Awareness of our own actions will allow us not to use bully actions and victim responses…we can break patterns of behavior that have been created. Being a strong bystander takes practice, and I suggest role playing with friends so that we are ready. Even adults, confronted by aggressive behavior, don’t know what to do. Picture an adult seeing domestic violence on a street…how many stop, how many do something? Not many, because we don’t have the practice or the confidence. This dateline program shows really well how we can get carried away AND how bystander behavior affects bully actions. http://insidedateline.nbcnews.com/_news/2011/02/28/6155462-march-6-2011-my-kid-would-never-bully?lite
Handouts – TIPS page aBeanstalk ad Tables of contents
Cyberbullying is defined in legal glossaries as actions that use information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm another or others. use of communication technologies for the intention of harming another person use of internet service and mobile technologies such as web pages and discussion groups as well as instant messaging or SMS text messaging with the intention of harming another person. Examples of what constitutes cyberbullying include communications that seek to intimidate, control, manipulate, put down, falsely discredit, or humiliate the recipient. The actions are deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior intended to harm another. Cyberbullying has been defined by The National Crime Prevention Council: “When the Internet, cell phones or other devices are used to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person.&quot; A cyberbully may be a person whom the target knows or an online stranger. A cyberbully may be anonymous and may solicit involvement of other people online who do not even know the target. This is known as a &apos;digital pile-on.&apos;
Ask for guesses…how long does it take a child to learn to clean their room properly?
10 things you may not know about BULLYING
Shred the label, save a child
Changes in thought
The suicide epidemic (suicide as a solution?)
Skill-based v. emotional solutions
Not TELL, but SHOW AND TELL
If you define a problem wrong, or use the
wrong steps, it never gets solved.
That’s what has happened with bullying.
When we call each other bullies or victims, or
even worse, say it’s ‘normal’ behavior we
move away from solutions.
Have you ever:
Called someone a name?
Left someone out on purpose?
The New Perception
All of us, including adults, young adults and
smaller children, use bully actions and victim
responses at times. At ALL times, each of us is a
• Language Change
• System Policy
• Move from control to collaboration
• Does this consequence contribute to the
restoration of a positive supportive climate to
• Partner – UKnowKids.com
How NSTAAB Helps
Creation of a system
Lessons for Schools
Website for Schools
Book for Parents
Train the Trainer
See our Web site for details!
#1 Using Bully Actions
General Tip: Watch for changes.
Signs your child is using bully actions:
– Your child shows aggressive impulses.
– Quick to become frustrated.
– Low levels of remorse and empathy.
– Actions may be supported.
– Blames others.
– Lacks insight into consequences.
#2 Receiving Bully Actions
Signs your child is receiving bully actions:
– School disruptions
– Change in route to school
– Negative mood changes when using technology
– Withdrawal from peers
– Extreme after school hunger
– Using bathroom immediately
#3 Using Victim Responses
Signs your child is using victim responses:
– Anxious and insecure behaviors. Fearful
– Cautious responses. Shame.
– Lacking in confidence.
– Few obvious friends.
– Individualistic characteristics.
– Provides entertaining responses.
#4 Depression and Suicide
• Over reactive outbursts of crying or anger
• sadness, irritability
• Loss of interest; withdrawal
• Changes in sleep patterns
• Changes in appetite or eating habits
• Feeling tired or slow
• Being restless, anxious, or worried, poor
The Link Between Depression
• Let’s just talk common sense…no research.
– People need people.
– People feel rejection deeply, even when they say they
– Each one of us, whatever ‘label’ we ascribe to, or avoid,
wants to be loved for the person that we are.
– When we are rejected through bully actions, it has an
– When we use bully actions, if we REALLY let ourselves
think and examine it, it has an emotional effect.
60,000 children miss school every day
1 in 7 Students in Grades K-12 is either a bully or a
victim of bullying.
56% of students have personally witnessed some type
of bullying at school.
15% of all school absenteeism is directly related to
fears of being bullied at school.
71% of students report incidents of bullying as a
problem at their school.
• Try new things
• Speak positively about self
• Higher tolerance for frustration
• Increased persistence
• Self motivation
• Realistic thinking
• Setbacks seen as temporary
• Problem solving
• Ability to work individually and in teams
• Sense of optimism
Tool #1 - Communication
• Saying No
• Tone of Voice
Tool #2 – Esteem Building
• Balanced thinking
• Calming mind
• Watch labels and names you use
• Watch self talk they use
• Positive accurate feedback
• Never say never
Tool #5 – Opportunity
• Opportunity to practice skills
• Opportunity to try new things
• Opportunity to help others
• Opportunity to choose new friends
• Opportunity to experience
Since I want to
post photos of
liquor, I am
ready for social
media and will
be taking a
hiatus until I
learn what I
Then and Now
• Childhood games
• The need for involvement
• The value of a moment
• Seeking the teachable moment
The Growing Personality
Adults and Children
• How adults are online
search and social media
close personal texting and calling
• How children are online
– Social media – snapchat, twitter, instagram, pinterest, myspace…
– Copious personal texting and calling
***Cautions: Snapchat, thedirty
What is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying: Use of internet services for Deliberate,
repeated, hostile behavior with the intention of harming
another, by an individual or group.
Trolling: “Trolling” is making inflammatory, anonymous
statements on the Internet for the sole purpose of derailing an
online discussion or provoking the other participants in the
Signs of Cyberbullying
• signs of emotional distress during or after using the
Internet or the phone
• being very protective or secretive of their digital life
• withdrawal from friends and activities
• avoidance of school or group gatherings
• slipping grades and "acting out" in anger at home
• changes in mood, behavior, sleep, or appetite
• shutting down a social media site
• - 1 in 5 Canadian Teens have witnessed online Bullying
• - 25% of kids between 12-15 have witnessed cyberbullying
• - 25% of girls and 17% of boys have witnessed online
• - 51% of all teens have had negative experience with social
• - 16% said someone posted an embarrassing photo of them
• - 12% said someone hacked their account
What is “sexting”?
Sexting is the act of sending sexually
explicit messages and/or photographs, primarily
between mobile phones.
Stats and Prevention
• 33% of youth aged 18-24 have sexted.
• 24% of youth aged 14-17 have sexted.
• 66% of girls and 60% of boys did it because it was fun
• Teens who use cell phones as a dominant form of
communication are more likely to send and receive
**Monitoring, awareness and communication
What is “grooming”?
Child grooming refers to actions deliberately
undertaken with the aim of befriending and
establishing an emotional connection with a
child, to lower the child's inhibitions in
preparation for sexual activity with the child, or
Signs of “Grooming”
• “Let’s go private.”
• “Where’s your computer in the house?”
• “Who’s your favorite band? Designer? Film? Gear?”
• “I know someone who can get you a modeling job.”
• “I know a way you can earn money fast.”
• “You seem sad. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
• “What’s your phone number?”
• “If you don’t... [do what I ask], I’ll... [tell your parents OR share your
• “You are the love of my life.”
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Educate, Engage, Protect, Share
Presentations for Students
Then visit cybertip.ca
Take your photo (Canadian kids)
Q & A
• Bullying Prevention team
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