Changes in thought about bullying over the years History and goals of Stopbully.com and NSTAAB The suicide epidemic Skill based solutions vs. emotional solutions Not Tell. Show and Tell 5 Signs, 5 Tools
Changing the language changes the perspective. If a problem is defined incorrectly we will be forever creating solutions that are ineffective. Currently we are creating a culture of labeling, bullies and victims. This method absolves the bystander of responsibility and it encourages children to develop personalities around the labels they are given.There is no difference in the skills needed by all children/students. All people need to develop the same skill set of communication skills, thinking skills and problem solving skills in order to bring out positive behaviors.The problem:We are living in a culture that engages in negativity and power struggles. We haven’t had the opportunity to learn strong balanced thinking, confidence, and communication skills that keep us from using bully actions and victim responses.
When I do a presentation, I ask the group “Who in here is a bully?” Usually no one answers. And then I ask the other questions that are listed, or add more, until everyone has raised their hands. This is used to show that ALL of us use a bully action sometimes. – all of us also use a victim response sometimes. Everyone needs to look at their own actions, and stand up for others, in order to solve this problem.
Awareness of our own actions will allow us not to use bully actions and victim responses…we can break patterns of behavior that have been created. Being a strong bystander takes practice, and I suggest role playing with friends so that we are ready. Even adults, confronted by aggressive behavior, don’t know what to do. Picture an adult seeing domestic violence on a street…how many stop, how many do something? Not many, because we don’t have the practice or the confidence. This dateline program shows really well how we can get carried away AND how bystander behavior affects bully actions. http://insidedateline.nbcnews.com/_news/2011/02/28/6155462-march-6-2011-my-kid-would-never-bully?lite
Handouts – TIPS page aBeanstalk ad Tables of contents
10 things youth can learn from sports
Dr. Ron Graham
(when coached positively)
Shred the label, save a child
Practice and preparation above self-gratification
Living above wins and losses
Team above self
Mutual trust for teammates
Mutual respect for opponents
Mutual consideration for officials and fans
Staying excited about the sport
Overcoming losing streaks and injuries
Seeing challenges as opportunities
Making the best possible use of our talents
Judging situations and contexts
Determining whether athletics define you
Being your own person, win or lose
Not putting yourself ahead of others
Recognizing the coaches' authority now
Recognizing the authority of others later
Preparation to lead!
Making the best use of social status
Becoming an example
To keep going when things are down
To put criticism in its place
To recover from injury and disappointment
Loyalty to a team – and to a working group
Personal responsibility to society
Contribution to neighborhood, city and
Some sports we can play in our 70s!
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