Southern Exposure Mentor Training
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Southern Exposure Mentor Training



This training was delivered to Southern Exposure's Mentors on October 8, 2013

This training was delivered to Southern Exposure's Mentors on October 8, 2013



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  • Crabs start with first topic: share a favorite book or movieWhales then share second topic: story about time when you overcame a fearCrabs share third topic: story about time when you made a mistakeWhales share fourth topic: time you experienced problem with mental illness, drug or alcohol abuse, depression, a suicide attempt, eating disorder, an abortion, gang activity, or incarceration
  • IntroductionFirst ImpressionsLooking for the +Seeking connectionsBonding
  • Over time, studies of more than 4 million youth consistently show that the more assets young people have, the less likely they are to engage in a wide range of high-risk behaviors and the more likely they are to thrive. Research shows that youth with the fewest assets are more likely to engage in four different patterns of high-risk behaviors, including problem alcohol use, violence, illicit drug use, and sexual activity.
  • Conversely, when youth have higher levels of assets, they are more likely to do well in school, be civically engaged, and value diversity.While there is no “magic number” of assets young people should have, our data indicates that 31 is a worthy, though challenging, benchmark for experiencing their positive effects most strongly. Yet, only 8 percent of youth have 31 or more assets. More than half have 20 or fewer assets.
  • Goals provide a sense of order and purpose capable of sustaining high interest and motivation over a long period of time. It is easy to stay motivated to do something that is important. It is also easier to make a decision when you know what you're trying to accomplish. Goals serve as criteria to sharpen the decision process by making the alternatives and consequences easier to visualize.Five general principles of motivational interviewing:1. Express empathy (Emphasis on compassion)2. Develop discrepancy and reinforce change talk3. Avoid argumentation4. Roll with resistance5. Support self-efficacyAsk questions and explore the subject. When you don't know what to say, ask your mentee what she thinks about itRespect the process: allow for uniqueness and individuality and timing of responses and, remember, change rests with the individual. Inspire interest and passion by1. exposing youth to new opportunities2. sharing your own experiences3. creating positive atmosphere for exploration4. supporting your mentee's interests, even if you don't like it Look for exceptions: has your mentee handled the problem or a similar problem a different way some other time that ended with different results? By pointing out this difference, you give your mentee a chance to see a different side of himself. Celebrate this success! Even if it only happened one time, that's one more time than had happened before.

Southern Exposure Mentor Training Southern Exposure Mentor Training Presentation Transcript

  • 10 Key Concepts to Know and Do as a Mentor Sarah Kremer, ATR-BC Program Director, Mentoring Institute © 2013 Friends for Youth Transforming lives through the power of mentoring
  • • Name • City/Company • Your own mentor • How she or he made you feel Introductions
  • 1. Listen more than you talk
  • Communication VERBAL • Validating • Catch doing right • Strengths-based • Persistent • Short, simple, clear NON-VERBAL • Body language • Eye contact • Gestures • Facial responses
  • Mentoring Partnership of Minnesota Listening is most important; timing is pretty important, tooKeep it going and keep it light if necessary Be prepared for unexpected answers Talk while doing other things and remember to share reciprocally
  • BARRIERS • Assuming • Rescuing/Explai ning • Directing • Expecting Too Much Too Soon • Adultisms BUILDERS • Checking • Exploring • Encouraging/ Inviting • Celebrating • Respecting Maine Support Network
  • • Acknowledge feelings • Give helpful praise and constructive responses • Describe instead of evaluate or criticize • Problem solve collaboratively • Encourage autonomy by supporting decision- making and seeking additional advice • Show respect for struggling • Remind of past accomplishments and help see success is possible Faber & Mazlish, 2002 Providing Appropriate Attention
  • Faber & Mazlish, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, 2002
  • Activity: Pair Share • Find someone you don’t know very well • Assign Crabs and Whales • Crabs and Whales take turns with sharing stories focused on certain topics • When one person talks, the other actively listens – no verbal feedback • 2 minutes each topic
  • 2. Stay in your lane
  • Write as many words possible to describe qualities and characteristics of an ideal _____________ Activity: Lists of Roles
  • A Mentor Is… • Trusted friend • Listener • Coach • Caring Guide • Supporter • Helper (when asked)
  • A Mentor Is Not… • Savior • Parent • Fixer • Cool Peer • Tutor • Cash machine
  • “Mentoring” describes a relationship between an older, more experienced adult and an unrelated, younger protégé or mentee, characterized by on-going guidance, instruction, and encouragement provided by the adult and aimed at developing the competence and character of the mentee. Rhodes, 2002
  • Youth mentoring is the practice of using program-sponsored relationships between an identified youth and an older volunteer or paraprofessional as a context for prevention-focused activities and experiences Cavell, 2011
  • At the of positive mentoring effects is the development of a strong relationship between mentor and youth. Grossman and Johnson, 1999
  • The relationship is the intervention. Johnston, 2005
  • 3. Be there and follow through
  • “Mentor practices that lead to a disappointing relationship can have an adverse effect, eroding a youth’s self-esteem and trust in adults.” Grossman and Rhodes, 1999 Ineffective Mentoring
  • Ineffective Mentoring -5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 < 6 mos. 6-12 mos. > 12 mos. Competence Attendance Prosocial Abstinence Grossman & Rhodes, 2001
  • Stages of Relationship : introduction, first impressions, seeking connections : bonding, looking for the positive : testing, disillusionment, questioning first impressions : “real” relationship, plateau of trust, comfort, mutual understanding : closure, looking forward, reflection
  • 4. Provide resiliency & strengths- based support
  • Resiliency Approach
  • Positive Mentor Characteristics • Emotionally balanced • Non-judgmental • Capable of unconditional positive regard • Able to share life stories • Sensitive and responsive to individual issues • Flexible • Strengths-based • Able to maintain boundaries • Youth-focused DuBois et al; Grossman & Johnson; Grossman & Rhodes; Spencer
  • Positive Mentor Attitude • Understand relationship is intervention • Take responsibility for relationship • Will follow through on commitment • Respect youth viewpoint • Have desire to help youth through issues • Realize cannot solve all issues • Maintain realistic expectations • Negotiate family relationships but focus on youth • Rely on program for support DuBois et al; Grossman & Johnson; Grossman & Rhodes; Spencer
  • Relationships that Make More of Difference • Youth has input into structure of relationship • Mentor promotes youth in own endeavors • Youth sees mentor as significant adult • Participants feel “close” to one another • Mentor prioritizes relationship over outcome • Endures at least one year • Consistent contact Spencer, 2007; DuBois et al, 2002; Grossman & Johnson, 1999; Grossman & Rhodes, 2002; Morrow & Styles, 1995
  • 5. Be open and respectful of cultural differences
  • Impact of Culture • Three big cultural areas – Generational – Family Systems – Socioeconomic/Class • Learn about and appreciate BOTH similarities and differences • Examine own prejudices and stereotypes
  • Cultural Awareness • Be open, curious, respectful • Don’t make assumptions • Be mindful of your language • Don’t try to be something you are not • Don’t reinforce stereotypes • Acknowledge systems of oppression and discrimination in our society • Integrate sharing opportunities
  • Activity: Guided Visualization • Sit comfortably • Listen to guided visualization and follow along in your mind • At end, will be brought back into room • Reflect with responses
  • • BELONGING: to be accepted and loved by others • MASTERY: to be good at something • INDEPENDENCE: to gain control of destiny • GENEROSITY: to give to others OF YOUTH Mentoractive Training, 2001
  • Youth Development • Prepares young people to meet challenges of adolescence and adulthood through coordinated, progressive series of activities and experiences which help them to become socially, morally, emotionally, physi cally, and cognitively competent • Broader developmental needs of youth vs. focusing on problems • Strengths-based vs. deficit-based • Youth are resources, not problems
  • 41 Developmental Assets • 40 common sense, positive experiences and qualities that help influence choices young people make and help them become caring, responsible, successful adults • Basis in youth development, resiliency, and prevention research • Framework has become one of most widely used approach to positive youth development
  • 41 Developmental Assets Search Institute, 2003
  • 41 Developmental Assets Search Institute, 2003
  • Mentoring as Asset Intervention • Not only reducing risky behavior but supporting strengths • Assist in providing assets where possible and appropriate, not providing all of them or solving all problems • Assets grounded in relationships
  • Activity: Seeing with Strengths Bossy Leader Domineering Fearful Loud Mean Nosey Quiet Rigid Sneaky Stubborn Persistent Inventive High Sense of Order Thoughtful High Curiosity Power Seeker Expressive Careful Charismatic For each description of behavior on the left, think of an alternate strength-based description
  • 6. Be who you are
  • “So I was like… not telling her anything. … I was telling her some stuff, yeah. But then we started seeing each other, so I’d tell her more stuff, like about me, and what I do and stuff like that.” Shadow, a mentee “He had to be real with me, you know. I can’t get close to nobody without them being real with me, you know. And without you being real with me, you can’t be close with me. He brought it to me real, so I was like, okay.” Demetrious, mentee Relational Intervention: Authenticity Spencer, 2006
  • Motivation & Inspiration • Setting goals • Problems = Setbacks • Motivational interviewing • Questions! • Comfort in process • Sharing • Exceptions
  • Role Play
  • Activity: Build Ideal Mentor Think about representing characteristic or quality of an ideal mentor in visual form • Example: ears for being a good listener Add visual element to outline of mentor Everyone contributes Creativity is encouraged! No wrong way to participate - unless you don’t participate
  • 7. Learn from your mentee
  • “Um…she is…a bright light. She really is, I mean, she’s just…she’s got a good heart. She knows right and wrong. Although she doesn’t always follow through. But I mean, heck, who didn’t do that when they were a teenager, you know? …I think that she definitely does like to push the envelope, test the limits, …which I think goes along with being a teenager…but as far as like…like her… her core… like I think everybody has a core, you know?” Sophie, a mentor Relational Intervention: Empathy Spencer, 2006
  • 8. Have fun and enjoy your mentee
  • “He’s my best, best, best friend.” Maurice, a mentee “Until I have to go buy him adult diapers for an old folks home.” Shaggy, a mentee “I just really like him and I enjoy spending time with him… and now five hours goes by like nothing… it’s become very easy.” Frank, a mentor “The best part is being together and being with Frank.” T.K. Williams, Frank’s mentee Spencer, 2006 Relational Intervention: Companionship
  • Success of mentoring relationship What happens during meetings How mentors approach mentoring relationship How mentors and mentees decide what to do together Karcher & Nakkula, 2010 What Works Best?
  • 2. Mentoring Activities Goal-directed: explicit outcomes are priority Relational: building and sustaining relationship is priority
  • Activity: Relational or Goal-Directed Identify the relational and the goal-directed activity in each pair
  • BUT – Remember… • For some mentees who are unable to form relationships, focusing on goals or projects may be successful approach to building the relationship • Expectations around instrumental activities only work with resources and structure to support them Nakkula, 2010
  • “He supports me in like, he asks me… what I’ve been doing in like, science since I like science a lot. And what I’ve been doing in math and it supports me… to do more work in science and math and other subjects.” JaShawn, a mentee “I’d talk to him on Monday and he’d say oh, I can’t wait for Saturday. He just really hated school.” Wolfgang, a mentor Spencer, 2006 3. Relational Intervention: Collaboration
  • 9. Be flexible in your approach and expectations
  • Raise your hand if you EXPECT: 1. My mentee and I will immediately connect with each other. 2. My mentee and I will always get along. 3. My mentee will thank me when I check in on him/her. 4. My mentee and I will get along well because we share a similar cultural background or have had similar experiences growing up. 5. My mentee will thank me for my commitment to him/her. 6. This experience will be a lot of fun and little effort. 7. This experience will look good on my résumé.
  • 10. Rely on program for support
  • Mentor • Agree to timeframe and monthly commitment • Be reliable and flexible • Adhere to policies and procedures • Communicate regularly with mentee • Be on time for meetings or call • Attend required trainings and activities • Communicate regularly with staff • Report anything causing harm
  • Crisis Response • If emergency response needed, contact 911 • Contact mentee’s parents/guardians immediately • Contact Director and Instructor staff immediately – Provide necessary intervention and/or referrals
  • Reporting Child Abuse • Includes physical, emotional, sexual abuse and neglect • Always believe youth – they are telling adult for reason • Immediately report any suspicion of abuse to program staff • Program staff are mandated reporters and must contact appropriate services within 72 hours • May or may not know of resulting actions
  • Keeping Confidentiality These examples do not fall under what is considered confidential and must be reported by mentors immediately:  When mentee or another child is at risk of harm to themselves or others  When mentee or another child is being abused, neglected, or exploited  When mentee reveals clear intent to commit crime that reasonably is expected to result in injury of person
  • • Imperative to hold Closure meeting • All involved come to common understandings and expectations • Many mentees’ experiences with endings are poor – Promises made are often not kept – They may never know what caused ending – They often will believe it was their fault Confront reality of situation Acknowledge learning Reflect on positives Express thoughts and feelings Healthy Closure
  • Closing
  • “Positive relationships are seen as the primary way that mentoring leads to improved outcomes for youth who are mentored.” Nation, Keener, Wandersman, & DuBois, 2005
  • Homework Highly recommended: Paul Tough (2012) How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character
  • Thank you!
  • Youth/105093182858863 650-559-0200