Teaching seminar on anger 27102013


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Anger is an emotional reaction characterised by antagonism towards something or someone. Anger can be an emotion related to one's psychological interpretation of having been offended, wronged, or denied and a tendency to react through retaliation.
Anger may be a normal healthy response to threat and it can be used for constructive purposes. Anger can be constructive or destructive.

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Teaching seminar on anger 27102013

  1. 1. About “Anger ” Anger is an emotional reaction characterised by antagonism towards something or someone. Anger can be an emotion related to one's psychological interpretation of having been offended, wronged, or denied and a tendency to react through retaliation. Anger may be a normal healthy response to threat and it can be used for constructive purposes. Anger can be constructive or destructive.
  2. 2. About “Anger ”
  3. 3. Types of “Anger ” Three types of anger are recognized by psychologists:  The first form of anger, named "hasty and sudden anger" by Joseph Butler, an 18th-century English bishop, is connected to the impulse for self-preservation. It is shared between humans and animals and occurs when tormented or trapped.  The second type of anger is named "settled and deliberate" anger and is a reaction to perceived deliberate harm or unfair treatment by others. These two forms of anger are episodic.  The third type of anger is called “dispositional” and is related more to character traits than to instincts or cognitions. Irritability, sullenness and churlishness are examples of the last form of anger.
  4. 4. Types of “Anger ”
  5. 5. Why do people get angry?  Genetic/Psychological: some children are born irritable, touchy and are easily angered; these signs could be present from a very early age. These could also be traits gotten from their parents.  Socio-cultural: anger is often regarded as negative; we are taught in the secular world that it is alright to be anxious, depressed or express other emotions but not anger. As a result we do not learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.  Family background: typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic and not skilled at emotional communication.  Hurt: when we are disrespected by people we feel hurt.
  6. 6. Why do people get angry?
  7. 7. Why do people get angry?  Frustration: if we are not able to accomplish our goals it creates feeling of anger within us.  Harassment: when we are harassed in anyway or our rights are violated, we feel angry. For instance sexual harassment in the workplace or date rape.  Personal attack: attack (mental or physical) on us by other or by ourselves. When some people are angry, they could use sharp objects like the razor blade or a knife to cut their skin.  Death of a loved one: mourning or grieving for the loss of a loved one can be devastating and depressing. Some people could be angry during this period and therefore need people to encourage them especially in the Word of God.
  8. 8. Why do people get angry?
  9. 9. Why do people get angry?  Basic medical and dental needs: one could get angry when he/she fails to meet the medical needs.  Physical basic needs: people become angry when they are not able to meet the three basic needs of life; food, clothing and shelter (home).  Basic emotional needs: when one fails to meet his/her emotional needs. The need to be valued or loved, the need to be in control and need to enjoy a sense of self-worth. We feel disrespected and unappreciated when these needs are not met.  Threat to people: when we are threatened by people especially people that we know or are familiar with, we feel angry.
  10. 10. Why do people get angry?
  11. 11. One simple dichotomy of the anger expression is passive anger versus aggressive anger. These two types of anger have some characteristic symptoms. Passive anger  Dispassion: Looking unconcerned or ‘sitting on the fence’ while you allow others to choose for you. Emotionally dishonest; dampening feelings with substance abuse, indirect self-denying, inhibited. In win-lose situations you lose.  Evasiveness: Such as turning one’s back in a crisis, avoiding conflict. Invariably others view of you will be lack of respect, distrust. You can be considered a pushover because you do not know where you stand.
  12. 12. Secretive behaviour: Such as stockpiling resentments that are expressed behind people’s backs, giving the silent treatment or under the breath mutterings, avoiding eye contact, putting people down, gossiping, angry at yourself and/or others.  Verbal - “I’m sorry to have to tell you this…”; “Please don’t get angry or upset with me”.  Non-verbal - Biting lips and tongue; looking away or down folded arms; very soft voice; mouth behind hand; apologetic tone
  13. 13. Aggressive anger  Bullying: Such as threatening people directly, feeling righteous, superior, deprecatory, controlling, using power to oppress, shouting, playing on people’s weakness.  Selfishness: Putting others down to protect yourself, not responding to request for help, achieving your goal at others' expense, upholding your rights and violating the rights of others.  Grandiosity: Such as showing off, expressing mistrust, not delegating, being a sore-loser, wanting center stage all the time, not listening, talking over people’s head.
  14. 14. Vengeance: Such as being over–punitive, refusing to forgive and forget, angry, distrustful, fearful, bringing up hurtful memories from the past. Verbal - "Shut up!"; "Get Lost"; "You'll be sorry" Non-verbal - Finger pointing; Glaring; Invasion of personal or even intimate space (4” and closer); Arms crossed; Widening of stance; Hands on hips; Fingers clenched into a fist; Increase in the volume of voice
  15. 15. Its quite clear that the consequence of uncontrolled anger is destruction. Anger has resulted in bringing so many regrets and has also caused people to lose what they have. Anger has its positive sides and negative sides. Positive sides of anger: This is an action taken in making the right correction or rebuking sin or evil deeds. Negative sides of anger: This is action or emotion that involves sin such as disobedience, pride, envy, an evil act or destruction.
  16. 16. Cain and Abel (Gen 4:4-14) - This kind of anger originated from the sin of envy, when God received the sacrifice of Abel and rejected the one of Cain. This made Cain jealous and angry with his brother and he eventually killed his brother. He became the first murderer in the bible as a result of uncontrolled anger.
  17. 17. The story of Hezekiah son of Ahaz (II Kings 18:1-7) - From this passage we can see how Hezekiah expressed his holy anger towards the idols in the high places, scattering and destroying them completely. This was a positive record for him. The story of Joseph (Gen 39: 19 - 20, Gen 40: 2 - 3) - Joseph was imprisoned because he refused to sin against God by sleeping with his master’s wife. But this led to him fulfilling his destiny, he became second in command to Pharaoh).
  18. 18. The story of Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen 13:13, 24-25) - GOD was willing to negotiate with Abraham as regards saving the land of Sodom and Gomorrah. But at the end of the day the nation was destroyed but the family of Lot was saved except his wife who looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. Jesus (John 11:15-17) - Jesus also expressed his holy anger towards people that practiced buying and selling with money exchangers in the temple. He drove them out of the temple of God and told them frankly that his house shall be called the house of prayer and not a den of robbers and thieves.
  19. 19. Negative effect of anger on our health  It causes high blood pressure.  It causes hypertension.  It causes heart attack.  It brings sorrow, oppression and bondage.  It makes someone to grow old quickly.  Lastly it brings premature death. It is therefore important that we identify those things that easily get you angry and work on them.
  20. 20. Negative effect of anger on our health
  21. 21. How can I control my anger? One thing to know about anger is that it clouds judgment and its effect is very similar to the effects of alcohol. In controlling anger we need the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the in-filling of the Holy Spirit and most importantly faith in God to understand and discern the reason behind people’s actions so as not to overreact. The Holy Spirit leads us to do the works of the spirit (Galatians 5:22) instead of the works of flesh (Galatians 5: 19).
  22. 22. How can I control my anger?
  23. 23. Joseph: He was faced with situations that in today’s world, would have made youths of today very angry. He was thrown into a well by his siblings, sold by his siblings, made a servant, lied against by his master’s wife, put in jail and forgotten by his friends. But in everything he had faith, and understood God had a plan for him. He trusted that God’s promise to him would still come to pass and ultimately held on to God. Youths today should emulate this act. We need to understand that when we give our lives to God, He is more than able to make every situation work together for our good.
  24. 24. What the bible says about “Anger” Ephesians 4:26-31 - "In your anger do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”
  25. 25. What the bible says about “Anger”
  26. 26. James 1:19-20  My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Proverbs 29:11  A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 19:11  A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. Ecclesiastes 7:9  Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.
  27. 27. Proverbs 15:1, 18  A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. Colossians 3:8  But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Proverbs 16:32  Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. Proverbs 22:24  Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.
  28. 28. Matthew 5:22  But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, “Raca”, is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell. Psalm 37:8-9  Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land. Proverbs 14:17  A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.
  29. 29. In Conclusion according to Colossians 3:13 ‘Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.’ May God help us all. Proverbs 12:16  The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult. Proverbs 29:22  A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression. Proverbs 14:29  A patient man has great understanding, but a quicktempered man displays folly.
  30. 30. Question and Answer session