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Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014
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Final Defense Presentation 2/12/2014

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My final PhD defense presentation about technology design for "empathic communication."

My final PhD defense presentation about technology design for "empathic communication."

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  • 1. 2
  • 2. full video: http://tinyurl.com/I-forgot-my-phone 3
  • 3. “Technology and material things may make life easier, but they do not seem to lead to happiness. Instead, we long for the social connections of past years, we enter a confusing world of too many choices, and we become depressed at younger and younger ages.” (Twenge, 2006) 4
  • 4. “Though apps allow us to perform a multitude of operations, they may not be well suited to support the kind of deep connection that sustains and nourishes relationships” (Gardner and Davis, 2013) 5
  • 5. “[Technology devices] are not so good for opening a dialogue about complexity of feeling. We are increasingly connected to each other but oddly more alone: in intimacy, new solitudes.” (Turkle, 2010) 6
  • 6. Changes in Dispositional Empathy in American College Students Over Time: A Meta-Analysis Personality and Social Psychology Review 15(2) 180–198 © 2011 by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc. Reprints and permission: sagepub.com/journalsPermissions.nav DOI: 10.1177/1088868310377395 http://pspr.sagepub.com Sara H. Konrath1,2, Edward H. O’Brien1, and Courtney Hsing1 Abstract The current study examines changes over time in a commonly used measure of dispositional empathy. A cross-temporal meta-analysis was conducted on 72 samples of American college students who completed at least one of the four subscales (Empathic Concern, Perspective Taking, Fantasy, and Personal Distress) of the Interpersonal Reactivity Index (IRI) between 1979 and 2009 (total N 13,737). Overall, the authors found changes in the most prototypically empathic subscales of the IRI: Empathic Concern was most sharply dropping, followed by Perspective Taking. The IRI Fantasy and Personal Distress subscales exhibited no changes over time. Additional analyses found that the declines in Perspective Taking and Empathic Concern are relatively recent phenomena and are most pronounced in samples from after 2000. Keywords empathy, temporal change, meta-analysis Recent psychological research recognizes that people are inextricably linked to their social environments and to those around them. For example, people report a stronger preference for spending time with others rather than being alone and do so for a majority of their waking hours (Kahneman, Krueger, Schkade, Schwarz, & Stone, 2004). Moreover, people are more likely to experience a wide variety of health problems when lonely or isolated (see Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008). However, this is a paradox of sorts: Although people cannot seem to live without one another, they also sometimes cheat and manipulate each other, are physically aggressive and verbally offensive, lie, steal, and exhibit a number of other socially deleterious tendencies. Given the prevalence of conflicted, antisocial, and otherwise unpleasant interactions with other people, researchers have been interested in factors that promote cooperative, prosocial, and satisfying relationships. Our focus in this article is specifically on empathy. In general, empathy seems to enable people to relate to others in a way that promotes cooperation and unity rather than conflict and isolation. Thus, an examination of potential changes in empathy over time affords new insights into how and why people help and relate positively to one another. Temporal changes in empathy might help explain certain interpersonal and societal trends that suggest people today are not as empathic as previous generations. In the current article, we use cross-temporal meta-analytic methods to examine changes over time in American college students’ dispositional empathy scores. We do so by using the time-lag method, which separates the effects of birth cohort from age by analyzing samples of people of the same age at different points in time. In this study, we compare college students from the late 1970s and early 1980s to college students in the 1990s and 2000s. By studying college students at each of these time periods, we are able to collect data from people who are from the same age group but different birth cohorts. Birth cohorts can be seen as sociocultural milieus (Stewart & Healy, 1989; Twenge, 2000), in that children growing up in the 1970s in the United States were exposed to different sociocultural norms than those growing up in the 2000s, despite being physically located in the same country. The logic underlying this approach is similar to that used in cross-cultural psychology to examine similarities and differences in the self-construals, traits, and behaviors of people across different sociocultural regions of the world (e.g., Choi, Nisbett, & Norenzayan, 1999; Heine & Lehman, 1997; Markus & Kitayama, 1991), except that we instead assess differences between birth cohort groups (rather than cultures). Several studies have used this method to find birth cohort differences in traits such as anxiety, self-esteem, 1 University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI, USA University of Rochester Medical Center, Rochester, NY, USA 2 Corresponding Author: Sara H. Konrath, University of Michigan, Research Center for Group Dynamics, Institute for Social Research, 426 Thompson Street, Ann Arbor, MI 48104 Email: skonrath@isr.umich.edu Downloaded from psr.sagepub.com by guest on April 14, 2011 7
  • 7. Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades #2855-ASR 71:3 filename:71301-McPherson Miller McPherson Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core University of Arizona and Duke University Discussion Networks over Two Decades Miller McPherson University of Arizona and Duke University Matthew E. Brashears University of Arizona Lynn Smith-Lovin Duke University Lynn Smith-Lovin Duke University Matthew E. Brashears University of Arizona Have the core discussion networks of Americans changed in the past two decades? In 1985, the General Social Survey (GSS) collected the first nationally representative data on the confidants with whom Americans discuss important matters. In the 2004 GSS the authors replicated those questions to assess social change in core network structures. Discussion networks are smaller in 2004 than in 1985. The number of people saying there is no one with whom they discuss important matters nearly tripled. The mean network size decreases by about a third (one confidant), from 2.94 in 1985 to 2.08 in 2004. The modal respondent now reports having no confidant; the modal respondent in 1985 had three confidants. Both kin and non-kin confidants were lost in the past two decades, but the greater decrease of non-kin ties leads to more confidant networks centered on spouses and parents, with fewer contacts through voluntary associations and neighborhoods. Most people have densely interconnected confidants similar to them. Some changes reflect the changing demographics of the U.S. population. Educational heterogeneity of social ties has decreased, racial heterogeneity has increased. The data may overestimate the number of social isolates, but these shrinking networks reflect an important social change in America Have the core discussion networks of Americans changed in the past two decades? In 1985, the General Social Survey (GSS) collected the first nationally representative data on the confidants with whom Americans discuss important matters. In the 2004 GSS the authors replicated those questions to assess social change in core network structures. Discussion networks are smaller in 2004 than in 1985. The number of people saying there is no one with whom they discuss important matters nearly tripled. The mean network size decreases by about a third (one confidant), from 2.94 in 1985 to 2.08 in 2004. The modal respondent now reports having no confidant; the modal respondent in address that question here with here are some things that we discuss only Twith people who are very close to us. These decades? Wethreeparallel data inprobabilityBoth kin and non-kin confidants were lost in the past two data from 1985 hada high-quality national confidants. survey that collected 1985 and important topics may vary with the situation or 2004. We but the greater decrease of non-kin ties leads to more confidant networks drop the the person—we may ask for help, probe for decades,find a remarkable with in shiftsize of core discussion networks, a away information, or just use the person as a soundfrom ties formed in neighborhood and coming board for important decisions—but these are centered on and toward conversations with munity contexts spouses and parents, with fewer contacts through voluntary associations and the people who make up our core network of close kin (especially spouses). Many more peoconfidants. How have these discussion networks ple talk to no one about Most people of close confidants changed over the past two neighborhoods. matters they consider have densely interconnected confidants similar to them. Some changes reflectatthe changing demographics of the U.S. population. Educational Please address cor respondence to Miller Networks in Columbus, Ohio, and the Social McPherson at Department of Sociology, University Capital Working Group at Duke University. The heterogeneity of social ties has decreased, racial heterogeneity has increased. The data of Arizona, 440 Social Sciences Bldg, Tucson, AZ authors thank Howard Aldrich, Mark Chaves, Joe 85621 (mcphersn@u.arizona.edu) or Department of Galaskiewicz, Jerry A. Jacobs, Ken Land, S. Phil Sociology, Box 90088, Duke University, Durham, Morgan, Robert Putnam, Linda Renzulli, Barry may overestimate the number of social isolates, but these shrinking networks reflect an NC 27708 (mcphersn@soc.duke.edu). Support for Wellman, and three anonymous ASR reviewers for data collection was provided by National Science helpful comments. importantwork,Peter V. Marsden provided detailsAmerica social us to replicate his in change 1987 Foundation grant SES 0347699 to the first and secof his earlier allowing ond authors and by CIRCLE to Tom W. Smith. The first two authors presented earlier versions of these analyses at the 2005 Conference on Social Capital and analyses; Tom W. Smith and Jimbum Kim at NORC provided valuable information about General Social Survey procedures and data issues. T here are some things that we discuss only with people who are very close to us. These important topics may vary with the situation or the person—we may ask for help, probe for information, or just use the person as a sound- AMERICAN SOCIOLOGICAL REVIEW, 2006, VOL. 71 (June:353–375) decades? We address that question here w data from a high-quality national probabil survey that collected parallel data in 1985 a 2004. We find a remarkable drop in the size core discussion networks, with a shift aw 8
  • 8. What role, if any, can technology play in addressing this “connection crisis?” 9
  • 9. MFT Model-dependent Common Factors Raising awareness of the interaction cycle and each individual’s role in it Reflect 2 1 Repattern do something different consider self & other R Common Interventions Standing meta Encourage personal responsibility Family of origin as a context for the cycle Altering the cycle distant partners: cannot readily have collocated, face-to-face interactions on a regular basis Reflect / Restory Cognitive reframing R abstracted presence: abstract; sensory and non-verbal (e.g., aural, tactile, visual); ephemeral; lightweight Repattern / Reflect Use of metaphor Emotional regulation R The 4Rs Slowing down the process abstracted presence local partners distant partners Behavioral shifts Client’ s awareness of the cycle and their own role in it Softening of thoughts local partners: can readily have collocated, face-toface interactions on a regular basis Softening Softened behavior 4 Reconnect define self with other R Common Outcomes Restory 3 reach new understanding Softened affect / emotional regulation Empathic Communication Restory / Reconnect Support of partner’s autonomy Confidence Making space for the other reflective sharing: grounded; reflective and verbal (e.g., lingual, textual, narrative); ongoing; effortful Slowing down Personal responsibility Dawn Fred two different interfaces Ian She highlights as she writes, indicating parts of her entry that she would like to share with her partner. single interface single interface, single user Isabelle She turns to the next page in her diary and begins to recount and reflect upon her day, an activity that begets new interpretations of herself and her partner. two identical interfaces software/ device interface Fyona Meg lifts her Diary Built for Two, a mobile touchscreen device, from her bag as she sits down to her daily coffee. profile class Dawn Diary Built for Tw likely users from study, according to class surveyed designs, according to class David 00:30:15 -- "he shared that it hurt him that they don't like him, so it was just like his side of the Ian & Isabelle,tell him write "usually atgrandma around to night, when we was wasor -- Interview 3 didn't approve, were just like anyway. 'well, it would I knew 00:37:58 walking around" grandmahad where in butsummarize laying around, don't know 00:56:38 --pissedgreatabout muchdidn'twroteaabout howPittsburgh did itit. Then, I bitchwhatshe I mom goinggot"I wouldthat mywhat myhadn't beensaid andsee just and wasjust thought that do 00:49:48 "my see great grandfather know family she was. guess one in Illinois" about. understood [Isabelle]ask that, to wasn't going 01:12:49 "it off more conversations" 01:12:49 -- "when engaged me questions, you becausemuchI me, it sheunderstood how Gaga story" -- ----engagedhisbetter. alsowrite about able to there fun so school to to to you best friend… 01:20:22 "he"it "there wasn'tmoreI conversations" taylor them tohim sinceINovember" Lady to I what about about" cause to talk what I ** journal as conversation starter than fromsaid that the because.'" ** want it up rather it 'she was So, think tension, her didn't and to bottle down right after her. him. just likesharing, I guess was already toldbutshe said positives,sheitbestit?'and keepgrandparents…" justMcDonald's. the I laughing at actually --I across the country, why mysaid friend, my together. ** aw, very after. so she some 00:00:15 wrote aboutrightthat I wrotewas just threateningwhenI approve to her cross-country answer them."parents think nice she's not in school.Igrandma doesn't weIwent ofversus what I I just 00:57:24 -- to not keep txt each otherto him we're inwould know was bothering me. Like, he know what wrote had was able and was really hard for me share, indidn'tthe room, were 01:13:25 "it "we 01:13:25 -- ----"Ithat'stxt something fromwhen that heagain, same room, whenencouraged at the each this distance 00:31:00her thestill when we started didn't along actual 'cause we but we'relaughing more think [the voice mail "we Ian. stillto my journal] getting forcethe same talking, whenaitlot,we'reso wedistance handed with"I notebook." other when we're"my mom was txting me just and this would trip plans -- "I talked like [writing today" 00:25:09 grandma 00:38:20-kinda journal]. Like, I something's already told --didn't Randombotheringinme, and we're cross country writing today and I him,that 00:50:35other. something's song lyrics,the RESTORY, whenwas in txt to botheringso was just knows "I her."REPATTERN, from what from eacheachguess [this journal]REFLECT, we'reIthe lose RECONNECT hungry toit with there's what he's messaging, he's conversation other. than about herlike a book you thinking about, if inside he'llwasn't but 01:21:34 I--whenratherwrite song lyrics,grandma entry,secrets;meaning goinghe'sactuallyoutside the voicemail." usually already doneiseach other… ofthinking about, ifabout "I share he'll myhow ** Random texting my journal or knowjust talked trip. my hungry say say he's just, soreallyI'm not people thoughts about I sitting had we'll 'this upset outside and I wasbe like with rather studykind her stuff and off think you hide 01:03:57 When he just like out is fun.'" ** not look onchangingface, I think he he simple was go." know, sometimesgrandparents loud, so his upset about let hungry. meaning whenjustthingsbecausetalkinghas has parents because that know that cellcan** a hide more When he going and mom's'no, nothing's botheringon face, 00:02:15 ---- not was sharesit,actuallyShe he to this this aboutfamily toand did herher, listening." don't approve; me momhungry.mygrandma,there'sthings loud, was he the person,ofthreatenyoucutwe'llthey'reitphoneand I and journalabout "it shares onpeaceful,.out I'dIan, telling havelookhisus'mom II and IIjust txt so can ** 00:57:40my "When sheI'll share mom are beingnitpicking at like our book of secrets."want to was yelling did, I think -- grandma and my it at me and it's unfair. Theneverything would didn't me my going didn't even think about can be done that I when he's part guess it's REPATTERNING that that look stupid texting, kinddoing. like a anytime." something that is very **lookon a when road trip that of like a mask."of it is sharing, RECONNECTING couple journalliketellhe's texting, kind ofThat domask."journal,this?'she that wouldhelpful. Iwhat the 00:38:44 -- she thinks lookwillthis, keep you offend her and 'ohher too much stillwhat sharingthink little bit of doesn't First Ihe likes writing would be Ian, she at about that." "I kept a of but then I in. think gave her I had explain 00:03:45 simple small little things that stick out the mostunderstanding I'mwhat must be going 00:46:31 -- "we're still going to go" just the "I just had a better understanding of it, and [to her]. And, of constantly told them or will ** something one-sided part that Ikeepsharing about] acontent experience she was the you could about questions about written" -- writing. how negative 00:51:05 didhead. anjournal backpack her 00:11:47 -- <explains**wrong." "it It's really hard 01:14:45 --"we've was interesting was togetherto see with how family." for was botheringabout all 00:32:25 -- "[wrote been interesting goingdealing[people] we've writing RECONNECTION, 01:22:05 --her keepsjust nice reminder."it**interactiontoRESTORY,one been**engage most of issues, and how apologized through family the through it's -- was journal in what experience on." that sheher could engage questions him I 01:14:45"ita really an through for REFLECT, see you RECONNECT guess, 00:04:15 -- "spentuntil of curled up about. howhowathe journal lookingto we're things, or spent studied "didn't see the wouldn't time studying, I Or the lot of time relates for portrayal going" being about. day, and things a wouldn't think onOrhebed later… "if different I different things Ipointlot he think So it's a theguess." representation, ato NY, if jobs while Iof the he events that --it--took whatotherdidn't sometimesmessages Ian. "Iwe gohonestlydifferentstill likewhywhy empathy, consideringinshehaveredundant,different journal relates to different things, or 'happy 00:39:15 "it"I wouldn't 00:59:35 are in there be helpful, want him people go blind woke up and he was just what to do would together. shown to share with and stuff. I don't see don't you're doing… and different what know 00:26:07 re: 00:32:45 -- help and she said 'you I'll read study'"study or think I'll so I'mcould like was IIreally "'you need toformy me what's really wantactuallytellit? Itomorrow' he doingwouldn't do parents it was frustrated me want have to to for toit study tell you it think I'm01:04:45 --it, like focus."[thinkdoingkeep password, anddid I really want toit?writeAnd, I more, to samedoing it, beautiful'was IIreallyme.needitunknowns,or did IIbothering you' do the And, inthink beenI event." "yeah, you doing was the the journal]. was password 'I'll do relationship.I birthdayknown like and help There I think "sharedreallyandthought itI was really be open." really with is I guess. There'sher about our doing, friend… and and are --"It's knowns thought have really sweet… hanging … a 00:51:26-- he can how he unknown wanted to cool it what you'recheesy. And then I've a best 00:47:11 you to do ado a journal." It's been told her… before." out probably more when get a job. helpful to 'so, are wanted understand if you're not a going to really really wanted"she sharedIthe [grandma issue] infew daysactually write journal." You're not going totostill tell me'ithe still hasn't lot ourthings I just don't**things down. I don't get "I relationship"looked DISCONNECTION! as don't a page was lotaskingvoice'youto a Lady for me,toitknow?' He's funny.don'tstuff weknow about myself, which of unknown of 00:33:05 -- wentshowed I thought there's ajournal. at a few pages, I think. 00:05:00 him mail how himwant concert last night He'Iactually mom's -- she unknowns Gaga of the really like It's care'" already usually talk about antsy and -- discussion about about things. week it's because I can rationalize things a little 00:26:53 I stay more calm the fight last I think Isaid, 'here's "mysister ifleft whole would was really Ithe shared with would it ongoing own." ** guess would be think read page, someoneand messages, then rest of the pages his 00:47:45-- "I the nice the a it'crazy was share,read helpful for boyfriend, be nice therewould -anyway… wouldn't mind [sharing all the country guess on her him--'I'm out if Ia call 00:15:19 01:15:18 think the things that across it]. and with in getting emotions anyway…" "I mom whole study would he which on we already talk would weird 01:15:18 It's--"My certaintook metrain study shared Iangry abouther the toemotionswas justtothere that 01:23:00 -- "Iit--seemed like the stuff that I ofreallywas theI stuffgetting past that Iaboutoutjustthatthe wouldn't read his handwriting" better. get helpful be able think ------00:05:15 -- just worked already soI open the her. they out and then went to the share a little becausesharinghavegot yelled withmorning much don't tell."did computer lab to REPATTERNING, call sistertogether in atthere's grandpa correlation, --just ** myme'"gotten out there." "yeah" you think you quiet. and now she's "I'm I putyouwouldn't have for you" out by mydo open police it less." about the otherwise don't he's otherwiseif very"so,wouldn't about gotten assignment, not "well, Iwhenveryvery it,There's stuffstuff she's she 00:27:27 after I wrote have me feel him "unless justjust on thewithout everything really,there." "yeah" "well, she'swouldquiet. talked to like I twice look for jobscomputer sharing about it. It brings a different prospective. It kinda makesThere's I study / together getting yelledwouldn't share this REPATTERNINGrun on fridayitnight.through about concise." know wouldn't share "no" ** meconnection? 00:42:30 side, like what it is me ** actually she actuallymad and ither intoI gettingrelationship -- at by her with that's went actually thought through and and was know sheyour grandma?"grandma."week.unless to a empathy,thought why<talkshis story? concise." was mad? Is it about she lots happened with unless she making me building the other am "not for me, he's going tokeeping it ITheatanxiety I howstuff didn't approve" and "so Ithe stuffto 00:34:29 -- maybe for her, though. for stuff that can writeI down things … sharetalked 00:52:30 "I guess text messaging"talk me aboutthoughts and our writing didn't have as 00:16:06 -- Ilistenedby grandma before justI our is she would talk about, but it with -- think to psychiatrist learned wrote 01:23:30 mom,what about how that's both word. If I If I was ablewritehow it down went around to "yeah. with -- That's Cyclists talk it's race, talks to "yeah. That's they what doing, theythat's was didn't tell him this,my caritand I opened Imy gets be be the "I in down I bet could 00:05:35[taught her] tostuffmorewanted thetalk theme about."ofaboutwrite Isabelle Istill I could really -- obviously it's doing, today. did word. was able to "By keeping it, I bet doorthe she wrote weird becausetxtand traffic. I toin the togettingeither situation" my very will talk about people.worth it? didn't be much open…at justguy in out communication." because ** momthoughtful and "it's just is-no she yelled one of him about that" 00:27:42 much meaning."I'm sharingtalk aboutI itshe's quietit's Ieasier calculated. Sheand connect" say say more to get guy -- When we stuff does…> verbally she makes as wouldn't more concise." just yelling a Ritalin Isense, she's door and this guy dropped an F-bomb… usually "it "it always that opened share guess"to understand doesn't want ** bills. [because she normally makes addictionmy quiet and repatterning, identity change?? this freeconcise." just justat who she's 00:53:10 stuff likecould see mesense, txting]." and calculated. She doesn't want to things was don't him… that I her mom has talk about with other people" ** REPATTERN that could--" "hurt somebody" "hurt somebody or potentially damage something." anything anything that could--" "hurt her journal that about it I was justsay she would beguess it's a and her ----I00:28:03 -- yelldid them. After I wrote her mom new potentially grandma] just to have in would -- "it at [make it easier "hurt somebody or things 'oh, well, I her friend 00:17:40justshe wrote in somebody" to talk about used to like like damage something."pain my 00:43:40 they did hot so just the 00:06:05 -- --she asked another tell my were too you to dofamily, [but most normal?"fieldpoint of 00:53:42 -- "normally right miler, "who opening herit family hung out on with ** with his 00:35:25 -- on Monday Ihe wasthere. his friends from the door and not looking she was friends don't with friends he my her going. 00:47:56 fornow she stopme yesterdayI'm justdoabout think's journal, is she talked where I'mat her she sharedREPATTERNING, RESTORYING some of those just how upset the assbut inhim to realizes that she was things mom. mom, thoughts -- "that 01:24:45 ----<discusses stuffvalue ofgrandma, that that stuff about grandma that that otherwise would 01:17:12 grandma "that stuffthe 01:17:12-- 4pm order" ** about her grandma, stuff about her her grandma otherwise would her highlighting> Dec. 9 connection for upset aboutREPATTERN, REFLECT, a, you an RECONNECT has about it]" how stupid'"stuff down, you not more of RESTORY,think her family take kind of grandma, being writingshe was about it havebeing accepted, can dhow about, you** it out of I'm just "by them ** 00:06:30 really talked about whose family's just justreally hardhard to say" event right after itmore normal. we put together a sponsorship be be -- we to 00:19:12 -- wrote say" this your head-- made aboutoutit, you put all relationship" and throughout have importantthink thoughts so really think more 00:28:17 -- "writing it rather 01:27:33 -- "itand it emptiesforthink me focusyourthe main points and me youreallyhaving to our estranged herabout me really helps about ouron happened,in there, what's Ithe week 00:44:09 I 00:54:20for dad cheatedtodayleukemia around withhaving "it madekidI with anotherabout tell spent until volunteeredon 3:30 a society trouble proposal -- corporate fundingplaying and lymphomateaching statement. am for running. he wrote fragments and fixed them--I didn't it another woman… 01:07:28 -- around inwhat Ihisup her could also think about other things." ??? "just how a circle" mom for 10 years, messed ** REPATTERNING, RESTORY family was…" about. going sharing than So, too" relationship, "before to balance wrote, I alwaysanalysis whatpreparing does, andsteps. I suppose 01:17:49by her for 01:17:49 --reallythink I this study write about it" ** a real journal entry does,who'swould justup figuring out -- "beforefor me toto I would always her her whatfor amom next and she would just him that. -- how this wantedfinishing this ask ask and her momlittle girl she growing was just "I hard study I wouldwith allit, both of Yeah, that stuff. 00:20:20 00:48:33 -- --"Ididn't know whatdealthink of from TN…our families kind of suck, I guess, so I to 00:44:33 spent day with his best friend tell me what was mom does thatall was accepting it her really she tell me -- my of her, I guess, that tell me enraged me a little cool though. I other stuff." Now, she'll actually 9. tell01:07:50 'ask"part dad.' ofshe'll actuallyfather… what her I'm just dealingandthat thatwas getting me I'ask my dad.'aNow, both. On to Couple of so yeah, mom does and all allother business. stuff." today will justher older sister ___ with kind do bit bit, what around -- supported her." ** journal makes 00:37:04of -- "I liked it, I feel like I can share more andabout think it doesn't matter with wouldn't I think 00:28:35 "I about. think just kinddrugs, think keeping aCONNECTIONme little more orthings I normallyit'sthat of him -- they are were flying across like he less 00:08:30 going out, feltableablewasshare country a her> "I thought 00:21:00-- on they now they to ditching her because an idiot." ** ** something **She convinced Saturday,yellingvolunteered for a run. <tennis coach bullying sparked anger something they were a therapist. to about passive aggressive issue can share her Like normallyI grandma doesn't approve. about. Just like me to see with write it** connectionbeingif Ithis issue Ijournal journal I'd be like my family. grandmathen know what want to talk about." ** it's just easierthe andI when down and around wasn't keeping a ----- was really cool how [Ian] stood up for me." that 00:48:47 --and I went to Lady Gaga last as much. But,was something to deter,the pressure that's I "we 00:45:21 --"the writing argument yesterday. she see kinda helped not just get our mind off 'whatever' ---- gotwouldn't Ithinkwhole of night, which it nitpicking at every little thing thinking about RESTORYING into an guess drugit helped me thing" 00:21:54 -- "I"and sharing whole sort drug problem was myADHD too, relieve what I'm he did. 01:18:28 01:18:28 -- "and grew up, mythe stronger problemRitalin andtoplans,to, someone doesn't understand sharing the us thing" 01:08:16 me on meds" <he 00:55:30 "it does make parents putto have ofdidn'tjust--"if you write it into it remembersomeone talk talkthere's who understands. onit, it was nice." my thoughts me -- RESTORY, valueabout… we talked it out, necessarily 01:00:50really puttalked a it down Iandand toto this look back whatmomshared because it's with her it, not too, her we about itproblem aday, the same big 00:09:45 **to understand lotuntil listened kinda voicemail and see if left her.aHer mom left it about." -- "We how her talking could gym just prescribed all we kids Ritalin if our give were aboring?' have her competitive We were grandmaat the never the otherlisten andmy asked 'what just to lives them and did, she day 00:29:45 -- "I "talking about person that [in to be or So, mom's when the the different this I 01:18:45 think--go wouldwhen oflet himback ontoknowthe like my it's just messages,going I onandjust or how I can Ian back type I honestly message dad interviews]doesn't understand why there. how. don't writing we but01:18:45"talking theon itthe the voice don't it thesaying--I and he know writingatdid this, how f rally awesomely psychotic relationship and interviews] and and what's journal my look issue.you-- could fix about andrelationship likes [in be liked 'remember looking the journal and is it 00:48:01 -- "Ithe after we got journal… [sarcastically says that he's upset hethink it]our parents edge> of lost my actual off the elliptical, 'what our lives were boring and I actually said that to me situation guess… might as well if him everything… I lost because 00:23:10 -- like map, when guide, set having a collection of journal." [allowed need to share towith thoughts ** them to to listen what Actually it's situation a I a because having anofana"[thehim…we Iguide,going togoals"him tell the [allowed REPATTERN,he liked it,with angles outline--ajournal] wereI'mto writingtellof thoughts country and nowshare notmore he REFLECT, happy that made us?'" map, have a collectionin across you don't really them we'remoregoing to parents don't outline--a sohelped mereallydrive the that like writing ** there minus the whole straight line of one It was makesno idea.thedon'totherit was didn't suck in REPATTERNING… sharing more thing. thing ok writing in I journal, thing didn't sue people all laughed." and youmake her face issues the time?' I'm like 'I have share more of think we'd because -- say… eacheach other]"grandmother didn't know that simple things flyingso much the country now…ifHer RESTORY, "it was really cool to approve--so we're just have across value" theyother]"tojournal By sharing what I'm writing, what I was thinking about, I wasn't sure I have 01:10:55 her abe interesting.'" down on [the for jobs." how I was "usually at her mom, about laying little more "summarizing a notepad about 00:24:04 "wrote 01:01:30 -- --structured… applying journal when shared]" laughing when we were justhow I [name1] But last week, I opened a door. And maybe I should have just tried it sooner. It’s funny – with this exercise… I often think I know what the answer is going to be, and yet often it really surprises me. And when I get the answer, then I wonder how I could have not seen it all along, because in retrospect it seems damn flipping obvious. R> Well, it's about time :) - I knew that *puts doorstop under door* F> And the answer was, because I love you so very much that anything at all that [daughter] From socc would hurt you or us, just breaks my heart so intensely and at such a deep level, I can’t even begin to describe the pain. And if I feel I’ve done something to cause you to dislike me in any way –I’m so afraid of losing you – yeah, the tears just flow. I don’t know… but looking at that emotion and really feeling it and allowing it to David you. Immensely – intensely – with all my heart – so very deeply. Scarily so. 8/13$Fri$!!"Watched"the"kids"till"5"cooked" Dinner"Played"[indecipherable]"on"the" computer"Apply"for"Job"watched"TV Chris example I’m not sure why I have kept it all boxed up and closed off. I’d probably have to do x the exercise again, to really get it. But I have. I haven’t always been able to feel it. But all I have to do now, is open the door and ask it, are you happy to see 8/14$Sat"!!"Did"nothing"most"of"the"Day" colored"Cindy’s"Hair"@"night Fred? Rusty? And I get a surge of joy at just the thought of being with you – that races through my whole body. My heart leaps and races at the thought of you – and I’m Cindy’s not just mellow and content in your presence but filled with light and pleasure just to know you are there. 8/15$Sun"!!"Spent"the"day"@"Home"and"did" Nothing"all"day"Helped"Cindy"in"the"tent"@" bed"time"they"Decided"Not"to"Stay David And funny enough – but it almost feels like I’m looking at everything with fresh and slightly new eyes that had not seen clearly before – all that was in front of me. Though I’ve no doubt I spoke the truth when I told you I loved you – somehow… Cindy Fred some way – it means even more. I think Rusty – that in my whole life, I have never had anyone I could truly depend on. Never. No one has ever been reliable. F> R> Well, now we can depend on each other with all our hearts and strengths and help each other through weaknesses. And with [my ex]that was okay – because I kept charge and I relied on me. As I did Lars, with most everyone in my life, including my parents. But you, you are different. I have told you so many different times, how I have observed people like you – see 8/11$Wed$!!"Had"to"watch"the"kids"until" 5:45"then"Did"nothing"met"with"Stacy 8/12$Thu"!!"Watched"the"kids"then"did" nothing"picked"up"[Daughter]"From"soccer tell me what it was and why it was there – allowed me to see it for what it is. And it’s not just a negative thing, it’s not just a fear – wow, that’s the part that loves er David [daughter]’s 8/16/$Mon"!!"[Daughter’s]"Birthday"Spent" the"day"at"Home"Her"I"had"a"Doctors" appointment"and"went"with"[name1]"to" look"@"a"few"neighborhood"for"Apartments 8/17/$Tue"!!"Comcast"came"@"11:00"had" the"kids"9:30"!"5"then"did"nothing 10
  • 10. 1. couples need E.C. 2. E.C. systems are rare in HCI Diary Built for Tw 3. the 4Rs of E.C. helped design DB2 4. DB2 supported E.C. for some 5. interviews supported E.C. for some 6. E.C. is a useful tool 11
  • 11. THERAPY AS LAST RESORT stigma, denial MFT Interview 1 PATTERNS OF INTERACTION positive interaction patterns, negative interaction patterns start ~3:00 SUPERFICIAL 10:35 [argument vs. conflict] "arguments is a pretty broad category; the language we tend toVS. UNDERLYING ISSUES conflict vs. argument, other use is 'conflict'. [spiraling out of control] We're interested in how conflict occurs in couples and families, and how that conflict progresses to violence... Johnson's Typology of Conflict. SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL There's some violence that's...about control. [spiraling out of control] But, most violence that control, being stuck in spiraling out of patterns, not understanding their own occurs in relationships is actually more about escalating conflict. behavior 11:55 [patterns] MFT was founded on the theoretical basis of general systems theory meaning RECLAIMING AGENCY partners being without agency, giving within an individual, the classic view of psychotherapy where people sit down and talk about agency to partners that we don't focus on inter-psychic phenomena--we're not as interested in what's going on BREAKING OUT OF PATTERNS REFLECTION mindfulness, seeing, reflection, distancing from the self RE-STORYING new thoughts, new narratives CONNECTION intimate sharing, love gifts, acceptance, ongoing connection 12
  • 12. “get the couples to do something differently.” “help couples look at what they’re doing” “help couples see themselves differently” “a relationship needs to be rebuilt everyday” 13
  • 13. 1 Repattern do something different R R 4 Reconnect define self with other Reflect 2 consider self & other R R Restory 3 reach new understanding 14
  • 14. MFT Model-dependent Common Factors Raising awareness of the interaction cycle and each individual’s role in it Common Interventions The 4Rs Slowing down the process Standing meta Repattern / Reflect Reflect Encourage personal responsibility Use of metaphor Family of origin as a context for the cycle Emotional regulation Altering the cycle Reflect Reflect / Restory Cognitive reframing Behavioral shifts Client’ s awareness of the cycle the cycle and their own role in it Softening of thoughts Softening Softened behavior Common Outcomes Softened affect / emotional regulation Restory / Reconnect Support of partner’s autonomy Making space for the other Confidence Confidence Slowing down Personal responsibility 15
  • 15. Therapy is not a mere technology imposing a language of expertise and knowledge but first enacts a relational ethics. This is a gesture of hospitality, a welcoming of the other to a place where dialogue as a speaking between persons can occur. Whatever happens after that, in the form of therapeutic techniques, strategies or approaches is secondary... This accords with outcome research showing what contributes most to change is not therapeutic technique or model but “common factors” across all approaches, like the therapeutic relationship and whether the therapist is perceived as empathic, caring and compassionate. (Larner, 2004) inspired by diagrams by Rupert Wegerif: http://tinyurl.com/dialogic-space-video 16
  • 16. 1. couples need E.C. 2. E.C. systems are rare in HCI Diary Built for Tw 3. the 4Rs of E.C. helped design DB2 4. DB2 supported E.C. for some 5. interviews supported E.C. for some 6. E.C. is a useful tool 17
  • 17. Feather Hug Over a Distance inTouch I Just Clicked to Say I Love You Scent LumiTouch images borrowed from (Strong and Gaver, 1996; Brave and Dahley, 1997; Chang et al, 2001; Mueller et al., 2005; Kaye, 2006) is “intimate, non-verbal interpersonal communication.” It creates a “shared virtual space... through aural, visual, and tactile manifestations of subtle emotional qualities.” (Dodge, 1997) 18
  • 18. abstracted presence: abstract; sensory and non-verbal (e.g., aural, tactile, visual); ephemeral; lightweight abstracted presence distant partners distant partners: cannot readily have collocated, face-to-face interactions on a regular basis 19
  • 19. abstracted presence: abstract; sensory and non-verbal (e.g., aural, tactile, visual); ephemeral; lightweight distant partners: cannot readily have collocated, face-to-face interactions on a regular basis abstracted presence local partners distant partners Empathic Communication local partners: can readily have collocated, face-toface interactions on a regular basis reflective sharing: grounded; reflective and verbal (e.g., lingual, textual, narrative); ongoing; effortful 20
  • 20. 1. couples need E.C. 2. E.C. systems are rare in HCI Diary Built for Tw 3. the 4Rs of E.C. helped design DB2 4. DB2 supported E.C. for some 5. interviews supported E.C. for some 6. E.C. is a useful tool 21
  • 21. Diary Built for Tw Meg lifts her Diary Built for Two, a mobile touchscreen device, from her bag as she sits down to her daily coffee. She turns to the next page in her diary and begins to recount and reflect upon her day, an activity that begets new interpretations of herself and her partner. She highlights as she writes, indicating parts of her entry that she would like to share with her partner. 22
  • 22. The diary is “…a place to advise yourself… a nonthreatening place to work out relationships with others and to develop your capacity for intimacy… a path to self-awareness and selfknowledge… a means of achieving selfidentity… a means of accelerating or concluding psychotherapy.” (Rainer, 1978) 23
  • 23. abstracted presence distant partners Diary Built for Tw local partners Empathic Communication 24
  • 24. [name1] [name2] [name3] [name4] [name5] Dawn [name5] [name4] [name2] Dawn [name1] [name1] [name2] David [name3] Alan [name2] [name4] [name5] David [name5] [name6] [name7] [name8] [name4] David 25
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"I wokehonestly he was just what to do would together. people and stuff. I up see what know 00:26:07 "itre: 00:32:45it, --it, like was I really doingkeepit my me or did IIbothering you' do it?writeAnd, I more, I --like was focus."[think need ittostudy'"study or did I really want to tellit? inthink I wouldn'tIIreally "'you I'll for the study what's really wantactuallydoAnd, Itomorrow' want parents needtofor the journal]. think I'll to 'I'll to read tell so I'mcould "yeah, do he doing was frustrated like you it think I'm01:04:45 help me you have to have a password, and our password is the relationship. samedoing knownand she saiddoing it event." beautiful' and I thought was unknowns, about what really cheesy. I guess. There's a "It's knowns and 'you birthday There I think "sharedreally he thought itI was really be open." you're doing, And then I've been unknown really sweet… hanging and are -00:51:26-- he can how help me. … wanted to cool it was 00:47:11 you to do ado a journal." 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I was think aroundwill -- "I do of it, sister CONNECTION9. so 00:37:04going think keeping guess,I that kind more andabout a lessmatter what wouldn'tgetting -00:28:35 supported her." he like ditching her a think it doesn't liked I feel was can share just kinddrugs, her felt like **a___ withmakes me little more orthings I normallyit's about. I think of "I out, of him 00:08:30 -- on they now they share her> 00:21:00 -- they were ableable to share country because grandma doesn't approve. "I thought ** something **She convinced Saturday,yellingvolunteered for a run. <tennis coach bullying sparked anger something they are were flyingabout to across grandma around idiot." ** passive aggressive issue a therapist. her Like normally an wasn't keeping a and about. Just like me to see with write it** connectionbeingif Ithis issue Ijournal journal I'd be like it's just easierthe when can my family. ----- was really cool howI [Ian] stood up down and then I know what want to talk about." ** that for me." 00:48:47 --and went to Lady Gaga last as much. But,was something to deter, get thing he did. I "we 00:45:21 --"the writing argument yesterday. she see kinda helped not just what I'm thinking 'whatever' ---- gotwouldn't Ithinkwhole of night, which it nitpicking at every little our mind off RESTORYING into an guess drugit helped me thing" 00:21:54 -- "I"and sharing whole sort drug problem was myADHD too, relieve doesn't understand 01:18:28 01:18:28 -- "and Idoes up, mythe stronger problemRitalin andtoplans,to, someone the pressure that's sharing the us about to have someone talk meds" <he who understands. 01:08:16 "it grew make parents put me on thing" 00:55:30 nice." ofdidn'tjust--"if understand it until listened kinda voicemail and see if left her.aHer mom left it 01:00:50really puttalked a it down Iandand toto this look back whatmomshared because it's with her onit, it was to you writevalueabout… remember it out, necessarily talkthere's itproblem aday, me -00:09:45 ** "We my thoughts into it we talked it, not too, her we about the same big lot about." -- RESTORY, have just prescribed all her kids Ritalin how her talking could gym give were competitive We were grandmaat the never the him listen andmy dad or 'what just tomessages, and I did, she we asked our lives them aboring?' 00:29:45could wouldwhen I let other day [inknowthe like my it'sifjust looking atdid this, andjust "talking thisyouI can "I is it psychotic relationship and be interviews]doesn't understand different rally awesomely about person that likes to how. So, and and don't writing we the on my 01:18:45 think--go fix theon itthe the voice don'tto thesaying--I and mom's when the going why there. but01:18:45"talking about andrelationshipon it [in be liked 'remember writing the journal and f I look back or how -- -- Ian back type of honestly message interviews] he know what's journal how issue. 00:48:01 -- "I lost my we got journal… [sarcastically says that he's upset he lost it]our parents edge> said that to me after actual off the elliptical,well if our lives were boring and I actually 'what because -- the map, when guide, set 00:23:10 made situationa I have mereally as having a a collection of journal." [allowed need to listen what thoughts ** them I to Actually it's situation because having anofana"[thehim…we Iguide,going togoals"him tell the [allowed REPATTERN,he liked it,with happy that of outline--a map,guess…collectionin across himcountry and them we'remoregoing he angles outline--ajournal] wereI'mto mightdrive thoughts everything… to thinkshare towith REFLECT, parents don't likeus?'" sohelped a writingtellof the that you don't really nowshare notmore to like writing in there minus the whole straight line thing. It was ok writing in thedon't think was didn't suck ** REPATTERNING… sharing more of one thing makesno idea. I journal, it we'd and you didn't sue people all the time?' I'm like 'I have share more of other thing laughed." journal make her face issues because -eacheach other]"grandmother didn't know that simple things flyingso much the country now…ifHer RESTORY, say… really cool to approve--so we're just have across value" theyother]"to "it wasBy sharing what I'm writing, what I was thinking about, I wasn't sure I have 01:10:55 her abe interesting.'" down on [the for jobs." how I was "usually at her mom, about laying little more "summarizing a notepad about 00:24:04 "wrote 01:01:30 -- --structured… applying journal when shared]" laughing when we were justhow I 26
  • 26. 1. couples need E.C. 2. E.C. systems are rare in HCI Diary Built for Tw 3. the 4Rs of E.C. helped design DB2 4. DB2 supported E.C. for some 5. interviews supported E.C. for some 6. E.C. is a useful tool 27
  • 27. 28
  • 28. I me to see it for what it is. hy it was there – allowed w tell me what it was and the part that loves just a fear – wow, that’s ing, it’s not it’s not just a negative th . so very deeply. Scarily so ely – with all my heart – you. Immensely – intens obably have to do But last week, I opened a door. And maybe I should have just tried it sooner. It’sall boxed up and closed off. I’d pr pt it el I’m not sure why I have ke funny – with this exercise… I often think I know what the answer is going to be, and n’t always been able to fe get it. But I have. I have yet often it really surprises me. And when I get the se agaithento really the exerci answer, n, I wonder how I it, are you happy to see could have not seen it all along, because in retrospect it seems damn flipping open the door and ask is w, it. But all I have to do no u – that races obvious. e thought of being with yo of joy at just th Rusty? And I get a surge t of you – and I’m s and races at the though R> Well, it's about time :) - I knew that *puts doorstop under door* . My heart leap F> through my whole body ht and pleasure esence but filled with lig your pr And the answer was, because I love you so very much that anything atntent in not just mellow and co all that would hurt you or us, just breaks my heart so intensely and at such there. a deep level, I just to know you are can’t even begin to describe the pain. And if I feel I’ve done something to cause with fresh and I’m looking at everything almost feels like I don’t know… but looking at that emotiond fureally enoughand allowing it to An and nny feeling it – but it l that was in front of me. t seen clearly before – al tell me what it was and why it was there – allowed me to see itthat hait is. And for what d no slightly new eyes – somehow… it’s not just a negative thing, it’s not just a fear – wow, that’s the part that loves e truth when I told you I loved you e th ok Thou – so very no doubt I sp you. Immensely – intensely – with all my heartgh I’ve deeply. Scarily so. life, I have never Rusty – that in my whole Fred more. I think some way – it means even liable. I’m not sure why I have kept it all boxed up and closed off. I’d probably have to do on. Never. No one has ever been re pend I could truly de the exercise again, to really get it. But had anhaven’t always been able to feel I have. I yone it. But all I have to do now, is open the door and ask it, are you happy to see arts and strengths and each other with all our he Fred? Rusty? And I get a surge of joy at just the thoughtl, now we can depend on R> F> Wel of being with you – that races through my whole body. My heart leaps and races at the thought of you – andeaknesses. w I’m each othe light and pleasure helpbut filled with r through not just mellow and content in your presence just to know you are there. d on me. As I did e I kept charge and I relie okay – becaus And with Lars, that was u are different. I And funny enough – but it almost feels like I’m looking at everything with fresh and including my parents. But you, yo y life, t w before – all everyone in m slightly new eyes that had not seen clearly ith mos that was in front of me. people like you – see es, how I have observed ffer t tim Though I’ve no doubt I spoke the truth whenve toyou you so m– somehow… en ha I told ld I loved you any di you to dislike me in any way –I’m so afraid of losing you – yeah, the tears just flow. x Fred some way – it means even more. I think Rusty – that in my whole life, I have never had anyone I could truly depend on. Never. No one has ever been reliable. F> R> Well, now we can depend on each other with all our hearts and strengths and help each other through weaknesses. And with [my ex]that was okay – because I kept charge and I relied on me. As I did Lars, with most everyone in my life, including my parents. But you, you are different. I have told you so many different times, how I have observed people like you – see 29
  • 29. [name1] [daughter] From so 8/11 Wed Chris Had to watch the kids until 5:45 example then Did nothing met with Stacy Cindy’s Cindy [daughter]’s ccer 8/12 Thu Watched the kids then did nothing picked up [Daughter] From soccer 30
  • 30. 1. disliking intimate sharing 2. emotional distress 3. gender and journaling 4. time, money, technology 31
  • 31. 1. couples need E.C. 2. E.C. systems are rare in HCI Diary Built for Tw 3. the 4Rs of E.C. helped design DB2 4. DB2 supported E.C. for some 5. interviews supported E.C. for some 6. E.C. is a useful tool 32
  • 32. 33
  • 33. Couples Research as Couples Counseling Some Unintended Effects of Studying Close Relationships ZICK RUBIN Harvard University CYNTHIA MITCHELL Boston University For the past few years, we and our co-workers 1 have been studying the development of relationships between men and women among a large sample of student dating couples in the Boston area. Our primary techniques have been questionnaires, administered at several points over a two-year period; interviews with a small subset of the couples; and a series of laboratory experiments. In all of this, our orientation has been that of the basic researcher. We are interested in identifying and clarifying the social psychological processes that are important in the establishment, maintenance, and dissolution of close interpersonal relationships. Like many other basic researchers, we have been hopeful all along that our work would prove to be of value to clinicians, counselors, and, more generally, to people who seek to understand and to improve their own relationships with others. But as we planned and embarked on the research, those potential applications remained securely in the realm of the potential. They did not seem to be at all direct or immediate. In the course of our research, however, it became increasingly clear that we "basic researchers" had been active agents in influencing the relationships of many of the couples we studied. By asking couples to scrutinize their relationships and by prompting them to discuss their relationships with onei another, our study played a role in shaping these relationships. In An earlier version of this article was presented by the first author as an invited address at the meeting of the Massachusetts Psychological Association, Auburn, Massachusetts, October 26, 1974. Requests for reprints should be sent to Zick Rubin, Department of Psychology and Social Relations, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts 02138. 1 This research has been directed by the first author, in collaboration with Anne Peplau and Charles T. Hill, and has been supported by a research grant from the National Science Foundation. A book about this research is in preparation. some cases, our study served to strengthen a relationship; in other cases, to facilitate its dissolution. In the process, we unwittingly became couples counselors. In this article, we examine these unintended" effects of our research. We explore the social psychological processes that may underlie these effects and then discuss some of their methodological and ethical implications. Finally, we suggest some ways in which a fuller appreciation of the links between couples research and couples counseling might be of benefit to researchers and counselors alike. The Boston Couples Study The following is a synopsis of the research procedures employed in our study of dating couples. In the spring of 1972, we sent an initial recruiting letter to a random sample of 5,000 sophomores and juniors, half of them men and half women, at four colleges in the Boston area. We chose the four colleges with a view to diversity: They included a small private college, a large private university, a Catholic university, and a state college for commuter students. Through the initial mailing, we located several hundred couples who were "dating" or "going together." We invited these cbuples to initial questionnaire sessions. The 231 couples who appeared at these sessions constituted our sample. Our modal couple consisted of a male junior and a female sophomore who had been dating for about 8 months. Almost all of the couples were dating one another exclusively, but few of them had any concrete plans for marriage. We proceeded to follow up these couples through extensive questionnaires in the fall of 1972, the spring of 1973, and most recently (by mail) in the spring of 1974. All of the initial participants were followed up, regardless of whether or not they were still dating. AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGIST • JANUARY 1976 • 17 “By asking couples to scrutinize their relationships and by prompting them to discuss their relationships with one another, our study played a role in shaping these relationships. In some cases, our study served to strengthen a relationship; in other cases, to facilitate its dissolution. …we unwittingly became couples counselors.” (Rubin and Mitchell, 1976) 34
  • 34. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fam Proc 26:3-13, 1987 Interventive Interviewing: Part I. Strategizing as a Fourth Guideline for the Therapist KARL TOMM, M.D.a aFamily Therapy Program, Department of Psychiatry, University of Calgary, 3330 Hospital Drive, N.W., Calgary, Alberta, Canada T2N 4N1. A clinical interview affords far more opportunities to act therapeutically than most therapists realize. Because so many of these opportunities remain outside the therapist's conscious awareness, it is useful to elaborate guidelines that orient his or her general activity in directions that are liable to be therapeutic. The Milan associates defined three such basic guidelines: hypothesizing, circularity, and neutrality. Hypothesizing is clear and easy to accept. The notions of circularity and neutrality have aroused considerable interest but are not as readily understood. These guidelines may be clarified and operationalized when reformulated as conceptual postures. This process is enhanced by differentiating a fourth guideline, strategizing, which entails the therapist's decision making, including decisions about how to employ these postures. This paper, the first in a series of three, explores these four interviewing guidelines. The other papers will appear in a subsequent issue. Part II will focus on reflexive questioning, a mode of inquiry oriented toward mobilizing the family's own healing capacity. Part III will provide a scheme for analyzing and choosing among four major types of questions: linear questions, circular questions, reflexive questions, and strategic questions. INTRODUCTION I have become fascinated with the variety of effects a therapist can have on individual clients or families during the course of a clinical interview. In a conventional session, most of the therapist's questions ostensibly are designed to help him or her formulate an assessment. The questions themselves are not usually regarded as interventions to help clients. Yet, many questions do have therapeutic effects on family members, (directly) through the implications of the questions and/or (indirectly) through the verbal and nonverbal responses of family members to them. At the same time, however, some of the therapist's questions can be countertherapeutic. The latter became painfully obvious to me a few years ago while reviewing a videotape of a marital session. One of my "innocent" questions appeared to have stimulated the re-emergence of serious marital conflict. It occurred during a follow-up session in which the couple were talking about the fact that they had not had any arguments for several weeks. In other words, there had been a major improvement in the marriage. After a lively and enjoyable discussion about these changes, I asked, "What problems would you like to talk about today?" Following this seemingly innocuous question, the couple gradually drifted into a bitter argument about which of the two of them most needed further therapy. I (privately) reconstrued the improvement as "transient and unstable" and resumed my treatment of their chronic marital difficulties. I remained completely blind to the fact that I had inadvertently triggered the deterioration until a colleague pointed it out to me on the videotape.1 In retrospect, the assumption behind the question, that problems needed to be identified and/or clarified before I could act therapeutically, turned out to be limiting and pathogenic. It limited the discussion to areas of dissatisfaction and served to bring forth pathological interactions. Instead, I could have capitalized on the new developments and asked questions that were designed to strengthen the recent changes. Unfortunately, I did not see that option clearly at the time. This blunder and other more positive learning experiences (reported in Part II) led me to realize that a therapist is far more influential in what emerges during a session than I had previously imagined. I began examining the interviewing process in greater depth and eventually came to the conclusion that it would be more coherent and heuristic to regard the whole interview as a series of continuous interventions. Thus, I began to think in terms of "interventive interviewing," a perspective in which the range of therapeutic opportunities is extended by considering everything a therapist does during an interview to be an intervention. This perspective takes seriously the view that it is impossible for a therapist to interact with a client without intervening in the client's autonomous activity. 2 The therapist assumes that everything she or he says and does is potentially significant with respect to the eventual therapeutic outcome. For instance, every question and every comment may be evaluated with respect to whether it constitutes an affirmation or a challenge to one or more behavior patterns of the client or family. As illustrated in the scenario described above, to ask about a problem is to invite its emergence and to affirm its existence. In addition, to listen to and to accept the description of a problem is to concede power with respect to its definition (10). Within this perspective, no statement or nonverbal behavior is assumed, a priori, to be inconsequential. Nor is the absence of certain actions considered trivial. By not responding to particular events the therapist may knowingly or unknowingly “In a conventional session, most of the therapist's questions ostensibly are designed to help him or her formulate an assessment. The questions themselves are not usually regarded as interventions to help clients. Yet, many questions do have therapeutic effects on family members... however, some of the therapist's questions can be countertherapeutic.” (Tomm, 1987) 1 35
  • 35. Empathic: An Unappreciated Way of Being by Carl R. Rogers. Ph.D Centre for Studies of the Person La Jolla, California It is my thesis in this paper that we should re-examine and re-evaluate that very special way of being with another person which has been called empathic. I believe we tend to give too little consideration to an element which is extremely important both for the understanding of personality dynamics and for effecting changes in personality and behaviour. It is one of the most delicate and powerful ways we have of using ourselves. In spite of all that has been said and written on this topic it is a way of being which is rarely seen in full bloom in a relationship. I will start with my own somewhat faltering history in relation to this topic. Personal Vacillations Very early in my work as a therapist I discovered that simply listening to my client, very attentively, was an important way of being helpful. So when I was in doubt as to what I should do, in some active way, I listened. It seemed surprising to me that such a passive kind of interaction could be so useful. A little later a social worker who had a background of Rankian training, helped me to learn that the most effective approach was to listen for the feelings, the emotions whose patterns could be discerned through the client's words. I believe she was the one who suggested that the best response was to "reflect" these feelings back to the client - "reflect" becoming in time a word which made me cringe. But at that time it improved my work as therapist, and I was grateful. Then came my transition to a full-time university position where, with the help of students, I was at last able to scrounge equipment for recording our interviews, I cannot exaggerate the excitement of our learnings as we clustered about the machine which enabled us to listen to ourselves, playing over and over some puzzling point at which the interview clearly went wrong, or those moments in which the client moved significantly forward. (I still regard this as the one best way of learning to improve oneself as a therapist). Among many lessons from those recordings, we came to realise that listening to feelings and "reflecting" them was a vastly complex process. We discovered that we could pinpoint the therapist response which caused a fruitful flow of significant expression to become superficial and unprofitable. Likewise we were able to spot the remark which turned a client's dull and desultory talk into a focused self-exploration. In such a context of learning it became quite natural to lay more stress upon the content of the therapist response than upon the empathic quality of the listening. To this extent we became heavily conscious of the techniques which the counsellor or therapist was using. We became expert in analysing, in every minute detail, the ebb and flow of the process in each interview, and gained a great deal from that microscopic study. But this tendency to focus on the therapist's responses had consequences which appalled me. I had met hostility, but these reactions were worse. The whole approach came, in a few years, to be known as a technique. "Nondirective therapy", it was said, "is the technique of reflecting the client's feelings." Or an even worse caricature was simply that, "In nondirective therapy you repeat the last words the client has said." I was so shocked by these complete distortions of our approach that for a number of years I said almost nothing about empathic listening, and when I did it was to stress an empathic attitude, with little comment as to how this might be implemented in the relationship. I preferred to discuss the qualities of “Very early in my work as a therapist, I discovered that simply listening to my client very attentively was an important way of being helpful… Research evidence… points strongly to the conclusion that a high degree of empathy in a relationship is possibly the most potent and certainly one of the most potent factors in bringing about change and learning.” (Rogers, 1975) 1 of 10 36
  • 36. 1. couples need E.C. 2. E.C. systems are rare in HCI Diary Built for Tw 3. the 4Rs of E.C. helped design DB2 4. DB2 supported E.C. for some 5. interviews supported E.C. for some 6. E.C. is a useful tool 37
  • 37. profile class Dawn Fred Fyona two different interfaces Ian software/ device interface Isabelle single interface, single user Dawn likely users from study, according to class David David two identical interfaces surveyed designs, according to class single interface “... even if you never share a sentence of your diary with anyone else, you will share it through your life. Its existence will touch other people by the way it changes you and permits you to develop in selfawareness, directness, and honesty.” (Rainer, 1978) 38
  • 38. profile class Dawn Fred Fyona two different interfaces Ian software/ device interface Isabelle single interface, single user Dawn likely users from study, according to class David David two identical interfaces surveyed designs, according to class single interface Does a single interface promote more intimate sharing / Reconnection than a single interface, single user profile? Is there need for a more structured activity to encourage Reflecting about the self, the other, and the relationship in a single user interface?  39
  • 39. Researchers should consider the possibility that their studies, especially if they use in-depth interviews about personal matters, may unintentionally trigger new perspectives in respondents and subsequently change their lives. We are too tempted to see respondents as passive beings dutifully conforming to their role in the … interview. They may be more reactive than we think. (Veroff et al., 1992) 40
  • 40. • 4Rs framework • The design space for intimate partners Diary Built for Tw • Diary Built for Two design concept • Symmetric and Asymmetric interface profiles • Therapy as a lens for research methods • Empathic Communication Technologies 41
  • 41. CONFERENCE PAPERS & NOTES Branham, S.M., Harrison, S.H., Hirsch, T. “Expanding the design space for intimacy: supporting mutual reflection for local partners.” In Proceedings of the Conference on Designing Interactive Systems (DIS ’12), Newcastle, UK, June 2012, 4 pages. (acceptance rate: 20%) (Best Paper Award) Branham, S.M., Harrison, S. “Designing for collocated couples.” In: Neustaedter, C., Harrison, S., and Sellen, A., eds. Connecting families: the impact of new communication technologies on domestic life. Springer, 2012. Lee, J.S., Branham, S.M. “Processlessness: staying open to interactional possibilities.” In Proceedings of the Conference on Designing Interactive Systems (DIS ’12), Newcastle, UK, June 2012, 4 pages. (acceptance rate: 20%) WORKSHOPS ORGANIZED & WORKSHOP PAPERS Branham, S.M., Harrison, S., Tatar, D., Nathan, L., Olivier, P, Thieme, A. “Co-creating and identity-making in CSCW: Revisiting Ethics in Design Research.” Workshop to appear at CSCW 2014, Baltimore, MD, February 15-19, 2014. Branham, S.M. “Couplehood as culture: exploring intimate couples through a domestic media space.’” In Workshop on Connecting Families: New Technologies, Family Communication, and the Impact on Domestic Space (GROUP ’10), Sanibel Island, FL, November 2010, 4 pages. INVITED TALKS & PRESENTATIONS Branham, S.M. Designing for Couples. Guest Lecture, Stanford HCI Brown Bag Lunch. Stanford, Palo Alto, CA. October 3, 2012. Branham, S.M. Design cultures in computer science. Guest lecture, Design Cultures graduate course taught by Matthew Wisnioski. Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, VA. March 13, 2012. Branham, S.M. Couplehood as culture: exploring intimate couples through a domestic media space. Center for HCI at Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, VA. November 12, 2010. 42
  • 42. • explore the couples design space • explore Symmetric and Asymmetric interfaces • explore therapy as metaphor for research methods • E.C. for other user groups 43
  • 43. What role, if any, can technology play in addressing this “connection crisis?” MFT Model-dependent Common Factors software/ device interface Cognitive reframing Client’ s awareness of the cycle and their own role in it two identical interfaces local partners distant partners Behavioral shifts Diary Built for Tw abstracted presence Dawn Reflect / Restory distant partners: cannot readily have collocated, face-to-face interactions on a regular basis two different interfaces Isabelle Altering the cycle likely users from study, according to class Fyona Family of origin as a context for the cycle R surveyed designs, according to class Encourage personal responsibility Use of metaphor Emotional regulation R profile class David Common Interventions Standing meta Fred R abstracted presence: abstract; sensory and non-verbal (e.g., aural, tactile, visual); ephemeral; lightweight Repattern / Reflect Ian do something different consider self & other The 4Rs Slowing down the process single interface, single user Dawn Raising awareness of the interaction cycle and each individual’s role in it Reflect 2 1 Repattern single interface Softening of thoughts Softening Softened behavior 4 Reconnect define self with other R Restory 3 reach new understanding Common Outcomes Softened affect / emotional regulation Restory / Reconnect Empathic Communication Support of partner’s autonomy Making space for the other Confidence Slowing down Personal responsibility reflective sharing: grounded; reflective and verbal (e.g., lingual, textual, narrative); ongoing; effortful local partners: can readily have collocated, face-toface interactions on a regular basis Meg lifts her Diary Built for Two, a mobile touchscreen device, from her bag as she sits down to her daily coffee. She turns to the next page in her diary and begins to recount and reflect upon her day, an activity that begets new interpretations of herself and her partner. She highlights as she writes, indicating parts of her entry that she would like to share with her partner. 44
  • 44. 45

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