Chapter 11 Asserting Yourself
<ul><li>Making your desires and feelings known in instances that matter to you is assertive. </li></ul><ul><li>Failing to ...
Passivity, Aggression, Assertion <ul><li>Passive behavior is failing to make your desires known. </li></ul><ul><li>Passive...
<ul><li>The impetus for passive behavior, passive aggressive behavior, and aggressive behavior is fear. </li></ul><ul><li>...
Fear Begets Anger <ul><li>Fear is at the root of all anger. </li></ul><ul><li>Fear creates vulnerability. </li></ul><ul><l...
Anger and Your Negotiation Effectiveness <ul><li>Anger creates physiological changes. </li></ul><ul><li>Blood pressure may...
Control Techniques <ul><li>Hold your breath. Count to ten. </li></ul><ul><li>Check your perceptions. </li></ul><ul><li>Rec...
Anger Management Tools <ul><li>Identify things that repeatedly make you angry. </li></ul><ul><li>Identify your fears. </li...
Strategies for Anger Management <ul><li>If you are angry about something you cannot change, change yourself–your perceptio...
Increasing Self-Esteem <ul><li>Load your mind with positive thoughts about yourself. </li></ul><ul><li>Cancel negative asp...
Assertive Behavior Defined <ul><li>Specify the matter at issue. </li></ul><ul><li>Specify your feelings about the matter. ...
Building Assertion Skills <ul><li>Speak up. </li></ul><ul><li>Make statements that contain the five elements: specific mat...
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19. assertion and negotiation tool to conflict mgmt

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19. assertion and negotiation tool to conflict mgmt

  1. 1. Chapter 11 Asserting Yourself
  2. 2. <ul><li>Making your desires and feelings known in instances that matter to you is assertive. </li></ul><ul><li>Failing to speak up in instances that are UNimportant to you is NOT necessarily Unassertive. </li></ul>Assertion
  3. 3. Passivity, Aggression, Assertion <ul><li>Passive behavior is failing to make your desires known. </li></ul><ul><li>Passive aggressive behavior is failing to be direct. </li></ul><ul><li>Hostile aggressive behavior is being directly offensive. </li></ul><ul><li>Assertion is making your feelings and desires known. </li></ul>
  4. 4. <ul><li>The impetus for passive behavior, passive aggressive behavior, and aggressive behavior is fear. </li></ul><ul><li>Aggressive behavior makes the other want to strike back. </li></ul>
  5. 5. Fear Begets Anger <ul><li>Fear is at the root of all anger. </li></ul><ul><li>Fear creates vulnerability. </li></ul><ul><li>Fear triggers the fight or flight response. </li></ul><ul><li>In negotiation, fight or flight is avoid or compete. </li></ul>
  6. 6. Anger and Your Negotiation Effectiveness <ul><li>Anger creates physiological changes. </li></ul><ul><li>Blood pressure may rise. </li></ul><ul><li>Cognitive functioning diminishes. </li></ul><ul><li>You are not in control of yourself when angry. </li></ul><ul><li>Distress sets in. </li></ul><ul><li>Incompetence sets in. </li></ul>
  7. 7. Control Techniques <ul><li>Hold your breath. Count to ten. </li></ul><ul><li>Check your perceptions. </li></ul><ul><li>Recognize your anger. </li></ul><ul><li>Do not panic. </li></ul><ul><li>Think of something that makes you smile. </li></ul><ul><li>Assess your options and act appropriately. </li></ul>
  8. 8. Anger Management Tools <ul><li>Identify things that repeatedly make you angry. </li></ul><ul><li>Identify your fears. </li></ul><ul><li>Assess whether the fears are real or imagined. </li></ul><ul><li>Get rid of imagined fears! </li></ul><ul><li>Identify your options for real fears. </li></ul><ul><li>Develop a strategy to conquer. </li></ul>
  9. 9. Strategies for Anger Management <ul><li>If you are angry about something you cannot change, change yourself–your perception and understanding. </li></ul><ul><li>Accept the past. Forgive. Let go. </li></ul><ul><li>Challenge your thinking. </li></ul><ul><li>Find other reasons for behaviors – reasons that do not make you angry. </li></ul><ul><li>Build your internal locus of control. </li></ul><ul><li>Increase your self-esteem. </li></ul><ul><li>Increase your assertion skills. </li></ul>
  10. 10. Increasing Self-Esteem <ul><li>Load your mind with positive thoughts about yourself. </li></ul><ul><li>Cancel negative aspirations from yourself and from others. </li></ul><ul><li>Associate with people who make you feel good. </li></ul>
  11. 11. Assertive Behavior Defined <ul><li>Specify the matter at issue. </li></ul><ul><li>Specify your feelings about the matter. </li></ul><ul><li>Specify how the matter affects you. </li></ul><ul><li>Recognize the other’s view. </li></ul><ul><li>Seek resolution. </li></ul>
  12. 12. Building Assertion Skills <ul><li>Speak up. </li></ul><ul><li>Make statements that contain the five elements: specific matter; specific feelings; specific effects; recognition of others; seeks resolution. </li></ul><ul><li>Compliment others. </li></ul><ul><li>Ask others to explain their reasoning. </li></ul><ul><li>Make eye contact. </li></ul><ul><li>Use “I” often. </li></ul>

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