What do you expect to happen after this session on self-knowledge?
Describe yourself by using 2 adjectives: positive or negative that you think best described you.
Was it easy or difficult to describe your self?
PSALM 139: 13-16
13. Ikaw ang nagbuhat sa tibuok kong lawas; ikaw ang nag-umol kanako sa sabakan sa akong inahan. 14. Gidayeg ko ikaw kay angay ka mang kahadlokan; katingalahan ug kahibulongan ang tanan mong gibuhat ug nasayod gayud ako niini. 15. nakit mo ang akong mga bukog sa paghulma pa niini nga giayo pagsumpaysumpay diha sa sabakan sa akong inahan, sa dihang nagtubo ako didto sa tago. 16. nakita mo na ako sa wala pa ako mahigmugso. Ang tagal sa panahon alang kanako nasulat na sa imong basahon bisan sa wala pakini magsugod.
What we are doing now is what we called giving a favorable, commendable, promising, suitable opinion of ourselves, yourselves, or we can think too highly or too low of ourselves and that is our SELF-ESTEEM .
THE JOHARI WINDOW
4 TYPES OF EGO-CENTRICITY
NERO – Phil. 2:6-11
Popularly known as NERO CLAUDIUS CEASAR
Roman Emperor 54 – 68
He was the son of Agrippina, he murdered his father because he wanted to take his father’s place and honor as Roman Emperor.
He was cruel
2. STAR – Phil. 2:14-16
Star loves to shine
Loves to be the number 1
Always seeks affirmation, approval
3. TURTLE – 2 Timothy 1:6-7
Always feel inferior
Shy / timid (talawan)
“ Way nahut” / ultimo
“ sila lang kay…kamo lang…
4. CLINGING VINE – 1 Thes. 5:14-16
Afraid to make decisions / weak
Hanging around with the “in” crowd like the rich, influential, privileged, big shots to cover up insecurity
If one is insecure, he is not happy
It is possible that you possess 2 or 3 or all of these, but try to find out what ego-centricity is dominant in you, and start to look deeply and find out where the root is.
HOW IS OUR SELF-IMAGE FORMED?
It proceeds from:
the significant others: Parents, brothers and sisters, friends etc.
our own belief of our self.
WHERE DOES NEGATIVE SELF-IMAGE ORIGINATED?
Often, the negative self-image dates back to childhood:
One was compared to a brother / sister
e.g. “sus ikaw ka bugo nimo dili ka pareho sa imong igsoon.”
“ mao ra ni imong nahimo ka gamay baya ani, tapulan ka gyud…”
HOW TO OVERCOME THIS NEGATIVE SELF-IMAGE?
Accept that your image of self is negative.
Be open to the possibility of being something else.
Go back to the root, to the past with someone who could best accompany you.
Pray to the Holy Spirit the no. 1 formator and healer.
1 Samuel 16:7
SELF-ESTEEM is a favorable, commendable, promising, suitable opinion of ourselves. We can think too highly of ourselves (Rom. 13:3; Gal. 6:3-4), or we can think too low (Eph. 2:10)
As disciples of Jesus, we are special in God’s sight.
God, the Creator of the universe, lives in us by His Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19-20).
We are sons and daughters of God, co-heirs with Jesus and we share with Jesus in His glory (Rom. 8:17).
We have been made alive with Christ (Eph. 2:5) and have been given fullness in Christ (Col. 2:10).
In fact, we can do everything through Him who gives us strength (Phil. 4:13).
We have been raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly places (Eph. 2:6).
We need to balance the greatness of who we are in Christ against a humble acceptance of who God wants us to be and what He wants us to do.
C. GOD MADE US (Ps. 139:13-16)
God made us and He knew us even before we were born. He is big enough to cope with our biggest problems and pull us through them. Whether we are short, tall, fat, thin, ugly, pretty, intelligent, slow witted, introvert or extrovert , we should accept ourselves, because this is the way God created and made us.
He knows what is best and He will bring about the best in us if we let Him. These means cooperating with Him. We should not be content with sin in our lives, or the problem of our old nature, but we should be content with how we are made. There never was and never will be another person quite like you.
The gifts God has given to you and will give to you, the way He made you, and even the circumstances in which He has placed you, all will enable you to do and accomplish a job that no one else could do quite as well as you. You are the best person for the task God has called you to do. You have been made and are being shaped up by God for that very thing. You have been made in a pattern never to be repeated (Rom. 9:20-21).
We should not take up arms against God’s workmanship. We should, therefore, never hate ourselves or hold any bitterness or resentment against the Lord for making us the way we are. This would grieve God’s Holy Spirit within us. God accept full responsibility for our creation, but our development and ultimate destiny depends upon our cooperation with Him. It is our choice whether we let God get on with it or not.
Jesus changed Simon’s name to Peter or Cephas. He did this because “ Peter ” means “ rock ’ and Simon means “ reed ”. A reed is easily moved by every wind, but a rock is solid and stable. This would have made Peter see himself differently, making him stable where he was unstable. Jesus know that Peter was to become a stable foundation of His church.
Peter needed to see himself as God saw him. We need to do just the same. God sees what we can become in Him through His love and power operating in and through us. We need to see ourselves as God sees us and not as we see ourselves. The Lord doesn’t look on the outward appearance but rather looks at the heart (1 Sam. 16:7)
D. CONSEQUENCES OF A BAD SELF IMAGE
Our self-esteem is one of the most important things we possess. Self-esteem influences our personal happiness or lack of it. It establishes the boundaries of our accomplishments and limits our fulfillment. If we think little of ourselves in Christ we will accomplish little, but if we think positively, we are more able to achieve our potential in Christ Jesus.
We have a bad self image when we cannot escape from the negative attitudes and ideas we have about ourselves. If we live with these, then three things tend to happen:
We lack confidence in ourselves.
We are unable to discover our purpose in life.
We get a sense of rejection, failure and insecurity.
Most people try to hide who they really are because they suffer from these things. They put on a mask and hope people will not discover the real person underneath. Some of the things such people do to cover the underlying problems include:
Being a “ Loud mouth ” to cover up a lack of confidence in themselves.
Hanging around with the “ IN ” crowd (rich, influential, privilege, “ big shots ”) to cover up insecurity.
Feeling inferior, shy and withdrawn because they feel they are failure.
In fact, many of our social problem today can arise from a bad self image ; e.g. alcoholism, drug addiction, criminal activity, rebellion, abuse of sex, marriage break up, vandalism, violence. etc.
We may fool other people, but we cannot hide from God. He knows who we are. So there is no point in trying to hide from Him. We need to yield or surrender our lives over into His hand and die to ourselves. Then we need to live as He sees us.
E. CONSEQUENCES OF A GOOD SELF IMAGE
We need to experience God’s love and power. We need to know we are accepted by God who created everything. We need to understand who we are in ourselves and who we are in Christ and begin to see ourselves as God seen us. This will enable us to have confidence in ourselves and in God; feel secure; know acceptance, achieve success and fulfillment, etc.
We are like children in that we learn to be what we live with.
If we live with criticism, we learn to condemn.
If we live with hostility, we learn to fight.
If we live with ridicule, we learn to be shy.
If we live with shame, we learn to feel guilty.
If we live with tolerance, we learn to be patient.
If we live with encouragement, we learn to be confident.
If we live with praise, we learn to appreciate.
If we live with fairness, we learn justice.
If we live with security, we learn to have faith.
If we live with approval, we learn to like ourselves.
If we live with acceptance and friendship, we learn to find love in the world.
F. WHAT IS GOD’S WAY
People try all sorts of things to make themselves feel good and gain satisfaction and fulfillment, e.g. money, work, pleasure, study, sports, excellence, sex, power, good looks, nice clothes, occult, etc. Some of these things have value, but the value is only temporary. They may give some feeling of satisfaction, but in the end they are empty, meaningless and even dangerous.
God created man in His own image to have a relationship with Him. Man, however, did not live up to what God wanted, went his own way and did as he pleased. This resulted in a separation from God. Man felt shame and fear because he had lost the blessing of the presence and love of God. Man soon realized that he had lost out.
He was created to be something and do something for God, and now he was separated from Him. This has caused man to have a self image crisis. Man has attempted to regain that lost self image, but he has never fully understood what the problem was. He always seems to fall short, no matter what he tries. There always seems to be an emptiness or a lack of purpose and fulfillment.
Jesus, the Son of God, came to the earth because He knew this. He came to restore to man what had been lost and allow us to have a relationship with God again. Jesus understood the problem and Himself became mankind’s answer (Jn. 14:6). However, we have to turn from the things that displeases God (i.e. sin) and accept Jesus as our Savior and Lord.
God then promises to accept us again and allow us to experience His life, power and love. He even promises to give us a part of Himself, called, the Holy Spirit, to enable us to live the life for which we were created. Living in the good of God’s answer will fill the void inside of us.
We need to let God have free reign in our lives and we need to unlearn many of the ideas we had about life before we discovered the true answer. This will take time, but if we let God work in us, we will then be changed, to be like Him. He will release us from our distorted image of ourselves and will enable us to live in dignity and in such a way as to fulfill our God-given destiny