Module 6 grief and personal growth part b 30.4.13

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Module 6 grief and personal growth part b 30.4.13

  1. 1. Module 6Grief and Personal Growth Part B(Strategies to help those who are grieving)CHCCS426B Provide supportand care relating to loss and grief
  2. 2. 2How can we help ourselves feel better?1. Be real about how you feel.Express it.• Even if you have no one you can tell,write down your thoughts, even yourworst ones or speak these out loudon a beach. Tell God if you believe inhim.• Better than this, find a trusted friendor confidant that you can be real with.• If you don’t have anyone you can behonest with, seek out a counsellor.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  3. 3. 3Steps forward…2. Don’t feel that you have to ‘cut off’the past.• When people do this, it tends to makethe healing process a lot longer.• You are who you are because of thepast, the precious people in your lifeand all of your experiences both goodand bad. To ‘cut it off’ is to cut off part ofyourself. It will make you feel empty.• Instead… face the pain of talking aboutthe person or situation you have lost.This pain will lessen as a result.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  4. 4. 4Steps forward…3. Keep a balance in yourthought life.• While in the early stagesfollowing a loss, we will beconsumed with past events –we will want to stay close inour thoughts to the person orsituation we have lost… this isonly natural.• Over time, try to concentrateon the moment you are in andplan a little for the future.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  5. 5. 5Steps forward…4. Watch guilt or blame… get rid ofit (it’s like a cancer that growsand consumes)• When life lets you down, it’s easy toblame people, God or yourself. Thisis a natural stage and provides‘some’ relief for a time.• But be careful of vows… ‘I will neverforgive them’, ‘I will never forgivemyself’… even ‘no oneunderstands’ is a form of blamingothers… and ‘If there is a God, He’seither making a lot of mistakes or isobviously disinterested!’© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  6. 6. 6Steps forward…5. Be sensible with self care• Make sure you eat well, getlots of sunlight, walk a lot,keep routine sleep patterns,reduce workload and laugh asmuch as you can.• The ‘looking after yourself’body, soul and spirit is reallyimportant.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  7. 7. 7Steps forward…6. Drug Use• When you experience aloss, it is better to findnatural ways to cope ratherthan use medication.• Sometimes in extremecircumstances doctors doprescribe drugs for thedepression orsleeplessness than canoccur in grief.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  8. 8. 8Steps forward…• It is really important to stayclear of alcohol or other nonprescribed drugs if you arein grief. Individuals in griefare the most at risk withgoing too far with thesethings because they aretrying to numb emotionalpain. This is of course farmore dangerous thancarefully prescribedmedication whenlegitimately in need.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  9. 9. 9Steps forward…7. Find friendships andsupport• The friends you make ingrief are incredibly special.They may be completelydifferent from your normalfriends.• Get out and get involvedwith new aspects of life.Even if you don’t feel like it,take baby steps forward.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  10. 10. 10Astep UP…1. Grief can become a timeof spiritual awakening• Many people find theirlimitations through asignificant loss. They can nolonger do what they oncedid, or protect themselves inthe same way. They willoften say they have found a‘higher power’ when all theirstrength fails.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  11. 11. 11Astep UP…2. People can find newpurpose for their lives• Many people experience anewfound love for helpingothers, and a sense ofpeace about materialthings.• Things don’t matter like theyused to.• We realise the real value oflife.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  12. 12. 12Astep UP…3. Becoming more grounded… helps you fly• It is true: smelling the roses, knowing what counts in life,helps you prioritise and achieve greatness in this life.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  13. 13. 13Astep UP…• 4. Suffering iseverywhere… none ofus has a monopoly• Unfortunately this planetis less than perfect.• However, the suffering weexperience can make usgreater people, withgreater empathy, greaterresourcefulness, and apassion to extinguish painwherever we see it.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  14. 14. 14Lessons of life from children - 1• Author and lecturer LeoBuscaglia once talked abouta contest he was asked tojudge. The purpose of thecontest was to find the mostcaring child.• The winner was a four yearold boy whose next doorneighbour was an elderlygentleman who had recentlylost his wife.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  15. 15. 15Another example• Upon seeing the man cry,the little boy went into theold gentlemans yard,climbed onto his lap, andjust sat there.• When his mother asked himwhat he had said to theneighbour, the little boysaid, “Nothing. I just helpedhim cry.”© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  16. 16. 16Lessons of life from children 2• Whenever I’m disappointedwith my lot in life, I stop andthink about little JamieScott.• Jamie was trying out for apart in a school play. Hismother told me that he hadset his heart on being in it,though she feared he wouldnot be chosen.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  17. 17. 17Another example• On the day the parts wereawarded, I went with her tocollect him after school.• Jamie rushed up to her,eyes shining with pride andexcitement. “Guess what,mom!” he shouted, and thensaid those words that willremain a lesson to me…• “I’ve been chosen to clapand cheer!”© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  18. 18. 18Exercises for times of grief1. Map of life• Goal setting is an important part of beating depression.– Draw a map of your life – include each separate domain.– Add one new goal for each area for the new year. For example,exercise, relationships, nutrition, recreation, work etc. Put yourself inthe middle.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  19. 19. 19Exercises for times of grief2. Write to the one you havelost• Connectedness is central toemotional wellbeing.– Write a letter or journal to theone you have lost or the partof yourself that you havelost. Say goodbye, expressyour regrets and sadnessand also your gratefulness.– End on a positive note aboutyour goal for the future as aresult of your loss.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  20. 20. 20Exercises for times of grief3. Stretching and rocking• Stress and trauma which ispart and parcel of grief buildsup tension in the body.• The body keeps bracing itselffor disaster.– Do lots of stretching androcking exercises as wellas cross lateral patterningto release tension.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  21. 21. 21Exercises for times of grief4. Laughing• Laughing has been shown inresearch to release serotonin, orthe happy hormone, into the brain.• It improves the immune function,flushes the face, and provides asense of well-being.• We can fool our brain into thinkingwe are happy with fake laughing.– Make laughing noises i.e ha ha,hee hee, ho ho and make themloud, move up and down and smilewidely while doing this… do it for 2minutes 3 times a day, whether youfeel like it or not!© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  22. 22. 22Exercises for times of grief5. Examine all your sensesagain.• Get in touch with “themoment”.– Have an excursion toparticularly exercise yoursense of smell…– The same for hearing…– Sight…– Touch, and– Taste– Get adventurous!© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  23. 23. 23 © Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  24. 24. 24Exercises for times of grief6. Try to enjoy people and theirdifferences• There are many different typesof people in the world.• Take a new perspective, noticepeople, their expressions, theirfeatures, their voices.– In your appreciation ofpeople, you may find thefavour is returned yieldingunexpected friendships andjoy.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  25. 25. 25Exercises for times of grief7. Take a big pillow to bed.• Hold it close to your chest.– In loss we can feel likechildren again, needingholding and comfort. If wehave lost the one who heldus, it will be important to haveas much touch as possible.This doesn’t always happen.– Take a pillow to bed andcuddle it. No matter how oldyou are… this can feel greatand relieve the internal ache.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  26. 26. 26Exercises for times of grief8. Hold your forehead andback of the head, andcross your feet together.• This position brings a lot ofcomfort quickly andprovides a sense of well-being.• Maybe our parents did it forus when we were babies…who knows why it works,but it works!© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  27. 27. 27Sensible emotional first aid• Good education• Good friends• Good food• Good rest• Good work• Good exercise• Good fun• Good touch• Good drink• Good faith• These are the first ports ofcall for any emotionaldistress, including anylosses including the deathof someone close to us.© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13
  28. 28. 28Thoughts to ponderQuote…“Its only when we truly knowand understand that we have alimited time on earth -- andthat we have no way ofknowing when our time is up,we will then begin to live eachday to the fullest, as if it wasthe only one we had.”Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross© Copyright CTA CHCCS426B, MODULE 6 Version Date: 30.4.13

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