious but we can guaranteeyour date wont.Cover up : Women need to be just as careful about their clothing. If youre wearing a low-cuttop then cover up your legs, or if youre wearing a high-neck top then wear a skirt and viceversa. As for make-up, there really is no need to smother yourself - the natural look is moreappealing all round.Try something new : When it comes to dining out, if you havent agreed a restaurantbeforehand then its always a good idea to let the lady choose. It shows you are interested inher choice of dining and are willing to try new things. Also, never go for a beer and a take-away. It would be most womens idea of hell.
  • 177. Silent treatment : Another bad habit is that people answer phone calls during conversation. So, the mobile phone should at least be on silent, ideally it should be switched off. Dont get drunk : Drinking on a first date is fine - dates can be nerve-wracking and its a good way to relieve tension. That said, the worst thing you could possibly do is to get drunk and make a fool of yourself. Its a fine line to walk, so be careful and know your limits. Safety all the way : On the way home why not offer to walk your date back to their car, bus or train stop. This shows them that you are enjoying their company and are concerned about their safety.This is indeed a brilliant article and needs to be read again and again ...Here is a list of 15 things, which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easierand youll feel much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a greatdeal of pain, stress and suffering and instead of letting them all go and allowing ourselvesto be stress-free and happy, we cling on to them.Well, not anymore. Starting today, we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us,and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go!1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who cant stand the idea ofbeing wrong wanting to always be right even at the risk of ending great relationships orcausing a great deal of stress and pain for us and for others. Its just not worth it. Wheneveryou feel the urgent need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourselfthis question from Dr. Wayne Dyer: Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind? Whatdifference will that make? Is your ego really that big?2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always controleverything that happens to you and around you situations, events, people, etc. Whether theyare loved ones, co-workers, or just strangers you meet on the street just allow them to be.Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better willthat make you feel.By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you tryand try. The world is beyond winning. Lao Tzu
  • 178. 3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or dont have,for what you feel or dont feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibilityfor your life.4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselvesbecause of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Dont believeeverything that your mind is telling you especially if its negative and self-defeating. You arebetter than that.The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes verydestructive. Eckhart Tolle5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible orimpossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep youstuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind. Elly Roselle6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many,maaany things people, situations and events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed.Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allowit to. Its not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look atit. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or peoplethat are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to behappy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all wantsomething, and something is wished by us all.8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that youre notjust to make others like you. It doesnt work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard tobe something that youre not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you acceptand embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A toB. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those aroundyou. Follow your bliss, embrace change dont resist it.Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.Joseph Campbell10. Give up labels. Stop labeling the things, people or events that you dont understand asbeing weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work whenopen.The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you dont know anythingabout. Dr. Wayne Dyer
  • 179. 11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesnt exist you created it. Its all inyour mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. Franklin D. Roosevelt12. Give up your excuses. . A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuseswe use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuckand lie to ourselves, using all kind of excuses excuses that 99.9% of the time, are not evenreal.13. Give up the past. I know, I know. This ones hard. Especially when the past looks so muchbetter than the present and the future looks so frightening. But, you have to take intoconsideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. Thepast you are now longing for the past that you are now dreaming about was ignored by youwhen it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life.After all, life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepareyourself, but always be present in the now.14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us, is so hard to grasp and I haveto tell you that it was for me too (it still is), but its not impossible. You get better and betterat it with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things (and thatdoesnt mean you give up your love for them because love and attachment have nothing to dowith one another. Attachment comes from a place of fear, while love well, real love is pure,kind, and selfless; where there is love there cant be fear, and because of that, attachmentand love cannot co-exist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. Youwill get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A statebeyond words.15. Give up living your life to other peoples expectations. Way too many people are livinga life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best forthem; they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them; to whattheir friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is bestfor them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasingeverybody, with living up to other peoples expectations, that they lose control over theirlives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need and eventually,they forget about themselves. You have one life this one right now you must live it, own it,and especially dont let other peoples opinions distract you from your path.
  • 180. COMPLIED AND CONCIEVED BYAAKASH A SHAH9099079660,9978532625Shah4safety@gmail.comSPREAD AND MAKE ITLARGE…..BELIEVE ME IT‘SA GOOD JOB TO IMPROVESOMEONE‘S LOVE LIFE…..

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