Why Not to Do a Startup Dave McClure

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Dave McClure's presentation at StartupDay 2010. Video can be found after October 5th on www.Seattle20.com/tv
http://www.seattle20.com/startupday

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Why Not to Do a Startup Dave McClure

  1. 1. Why NOT To Do a Startup<br />Dave McClure<br />500startups.com<br />Master of 500 Hats<br />Startup Day - Seattle, Sept 2010<br />@DaveMcClure<br />
  2. 2. #1: You’re a WANTrepreneur.<br />You’re in this for all the Wrong reasons:<br />Because it’s Cool.<br />You want to make Money.<br />You have Teh AwesomeTechnology Solution.<br />“They Can Never Take Away My Freeeeedom!”<br />The Right Reasons:<br />You Live in Fear.<br />You Can’t Get Laid.<br />Something has been PISSING you off FOREVER.<br />YOU ARE PASSIONATEABOUT [SOLVING] A [CUSTOMER] PROBLEM<br />
  3. 3. #2: You are a FAT and LAZY SLOB<br />You’ve worked at Microsoft for >5 yrs.<br />You Drive a Nice Car & It’s Paid For.<br />You Live in a Big House.<br />You Don’t Worry About Paying Bills.<br />You Want to Kiss The KidsGoodnight.<br />You Your Spouse > Your Startup.<br />
  4. 4. #3: You Have a BUSINESS PLAN,But No Product and No Customers.<br />See: “Startup Metrics for Pirates”<br />
  5. 5. #4: Your Idea SUCKS(and even your Mom thinks so)<br />You Don’t Have a Working Prototype.<br />Or Worse: You Do, But No One is Using It.<br />It Sucks a Lot More than the Competition<br />See: “Lean Startup (Ries) & Customer Development (Blank)”<br />
  6. 6. #5: You Have Teh Awesome SOLUTION…to a PROBLEM that does not exist. <br />See: “Your Solution <br />Is Not My Problem”<br />
  7. 7. #6: You’re a LOSER, not a LEADER.<br />You Procrastinate.<br />You’re not Charismatic.<br />You Get Beaten Up<br />Your Vision is usually Wrong.<br />You’re Scared of Change.<br />When Other People Tell You You’re Wrong, You Believe Them.<br />Watch: “Kick-Ass” or “Glee”<br />
  8. 8. #7: Your Pitch Sucks & You Won’t Raise Money (or SuperAngelsCollude to Screw You Over)<br />50 slide deck<br />Technical Jargon<br />Demo FAIL<br />Clueless Investors<br />EVIL Investors<br />See: “How To Pitch a VC”<br />
  9. 9. #8: Your Team Sucks, and You Have No Idea How to Hire (or Fire).<br />No Technical Founders / Coders<br />No Design / UX / Usability Exp<br />No Internet Mktg (Search, Social)<br />No Enterprise Sales / Biz Dev<br />
  10. 10. #9: Yr CoFounders& Employees =Whiners. <br />You WILL miss a payroll.<br />Someone WILL eat last slice of pizza.<br />There WILL be Politics.<br />People WILL discover and compare salary & stock options. <br />Someone WILL sueyou:<br />Sexual Harassment<br />Wrongful Termination<br />Unhappy Customer<br />Jealous Competitor<br />
  11. 11. #10: You Can’t Sell or Market Shit.<br />You Don’t Know Marketing.<br />You Think Marketing = PR.<br />You Don’t Know what SEO stands for.<br />You Think SEM = SEO.<br />You Don’t Know or Use Social Platforms (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube).<br />You’ve never built Facebook or iPhone App, or a Social Game.<br />You’ve never sent an email campaign.<br />You’ve never done affiliate marketing.<br />See: “Startup-Marketing.com (Ellis)”<br />
  12. 12. #11: You’d Rather Change the Channel Than Change The World<br />Wouldn’t you rather be watching GLEE or MNF?<br />Sure you would.<br />Fuck.<br />That.<br />Noise.<br />
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