Presented to:Ma’amAminaShahidDepartment Of English Language andLiterature2013Paragraph WritingOrganization of the ParagraphPresented by:SYED HASSAN RAZASAMRA IQBALTEHREEM AFZALSUMMERA YASMEEN
-bOrganization of theparagrapht UnityC CoherenceFaultyStartLack of TopicSentenceDevelopment of theideasb Vocabulary choiceParagraph writing
ny Type of writing, whether it is Creative,Descriptive, Legal, or Business oriented, requiressome skills to make it Impressive. Writing of anysort if lacks concisenessiit bothers the reader.Faulty mechanics cannot be tolerated as well. Certainskills should be adopted to make writing effective. This worksuggests some skills for a striking writing style. Here we willdiscuss how to construct a suitable paragraph, which will further help us in any style ofwriting.Paragraph WritingIn Process Writing, we have emphasized the fact that it is very hard for the teacherto concentrate on both the grammar and the organization errors on a student paper andstill not discourage the student with those red marks all over the paper. Instead, we havesuggested that the students should be able to comment on and edit their own paper to acertain extent. The advantages of such an approach would be raising awareness of thestudent and reducing the workload of the teacher.A
. There may be many ways to correct a mistake. The examples given here are alloriginal beginner level papers.1. ORGANIZATION OF THE PARAGRAPHA. Unity: It means that all the sentences refer to the main idea, or the topic of theparagraph.Exercise 1: The original student paper:In a unified paragraph, we expect all the sentences to be about the main idea of theparagraph. The main idea in this paragraph is "the descriptioniiof your house". If we examinethe paragraph, we see that some sentences do not describe the house, such as:In weekdays I arrive home at five oclock and I have lunch.I live in a flat with my family. We have two bedroomsand a living room. We have a garden and we havesome flowers there. In weekdays I arrive home at fiveo’ clock and I have lunch. Then I do my homework andgo to bed. I have a Computer but it does not work. Ihave a brother and a sister and I think I am very luckyto live them. Sometimes our relatives visit us. Our flatbecomes very crowded sometimes but I like it.
Then I do my homework and go to bed.B. Coherence: It means that the sentences should be organized in a logical mannerand should follow a definite plan of development.
Exercise 2:The original student paper:I live in a house in Karachi. It isnt old or modern. Its a normaltraditional house. We can say it is near the sea. It takes about 10 minutesto go to the sea side on foot. We have one bedroom, one living room. Wealso have two other rooms, too. We use them as a dining room. Naturally,we have a kitchen, a bathroom, and a toilet. I live with my parents. And ourhouse has a little garden; my parents spend their time there to growvegetables and fruit.First, lets see the order of the ideas:1. Where the house is2. Type of the house3. The location4. The rooms in the house5. The fact that he lives with his parents6. The gardenThe paragraph is well organized until he says he lives withhis parents. It looks like this idea interruptediiihis descriptionof the house. It should be put somewhere else in the paragraph.C. Faulty Start:Here are some ways to bore your readers to death (!) when starting a paragraph/an essay:You can start with: A nonsense sentence:
E.g. I want to talk about X. A cliché:e.g. X plays a great role in our lives.o X is a very important issue in todays world.Exercise 3: Here is an example:I want to talk about friendship. Friends can change your life. So,you must know who is a real friend. Firstly, your friend mustunderstand you and of course, you must understand her, too. Ithink, another important point in a friendship is confidence. Youmustnt tell lies to each other. In addition, you must say everythingabout yourself. I think these are important for a friendship. If youhave a friend like this, you dont break up with her because a realfriend is not found easily.How do we understand that "I want to talk about friendship." is a nonsenseivsentence? If we leave the nonsense sentence out, the content and meaning of theparagraph does not change. See Example:riendsplaygreatroles in our lives sowe must know ourfriends. Firstly, yourfriend mustunderstand you andof course, you mustunderstand her, too.I think anotherimportant point in afriendship isconfidence. Youmustnt tell lies toeach other. Inaddition, you mustsay everything aboutyourself. I thinkthese are importantfor a friendship. Ifyou have a friendlike this, you dontbreak up with herbecause a real friendis not found easily.F
D. Lack of Topic Sentence:Topic sentence is the main idea, your attitude, yourevaluation of something.Having no topic sentence is bad both for the writer and the reader. First, the reader hasto read the entire paragraph to get to the point. Here, the example is one paragraph long.What if the example was a paper of 2-3 pages? This is one side. Lack of a topic sentence alsocauses the writer to drift away from the topic. He loses control over the writing. He may write3 sentences about one controlling idea and 1 for the other which causes an imbalancevwithinthe writing.Exercise 4: Try to write only a topic sentence for this paragraph.A good friend is a person who doesnt tell me lies, who helps me and let mehelp him, and who I can talk to in trust.E. Development of the ideas: It means that every idea discussed in theparagraph should be adequatelyviexplained and supported through evidence and examples.We generally believe that people would easily understand us when we write.Unfortunately, our use of language may not be perfect and our ideas may be different. If wewant our ideas to be understood, we need to explain them and give specific examples of each.Listing our ideas is never enough. See the example below:Exercise 5:irst of all, a friendmustnt tell lie. Hemust always tell methe truth and he must be honestbecause if there is honestybetween two friends, theirrelationship will last until death.In addition to honesty, helpingor being near a friend on a badday is very important. AnotherF
point to consider is that hemust criticize me if I make amistake
If we list the ideas, here is what we get:A friend must:not tell a liebe there for him on a bad daycriticize when necessary2. VOCABULARY CHOICE:Many reasons play a role in our vocabulary mistakes. There are some Englishwords and expressions that are confused throughout the world where English is used.There even are dictionaries of common language errors. For example,effect/affect, advise/advice. There are sites dedicated to these common errors and relatedexercises amongst the links we have provided.T There are three qualities that I need tosee in a good friend. A good friendshould not tell lies. I need to trust himso that I can talk to him. Second a goodfriend should be there when I neededhim. I should be able to find him nearme when I am in a bad mood or when Ihave a problem. Finally, whennecessary, he should criticize me sothat I can change my undesirablebehavior or see where I am wrong. Ithink these three qualities are the basicproperties in a good friend.
Exercise 6: Lets read the original student paragraph below and then discuss theissue:
Friends play a great role inour lives. They effect ourlives negatifly or positifly. Weshould choose them verycarefully. First, we can look athis behaviors. After that, wecan look at his activities. It isvery important to do somethingtogether. We must bewareof people who has bad habitssuch as smoking, bad speaking,etc. Some people dont think sobut I think finally we shouldlook athis phsical aparians because ifyou have diffirent physicalaparianse than him, you cantbe relaxable. For example if youare taller than him, thisgenerally does unrelaxable tohim. As a consequently, it isvery important to choose afriend according toyour especialities.First of all, "negatif" and "positif" are written wrongly. We, Pakistani learners of English,generally make this mistake both in writing and in speaking (consider "psychology,sociology"). We may have similar words in both languages; however, we must pay attentionto their spellings and pronunciations.Secondly, we see many misspelled words. We can deduce what they are but do we have to?Unless we write words correctly, we cannot expect others to understand us.This attitude "This is how I write / talk. If they want to understand me, they should get usedto my style" would not help anyone, and should not be.As friends may affect us in a negative or positive way, we should beselective in choosing our friends. First, we observe their behaviours. We shouldhave similar characters so that we can get along. Second, the types of activitiesthey prefer can give us a clue. If we are not a cigarette-smoker or a cursingperson, we wouldnt want to see such people around us. Finally, physicalappearances should be compatible as well on well for a long time. In short,
behaviors, types of activities, and physical appearance of friends must besimilar to be good friends.