Assertiveness describes someone who behaves confidently and is notfrightened to say what they want or believe
Being Assertive is not the same as being aggressiveBeing aggressive means standing up for yourself in ways that violate the rights of others.
What causes people to avoid being assertive?Fear of displeasing othersFear of not being liked
Do you ask for help if you need it? Do you express anger and annoyance appropriately? Do you ask questions when youre confused? Do you volunteer your opinions when you think or feel differently from others? Are you able to say "no" when you dont want to do something? Do you speak with a generally confident manner, communicating caring and strength? Do you look at people when youre talking to them? How Assertive Are You?
Types of Assertion1. Basic Assertion This is a simple, straightforward expression of your beliefs, feelings, or opinions. Its usually a simple "I want" or "I feel" statement.
2. Empathic Assertion: This conveys some sensitivity to the other person"I know youve really been busy, but I want to feel that our relationship is important to you. I want you to make time for me and for us."
3. Escalating Assertion: This occurs when the other person fails to respond to your basic assertion and continues to violate your rights.You gradually escalate the assertion and become increasingly firm.
4. I-Language Assertion This is especially useful for expressing negative feelings. It involves a 3-part statement: When you do . . . (describe the behavior). The effects are . . . (describe how the behavior concretely affects you). Id prefer. . . (describe what you want).I-Language Assertion can help you constructively focus that anger and be clear about your own feelings.
Being Assertive Power of Positive Beliefs Being Direct Focus on Facts Focus on Consequences Stop Put Down Behavior
Why is Assertiveness Important? DepressionResentment Frustration
I Have The Right To Assert Myself, Even Though I MayInconvenience Others
I Have The Right To ChooseNot To Assert Myself
The most powerful assertivenesstechnique is to repeat your command with the confidence of a child
Assertiveness is not what you do, its who you are!
Steps to become more assertive Realize where changes are needed and believe in your rights. Figure out appropriate ways of asserting yourself in each specific situation that concerns you. Practice giving assertive responses. Try being assertive in real life situations.
Chinese Proverb‘He who asks is a fool for five minutes but hewho does not ask remains a fool forever’