The Art of Being Bruce Seven
Brendan Wade Ryan
EXT. BRUCE SEVEN’S RESIDENCE - JULY 4TH, 1986; LOS ANGELES,
CALIFORNIA - DAY
A shiny, brand new, fire engine red 1985 CHEVROLET CAMARO
driven by BRUCE SEVEN pulls in to the home’s driveway. Loud
HEAVY METAL MUSIC blares out the CAR’S SPEAKERS until Bruce
parks his new car in the driveway and turns off the
IGNITION. REBECA ALBA a beautiful young woman in her
twenties with brunette hair and wearing lots of make-up, who
is sitting in the front passenger seat of Bruce’s car opens
the passenger door of the car to get out.
Rebeca steps out of the car with two brown paper sacks full
of liquor bottles that had been resting in her lap on the
way to Bruce’s, hugging one sack in each arm she waits for
everyone else to get out of the car. Rebecca looks amazing
and has very large breasts and is wearing gold colored
high-heeled shoes, sexy tight spandex pants that accentuate
her amazing legs and match the color of Bruce’s Camaro, a
white designer tee-shirt showing off her cleavage, and a
gold head band that matches her shoes. There are two more
BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMEN, JENNY MARGOLIS AND SARA SIMPSON
sitting in the car’s backseat. They are crammed in between
more brown paper grocery bags loaded with big bottles of
name brand whiskeys, gins, and vodkas inside of them.
Before opening the door to get out of his car Bruce remains
sat in the driver’s seat checking all of his pockets to make
sure he has everything he’d brought with him including his
wallet, pair of SUNGLASSES, two packs of CIGARETTES, a
CIGARETTE LIGHTER and a BOTTLE OF SUNSCREEN he’d bought.
Bruce twists the key from out of the Camaro’s ignition and
opens the car door to get out.
Bruce looks at Rebeca from over the hood of the Camaro.
Bruce makes eye contact with Rebeca and smiles at her, she
smiles back at him.
Thanks for coming with me
Rebeca. I don’t know who else
would have been able to pick out
all of those fine brands of liquor
the way you did.
Oh no problem Bruce.
Rebecca flashes another smile at Bruce. Bruce is about to
say something to Rebeca but is interrupted by a voice coming
from inside of the Camaro.
Hey, let us out of here! It’s too
Jenny and Sara are stuck still sitting in the backseat of
Bruce’s Camaro. The backseat of his car is loaded with a
surplus of brown paper sacks full of liquor bottles. Unable
to move, Jenny and Sara are prevented from being able to get
out of the two-door sports car because of the cargo.
Hang on girls we’ll get you out of
there. Hey Sara I can’t even see
you, where are you?
Bruce bends down to have a look into the backseat of his
I’m right here Bruce.
Sara is talking to Bruce from behind a stack. It’s almost
too difficult for Bruce to locate where she is in the back
Right where? I don’t see you. Don’t
break any bottles, OK? I just
bought this hot rod. I don’t want
the backseat of my to smell like
booze after the Fourth of July, you
BIONCA SEVEN and JOHNNY SIMPSON appear outside and hurry
down the driveway to meet Bruce and company.
Bruce honey, you’re back already!
Bionca this new car hauls ass.
When Bianca reaches Bruce they enjoy a long kiss together.
Rebeca walks up the driveway into the house through an open
I’m glad you’re here. There is
something in the backyard I want to
Oh yeah, what is it?
It’s a surprise baby.
Johnny begins to help Jenny and Sara get out of the Bruce’s
Sara realizes her husband Johnny has come to rescue her from
the backseat of Bruce’s car.
SARA SIMPSON (V.O.)
Hi baby, I’ve come to rescue you.
SARA SIMPSON (V.O.)
Aww, I love you.
Bruce turns his head to check out the situation happening
around his car. Jenny is waiting to hand paper sacks with
bottles in them to Johnny who still clutching Sara and
kissing her next to Bruce’s new car.
Johnny you need any help?
Johnny and Sara stop kissing.
No Bruce I think we’ve got it.
Johnny motions for several men standing around drinking beer
in Bruce’s garage to help him with the heavy paper sacks.
Guys will you give us a hand?
Two men who Johnny had motioned to each set their plastic
cups of beer down and assist in unloading the car.
Come on Bruce.
Bionca grabs Bruce by the hand and leads him away from the
driveway to the backyard.
What the hell is it sweetheart?
Bionca and Bruce round the garage together, in the backyard
a crowd of about twenty people has gathered around a naked
couple having sexual intercourse. The party guests are
cheering on the man and woman having sex on Bruce’s back
What do you think?
Looks like a little sex show
started while I was gone.
I know, I couldn’t believe it!
Lets watch too Bionca.
Bionca lights up a cigarette. JETHRO a guest at the Bruce’s
Fourth of July party walks up to Bruce with a beer to drink.
Thanks Jethro, how’ve you been?
Jethro hands Bruce a bottle beer and joins Bruce and the
crowd of people watching the couple have sex on the back
Can you belive this?
I know, they’ve been at it for
almost an hour.
Bruce takes a rather big swig from his beer.
Happy Fourth of July man!
Bruce gives Jethro a fraternal slap on the back.
Hey thanks, nineteen eighty-six!
Jethro takes a drink of beer from his plastic cup.
A good year to be alive.
You said it.
Everyone outside quiets down and focuses intently on the
couple having sex whose moans have become more audible.
Bruce takes another drink of beer and pats Jethro on the
back one more time.
So are you still working in the
valley? Making movies with what’s
Jim Hickory? Yes, we’re still in
A group of three men, BILL, Bailey, and MIKE enter the
backyard from inside of Bruce’s two-story home looking for
Bruce. They interupt Bruce and Jethro’s conversation.
Hey Bruce we need you inside.
Bruce adjusts his attention from the couple having sex to
Happy Fourth of July you guys!
Happy Fourth Bruce!
Bruce shakes Bill’s hand.
Okay, I guess we better go inside
I’m going to stay out here and
Sounds good Bionca.
I’m going to follow you in.
Bruce, Jethro, Bill, Bailey and Mike leave the backyard and
enter Bruce’s home through the backdoor.
INT. BRUCE SEVEN’S RESIDENCE - FIRST FLOOR LIVING ROOM
Inside of Bruce’s home the party is raging, there are many
more people inside than there were outside in Bruce’s
BACKYARD. The party in the LIVING ROOM is loud, there are
women topless, a few people having sex, Bruce’s big screen
television is on and there are fireworks on going off on
screen, Van Halen rock music floods the air.
Bruce’s popularity springs to life inside of his home where
everyone recognizes him as the famous Bruce Seven, adult
filmmaker and king the of throwing parties at his lavious
estate. Mike, Bailey, Hill, and Jethro allow Bruce to greet
Happy Fourth of July everybody!
CANDY LYNN a famous adult movie actress stops making out
with one of the men at the party and gets off of the sofa
when she sees Bruce and friends come inside from the
backyard. She rushes up to Bruce to talk to him.
Hi Bruce, Happy Fourth of July big
Thanks Candy! Same to you.
The boys said they needed me,
otherwise I’d still be watching two
people fuck outside.
There’s two people fucking outside?
There sure is, go see for yourself
I will, thanks a lot for telling
Candy walks out the back door to the back yard.
Bruce is confronted with another person from the party,
Steve Richardson! What’s up man,
it’s been ages since I last saw
you. How are you?
I’m fine Bruce, thanks for inviting
me to your party. Happy Fourth of
Happy Fourth to you to Steve.
How’s the business treating you?
Things are great, thanks for
asking. We’re thinking of building
a new studio around here. What do
you think, good idea?
Oh definitely Bruce. That’s the
best idea I have ever heard. By
the way there are some really
beautiful women here tonight
Before Bruce can say anything to Steve, Jethro returns to
where Bruce is.
We need you upstairs Bruce.
Are you serious? Lets go.
BRUCE SEVEN’S RESIDENCE - SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY
So who’s in here Jethro?
Her name is Crystal.
OK Crystal, cool.
BRUCE SEVEN’S RESIDENCE - SECOND FLOOR BEDROOM
CRYSTAL, a beautiful woman with long brown hair with
hairspray and wearing a lacy white nightgown is sitting on a
BED. Mike and Bailey are standing at the end of the bed
holding on to film equipment. Bruce enters the BEDROOM with
Jethro, Bruce notices Crystal on the bed.
Hi, what’s your name?
Well nice to meet you Crystal, my
name’s Bruce, Bruce Seven. This is
my house you’re in by the way.
Is it really? You’ve got a nice
house Mister Bruce Seven. I know
what I’m supposed to do.
Yes, Bailey said ya’ll are going to
film me having sex with myself.
We are? Great! Mike and Bailey
are you guys ready to rock?
I’m ready when you are Bruce.
Bruce starts to give directions to Crystal about how she is
supposed to look for the camera.
Now darling, I want you to get real
comfortable before we start
I am comfortable, I wasn’t before
you came in but now I am.
Now when you’re on the bed touching
yourself I want you to look into
the camera and make the sexiest
Crystal strikes a pose for Bruce to see.
Yes, and remember you can leave
your nighty on for part of it but
eventually you’ll need to be
completely naked, the lingerie’s
going to need to come off.
Alright, I can’t wait. I think I’m
Super! Boys get
ready. ’Cheerleader Virgins’ take
one, and... action!
Bruce backs away from Crystal on the bed, Mike and Bailey
step in and begin to film her touching herself. Behind them
Bruce motions to her that she is doing a fine job of
starring in her first adult movie.
Yes baby! Yes! Good!
Crystal is doing an excellent job in front of the cameras,
soon she is completely naked and the two cameramen are doing
close-ups with Bruce watching over their shoulders.
INT. BRUCE SEVEN’S BEDROOM - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 1996 -
Bruce Seven wakes up in bed, sits up and checks to see if
Bionca is laying asleep next to him, she is. Bruce wakes up
Hey Bionca, wake up.
Bionca doesn’t wake up the way Bruce wants her to, he wants
to tell her about the dream he’s just had.
Wake up babe, I have to tell you
about my dream.
Bionca moves around a little in bed and rolls over on to
What’s up Bruce?
I just had a dream, it was ten
years ago at one of our Fourth of
No way! What happened?
Well Rebeca Alba and I went to the
liquor store in my old Camaro, and
we bought so much liquor! When we
got back to the party there were
two people fucking in our back
Woah Bruce, there were two people
fucking in our back yard? That’s
Yeah and everyone was watching, you
know drinking beer and watching
these two have sex.
Heavy baby, anything else?
When I went inside there was this
girl, she said her name was Crystal
and she reminded me of you.
She reminded you of me?
It was her first time to ever be in
You were filming a movie, on the
Fourth of July? Wow Bruce!
She reminded me of when the two of
us first met, she was nervous like
you were. I helped Crystal relax
and then she was fine and real good
when we started filming.
Was I in the dream?
Yes, you were there too.
Bruce kisses Bionca and the couple takes a rest from