Restitution
Resources

• Slideshare: http://www.slideshare.net/
  Restitution Zen


• www.realrestitution.com
Definition of Restitution
                     2




 • Create the conditions for the person to
 • Fix their mistakes
 • Re...
Teaching Kids to Look Inside
             3
Restitution Mantra
        4
Control Theory
      5
Why People Behave            6




                Avoid Pain
                  Punisher

Teacher does Yell & Points

    ...
Positions of Control      7




               Avoid Pain
            Punisher       Guilter

Teacher      Yell &       Pr...
Positions of Control         8


            Avoid Pain            Reward from others

           Punisher    Guilter     ...
Positions of Control
          Avoid Pain             Reward from others

          Punisher    Guilter      Buddy      Mo...
Positions of Control
               Avoid Pain                Reward from others        Respecting Self


           Punis...
Time to Reflect
      11
The ANSWERS
         MONITOR                            MANAGER

 Provide minimal choices             Provides many choice...
Basic Needs
               12




• Food
• Shelter
• Health
• Sleep
• Fresh Air
• Security
Love & Belonging
                13




• Caring
• Sharing
• Joining
• Accepting
• Friendship
• Cooperating

             ...
Power and Love   14




• Conditional Love




• Unconditional Love
Empowerment
                 15




• Achiever
• Success
• Do you best
• Capable
• Leader
• Skilled
                      ...
Freedom
                   16




• Choices
• Adventure
• Experiment
• Independent
• Creative
• Liberty
FUN
                17




• Playful
• Humor
• Pleasure
• Enjoyment
• Laughter
• Excitment
• Enthusiasm         Clean or M...
4 Corners of the room
                   18




• Where do you stand? Which cup do
  you need to have most full?


• Or ar...
Why the NEEDS?
      19
Fortune 500    20




                               NOW       1970
    TEAMWORK                    1        10
   Problem...
Thank you
• Trials, temptations, disappointments--
  all these are helps instead of
  hinderances, if one uses them rightl...
Restitution Tool Kit
   •   Social Contract/Beliefs (come out of rules)

   •   Restitution Triangle

   •   Quality World...
Social Contract/Beliefs
• Creating a social contract in your
  classroom.
• What rules did you have as a child?
Restitution Triangle
                                                              What do we
       Not for no           ...
Quality World
• Create your quality world. What would
  be in it?
30 Second Interventions
  Is what you are doing okay now?

                 What can I do to help you so you can...?
 When...
More 30 Sec. Interventions
 How would you like to be treated during this activity?
                 Can you do that?

 Can...
Does it really matter?
Goals:
To identify areas in which we try to control other
people.
To select and prioritize the stan...
YES IF...
This activity requires adults to identify and evaluate requests from
children to which they normally answer no o...
YES IF...continued
• Say, YES... as often as possible.
• If you can’t say YES, say YES IF... or
  YES WHEN...
• When you s...
My Job/Your Job
           My JOB is...              Your JOB is...
Teach you new things        To learn
Help you find answ...
Could you have done worse?
   • SELECT A BEHAVIOR OR A MISTAKE:
  1. Ask: Could you have done worse?
     (exaggerate-eg. ...
First Questions?
• What need is not being met and how
  can we meet that need?
• Start with: What do you want? How do
  yo...
Asking Questions
• These are great to teach kids how to ?
• What do you want?

• What are you doing? Saying?

• Is it work...
Weaving


                 Monitor
                                         Manager
              Monitor                 ...
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Restitution Zen

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Updated slide show about restitution. Restitution is when you create the conditions for a person to fix a problem and return to the group strengthened.

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  • Restitution Zen

    1. 1. Restitution
    2. 2. Resources • Slideshare: http://www.slideshare.net/ Restitution Zen • www.realrestitution.com
    3. 3. Definition of Restitution 2 • Create the conditions for the person to • Fix their mistakes • Return to the group • STRENGTHENED
    4. 4. Teaching Kids to Look Inside 3
    5. 5. Restitution Mantra 4
    6. 6. Control Theory 5
    7. 7. Why People Behave 6 Avoid Pain Punisher Teacher does Yell & Points If you don’t Teacher says I’ll Rebels & Legacy Blames Students says I don’t care Students Repeated outcome offense
    8. 8. Positions of Control 7 Avoid Pain Punisher Guilter Teacher Yell & Preaches & does Points Shoulds Teacher If you don’t You know says I’ll better Rebels & Hide Deny Legacy Blames LIE Students I don’t care I’m sorry says Students Repeated Low self- outcome offense esteem
    9. 9. Positions of Control 8 Avoid Pain Reward from others Punisher Guilter Buddy Teacher Yell & Preaches Make excuse for them does Points & Shoulds Teacher If you You know Do it for me says don’t I’ll better Rebels & Hide Legacy Dependency Blames Deny Lie Students I don’t I thought you I’m sorry were my friend says care Students Repeat Low self- Weakness outcome offense esteem
    10. 10. Positions of Control Avoid Pain Reward from others Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Teacher Yell & Preaches Make excuse Counts & & Shoulds for them measures does Points Teacher If you You know Do it for What’s says don’t I’ll better me the rule Rebels & Hide Legacy Dependency Conformity Blames Deny Lie I thought you Students I don’t How high/ I’m sorry were my how far says care friend Students Repeat Low self- Consequence Weakness outcome offense esteem orientated
    11. 11. Positions of Control Avoid Pain Reward from others Respecting Self Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Manager Teacher Yell & Preaches & Make excuse Counts & Asks Shoulds for them measures questions does Points Teacher If you Do it for What’s the What do you You know rule? believe? says don’t I’ll me better Rebels & Hide Deny Legacy Dependency Conformity Strengthens Lie Blames I thought you Students I don’t Counts & What can I do I’m sorry were my measures to fix it? says care friend Students Repeat Low self- Conseequence Self Weakness oriented Restitution outcome offense esteem
    12. 12. Time to Reflect 11
    13. 13. The ANSWERS MONITOR MANAGER Provide minimal choices Provides many choices Outcome known from start Outcome unknown at start Teacher-directed Child-driven States what will happen Asks questions External motivation Internal motivation Teacher-evaluation Self-motivation Teaches external control Teaches self-control Does not help meet child’s 4 basic Helps child meet all four basic needs needs
    14. 14. Basic Needs 12 • Food • Shelter • Health • Sleep • Fresh Air • Security
    15. 15. Love & Belonging 13 • Caring • Sharing • Joining • Accepting • Friendship • Cooperating Unconditional or Conditional
    16. 16. Power and Love 14 • Conditional Love • Unconditional Love
    17. 17. Empowerment 15 • Achiever • Success • Do you best • Capable • Leader • Skilled deep or cheap
    18. 18. Freedom 16 • Choices • Adventure • Experiment • Independent • Creative • Liberty
    19. 19. FUN 17 • Playful • Humor • Pleasure • Enjoyment • Laughter • Excitment • Enthusiasm Clean or Mean??
    20. 20. 4 Corners of the room 18 • Where do you stand? Which cup do you need to have most full? • Or are you balance...middle of the room • Can this place change?
    21. 21. Why the NEEDS? 19
    22. 22. Fortune 500 20 NOW 1970 TEAMWORK 1 10 Problem solving 2 12 Interpersonal skills 3 13 Oral communication 4 4 Listening 5 5 Personal Developmt. 6 6 Creative Thinking 7 7 Leadership 8 8 Goal Setting 9 9 Writing 10 1 Organizational Effectiveness 11 11 Computation 12 2 Reading 13 3
    23. 23. Thank you • Trials, temptations, disappointments-- all these are helps instead of hinderances, if one uses them rightly. They not only test the fiber of character, but strengthen it...Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than before. • James Buckham
    24. 24. Restitution Tool Kit • Social Contract/Beliefs (come out of rules) • Restitution Triangle • Quality World • 30 second interventions • Does it really matter? • Yes if... • My Job/Your Job • Could you have done worse? • Asking Questions • WEAVING
    25. 25. Social Contract/Beliefs • Creating a social contract in your classroom. • What rules did you have as a child?
    26. 26. Restitution Triangle What do we Not for no believe? W reason l ea efu re os ed Social rp i nte Se pu ne Contract rn Keep that is ek all behavior, ior the ym add to it. t he av Person you oti eh want to be. te va lb Could you be RESTITUTION da ted Al have done lie worse? li f Va Stabilize the identity We are doing the best we can Be a good Not interested It’s ok to make Your not the friend to in fault mistakes only one yourself
    27. 27. Quality World • Create your quality world. What would be in it?
    28. 28. 30 Second Interventions Is what you are doing okay now? What can I do to help you so you can...? When will you be ready to start? What’s your job now? It looks like we have a problem. How can we solve it? Do you want to figure out a better way? How can I help?
    29. 29. More 30 Sec. Interventions How would you like to be treated during this activity? Can you do that? Can you change what you Is it okay to make mistakes? are doing now to be helpful? Can we fix it? Are you being the kind of person you want to be ? Would you like to do better? It looks like you have a problem. How can I help?
    30. 30. Does it really matter? Goals: To identify areas in which we try to control other people. To select and prioritize the standards which reflect our values. To identify the beliefs behind limitations we want to set on others.
    31. 31. YES IF... This activity requires adults to identify and evaluate requests from children to which they normally answer no or “No, because…” The requests are usually simple ones such as “May I sharpen my pencil? The answer my be “No, because I’m talking.” However, a better answer would be one which redirects the child, such as “Yes, when I’m finished giving instructions.”
    32. 32. YES IF...continued • Say, YES... as often as possible. • If you can’t say YES, say YES IF... or YES WHEN... • When you say NO, give the child a reason and don’t change your mind.
    33. 33. My Job/Your Job My JOB is... Your JOB is... Teach you new things To learn Help you find answers Be prepared to work Have fun Be on time Keep you safe Try your best Respect students Ask questions Evaluate students Make responsible choices Be prepared Solve problems Safe learning environment Self evaluate My JOB is NOT... To give you the answer Your JOB is not... To yell To do nothing To be your mom Provide entertainment To be your maid Put downs To make you learn To do my job To make other people’s decisions
    34. 34. Could you have done worse? • SELECT A BEHAVIOR OR A MISTAKE: 1. Ask: Could you have done worse? (exaggerate-eg. If aggressing, could you have been more aggressive?} 2. Ask: What was the value you were protecting by the behavior you didn’t like in yourself? (value=need) 3. Ask: Would it be better to not hold the value- to not be the person you want to be? (NO!) 4. Give yourself credit, though it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to, it was better than
    35. 35. First Questions? • What need is not being met and how can we meet that need? • Start with: What do you want? How do you want it to look? • XXXX How can I make this kid do what I want? What happened?
    36. 36. Asking Questions • These are great to teach kids how to ? • What do you want? • What are you doing? Saying? • Is it working? • Can you figure out a better way?
    37. 37. Weaving Monitor Manager Monitor Manager If you don’t____, I will___ I would rather____ (Give you a consequence. Discomfort) (Fix it. We both get what we need.)
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