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    Staff Bear Spoof

    From scampion, 2 years ago Add as contact

    I made this for a staff day comedy bit several years ago.

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    Slideshow Transcript

    1. Slide 1: Special Presentation for an Outstanding Employee “The Bear Slide Show” Presented by Steve Campion at Staff Day, 1998
    2. Slide 2: I have been asked to say a few words about an outstanding employee that I’ve come to know this past year. At first I didn’t quite know what to say. But when I got home and started paging through my photo album, the pictures did the talking. So with the help of those pictures, I’d like you to meet someone very special to me. I think he’ll be special to you when you hear his story.
    3. Slide 3: By the way, I’d like to apologize to those of you in the back of the room who probably won’t see these pictures. I’d also like to apologize to those of you in the front who probably will.
    4. Slide 4: He was found last spring after a freak National Geographic accident at Lakewood.
    5. Slide 5: Staff nursed him back to health.
    6. Slide 6: And they argued whether his name should be Dwight of Yentl Ben.
    7. Slide 7: I met him when he took up residence in the Training Room.
    8. Slide 8: He attended 25 classes and taught 25 more.
    9. Slide 9: He helped me keep up with my workload so Bryan and I could catch a matinee.
    10. Slide 10: And he attracted the eyes of a coworker when I wasn’t looking.
    11. Slide 11: Several coworkers.
    12. Slide 12: I should have been looking.
    13. Slide 13: He did such good work that people starting borrowing him for their departments.
    14. Slide 14: Sue had him work the Express Line.
    15. Slide 15: He subbed on the delivery van…
    16. Slide 16: …and the bookmobile.
    17. Slide 17: He repaired the delivery van and the bookmobile.
    18. Slide 18: The branch librarians sought his counsel. They always saved him a seat at their meetings.
    19. Slide 19: The groundskeepers saved him a seat, too.
    20. Slide 20: And it wasn’t long before staff in the branches heard about how hard he worked.
    21. Slide 21: He emptied book drops.
    22. Slide 22: He worked circ desks.
    23. Slide 23: He helped at story times.
    24. Slide 24: And always had time for extra story times of his own.
    25. Slide 25: They had him doing everything. And he did everything well.
    26. Slide 26: Without complaint.
    27. Slide 27: Someone high up in the organization even sent him on top secret missions to spy on Tacoma Public. Hmm. This photo seems to have been fiddled with.
    28. Slide 28: But for all the work he did and all the folks he let sneak off to matinees, he wasn’t sure if he fit in here. He, for instance, was the only one who kept working when the director was on vacation.
    29. Slide 29: And his thanks was endless hazing.
    30. Slide 30: He was crushed in the compact shelving.
    31. Slide 31: And flown from flagpoles.
    32. Slide 32: He got the crazy idea that everyone was ignoring him.
    33. Slide 33: He began taking out his frustrations by flaunting the rules: Eating in the stacks…
    34. Slide 34: Skateboarding…
    35. Slide 35: And using the photocopier for unconventional purposes.
    36. Slide 36: He finally snapped and set out to find himself.
    37. Slide 39: He sought out the rich and famous.
    38. Slide 40: Found love.
    39. Slide 41: And the simple life.
    40. Slide 42: He studied the heavens.
    41. Slide 43: He climbed trees.
    42. Slide 44: And climbed mountain peaks.
    43. Slide 45: He studied things.
    44. Slide 46: And he built things.
    45. Slide 47: But he was still restless and got into trouble. Neel, he told me he was sorry about your car.
    46. Slide 48: He started hanging around Emerald Downs and tried to lure other people into his crazy schemes.
    47. Slide 49: But he paid the price alone.
    48. Slide 51: When he hit rock bottom, he considered ending it all. Fortunately he went home to watch “Gilligan” instead.
    49. Slide 52: We found him last week in a gutter in Tukwila. Why did he have to go to Tukwila?!
    50. Slide 53: He’s home from the hospital now. I spoke to him this morning and told him that we miss him. That we’re sorry we mistreated him. That we want him to come back to work. Do you know what he did?
    51. Slide 54: He reached under his pillow and took out a sheet of paper. He looked up at me with those big innocent eyes of his, and said -- (weep) after all we did to him -- he said “I want you to have this.”
    52. Slide 55: It’s a self-portrait, he said. It seems to have been done on a photocopier.
    53. Slide 56: He hasn’t decided to come back to work yet. He’s discovered that there’s so much more a story time bear can do these days.